16 Initial Thoughts on Twin Peaks: The Return Part 11 (dir by David Lynch)

Posted on July 23, 2017 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Here are my initial thoughts on Part 11 of Twin Peaks: The Return! As always, a full recap will be posted either later tonight or sometime tomorrow.

Was I the only one frightened that kid would get hit by a car as soon as he ran out into the street? Seriously, Richard Horne’s still out there.
Has Norma just been sitting in that corner booth for the last 7 days?
To be honest, I wasn’t expecting Harry Dean Stanton to be as prominent in this series as he has been. That’s not a complaint. Harry Dean makes everything better.
I’d still like to know if Shelley and Bobby ever got married. It’s kind of sad that they’re no longer together because they were a cute, if murderous, couple. (No sooner did I write this comment then the show answered my question. Thank you, Twin Peaks!)
Oh shit — was that a woodsman wandering around South Dakota?
“He’s dead.” I love David Lynch’s delivery of that line.
So, I guess that’s it for Matthew Lillard. Well, he had a good three episodes and hopefully, someone will cast him in another decent role.
So, Shelley went from Leo to Bad Bobby to Red. I have a weakness for bad boys too but come on, Shelley…
Stop honking your goddamn horn!
I’m liking Bobby as the voice of moral authority in Twin Peaks. I’ve been reading Reflections: An Oral History of Twin Peaks by Brad Dukes and everyone interviewed described Dana Ashbrook as being, even at the height of the show’s success, a genuinely nice and humble person, certainly the opposite of the way Bobby was portrayed in the original series. So, it’s nice to see him getting a chance to explore a different side of his best-known role.
One question I would ask Bushnell Mullens: How does a former boxer end up running an insurance company?
For some reason, Jim Belushi eating Raisin Bran just feels like one of the most Twin Peaks things ever.
Las Vegas really is the perfect David Lynch town.
“Everywhere I looked there could have been a hole…”http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b2dewDwIQyM
Awwwww! Dougie bought a cherry pie.
Dougie’s going to be President by the end this show is over.

Twin Peaks on TSL:

TV Review: Twin Peaks: The Return Part 10 (dir by David Lynch)

Posted on July 17, 2017 by Lisa Marie Bowman

I’m getting a late start on this recap and I imagine that, by the time I’m finished rewatching the latest episode of Twin Peaks and typing all this up, I’ll probably barely be able to keep my eyes open. Dexedrine is a wonderful and helpful tool but it can only do so much.

(Don’t freak out, I take it for my ADD. It helps me focus. The endless energy is just a nice side benefit.)

So, I better not waste any time! Let’s talk about Part 10 of Twin Peaks!

We open in Twin Peaks, at the trailer park to be exact. Richard Horne (Eamon Farren) pulls up outside the trailer of Miriam (Sarah Jean Long), the poor woman who was unlucky enough to see him running down that little boy a few episodes ago. As this episode will demonstrate, Richard is perhaps the most loathsome character to ever appear in a David Lynch film. Even Blue Velvet‘s Frank Booth never ran down a child while driving around Lumberton.

From inside her trailer, Miriam yells at Richard that not only has she gone to the police but that she also wrote Sheriff Truman a letter, telling him that, if anything happens to her, Richard is the one responsible. Richard responds by rushing into the trailer and beating Miriam to death.

As Richard walks away from the trailer, he calls his Deputy Chad (John Pirruccello) and orders him to intercept the letter and keep Truman from reading it.

Elsewhere in the trailer park. Carl (Harry Dean Stanton) sits in front of the manager’s office, plays his guitar, and sings. The gentleness of Carl’s voice provides a stark contrast to the rest of the episode.

Carl’s song is interrupted by the sound of Steve (Caleb Landry Jones), in another trailer, yelling at Becky (Amanda Seyfried) and throwing stuff out the window. Becky is not only Shelley’s daughter but apparently, she’s found herself married to a modern-day Leo Johnson as well. Just like Leo, Steve is upset because he feels Becky isn’t keeping their home clean enough.

(Whatever happened to Leo? I assume all those tarantulas eventually fell on his face and killed him.)

In Las Vegas, Candie (Amy Shiels) — wearing her iconic pink dress — attempts to kill a fly by hitting it with a remote. Unfortunately, the fly happens to be on the face of Rodney Mitchum (Robert Knepper), which leads to him getting smacked. Bradley (James Belushi) rushes into the room the make sure that Rodney is okay, while Candie screams and sobs. The fly, I believe, escaped unharmed.

Janey-E (Naomi Watts) and Dougie (Kyle MacLachlan) visit with Dr. Ben (John Billingsley). While Dougie continues to stare blankly forward, Janey-E explains that he’s been acting strangely for a few days. Janey-E explains that Dougie has a drinking and gambling problem. Dr. Ben is bemused by Dougie’s weight loss. Janey-E agrees that Dougie has lost a lot of weight … “in a good way.” Dr. Ben announces that Dougie appears to be in perfect health. “Remarkable,” Janey-E says while looking at the shirtless Dougie.

Back the Mitchum place, Candie is still crying while Rodney assures her that he’s fine. On the TV, Bradley and Rodney watch a news story about both Dougie and the arrest of Ike the Spike.

“Brad,” Rodney says, “remind me to call off that hit on Ike.”

“Saved us a wad of dough!” Bradley agrees, “Niiiiiiiice!”

Bradley recognizes Dougie from the news. “That’s our Mr. Jackpots,” Bradley says.

At the Jones house, Janey-E watches Dougie eat cake. She asks if he finds her attractive. Dougie says nothing, entranced by the cake. Janey-E tells him that she finds him attractive. Dougie stares at her blankly. Janey-E takes Dougie upstairs, where she rides him while he lays underneath her in a state of stunned euphoria. (Dougie/Cooper, of course, is experiencing all of this for the first time.) Afterward, she tells Dougie, “I love you.” “Love you,” Dougie blankly repeats.

In Twin Peaks, Dr. Jacoby (Russ Tamblyn) rants on his podcast about pharmaceutical companies. Nadine (Wendy Robie) listens approvingly. We see that she’s sitting in her own store, Run Silent Run Drapes. Yay! Nadine finally perfected her drape runners!

It’s morning in Vegas. As Sonny Jim (Pierce Gagnon), fresh from being traumatized by all the noise his parents made while he was trying to get some sleep, waits in the car, Janey-E tells Dougie that she can’t stop thinking about last night. Dougie blankly nods.

In the wilderness outside Twin Peaks, Jerry (David Patrick Kelly) is still lost. “You can’t fool me!” he yells, “I’ve been here before!”

At the Sheriff’s office, Lucy (Kimmy Robertson) wonders why Deputy Chad is hanging out in the lobby. Of course, we know that Chad is waiting for the mail so that he can intercept Miriam’s letter. Chad, however, just says that he’s appreciating the beauty of the day. Chad sees the mailman pulling up so he runs outside to meet him. Lucy is rightly suspicious, especially when Chad rather obviously stuffs Miriam’s letter under his shirt.

This is followed by a scene that literally left me queasy. At the Horne House, a bruised and battered Johnny Horne (Eric Rondell) stares at a creepy toy that has the body of teddy bear and a head of glass. Throughout the entire violent and brutal scene that will follow, the toy continues to ask — in a vaguely British accent — “Hello, Johnny. How are you today?”

Johnny Horne (Richard’s uncle)

Richard bursts into the house and demands that Sylvia (Jan D’Arcy) give him money. When she tells him to ask his grandfather, Richard grabs her by throat. As Richard attacks her (and Farren is absolutely terrifying in this scene), Johnny falls out of the chair and groans on the floor. It gets even worse when Johnny calls Sylvia “grandma.”

Sylvia, Richard’s grandmother

In other words, tonight, my greatest fear was confirmed. Richard is Audrey’s son. And judging from both his sociopathic personality and their shared affinity for leather jackets, it appears that Richard’s father is the Doppelganger. A few episodes ago, Dr. Hayward revealed the, when Cooper last saw Audrey, she was still in a coma.

Richard Horne (son of Audrey and Cooper’s Doppelganger)

Richard gets the money. He also calls his grandmother the C-word and steals her jewelry. “Why do you have to make something so simple so fucking difficult!?” Richard snaps before leaving.

Seriously, this scene — more than anything else that we’ve seen so far in this series — left me truly shaken. The performances of Farren and D’Arcy were so intense that, even though I knew it was coming and what would happen, I still had to take a break after rewatching this scene.

After that disturbing scene, we cut back to Las Vegas. Roger (Joe Adler) tells Duncan Todd (Patrick Fischler) that it’s true that Ike has been captured by the police. After Roger leaves, we see that Anthony Sinclair (Tom Sizemore) is in Duncan’s office. Duncan tells Anthony that he’s to go to the Mitchum Brothers and that he’s to claim that Dougie cheated them out of an insurance claim. Duncan believes that the Mitchums will respond by killing Dougie. If the Mitchums don’t kill Dougie, Anthony will have to do it himself.

In South Dakota, love is in the air. Albert (Miguel Ferrer) is on a date with coroner Constance Talbot (Jane Adams). A bemused Gordon (David Lynch) watches them, with Tammy (Chrysta Bell) at his side. But Gordon — you belong with Shelley!

Back in Vegas, Anthony goes to the casino and is spotted by the Mitchum brothers. They tell Candie — who, like the other ladies in pink, is hanging out in their office — to bring Anthony to see them. “You want me to bring him here?” Candie asks, somewhat vaguely, before heading to the casino floor.

As they watch Candie and Anthony on the surveillance footage, the Mitchum brothers realize that they may have made a mistake sending Candie. Candie and Anthony start to have a long conversation. Bradley is finally forced to tell the pit boss, Warrick (David Dastmalchian) to bring both Candie and Anthony back to the main office.

Before Rodney can complain, Bradley says, “If we fire her, she’s got no place to go.” So, in case you were wondering which brother was the nice brother, apparently it’s Jim Belushi.

Anyway, Candie and Anthony finally arrive at the office. The Mitchums demand to know what Candie and Anthony were talking about. Candie thinks for a minute and then remembers that they were talking about how it was going to be hot and smoggy the next day.

Anthony finally gets his chance to tell the Mitchum brothers that Dougie handled their denied claim and that he has a personal vendetta against them. Anthony is not exactly the best liar and the Mitchums tell Candie to show Anthony out of their office.

“You have an enemy in Douglas Jones!” Anthony shouts.

Later, Bradley and Rodney have a drink in their living room. Despite Anthony not being the most convincing of storytellers, the Mitchum brothers appear to believe him and they both agree that Dougie has to die. Rodney announces, “Now I know how Brando felt.”

(Wally Brando, maybe?)

Back in South Dakota, Gordon sits in his hotel room and draws a picture — one that resembles the cave drawings from the 2nd season of Twin Peaks — on a piece of paper. Someone knocks on his door. When Gordon answers it, he has a vision of Laura crying while hearing Sarah Palmer (Grace Zabriksie) calling Laura’s name.

As the vision fades, Gordon sees that Albert is standing out in the hallway. Albert enters the hotel room and reveals that, while they were in the morgue, Diane received a text on her phone: “Around the dinner table, the conversation is lively.” Albert says that he and Tammy tracked the text as coming from Mexico. Diane responded with a heavily encrypted message: “They have Hastings. He’s going to take them to the site.”

“What should we do?” Albert asks.

“Keep her close,” Gordon replies.

Tammy then shows up at the room, revealing that she has new information concerning “the penthouse murders” in New York City. (That would be the murder of poor Sam and Tracy in Part 1.) She shows Gordon a picture of the Doppelganger in the penthouse, standing in front of the glass case.

At the Great Northern, Ben (Richard Beymer) takes a call from his now ex-wife, Sylvia. Sylvia demands that Ben repay her all of the money that Richard stole from her. Ben refuses. Sadly, when Ben asks if Johnny’s okay, Sylvia snaps back, “No concern about me!”

Hanging up on his former wife, a frustrated Ben calls out, “Beverly, do you want to have dinner with me?”

At her lonely house, the Log Lady (Catherine Coulson) calls Hawks (Michael Horse) and tell him that “Electricity is humming. You can hear it in the mountains and rivers…in these days, the glow is dying? What will be in the darkness that remains?”

(This scene is even more poignant when you consider it was probably the final thing that Coulson ever filmed before passing away last year.)

The Log Lady tells Hawk that the Truman brothers are “true men … they are your brothers … watch and lesson to the dream of time and space…Hawk…Laura is the one…”

At the Road House, Rebekah Del Rio performs, providing both this episode and the series as a whole with yet another link to Mulholland Drive. (That’s not as crazy as it sounds. Mulholland Drive was originally envisioned as being a spin-off of Twin Peaks, with Audrey moving to Hollywood.)

What to say about this episode? It was, in many ways, deceptively simple. All of the disparate elements of the show are finally coming together. The appearances by Sizemore, Belushi, and Knepper served to remind us — just as Jennifer Jason Leigh did last week — that Twin Peaks is not just random David Lynch quirkiness. Everything is connected. A story is being told. You just have to have the patience to look for the clues.

And finally, to those reviewers complaining that Twin Peaks: The Return is misogynistic, open your eyes. Yes, many of the characters are misogynists. Not a single one of them is, in anyway, portrayed sympathetically. He may be a surrealist but David Lynch is one of the most humanistic filmmakers of all time. If the world of Twin Peaks is sometimes ugly, so is the world outside your front door.

Twin Peaks on TSL:

20 Initial Thoughts on Twins Peaks: The Return Part 10 (dir by David Lynch)

Posted on July 16, 2017 by Lisa Marie Bowman

As always, these are just my initial thoughts. A full recap will appear on this site either tonight or tomorrow. It’s been crazy day/

I’m DVRing Game of Thrones, I’ll get around to it tomorrow probably. Believe it or not, I’ll probably have an easier time following the plot of Twin Peaks than I will Game of Thrones.
Damn! As if you didn’t already need a reason to loathe Richard Horne…
Eamon Farren does a good job playing Richard but seriously, the character is just so loathsome. I hope he’s not Audrey’s son.
I would love a chance to sit down and interview Harry Dean Stanton. I can’t wait to see Lucky, an upcoming film in which he co-stars with none other than David Lynch.
We lived in some scary places when I was growing up but we managed to avoid the trailer park. This episode is making me happy that was the case.
Jerry’s never going to get out of the woods.
Does Chad actually do anything or does he just hang out at the sheriff’s station all day?
Uh-oh, did Richard just call Mrs. Horne grandma? Oh my God, he is Audrey’s son…
If Richard is dead by the end of this episode, I will not complain.
Oh my God — what if the Doppelganger and Audrey had a son named Richard?
Richard just called his own grandmother the C-word. Okay, he needs to die.
On a sad note, Richard’s behavior is perhaps the most realistic thing about Twin Peaks. There are way too many Richard Hornes in the world.
To be honest, I’m always a little relieved with a character or an actor, like Jim Belushi or Tom Sizemore, from a previous episode shows up. It’s a reminder that this isn’t just random Lynch quirkiness. A story actually is being told here.
If I was on Twin Peaks, I would totally want to wear a pink dress and spent my time leaning against a wall with an unimpressed look on my face. Actually, that’s pretty much what I do all day anyway but still…
Laura!
I guess Ben and Sylvia are divorced now.
The Log Lady! (RIP, Catherine Coulson)
Is anyone else starting to get the feeling that Dougie/Cooper is never going to get back to normal?
Tonight’s music guest was Rebekkah del Rio. Her performance in Mulholland Drive is still one of the most haunting things ever.
If I seem distracted, it’s because — while I was watching Twin Peaks — a friend of mine found herself being so harassed by online trolls that she shut down her twitter account. Shit like that needs to stop. I don’t care what you worship, I don’t care how you vote, I don’t care what you watch, and I don’t care what you listen to — if you’re a bully, you’ve got to go. The bullies have got to go.

Twin Peaks on TSL:

Lisa Cleans Out Her DVR: Homer and Eddie (dir by Andrei Konchalovsky)

Posted on June 13, 2017 by Lisa Marie Bowman

(Lisa is currently in the process of cleaning out her DVR. It’s taking her such a long time that she’s running out of cutesy ways to talk about how long it’s taking. She recorded this 1989 comedy off of Starz on May 10th.)

This is another strange one.

Homer and Eddie opens with Homer (James Belushi) standing on the corner of an isolated stretch of desert road. He is hitchhiking. When a car finally stops to pick him up, Homer is so excited! He gets in the back seat, gives the two men in the front seat a really wide smile, and innocently asks them how they’re doing.

One of the men (played by director John Waters) holds up a gun and demands all of Homer’s money. After Homer hands the money over, he is kicked out of the car. As the car drives away, Homer pulls a few dollars out of his sock and loudly yells that he fooled them and that they didn’t get all of his money.

The car abruptly stops and, going in reverse, pulls back up to Homer. Homer gives up his money and the car speeds off.

In short, Homer probably shouldn’t be hitchhiking on his own. Homer, you see, was hit in the head by a baseball when he was younger. He has the mind and the innocent outlook of a child. He is cheerful, he is religious, and he is totally unprepared to deal with real world.

Fortunately, Homer won’t be alone for too long. Homer comes across an apparently deserted car and, without money or a place to stay, he decides to use the car as shelter. However, it turns out that the car isn’t as abandoned as it looks! No, the car is being used by Eddie (Whoopi Goldberg). Eddie stole the car when she escaped from a mental institution. Why was Eddie in the mental institution? She’s a paranoid schizophrenic and she occasionally kills people. Eddie and Homer are soon taking a very strange road trip, heading up north so that Homer can see his dying father.

It’s a very disjointed film, one that switches tone from scene to scene. The two stars seem to be acting in totally different movies. Belushi gives a very broad performance, one that often crosses the line into pure goofiness. Eddie, meanwhile, is continually and constantly full of rage. You never know when she’s going to snap and kill someone. I spent a good deal of the movie waiting for her to kill Homer. Maybe that was the point but it’s still hard to laugh at scenes of Homer and Eddie waving at a school bus full of cheerleaders when you’re also waiting for Whoopi Goldberg to beat and dismember Jim Belushi.

Homer and Eddie can summed up by one lengthy sequence. Eddie takes Homer to a brothel so that he can lose his virginity. While Homer is dancing around in his underwear, Eddie is at a convenience store, shooting the clerk (played by Pruitt Taylor Vince). The clerk, who was perfectly nice to Eddie before getting shot, looks at his wound and feebly says, “Why did you do that?” before dying.

It’s a weird little movie. Usually, I love weird moves but this one is too much of a mess for even me. As I watched it, I couldn’t help but think of how much more interesting the movie would be if it was the child-like Homer killing people and schizophrenic Eddie trying to keep him calm. On a positive note, this was decades before Whoopi Goldberg gave up her edginess to co-host The View and she gives shockingly good performance. When Eddie loses control, she’s actually frightening. But, unfortunately, the film itself just doesn’t work.

Shattered Politics #87: The Ghost Writer (dir by Roman Polanski)

Posted on February 10, 2015 by Lisa Marie Bowman

In the 2010 film The Ghost Writer, Ewan McGregor plays a character known as the Ghost. We never actually learn the name of his character and that’s perhaps appropriate. The Ghost has made his living by being anonymous. He’s a ghost writer. He’s the guy who is hired to help inarticulate and occasionally illiterate celebrities write best-selling biographies.

The Ghost has been given a new assignment. He is to ghost write the memoirs of former British Prime Minister Adam Lang (Pierce Brosnan). Despite the fact that Adam is one of the most famous men in the world, the Ghost is not initially enthusiastic about working with him.

First off, there’s the fact that Adam and his wife, Ruth (Olivia Williams), are currently hiding out in America because America is one of the few countries that will not extradite him to be prosecuted for war crimes at the International Criminal Court. It seems that Adam (much like Tony Blair) is a controversial figure because of some of the actions he may have authorized as a part of the war on terror. Not only does the Ghost have political objections to working with Adam but he has to leave his London home and go to Massachusetts in order to do so.

Secondly, there’s the fact that, once the Ghost arrives in America, he discovers that — for such a controversial figure — Adam is actually rather boring and seems to have very little knowledge about anything that he did while he was prime minister. Instead, he seems to be more interested in spending time with his mistress (Kim Cattrall, giving the film’s one bad performance). Ruth seems to be the political (and smart) one in the marriage.

And finally, there’s the fact that the Ghost is actually the second writer to have worked with Adam. The previous writer mysteriously drowned. While that death was ruled to be an accident, the Ghost comes to suspect that it was murder and that the motive is hidden in the first writer’s manuscript…

The Ghost Writer is a favorite of mine, a smart and witty political thriller that features great performances from Ewan McGregor, Olivia Williams, and Pierce Brosnan. Brosnan especially seems to be having a lot of fun sending up his dashing, James Bond image. Roman Polanski directs at a fast pace and maintains a perfect atmosphere of growing paranoia throughout the entire film. In the end, The Ghost Writer proudly continues the tradition of such superior paranoia films as The Conversation, Three Days of the Condor, and the Parallax View.

Incidentally, I have a theory that Adam Lang was also the unseen Prime Minister who was featured in Into the Loop. Watching The Ghost Writer, it’s hard not to feel that Adam really feel apart without Malcolm around to help him out.

Shattered Politics #57: Canadian Bacon (dir by Michael Moore)

Posted on February 1, 2015 by Lisa Marie Bowman

I have mixed feelings about the 1995 films Canadian Bacon.

On the one hand, Canadian Bacon is the only non-documentary to have been directed by Michael Moore. And I’m just going to admit right now that I don’t care much for Michael Moore. I think he’s fake. I think he’s the epitome of the type of limousine liberal who exclusively preaches to the converted and who, when all is said and done, does more harm to his causes than good. Just because he doesn’t shave, dresses like a slob, and apparently has never been to a gym, that doesn’t change the fact that he’s worth $50 million dollars. Just because he may claim to be for the workers, that doesn’t keep him from notoriously overworking and underpaying his own employees. Just because he may make films critical of capitalism, that certainly hasn’t stopped him from investing millions in the very same companies that he claims to oppose. And, quite frankly, it’s hard for me to take seriously a man who rails against income inequality when that man happens to own 9 mansions, none of which are exactly housing the homeless right now.

On the other hand, I love Canada! Canada has produced some of my favorite actors. It’s the country that created Degrassi. It’s the home of Lindsay Dianne and the Becoming A Bolder Being blog! Seriously, how can you not love Canada?

In fact, if a war ever broke out between American and Canada, I’m not sure who I’d support. Then again, hopefully Texas will have seceded from the U.S.A. before that happens. I’m keeping fingers crossed about that. Hopefully, once we have seceded, our first action will be to declare war on Vermont. (Not the rest of America, though. Just Vermont.)

The plot of Canadian Bacon is that the President of the United States (Alan Alda) is suffering from low approval ratings so he decides that America needs to find a new country to be enemies with. Mind you, the President doesn’t necessarily want to go to war. Instead, he just wants to have an enemy that he can always be on the verge of going to war with. After a riot breaks out at a hockey game, the President’s advisors realize that Canada would be the perfect enemy!

(And, while this is played for laughs, there actually is a historical precedent here. The War of 1812 was basically a result of America’s desire to conquer Canada.)

Anyway, American airwaves are soon full of anti-Canada propaganda and, since Michael Moore thinks everyone in America is an idiot except for him, gun-toting rednecks are soon preparing to do whatever it takes to defend America. A patriotic sheriff named Boomer (John Candy) decides to invade Canada on his own. Needless to say, things get even more complicated from there and soon a crazy weapons manufacturer (G.D. Spradlin) is plotting to launch a missile attack on Russia and … oh, who cares?

When Canadian Bacon tries to satirize politics and blind patriotism, it falls flat. Michael Moore has somehow earned a reputation for being a satirist but, if you actually look at his work, it quickly becomes apparent that he really doesn’t have much of a sense of humor. The humor in his documentaries is pretty much based on Moore saying, “Look how stupid everyone is except for me!” Since the people who watch Michael Moore documentaries are usually people who already agree with Michael Moore, they naturally find that to be hilarious because they already think anyone who disagrees with them is a joke. However, that doesn’t mean that Moore himself is a comic genius. He’s just a guy telling a joke to an audience that already knows the punchline.

Canadian Bacon is long on righteous indignation but it’s short on anything that would make you want to spend 90 minutes listening to the same point being made over and over again. Moore did make one good decision, in that he selected Rip Torn to play a crazed general. Rip Torn can deliver militaristic insults with the best of them.

The few times that Canadian Bacon actually works is when it gently (as opposed to indignantly) satirizes Canada’s reputation for being the most polite (and most hockey-obsessed) place on Earth. Dan Aykroyd has a great cameo as a Canadian police officer who pulls over Boomer’s truck and politely reprimands him for not including French translations for all of the anti-Canadian graffiti on the side of the vehicle.

Canadian Bacon could have used more scenes like that.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l5l0PD80u9k

Love you, Canada!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8IyxGO4v0yA

Tell Me That You Love My 6 Trailers, Wanda June

Posted on June 4, 2011 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Okay, so after months and months of it being strangely cold and pleasant down here in Texas, this week the temperature suddenly shot up to 100 degrees and everyone’s going outside and mowing their freaking lawns. Which means that it smells like freshly cut grass outside (BLEH!) and every time I step through the front door, my allergies go insane and I end up getting sick! Seriously, I was so sick last night that I ended up staying in for the night and resting, which for some reason my evil sister took as an invitation to attempt to “braid” my hair. Anyway, as I sit here trying to get the tangles out of my hair (ouch!), why not check out the latest edition of Lisa Marie’s Favorite Grindhouse and Exploitation Trailers?

The title of this weekend’s edition, by the way, is a really obvious homage to a film directed by Otto Preminger. And no, it’s not Skidoo.

1) Nightmares (1983)

For some reason, this anthology seems to pop up on TBS, TNT, USA,, and WGN a lot. Actually, is WGN actually a cable station? It sounds made up. Anyway, I hate anthology films. Seriously, they always suck so bad and the people who make them are always so freaking proud of themselves. I mean, seriously — what’s going on with that? Anyway, it seems like every time I come across it, I end up seeing the part where Emilio Estevez gets attacked by the Bishop of Battle.

2) The Wild Beasts (1984)

Yes, I’ve done some research and guess what? This film is Italian! Yay! Anyway, this trailer informs us that somebody has given all the animals at the zoo a “deadly” dose of PCP. Okay, so if it’s a deadly dose, then why do they apparently end up going crazy and attacking humans? I mean, seriously, shouldn’t they be dead?

3) The Principal (1987)

Okay, I first came across the trailer on YouTube many months ago while I was searching for film clips for an abandoned post about teaching-centric grindhouse films. This trailer has, for some reason, become something of an obsession of mine and it’s because I still have some doubts as to whether or not this film actually exists. Because, seriously, the trailer is just like a check list of every cliché that we associate with an out-of-control school thriller. And then it stars Jim Belushi? Seriously, this can’t be a real movie. Except I did some research and apparently, there’s a lot of people who think it is real. And you can order it off of Amazon. Not that I’m planning on doing so because Jim Belushi is just like bleh to me.

4) The Giant Spider Invasion (1975)

Judging from this trailer, an equally appropriate title for this film would have been The Countryass Girls Who Run Around In Their Underwear Invasion. While that may sound like stereotyping, it’s okay because I actually am a countryass girl who runs around in her underwear. Seeing as how we’re always getting victimized in movies like this, I’ve started a support group for us, called Hicks In Panties or HIP for short.

Anyway, I actually have some trouble watching this trailer because — Oh. My. God. — I hate spiders! Like I was talking to a friend of mine once and she told me about this time she was on a horse and she ended up riding right through a spider’s web and I was just like, “Girl, how are you still alive? I’d have to kill myself I’d be so worried about having little spider eggs hatching in my nasal cavities after something like that.” Anyway, she said that didn’t make any sense at all so I think she’s kinda fooling herself.

5) Disco Godfather (1979)

Disco Godfather! This was Rudy Ray Moore’s follow-up to Dolemite. I haven’t seen either one of them but this trailer features two of my favorite things: poetry and dancing!