Retro Television Review: Malibu CA 2.9″Starstruck”

Posted on April 24, 2025 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Thursdays, I will be reviewing Malibu CA, which aired in Syndication in 1998 and 1999. Almost the entire show is currently streaming on YouTube!

Yes, this is from the first season. I don’t care. I refuse to waste my time looking for a second season advertisement.

Yes, it’s that time once again. Sorry, everyone.

Episode 2.9 “Starstruck”

(Dir by Gary Shimokawa, originally aired on December 4th, 1999)

Here’s what the imdb says about this week’s episode:

Jason has been having a great time with Alex and he admits to Murray that he’d like to date her. However, his film star friend Josh Denmark tells him that he too would like to date Alex. The two have competed for the same girls in the past and both agree not to date Alex. Murray, though, encourages Jason to ask Alex out, and he takes his advice. But it seems that Josh has already asked Alex out and she accepted.

Now, as you probably guessed, this is yet another season 2 episode that was not uploaded to YouTube. If I had known so much of season 2 was not available, I never would have started reviewing this stupid show to begin with and I’d be a lot happier right now. That said, in another few weeks, we will reach some episodes that actually have been uploaded. This post is a placeholder, in case I ever do find this episode. Plus, for whoever may be interested, you now know that Josh Denmark is a semi-regular character and so is Alex, the lifeguard who replaced Stads. I guess Jason is over Stads now. As for Scott, I guess he’s still training for the Olympics. *snicker* God, what a stupid show.

According to the imdb, this was the final episode to feature the character of “film star” Josh Denmark so I’m going to guess he turned out to be a jerk and left to film another movie. (That’s what usually happened whenever this plot played out on a Peter Engel-produced sitcom. Remember Johnny Dakota from Saved By The Bell?) The fact that this episode is called “Starstruck” leads me to suspect that Alex learned that there’s more to life than fame.

(It’s almost as if I don’t actually have to actually watch this show to know what happened.)

Anyway, hopefully I’ll get to do an actual review in the future.

Artwork of the Day: Brain Surgeon (by Rex Archer)

Posted on April 24, 2025 by Dazzling Erin

by Rex Archer

I hope he has enough gauze.

Music Video of the Day: Space Invader by Dexter and the Moonrocks (2023, dir by Trent Starks)

Posted on April 24, 2025 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Always be prepared. You never know who might land outside of your house. Anyway, this is a fun video. Remember that real Space Invaders can be destroyed just be coughing on them and giving them some of those Earth germs for which they have yet been able to build up an immunity.

Enjoy!

Late Night Retro Television Review: Monsters 3.15 “The Space Eaters”

Posted on April 23, 2025 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Wednesdays, I will be reviewing Monsters, which aired in syndication from 1988 to 1991. The entire series is streaming on YouTube.

This week, on Monsters, the aliens are due in New England so get your mudrooms ready!

Episode 3.15 “The Space Eaters”

(Dir by Robert T. Megginson, originally aired on January 6th, 1991)

On a stormy night in New England, two old friends get together to play chess. As is obvious from the dialogue, Howard (Richard Clarke) and Frederick (Matt Hulswitt) have been friends for a long time and their chess game is more than just a way to wait out the bad weather, It’s a part of an ongoing tradition. Howard is a respected small town doctor. Frederick is a veteran. Neither one is the type to believe stories about aliens coming to Earth.

Until, of course, it actually happens.

Their friend, Henry Wells (Richard Hughes), stumbles into the house and says that he and the other towns people were all captured by aliens and their brains have been eaten. Henry collapses and dies. A quick examination of his head reveals a bloodless hole. Frederick thinks that it might had been the result of a gunshot but why is there no exit wound? Howard takes a closer look at the hole and discovers that Henry is indeed missing his brain. Suddenly, Henry starts to speak in the voice of the alien and Howard and Frederick realize that Henry’s crazy story was true. The aliens have arrived and they’re eating brains! Can Howard and Frederick, who are apparently the last two townspeople who still have their brains, find a way to outsmart the aliens?

This was a good episode, one that was heavy on atmosphere and which featured good performances from the three-man cast. When the aliens did show up at the end, their design paid homage to the type of aliens that used to appear in Roger Corman’s 50s sci-fi films. It’s a nice touch. I always like it when Monsters pays homage to the horror and science fiction films of the past.

This was another good season 3 episode of Monsters! It’s rare that a show gets better in its later seasons but, so far, the third season of Monsters has been a hundred times stronger than the previous two seasons. We’ll see if that pattern continues next week.

Teaser Trailer for HIM (2025) – directed by Justin Tipping; produced by Jordan Peele!

Posted on April 23, 2025 by Bradley Crain

The other day I was heading to the movies to see SINNERS when I got a text from my son, “Have you seen the trailer for Jordan Peele’s new movie?” I hadn’t, and upon further review, he was talking about the movie HIM, which is produced by Jordan Peele. And then the trailer for HIM played before SINNERS. It’s definitely an interesting looking movie. Every year for my birthday I go to the theater to watch a movie, and it just so happens that HIM is scheduled to open on my birthday this year. I just may go watch it after I’m finished with my ribeye at the Texas Roadhouse! Check out the teaser trailer below!

The Eric Roberts Collection: Hunting Season (dir by Eduardo Castrillo)

Posted on April 23, 2025 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Yeah, I got nothing.

Seriously, 2016’s Hunting Season is so mind-numbingly dull and bad that I have no idea what to say about it. Usually, when I see an indie film that is this bad, I keep it to myself because I generally don’t believe in kicking people when they’re down. I’m far more comfortable trashing a bad film from a major studio than a mediocre one that was shot by some guy who put the entire budget on his credit card. But a visit to the imdb revealed several comments from people who worked on the film and were never actually paid for their efforts so screw it. This is one of the worst films that I have ever seen in my life.

Stock brokers are kidnapping people and hunting them for sport. Tom Sizemore plays Nick, who I guess is supposed to be the head stockbroker. If I sound confused, it’s because the soundtrack was so muddy that I often struggled to understand what people were saying. Sizemore disappears from the film, which is a shame because his unhinged, seemingly improvised performance was one of the only interesting things about the film. (At one point, Sizemore looked straight at the camera and extended his middle finger. I’m not sure if that moment was scripted or not.) Eric Roberts shows up for four scenes, playing the father-in-law of one of the stock brokers. The character’s daughter apparently has some sort of psychic connection with her husband and she shouted all of her dialogue. Clifton Powell shows up as a guy in a bar. Miguel Nunez Jr. plays an FBI agent.

Along with not being able to hear the dialogue, I also struggled to understand just where everyone was in relation to everyone else. The film was so haphazardly edited that it was impossible to really keep track of time or location or anything else that would have helped make the film interesting. It’s a talky film but good luck understanding what anyone’s saying. Most of the scenes have so many visible edits and so many close-ups that I got the feeling that everyone was on set at a different time. It makes for a disjointed and dull story. I couldn’t follow a bit of it.

Eric Roberts has appeared in nearly 800 films. This one might be the worst.

Previous Eric Roberts Films That We Have Reviewed:

Scene That I Love: The Blob Goes To The Movies

Posted on April 23, 2025 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Today’s scene is from 1958’s The Blob. Even aliens with no apparent brain enjoy going to the movies!

The Border (1982, directed by Tony Richardson)

Posted on April 23, 2025 by Jedadiah Leland

Charlie Smith (Jack Nicholson) gets a job with the Texas border patrol and goes from scrounging in a California trailer park to living the high life in a duplex in El Paso. His wife (Valerie Perrine) is looking forward to spending all the money that he’ll be making as a border agent. But then Charlie discovers that his bigoted superior (Warren Oates!) and his partner (Harvey Keitel) are running a human smuggling ring. When the baby of a young Mexican woman (Elpidia Carrillo) is kidnapped and sold to an illegal adoption ring, Charlie is finally forced to take a stand.

The Border seems to be one of Jack Nicholson’s forgotten films and it really can’t compete with some of the other movies that Nicholson was making around the same time. Compared to films like The Shining, Terms of Endearment, and The Postman Always Rings Twice, The Border really does feel and look like a poorly paced made-for-TV movie. British director Tony Richardson doesn’t really seem to know what type of movie he wanted The Border to be or what he wanted to say about immigration. This is the type neo-Western that Sam Peckinpah could have worked wonders with but Tony Richardson just doesn’t seem to have any feel for the material.

Still, Jack Nicholson is pretty good here, playing the type of weary character that he specialized in during the pre-Batman portion of his career. I especially liked the scenes that he shared with Valerie Perrine, who gave a good performance as someone who viewed buying a waterbed as being the height of luxury. Harvey Keitel’s performance sometimes felt too familiar. He’s played a lot of similar villains but he and Nicholson act well together.

And finally, Warren Oates in this movie, bringing his rough-hewn authenticity to his role. This was the last of Oates’s films to be released before his premature death. Blue Thunder and Tough Enough were both released posthumously. Warren Oates is an actor who was only 52 when he died. Whenever I see him onscreen, I think of all the great performances he would have given if he had only made it through the 90s.

Anger Management (2003, directed by Peter Segal)

Posted on April 23, 2025 by Jedadiah Leland

Dave (Adam Sandler), a timid man who has never gotten over being humiliated when he was a teenager, is sentenced to anger management after a slight argument on a plane is blown out of proportion by a taser-wielding shy marshal. His therapist is Dr. Buddy Rydell (Jack Nicholson), whose techniques only seem to exacerbate Dave’s growing anger. Among Dr. Rydell’s methods are giving Dave an unstable “anger buddy” named Chuck (John Turturro), ordering Dave to get revenge on the guy (John C. Reilly) who humiliated on his as a teenager, and also encouraging Dave to cheat on his girlfriend Linda (Maria Tomei) with a woman (Heather Graham) that they meet at bar. Dave goes from timid to angry, Dr. Rydell starts dating Linda, and the whole thing is wrapped up with a totally implausible ending.

The idea of the star of Chinatown and Five Easy Pieces co-starring in an Adam Sandler comedy sounds like it should be exhibit #1 when it comes to talking about the decline of American cinema but I’ve always liked Anger Management. Casting Jack Nicholson as the seemingly insane Dr. Rydell was an inspired choice and Nicholson gives a real performance in the film as opposed to just coasting on his already-established persona. Anger Management came out a year after Adam Sandler’s first dramatic film, Punch-Drunk Love, and, even though Anger Management is a raunchy comedy from the start to finish, Sandler’s performance actually finds the reality in Dave’s situation. Sandler plays Dave as being someone who is sincerely trying his best to get through his court-mandated anger management without losing control. Nicholson and Sandler make for a surprisingly good team.

Of course, it’s an Adam Sandler comedy so it’s not for everyone. The humor is often crude and the film’s final twist is so ridiculous that it can actually leave you feeling like you might need anger management. But Anger Management does show how Jack Nicholson improves anything that he’s involved with and it also shows that Adam Sandler can act when he feels like it. Anger Management also gave us the meme of Jack Nicholson nodding his approval, meaning the film and the performance will live forever.

Retro Television Review: The Love Boat 5.25 “Burl of My Dreams/Meet the Author/Rhymes, Riddles, and Romance”

Posted on April 23, 2025 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Wednesdays, I will be reviewing the original Love Boat, which aired on ABC from 1977 to 1986! The series can be streamed on Paramount Plus!

This week, someone needs to call Family Services.

Episode 5.25 “Burl of My Dreams/Meet the Author/Rhymes, Riddles, and Romance”

(Dir by Richard Kinon, originally aired on March 27th, 1982)

Poor Vicki!

Here she is, living on the Love Boat, surrounded by the middle-aged crew and the largely elderly passengers, and without a single friend her own age. (Seriously, how does Captain Stubing get away with this?) She’s excited when an old school friend, Scott Nelson (Rad Daly), boards the boat but Scott, being 14 and a boy, is totally clueless about the fact that 1) Vicki is no longer a tomboy and 2) Vicki totally has a crush on him.

Gopher sees that Vicki is upset so he tries to cheer her up by telling her that she deserves better than Scott and also sending her flowers. Gopher may have had good intention but now Vicki is convinced that she’s in love with Gopher and that Gopher is in love with her! Captain Stubing is not amused. And Vicki is also not amused when she overhears Gopher explaining that he was just trying to make Vicki feel better. And then she’s truly, truly unamused when Scott kisses her and then reveals that Gopher paid him to do so.

Seriously, poor Vicki! I relate to Vicki more than to Julie because I’ve never been a cruise director but I have been a teenager. I will never understand how the Captain is getting away with raising his daughter on a cruise ship. I can see where it would sometimes for fun for Vicki but doesn’t she miss having friends her own age? Doesn’t she wish she could explore something other than the Aloha Deck? This storyline once again reminded the viewer that Vicki really deserves a life on the mainland.

As for the other two stories, Paul Reese (Jared Martin) is a publishing executive who wants to sign an author named Gus Dolan (Alan Hale, Jr.). Gus is known for his tough crime novels. In order to get close to Gus, Paul strikes up a romance with Gus’s daughter, Kathy (Georgia Engel). Kathy is upset when she discovers that Paul works in publishing but, when Paul throws away the contact that he just got Gus to sign, she realizes that Paul does love her. And then Paul discovers that Kathy is the one who is actually writing Gus’s books. This storyline featured a good performance from Alan Hale, Jr. but there was next to zero romantic sparks between Jared Martin and Georgia Engel.

Meanwhile, Brian (Paul Williams) and Lenore (Joanna Pettet) searched the ship for a secret treasure and fell in love. Isaac’s cabin got ransacked twice. This was a pretty boring story and one of the biggest parts of it — Captain Stubing telling Brian and Lenore not to disturb anyone else’s cabin — took place off-screen.

So, this cruise left me feeling very sorry for Vicki and also for poor Gus Dolan. Vicki wants friends her own age. Gus wants to be a real writer. Not all dreams come true, even on the Love Boat.