Film Review: Wild 90 (dir by Norman Mailer)


Produced, directed, financed by, and starring writer Norman Mailer, 1968’s Wild 90 is incomprehensibly bad.  Words escape me when it comes to describing just how boring and pointless this film.

Over the course of four nights, Mailer and two of his friends were filmed in a shabby apartment.  Norman Mailer played The Prince, a gangster who talks tough and is constantly doing stuff like punching the room’s only hanging lightbulb.  Buzz Farber and Mickey Knox played Cameo and Twenty Years, the Prince’s partners in crime.  Acclaimed documentarian D.A. Pennebaker served as cinematographer, using a hand-held camera to capture the three men as they drank, laughed, fought, and pretended to be gangsters.

The plot of the film is not easy to describe, both because the entire film was improvised and also because the soundtrack is so muddy that it’s often impossible to understand what anyone’s saying.  As far as I can tell, the Prince’s latest criminal scheme has gone south and the Prince and his two cronies are hiding out in the apartment until the heat dies down.  They don’t have much to do, other than drink and exchange profane dialogue.  (The three men do their best to sound like real-life, poetically crude gangsters.  It’s hard to judge how well they do any of that because the dialogue is often incomprehensible.)  Some people drop by the apartment.  Normally, that would liven things up but in this one, everyone just seems like they want to leave before Norman Mailer accidentally punches them.  One man comes in a with a dog that start barking.  Mailer barks back until the dog falls silent.

Making all of this interesting is the fact that, in the 1960s, Norman Mailer was one of America’s leading public intellectuals.  Today, living in the age of influencers, it can be easy to forget that there were once public intellectuals, like Mailer, William F. Buckley, Gore Vidal, John Kenneth Galbraith, and Tom Wolfe, who disagreements were followed by the public and who made headlines when they showed up drunk on the daytime talk shows.  Mailer was an acclaimed and often controversial writer, one who was as famous for his arrogance and his public feuds as for his novels and essays. Mailer was a New York fixture and a Pulitzer Prize winner  He was one of the first writers to suggest that the Left and the Right could be united by a shared belief in individual freedom.  A year after the release of Wild 90, Mailer ran an ill-fated campaign for mayor of New York City.  His slogan was “No more bullshit!” and his campaign, which attracted some attention early on, was ultimately sabotaged by his habit of showing up drunk to his rallies and insulting his supporters.

What he was not was a very good filmmaker.  Wild 90 was Mailer’s first film and it’s a nearly unwatchable disaster.  (At least his later film, Maidstone, had Rip Torn around to liven things up.)  With its low-budget, black-and-white look and it’s DIY aesthetic, Wild 90 may remind some of the Andy Warhol’s Factory films but Warhol (or, if we’re to be absolutely honest, Paul Morrissey) was at least trying to be subversive.  Wild 90, on the other hand, is pure self-indulgence, a chance for Mailer to say, “Look how funny I am!”  Farbar and Knox at least manage to give semi-believable performances.  Mailer continually looks straight at the camera and seems to panic whenever either of his co-stars start to take the attention off of him.  The entire film seems to be Mailer’s attempt to convince everyone that he really was a tough guy.

There is one moment of the film that does work.  The film opens with some gorgeously shabby images of lower Manhattan. Norman Mailer was a proud New Yorker so it’s appropriate that the best part of the film is the part that highlights the city he loved.

SHANE (The TV Series) – Episode 2: The Hant (aired September 17th, 1966)


Shane (David Carradine) is awakened in the night by the sound of someone outside his bunk. He sees an old man (John Qualen) looking in the window. He grabs his gun and gets outside in time to see the old man driving off over the ridge in a horse drawn buggy. The next morning Shane is telling Mr. Starett (Tom Tully), Marian (Jill Ireland) and Joey (Chris Shea) about what had happened during the night. At this point, Shane seems unsure if it was even real. They muse that it may have been a “hant,” or a ghost.

Shane takes Joey to Grafton’s General store. While he’s trying on some new leather boots, he accidentally bumps into a drunk cowboy (Carl Reindel) causing his whiskey to spill. The drunk confronts Shane. Shane is able to beat up the cowboy without having to kill him. And then the same old man from the night before comes in and just looks at every man in the bar. He appears to be searching for someone. He comes up to Shane and says, “You’re Shane.” Shane doesn’t remember the old man, and the old man just turns and leaves. 

That night, Marian, unable to sleep walks outside and sees Shane talking to the old man. Shane tells her he’s an old friend that she should go back to bed. Shane invites him into his bunkhouse. That night the old man tells Shane that he killed his son 4 years earlier in Black Falls, CO. He even shows Shane a picture of his son. Shane doesn’t remember him at first. As he looks at the picture, he begins to have short flashbacks of the young man. He’s eventually able to remember the entire exchange with the young man in a saloon in Colorado. He did kill the man, but it was in self defense. He tells the old man that he did kill his son and that he’s sorry. He tells him that it was either his son or him, and that’s the only reason he killed him. Shane then asks the old man what he wants…. I won’t spoil it for you, but the answer was surprising! 

Episode 2 is all about Shane being haunted by his past. David Carradine does the heavy lifting as his character tries to come to terms with the fact that he’s killed so many men that he can’t even remember them all. He even considers leaving the Starett ranch because he’s concerned that other people could show up in the future wanting to get vengeance on him. Old man Starett isn’t involved in the action at all in this episode. Marian is mostly there to encourage Shane to not be so hard on himself. There is a scene where he puts a blanket on her when he’s about to leave the ranch for good. She’s sleeping and takes Shane by the hand like she’s touching her husband’s hand. It will be interesting to see how far the series takes their relationship, but that will be for another episode. And Joey is not very involved outside of telling the family about Shane kicking the drunk cowboy’s butt early in the episode. I could hear “Linus” a little bit in his voice since I know that he would be voicing the character that same year in “It’s the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown.” That was pretty cool. John Qualen is good in his guest starring role as the old man whose son was killed by Shane in the past. Qualen has been in so many TV shows and movies in his career going back to the early 30’s. He’s a very recognizable actor. 

All in all, I thought this was a solid episode. There was some real tension built up at the end of the when Shane is confronted again by that same drunk cowboy, and I was a little surprised by the resolution. 

Music Video of the Day: Look Back In Anger by David Bowie (1979, dir by David Mallet)


Today’s music video of the day comes to us from David Bowie, who would have been 78 years old on this day.

Look Back In Anger has nothing to do with the John Osborne play of the same name but the music video is based on The Picture of Dorian Gray.

Enjoy!

Late Night Retro Television Review: Pacific Blue 1.1 “Pilot”


Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Tuesdays, I will be reviewing Pacific Blue, a cop show that aired from 1996 to 2000 on the USA Network!  It’s currently streaming everywhere, though I’m watching it on Tubi.

Last month, we finished up Baywatch Nights.  For our next show, we have Pacific Blue, which was often described as being Baywatch On Bikes.  Before watching the episode reviewed below, I had only seen one previous episosde of Pacific Blue.  I was in Rome and the episode was dubbed into Italian.

As I sit here typing this, it is currently 32 degrees and windy outside.  On Thursday, we’re supposed to get hit with ice and snow.  Fortunately, on Pacific Blue, it’s forever summer!  Let’s dive right in with the first episode!

Episode 1.1 “Pilot”

(Dir by Ralph Hemecker, originally aired on March 2nd, 1996)

Welcome to Santa Monica in the 90s!

The skies are sunny, the ocean is blue, everyone’s wearing a bikini or a swimsuit, and the cops are on bikes!

The pilot for Pacific Blue opens with Officers Victor Del Toro (Marcos A. Ferraez) and Cory McNamara (Paula Trickey) riding their bikes down the boardwalk and talking about how criminals and even citizens often don’t pay them enough respect because they’re on bicycles.  And, to be honest, they do look pretty silly riding their bicycles with their grim “I am the Law” facial expressions.  Judge Dredd would never be caught dead on a bicycle.

When Victor and Cory catch a couple of graffiti-spraying vandals, they get to show off what they can do with their bicycles.  “They can run but we can fly,” Victor says as he takes off after the fleeing vandals.  And …. no, sorry.  The bikes still look dorky.  I don’t care how many bad guys the bike cops capture.  The dark shorts and the crisp white t-shirts and the Schwinn bicycles, none of it is intimidating.

Chris Kelly (Darlene Vogel) was once a hotshot Navy pilot until her eyesight dipped below 20/20 and she was discharged.  (You have to have 20/20 eyesight to fly a plane?  Well, I’ll add that to my list of things that I will never be allowed to do!)  Chris joined the Santa Monica police force and found herself assigned to tell kids not to go off with strangers while wearing a milk carton costume.  After Chris catches some drug dealers (again, while dressed up like a milk carton), she is transferred out of public relations and over to …. BIKE PATROL!

Her new boss, Tony Palermo (Rick Rossovich), explains that Chris will require three days of bicycle training before she’s officially a member of Bike Patrol.  In one montage, Chris learns how to ride a bike like a …. well, I would say like a “badass,” except for the fact that she’s on a dorky Schwinn.  She is then partnered up with TC Callaway (Jim Davidson), who orders her to lose the attitude when it comes to riding her bike.  No one is too good for bike patrol!

TC’s girlfriend, Sandy (Cindy Ambuehl), thinks TC should get a job working for his wealthy father.  TC’s younger brother agrees.  But TC loves the beach.  He loves chasing criminals.  He loves riding his bike!  TC was born to work with ocean in the distance and sand getting stuck in the spokes of his bike,

Speaking of criminals, someone has stolen Mayor Mickey Dolenz’s car.  (Mickey Dolenz appears as himself.)  The Bike Patrol takes down a bunch of car thieves and closes down their chop shop.  It’s a standard cop show plot but keep in mind that this is just the first episode.  The purpose of a first episode is to introduce all the characters and explain the premise of the show.  And that’s what this pilot did so technically, this episode has to be considered a success.

The only problem — and I have a feeling that I’ll be coming back to this point frequently over the next two years or so — is that the Bike Patrol looks incredibly dorky.  Pacific Blue was obviously meant to capitalize on the success of Baywatch but the thing with Baywatch is that, as incredibly dumb as that show could be, the slow motion running looked cool.  The members of the Bike Patrol riding their bikes up and down the beach just look silly.

That said, the beach scenery was nice to look at and this show does seem like it might have the potential to be fun in a so-bad-it’s-good sort of way.  So, we’ll see what happens.  By the end of this month, I’ll either be happy that I picked this show to review or I’ll be cursing my terrible judgment.  We’ll find out soon enough.

Documentary Review: William Shatner’s Mysteries of the Gods (dir by Harald Reinl and Charlie Romine)


First released in 1976, the German documentary Mysteries of the Gods raises the same questions that were asked by Chariots of the Gods and it offers up the same answers.  How did ancient man build the pyramids?  Aliens!  How were the giant statues of Easter Island moved to their final resting place?  Aliens!  Who created Stonehenge?  Aliens!  Who drew the South American ley lines?  Aliens!  Who took Elijah, Gilgamesh, and Enoch up into the sky?  Aliens!  Who is responsible for religion?  Aliens!

Mysteries of the Gods was made by the same people who did Chariots of the Gods but it’s less a continuation and more of a remake.  The only new thing that Mysteries of the Gods brought to the table was the suggestion that the governments of the world knew about the aliens and that they were, in some cases, working with the aliens.  I’ve already made my feelings about those theories clear.  I’m a skeptic and I’m proud of it.  Still, it’s interesting to wonder what type of advice the aliens would have given the world leaders.  I mean, considering everything that has happened over the past 66 years, it doesn’t appear to be very good advice!

Seriously, tell those dumbass aliens to go home and mess around with their own planet.

When Mysteries of the Gods came over to the United States, it was decided that the film needed a bit more of an American feel to it.  The original’s German narrator would have to go.  But who could replace him?  Who had the gravitas necessary to seriously discuss the theory of ancient astronauts?  Who would draw in the science fiction crowd while possibly still appealing to people who didn’t know much about the history of UFO sightings?  Who would have the proper enthusiasm for the project?  Who was reasonably famous but still enough in need of a paycheck that they would agree to be associated with something as shoddy as Mysteries of the Gods?

We all know the answer to that question.

And if the American distributors were going to pay William Shatner to re-record the film’s narration, why not take full advantage of his presence and film some scenes of him interviewing various psychics and scientists?  Why not have him wax rhapsodic about a crystal skull while actually holding the artifact?  Why not have him actually visiting the locations described in the documentary?  Why not put him in a green turtleneck and a black jacket and present him as being the hip face of pseudo-science?  And why not change the title of the film to William Shatner’s Mysteries of the Gods, implying that Shatner himself had something substantial to do with the making of the film?

And let’s give credit where credit is due.  Mysteries of the Gods is a ludicrous documentary that provides even less evidence for its fantastical claim than Chariot of the Gods did.  But the American version of the film is worth watching, just to see William Shatner trying to repress his natural smirk while reciting the film’s overwrought narration.  Shatner appears to be amused by the whole thing and he definitely comes across as being a good sport as he gamely interview a series of crackpots who are all convinced they’ve cracked some sort of alien code.  The film ends on a triumphant note, with psychic Jeanne Dixon telling an excited Shatner that aliens will visit Earth in April of 1977.

Now, you may say that Dixon was incorrect.  There’s no record of aliens coming to Earth in 1977.  Maybe that’s just what they want you to believe!  To quote the Amazing Criswell, can you prove it didn’t happen?

Quick Review: The Sorcerer’s Apprentice (dir. by Jon Turteltaub)


The Sorcerer’s Apprentice may be one of Disney’s better Live Action features. Borrowing from a small segment in Disney’s Fantasia, it builds a pretty cool story and still manages to pay homage to the original in it’s own way. Executive Produced by and starring Nicolas Cage, the film reunites him with his National Treasure director, Jon Turteltaub.

In the Dark Ages, the great wizard Merlin fought a major battle against the evil Morgana (Alice Krige, Star Trek: First Contact). At his side were his three apprentices, Veronica (Monica Bellucci, Beetlejuice Beetlejuice), Horvath (Alfred Molina, Prince of Persia) and Balthazar (Nicolas Cage). When Horvath betrays Merlin, both he and Morgana are defeated, contained in a layer of nesting dolls. Veronica is also part of the doll as she sacrifices herself to keep Morgana at bay. In order for Morgana to be destroyed, however, this can only be done by the Prime Merlinian, a Sorcerer of unimaginable power. To find the Prime Merlinian, Balthazar is given a ring for him to use.

When young Dave Stutler encounters Balthazar in his curio shop, we find that the ring does react to him and he may very well be the Prime Merlinian. Dave accidentally frees Horvath from the nesting doll and is saved by Balthazar before the pair of sorercers are trapped in an urn. 10 Years Pass (to the day), causing an event where both Horvath and Balthazar are freed. Can Balthazar train Dave (Jay Baruchel, Goon) in time to defeat Morgana, especially when Dave’s attentions are more focused on the girl of his dreams, Becky(Teresa Palmer, Netflix’s A Discovery of Witches)?

Thoughout his career, one of Cage’s magical traits is that he fully throws himself into a role. Not so much ‘method’ as maybe a Jeremy Strong (which may be more over the top), but he brings his own style to the mix. There isn’t a Cage character that isn’t enriched by the performances he brings to the table. For The Sorcerer’s Apprentice, he’s slightly subdued, but still carries the moxie he had in fllms like Face/Off, The Rock or even Mandy. He does make for a good father figure in this film.

Of course, the supporting cast is great. Molina makes for a nice villain in Horvath, with Toby Kebbell (Rock-n-Rolla) as an evil apprentice. Baruchel’s performance is pretty similar to what he did for How to Train Your Dragon, which made him perfect for this.

Building off of the National Treasure films, there’s as much humor in The Sorcerer’s Apprentice as there is adventure. After all, we are dealing with a tale of magic and wizards. There’s a cool car chase and a nice final confrontation. The connecting scene to Fantasia is a cute one, with magical brooms and mops trying to clean the workshop was a nice touch. The main theme of the story is just learning to believe in oneself and trust in what you’re capable of.

Insomnia Film #67: Why (dir by Victor Stoloff)


What’s an Insomnia File? You know how some times you just can’t get any sleep and, at about three in the morning, you’ll find yourself watching whatever you can find on cable or streaming? This feature is all about those insomnia-inspired discoveries!

If you’re having trouble getting to sleep tonight, you can always go over to either YouTube or Tubi and pull up Why, an obscure film from 1973 that has a semi-interesting cast.

The plot of Why is simple.  Six people gather at their psychiatrist’s mansion for group therapy.  Dr. Peter Carlson (played by Herb Goldberg, an actual psychiatrist) asks the members of the group questions and asks them to do things like try to imagine a moment that made them truly happy.  The members of the group discuss their problems and …. well, that’s pretty much it.

Who is in the group?  Jeannie Berlin plays Gail, a single mother who has been rejected by her family because she had an out-of-wedlock child with a black man.  Cathy Bleich plays Jennifer, who claims to be a teacher but who is also a pathological liar.  Linda Gillen is Christine, a rich teenager who is two-months pregnant and who is implied to be addicted to heroin.  Danny Goldman plays Bill, a suicidal gay man.  Musician Tim Buckley plays musician Glenn, who can’t get over his band breaking up.  And, playing a professional athlete named Bud, is O.J. Simpson.  “I smoke dope,” Bud says at one point before going on to explain why he thinks its important to be a good role model.

Why is an odd film.  It starts out with a lengthy animated sequence (complete with a hippie-style song) and then settles into being a stagey film that feels more like an extended acting exercise than an actual narrative.  It’s a talky film and some of the monologues work while others fall flat.  The best performances are given by Danny Goldman, Tim Buckley, and Linda Gillen but I imagine most people who watch this film will be giving most of their attention to O.J. Simpson, who talks about resenting the pressure to always be perfect.  In the end, there are no real break-throughs and one could argue that makes this the most realistic depiction of therapy ever filmed.

Reportedly, the film start out as a short film starring O.J. Simpson and Tim Buckley that was commissioned by Technicolor to see if video could be transferred to film.  The decision was made to expand the short into a feature.  The actors improvised during rehearsal and those improvs served as the basis for the script.  Again, this will probably be most interesting to people looking for hints into what it was like inside of O.J. Simpson’s head.  (O.J.’s character comes across as being friendly but guarded and quick to get angry about women in general.)

Again, it’s a talky film.  At times, it’s a rather boring film.  Many of the monologues start out strong but they tend to go on and on. Why might cure you of your insomnia.  That said, the film is interesting from a historical point of view.  It’s all very 70s, revealing a group of people trying to navigate a world that was still trying to figure out where they stood in the years immediately following the turmoil of 60s.  The characters have a brand new world ahead of them and none of them know if that’s a good thing or a bad thing.  Some things never change.

Previous Insomnia Files:

  1. Story of Mankind
  2. Stag
  3. Love Is A Gun
  4. Nina Takes A Lover
  5. Black Ice
  6. Frogs For Snakes
  7. Fair Game
  8. From The Hip
  9. Born Killers
  10. Eye For An Eye
  11. Summer Catch
  12. Beyond the Law
  13. Spring Broke
  14. Promise
  15. George Wallace
  16. Kill The Messenger
  17. The Suburbans
  18. Only The Strong
  19. Great Expectations
  20. Casual Sex?
  21. Truth
  22. Insomina
  23. Death Do Us Part
  24. A Star is Born
  25. The Winning Season
  26. Rabbit Run
  27. Remember My Name
  28. The Arrangement
  29. Day of the Animals
  30. Still of The Night
  31. Arsenal
  32. Smooth Talk
  33. The Comedian
  34. The Minus Man
  35. Donnie Brasco
  36. Punchline
  37. Evita
  38. Six: The Mark Unleashed
  39. Disclosure
  40. The Spanish Prisoner
  41. Elektra
  42. Revenge
  43. Legend
  44. Cat Run
  45. The Pyramid
  46. Enter the Ninja
  47. Downhill
  48. Malice
  49. Mystery Date
  50. Zola
  51. Ira & Abby
  52. The Next Karate Kid
  53. A Nightmare on Drug Street
  54. Jud
  55. FTA
  56. Exterminators of the Year 3000
  57. Boris Karloff: The Man Behind The Monster
  58. The Haunting of Helen Walker
  59. True Spirit
  60. Project Kill
  61. Replica
  62. Rollergator
  63. Hillbillys In A Haunted House
  64. Once Upon A Midnight Scary
  65. Girl Lost
  66. Ghosts Can’t Do It

Lisa Reviews An Oscar Nominee: Moonstruck (dir by Norman Jewison)


Nominated for Best Picture of 1987, Moonstruck is a film about love, romance, New York City, and being Italian.

Loretta Castorini (Cher) is a widow and a bookkeeper who lives with her parents, Cosmo (Vincent Gardenia) and Rose (Olympia Dukakis) in Brooklyn.  When her boyfriend, Johnny (Danny Aiello), asks Loretta to marry him, Loretta says yes even though she knows that, while she likes him, she’s not really in love with him.  After he proposes, Johnny reveals that he has to go to Sicily to see his “dying” mother.  He asks Loretta to pay a visit to his estranged brother, Ronny (Nicolas Cage), and invite him to the wedding.  Loretta, a strong believer in family and the importance of following tradition, agrees.

Loretta finds Ronny working in the bakery that he owns.  Ronny is not thrilled to learn that his brother has gotten engaged.  Ronny reveals that he has a wooden hand.  He lost his real hand when he accidentally placed it in a bread slicer while having a conversation with Johnny.  After he lost his hand, Ronny’s then-fiancée left him.  Ronny has never forgiven Johnny for the loss of his hand.  “I lost my hand!  I lost my bride!”  Ronny yells to the heavens.  Loretta, however, immediately understands that Johnny actually hurt his hand to get his fiancée to break up with him.  A conversation at Ronny’s apartment leads to the two of them impulsively sleeping with each other.  The next day, Ronny promises to never bother Loretta again if she agrees to go the opera with him.

What the guilt-stricken Loretta doesn’t know is that her father is having an affair himself and it turns out that Cosmo and Mona (Rose Gilette) enjoy the opera as well.  Meanwhile, Rose finds herself tempted by a lecherous college professor named Perry (John Mahoney).

There’s a lot of stereotypes to be found in Moonstruck.  Of course, passionate Ronny loves the opera.  Of course, the simple but well-intentioned Johnny abandons his fiancée so that he can rush to Sicily to be with his “dying” mother who, it turns out, isn’t dying at all.  Of course, Loretta slaps Ronny and tells him to snap out of it.  (I should note that I’m a fourth Italian myself so I could definitely relate to some of this film.  I’ve never liked opera, though.)  Fortunately, the film’s cast is so perfectly chosen and John Patrick Shanley’s script so adroitly maintains the balance between the broad comedy and the small dramatic moments that it doesn’t matter that all of the characters are a bit stereotypical.  The film comes to a wonderful life.  It’s impossible not love these characters, flaws and all.  Cher and Olympia Dukakis deserved the Oscars that they both won for this film.  Vincent Gardenia deserved the nomination that he received.  Nicolas Cage, Danny Aiello, and John Mahoney were not nominated but they should have been.  In particular, John Mahoney is heart-breaking in his small role, playing the type of lecherous character that most films would have just portrayed as being a cardboard buffoon.  As for Nicolas Cage, Moonstruck is a film that features both his trademark eccentricity and his ability to show the real and vulnerable human being underneath all of the bluster.  Moonstruck is a film about the search for love and the glory of finding it.  It’s a wonderfully romantic film, even if almost all of that love seems to involve infidelity.  As directed by Norman Jewison, Moonstruck not only celebrates falling in love but also celebrates being lucky enough to do so in New York City.  It’s a love letter not just to its characters but to the city as well.

Moonstruck was nominated for Best Picture but it lost to a far more epic production, The Last Emperor.

 

 

 

Game Review: Get There On Time! (2024, Leticia Fox)


You’re awake!  Your day has just begun!  Can you get there on time!?

Get There On Time! is a game that I think everyone can relate to.  Each day, you wake up.  You are determined to get there on time.  Where is there?  It doesn’t matter.  You just have to get there on time.  Can you do it?

Get There On Time! is short and simple.  It’s a game in that you are given a selection of options but, just as in real life, some times it doesn’t matter how many options you are given.  This really is more of an existential joke than a traditional game, with each choice leading to the inevitable punchline.  But it’s a joke that everyone can relate to.

Click here to play Get There On Time!