Live Tweet Alert: Watch Polaroid with #ScarySocial

Posted on January 13, 2024 by Lisa Marie Bowman

As some of our regular readers undoubtedly know, I am involved in a few weekly live tweets on twitter. I host #FridayNightFlix every Friday, I co-host #ScarySocial on Saturday, and I am one of the five hosts of #MondayActionMovie! Every week, we get together. We watch a movie. We tweet our way through it.

Tonight, for #ScarySocial, Deanna Dawn will be hosting 2019’s Polaroid!

If you want to join us on Saturday night, just hop onto twitter, start the film at 9 pm et, and use the #ScarySocial hashtag! The film is available on Prime. I’ll probably be there and I imagine some other members of the TSL Crew will be there as well. It’s a friendly group and welcoming of newcomers so don’t be shy.

Late Night Retro Television Reviews: Friday the 13th 1.14 “Bedazzled”

Posted on January 12, 2024 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a new feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Fridays, I will be reviewing Friday the 13th, a show which ran in syndication from 1987 to 1990. The show can be found on YouTube!

This week’s episode of Friday the 13th is …. well, it’s not that good. Let’s talk about it.

Episode 1.14 “Bedazzled”

(Dir by Alexander Singer, originally aired on February 22nd, 1988)

With Jack and Ryan out of town to attend an astrology convention, Micki has got the antique store to herself …. or, at least, she does until she agrees to babysit a bratty kid named Richie (Gavan Magrath). Even worse than Richie are Jonah (Alan Jordan) and Tom (David Mucci), who claim to be telephone repairmen but who are actually at the store because they want to retrieve a cursed lantern that was taken from them by Jack and Ryan.

(Incidentally, they kill the real telephone repairman before showing up at the store. The real repairman is played Timothy Webber, who played Mo in Terror Train. Meanwhile, Dave Mucci played Wendy’s thuggish boyfriend in Prom Night. So, if nothing else, this episode is a footnote of sorts in Canadian slasher history.)

The cursed lantern is probably the lamest antique that the show has featured up to this point. Using the lantern, undersea divers can find hidden treasure. But after finding treasure, the lantern then has to set someone on fire. (Basically, after hidden treasure is found, anyone who is touched by a beam of the lantern’s light will burst into flames.) The man problem is that the lantern is so big and bulky that Jonah just looks silly whenever he picks it up and aims the lantern’s fiery light at anyone. It is a seriously awkward and rather impractical weapon, one that appears to not only be impossible to aim but also next to impossible to run with as well. Add to that, it turns out that the beam of light can diverted by a mirror so it’s not only a lame item but an easily defeated one as well.

It’s a shame that this episode isn’t better. Micki may have the best hair and the best fashion sense of anyone on the show but it’s rare that she ever really gets an episode all to herself. But this episode saddles her down not only with forgettable villains and an impractical cursed item but it also forces her to deal with a bratty kid. The kid survives his night at store and, by all logic, he should be traumatized for life. Instead, he tells his mother about everything that happened and his mother laughs about what a great imagination he has. Seriously, though, shouldn’t Micki have some magic wand that she could use to erase Richie’s memory or something? It seems kind of dangerous to let a kid that bratty know that the store is full of magic items.

Anyway, this was a forgettable episode so I’m keeping the review short tonight! Fortunately, next week’s episode will be much better.

Late Night Retro Television Reviews: Monsters 1.15 “The Mother Instinct”

Posted on January 10, 2024 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Wednesdays, I will be reviewing Monsters, which aired in syndication from 1988 to 1991. The entire show is streaming on Tubi.

This week’s episode of Monsters is all about killer worms!

Agck! Seriously, nothing freaks me out more than carnivorous creatures that slither around. Obviously, most worms are too small to be dangerous and I assume the same can be sound of most snails. Still, thought of giant worms bursting out of the ground and eating people …. I mean, obviously, it might make a good film but it’s not something that I would necessarily want to see in person. If I ever saw something like that happens in my back yard, for instance, I would probably have to move to another house. That would suck because I like this house. Seriously, killer worms, stay away!

Anyway, where were we? Oh yeah, the show….

Episode 1.15 “The Mother Instinct”

(Dir by Bette Gordon, originally aired on February 18th, 1989)

Nelson (Tom Gilory) is a real loser. He’s a loser in business and a loser in life. He’s got a gambling addiction and, despite being married to the loyal Sheila (Finn Carter), he simply cannot bring himself to remain faithful to his wife. Nelson is in debt and desperately needs money. His original plan is to ask his wealthy mother-in-law (Elizabeth Franz) for the money but she can see straight through him and refuses to give him a cent.

However, Nelson discovers that his mother-in-law has been growing melons in her green house that can provide temporary, superhuman strength. (Usually, the mother-in-law is confined to a wheelchair but, whenever she drinks the super-powered melon juice, she can walk and literally toss people around her house.) Nelson wants to steal the melons and sell them. His mother-in-law refuses to give her permission so Nelson forces Sheila to help him steal them.

What Nelson didn’t expect was that the melons would be protected by carnivorous worms! Nelson pressures Sheila to discover how her mother-in-law deals with the killer worms but it turns out that his mother-in-law has one last trick up her sleeve. “Never miss with a mother’s instinct,” Nelson’s mother-in-law says as the episode reaches its tasty conclusion.

This episode suffered from being a bit rushed, which is something that happens when a show attempts to tell an hour-length story in only 20 minutes. The killer worms were a bit too obviously puppet-like to really be scary but they still had their own silly charm to them. Sometimes, you just have to be willing to accept that you’re watching a low-budget production and you need to just enjoy it for what it is. Nelson was so obviously villainous that it made it difficult to believe that even insecure Sheila couldn’t see through him but at least he met his just deserts.

Incidentally, a year after appearing in this episode, Finn Carter starred in a movie that featured slightly more frightening killer worms, Tremors.

Live Tweet Alert: Watch The Believers With #ScarySocial!

Posted on January 6, 2024 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Tonight, for #ScarySocial, I will be hosting 1987’s The Believers, starring Martin Sheen!

If you want to join us on Saturday night, just hop onto twitter, start the film at 9 pm et, and use the #ScarySocial hashtag! The film is available on Prime and Tubi!. I’ll be there co-hosting and I imagine some other members of the TSL Crew will be there as well. It’s a friendly group and welcoming of newcomers so don’t be shy.

Late Night Retro Television Reviews: Friday the 13th 1.13 “The Baron’s Bride”

Posted on January 5, 2024 by Lisa Marie Bowman

This week, Micki and Ryan go to 1870s London!

Episode 1.13 “The Baron’s Bride”

(Dir by Bradford May, originally aired on February 15th, 1988)

The latest cursed antique that Jack has decided to retrieve is a cursed cape. As Jack explains it, any man who wears the cape will automatically become irresistible to women. So, with that in mind, why does Jack take Ryan and Micki with him? Wouldn’t it make more sense to leave Micki at home and just bring Ryan who, as a guy, would be immune to the cape’s powers?

Seriously, Jack did not think this through!

As well, Jack also doesn’t know the full extent of the cape’s power. It not only makes the wearer irresistible to women but it also turns him into a vampire. And if blood gets on the cape’s brooch, the vampire and anyone near him will be transported into the past.

Jack, Ryan, and Micki arrives the home of Marie Simmons (Diana Barrington), just in time to see her giving the cape to her new boarder, Frank Edwards (Tom McCamus). Of course, as soon as Micki sees Frank, she falls under her spell. When Marie attacks Micki, she cuts Micki’s cheek. Micki’s blood hits Frank’s brooch and they (along with Ryan) are transported into the past.

All three of them end up in London in 1870. While Frank stalks victims on the streets of London, Micki and Ryan team up with a young writer named — *ahem* — Abraham (Kevin Bundy) and his wife, Caitlin (Susannah Hoffman). Frank is determined to find Micki and, because Frank is still wearing the cape, Micki once again finds herself falling under Frank’s spell.

This is an excellent and atmospheric episode. As soon as Ryan, Micki, and Frank are transported to London, the show switches from color to black-and-white and the story plays out like a macabre Universal horror film. The episode is full of scenes of Frank running in slow motion towards his victims and revealing his fangs as he snarls at his enemies and Tom McCamus gives a wonderfully sinister performance as the innocent boarder turned vampire. This episode packs a lot action into just 45 minutes of screen time and Micki and Ryan (and Robey and John D. LeMay) again prove themselves to be a good team.

The episode ends with a neat, if predictable twist. Back in the present day, Jack asks Micki and Ryan if they happened to learn Abraham’s last name. When they reply that they only knew him by his first name, Jack reveals that they spent their time in London working with Bram Stoker. So, in their way, Micki and Ryan are responsible for Dracula! Woo hoo! Way to go, guys!

This was a great and fun episode. Episodes like this make me glad that I decided to review this show.

One final note: Keep an eye out for Friday the 13th — A New Beginning‘s John Shepherd as a police constable.

Late Night Retro Television Reviews: Monsters 1.14 “Parents From Space”

Posted on January 3, 2024 by Lisa Marie Bowman

This week on Monsters, peace-loving aliens crash land on Earth and meet some really unlikable people. Hmmm …. didn’t we just do this last week?

Episode 1.14 “Parents From Space”

(Dir by Gerald Cotts, originally aired on February 11th, 1989)

Poor Cindy (Mary Griffin)!

Cindy is a sweet-natured and caring orphan who is treated like a slave by her cruel foster parents, Ward (Frank Gorshin) and June (Peggy Cass). Ward and June don’t care about Cindy. All they care about is the money that they make for taking care of her. When the social worker visits, they pretend to be a sweet, old couple. When the social worker leaves, they treat Cindy like a slave and refuses to even show a hint of compassion when Cindy’s beloved hamster is seriously injured.

Fortunately, there are two rat-like aliens in the basement. Their spaceship crashed and their bodies cannot handle Earth’s atmosphere. In order to find a way home, the rats temporarily switch minds with Ward and June. In the rat bodies, Ward and June enter into a catatonic state. In the human bodies, the two rats try to figure out how to survive and escape.

The two rats turn out to be a lot nicer than Ward and June and they even heal the hamster. Cindy loves her foster rat parents but she’s disappointed when the two rats say that they are going to have to switch bodies again. As they explain it, it is simply not ethical for them to leave Ward and June in the rat’s bodies, especially since the rat bodies can’t survive on Earth for too long. Cindy responds by disintegrating the rat’s bodies (and, of course, the minds of Ward and June). The rats remain in the human bodies. When a social worker shows up to check in on the living situation, she discovers a very happy family but also a very messy house. The rats may be in human bodies but they are still rats.

This is an incredibly simple story with a one-joke premise. It’s a fun episode but it also feels a bit rushed due to the 20-minute runtime. Ward and June are such terrible foster parents that there’s never really any doubt as to what Cindy is going to do. I think a lot of people who grew up with abusive parents (foster or not) will definitely find a lot of wish-fulfillment in this episode. Cindy has terrible parents but she gets to trade them in for a better set.

The best thing about this episode was definitely the rats themselves. For a low-budget show, Monsters usually had effective creature effects. Just check out these two:

Evil, they make look but they’re actually the nicest aliens this side of Glim-Glim.

This was a slight but likable episode. Cindy got a nice family and the hamster lived.

Live Tweet Alert: Join #ScarySocial for Bones and All!

Posted on December 30, 2023 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Tonight, at 9 pm et, Tim Buntley will be hosting #ScarySocial! The movie? 2022’s Bones and All!

If you want to join us this Friday, just hop onto twitter, start the movie at 9 pm et, and use the #ScarySocial hashtag! I’ll be there tweeting and I imagine some other members of the TSL Crew will be there as well. It’s a friendly group and welcoming of newcomers so don’t be shy.

Bones and All is available on Prime!

See you there!

Late Night Retro Television Reviews: Monsters 1.13 “Glim-Glim”

Posted on December 27, 2023 by Lisa Marie Bowman

This week, humanity screws everything up.

Episode 1.13 “Glim-Glim”

(Dir by Peter Stein, originally aired on February 4th, 1989)

This is Glim-Glim.

Glim-Glim was flying his spaceship over Earth when he lost control and crash-landed in a small town in the Midwest. Within a week of Glim-Glim’s arrival, almost everyone in the town was dead as the result of a terrible virus, a disease to which Glim-Glim had immunity but most humans did not. Glim-Glim set up a force field around the town in order to keep the virus from escaping and killing any more humans. Unfortunately, the force field can only stay powered for so long. Setting himself up in the local library, Glim-Glim is doing research and looking for a cure.

The cure might be found in the blood of the only three townspeople who haven’t died, Carl (Brian Fitzpatrick), Carl’s unnamed friend (Mark Hofmaier), and the friend’s daughter, Amy (Jenna Van Oy). The survivors have also set themselves up in the library. Unfortunately, only Amy understands that Glim-Glim has come in peace and wants to save humanity. Her father and Carl, on the other hand, are determined to track down Glim-Glim and destroy him.

Oh, humanity! We really are our own worst enemy, aren’t we? At least, that’s the theme of this week’s episode of Monsters, in which Carl and his friend are so determined to kill the invader that they don’t realize that they are risking the future of the entire human race. While the rest of the world celebrates Christmas and has no idea that extinction is looming, Carl and Amy’s Dad stalk the one creature who can save the world. Glim-Glim sadly writes in his journal that he won’t be able to live with himself if he’s responsible for wiping out the world’s population. Only Amy understands that Glim-Glim is good but no one will listen to her because she’s young.

This episode had a definite Twilight Zone feel, with its message that the greatest threat to humanity comes not from outer space but instead from humanity itself. That said, I can kind of understand why Carl and his friend are so quick to assume the worst about Glim-Glim. They’ve just watched everyone they know die a horrible death and all they know is that it happened as the result of an alien visitor. Because there’s a language barrier, there’s no way for Glim-Glim to explain himself and Carl assumes the worst because he’s just been through an extremely traumatic experience. The episode ends on a dark note, one that practically begs for Rod Serling to pop up and remind us that a lesson learned too late is not much help.

Despite the fact that Glim-Glim looked kind of silly, this was an effective and atmospheric episode. It was a bit heavy-handed but, with barely 22 minutes available to tell a story about an alien invasion and the possible destruction of the human race, that’s to be expected. All extraterrestrials should be as kind-hearted as Glim-Glim.

Late Night Retro Television Review: Friday the 13th 1.12 “Faith Healer”

Posted on December 22, 2023 by Lisa Marie Bowman

This week, David Cronenberg directs a story about a cursed glove.

Episode 1.12 “Faith Healer”

(Dir by David Cronenberg, originally aired on February 8th, 1988)

After being absent for the last few episodes, Jack has returned to the antique shop and he’s back just in time to investigate a faith healer named Stewart Fishoff (Miguel Fernandes).

Fishoff started his career as a phony evangelist, one who was exposed by one of Jack’s friends, Jerry Scott (Robert A. Silverman). However, Fishoff is back and now, it appears that he truly does have the power to heal the sick. Jack can’t help but notice that Fishoff is now wearing a white glove, one that was purchased from the store. The glove can take away someone’s illness but then it then passes on that illness to the next person that it touches. With Micki busy researching the store’s history and Ryan suffering from a cold, Jack pays a visit to Jerry to plot how to get back the glove.

The problem is that Jerry wants the glove for himself and he’s willing to kill not only Fishoff but also Jack to get it.

Faith Healer was directed by David Cronenberg, one of the many prominent Canadian horror filmmakers who directed an episode or two of this show. Not surprisingly, the episode is full of visually striking images, from Fishoff’s church and the member of his cult to the scenes of suddenly sickened skin erupting and then rotting away. Indeed, if you watched this episode and somehow missed the directorial credit, you would still be able to guess that it came from the mind of David Cronenberg. It’s full of moody Cronenbergian images and themes, as the rational skepticism of Jerry goes to war with the faith of Fishoff’s cult and both turn out to be equally destructive. A good deal of this episode focused on showing how both Fishoff and Jerry were seduced by the cursed glove and its promise of power. If you’ve ever wondered why everyone on this show is so quick to use the antiques for evil, this episode seems to suggest that the antiques are a bit like a powerful drug. Once you give in to the temptation, the addiction quickly follows.

This episode was well-acted by both Cronenberg regular Robert A. Silverman and Chris Wiggins. Silverman turns Jerry into a compelling villain, one who falls victim to the same dark magic that he previously made a career out of debunking. This episode ends with Jack in a particularly dark place and Chris Wiggins does a great job of capturing Jack’s disillusionment. As Jack points out, all of his friends are either evil or dead or both! This episode explores the pain that comes from both owning the antiques and tracking them down.

Next week: Micki and Ryan travel in time to pursue a vampire!

Late Night Retro Television Reviews: Monsters 1.12 “Fools’ Gold”

Posted on December 20, 2023 by Lisa Marie Bowman

This week, a brave troll defends its treasure!

Episode 1.12 “Fools’ Gold”

(Dir by Greg Cannom, originally aired on January 21st, 1989)

Two constructions workers, Phil (Jeff Conaway) and Joe (T.J. Castronova), and their boss, Sherrie (Mary Cadorette), climb down into an underground tunnel. They’re expecting to find another construction worker who they believe is hiding in the tunnel. Instead, they discover the worker’s dead body and a gold coin.

Phil is super-excited about the gold and insists on exploring more of the tunnel. Joe and Sherrie stay behind while Phil explores. Joe talks about how, “in the old country,” his parents would tell him stories about faeries and goblins and trolls. Sherrie laughs and says that there’s no way Joe could actually believe in any of that.

Well, it’s actually a pretty good thing that Joe knows about trolls because there’s one in the tunnel! The troll (played, under a lot of makeup, by Debbie Lee Carrington) has hoarded all of the gold that it can find. According to Joe, trolls do this to trick people into entering their lair. Because trolls have a boiling hot blood, they can burn people just by touching them. Trolls are also vulnerable to sunlight and iron. That’s all Phil has to hear to decide that they should defeat the troll and try to steal the treasure for themselves.

The troll, however, is a bit more clever than the three of them realize. Not only is the troll a viscous attacker who can burn with one touch but the troll also has the ability to start an earthquake. When the troll does just that, Sherrie, Phil, and Joe find themselves trapped and fighting for their lives.

This episode featured three distinct human characters. Joe was good-hearted. Phil was greedy. Sherrie was somewhere in between. While Jeff Conaway overacted, both Mary Cadorette and T.J. Castronova gave adequate performances as Sherrie and Joe. That said, the definite star of this episode was the troll. Wisely, director Greg Cannom largely kept the troll in the shadows, which made it even more creepy as it ran around the tunnel. When the troll did attack, it was a genuinely frightening monster. What I liked is that the troll always moved quickly and ruthlessly. The troll wasn’t one of those slow monsters who show up in so many horror films. Instead, this troll was a predator, one that attacked quickly and showed no mercy. Seriously, no one watching this episode would want to run into that thing in a basement or anywhere else!

That said, this episode’s script was a bit underwhelming. The 20-minute runtime really doesn’t do Monsters any favors. This is an episode that would have benefitted from a longer run time and perhaps a somewhat darker ending. The humans were so unlikable that it was hard not to feel that they hadn’t earned a happy ending. I was Team Troll all the way.