Film Review: Unseen (dir by Yoko Okumura)


Up in Michigan, Emily (Midori Francis) is a doctor who has been kidnapped by her psychotic ex-boyfriend, Charlie (Michael Patrick Lane).  Charlie takes her to a cabin in the woods, where he ties her up and brags about the revenge that he’s going to take on her.  Emily manages to break free and temporarily incapacitate Charlie but, in the process, she breaks her glasses.  Nearly blind, Emily stumbles out into the wilderness.  Despite not knowing where she is and not being able to see more than a few inches in front of her, Emily has to find her way back to civilization before Charlie finds her.

Down in Florida, Sam (Jolene Purdy) arrives for another day of work at a gas station where she spends most of her time dealing with a broken Slurpee machine.  From the start, it’s not a good day, with a rich woman named Carol (Missi Pyle) demanding a refund just because she accidentally put the cheapest brand of fuel into her BMW.  Sam finds herself looking down at the card that she has from the suicide prevention hotline and we immediately know that Sam is not happy with her life.  Then, suddenly, her phone rings.

Emily and Sam don’t know each other but when Emily tries to use her phone to call for help, Sam is the one who ends up getting the call.  Once Sam realizes that Emily is being stalked by her murderous ex, Sam agrees to become Emily’s eyes through video call.  Sam guides Emily through the woods, keeping her informed of whether or not Charlie is nearby.  Along the way, they talk about their different lives and how they came to be in their current situations.  Sam gives Emily the strength to keep fighting for her survival while Emily gives Sam a reason to keep on living.  And while Emily is having to constantly deal with Charlie and his attempts to re-capture her, Sam has to deal with things like exploding slushee machines, a dying phone battery, and eventually Carol and an apparently insane (and heavily armed) man who appears to be her husband.

Unseen is a bit of a disjointed film.  The scenes in Michigan are very serious and very intense, with Emily suffering serious injury as she flees from Charlie.  At one point, Emily begs Sam to call her mom so that Emily can say goodbye to her and it’s a genuinely emotional scene.  At the same time, the scenes in Florida are often broadly comedic, with Sam sliding across the floor and, at one point, locking herself behind bullet-proof glass while Carol and her husband, who is dressed like a yacht captain, scream at her to come out.  The tonal shifts between the two locations can be a bit jarring but the film is still effective, largely due to the sincerity of the performances of Midori Francis and Jolene Purdy.  Their friendship feels real and it’s hard not to get a little misty-eyed at the film’s final moments.

Unseen deserves a lot of credit for only being 76 minutes long.  It tells its story quickly and without any unnecessary padding.  This is a film that does not waste any time getting to the point and, in this time when even the simplest of genre films will often run for more than two hours, it’s hard not appreciate the nicely paced efficiency of Unseen.

Live Tweet Alert: Join #ScarySocial for Unseen!


As some of our regular readers undoubtedly know, I am involved in a few weekly live tweets on twitter.  I host #FridayNightFlix every Friday, I co-host #ScarySocial on Saturday, and I am one of the five hosts of #MondayActionMovie!  Every week, we get together.  We watch a movie.  We tweet our way through it.

Tonight, at 9 pm et, Tim Buntley will be hosting #ScarySocial!  The movie?  2023’s Unseen!

If you want to join us this Friday, just hop onto twitter, start the movie at 9 pm et, and use the #ScarySocial hashtag!  I’ll be there tweeting and I imagine some other members of the TSL Crew will be there as well.  It’s a friendly group and welcoming of newcomers so don’t be shy.

Unseen is available on Prime!

See you there!

Late Night Retro Television Reviews: Friday the 13th 1.6 “The Great Montarro”


Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a new feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Fridays, I will be reviewing Friday the 13th, a show which ran in syndication from 1987 to 1990. The show can be found on YouTube!

This week’s episode of Friday the 13th is all about magic, blood, and costumes!

Episode 1.6 “The Great Montarro”

(Dir by Richard Friedman, originally aired on November 2nd, 1987)

This week’s episode opens with a magician named Fahteem (August Schellenberg) performing his signature trick.  He steps into the Cabinet of Doom and, once he’s sealed inside, several sword blades are driven through the cabinet.  Somehow, Fahteem always survives without a scratch and the audience is always amazed.  What the audience doesn’t know is that the Cabinet is a cursed antique.  Before each performance, Fahteem drugs a woman and locks her in another cabinet.  The blades kills whoever is in that cabinet while leaving Fahteem untouched.  Of course, if no one is in the other cabinet than the blades will kill whoever is in the Cabinet of Doom.  That is something that Fahteem discovers when an unknown perpetrator decides to take the cabinet away from him.

After Fahteem is murdered, Jack, a former musician who was an unfriendly acquaintance of Fahteem, discovers that the Cabinet of Doom was actually purchased from the antique store.  Jack decides to return to the world of magic and magicians so that he can track down the cabinet.  Helping him, and getting to wear a cute assistant’s uniform, is Micki.  Ryan also helps but he doesn’t get anything cute to wear.

It turns out that the cabinet is now in the possession of the Great Montarro (Graeme Campbell) and his wife, Lylah (Lesleh Donaldson).  Realizing that Jack is trying to take away the cabinet, Montarro and Lylah are soon targeting him and trying to make his signature trick into a fatal one.  Seeing as how that trick involves Jack being tied up in a sack that is then set on fire, that might be an easier task than it sounds.

This is the bloodiest episode of the show yet, with the camera focusing on the gory results of every failed trick.  Blood drips from cabinets.  Blood spreads across stages.  Watching the show, you really do find yourself watching why there’s so many spikes and blades just lying around.  Apparently, audiences for magic shows are not satisfied unless there’s a chance that they might see someone die in a terrible fashion.  In the role of Jack, Chris Wiggins appears to be having a ball performing magic tricks and, as a result, both Micki and Ryan spend most of the show standing off to the side.  Fortunately, Wiggins is a lot of fun to watch in this episode.  The joy that he takes from pulling off the perfect trick is contagious.  The overall episode is a bit too slowly paced but at least almost everyone gets to wear a nice costume.

Next week, Jack, Ryan, and Micki try to recover a cursed scalpel!

Live Tweet Alert: Watch American Gothic with #ScarySocial


 

As some of our regular readers undoubtedly know, I am involved in a few weekly live tweets on twitter.  I host #FridayNightFlix every Friday, I co-host #ScarySocial on Saturday, and I am one of the five hosts of #MondayActionMovie!  Every week, we get together.  We watch a movie.  We tweet our way through it.

Tonight, for #ScarySocial, Deanna Dawn will be hosting 1988’s American Gothic!

If you want to join us on Saturday night, just hop onto twitter, start the film at 9 pm et, and use the #ScarySocial hashtag!  The film is available on Prime.  I’ll probably be there and I imagine some other members of the TSL Crew will be there as well.  It’s a friendly group and welcoming of newcomers so don’t be shy.

Late Night Retro Television Reviews: Friday the 13th 1.5 “Hellowe’en”


Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a new feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Fridays, I will be reviewing Friday the 13th, a show which ran in syndication from 1987 to 1990.  The show can be found on YouTube!

Tonight, we have the first Halloween episode of Friday the 13th: The Series!

Episode 1.5 “Hellowe’en”

(Dir by Timothy Bond, originally aired on October 26th, 1987)

Somehow, it was not until I watched this episode that I noticed that the Friday the 13th antique shop is names Curious Goods.  I guess that’s a good name for a cursed antique shop.  (It’s probably more inviting than going with something more honest, like Evil Junk.)  Certainly, it appears that it was good enough to keep the place open, even though the owners spent most of their time taking back the antiques from the people who bought them.

This episode takes place during a Halloween party.  Is it a good idea to throw a Halloween party in a location that is full of cursed items?  That’s the exact question that Micki asks Ryan but Ryan thinks that the store needs to do something to let the neighborhood know that it’s not as scary as it looks.  Ryan is actually thinking like a businessman, whereas Micki is thinking like someone who just wants to find all of the cursed antiques so she can get back to planning her wedding.  Personally, I think Micki has the right idea.

That said, it’s not a bad party.  Ryan dresses up like a renaissance prince.  Micki wears a black gown that is to die for.  (I assume Micki is costumed as the lead singer of an 80s goth band.)  Jack, who really should have been the voice of reason when Ryan first suggested the party, dresses up like a wizard.  A lot of people from the neighborhood come to the shop and they watch as Jack performs some simple magic tricks.  Unfortunately, the party is ruined when two dummies wander down to the basement and accidentally activated a crystal ball.  The lights in the store go out.  There are scary noises.  Everyone abandons the shop, except for Ryan and Micki.

Where is Jack?  He’s taking a mysterious little girl trick-or-treating, just to suddenly discover that the girl is actually a Satanic creature who was sent to distract him while the ghost evil uncle Lewis (R.G. Armstrong) confronted Ryan and Micki in the shop.  Lewis, who is wandering around because the damned are apparently allowed to do so only on Halloween night, lies and says that he needs the amulet of Zohar so that he can free his wife from a curse but, after Ryan and Micki stupidly bring him the amulet, Lewis announces that the amulet will actually allow him to transfer his spirt into the body of someone who has recently died, as long as that person died from natural causes.  Lewis is going to use the amulet to return permanently to the land of the living.

Lewis and the little demon girl head down to the local morgue.  Fortunately, Jack has broken free of the trap that the demon put him in and Ryan and Micki have, for once, managed to figure out what’s happening on their own.  Between the efforts of Jack, Ryan, and Micki and Lewis’s own pickiness when it comes to picking a body, Lewis’s time runs out and he is dragged back to Hell.

This was a fun episode.  Not only did did it feature Ryan and Micki wearing their very 80s Halloween costumes but it also featured an enjoyably over-the-top performance from R.G. Armstrong as evil Uncle Lewis.  All Halloween episodes should be as enjoyable as this one.

 

Late Night Retro Television Reviews: Monsters 1.5 “My Zombie Lover”


Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Wednesdays, I will be reviewing Monsters, which aired in syndication from 1988 to 1991.  The entire show is streaming on Youtube.

For this week’s episode, the dead rise and …. hey, wait a minute.  Horrorthon’s over!  And yet, here I am reviewing another show about zombies.  Oh well, let’s get to it!

Episode 1.5 “My Zombie Lover”

(Dir by David Misch, originally aired on November 19th, 1988)

It’s the night of the dead!

In a small town, the dead rise once a year and feast on the flesh of the living.  No one is sure why this happens.  As one person explains it, some people think that it’s a gypsy curse and some people think that it’s due to radiation and others think that it’s just the result of poor embalming techniques.  But every year, for one night, families in the town head out with their guns and they spend a few hours killing zombies.

Dottie (Tempestt Bledsoe) is home, visiting from college.  She doesn’t want to go out and hunt zombies.  Nor does she want to go see her old high school acquaintances.  She just wants to stay on the couch while Dad (Ed Wheeler), Mom (Marcella Lowery, the terrible principal from City Guys), and her younger brother, Brad (Eugene Byrd), head outside.  Dad can’t wait to kill some zombies.  Brad, meanwhile, thinks that the zombies should be left alone and is carrying a protest sign.

After her family boards up the house and then leaves, Dottie is surprised to hear a knock at the door.  She answers the door and finds Paul Nichols (Steve Harper) standing outside with some flowers.  Paul was in Dottie’s French class but he died before he could graduate from high school.  Now, he’s back in zombie form and he just wants Dottie to know that he always had a crush on her.  Soon, Paul and Dottie are talking about old times.  Unfortunately, Paul cannot resist the temptation to bite Dottie’s hand but Dottie forgives him.

Suddenly, Dad, Mom, and Brad return.  Dad takes one look at Paul and aims his rifle.  Shouting that she loves Paul, Dottie jumps in front of her zombie boyfriend and is killed by the bullet that was meant for him.  However, since this is the night of the dead, Dottie immediately returns in zombie form.  She and Paul are both hungry and they ask if there’s any meat in the house.  Dad and Mom think for a moment and then they both look down at Brad and share a smile.

In other words, Brad was the only person in town who cared about the zombies and now, he’s going to be eaten.

I appreciated this episode’s rather macabre sense of humor and I especially liked the way Dad ran through all the possible reasons for the zombies returning.  (They are all reasons that have been suggested in various Romero zombie films.)  Unfortunately, a few too many of the jokes fell flat for this episode to really be considered a total success.  Tempestt Bledsoe, in particular, seemed to be confused by the episode’s grotesque humor, giving a performance that never quite found the right balance between sincerity and humor.  That said, I did like Steve Harper’s performance as the saddest zombie in the world.  He only gets to eat once a year but, rather than do that, he just wants to let Dottie know that he liked her.  Awwwwww!

Despite some tonal inconsistences, this was an entertaining episode, one that I appreciated as a fan of zombie films.

Another Halloween Has Come and Gone


Another Halloween has come and gone and another Horrorthon has come to a close.  We hope you have had a wonderful October and that the Thanksgiving month brings you much to be grateful for!

And remember, just because you didn’t see the Great Pumpkin this year, doesn’t mean that he won’t be there for you next October.  As always, Linus puts it best:

To all of our readers and from all of your friends at the Shattered Lens, thank you.

Horror AMV of the Day: This Is Halloween (Various)


I hope you’ve had a great Halloween and a great October!  How about one final amv for this year’s Horrorthon?

Song: This Is Halloween by Real Chantay

Anime: Cube x Curious x Cursed, Higurashi no naku koro ni, Shiki

Creator: Nightmare Nyu

Past AMVs of the Day

Horror on TV: The Curse of Degrassi (dir by Stefan Brogren)


This is a special episode of my favorite TV show of all, Degrassi!  Originally airing on October 28th, 2008, The Curse of Degrassi features Degrassi’s main mean girl, Holy J Sinclair (Charlotte Arnold), getting possessed by the vengeful spirit of deceased school shooter, Rick Murray (Ephraim Ellis).  Chaos follows!  Fortunately, Spinner (Shane Kippel) is around to save the day.  As any true Degrassi fan can tell you, only Spinner has a chance against the forces of the undead.

What I like about this episode is that, in the best tradition of Degrassi, it goes there.  Holly J does get possessed.  Just about the entire cast end up dying horribly.  Spinner has to battle the undead spirit of Rick Murray and he has to do it without the help of Drake.  And, as far as we know, this episode is canon.  So, yes, Rick Murray’s ghost actually does haunt Degrassi Community School and yes, only Spinner can save us all.

Go Spinner!

Enjoy!

Horror on TV: The Hitchhiker 6.20 “New Blood” (dir by Joel Farges)


Tonight, on the final episode of The Hitchhiker, Rae Dawn Chong plays an aspiring actress who wants to join the hottest theatrical troupe.  Unfortunately, there’s a price for everything and sometimes, that price is your soul!

This episode originally aired on February 22nd, 1991.