Late Night Retro Television Review: Sledge Hammer 1.6 “To Sledge, With Love”


Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Fridays, I will be reviewing SLEDGE HAMMER!, a cop comedy which ran on ABC from 1986 to 1988. The entire series can be found on Prime!

This week, Sledge is going back to school!

Episode 1.6 “To Sledge, With Love”

(Dir by David Wechter, originally aired on October 31st, 1986)

When an obnoxious man insists on smoking a cigar in the police station despite it being against the rules, Sledge Hammer shoots the cigar out of his mouth. Later, when Hammer asks Captain Trunk if he’s going to yell at him about shooting the cigar, Trunk asks what difference it would make.

It’s good to see that Trunk is learning.

Speaking of learning, the local high school has been taken over by a gang! It’s time for Sledge Hammer and Dori to go back to school. Unfortunately for Hammer, that means that he can’t shoot or even hit anyone. “You mean I have to wait until this punk is 18 before I can toss him off the roof?” Hammer asks. Sorry, Hammer!

The school has a lot of problems, but the main one is a delinquent named Turk (Shawn Klugman). Turk is more concerned with stealing cars for Mr. Roscoe (Norman Alden) than with going to class. When Sledge Hammer tries to get through to him by showing off his gun and challenging him to a fight, Turk laughs him off. When Sledge Hammer tries to teach Turk that he’s a “homosapien,” Turk angrily declares that he has lots of girlfriends and then walks out of class.

It looks like Turk is a lost cause, but Hammer has one more trick up his sleeve. He reveals how much money Roscoe is making by selling used cars. Turk realizes that he deserves to get paid a lot more than just $500 for his hard work. Turk helps Hammer take down Roscoe and then, at the end of the episode, he announces that he’s going to join the Police Academy as soon as he graduates.

Good work, Hammer!

I enjoyed this episode more than last week’s. While last week’s episode sometimes seemed to be a bit too much of a straight crime drama, this week’s episode returns to the format of nonstop jokes. The entire episode is a parody of those painfully earnest films where a teacher comes to a tough school and manages to change the lives of their students. Hammer changes lives not with confidence-building and smart lesson plans but instead with a big gun. Hey, whatever gets the job done!

How do you thank someone who took you from crayons to perfume? It’s not easy, but I’ll try….

Retro Television Review: St. Elsewhere 4.11 “Santa Claus Is Dead”


Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Fridays, I will be reviewing St. Elsewhere, a medical show which ran on NBC from 1982 to 1988.  The show can be found on Daily Motion.

It’s Christmas in Boston.

Episode 4.11 “Santa Claus Is Dead”

(Dir by Leo Penn, originally aired on December 18th, 1985)

It’s the holidays and, of course, Westphall is depressed.

Are we surprised? It’s Christmas. Everyone else is making an effort to spread some holiday cheer. Westphall is being his usual glum self. Westphall is — and I know this is just going to be the most shocking reveal ever, so I’ll give you a chance to get ready for it — an agnostic who doesn’t celebrate the holidays. WOW! Who would have guessed?

Yes, yes, I know: Westphall is supposed to be the moral center of this show, the man who takes all the burdens of running the hospital on his shoulders. That may have been the writers’ intention, but for the most part he just comes across like a self-righteous bore.

Lizzie (Dana Short) and her boyfriend, Rick (Casey Siemaszko), visit Westphall for the holidays. Rick seems like a genuinely nice guy who is sad because he’s away from his family and their Christmas traditions. Westphall isn’t much help. When Rick gives him a present, Westphall smiles glumly. When Rick talks about how it’s Christmas Eve and his Catholic family usually attends midnight mass, Westphall says that he and Lizzie should go to a movie because “there won’t be any lines.” When Rick and Lizzie decide to go to the midnight service at St. Barnabas and agree to take Tommy with them, Westphall says that he won’t be joining them. If Rick, a Catholic, is willing to spend Christmas with a bunch of Episcopalians, the least Westphall could do is set aside his boring agnosticism for one night.

Dr. Craig hosts his annual Christmas party. Feeling sad about Stephen, Craig drinks too much and ends up crying in the kitchen. When Ellen tells him that it’s time to go to St. Barnabas, Craig refuses and complains that he can’t worship a God who would so “arbitrarily” kill his son. My heart broke for the Craigs. Still, there’s always something annoying about people who have no problem believing in God when bad things happen to other people, then have a sudden crisis of faith as soon as something bad happens to them. On the one hand, I felt Mark pain.  On the other hand, there was a part of me that thought, Hey, Mark — your son was a drug addict who got high and drove. What do you expect God to do about it?

At the hospital, the man hired to play Santa Claus (Aaron Fletcher) has a heart attack and collapses right in front of a bunch of horrified children. At first it appears that Santa is going to live, but after surgery he has another heart attack and dies. Because Axelrod was Santa’s doctor, Dr. Auschlander’s grandson, Max (Danny McMurphy), accuses Axelrod of killing Santa.

Fortunately, before Santa died, Max did tell him that he wants a snow globe to replace one that belonged to his grandmother. (Max accidentally broke it.) After Santa dies, Max’s grandmother discovers that a gift has been left for her under the hospital’s Christmas tree. It’s the snow globe! So the old man really was Santa.

And now he’s dead.

The episode ends at St. Barnabas. Westphall shows up at the service, and Tommy, who usually tries to hit his father, runs down the aisle to hug him. Meanwhile, Dr. Craig walks in the rain.

Wow, what a depressing Christmas episode. It was also a pretty moving one. I will admit that I started crying as soon as Santa had his heart attack. Seeing Santa in the hospital brought back memories of sitting with Dad when he was in home hospice care. I was the one who was there when he died, and I was the one who sat there for two hours, waiting for the hospice nurse to arrive. Back in 2023, I had no idea that would be the last time I would ever give him a Christmas present. As this episode showed, there’s a lot of sadness in the world, but there are also those moments of happiness and, if we’re lucky, community.

Yes, Santa died. But at least he got to deliver one final gift.

Live Tweet Alert: Join #FridayNightFlix for Sudden Death!


As some of our regular readers undoubtedly know, I am involved in a few weekly watch parties.  On Twitter, I host #FridayNightFlix every Friday and I co-host #ScarySocial on Saturday.  On Mastodon, I am one of the five hosts of #MondayActionMovie!  Every week, we get together.  We watch a movie.  We tweet our way through it.

Tonight, at 10 pm et, I will be hosting #FridayNightFlix!  The movie?  Sudden Death!

If you want to join us this Friday, just hop onto twitter, find Sudden Death on Prime, start the movie at 10 pm et, and use the #FridayNightFlix hashtag!  I’ll be there happily tweeting.  It’s a friendly group and welcoming of newcomers so don’t be shy.

See you there!

 

 

4 Shots From 4 Striking Films


4 Shots From 4 Films is just what it says it is, 4 shots from 4 of our favorite films.  As opposed to the reviews and recaps that we usually post, 4 Shots From 4 Films is all about letting the visuals do the talking.

4 Shots From 4 Striking Films

Salt of the Earth

Salt of the Earth (1954, directed by Herbert J. Biberman)

The Molly Maguires (1970, directed by Martin Ritt)

The Molly Maguires (1970, directed by Martin Ritt)

F.I.S.T. (1978, directed by Norman Jewison)

F.I.S.T. (1978, directed by Norman Jewison)

Made in Dagenham (2010, directed by Nigel Cole)

Made in Dagenham (2010, directed by Nigel Cole)

 

Late Night Retro Television Review: Hunter 2.2 “Night of the Dragons”


Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Thursdays, I will be reviewing Hunter, which aired on NBC from 1984 to 1991.  The entire show is currently streaming on Tubi and several other services!

This week, Hunter and McCall get involved in a gang war in Chinatown!

Episode 2.2 “Night of the Dragons”

(Dir by James Whitmore, Jr, originally aired on September 28th, 1985)

McCall’s desire to try out a Chinese restaurant leads to her and Hunter witnessing a shootout and an apparent murder in Chinatown. (It’s “apparent” because the body disappears in all the confusion.) A war is brewing between two gang lords, the Chinese Chang (James Hong) and the Vietnamese Mr. Nim (Arsenio “Sonny” Trinidad). However, when Hunter and McCall try to investigate, they’re told to let the “Asian Affairs Unit” handle things.

Hunter suspects that an old friend, Detective Raymond Lau (Clyde Kusatsu), has gone crooked and is now working for Chang. It turns out Hunter is half-right. Lau is giving information to Chang, but only because Chang has kidnapped his daughter and is holding her hostage. Chang, it turns out, likes to kidnap people. For instance, he kidnaps McCall. How often can McCall get kidnapped? It seems to happen fairly frequently.

This was another action-packed episode of Hunter. Every few minutes, someone is either shooting a gun or threatening to. Meanwhile, McCall just wanted to find a nice Chinese place to eat. It’s obvious that, with the second season, the show had found a formula that worked for it and was determined to stick to it. This episode benefited from strong guest performances from Hong, Trinidad, and especially Clyde Kusatsu.

That said, I do wish this episode had explored its themes a bit more deeply. It’s mentioned that Hunter served in Vietnam, but it’s mostly just a throwaway reference used to explain how Hunter knew that the bullets recovered from a crime scene had been fired by Mr. Nim’s gang. The rivalry between the Chinese Chang and the Vietnamese Nim also serves as a reminder of the Vietnam War, but again, the episode doesn’t really dig into it. At one point, Chang says that Lau is weak because he was born not in China but in America, and again, it’s hard not to feel that the episode missed an opportunity to dig deeper with both men.

(I’ll also mention that, at one point, McCall compares one of the Chinese gangsters to Godzilla. Godzilla, needless to say, is part of Japan’s culture and not China’s.)

This was a good episode of Hunter that felt like it had the potential to be so much more.

Retro Television Review: Sylvan In Paradise 1.1 “Pilot”


Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  This Thursday, I will be reviewing Sylvan in Paradise, which aired its only episode on NBC in 1986.  The show can be found on YouTube!

Episode 1.1 “Pilot”

(Dir by Terry Hughes, originally aired on August 2nd, 1986)

“Welcome, welcome, welcome,” says Sylvan Sprayberry (Jim Nabors) to the guest checking into the Hawaiian hotel that employs him. Sylvan is tall, goofy, and talkative, and it’s never really made clear how he somehow became the head bellboy at a hotel in Hawaii. At one point, even Sylvan says he can’t believe he’s gone from “pickin’ cotton in Alabama” to working in paradise.

The uptight owner of the hotel, Clinton Waddle (Brent Spiner), fears that Sylvan will embarrass him when the Vice Consul of New Zealand (Michael Ensign) checks in. Sylvan is more concerned with making sure his niece, Lucy Apple (Courteney Cox), has a wonderful wedding when she marries another bellboy, Sparky McCann (Glenn Withrow).

When a guest who claims to be named Roy Rogers (Pat McCormick) gives Sylvan a statue to deliver to “a man in a green jacket,” Sylvan hands the statue off to Sparky so Sparky can get the tip. Unfortunately, both Roy Rogers and the man in the green jacket turn out to be drug smugglers, and the statue is full of cocaine. Sparky’s going to jail! “Golly!” Sylvan says.

Sylvan sure does feel bad about ruining Lucy’s wedding and getting Sparky sent to jail. Plus, the Vice Consul is now insisting on checking out of the hotel. When Sylvan insists on helping the Vice Consul with his luggage, one of the suitcases opens and reveals that the Vice Consul of New Zealand is himself a drug smuggler. Ha! Take that, New Zealand!

Somehow this leads to Sparky getting out of jail. No one has any hard feelings against Sylvan because he’s such a nice guy. Personally, I would have hard feelings, because just about everything that happens in this episode could have been avoided if Sylvan weren’t so stupid. Jim Nabors gives the same performance here that he gave as Gomer Pyle in the 1960s. The only problem is that Gomer was supposed to be young, whereas Sylvan is in his late 50s and looks older. He really has no excuse for not knowing any better. Would you hire someone who screws everything up to be your head bellhop?

The pilot did not become a series. Today, the only thing really interesting about it is that it featured a pre-Star Trek Brent Spiner and a pre-Friends Courteney Cox. Cox is stuck playing a one-dimensional role, but at least Spiner gets to express some annoyance with Sylvan. He was probably speaking for the entire audience.

Join #TubiThursday For Rambo: First Blood Part II!


Hi, everyone!  Tonight, on Mastodon, I will be hosting the #TubiThursday watch party!  Join us for 1985’s anti-communist masterpiece, Rambo: First Blood Part II!

You can find the movie on Tubi and you can join us on Mastodon at 9 pm central time!  (That’s 10 pm for you folks on the East Coast.)  We will be using #TubiThursday hashtag!  See you then!