I don’t know who designed the poster for the classic 1981 film, Ms. 45, but it is truly brilliant.
Directed by Abel Ferrara, Ms. 45 tells the story of a mute seamstress named Thana (played by Zoe Tamerlis) who, after being raped twice in one day, uses a 45 caliber pistol to take revenge on almost every man in New York City. The film’s tagline announces, “She was used and abused — and it will never happen again!” and Ms. 45 is a feminist masterpiece, one that exposed and attacked the same type of men who, undoubtedly expecting to see a typically low-budget, nudity-filled revenge flick, probably flocked down to 42nd Street to see the film when it was originally released.
Like the film itself, the poster is a work of transgressive brilliance, promising sex and violence while, at the same time, announcing that Thana was never again going to be a victim of an exploitive and patriarchal society. One can only imagine how many men were lured into the theater by the legs on this poster, just to then by left in a state of shock as they literally watched themselves being blown away and punished for their misogyny on screen. (Reportedly, even the most hardened of grindhouse audiences were left stunned by Ms. 45‘s intense final scene.)
The poster for Ms. 45 is definitely one of the best in grindhouse history and it’s also our latest artwork of the day!
(If you want to read more about my feelings about Ms. 45 and grindhouse cinema in general, please be sure to read my rightfully acclaimed essay on the subject, Too Sordid To Ever Be Corrupted.)
So far, season 7 of The Walking Dead has been pretty inconsistent.
Often times, I have felt like a lone voice in the wilderness, vainly defending the season premiere and continuing to hope that, at some point, Jeffrey Dean Morgan’s portrayal of Negan is going to become something more than a one-dimensional caricature.
Like a lot of people, I kind of enjoyed the second episode but, in retrospect, that was mostly because of the weirdness of King Ezekiel and the majesty of Shiva. The episode itself was extremely slow and featured one of those overly sentimental musical montages, the type of thing that never holds up particularly well on repeat viewing.
The Cell … oh, I tried to enjoy The Cell but basically, it was just an hour of Daryl not speaking and Negan doing his Negan thing.
And then there was last week’s episode, which appears to be going down in the history books as the consensus pick for the worst episode of The Walking Dead ever.
So, with all that in mind, I am going to cautiously state that I think that the latest installment, Go Getters, was a definite improvement over the last few episodes. It was hardly a classic. It certainly wasn’t The Walking Dead at its absolute best. But, at the very least, it held my attention for 60 minutes, it seemed to actually move the story forward (as opposed to just being a stagnant portrayal of doom and gloom), and it left me looking forward to seeing what would happen next week. Coming nearly halfway through an uneven season, Go Getters provided just a little bit of hope for the show’s future, telling us, “The Walking Dead‘s not dead and growling in Herschel’s barn just yet!”
Of course, it helped that Go Getters was centered on Maggie, the only one of the main characters who has not left me pissed off or disappointed this season. Following the deaths of Glenn and Abraham, Maggie and Sasha are hiding out at Hilltop Colony. Gregory wants to kick them out, Jesus wants to protect them. Eventually, the Saviors show up and we get to know Simon (Steven Ogg, investing the role with such menace that it’s hard not to wonder how different the season would be if he had been cast as Negan), who is one of Negan’s liuetenants. Simon collects his tribute, humiliates Gregory, and leaves. Meanwhile, Carl and Enid show up at Hilltop, having run away from Alexandria. One-eyed Carl has decided to take revenge on Negan and who can blame him? At this point, he has to know that his red-eyed, sniveling, neutered father isn’t going to do anything…
(Which brings up an interesting issue: we’re supposed to look down on Gregory for being so weak and subservient to the Saviors but really, he didn’t do anything different from what Rick did last week. We’re supposed to give Rick a pass but not Gregory, which doesn’t seem quite right. Gregory may be an ass but, as we should all know by now, nice guys don’t survive the apocalypse.)
So far, each episode this season has featured a different community being harassed by Negan. I’m assuming that these communities are eventually going to come together to take out the Saviors. If that’s the case, I can understand and even respect the deliberate build-up. At the same time, this season is moving so slowly (and has been so repetitive) that it’s hard not to get frustrated when you’re watching on a weekly schedule. One gets the feeling that Season 7 will be better when binge-watched but, for now, I find myself wishing the show would pick up the pace.
But, with all that in mind, I liked Go Getters. I love the fact that Maggie refuses to surrender. Despite all of the terrible things that have happened to her and the people that she loved, Maggie has not given up. She hasn’t turned into a weak shell, like Rick or Daryl. Nor has she retreated to a world of fantasy, like Carol. Instead, Maggie lives, Maggie fights, and Maggie endures. Glenn may be dead but Maggie the Cat is alive.
Do a google search for “Disco Painting” and this is one of the first images to come up. Entitled Disco Dilemma, it was painted by Mort Kunstler and, according to what I read online, it was used as the cover for the January, 1968 edition of a magazine called For Men Only.
(As my friend, Mark the Australian hippy, once pointed out, Kunstler is German for artist.)
A part of me wonders if that date is correct. Did they have discos in 1968? To me, this seems more appropriate for 1978 than 1968. Just check out that ascot on the bearded man over on the far left side of the picture. (The bearded man, incidentally, bears a vague resemblance to Charlton Heston. Heston famously wore a similar ascot all through Soylent Green.) According to Wikipedia, For Men Only published from “at least the 1950s to the 1970s,” which is pretty damn vague for the internet’s go-to source for information. Wikipedia also states that it started out as a “men’s adventure” magazine before going pornographic in 1970. Personally, I just think it’s amusing that there actually used to be a magazine called For Men Only. Is that a threat or a dare? If I found an old copy of For Men Only and I opened it, would it lead to some sort of Ark of the Covenant-style divine retribution?
(“CLOSE YOUR EYES! DON’T LOOK AT IT!”)
Well, regardless of when this was actually painted or if I would even be allowed to be in the same room as the actual magazine, here’s Disco Dilemma!
Last night, in between wrapping birthday presents and eating dinner, I watched the latest Lifetime premiere, Nightmare Wedding!
Why Was I Watching It?
It all started a little over 6 years ago when Arleigh asked me if I’d like to review movies for the Shattered Lens. When I said yes, that meant I was promising to watch and review as many movies as possible. If I hadn’t watched and reviewed Nightmare Wedding, I would be breaking my promise to Arleigh!
Add to that, Nightmare Wedding was a Lifetime film and I love Lifetime films! And let’s be honest — how can you not watch something called Nightmare Wedding? That’s a great title!
What Was It About?
After six years of dating, Max (Isaac Reyes) and Sandy (Nicola Posener) are finally getting married! However, there’s a bit of a problem: Max’s friend, Roman (Evan Henderson), suddenly shows up for the ceremony. Before she got together with Max. Sandy briefly dated Roman. Now, she hates Roman. Her family hates Roman. He friends hate Roman. Everyone hates Roman except for Max!
For his part, Roman is still in love with Sandy and he’s obsessed with both stopping the wedding and winning her back. And if that means that he has to kill a few people, send a few incriminating text messages, and do a few other shady things, that’s what Roman’s going to do!
Sandy’s friend Lisa (Angie Teodora Dick) attempts to confront Roman about his stalkerish behavior. Unfortunately, she makes the mistake of doing this while standing on the edge of a cliff. Roman responds by tossing her over the side. AGCK! I hate it when they kill off anyone named Lisa!
What Worked?
This was the epitome of a Lifetime guilty pleasure. Yes, the plot was totally ludicrous and, to a large extent, Roman’s plan depended upon everyone being an idiot. But, even with that in mind, the movie was still a lot of fun. One thing that I especially appreciated was the fact that Roman was so obviously psychotic and yet no one ever seemed to notice or care. Normally, that might be cause for criticism but Nightmare Wedding pushed things to such an extent that it became oddly charming.
Nicola Posener did a good job in the role of Sandy. You had sympathy for her and you really did find yourself hoping that she would get to have her dream wedding. Evan Henderson went so far over the top as Roman that his performance actually worked in a very odd and unexpected sort of way.
(Add to that, Evan bared just enough of a resemblance to Ryan Hansen that I could pretend that I was watching a spin-off of Veronica Mars.)
What Did Not Work?
Max was such a wimp! Seriously, after about five minutes, I found myself repeatedly shouting, “Be a man!” whenever he showed up on the screen. You didn’t want Sandy to get together Roman but, at the same time, it was impossible not to feel that she could have done a lot better than Max.
“Oh my God! Just like me!” Moments
I related to Megan (Gina Vitori), Sandy’s fun-loving sister. She was determined to have a good time, regardless of how many psychos showed up for the wedding. Watching Megan defiantly refuse to take the wedding seriously reminded me of my own refusal to take 2016 seriously. Good for Megan!
Lessons Learned
Never call out a psycho while standing on the edge of a cliff. It’s just common sense.
(Hi everyone! Usually, my sister — the Dazzling Erin Nicole — tracks down and selects the images that we feature in our Artwork of the Day feature. However, Erin is taking the week off — and November 24th is not only Thanksgiving but her birthday as well!, so be sure to wish her a happy one! — so, for the next few days, I’ll be selecting our artwork of the day! — Lisa Marie)
Edie, Andy, and Chuck Wein (1965, by Burt Glinn)
Needless to say — and this shouldn’t surprise anyone who knows how obsessed I am with Edie Sedgwick — this is one of my favorite pictures of all time! Beyond the cleverness of having this oh-so chic icons emerging from a manhole, Edie, Andy, and Chuck all look so young and optimistic. Just a few years after this picture was taken, Edie would die in a mysterious fire and Andy Warhol would be living in seclusion after being shot by Valerie Solanas. Film director Chuck Wein — who was responsible for introducing Edie to Andy — would also leave the Factory after Andy’s near-fatal shooting.
But, in this picture, none of that matters.
They have their entire life ahead of them and they own the future.
(Lisa recently discovered that she only has about 8 hours of space left on her DVR! It turns out that she’s been recording movies from July and she just hasn’t gotten around to watching and reviewing them yet. So, once again, Lisa is cleaning out her DVR! She is going to try to watch and review 52 movies by Thanksgiving, November 24th! Will she make it? Keep checking the site to find out!)
I recorded Remote Paradise off of the Lifetime Movie Network on October 30th. As is often the case with Lifetime movies, Remote Paradise was actually produced under a different title: Dark Paradise. I’m not sure why, exactly, Lifetime decided that Remote was somehow more appealing than Dark. But regardless, Paradise is Paradise, right?
Anyway, as this film started, I thought I might be able to relate to its story. I say this despite the fact that, in the starring role, poor Boti Bliss was occasionally forced to wear some of the most unflattering outfits that I’ve ever seen in a Lifetime film. Seriously, a huge reason why I watch Lifetime films is because I like seeing what people are wearing and how they decorate their homes. At the start of the movie, Tamara (played, of course, by Boti Bliss) not only wears horrid overalls but she also lives in a pretty small and cramped house. That was definitely a red flag.
However, once I got over her house and her sense of style, I started to relate to Tamara. At the start of the film, she’s informed that her father has died and she’s inherited close to 8 million dollars! A shocked Tamara mentions that she and her father didn’t even get along.
Hey! I thought, I used to fight with my Dad too!
Since Tamara has just broken up with her boyfriend, she decides to invest the money by going on a trip with her two best girlfriends.
Hey! I thought, I’m close to my girlfriends too!
So, they got to Hawaii.
OH MY GOD! I yelled I’VE BEEN TO HAWAII!
While in Hawaii, Tamara meets a sexy boat captain who claims that his name is Dario (played by Antonio Sabato, Jr). Dario says that he’s from Italy.
ARE YOU FREAKING KIDDING ME!? I’VE BEEN TO ITALY!
Soon, Tamara is swept off her feet by the handsome but mysterious Dario. She spends all of her time with him, dreaming of their future together.
OH MY GOD, I HAVE A WEAKNESS FOR HANDSOME AND MYSTERIOUS TOO!
Meanwhile, one of her friends is beat into a coma by an unknown attacker….
Okay, I can’t relate to that. I guess I should be happy about that…
One morning, Tamara wakes up to discover that not only is Dario gone but so is her bank account. That’s right, Dario stole all of her money and then fled Hawaii!
Sorry, Tamara, can’t relate…
And — oh my God! — Dario’s not even Italian! Tamara learns that Dario has been overheard speaking in Portuguese! OH MY GOD — HE’S BRAZILIAN!
Okay, I’ve lost the ability to relate to the movie…
And so, Tamara and her non-coma friend go to Brazil, looking for revenge. And I will say this for “Dario.” He may be sleazy. He may be evil. He may be every woman’s worst nightmare. But damn!, he’s got a nice house!
I like nice houses! But … no, sorry, still no longer relating…
Anyway, Remote Paradise is okay. Boti Bliss has been in several Lifetime films and she always tends to overact but that actually worked to her advantage here as Tamara seemed to be an overly dramatic person in general. (I especially enjoyed the way she spat out the word “bastard,” when she saw Dario’s car.) The story’s predictable but there’s a last minute twist that will not take you by surprise but, fortunately, the film does shy away from letting the Tamara pursue her vengeance. In the end, what’s important is that the beach looked good and so did Brazil and so did Antonio Sabato, Jr.
(Lisa recently discovered that she only has about 8 hours of space left on her DVR! It turns out that she’s been recording movies from July and she just hasn’t gotten around to watching and reviewing them yet. So, once again, Lisa is cleaning out her DVR! She is going to try to watch and review 52 movies by Thanksgiving, November 24th! Will she make it? Keep checking the site to find out!)
I recorded Island of Grace off of channel 58 on November 14th. Though I didn’t realize it at the time, Channel 58 is apparently the “all-faith” channel down here in Dallas. They only show faith-based and inspirational programming. In other words, they show the type of movies that I always dare Val to watch and review. (Case in point:The Encounter.)
And I’ll admit that I was tempted to try to convince Val to watch and review Island of Grace, because I’m sure she would probably find ways to dissect this film in ways that I hadn’t even considered. However, in the end, I decided to take on the responsibility myself. After all, it’s my DVR that’s being cleaned out here. Besides, I’m currently trying to get Val addicted to an old 90s sitcom called Hang Time so maybe I shouldn’t push my luck.
Anyway, let’s talk about Island of Grace!
Island of Grace is the story of three co-workers. They work for a company and I have to admit that I’m not really sure what exactly that company specialized in. However, the company did have a very nice conference room, one that looked a lot better than the conference room from Birdemic.
Megan (Jaycee Lynn) was raised in the church and still goes to church but she doesn’t want to admit it to anyone. She’s too busy going to parties, having fun, and looking guilty in private. When she’s given the opportunity to go on a business trip to a beach resort, she nearly forgets to pack her extremely modest bikini. Luckily, her friend reminds her. To make room for her bikini, Megan tosses her bible out of her suitcase. And, as soon as you see that bible get tossed to the side, you know something bad is about to happen…
Then there’s Chris (Samuel Potts). Chris has a huge crush on Megan. Apparently, Megan is the one who introduced him to church and now Chris basically won’t shut up about it. Even when Megan is visiting with her secular friends, Chris insists on dropping by her office and asking her if she’s going to church. Chris is painfully nice and, as a result, everyone walks all over him. Chris never complains. We’re obviously supposed to feel that he and Megan are meant for each other but, honestly, I can understand why Megan isn’t interested in pursuing a romance with him. There’s nothing dangerous or mysterious about Chris. Chris is way too nice. He also has a self-righteous streak but I got the feeling that we weren’t supposed to notice or care.
Instead, Megan is more interesting in Mark (Matthew Davis). Mark works hard and he plays hard. He’s ambitious and he’s quickly moving up in the company. However, he also has no interest in church and, as a result, he becomes the film’s designated villain. We’re supposed to look at Mark and go, “Girl, he’s no good for you!” But the thing is — Mark is sexy. Mark is dangerous. Mark is confident. Mark doesn’t let everyone walk all over him. Mark may be a jerk and he may have a girlfriend but I don’t blame Megan for being attracted to him.
Anyway, Megan, Chris, and Mark are flying to that business meeting when their airplane crashes and they end up stranded on a desert island. What’s odd is that none of them seem to be all that upset over the fact that they’re trapped on an island in the middle of nowhere. Me, I would be freaking out and I would probably be looking out for the Smoke Monster, the Man in Black, Jacob, and all the other bad things that lived on the island in Lost. Instead, Mark says that someone will come for them and then takes off his shirt and takes a dip in the ocean. Chris gets annoyed with Megan watching Mark and says a prayer or two. And Megan … well, Megan sharpens a stick and tries to catch fish. She never catches any and, every time she throws that stick out into the ocean, you can hear the movie Gods shouting, “This is what you get for choosing a 1950s style bikini over your bible!”
While Chris searches for food and works on a shelter, Megan and Mark flirt. Eventually, they kiss. Megan falls in love, despite the fact that Mark has a girlfriend. Even after Chris announces that he loves her, Megan continues to pine for Mark.
Until, of course, they’re rescued. Back at the office, Mark not only ignores Megan but he takes credit for everything that Chris did on the island. Chris humbly accepts that life isn’t fair and finally, Megan realizes her mistake. After glancing at the bible that she so casually tossed to the side, she meets Chris on the beach and realizes that she does love him!
So, I guess the message here is that, if you get stranded on an island, make sure there’s a Christian around because agnostics don’t know how to survive in the wilderness and constantly take credit for everyone else’s hard work.
I did think that the story actually did have some potential. Mark, Chris, and Megan each represented three differing attitudes towards life and the film’s storyline provided an opportunity to actually explore those different worldviews, in much the way that the first season of Lost used the conflicts between Jack, Locke, and Sawyer to explore issues of faith, destiny, and morality. But ultimately, Island of Grace was too heavy-handed to be effective as anything other than propaganda. (And it’s debatable whether or not the film even works as propaganda because, even after they returned to civilization, lying and cheating Mark still seemed like he would be a lot more fun to hang out with than Chris.) Jaycee Lynn did a pretty good job as Megan but otherwise, Island of Grace was forgettable.
(Lisa recently discovered that she only has about 8 hours of space left on her DVR! It turns out that she’s been recording movies from July and she just hasn’t gotten around to watching and reviewing them yet. So, once again, Lisa is cleaning out her DVR! She is going to try to watch and review 52 movies by Thanksgiving, November 24th! Will she make it? Keep checking the site to find out!)
I recorded Who Killed My Husband off of the Lifetime Movie Network on October 16th.
Who Killed My Husband opens with Detective Douglas Howell (Jim Thorburn) on top of the world! He’s recently married a fellow detective, Sophie (Andrea Bowen). He’s got a teenage daughter named Chloe (Yasmeene Ball) and Chloe may have extremely severe asthma and she may be having a hard time adjusting to her new stepmother but everything’s going to be okay, right? After all, it’s her birthday! All Doug has to do is drive out to the local bakery and pick up her birthday cake!
Doug’s life is so perfect that I’m surprised that he doesn’t have a personalized license plates that read, “Live4Eva.” Because, seriously, when everything’s going this perfect, there’s no way that some sudden tragedy could occur, right?
Well, if that was the case, there wouldn’t be many Lifetime movies. And, just because of this movie’s title, we already know what’s going to happen to Doug before he even steps into that bakery…
Doug picks up his cake but then he notices that a mysterious man in a hoodie is loitering inside the bakery. “Hey,” Doug says, “this place is closed.” (That’s not an exact quote and no, I’m not going to rewatch the damn film just to get the exact quote. It’s close enough.) The man turns around, draws a gun, and shoots Doug!
TRAGEDY!
Anyway, Sophie spends a while on desk duty but eventually, her brother — who also happens to be her boss — gives her an undercover assignment. Apparently, someone is embezzling money from the local cybertech company. Sophie’s given a job at the company and she’s also given an office! Fortunately, everyone who works at the company is always having incriminating conversations right outside her office. That should make it easy to solve the case. Except…
That’s right, there’s a twist! First off, the owner of the company is mysteriously blown up and his wife doesn’t seem to care. Sophie finds herself attracted to a coworker but wonders if she can trust him. Then, when she’s climbing a wall as a part of team-building exercise, she nearly plunges to her death! There’s more than just embezzlement going on at this company and somehow, it’s related to her husband’s death.
Does that sound complicated? It really isn’t. This is pretty much a typical Lifetime film and you’ll be able to guess who the bad guy is pretty easily. Probably the most interesting thing about the mystery subplot is that it gives us a chance to view Lifetime’s version of what it’s like to work for Google. You thought that the companies portrayed in Silicon Valley were cut throat? Just check out Who Killed My Husband!
I did, however, like the film’s other subplot. After her father’s death, Chloe resents her mother and Sophie struggles to connect with her stepdaughter. Chloe is taken seriously ill during the investigation and Sophie has to balance solving the mystery with taking care of her daughter. That was sweet. I have asthma and I was a rebellious teenager so I related to Chloe.
Otherwise, this was pretty much a typical and kind of forgettable little Lifetime film. If you enjoy Lifetime films, this is a pleasant little time waster. If you’re not into Lifetime movies, Who Killed My Husband probably won’t change your mind.
(Lisa recently discovered that she only has about 8 hours of space left on her DVR! It turns out that she’s been recording movies from July and she just hasn’t gotten around to watching and reviewing them yet. So, once again, Lisa is cleaning out her DVR! She is going to try to watch and review 52 movies by Thanksgiving, November 24th! Will she make it? Keep checking the site to find out!)
I recorded 2 Lava 2 Lantula off of the SyFy Network on August 6th.
A sequel to last year’s sleeper hit, Lavalantula, 2 Lava 2 Lantula aired shortly after SyFy’s 2016 Shark Week. Naturally, I watched and live tweeted it. I have to admit that my 2 Lava 2 Lantula live tweet was probably one of my weaker live tweets of the summer. For whatever reason, my naturally brilliant wit failed me on that night. That’s not the fault of the film, which is wonderfully snark-worthy and was obviously made to appeal to live tweeters like me. Maybe I was just tired. After all, I was still recovering from the epic Sharknado 4 live tweet.
It’s pretty much impossible to talk about the Lavalantula films without also talking about the Sharknado franchise. Even more so than the first film, 2 Lava 2 Lantula is, for all intents and purposes, a Sharknado film, with the sharks replaced by giant spiders and Steve Guttenberg playing the Ian Ziering role. Otherwise, both franchises feature the same campy sense of humor and over the top sensibility. Both franchises share a love for (deliberately) cartoonish CGI and callbacks to other cult films. These are films that wink at the audience and say, “We’re in on the joke … are you?” It’s easy to imagine that, if Ian Ziering and Tara Reid ever start demanding too much money to appear in another Sharknado, Steve Guttenberg and the Lavalantula crew could step in and take their place without missing a beat.
(Ian Ziering even made a cameo appearance in the first Lavalantula, establishing that both franchises take place in the same cinematic universe.)
Wisely, 2 Lava 2 Lantula doesn’t waste any time getting started. The film opens with fire-breathing spiders suddenly showing up in Florida and it doesn’t devote much time to worrying about how they showed up. The important thing is that they’re there, they’re breathing fire, and somebody has to save the world. Luckily, film star Colton West (Guttenberg, of course) is in Florida, shooting a cop movie. He and his friend, Marty (Michael Winslow), saved Los Angeles in the first film. Now, they’re going to save Florida!
They’re also going to have to save his daughter, Raya (Michele Weaver), who is fleeing through a burning Miami with her friend, Daniella (Lorynn York). Daniella has a nasty lavalantula burn on her shoulder and, if you’re familiar with SyFy films, you can already guess what’s going to eventually burst out of Daniella’s back. That’s one thing about 2 Lava 2 Lantula: it knows, understands, and respects the rules of SyFy.
There’s a scene where Colton is confronted by some soldiers who refuses to let him drive into a restricted zone. Colton tells them, “My name is Colton West, authorized movie star.” That really tells you everything that you need to know about 2 Lava 2 Lantula. It’s a film that refuses to apologize for being ludicrous. Instead, it embraces the silliness of it all. Not only does it feature giant, fire-breathing spiders and Steve Guttenberg as a badass action hero but it also finds the time to throw in homages to everything from Dr. Strangelove to Independence Day. Colton’s speech on why Florida is the best should do a lot to help that beleaguered state feel better about itself.
Whether you’ll like 2 Lava 2 Lantula depends on whether or not you like SyFy films in general. If you’re not a fan of SyFy’s aesthetic style … well, then you probably wouldn’t be watching a film called 2 Lava 2 Lantula in the first place. But, for the rest of us, this is a fun little movie that promises fire-breathing spiders and delivers.
