Georgie, the Chaser (Cesar Romero) is a con artist who works for a low-level gangster named Sunshine Joe (William Frawley). When Georgie reads about an heiress named Clarice van Cleve (Patricia Ellis) who impulsively falls in love with any man wearing a uniform, Georgie pretends to be a member of the Foreign Legion and tracks her down. Georgie thinks that Clarice’s father will pay him off, just as he’s paid off all of her other suitors. Instead, Clarice’s father disinherits her and Clarice ends up living at Georgie’s place, along with his other criminal associates (Andy Devine, Warren Hymer, and George E. Stone).
Georgie reacts by getting out of town, leaving Clarice behind with his good-natured gang. However, even the gang gets tired of Clarice insisting that they dress up for dinner and that they all get a good night’s sleep. After Sunshine Joe cheats them out of their money, the remaining criminals head to the Yale-Harvard football game, hoping to win some bets and to set Clarice up with the player that her father wants her to marry, studious benchwarmer Hector Wilmot (Buster Crabbe).
Just a little over an hour long, Hold ‘EmYale is actually a pretty amusing movie. It was based on a short story by Damon Runyon and all of the characters are familiar Runyon types, streetwise but good-natured criminals who enjoy drinking and gambling and the film gets a lot of laughs out of their reactions to Clarice’s attempts to civilize them. Patricia Ellis is great as the ditzy Clarice and this film provides a chance to see Buster Crabbe playing a character who isn’t a natural-born athlete for once. It’s a minor film but worth watching for the cast and the snappy dialogue. Who would have guessed a good movie could be built around Ivy League football?
Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Wednesdays, I will be reviewing the original Love Boat, which aired on ABC from 1977 to 1986! The series can be streamed on Paramount Plus!
It’s time set sail for adventure!
Episode 5.28 “A Dress To Remember”
(Dir by Robert Scheerer, originally aired on May 8th, 1982)
This week’s episode features three stories and one dress.
The dress, a lovely blue gown, is brought on board by diet doctor Dr. Alfred Farney (Kelly Monteith), who claims that his “muskmullet” diet will lead to Donna Baker (Markie Post) losing 10 pound by the end of the cruise. The proof will be that Donna will be able to fit into the dress. Alfred’s former partner-turned-rival Dr. Tucker Martin (Lyle Waggoner) is also on the ship and his plan is to tempt Donna into eating so much that she’ll instead gain 11 pounds and the dress will rip. Boooo! Shame on both of those doctors! Seriously, Donna looks miserable for the entire cruise. That said, despite the efforts of Dr. Martin, Donna still loses the weight …. in fact, she loses even more than 10 pounds. She loses 11! Doctors Farney and Martin agree to partner up again and Donna, who looks like she’s about to faint, suggests that they celebrate over pizza. The doctors make some money and Donna gets an eating disorder but at least the dress looks good.
That dress goes through a lot over the course of one episode. For some reason, Gopher and Isaac have been tasked with keeping it safe. Why would you trust those two with something important? Actually, Isaac is usually pretty smart and Gopher’s actually been behaving a bit more like a professional than usual this season so I guess they were just having an off-cruise.
Norman Lomax (Bob Denver) wears the dress (and a wig) to keep his ex-father-in-law, Tom (Forrest Tucker), from recognizing him. Tom must be an idiot because Bob Denver in a wig and dress still looks and sounds like Bob Denver. Norman’s ex-wife, Nancy (Brianne Leary), is also on the cruise. Norman tries to win her back.
Finally, Tom falls for Rosie Strickland (Eleanor Parker), who makes her living selling flowers to people boarding the cruise. When Rosie’s daughter (Catherine Parkes,) shows up, Rosie doesn’t want her to know that Rosie isn’t rich. So, the Captain gives her the dress to wear and helps Rosie pretend to be a rich woman. Fortunately, it turns out that Rosie’s daughter loves her regardless of whether or not she’s rich. And so does Tom!
Myself, I’m a little bit concerned by the fact that the Captain just gave away a piece of clothing that belonged to one of the passengers. That doesn’t really seem very professional and it kind of goes against everything that we know about Captain Stubing. He’s a good man but he’s not exactly a rule-breaker. That said, everything works out in the end. Stubing even gets to perform a triple wedding.
The third story, I actually liked it. It’s heart was in the right place, even if it was basically just a remake of Lady For a Day. Eleanor Parker actually gave a really good performance, finding some much needed reality in Rosie’s character. The other two stories were pretty forgettable (or, in Bob Denver’s case, annoying) but Eleanor Parker’s story made up for both of them, making this a very nice and ultimately rather touching cruise.
Episode 17, the final episode of this short lived TV series, begins with Rufe Ryker (Bert Freed) in serious need of a cook at his cattle ranch. While lamenting the horrible state of the vittles that he and his men are being forced to consume to Sam Grafton (Sam Gilman), it’s suggested that he consider asking Marian Starett (Jill Ireland) to be his cook. Ryker ends up taking Sam’s advice and heads out to the Starett ranch to see her and even gets invited to stay for dinner. None of this is setting well with Shane (David Carradine) or Tom Starett (Tom Tully), as neither man trusts Ryker, especially since he has spent the better part of the first 16 episodes of the series wanting to take the ranch away from them. They make their feelings very obvious as Ryker plays nice and Marian seems to appreciate his suddenly more caring and complimentary nature. Later at Sam’s bar, Ryker begins telling Sam about how good it would be to have a woman to spend his time with. Sam tells him “You’re talking like a man in love.” It really seems that Ryker may be falling for Marian. He even gets a fresh shave and haircut. Shane walks in on Ryker getting his haircut and gets pissed all over again. He heads back to the ranch and tells Marian, who offers to give Shane his own haircut, that Ryker is “trying to court you,” hoping that she’ll put down the idea. Sensing what Shane is up to, Marian decides to play devil’s advocate and acts like dating Ryker isn’t such a bad idea. It drives Shane crazy, which seems to be making Marian quite happy. Ryker keeps pressing forward, even bringing Marian some excellent peanut brittle. As a jealous Shane tries to warn Marian that Ryker is dangerous, she asks Shane why he cares, clearly wanting him to answer honestly, which he doesn’t. Will Shave ever admit to Marian that he loves her?!! Will Ryker be able to convince her that he can give her a good life at his ranch? Will Tom threaten to kick Shane’s ass if he doesn’t handle his business with Marian? The good news is that all such questions are answered in this final episode.
While episode 17 presents a strange conundrum, Shane vs. Rufe Ryker for Marian’s attention, I must admit that I found it an excellent conclusion to the series for several reasons. First, Rufe Ryker’s best nature is finally revealed. Throughout the series Ryker has been a lot of bluster, but with a couple exceptions, he has mostly been a reasonable man and has even worked with the Starett’s multiple times for the good of the valley. His feelings for Marian bring out a sensitivity and kindness in him that we have not seen before. Being one of the more interesting characters, I liked that he was given even more depth this late in the series. Second, there’s a scene late in the episode where Tom confronts Shane, chews his ass out and tells him he’d kick that same ass if he was a little younger since he’s not “man enough” to take care of his business. So many times people dance around and do everything possible NOT to tell people how they feel in these shows. Not this time, as Tom tells Shane exactly how he feels and he doesn’t pull a punch even slightly. It pisses off an already pissed off Shane even farther, but these are words he needs to hear, and they spur him to action. I’ve mentioned some of Tom Tully’s excellent moments in the past, but he saved the best for last. I found it to be one of the best individual moments of the entire series. Finally, you’d think this storyline and the fact that it’s the very last episode would force Shane to finally tell Marian how he fills about her. I’m not going to spoil the ending, but throughout the entire series, Shane has been shown to be a man of action, not of words, and that aspect of his character remains unchanged to the very end. You’ll have to watch for yourself to find out exactly what I mean with that last statement.
I started watching this series for two reasons; I loved the 1953 movie SHANE with Alan Ladd, and I wanted to watch Jill Ireland in an on-screen role that does not rely on Charles Bronson. After watching every episode, I can confidently state that SHANE is a solid TV series, and that Jill Ireland does a fine job as the beautiful Marian Starett. And even better, it’s been a lot of fun sharing my thoughts with the readers of The Shattered Lens. Thanks to all who have joined me!
I stumbled on the full trailer for James Gunn’s Superman by accident today, as I was looking for background music to play while handling some apartment chores. I don’t know why IGN has this first and not the Warner Brothers YouTube Channel, but it’s not a “Concept” trailer.
I don’t know if I’m fully sold on this. It definitely feels a bit lighter compared to earlier presentations of the character. I do like David Corenswet’s approach (via Gunn’s writing/direction), though I thought he did a great job in Ti West’s Pearl and in Twisters. It definitely looks like there’s a great deal going on here, and the Man of Steel has quite a bit of backup to help him out.
We’ll all find out on July 11, when the film premieres in theatres.
As Guilty Pleasures go, The Shadow is a movie that has absolutely everything you need for a fun, campy ride. An Al Leong cameo, alongside James Hong? Check. Heroes and Villains taking time out to discuss their wicked plans (and how they’ll be stopped) over a glass of fine American Bourbon? Check. Early 90s Era CGI? Mark it down. Duel Wielding Pistol shooting action? Got it. Tim Curry just being there? Sweet.
After the wild success of Tim Burton’s Batman in 1989, Hollywood was scrambling to squeeze what they could out of the Superhero Movie. The Punisher, with Dolph Lundgren, would come out the same year. We’d end up with The Rocketeer (one of my personal favorites), BarbWire, Dick Tracy,The Crow, The Mask, and The Phantom, among others leading into the mid-90s. Among these was 1994’s The Shadow, based off the 1930’s character from Walter B. Gibson. Pre-dating all of the before mentioned characters (including DC’s Batman by almost a decade), The Shadow started as a series of radio stories before moving on to other forms of media. The movie didn’t do very well on it’s original release. Much like the magic that clouds men’s minds, audiences were more enraptured with The Crow months before and The Lion King. Some may remember a Shadow movie was made, but it was eclipsed by more popular films at the time.
At the same time, there were major advances happening in audio technology, thanks to a tiny Universal film called Jurassic Park. Jurassic Park helped to usher in an update in sound quality known as The Digital Experience (which we now know as DTS for short). As theatres coverted to the new sound system, various films in the early to mid nineties would make use of it, such as The Crow, The Mask, Timecop and The Shadow. By the time my family picked up their first Laserdisc player, DTS quality sound was available at home. My dad had a series of speakers lined around the living room of our house so that regardless of where you sat, the sound would move around you. One of the best tests of it was with John Carpenter’s The Thing, where Blair is standing off against the crew. The gunfire from his pistol would richochet from the front to the rear speakers, making the kids duck down.
The Shadow also made of use of this in certain areas, particularly with the way voices carried in a room. The part with Shiwan Khan’s voice moving over the city at night was amazing to hear with the right sound system. Just about any scene where The Shadow spoke had this sweet spatial effect that I loved.
The Shadow is the tale of Ying Ko (Alec Baldwin, The Getaway), a.k.a. Lamont Cranston. Living high in the Opium Fields of Tibet, he is a man of darkness, having inflicted great evil over time. Kidnapped and brought to a Tulku (a wise man) who has decided it’s time for redemption, Cranston is taught to cloud men’s minds, bending people to his will and to hide every aspect of himself save for one thing, his Shadow. He then returns seven years later to that “most wretched lair of villainy we know as” New York City, for we all know that the weed of crime bears bitter fruit.
Cranston spends most of his nights at The Cobalt Club with his Uncle Wainwright (Jonathan Winters, It’s a Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad World), who also happens to be the Police Commissioner. It allows him to keep up appearances while making sure the police don’t put The Shadow in their spotlight. When he meets the beautiful Margot Lane (Penelope Ann Miller, The Relic), he’s not only smitten, but finds her ability to read minds a dangerous threat to him.
When a metal casket from Tibet arrives at the New York Museum of Natural History, it reveals Shiwan Khan (John Lone, The Last Emperor), the last descendant of Genghis Khan. Gifted with the same abilities as Cranston, Khan has plans for the city and the world. He would rather have Cranston join him than to kill him. This turns the story into a classic Bond-like cliche where the hero and villain spend the bulk of the movie explaining their plans.
Enjoying the successes of Death Becomes Her and Jurassic Park, writer David Koepp was on a roll. The Shadow doesn’t take itself too seriously. Koepp and director Russell Mulcahy (Highander) splash moments of light comedy at just about every turn, mostly through the witty banter between characters. Some are over the top, particularly with Tim Curry’s character, while others are more subtle, like with Ian McKellan (The Lord of the Rings). If you’re looking for a serious drama in your superhero film, this isn’t it. Additionally, there are one or two elements that make no sense whatever. Mongol warriors walking around in full armor that no one ever seems to notice and taking rides in taxicabs (unless we assume they’re masked by Khan’s magic).
Most of the movie was filmed on the Universal Studios New York backlot, which explains why some scenes look like they were borrowed from Walter Hill’s Streets of Fire (that also used it years before). The mystical Tibetan Phurba dagger that echoes the disposition of its owner was a variant of the one used in Eddie Murphy’s The Golden Child in the late 80s.
if the movie’s climax between The Shadow and Khan feels a bit abbreviated, it’s because of a last minute change in filming. The original plan for the ending involved a series of mirrors, but an earthquake earlier in the year caused damage to the props the production team planned to use. So, what we get is a quicker scene, still falling in line with Mulcahy’s penchant for glass shattering, but leaving the audience to partially wonder what we could have had if everything worked out.
Finally, the real gem in all this is Jerry Goldsmith’s score. Although out of print, you can still find most of the tracks on YouTube, and the songs keep the immersion flowing. While I don’t see the film getting any kind of remakes in the near future, it’s nice to know everything came together (as well as it could) for this entry. Then again, who knows?
4 Shots From 4 Films is just what it says it is, 4 shots from 4 of our favorite films. As opposed to the reviews and recaps that we usually post, 4 Shots From 4 Films lets the visuals do the talking!
Today is the birthday of one of my favorite American directors, the one and only Sofia Coppola! In honor of this day, here are….
4 Shots From 4 Sofia Coppola Films
The Virgin Suicides (1999, dir by Sofia Coppola, DP: Edward Lachman)
Lost In Translation (2003, dir by Sofia Coppola, DP: Lance Acord)
Marie Antoinette (2006, dir by Sofia Coppola, DP: Lance Acord)
The Bling Ring (2013, dir by Sofia Coppola, DP: Harry Savides and Christopher Blauvelt)
Today, the Shattered Lens wishes a very happy birthday to the great Robert Zemeckis. Today’s scene that I love comes from Zemeckis’s 1985 film, BacktotheFuture.
Did you know that rock and roll was invented by a time traveler? Well, let’s not overthink things. Let’s just enjoy the scene.
Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Tuesdays, I will be reviewing Pacific Blue, a cop show that aired from 1996 to 2000 on the USA Network! It’s currently streaming everywhere, though I’m watching it on Tubi.
This week, Victor gets a plot.
Episode 2.4 “Bangers”
(Dir by Charles Siebert, originally aired on September 14th, 1996)
Victor del Toro, who often doesn’t get to do much on this show, finally gets a storyline of his very own. Unfortunately, it involves trying to keep a young man for his old neighborhood from joining a gang. One thing that you can always count on whenever you watch any sort of cop show from the 90s, if there’s a Latino cop in the cast, he’s going to have to keep someone from joining a gang. It was one of the biggest cliches on the 90s.
And don’t get me wrong. Gangs are a reality in America and they are a problem. At the same time, though, is there a reason why every time a Latino appeared on a show like this, they always seemed to either be in a gang or on the verge of joining a gang? Not every Latino family is poor, not every young Latino male is struggling with the pressure to join a gang, and for that matter, not every Latino with a tattoo is a member of a street gang.
While Victor dealt with the gangs moving into the neighborhood, Chris and Corey decided to rent an apartment together. Needless to say, things didn’t go well. Corey reveals that she is hyperorganized and likes to keep every surface in the apartment clean and spotless. (I don’t really see what that’s a problem.) Chris is revealed to be a slob who hangs her clothes around the kitchen and who pours a box of cereal out on the floor because she’s tired of Corey always cleaning. Isn’t Chris supposed to be a hotshot fighter pilot? I mean, up until this episode, there was absolutely nothing about her character that would suggest that she was incapable of picking up her clothes. I would think that, being a member of the Air Force, she would actually have had some sort of discipline drilled into her. It’s kind of like how soldiers still tend to stand at attention even while visiting their families. Anyway, this storyline ends with Chris throwing food around the apartment and Corey grabbing a pair of scissors and attacking Chris’s laundry …. wait, what? I’m sorry, this is psychotic behavior.
Don’t worry, though. Chris and Corey share a laugh about it and agree to remain friends but not roommates. Uhm, Chris …. Corey took a pair of scissors to your clothes. I mean, I don’t like sloppy people either but I generally don’t try to destroy their possessions.
Of course, the main problem with this episode is the same problem that all of the episodes have had. They’re cops on bikes! They wear shorts and polo shirts and they spend all of their time insisting that they’re real cops even though it’s obvious that they aren’t. Real cops don’t ride bicycles with baskets on the back.
This episode did not leave me with much confidence in California law enforcement.
Georgie, the Chaser (Cesar Romero) is a con artist who works for a low-level gangster named Sunshine Joe (William Frawley). When Georgie reads about an heiress named Clarice van Cleve (Patricia Ellis) who impulsively falls in love with any man wearing a uniform, Georgie pretends to be a member of the Foreign Legion and tracks her down. Georgie thinks that Clarice’s father will pay him off, just as he’s paid off all of her other suitors. Instead, Clarice’s father disinherits her and Clarice ends up living at Georgie’s place, along with his other criminal associates (Andy Devine, Warren Hymer, and George E. Stone).
Through the Shattered Lens 