Chip Zien – Through the Shattered Lens

There’s a scene in Howard the Duck where Tim Robbins looks like he briefly wants to strangle the title character, and I don’t blame him. Howard the Duck (voiced by Chip Zien) is not a very likable character in this movie. Due to an experiment with a laser spectroscope, he’s been transported from his planet to Earth. He’s in a world he didn’t make, and he doesn’t stop complaining for one moment. As for Tim Robbins, he plays Phil Blumburtt, a laboratory assistant who is a friend of Beverly Switzler (Lea Thompson), the aspiring singer who is also Howard’s girlfriend. Beverly ends up getting abducted by Dr. Jennings (Jeffrey Jones), Phil’s boss, who has been possessed by a space monster that was brought to Earth by the same spectroscope that caught Howard. Howard wants to return to his planet, but he also wants to manage Beverly’s band; first, though, he has to defeat the space monsters.

Produced by George Lucas and based on the character created by Steve Gerber, Howard the Duck was a notorious box office bomb when it was first released in 1986, and it’s actually one of the reasons why it took so long for Marvel to start regularly producing films. I watched it recently to see if it had gotten any better with age, but no, it’s still pretty bad. Lea Thompson is cute, likable, and probably a little bit too sexy for a film about a talking duck, but otherwise, it’s a typical ’80s mix of action, comedy, and science fiction that gets too buried under its special effects to really be effective.

The main problem with the movie is its version of Howard himself. According to Steve Gerber, Howard the Duck was originally envisioned as being an animated film, but Lucas decided to do the film live-action, which meant creating a duck suit for Ed Gale to walk around in. Unfortunately, the suit doesn’t look like a duck, animated or real. It made Howard look like a puppet. The scenes of an underwear-clad Beverly rolling around with a duck were already strange enough without making the duck look like a ventriloquist dummy. The movie also didn’t capture the personality that made Howard so memorable in the comic books. In the comic books, Howard is cynical, easily irritated, and frustrated with the madness of everyday life. He’s an intellectual duck who wants to be left alone. In the movie, he tells a lot of bad jokes and is only once seen smoking his famous cigar. The satire that was at the heart of Gerber’s creation is lost as Howard instead tries to save Earth from being conquered by another group of aliens.

The movie never really decides if it wants to be a comedy or a big-budget action film. The movie not only damaged George Lucas’s reputation as a producer, but it also ended Willard Huyck’s career as a director. Howard the Duck is still a beloved character amongst readers. I remember the entire theater applauding when he showed up in Guardians of the Galaxy, looking like a real talking duck and voiced by Seth Green. He was featured in several episodes of What If…?. There might be a movie future for this duck yet.

Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Mondays, I will be reviewing CHiPs, which ran on NBC from 1977 to 1983. The entire show is currently streaming on Freevee!

This week, Ponch and Baker face their greatest enemy …. frat boys with a grudge!

Episode 2.8 “The Grudge”

(DIr by John Florea, originally aired on November 11th, 1978)

When Baker and Ponch attempt the warn the driver of an RV about the fact that his vehicle won’t be able fit through a tunnel, the driver reacts by trying to speed away. That’s because the driver is a frat boy and the RV is full of marijuana (or “Cannabis Rex!” as another frat boy puts it). This leads to the RV not only crashing in the tunnel but also Baker and Ponch busting all of the frat boys for possession.

A few months later, the frat boys are horrified when, despite only getting probation, they are still suspended from college and their fraternity is kicked off campus. The frat boys decide to get revenge on Baker and Ponch by playing a series of practical jokes. They send Baker and Ponch mysterious letters. They toss a bunch of fake money on the highway, causing a slow motion wreck. They try to disrupt the CHiPs open house, over which Baker and Ponch have been put in charge.

This was a bit of a silly episode. The frat boys somehow had the ability to always know exactly where Ponch and John were. For some reason, Ponch and John didn’t do the obvious and bust the frat boys for violating their probation. Sgt. Getraer, meanwhile, spends almost the entire episode being a jerk. He puts Ponch and Baker in charge of the open house and then gets mad at them for working on it while on the clock. Well, when are they supposed to work on it?

The episode did feature one good car crash. In fact, not only were multiple vehicles destroyed but it all happened in slow motion. That made up for a lot. Still, in the end, The Grudge was just a bit too silly to really work.