Horror Film Review: The Black Phone (dir by Scott Derrickson)


“Arm like a mint!” a character exclaims at a key moment in 2021’s The Black Phone and I’ll admit right now that, when I heard that line, I rolled my eyes so violently that I’m lucky that I didn’t lose one of them.

It’s one of those lines that reminds us that we’re watching a movie that’s based on a short story and that the dialogue that works in a piece of literature can often sound awkward and forced when heard on film.  It’s a line that, at least for a few moments, took me right out of the movie’s reality and reminded me that I was watching was indeed just a movie.

There’s actually a few moments like that in The Black Phone but, fortunately, there’s more than enough that works about this movie to make up for what doesn’t work.

Taking place in a Denver suburb in 1978, The Black Phone deals with the evil activities of a serial abducted and murderer who is known only as The Grabber (Ethan Hawke).  The Grabber (who really should demand a better nickname) has spent years grabbing children off of the street and then holding them prisoner in his basement before killing them.  The Grabber drives a van and he usually wears a mask.  The mask is creepy but it also tells us something about The Grabber’s personality.  Obviously, when he talks the kids into getting into his van (or getting close enough for him to grab them), the Grabber can’t wear his mask so he’s not wearing the mask so he won’t be identified.  Instead, he wears the mask as perhaps a way to keep his “normal” life separated from his life as The Grabber.  Maybe that’s how this middle-aged man justifies being everyone’s worst nightmare.  Perhaps he tells himself that he’s not responsible for what he does when he puts on the mask.  Once he puts on the mask, anything bad that happens is the fault of The Grabber.

The Grabber’s latest victim is Finney (Mason Thames).  While Finney waits in the basement, his father (Jeremy Davies) struggles with his own alcoholism and his sister, Gwen (Madeleine McGraw), tries to get someone — anyone — to take her psychic visions seriously.  Gwen is determined to find and rescue her brother but, early on, the audience realizes that only Finney can save himself.  Fortunately, Finney has some help in the form of the ghosts of the Grabber’s other victims, all of whom call Finney on a black phone in the basement.  They offer Finney advice on how both to survive and how to fight against The Grabber.  Some of the ghosts are angry.  Some of them are surprisingly cheerful.  All of them are understandably eager to help Finney fight their murderer.

It’s an effective film, even if it does feel a bit overlong.  The film is based on a short story and it’s hard not to feel that the story would have been better served by a 30-minute short film than an obviously extended feature film.  That said, The Grabber is a genuinely creepy villain and the film leaves you feeling as if anyone in the film could easily become his next victim if Finney doesn’t figure out a way to get out of that basement.  Interestingly, by casting the handsome Hawke as a child abducted and murderer and the nervous Jeremy Davies as an imperfect father who wants to do better, the film challenges our assumptions about both characters.  The Black Phone is a film that effectively captures the terror of everyday life.

Horror Film Review: White Zombie (dir by Victor Halperin)


In the 1932 film, White Zombie, Bela Lugosi plays one of his most evil characters.

Lugosi is “Murder” Legendre, a voodoo master who lives on the island of Haiti.  He owns a sugar cane mill, one that has an ever-growing amount of workers.  All of Legendre’s workers do their work without complaint.  Actually, they work without talking at all.  Even when one of them falls to his apparent death, the rest continue to work as if they didn’t even notice.  Legendre has made himself into a wealthy and feared figure because everyone knows that he has an army of zombies who serve him.  He’s not only evil but he’s also someone who enjoys being evil and causing as much trouble as possible.  And yet, because his magic is powerful, the island’s rich plantation owners often pay him for favors.

Among those who are willing to pay Murder for his services is Charles Beaumont (Robert W. Frazer), a plantation owner who is in love with Madeleine Short (Madge Bellamy) and jealous of her fiancé, Neil Parker (John Harron).  Charles wants Madeleine to love him so Murder gives Charles a potion to slip into Madeleine’s drink.  When Madeleine drinks the potion, she appears to die.  After her funeral, Charlies and Murder break into her crypt and retrieve Madeleine.  Madeleine is now in a state of limbo, not quite alive but also not quite dead.  She can still play the piano but she cannot speak and she stares straight ahead with a blank look in her eyes.  She is now one of Murder’s zombies.  Needless to say, Charles isn’t happy about this and neither is Neil.

Now, one thing I should make clear is that the zombies in White Zombie are more like the zombies of Haitian mythology than the zombies that one would expect to find in a George Romero film.  The zombies in White Zombie do not eat human flesh.  They’re not in a process of decay.  They are not immortal.  These zombies are not the walking dead.  Instead, they’re brainwashed victims who have been turned into slaves by Murder and his magic potions.  Murder uses them to punish his enemies and to work in his mill.  As I said at the start of this review, Murder Legendre is one of Bela Lugosi’s most evil characters.

White Zombie is usually considered to be the first feature length zombie film.  Though it was released 91 years ago and watching it requires a bit of adjustment on the part of modern viewers, White Zombie still creates and maintains a memorable atmosphere of ominous magic and growing menace.  The scenes in Murder’s sugar cane mill are especially strong, with Murder’s zombies silently marching from one task to another.  The acting is a bit inconsistent.  Watching the film, it’s easy to see that it was made at a time when Hollywood was still making the transition to sound.  But the important thing is that Bela Lugosi is absolutely fantastic as the menacing Murder Legendre, smirking as he casts his spell and, in one of the film’s most famous scenes, walking straight towards the camera with an evil gleam in his eyes as if he’s coming straight for the audience.  Flaws aside, White Zombie features one of Bela Lugosi’s best performances and is more than worth watching for that reason alone.

Horror On The Lens: Silent Night, Bloody Night (dir by Theodore Gershuny)


The 1974 film Silent Night, Bloody Night is an oddity.

On the one hand, it’s pretty much a standard slasher film, complete with a menacing mansion, a horrible secret, a twist ending, and John Carradine playing a mute newspaper editor.

On the other hand, director Ted Gershuny directs like he’s making an underground art film and several of the supporting roles are played by actors who were best known for their association with Andy Warhol.

Personally, I like Silent Night, Bloody Night.  It has a terrible reputation and the film’s star, Mary Woronov, has gone on record calling it a “terrible movie” but I like the surreal touches the Gershuny brought to the material and the sepia-toned flashbacks have a nightmarish intensity to them.  The film makes no logical sense, which actually makes it all the more appealing to me.  As the saying goes, your mileage may vary.

Watch and decide for yourself!

Horrific Insomnia File #63: Hillbillys in a Haunted House (dir by Jean Yarbrough)


What’s an Insomnia File? You know how some times you just can’t get any sleep and, at about three in the morning, you’ll find yourself watching whatever you can find on cable or streaming? This feature is all about those insomnia-inspired discoveries!

If you were having trouble getting to sleep last night, you could have jumped on Tubi and watched a film from 1967 called Hillbillys In A Haunted House and it would have put you right to sleep.

Hillbillys In A Haunted House has some big names in the cast but, unfortunately, none of them get to do much.  Instead, the main characters are country singer Woody Wetherby (Ferlin Husky), his partner Boots Malone (a very pointy Joi Lansing), and their road manager, Jeepers (Don Bowman).  When we first see them, they’re driving to Nashville and even worse, they’re singing about the fact that they’re driving to Nashville.  They’re scheduled to perform in “the Jamboree.”  However, after they’re delayed by a bunch of cops having a shoot out with two spies, Boots announces that Jeepers is a nervous wreck and that they really need to stop and rest for the night.

Unfortunately, they’re in the town of Sleepy Junction and there’s not much to Sleepy Junction because everyone in town recently moved to Acme City.  As a result, there are no hotels or motels in Sleepy Junction.  But there is a big, deserted mansion that is rumored to be haunted.  With a storm approaching and Jeepers’s nerves even more on edge then before, they head to the mansion.  At the mansion Woody sings a song and then some neighbors stop by and they all sing another song.  Are you getting the feeling that there’s a lot of singing in this movie?  You’re right, there is.  It’s all studio-perfect singing too.  Woody lip-syncs like a pro.

Anyway, the mansion is also being used by four spies, played by Basil Rathbone, John Carradine, a hulking Lon Chaney, Jr., and Linda Ho.  The four of them live in the surprisingly clean basement of the mansion.  Living with them is a gorilla.  The spies planning on stealing a formula for rocket fuel from Acme City but first they need to do something about the hillbillys that are currently in the haunted house.  Carradine and Rathbone try to scare them out with some remote control ghost action.  Jeepers may be a coward and Woody may be a redneck and Boots may have atrocious taste in clothes but all three of them are Americans and they’re not going to stand for any spy nonsense!

If you think it sounds like this was stupid, you’re right.  Carradine and Rathbone both struggle to maintain a straight face.  Poor Lon Chaney Jr. often appears to be out of breath.  There’s way too much singing.  Seriously, couldn’t the hillbillies have just driven another few miles to Acme City and found a hotel?

The film will put you to sleep, though.  It has its uses.

Previous Insomnia Files:

  1. Story of Mankind
  2. Stag
  3. Love Is A Gun
  4. Nina Takes A Lover
  5. Black Ice
  6. Frogs For Snakes
  7. Fair Game
  8. From The Hip
  9. Born Killers
  10. Eye For An Eye
  11. Summer Catch
  12. Beyond the Law
  13. Spring Broke
  14. Promise
  15. George Wallace
  16. Kill The Messenger
  17. The Suburbans
  18. Only The Strong
  19. Great Expectations
  20. Casual Sex?
  21. Truth
  22. Insomina
  23. Death Do Us Part
  24. A Star is Born
  25. The Winning Season
  26. Rabbit Run
  27. Remember My Name
  28. The Arrangement
  29. Day of the Animals
  30. Still of The Night
  31. Arsenal
  32. Smooth Talk
  33. The Comedian
  34. The Minus Man
  35. Donnie Brasco
  36. Punchline
  37. Evita
  38. Six: The Mark Unleashed
  39. Disclosure
  40. The Spanish Prisoner
  41. Elektra
  42. Revenge
  43. Legend
  44. Cat Run
  45. The Pyramid
  46. Enter the Ninja
  47. Downhill
  48. Malice
  49. Mystery Date
  50. Zola
  51. Ira & Abby
  52. The Next Karate Kid
  53. A Nightmare on Drug Street
  54. Jud
  55. FTA
  56. Exterminators of the Year 3000
  57. Boris Karloff: The Man Behind The Monster
  58. The Haunting of Helen Walker
  59. True Spirit
  60. Project Kill
  61. Replica
  62. Rollergator

6 Trailers For October 29, 2023


As we reach the conclusion of our annual Horrorthon, how about another edition of Lisa Marie’s Favorite Grindhouse and Exploitation Film trailers?  Today, we pay tribute to the godfather of Halloween, Mr. John Carpenter!

  1. Halloween (1978)

Obviously, I was going to have to share the trailer for the original Halloween eventually.  This is still the best of the franchise.  In fact, all of the attempts by other directors to “improve” on it just serves to remind us of the fact that John Carpenter said everything that needed to be said in the first film.

2. Assault on Precinct 13 (1976)

How did Carpenter get the chance to direct Halloween?  Well, the producers were impressed with his previous film, Assault on Precinct 13.  Also impressed by this film was Angela Pleasence, who subsequently convinced her father, Donald, to read Carpenter’s script for Halloween.

3. The Fog (1980)

Carpenter followed up Halloween with The Fog, which featured several cast members of both Halloween and Carpenter’s next film, Escape From New York.

4. The Thing (1982)

Incredibly underappreciated when it was first released, Carpenter’s remake of The Thing has gone on to become one of his most popular and influential films.

5. Prince of Darkness (1987)

Speaking of underappreciated, it would also be several years before Carpenter’s Prince of Darkness started to receive the attention that it really deserved.

6. John Carpenter’s Vampires (1998)

Finally, with Vampires, Carpenter mixed the horror genre with the western genre and came up with a hybrid that continues to be influential to this day.

Cleaning Out The DVR: The Neighbors Are Watching (dir by Haylie Duff)


“Your neighbors will always have your back,” Betsy (Elena Kent) tells Amy (Kabby Borders) while welcoming her to the neighborhood.

But will they?

That’s the question posed by the Lifetime film, The Neighbors Are Watching.  At first, it certainly seems like the neighbors are supportive of Amy as she starts her new job as a teacher and she tries to restart her life after ending a bad marriage.  And it certainly seems like a wonderful neighborhood.  Amy’s even got a surprisingly big house, considering that she’s a teacher.  I guess she lives in one of those states where teachers get paid a decent salary and don’t have to hand over half of it in union dues.  Either that or this is just another example of Lifetime understanding that it’s more fun to watch people in big houses than to watch people in small houses.

With the support of the neighborhood, Amy starts to date Henry (Will Holland), the guy who has just moved in across the street from her.  And, with the exception of one skeevy moment where he glances up at Amy’s bedroom window while she’s getting dressed, Henry seems like a great guy.  He says that he owns a home repair business and he even volunteers to fix her back door for her.

But strange things are happening and soon, the neighbors will turn against Amy.  It starts when someone leaves Amy strange messages and newspaper clippings about how her previous marriage ended because she killed her abusive husband in self-defense.  Then Henry starts to act strangely and Amy even thinks that she sees him at his house with another woman.  When Amy confronts him, Henry gaslights her and claims that she’s obviously seeing things.  All of the neighbors come outside to watch as Amy and Henry argue.  And when Amy thinks that she sees Henry putting a dead body in the trunk of his car, the police react as if Amy is the one who did something wrong by calling them.  Is Amy truly losing it, as Henry suggests, or is someone trying to frame Amy and make her look bad?  And will Amy’s neighbors, including Betsy, have her back?

The Neighbors Are Watching was one of those Lifetime movies that got better as it went along.  The first half, which featured Amy and Henry as a couple, featured a bit too much overwritten, cutesy flirting and a few too many scenes of Betsy trying to convince everyone to drink wine.  But, once it became apparent that Henry was a bad guy who was trying to make everybody think that Amy was going insane, the film became much more entertaining.  In fact, all of the cutesy dialogue made sense once you understood that Henry was trying to create the impression of a movie-perfect romance.  There’s a good twist towards the end and Lifetime regular Kabby Borders is likable and sympathetic as Amy.  This is the third film that Haylie Duff has directed for Lifetime and she definitely understands the importance of embracing the melodrama.  Despite the rough start, I enjoyed watching The Neighbors Are Watching.

Music Video of the Day: Are You Ready For Freddy? by the Fat Boys (1988, directed by Harvey Keith)


I always assumed that this song was specifically written for one of the Nightmare on Elm Street movies but actually, the Fat Boys were just fans of the movies and they decided to put a song about them on one of their albums.  The song was included in The Freddy Krueger Special, which aired on CBS in 1988.  That’s amazing to think that Freddy got his own primetime special.

This video, which features several of Freddy’s victims and Robert Englund himself, was written by Wes Craven and directed by Harvey Keith.  Keith directed a few films, including 1988’s Mondo New York and 1990’s Jezebel’s Kiss.

Enjoy!

October Positivity: The Mark: Redemption (dir by James Chankin)


2013’s The Mark: Redemption picks up almost immediately where The Mark left off.

The world is in chaos as millions of people have mysteriously vanished.  The economy is collapsing.  Crime is out of control.  Cities are burning.  The G20 Economic Summit is meeting in a surprisingly small conference room in Berlin.  The world looks to a mysterious investor named Phillyp Turk (Ivan Kamaras) for leadership.  It does this despite the fact that everything about Phillyp — from the way he speaks to the way he looks to the way that he spells his name — would seem to indicate that he’s a crazy supervillain.  Was the world not paying attention to all of those comic book movies?  Do they not know a cartoonishly evil businessman when they see one?

In Bangkok, Mr. Pike (Gary Daniels) and his men are still searching for Chad (Craig Sheffer) and Dao (Sonia Couling).  Chad still has the biometric chip — the Mark of the Beast, as it were — in his bloodstream and Pike is determined to capture Chad and somehow get the chip out.  In between thinking about all of their friends and family who have vanished, Chad and Dao try to find the inventor of the chip so that he can hopefully remove it.  Along the way, Dao talks about her younger sister, who has disappeared into Bangkok’s underworld but who, in one of those coincidental twists that boggles the imagination, also happens to have been an early test subject for the chip that is currently in Chad’s blood stream!

As for Cooper (Eric Roberts), he’s being held captive by Turner’s men.  Just as in the first film, Cooper proves himself to be a clever manipulator.  The only difference is that, in the sequel, Cooper finally understands that he was one of the bad guys and he doesn’t feel quite right about that.  Cooper finds an ally in Warren (Johann Helf), one of Mr. Pike’s less bloodthirsty associates.

The Mark: Redemption is quite an improvement on the original film.  It helps that, in the sequel, the action is opened up as opposed to solely taking place in one claustrophobic location.  Mr. Pike and his men chase Chad and Dao all over Bangkok while Turk flies from New York to Berlin and back again.  If the first film felt confined, the second film truly does capture the feel of a global catastrophe.  As well, Craig Sheffer’s performance here is far more lively than in the first film.  In the first film, he seemed as if he had mentally checked out.  In the second film, he actually makes some sort of effort to portray the character.  Of course, the film is ultimately stolen by Eric Roberts, who seems to be having a blast playing the sardonic Cooper.  Roberts keeps the film lively and things are all the better for it.

The Mark: Redemption ends with the promise of a third film but, as far as I know, it was never made.

Previous Eric Roberts Films That We Have Reviewed:

  1. Star 80 (1983)
  2. Blood Red (1989)
  3. The Ambulance (1990)
  4. The Lost Capone (1990)
  5. Love, Cheat, & Steal (1993)
  6. Love Is A Gun (1994)
  7. Sensation (1994)
  8. Dark Angel (1996)
  9. Doctor Who (1996)
  10. Most Wanted (1997)
  11. Mr. Brightside (2004)
  12. Six: The Mark Unleased (2004)
  13. Hey You (2006)
  14. In The Blink of an Eye (2009)
  15. Enemies Among Us (2010)
  16. The Expendables (2010) 
  17. Sharktopus (2010)
  18. The Dead Want Women (2012)
  19. Deadline (2012)
  20. The Mark (2012)
  21. Miss Atomic Bomb (2012)
  22. Lovelace (2013)
  23. Self-Storage (2013)
  24. This Is Our Time (2013)
  25. Inherent Vice (2014)
  26. Road to the Open (2014)
  27. Rumors of War (2014)
  28. Amityville Death House (2015)
  29. A Fatal Obsession (2015)
  30. Stalked By My Doctor (2015)
  31. Joker’s Poltergeist (2016)
  32. Prayer Never Fails (2016)
  33. Stalked By My Doctor: The Return (2016)
  34. The Wrong Roommate (2016)
  35. Dark Image (2017)
  36. Black Wake (2018)
  37. Stalked By My Doctor: Patient’s Revenge (2018)
  38. Clinton Island (2019)
  39. Monster Island (2019)
  40. Seven Deadly Sins (2019)
  41. Stalked By My Doctor: A Sleepwalker’s Nightmare (2019)
  42. The Wrong Mommy (2019)
  43. Exodus of a Prodigal Son (2020)
  44. Free Lunch Express (2020)
  45. Her Deadly Groom (2020)
  46. Top Gunner (2020)
  47. Deadly Nightshade (2021)
  48. Just What The Doctor Ordered (2021)
  49. Killer Advice (2021)
  50. The Poltergeist Diaries (2021)
  51. A Town Called Parable (2021)
  52. My Dinner With Eric (2022)