Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Wednesdays, I will be reviewing the original Love Boat, which aired on ABC from 1977 to 1986!  The series can be streamed on Paramount Plus!

Merry Christmas!

Episode 4.11 “That’s My Dad/Captive Audience/The Captain’s Bird”

(Dir by Allen Baron, originally aired on December 20th, 1980)

It’s time for the Love Boat’s annual Christmas cruise and, appropriately enough, this cruise is all about family.

For instance, Captain Stubing has decided that the perfect Christmas gift for Vicki would be a parrot.  After the bird is brought on board, Stubing decides that the perfect place to hide it would be in Gopher’s cabin.  Gopher goes along with this because it’s something of a miracle that he hasn’t been fired yet.  I mean, when you’ve screwed up as much as Gopher has, you’re not really in a position to argue with your boss.  The only problem with all of this is that the parrot won’t talk.  Stubing isn’t happy about that so Isaac and Gopher try to teach the bird to sing a Christmas carol.  Instead, the bird starts saying, “Captain Stubing is a jerk!”  Uh-oh!

Meanwhile, singer Bobby Braddock (Jack Jones, who sang The Love Boat theme song) boards the ship with his wife, Susan (Laraine Stephens).  What Bobby doesn’t know is that his father, Richard (Allan Jones), and his mother, Lil (Dorothy Lamour), are also on the ship.  Bobby got his start as a part of Richard’s act and Richard has never forgiven Bobby for going solo.  Julie, Lil, and Susan all hope that they can bring father and son back together again.  Needless to say, Richard doesn’t appreciate being tricked into boarding a boat with his son.  He grimaces while listening to Bobby sing Winter Wonderland and then storms out of the lounge when Julie asks him to join his son on stage.  Merry Christmas, I guess!

Still, as bad as Bobby Braddock has it, it’s nothing compared to what’s going on with young Scotty (Meeno Peluce).  Looking to escape an abusive life at home, Scotty sneaks on board the ship by telling the crew that another passenger, Jeff Dalton (Dirk Benedict), is his father.  Scotty then proceeds to follow Jeff around the boat.  Jeff has no idea that everyone thinks that he is Scotty’s father.  When Jeff meets a woman and politely tells Scotty to scram, the crew is scandalized.  When Stubing sees the bruises on Scotty’s back, he assumes that Jeff is responsible.

Well, don’t worry.  Things may look bleak at the halfway mark but everything works out in the end.  Jeff realizes that maybe he would like to be a father to a random runaway.  Richard realizes that he can forgive his son for wanting to make his own way.  Crew members dress up like Santa Claus and Vicki has a happy holiday on the ocean.

You know what?  This was a silly episode but I enjoyed it.  I’m a sucker for Christmas episodes and this one had enough comedy and drama to keep me entertained and the story involving Scotty and Jeff even touched my heart a little.  This was definitely a cruise worth taking.