Late Night Retro Television Review: Baywatch Nights 1.21 “A Closer Look”


Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Tuesdays, I will be reviewing Baywatch Nights, a detective show that ran in Syndication from 1995 to 1997.  The entire show is currently streaming on You tube!

Mitch has yet another old friend who needs help!

Episode 1.21 “A Closer Look”

(Dir by Bernard L. Kowalski, originally aired on May 11th, 1996)

Another old friend of Mitch’s had a problem.

Seriously, how many old friends does Mitch have and why are all of them always getting involved in something dangerous?  And why is it always Mitch’s responsibility to help them out?  I mean, doesn’t Mitch ever just want to tell them to take care of their own problems?  Mitch isn’t Superman, after all.  He’s a middle-aged guy who is already struggling to balance his day job with his night job.  STAND UP FOR YOURSELF, MITCH!

Anyway, Dewey Morgan (Gary Collins, looking like Robert Redford in All Is Lost) is worried that his model wife, McKenna (Lisa Schad), has been replaced by an imposter.  As he explains it, she’s been different ever since she returned from a health spa.  She looks the same but there’s just all sorts of little differences.  It’s the type of things that only an intimate acquaintance — like a husband, for instance — would notice.

Mitch is skeptical.  He thinks that maybe Dewey is just upset because McKenna has recently left him and is now finding success as a model.  Still, Mitch decides to investigate because Dewey is an old friend.  It’s never really made clear how Mitch and Dewey became friends in the first place but Dewey does spend a lot of time in a wet suit and on a surf board.  So, I guess having a shared love of having a mid-life crisis on a beach is the bond that holds Mitch and Dewey together.

Personally, I think it would have been interesting if Mitch and Ryan had discovered that McKenna actually was McKenna and Dewey really was some sort of unbalanced stalker.  That would have been a nicely unexpected twist and it would also have forced Mitch to reconsider his loyalty to all of his old friends.  It would have given the show a chance to say something about the dangers of a beach bum having a mid-life crisis.  But that’s just not the Baywatch Nights way.  It turns out that the real McKenna is dead and the woman claiming to be Dewey’s wife is an imposter.

Usually, I enjoy melodramatic nonsense like this but this episode featured both a murder and an attempted murder and all of that violence felt somewhat out-of-place.  Baywatch Nights works best as goofy fun.  Having people actually die kind of takes away from the goofiness and it makes me wonder how Mitch is holding up mentally.  I mean, he just wanted to make some extra money as a private investigator.  Instead, he’s being regularly exposed to the worst that humanity has to offer.

The first season is nearly over and that’s good because, as this rambling review might indicate to the careful reader, I’m getting kind of bored with it.  The second season is a lot of fun because Mitch and Ryan spend 22 episodes dealing with aliens, vampires, and Vikings!  But, before we can get to all that, there’s one more first season episode to go.

We’ll deal with it next week.

Film Review: The Man I Married (dir by Irving Pichel)


In 1940’s The Man I Married, Joan Bennett stars as Carol Cabbott Hoffman.

Carol is a New York-based art critic.  She is young, sophisticated, wealthy, and politically naive.  Because she has been married to a German for seven years, she has been keeping up with what has been happening in Germany but it’s clear that she doesn’t really understand the full story of what she’s hearing.  As she says, at one point, she has heard bad things about the Nazis but she also tries to keep an open mind and not get drawn in by “propaganda.”

Her husband, Eric Hoffman (Francis Lederer), has not been back to Germany in ten years and he says that he has little interest in ever returning.  But, when he receives a letter from his father (Otto Kruger), Eric announces that he has to return home for a visit.  Before Carol, Eric, and their son, Ricky (Johnny Russell), leave for Germany, they are approached by their friend, Dr. Hugo Gerhardt (Ludwig Stossel).  He explains that his brother has been imprisoned in a concentration camp and he asks Carol and Eric to deliver money to him and to appeal to the American embassy for help.  Carol agrees to do so.  Eric is noticeably reticent.

As soon as they arrive in Germany and Eric learns that his father wants him to take over the family’s factory, Eric starts to change.  He and a former schoolmate named Freida (Anna Sten) are a bit too happy to see each other again.  Eric insists on listening to the nightly radio broadcasts from Dr. Goebbels.  When Freida mentions that it is illegal to joke about Hitler, Eric surprises Carol by defending the law.  With Eric spending all of his time with Freida and dismissing Carol’s understandable suspicions by saying that she’s just being jealous, Carol meets an American correspondent named Keith (Lloyd Nolan) who reveals to her the truth of life in Nazi Germany.  Carol discovers that, rather than being the economically-strong paradise that Eric and Freida claim it to be, Germany is a place where many citizens live in fear of being heard saying the wrong thing and, as a result, they’ve chosen to close their eyes to what is going on around them.

The Man I Married is an interesting film.  It’s an anti-Nazi film that was released at a time when America was still technically a neutral nation.  Indeed, the film almost feels like it was made to prepare Americans for the inevitability of war with Germany.  When Keith mocks Carol for trying to be neutral about the Nazis, it’s clear that he’s meant to be speaking to the audience watching the film.  Eric begins the film as an erudite and seemingly charming man but, as soon as he arrives in Germany and is reunited with Freida, he reveals himself to be a fervent Nazi.  The film warns the audience not to trust those who were trying to excuse or dismiss Germany’s actions.

This is also one of the few films made before World War II that really acknowledged just how central anti-Semitism was to the Nazi ideology, acknowledging the concentration camps at a time when many in the West were refusing to admit they existed, either because they were in denial or because they just didn’t care.  Towards the end of the film, a major character is discovered to have had a Jewish mother and the reaction to the news reveals the hate that was at the heart of the Third Reich.

The Man I Married, with its portrayal of a populace that has convinced itself that their government is never to be questioned and that all dissent must be punished, is a film that feels just as relevant today as it did in 1940.  It’s a film that warns viewers of the risk of disbelieving their own eyes.

Phantom Valley (1948, directed by Ray Nazarro)


There’s trouble in Phantom Valley.  The ranchers who founded the town are increasingly at odds with the newly arrived homesteaders.  Each side blames the other for the tensions.  Marshal Steve Collins (Charles Starrett) is sent to investigate who is responsible for all of the trouble but, when two people are murdered, it is up Steve’s alter ego, the masked Durango Kid, to investigate and solve the murders.  Helping him out is his ever-loyal sidekick, Smiley Burnette.  Smiley compares himself to Sherlock Holmes, walks around with a magnifying glass, and sings a few songs.

This Durango Kid film opens with a exciting montage of cattle stampedes, shoot-outs, floods, and horse chases.  Even though it’s almost all stock footage that appeared in a countless number of other B-movies, it’s still exciting to watch.  Despite the opening montage, there’s still less stock footage than usual in Phantom Valley.  The emphasis is instead on the Durango Kid as a detective, trying to solve a stone-cold whodunit.  It makes for an interesting change of pace and the Durango Kid gets to show off his intelligence along with his shooting and horse riding skills.  Charles Starrett is convincing as a detective.  Even if he is trying to solve the case a century before finger printing, The Durango Kid knows that hand-writing is just as easy a way to identity a culprit.  Smiley Burnette, as usual, handles the comedic relief and the singing.  I could have done without the songs but Smiley trying to use a magnifying glass and losing his temporary position as the town’s marshal to a child will always be good for a laugh.

Phantom Valley was a welcome change of pace for the Durango Kid.  Western fans will find much to appreciate.

Retro Television Review: Fantasy Island 4.20 “Delphine/The Unkillable”


Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Tuesdays, I will be reviewing the original Fantasy Island, which ran on ABC from 1977 to 1984.  Almost the entire show is currently streaming on Daily Motion.

Smiles, everyone, smiles!

Episode 4.20 “Delphine/The Unkillable”

(Dir by Cliff Bole, Originally aired on April 11th, 1981)

For our first fantasy, Dr. Paul Todd (Randolph Mantooth) is a paleontologist who feels that the first life on Earth was silicon-based and that the missing link lives underneath a volcano on Fantasy Island.  He comes to the Island with his girlfriend, Liz (Annette Funicello) and his assistant, Kyle (Alex Cord).  With Roarke’s weary approval, they head off to the volcano to search for proof of Todd’s theory.

And they do find proof!  After Kyle attempts to sexually assault Liz, she falls through a crevice and finds herself in the lair of …. well, it appears to be someone who is waring a rubber suit but Paul and Kyle are convinced that they’ve found their silicon man!  (Kyle attempting to force himself on Liz is seemingly forgotten.)  The Silicon Man appears to be immortal, which proves to be a bit of problem when it decides to carry of Liz.  But then the Silicon Man falls in a pool of lava and dies so I guess he wasn’t immortal.  At the end of the show, Tattoo suggests that the The Silicon Man was made of lava and that’s why he was vulnerable to it but …. what?

Mr. Roarke doesn’t seem to be that worried about the Silicon Man or the fact that one of the island’s volcanoes is spewing lava.  He’s more concerned with his goddaughter, Delphine (Ann Jillian).

According to Roarke, Delphine is the daughter of one of the Island’s oldest families.  She has spent the last few years off the Island, working as an assistant for a magician named The Great Zachariah (Carl Ballantine).  Delphine’s secret is that she actually does have magical powers!  She’s the one who does all of Zachariah’s tricks for him.  However, Delphine now wants to marry Greg (Don Galloway) and she doesn’t want him to know that she can move stuff with her mind and make people materialize out of thin air.  Her fantasy is to lose her powers.

Zachariah, not happy about the prospect of losing his assistant, comes to the Island and teams up with fortune-telling Madame Cluny (Doris Roberts) to trick Delphine into revealing her powers and driving Greg away.  Myself, I’m not really sure I understand why her magic powers would be a deal-breaker.  I mean, Delphine can literally do anything!  And, as we see in this episode, she only uses her powers for good.  Why would Greg have a problem with that?

On the plus side, Ann Jillian (who starred in another show that I reviewed on this site, Jennifer Slept Here) gives a good performance as Delphine and it’s easy to imagine an alternate version of the show where she played Roarke’s sidekick.  On the negative side, the rest of the show and both of the fantasies are just silly and never make any sense.

This was not a memorable trip to the Island.  Seriously …. silicon?

Scenes That I Love: Jean-Paul Belmondo in Breathless


Today would have been the 91st birthday of international screen icon, Jean-Paul Belmondo.

Belmondo spent the majority of his career in France, where he was one of the early faces of the New Wave and also a prominent action star, famed for doing his own very dangerous stunts.  In America, he was best-known for his starring turn in Jean-Luc Godard’s Breathless.  In Breathless, Belmondo was the perfect existential outlaw, living life day-by-day and obviously doomed but still so incredibly magnetic and stylish.

In tribute to Belmondo, here is a scene that I love, the final moments of Breathless, with Belmondo and Jean Seberg.

4 Shots From 4 Films: Special Ward Bond Edition


4 (or more) Shots From 4 (or more) Films is just what it says it is, 4 (or more) shots from 4 (or more) of our favorite films. As opposed to the reviews and recaps that we usually post, 4 (or more) Shots From 4 (or more) Films lets the visuals do the talking.

121 years ago today, the great American character actor Ward Bond was born in Benkleman, Nebraska.  In a career that last nearly forty years, Ward Bond appeared in more than 200 films and he currently holds the record for being the actor to appear in the most films nominated for Best Picture.  (He appeared in 13 nominated films, two of which won.)  He did 22 films with John Wayne and was a favorite of both John Ford and Frank Capra.

It’s time for….

4 Shots From 4 Ward Bond Films

Gone With The Wind (1939, dir by Victor Fleming, DP: Ernest Haller)

It’s A Wonderful Life (1946, dir by Frank Capra, DP: Joseph Walker and Joseph Biroc)

The Searchers (1956, dir by John Ford, DP: Winston C. Hoch)

Rio Bravo (1959, dir by Howard Hawks, DP: Russell Harlan)

Music Video of the Day: Here For You by FireHouse (1995, directed by Nigel Dick)


Rest in Peace, C.J. Snare.  The lead singer of FireHouse passed away on April 5th.

FireHouse is interesting in that it was a glam metal band that hit it big right before the start of the Grunge revolution.  While a lot of other glam metal bands, many of which had been around far longer than FireHouse, tried to change their sound to compete with Nirvana and the other Seattle superstars, FireHouse stuck with its glam metal roots.

This video was directed by Nigel Dick, who has done music videos for practically everyone.