TV Review: Twin Peaks: The Return Part 15 (dir by David Lynch)

Posted on August 27, 2017 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Why am I posting this review so late? Check out my previous Twin Peaks post for the explanation.

I have to admit that I’m kind of kicking myself for taking so long to watch Part 15 of Twin Peaks. This was one of the best episodes of the revival. It was a deeply intriguing episode, mixing moments of soaring romance with haunting creepiness. In short, this episode was David Lynch and Twin Peaks at their considerable best. Because I’m pressed for time and I need to get this written and posted before Part 16 premieres later tonight, I don’t know if I’ll be able to do full justice to how wonderful this episode was. I’ll try, though. Be sure to check out Ryan’s thoughts on Part 15, as well.

Things begin, as they so often do, with a one-eyed woman and a shovel…

Nadine Hurley (Wendy Robie) walks through Twin Peaks, carrying her golden shovel with her. She stops at Big Ed’s Gas Farm and tells Big Ed (Everett McGill) that she’s changed. She says that she loves Ed but she knows that she’s been a “selfish bitch” and that Ed has “been a saint.” Nadine explains that she’s using her shovel to “dig” herself “out of the shit” and tells Big Ed that she wants him to be with Norma. “True love,” Nadine says, “is about giving others what they need to be happy.”

What follows is Lynch at his most deliriously romantic. Ed drives to the Double R and tells Norma (Peggy Lipton) that he loves her and he wants to marry her. However, Norma is busy conducting one of her corner booth business meetings with Walter (Grant Goodeve). She not only allows Walter to buy her out but she also dumps him. “Family reasons,” she explains before kissing Ed. A song about love plays in the background. The wind blows through the trees. The sun shines through the clouds above. Briefly, all is right with the world of Twin Peaks…

…so, of course, the very next scene is the Doppelganger (Kyle MacLachlan) driving down a dark road. Of course, the Doppelganger is always bad news but, for whatever reason, driving always seems to put him in an even worse mood than usual.

The Doppelganger pulls up at the gas station that, way back in Part 8, we saw taken over by the Woodsmen. (The music playing in the background is “Threnody for the Victims of Hiroshima.”) With electricity crackling all around, the Doppelganger enters the gas station, approaches a woodsman, and says that he is looking for Philip Jeffries. The Doppelganger is led to a dark room that is occupied by a strange metal device. Jeffries’s Southern-accented voice emanates from the device.

Considering the amount of time that these two have apparently spent trying to kill each other, it’s actually a relatively polite conversation. I have to admit that it caught me off guard seeing the Doppelganger asking questions for once. I always assumed the Doppelganger knew everything. (As the Doppelganger and Jeffries talk, Lynch inserts a flashback of David Bowie from Twin Peaks: Fire Walk With Me.) When the Doppelganger asks if Jeffries was the one who called him, Jeffries replies that he does not have the Doppelganger’s number. Jeffries says that he and the Doppelganger used to talk regularly.

“You are Cooper?” Jeffries asks.

“Why didn’t you want to talk about Judy?” the Doppelganger asks, “Who is Judy? What does Judy want from me?”

Jeffries tells the Doppelganger to ask her himself.

Suddenly, a phone rings. The Doppelganger sees an old landline phone in the corner of the room. When the Doppelganger answers, this is a loud surge of static and the Doppelganger suddenly finds himself outside the gas station…

And there’s Richard Horne (Eamon Farren), holding a gun on him and saying that he recognized the Doppelganger from a picture that his mother (who we all know is Audrey) used to carry with her. “You’re FBI!” Richard announces. (He’s probably Richard’s father, as well.) The Doppelganger proceeds to rather easily kick Richard’s ass and then tells him to get in the truck. “We’ll talk on the way,” the Doppelganger explains.

As they drive away, the gas station vanishes.

In the woods around Twin Peaks, Steve (Caleb Landry Jones) and Gersten Hayward (Alicia Witt) are freaking out. Steven has a gun and keeps saying that he did it. “You didn’t do anything!” Gersten says, “you were fucking stoned! What did she give you!?” Steven loads the gun and, as Gersten begs him to stop, he says that he’s going to end it. Steven starts to talk about how much he loves fucking Gersten when suddenly, a guy walking his dog wanders by. Gersten runs and hides behind a tree. Off screen, there is a gunshot. (This short but intense scene features some amazing acting from both Alicia Witt and Caleb Landry Jones.)

At the trailer park, Carl (Harry Dean Stanton) meets with the man who was walking his dog. We see the man point at Steve and Becky’s trailer.

That night, at the Roadhouse, the very excited Emcee (J.R. Starr, who is quickly becoming one of my favorite minor characters) announces that they will be playing “one of our favorites — Sharp Dressed Man by ZZ Top!” He even has a cardboard volume meter to show how excited he is over the song. The Emcee starts to dance along to the song. He’s so adorable!

What’s less adorable is what happens when James (James Marshall) and Freddie (Jake Wardle) are attacked by Chuck (Rod Rowland), who is Renee’s husband. Freddie, who is wearing his power glove, knocks Chuck unconscious with one punch.

In Las Vegas, Agent Wilson (Owen Rhys-Davies) tells Agent Headley (Jay R. Ferguson) that he’s brought in another Douglas Jones for interrogation. Apparently, Wilson and Headley are just tracking down everyone named Douglas Jones who lives in Vegas. However, as quickly becomes apparent when Headley goes down to the interrogation room, they have yet to track down our Dougie Jones.

Elsewhere in Vegas, Chantal (Jennifer Jason Leigh) assassinates both Duncan Todd (Patrick Fischler) and Roger (Joe Adler). Afterwards, she and Hutch (Tim Roth) eat out in their car and casually discuss the pros and cons of torture.

Back in Twin Peaks, both James and Freddie are led to a jail cell. Interestingly, the last time we saw James arrested was in the Pilot. James was put in a cell with Bobby Briggs (Dana Ashbrook). This time, it’s Bobby leading James to the cell.

Back in Vegas, our Dougie (Kyle MacLachlan) eats a piece of cake and watches Sunset Boulevard on television. When he hears Cecil B. DeMille mention the name “Gordon Cole,” Dougie responds by crawling across the floor and sticking his fork into an electrical socket.

(It’s interesting to note that, in the scene from Sunset Boulevard, DeMille and Gloria Swanson — in the role of Norma Desmond — were talking about getting everyone back together again and making another picture, despite the fact that Hollywood had changed quite a bit since Desmond’s heyday. In many ways, that’s exactly what David Lynch is doing with Twin Peaks: The Return.)

In Twin Peaks, The Log Lady (Catherine E. Coulson) calls Hawk (Michael Horse) one last time and tells him that she is dying. “You know about death,” she says, “that it’s just a change. Not an end. It’s time. There’s some fear, some fear in letting go. Remember what I told you. I can’t say more over the phone. But you know what I mean, for our talks, when we were able to speak face to face. Watch for that one, the one I told you about, the one under the moon on Blue Pine Mountain. Hawk, my log is turning gold. The wind is moaning. I’m dying. Goodnight, Hawk.”

“Goodnight, Margaret,” Hawk replies, “Goodbye, Margaret.”

Later, Hawk tells Andy (Harry Goaz), Lucy (Kimmy Robertson), and Truman (Robert Forster) that “Margaret Lanterman passed away tonight.”

“The Log Lady’s dead?” Lucy replies, and there’s something so heart-breaking about the way Robertson delivers this line.

(It’s made even more heart-breaking by the fact that Coulson died shortly after filming her scenes for the revival. This episode is not only about the residents of Twin Peaks saying goodbye to Margaret Lanterman. It’s also about Lynch saying goodbye to his longtime friend, Catherine Coulson.)

Meanwhile, Charlie (Clark Middleton) and Audrey (Sherilyn Fenn) continue to argue about going to the Roadhouse to look for Billy. Audrey complains about the way that Charlie talks to her. Billy never talks to her like that.

“I am Charlie,” Charlie says, “and he is Billy.”

“Yes,” Audrey replies, “and I like Billy better.”

“Sensational,” Charlie replies.

They argue a bit more. Audrey eventually ends up pouncing on Charlie while screaming, “I hate you! Do you realize how much I fucking hate you!”

At the Roadhouse, the Veils sing a song about drugs. A woman, Ruby (Charlyne Yi), sits in a booth. When two men tell her to move, she replies that she’s waiting someone. The men literally lift her out of the booth and drop her on the floor. Ruby crawls across the dance floor and screams.

The end credits role over an image of that gas station siting in the middle of nowhere. “Dedicated to Margaret Lanterman” the final credit reads.

Margaret Lanterman (a.k.a. The Log Lady)

Only three more episodes (and, because the final two are being shown on the same night, only two weeks) left! That makes me sad. I’m going to miss Twin Peaks.

Twin Peaks on TSL:

24 Initial Thoughts About Twin Peaks The Return Part 15 (dir by David Lynch)

Posted on August 27, 2017 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Obviously, I’m running very far behind when it comes to watching and reviewing Part 15 of Twin Peaks: The Return. Erin and I spent last weekend up at Lake Texoma so I set the DVR to record Part 15 so that I could watch it once we returned. However, this has been the craziest week and, as ashamed as I am to admit it, I just didn’t get a chance to sit down and watch Part 15 until around four this morning.

So, forgive the lateness of this review. Fortunately, the Trashfilm Guru watched and reviewed Part 15 when it aired and you can read his review by clicking here. As for me, despite being a week late with this review, I’m going to follow my usual format. I’m going to post the initial thoughts that I had while watching the latest episode for the first time and then I’m going to rewatch Part 15 and write out a full recap sometime later today (hopefully, before Part 16 airs later tonight on Showtime!).

As I watched the opening credits, I found myself thinking about the fact that, not counting this one, there’s only three episodes left. I no longer worry about whether or not the show’s “story” is going to reach any sort of resolution. That’s really not what Twin Peaks is about.
Do you think Nadine just carries that shovel with her everywhere?
Admit it. At least once in your life, you’ve wished that you had a golden shovel that you could use to dig your way out of the shit.
Oh my God, this scene between Norma and Big Ed…so beautifully performed and directed.
And then to go from the grand romanticism of Norma and Ed to the nihilistic hatred that is symbolized by the Doppelganger. It’s quite a contrast. The brilliance of Lynch can be found in his ability to create a world where both romance and evil feel absolutely natural.
The scene where the Doppelganger talks to Jeffries is exceptionally creepy, even by the standards of Twin Peaks.
Oh fuck you, Richard Horne. You couldn’t even intimidate Red. What the Hell do you think you’re going to be able to do against the Doppelganger?
Of course, I think we’ve all pretty much figured out that the Doppelganger is Richard’s father.
C’mon, Gersten! You can do better than Steven!
As I listened to Steven blame everything on being stoned, I wondered if he was buying his weed from Jerry Horne.
I don’t know if David Lynch is planning on ever doing another television series after this (probably not) but if he does, might I suggest a show where Carl Rodd travels across America and gets involved in the lives of random strangers?
Am I the only one fascinated by J.R. Starr’s performance as the Roadhouse’s emcee?
I guess that takes care of Duncan Todd. Too bad about Roger.
James is in jail with a bunch of people making weird noises. Some things never change.
Sunset Boulevard!
It was nice of this episode to acknowledge that the name Gordon Cole was taken from Sunset Boulevard. The original series also featured an insurance agent named Walter Neff.
Agck! Did Dougie just electrocute himself?
This final scene between Hawk and the Log Lady is heartbreaking, both because the Log Lady was such an iconic character (for many people, she was the ultimate symbol of the show’s sensibility) and that Catherine E. Coulson herself passed away shortly after filming her scenes. Coulson worked on Lynch’s very first film, Eraserhead. She was also once married to Jack Nance, who played Pete Martell on the first two seasons of Twin Peaks.
It’s said that, during the making of Eraserhead, Lynch looked at Coulson and told her that he had just had a vision of her holding a log and that someday, he would write a role for her where she would do just that. That’s an apocryphal story that I hope is true.
Kimmy Robertson’s delivery of the line: “The Log Lady’s dead?” was one of the best moments of the entire season.
Am I the only one who wants Cooper to get back to normal so that he can go to Twin Peaks and beat up Charlie?
Tonight’s musical guest: The Veils. The Roadhouse gets all the best performers.
Oh my God, the screaming! When that woman started screaming, our cat jumped off the couch and went ran from the room.
Okay. time to get an hour or two of sleep and then I’ll be back to rewatch Part 15 and post a full recap.

Twin Peaks on TSL:

TV Review: Twin Peaks: The Return Part 13 (dir by David Lynch)

Posted on August 6, 2017 by Lisa Marie Bowman

There are only five hours left in Twin Peaks: The Return and yet, there are still many mysteries to be resolved. Considering that this is a David Lynch production, it’s entirely possible and probably rather probable that a good deal of those mysteries will never be resolved.

That said, all of the disparate elements of Twin Peaks: The Return have slowly been coming together, providing evidence — if any was needed — that Lynch knows exactly what he’s doing. In some ways, tonight’s episode was Twin Peaks at its most straightforward. And yet, nothing can ever be totally straight forward when it comes to Twin Peaks.

We wouldn’t want it any other way.

Tonight’s episode begins with joyful music playing in Las Vegas. As Anthony Sinclair (Tom Sizemore) watches from his office, the Mitchum Brothers (James Belushi and Robert Knepper) dance down the hallways. The three ladies in pink are with them. And so is … Dougie Jones (Kyle MacLachlan), the man who Anthony was supposed to trick the Mitchums into killing!

The Mitchums have come to see Bushnell Mullins (Don Murray) and they’ve brought him gifts, all to thank him for introducing them to Dougie and for helping them to make money off of that insurance claim. “A wrong has been made right and the sun is shining bright!” Bradley Mitchum declares.

Meanwhile, in his office, Anthony calls Duncan Todd (Patrick Fischler) and tells him that Dougie is still alive. Todd replies that it’s now Anthony’s responsibility to kill Dougie and he only had one day to do it, not the two days that he promised earlier.

The generosity of the Mitchums continues as both a new car and a jungle gym are delivered to Dougie’s house. It’s quite a jungle gym as well. It’s big, it’s lit up with neon, and everything about it just screams Vegas. Sonny Jim (Pierce Gagnon) is quite happy. So is Janey-E (Naomi Watts), which is good. They deserve some happiness.

The next morning, in Montana, the evil Doppelganger Cooper arrives at a compound called The Farm. Ray (George Griffith) has been hiding out at the Farm with Renzo (Derek Mears) and his men. When they see the Doppelganger pull up, Ray comments that he killed the Doppelganger. “You didn’t kill him too good, Ray,” Renzo replies.

Anyway, Ray volunteers to kill the Doppelganger a second time but it turns out that Renzo is something of an arm wrestling fanatic. Renzo explains that if the Doppelganger can beat him, he’ll get control of the Farm and Renzo’s entire crew. The only catch is that Renzo has never been defeated. The Doppelganger says he doesn’t want the farm, he just wants Ray.

Over The Top

The arm wrestling goes about how you would imagine it would go — Renzo ends up getting his arm broken and then his face literally smashed in by one punch from the Doppelganger. As for Ray, he confesses that it was Phillip Jeffries who hired him to kill the Doppelganger. Ray explains that he never met Jeffries, he just talked to him on the phone. Jeffries told Ray that the Doppelganger had something inside of him that “they” wanted. (Killer BOB, perhaps? BOB was seen directly inside of the Doppelganger during Part 8.) Ray holds up a ring that he was supposed to put on the Doppelganger’s finger. Ray says that he got it from a prison guard right before they escaped. The Doppelganger makes Ray put on the ring. Ray then gives the Doppelganger a piece of paper with the coordinates that he says he got from Bill Hastings and his secretary (that would be Ruth Davenport). The Doppelganger asks Ray where Phillip Jeffries is. Ray says Philip is at a place called “The Dutchman’s.” The Doppelganger proceeds to shoot Ray in the face.

And guess whose watching all of this unfold? Richard Horne (Eamon Farren)! Apparently, ever since fleeing Twin Peaks, Richard has been hiding out in Montana. So, does that mean that the Farm and the late Renzo had a connection to Red? If so, how is Red going to react to the Doppelganger killing Renzo and becoming The Farm’s new boss? And does Richard looked so shocked because he never thought anyone would ever beat Renzo at arm wrestling (not to mention kill him) or is it because he realizes that the Doppelganger is probably his father?

Ray’s body appears inside the Black Lodge. MIKE (Al Strobel) takes the ring and puts it on a marble table.

Back at the Las Vegas Metropolitan Police HQ, something weird’s going on in the background. We can hear a woman yelling as she apparently defecates on the floor. She’s tased and screams, “I want to report a cop!” Sitting in their office, the Fuscos aren’t too concerned. It doesn’t even bother them when they receive a report that Dougie has the same fingerprints as both an escapee from a South Dakota prison and a missing FBI agent. They laugh and throw the report away.

They barely notice as Anthony Sinclair wanders through the station, looking for Detective Clark (John Savage). Clark is outside smoking a cigarette and he doesn’t appear to be very enthusiastic about the prospect of talking to Anthony. Anthony asks Clark for the name of a good poison, one that would be undetectable. Apparently, Clark also works for Duncan Todd. Clark agrees to help Anthony get the poison.

In South Dakota, Chantal (Jennifer Jason Leigh) and Hutch (Tim Roth) drive down the interstate and, as they enter Utah, discuss what it must be like to be a Mormon.

The next morning, after Janey-E drops him off at work, Dougie runs into Anthony. A nervous Anthony offers to buy Dougie a cup of coffee at the pastry shop. Since Dougie is obsessed with coffee, he agrees. When Dougie gets distracted by a cheery pie in a display case and stands up to go stare at it, Anthony puts the poison in Dougie’s coffee.

When Dougie returns to the table, he is distracted by the dandruff on the back of Anthony’s suit. Dougie places his hands on Anthony shoulders. Mistaking this for a sign of friendship, Anthony breaks down into tears and shouts that he never meant to hurt anyone. He pours out Dougie’s poisoned coffee. Dougie responds by drinking Anthony’s coffee instead.

In Twin Peaks, at the Double R, Shelley (Madchen Amick) gets a call from Becky (Amanda Seyfried). Becky’s in tears. Steven, the man she tried to shoot, hasn’t come home in two days.

Back in Vegas, Anthony sits in Bushnell’s office and says that he’s come to confess. Standing to the side, Dougie blankly repeats, “Confess.” Anthony confesses to Bushnell that he’s been working for Duncan Todd and that he’s been lying to Bushnell for years. Bushnell says that Dougie revealed all of this to him yesterday. Bushnell asks if Anthony is prepared to testify against Duncan Todd. Anthony says that he is.

Bushnell asks if Anthony is willing to testify “against the two cops that Dougie found.”

“He know about them too!?” Anthony says.

“Them too,” Dougie blankly repeats.

Anthony says he only wants to fix the mess that he made. He says that Dougie saved his like. “Thanks, Dougie!”

“Thank Dougie,” Dougie says.

In tears, Anthony does just that.

At the Double R, Norma (Peggy Lipton) has a meeting with the somewhat oily Walter Lawford (Grant Goodeve). Apparently, Norma’s Double R is a franchise now. Walter says that there are several profitable locations in Washington State but Norma is concerned that those locations are using inferior ingredients. Walter argues that it makes good business sense to cut costs. This entire scene, of course, feels like Lynch’s commentary on the studio executives who constantly tried to interfere with Twin Peaks the first time around.

Norma and Walter are apparently a couple, as well. As they talk, they are watched by both Deputy Bobby Briggs (Dana Ashbrook) and Big Ed Hurley (Everett McGill), Norma’s former (?) lover and the husband of Nadine (Wendy Robie).

Speaking of Nadine, she is leaving her silent drape store when who should show up but Dr. Jacoby (Russ Tamblyn)! As we’ve already seen, Nadine is a huge fan of Jacoby’s podcast. She even has her own golden shovel hanging in the window of her store. Dr. Jacoby says that the last time he saw Nadine, she was on her hands and knees, looking for a potato.

At the Palmer House, Sarah (Grace Zabrikie) is drunk and watching a boxing match. Or, actually, I should say that she’s watching 30 second of a boxing match on a continious loop. The announcer says, several times: “Oh the right hand catches the big guy by the ear! And he finally goes down, hanging on the ropes. Oh, the gentleman asks if he’s okay. Look like, uh, round number one and two on the way. Now, it’s a boxing match again.”

Elsewhere, Audrey (Sherilyn Fenn) yells at Charlie (Clark Middleton). An emotional Audrey says that she feels like she’s somewhere else, like she’s not sure who she is. Charlie says, “This is Existentialism 101.” Audrey’s not amused and demands to know what she’s supposed to do if she can’t trust anyone and she’s not sure who she is. Charlie replies that she’s supposed to go to the Roadhouse and look for Billy. Audrey demands to know where the Roadhouse is.

“Are you going to stop playing games?” Charlie asks, “or am I going to have to end your story, too?”

Audrey starts to cry.

At the Roadhouse, none other than James Hurley (James Marshall) performs the song You and I. Accompanying him are two backup singers who look like they could be Donna and Maddy. Considering that the scene during the second season, in which James, Donna, and Maddy performed You And I, is regularly ridiculed by even the show’s biggest fans, you have to wonder if David Lynch is doing some deliberate trolling here. Well, it does’t matter. It’s a lovely song, one that perfectly captures the aching feeling of loss that runs through every minute of Twin Peaks: The Return.

At the gas station, Big Ed Hurley sits alone, staring at his gas pumps.

And that’s how Part 13 ends.

Twin Peaks on TSL:

TV Review: Twin Peaks: The Return Parts One and Two (dir by David Lynch) (SPOILERS)

Posted on May 22, 2017 by Lisa Marie Bowman

As I sit here working on my recap of the first two episodes of Showtime’s revival of Twin Peaks, it’s occurring to me that this is not going to be an easy job. Last month, when Leonard, Jeff, and I were reviewing the show’s first two seasons, we had the advantage of knowing where the story was leading. We knew what would be important and what was a red herring.

With this revival, we no longer have that luxury. I have no idea where this show is going. All I know, for sure, is that David Lynch has given us 18 hours of new material. It’s not necessarily going to be easy to review the revival. I can already tell that. From what I’ve heard and read, it appears that Lynch approached this less as a TV series and more as an 18-hour movie. I’ve already noticed that several reviewers are already overplaying the “Twin Peaks is weird” angle. David Lynch may be a surrealist but there is always a definite logic to all of his work. You just have to have the patience to find it and I imagine that’ll be the case with Twin Peaks: The Return as well.

I’ve already shared my initial thoughts on the first two episodes and Ryan The TrashFilm Guru has posted a review of his own. What follows below is a more in-depth recap of what we saw last night. Needless to say, if you haven’t seen the first two episodes of the revival yet, this entire post is one huge spoiler. So, read it at your own risk!

Okay — ready?

Let’s go!

We start where we left, with a clip from 27 years ago. In the Black Lodge, Laura Palmer (Sheryl Lee) tells Dale Cooper (Kyle MacLachlan) that she will see him in 25 years.

Cut to Twin Peaks, the town that we all know and love. The trees are still shrouded in fog. The high school hallways are empty. Laura Palmer’s homecoming queen picture still sits in the trophy case. The title appears. Angelo Badalamenti’s haunting theme music starts to play. We see the waterfall. We read the opening credits. Twin Peaks is back.

In the Black Lodge, a much older Giant (Carel Struycken) talks to an aged Cooper. The inhabitants of the Lodge still speak backwards and we are still provided with subtitles so that we can follow what they’re saying. Cooper still speaks in his normal voice, indicating that he may be trapped in the Lodge but he has yet to truly become a part of it. The Giant tells Cooper to listen to the sounds and looks over at an old-fashioned phonograph. “It is in our house now,” the Giant says. “Remember Four Three Zero. Richard and Linda. Two birds with one stone.”

“I understand,” Cooper says. (I’m glad someone does.)

Cut to a trailer sitting in the middle of nowhere. A pickup truck drives up. The truck has two cardboard boxes in the bed. Dr. Jacoby (Russ Tamblyn) comes out of the trailer and gets the boxes. What’s inside the boxes? Shovels, of course! Jacoby certainly does seem to be happy to have them. Maybe he’s still looking for that necklace that Donna and James buried 25 years ago…

Cut to New York City. Sam Colby (Ben Rosenfield) has a new job. He sits on a couch in a room and he watches a black box that is sitting inside of a glass box. His job is to see if anything happens in the box and to make sure that there is always a camera filming the box. There’s a guard posted outside of the room. Sam’s friend, Tracey (Madeline Zima), is allowed to bring him coffee but she’s not allowed to enter the room or see the boxes. The sight of Sam sitting in that room, staring at that box, reminded me of the scenes with Michael Anderson as the man who controlled Hollywood in Mulholland Drive. As creepy as that box may have been, it was the stillness of this scene that made me nervous. Sam seemed remarkably uninterested in why exactly he had to watch the box and that lack of curiosity struck me as odd and just a little depressing.

Cut to … oh my God, we’re back at the Great Northern! And there’s Ben Horne (Richard Beymer)! He’s in his office and he’s leering at his new secretary, Barbara (Ashley Judd). It’s just like old times and, of course, it’s nice to see that Ben survived striking his head on the fireplace mantle 25 years ago. That said, Ben appears to have given up on being a do-gooder. He’s back to obsessing over money. Jerry (David Patrick Kelly) drops by for a visit and reveals that, since Washington legalized marijuana, he’s made a fortune. Way to go, Jerry!

Cut to the Sheriff’s Department and there’s Lucy (Kimmy Robertson)! An insurance salesman comes in and asks to see Sheriff Truman. Lucy asks him if he wants to see the Sheriff Truman who is sick or the Sheriff Truman who is out of the office. Neither one is available.

Cut to a country road. Someone is driving down the street while listening to evil music. The driver is none other than … Agent Cooper? Well, it kind of looks like Agent Cooper but it’s not Cooper. For one thing, this guy has long, greasy hair and doesn’t wear a dark suit. He also doesn’t smile. He has cold, dead eyes. For another thing, he parks next to a shack and beats up a redneck, which is not exactly Agent Cooper behavior. Then he goes inside, where he meets Buelah and Otis. He tells them that he has come to pick up Ray (George Griffith) and Darya (Nicole LaLiberte). I don’t remember Agent Cooper having such an affinity for white trash…

Oh wait! That’s not Agent Cooper! That must be Cooper’s Doppelganger!

Meanwhile, back in New York, Tracey shows up with more coffee. She and Sam are shocked to discover that the guard has left his post. This means that Tracey can now go into the room and see the mysterious box for herself! It also means that she and Sam can have some fun on the couch. While they do, Sam suddenly sees that the inside of the glass box has turned black. Suddenly, what appears to be a demonic creature appears in the box. It springs through the glass and, in a scene that leaves no doubt that this is Showtime Twin Peaks and not ABC Twin Peaks, it literally rips Sam and Tracey into pieces.

Along with giving me a good fright, this scene made me sad because I thought Sam and Tracey were a cute couple. The reviewer at TVLine complained about Sam and Tracey and the actors playing them and I really have to wonder what show he watched because, to me, both Ben Rosenfield and Madeline Zima were likable and sympathetic in their brief time on screen. Then again, the TVLine recapper also managed to confuse Bobby Briggs and James Hurley so we know he’s not a true Twin Peaks fan.

I should also mention that this scene, with hints of the demons flickering in the darkness before the sudden attack, reminded me of the infamous “there’s an evil man behind the dumpster” scene from Mulholland Drive.

Cut to Buckhorn, South Dakota. We’re confronted with a very Lynchian image. A fat woman walks a tiny dog down the hallway of an apartment building. She stops when she smells a terrible stench coming from the neighbor’s apartment. She calls the police, worried that her neighbor Ruth Davenport may be dead.

The police arrive and it takes them forever to find a key to open up the apartment. This is one of those sequences that Lynch loves, the sequence were a simple task is made progressively more and more difficult by awkward minutia. The neighbor doesn’t know if there’s a manager available but then remembers that the manager’s been committed to an asylum. However, the manager’s brother might have the key. But she doesn’t know where the brother is but the brother’s friend, Hank Filmore (Max Perlich), might know. Hank does know but he refuses to tell and then the neighbor suddenly mentions that she has an extra key to the apartment. When the police finally get inside the apartment, they discover the naked remains of Ruth Davenport in bed. Her eyes have been removed and her head has been disconnected from her body.

Continuing the Mulholland Drive comparison, the discovery of Ruth’s body was shot in much the same way as the discovery of Diane Selwyn’s body in Mulholland Drive. As well, Brent Briscoe played a detective in Mulholland Drive and he plays one in Twin Peaks as well, leading the investigation into Ruth’s murder.

Cut back to Twin Peaks. The Log Lady (Catherine Coulson) calls Deputy Hawk (Michael Horse), who is now Deputy Chief Hawk and who is in charge while Sheriff Truman is gone. The Log Lady tells Hawk that her log has a message. “Something is different and you have to find it,” she tells him. “It has to do with Federal Agent Dale Cooper and with your heritage. This is the message of the log.”

(Coulson died shortly after filming her scenes here and her frailty make her scenes here unexpectedly poignant. As she talks to Hawk, it’s obvious that both of them know that this could be their last conversation.)

Back in South Dakota, Detective Dave is informed that one man’s finger prints have been found all over Ruth’s apartment. The finger prints belonged to Bill Hastings (Matthew Lillard), a respected high school principal. As his shocked wife, Phyllis (Cornelia Guest), watches, Bill is arrested and charged with murder. “But the Morgans are coming to dinner!” Phyllis shouts as Dave leads Bill away.

Back at the Twin Peaks Sheriff’s Department, Hawk, Lucy, and Andy (Harry Goaz) gather in the conference room. Hawk order them to look through all the files on the disappearance as Dale Cooper. Lucy says that Cooper disappeared 24 years ago and then mentions that her son is 24 years old. “He was born on the same day as Marlon Brando,” Lucy says.

Back in South Dakota, Dave is interrogating Bill. When Dave asks Bill if he’s ever heard of Ruth Davenport, Bill says that he only knew her in passing. He denies having ever been to Ruth’s apartment but, when he says it, he nervously glances around the room. Is Bill hiding something or is he just nervous as anyone who has been arrested — whether guilty or innocent — would be? It turns out that Bill can’t account for where he was during every minute of the previous night. Dave jots down some notes on a legal pad. That’s never good. Bill wants a lawyer. Dave says that lawyer is on the way but he also asks if there’s anything else Bill would like to add “before we get a lawyer involved.” At this point, I was yelling at the screen, “Stop talking! The police are not your friends!” Dave immediately proved my point by accusing Bill of murder and then taking him to a jail cell.

Dave and the cops then go back to the Hastings house, the time with a search warrant. While the police search his car, Bill sits in his jail cell and probably wonders why he hasn’t been allowed to see his lawyer yet.

Suddenly, Dave arrives with Phyllis. Phyllis steps into the cell and tells Bill that they’re not going to give him bail. Bill says that he was never in Ruth’s apartment but that he had a dream the night that she was killed. “Fuck you!” Phyllis sanps, “you fucking bastard!” She reveals that she knows that Bill was cheating on her with Ruth. Bill shouts back that he knows about Phyllis and someone named George. Phyllis taunts him. “You’re going down. Life in prison.”

After Phyllis leaves, Bill sits in his cell. Little does he know that, three cells down, a shadowy man is sitting on a bed. The shadow slowly fades away, becoming a wisp of smoke that eventually dissipates in the air.

Phyllis arrives home. Doppelganger Cooper is waiting for her. Phyllis smiles and asks what he’s doing there. Doppelganger Cooper replies that Phyllis did a good job duplicating human nature and then shoots her in the head.

Cut to Las Vegas, Nevada. A man in an office (Patrick Fischler, who also played the man who had a morbid — and justifiable fear — of the dumpster behind the diner in Mulholland Drive) talks to his associate Roger about a mysterious figure who “uses” him. “You better hope you never have someone like him in your life,” the man says.

Cut to a diner in South Dakota, where Doppelganger Cooper has an awkward dinner with Ray and Darya. Doppelganger Cooper tells Ray that he doesn’t “need anything.” However, he does want things. Ray kind of smirks. Doppelganger Cooper explains that what he wants is information.

Cut to Ghostwood Forest. Equipped with a flashlight, Hawk walks. He gets a call from the Log Lady. “The stars turn,” she tells hm, “and a time presents itself.” The Log Lady says she wishes she could go with Hawk but then tells him to stop by. She has coffee and pie for him. Hawks says he will, as he approaches Glastonbury Grove, which once served as the entrance into the Black Lodge.

Speaking of the Black Lodge, Cooper is still sitting in the waiting room. He has been joined by MIKE (Al Strobel), the one-armed man. “Is it the future or is it the past?” MIKE asks before saying that someone has come to see Cooper.

Enter Laura Palmer (Sheryl Lee), still wearing the black dress from the last time that we saw her but definitely no longer a teenager. (Of course, this is because 25 years has passed not only on the show but in real life as well. Still, in the world of Twin Peaks, it’s interesting that time passes in The Black Lodge and people continue to age, even after they die.) Cooper and Laura recite some of the same dialogue from the dream that Cooper had during the third episode of the first season of Twin Peaks.

When Laura says, “I am Laura Palmer,” Cooper replies that Laura is dead.

“I am dead,” Laura says, “yet I live.”

Laura opens her face like a door, revealing a bright white light.

“When can I go?” Cooper asks as Laura closes her face.

Laura kisses Cooper and then, just as she did in the original dream, she starts to whisper in his ear while the aged Cooper smiles.

Suddenly, the curtains shake and Laura screams. Something appears to yank her into the air and she vanishes. A wind blow through the lodge and suddenly, the curtain disappear. The same white horse that, 25 years earlier, appeared to Sarah Palmer now appears to Cooper.

Suddenly, Cooper is back in the waiting room and MIKE is again asking if it is the past or the future.

MIKE leads Cooper into another room, one that is inhabited by a tree that has what appears to be a perfectly smooth brain sitting atop of it. MIKE says that the tree is his arm. The tree starts to speak to Cooper. It asks if Cooper remembers his doppelgänger. Cooper does and we get a flashback to this still powerful scene:

The tree explains that before Cooper can go out, the Doppelganger must return to the Black Lodge.

Meanwhile, in South Dakota, the Doppelganger is busy killing people. First he kills a business associate and then he returns to his motel and confronts Darya with the knowledge that someone hired her and Ray to kill him. Darya says that she doesn’t know who hired them and puts all of the blame on Ray. The Doppelganger reveals that he’s supposed to go back to the Black Lodge but he’s not planning on returning. Then, in a disturbing and deeply unpleasant scene that I personally felt went on a bit too long, the Doppelganger beats and then murders Darya.

Having killed Darya, the Doppelganger places a phone call to Philip Jeffries, the FBI agent who was played by David Bowie in Twin Peaks: Fire Walk With Me. They have a cryptic conversation. Philip says that the Doppelganger should be in New York and then says that the Doppelganger met with Major Garland Briggs. “How did you know that!?” the Doppelganger demands. “I just called to say goodbye,” Philip says.

The Doppelganger downloads the plans for Yankton Federal Prison and then walks down to another motel room. There he is greeted by Chantel (Jennifer Jason Leigh!). He tells Chantel that he needs her to go “clean up” the other room. Chantel is more than happy to do it.

At the Black Lodge, Cooper continues to stare at the tree. The tree says that Cooper can go but when Cooper goes out to the hallway, he finds that he still cannot pass through the curtains and back into our world. Cooper continues to walk through the Lodge until he discovers Leland Palmer (Ray Wise) sitting in a leather chair.

“Find Laura,” Leland says.

Suddenly, MIKE and the Tree appear again. MIKE says something is wrong. The tree says to find the Doppelganger. Cooper continues to walk around the lodge. (Is this all he’s been doing for the past 25 years?) He finally manages to open the curtains and finds himself watching as his Doppelganger drives down a desert road. Suddenly, the tree appears and starts lashing out at him with its limbs.

“Non-existent!” the tree snaps.

Cooper falls through the floor of the Lodge. Suddenly, he’s in the glass box in New York. And he can see Tracey and Sam having the same conversation that they had before they were killed by the weird demon creature. (Is time looping back on itself, in much the same way that it did at the end of Lost Highway with Bill Pullman telling his future self that “Dick Laurent is dead?”)

Suddenly, Cooper is falling again.

In Twin Peaks, Sarah Palmer (Grace Zabriskie) sits alone in the Palmer House, drinking, smoking, and watching one of those traumatic nature documentaries where predators eat their prey in closeup.

At the Roadhouse, the Chromatics are singing a beautifully dream-like song. Shelley (Madchen Amick) is sitting at a booth with a group of friends. She says she’s worried about her daughter, Becky. Suddenly, they see that James Hurley (James Marshall) has entered the bar and is now looking over at them.

“What’s wrong with that guy?” one of them says.

“There’s nothing wrong with that guy!” Shelley says, “He was in a motorcycle accident but he’s just quiet. He’s always been cool.”

And it’s such a sweet scene, even if it does feel a bit odd since Shelley and James didn’t even seem to know each other during the original series. I found myself wondering if Shelley is now married to Bobby Briggs. If James ends up stealing Shelley away (and that certainly seems a possibility, especially with Lara Flynn Boyle not coming back to reprise the role of Donna Hayward), this will be the second time Bobby has lost a lover to James.

(By the way, both James Marshall and Madchen Amick have aged wonderfully. If anything, James Marshall is far more handsome now than he was during the first two seasons of the show.)

There was also some excitement online when Walter Olkewicz appeared as the bartender at the roadhouse. Could it be, we all wondered, that Jacques Renault was once again alive!? Well, no. According to the credits, Olkewicz was playing Jean-Michel Renault. Apparently, he’s the fourth Renault brother.

And that’s how this perplexing episode ends. The Chromatics perform on the Roadhouse while two of our favorite characters acknowledge each other. At times, I loved this episode. At times, I was frustrated. However, I was always intrigued and this ending — this wonderfully sentimental little moment between Shelley and James — was the perfect way to cap it all off.

Do I understand everything that happened tonight? No, but it doesn’t matter. I can’t wait to see where Lynch is taking us next.

Review: Piranha 3-D (directed by Alexandre Aja)

Posted on August 21, 2010 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Yesterday, I had two concerns about going to see the new horror film, Piranha 3-D.

First off, I know that 3-D has been hailed as “the future of movies” and that apparently, Webster’s is considering whether to recognize 3Dgasm (which is the response that certain film goers have to 3-D regardless of whether the movie itself is actually good or if it’s just Avatar) for inclusion in the next edition of the dictionary. However, 3-D often makes me sick to my stomach and I mean that literally. 3-D makes me feel car sick. Considering that I love movies, if 3-D is the “future” than I’m probably being punished for something. That’s right. Avatar was just a result of my bad karma.

As for the second concern, I can’t swim and I am terrified of being underwater. Hanging onto the edge while wading in the shallow side of my uncle’s swimming pool is about as submerged as I can get without having a major freak out. It’s not just drowning that scares me. When I was 17, my family spent the summer in Hawaii and my sisters (being the meanies that they are) had a lot of fun with the fact that I’d spend hours lying out on the beach but I refused to even step into the ocean. It made sense to me. There were jellyfish and sharks and those weird little black coil things just floating around in the ocean. Thanks to seeing Piranha 3-D, I now know that there are also cute little fish that will eat you.

I dealt with my fear of the water by asking my sister Erin (who can actually swim because she’s cool and I’m not) to see the movie with me and to keep me calm if I started to have a panic attack. She agreed and she did an admirable job. She also helped me deal with my fear of 3-D when, during the coming attractions, she said, “Why don’t you take a Dramamine?” Now, according to Erin, the only reason she said this was because apparently I was “going on and on” about it. That’s not how I remember it but I just happened to have some Dramamine in my purse and I quickly popped a few.

If you’ve ever taken Dramamine then you know the way that it works is by basically kicking your ass until you pass out for a few hours. (I occasionally resort to using it whenever I’m getting hit with insomnia.) Within minutes of taking it, the Dramamine was saying, “Sleep, Lisa…” “But I want to see the movie,” I replied. “That wasn’t a request,” the pill responded. “Dammit, will you two shut up!?” Erin snapped. (That may have not actually happened.)

The point of all this is that I stayed awake through the entire movie, despite having taken the most powerful sleeping pill in existence. True, my mind did go a little bit goofy (Erin says I was “babbling” through the entire film) but it never shut down. That’s the type of movie Piranha 3-D is. The story moves so quickly and the mayhem is so over-the-top and excessive that the brain never gets a chance to relax enough to check out.

Piranha 3-D begins with an earthquake in Arizona. The earthquake opens up a passageway to an underground lake. As look would have it, the underground lake is full of a bunch of prehistoric piranha. These piranha quickly move up to an above-ground lake where they promptly eat Richard Dreyfuss. Having gotten a taste of Dreyfuss, they apparently decide to eat every other human being they come across and who can blame them?

Actually, the bloody and graphic demise of Richard Dreyfuss was the first clue I had that this film was going to work. Needless to say, Dreyfuss is the last surviving star of the original killer fish movie, Jaws. In Jaws, Dreyfuss is plays a character named Matt Hooper. In Piranha, he’s just named Matt. By introducing him and then promptly killing him off, Piranha lets us know that it understands the legacy of previous horror blockbusters (like Jaws) but that it has no intention of respecting it. In other words, this scene lets us know early on that the film is on the side of the fish.

Anyway, it turns out that its spring break and as a result, Lake Victoria, Arizona is full of stupid, drunken college students who are determined to hang out in the water no matter how many people get eaten. Sheriff Julie Forrester (Elisabeth Shue) struggles to maintain order on the streets with the help of her loyal deputy (a very likeable Ving Rhames). Julie is also a single mother and, the morning after ol’ Richard Dreyfuss gets devoured, her oldest son Jake (Steven R. McQueen, grandson of the star of Enemy of the People) blows off his baby-sitting duties and agrees to help sleazy Derrick Jones (Jerry O’Connell) film the latest installment of Girls Gone Wild on the lake. Sleazy, speedo-clad Derrick (and the fact that O’Connell looks really good in it doesn’t make that red speedo any less ludicrous) attempts to initiate Kelly (Jessica Szhor), the “good” girl who Jake likes into the world of straight-to-video, jailbait porn. Kelly, by the way, kinda has a boyfriend, a guy named Todd who will eventually end up killing a lot of people with a motorboat. Even before this, we know he’s a bad guy because he’s named Todd. Nobody named Todd or Tad is ever good in a horror movie.

Director Alexandre Aja doesn’t take much time introducing his cast of characters and he takes even less time in letting the fish devour them. So, no, the characters aren’t exactly all that developed. But it doesn’t matter really. With what little they have to work with, the cast works wonders. They know exactly what type of film that they’re in and they know why they are there and they embrace their roles as piranha fodder with an impressive sense of commitment. Best of all is O’Connell who turns sleazy, coke-fueled egomania into some sort of art form.

The real star of the film, of course, is director Alexandra Aja who takes a mainstream genre piece and who, much like his fellow French director, Jean Rollin, transforms it into a piece of pure grindhouse exploitation. Aja may use the clichés of the genre but he never blindly embraces them. Instead, he uses them to comment on both the genre and the audiences expectations of what those cliches mean. Aja takes everything we’ve come to expect — the blood and gore, the standard plot device of Shue’s children being stranded out on the lake, and the sudden death of nameless extras — and he then pushes them just a little further than the audience is expecting, As a result, he not only comments on those expectations but he forces the audience to question them as well.

This is never more apparent than in the film’s climatic piranha attack. This is when the piranha finally get around to attacking all of the swimmers at once. This is the scene that we all know is coming and that we’ve all been expecting and Aja does not disappoint. Things start out as you might expect. Close-up of bikinis. Drunk idiots in the water. A wet t-shirt contest. Rhamas and Shue come up in a boat and start yelling, “Everybody out of the water!” Because they’re a bunch of drunk dumbfugs, everyone responds by jumping into the water. Cut to an ominous piranha point-of-view shot. Suddenly, one woman — floating out in an inntertube — shouts, “Something bit me!” And suddenly, all Hell breaks loose.

This is the scene you knew was coming and you’ve seen it a hundred times before. What makes it memorable here is just how far director Aja takes things. These fish don’t just bite their victims. They literally devour them while the camera lingers over every piece of flesh that floats through the ocean. As everyone struggles to get out of the water, they get their skulls split open by passing boats. In the background, we see various feet, hands, and other body parts randomly floating in the water. One older man pulls his friend’s torso onto the beach and cradles it while screaming, “I love you, man! I love you!” As Shue tries to pull people out of the water, we see a teenager that’s already on the boat start to shake as his life expires. As I mentioned before, Todd tries to escape by forcing his motorboat through the crowd of terrified swimmers and graphically dismembers a lot of people in the process. It’s an incredibly graphic sequence, one that starts out as fun but which just keeps going and going, Director Aja understands that the audiences is expecting — probably even looking forward to — seeing a little blood. So, instead he assaults us with a lot of blood and he does so in such a way that the audience is forced to question why a little blood is fun but a lot of blood is disturbing. It’s as if Aja is saying, “You wanted to see people die, well — here they are, dead. You feel better now?”

As for the 3-D, Aja proves himself to be one of the few filmmakers to understand that 3-D is not the future of movies. It’s just another gimmick to be exploited and exploit it he does. However, he does so brilliantly and he is so shameless about it that watching Piranha 3-D simply serves to reiterate just how silly the whole 3-D craze really is. Every short is a tracking shot. The CGI piranha float across the screen, stopping momentarily to stare straight out at the audience and almost wink. The men in the audience seemed to be especially happy about all the boobs that literally seem to swing out of the screen and across the theater but they were a bit less enthused when a disembodied penis came floating out of the screen. By not only fully embracing the ludicrous possibilities of 3-D but by also doing so without any shamefaced attempts to justify its use, Piranha 3-D is perhaps the greatest 3-D movie ever made.