Late Night Retro Television Review: Baywatch Nights 2.1 “Terror of the Deep”


Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Tuesdays, I will be reviewing Baywatch Nights, a detective show that ran in Syndication from 1995 to 1997.  The entire show is currently streaming on You tube!

Tonight, we start the second season of Baywatch Nights!  It’s like an entirely new show!

Episode 2.1 “Terror Of The Deep”

(Dir by Gregory J. Bonnan, originally aired on September 29th, 1996)

The second season begins with a few changes.

The open titles are now dark and atmospheric, featuring David Hasselhoff walking through the fog.  Lou Rawls’s theme song has been replaced by a creepy but very danceable instrumental track.

Mitch, Ryan, Eddie, and Donna are all back but Garner is no longer listed in the opening credit.  Nor is he mentioned in tonight’s episode.  Instead, Mitch’s new best friend is a world traveler named Diamont Teague (Dorian Gregory).  Diamont is an expert on the paranormal.  He believes that the truth is out there.  Donna spots Diamont walking along the pier and immediately mentions how mysterious is.

No mention of Mitch being a private detective is made during the second season premiere.  Instead, this episode open with Mitch doing lifeguard things.  He rescues a woman who is discovered floating in the ocean.  The woman screams in terror after she’s resuscitated.  Diamont thinks that the woman might be a survivor of a freighter that sunk a few days previously.  Diamont also thinks that the freighter was taken down by a tentacled monster that lives in the ocean.

Largely to prove his friend wrong, Mitch recruits Eddie and Ryan to help him track down and explore the freighter.  While Ryan remains on their boat and stays in communication via radio, Eddie and Mitch dive into the ocean and explore the freighter.  Guess what? Diamont was right!  There is a tentacled monster living inside the freighter and now, it’s after Eddie and Mitch!

With this episode, Baywatch Nights totally changed directions, going from being a detective show to a somewhat goofy rip-off of The X-Files.  For the most part, the second season of Baywatch Nights was a lot of fun but you wouldn’t necessarily know it from this episode.  Terror of the Deep takes place almost entirely underwater, with Mitch and Eddie spending most of their time in wet suits that make it very difficult to figure out which one is which.  The underwater scenes are also rather darkly lit, which I assume was done to both create atmosphere and also disguise the fact that the tentacled monster wasn’t really that impressive.  However, the scenes are often so dark that it becomes difficult to tell what is actually happening on screen.  This was an episode with a simple plot that often felt incoherent because I was never quite sure where Mitch and Eddie were in the freighter or if they were even still together.

This episode also overlooks the fact that one of the best things about the first season was the playful chemistry between David Hasselhoff and Angie Harmon.  Instead, we get Mitch swimming with Eddie while Ryan stays on board the boat and is reduced to saying, “Copy that,” over and over again.  This episode really did end up feeling like a lost opportunity.

But no worries!  The rest of the second season is going to be a lot of fun.  For instance, next week, Mitch faces off against a killer mermaid!  It should be entertaining.

Retro Television Review: Fantasy Island 4.22 “Hard Knocks/Lady Godiva”


Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Tuesdays, I will be reviewing the original Fantasy Island, which ran on ABC from 1977 to 1984.  Almost the entire show is currently streaming on Daily Motion.

Welcome to Fantasy Island, where Mr. Roarke does whatever he wants.

Episode 4.22 “Hard Knocks/Lady Godiva”

(Dir by Don Weis, originally aired on May 9th, 1981)

Sheila Godfrey (Michelle Phillips) comes to Fantasy Island with a simple fantasy, one that Mr. Roarke manages to totally screw up.

Sheila grew up in Montana and loves horses.  Because she was often ill while she was growing up, she was often not allowed to ride as much as she would have liked.  Now, she wants to be the world’s most famous female equestrian.  To me, this seems like a pretty simple and straight-forward request.  Sheila is asking to be famous for riding a horse.

Roarke, however, decides that Sheila’s fantasy is that she wants to be the most famous female equestrian in history.  And, in Roarke’s opinion, that means that Sheila wants to be Lady Godiva.  Now, setting aside the idea that Mr. Roarke is suddenly such a stickler for detail that he’s forcing Sheila to go with a literal translation of her fantasy (which is something that no other guest has ever had to deal with), is Lady Godiva truly the most famous female equestrian ever?  Katharine Hepburn used to ride horses.  Belle Starr used to ride horses.  Joan of Arc rode a horse on occasion.  What about Annie Oakley?

But let’s accept that Sheila’s fantasy is to become Lady Godiva.  Roarke doesn’t even do that!  Instead, he gives her a magic horse named Lancelot, which Sheila rides into medieval England.  And, in the past, Lancelot turns into a donkey and Sheila is promptly arrested for poaching on a nobleman’s land.  Sheila ends up a servant to Lady Godiva (Gunilla Hutton), who is being imprisoned in her own castle for criticizing the taxes that her husband, Leo (Ken Berry, who is very much not British), has placed on the people living on his land.  When Leo says that he’ll release his wife and lower the taxes but only if she’ll agree to humiliate herself by riding her horse naked, Godiva agrees.  However, before the ride, she is given a magic potion that knocks her out.

It falls to Sheila to disguise herself as Godiva and take the famous ride.  The servants respect her decision and turn their back as she rides by on a horse.  Well, one guy does take a look and gets yelled at as a result.  “You’ll always be known as Peeping Tom!”

Sheila returns to the present and is somehow not upset about the fact that she really didn’t get her fantasy.  (Not only did she not get the fantasy she asked for but she didn’t even get the fantasy that Roarke claimed she was asking for.  I mean, even if we accept that Sheila’s fantasy was to be Lady Godiva, that didn’t happen.  Instead, she became a servant who pretended to be Lady Godiva.)  Roarke agrees to send her Lancelot and also informs her that handsome Sir John Apensdale (Patrick Wayne), who Sheila fell in love with while in the past, was actually a Montana rancher who was having a fantasy of his own.  And he’ll be happy to teach Sheila how to ride!

Meanwhile, Steve Pryor (Philip Levian) comes to the Island with the fantasy of being a hard-boiled detective.  Roarke gives Steve his fantasy and even provides him with a mentor to offer him advice.  Who is that mentor?  The ghost of Humphrey Bogart (played by Robert Sacchi)!  Only Steve can see Bogart, which leads to a lot of scenes of people wondering why Steve is talking to himself.

The case involves delivering a package, picking up a key to a safety deposit box, and dealing with a femme fatale (Martha Smith).  It’s a pretty simple case, to be honest.  But at least Steve gets to hang out with Bogart.  And, to give credit where credit is due, Robert Sacchi’s Bogart impersonation was spot-on.

This episode was silly enough to be likable.  That said, I do think Sheila could probably sue Mr. Roarke for not actually granting her fantasy.  Seriously, I wonder how many lawyers Mr. Roarke kept on retainer.