October Positivity: The Mark: Redemption (dir by James Chankin)

Posted on October 28, 2023 by Lisa Marie Bowman

2013’s The Mark: Redemption picks up almost immediately where The Mark left off.

The world is in chaos as millions of people have mysteriously vanished. The economy is collapsing. Crime is out of control. Cities are burning. The G20 Economic Summit is meeting in a surprisingly small conference room in Berlin. The world looks to a mysterious investor named Phillyp Turk (Ivan Kamaras) for leadership. It does this despite the fact that everything about Phillyp — from the way he speaks to the way he looks to the way that he spells his name — would seem to indicate that he’s a crazy supervillain. Was the world not paying attention to all of those comic book movies? Do they not know a cartoonishly evil businessman when they see one?

In Bangkok, Mr. Pike (Gary Daniels) and his men are still searching for Chad (Craig Sheffer) and Dao (Sonia Couling). Chad still has the biometric chip — the Mark of the Beast, as it were — in his bloodstream and Pike is determined to capture Chad and somehow get the chip out. In between thinking about all of their friends and family who have vanished, Chad and Dao try to find the inventor of the chip so that he can hopefully remove it. Along the way, Dao talks about her younger sister, who has disappeared into Bangkok’s underworld but who, in one of those coincidental twists that boggles the imagination, also happens to have been an early test subject for the chip that is currently in Chad’s blood stream!

As for Cooper (Eric Roberts), he’s being held captive by Turner’s men. Just as in the first film, Cooper proves himself to be a clever manipulator. The only difference is that, in the sequel, Cooper finally understands that he was one of the bad guys and he doesn’t feel quite right about that. Cooper finds an ally in Warren (Johann Helf), one of Mr. Pike’s less bloodthirsty associates.

The Mark: Redemption is quite an improvement on the original film. It helps that, in the sequel, the action is opened up as opposed to solely taking place in one claustrophobic location. Mr. Pike and his men chase Chad and Dao all over Bangkok while Turk flies from New York to Berlin and back again. If the first film felt confined, the second film truly does capture the feel of a global catastrophe. As well, Craig Sheffer’s performance here is far more lively than in the first film. In the first film, he seemed as if he had mentally checked out. In the second film, he actually makes some sort of effort to portray the character. Of course, the film is ultimately stolen by Eric Roberts, who seems to be having a blast playing the sardonic Cooper. Roberts keeps the film lively and things are all the better for it.

The Mark: Redemption ends with the promise of a third film but, as far as I know, it was never made.

Previous Eric Roberts Films That We Have Reviewed:

Late Night Retro Television Reviews: Check It Out 1.4 “X-Ray Marks The Spot”

Posted on October 28, 2023 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Saturdays, I will be reviewing the Canadian sitcom, Check it Out, which ran in syndication from 1985 to 1988. The entire show is currently streaming on Tubi!

This week, it’s physical time!

Episode 1.4 “X-Ray Marks The Spot”

(Dir by Stan Harris, originally aired on October 23rd, 1985)

Oh, the drama never ends in Canada!

Cobb’s has just switched over to a new insurance plan and all of the employees are going to have to get physicals to make sure that they qualify. That means that everyone has to come in on Monday, regardless of whether it’s their day off or not. (Since the store only seems to have 3 cashiers and one stockboy, I’m not sure they can afford to give anyone a day off.) The physicals will be done right in the store parking lot which …. wait, what? That’s a bit intrusive.

(Actually, I assume they have some sort of mobile doctor’s office but that’s never really made clear in the dialogue, which led me to imagine all of the characters getting poked and prodded in the middle of the parking lot.)

That’s not the only problem! Murray the stock boy put a lot of cans in the storeroom and, after a torrential downfall, he discovered that he put all the cans underneath a hole in the roof. The cans got wet and their labels peeled off. Christian suggests just donating the cans to charity and taking a tax write-off but Howard points out that some of the cans were dog food. “Okay,” Christian says, “give it to poor people with pets!”

(Actually, that’s not a bad idea….)

Howard, himself, is upset because he nearly got run over by a kid driving a car. He tells Edna that he hates kid. Howard picks the worst time to tell Edna this because, before coming to work, she took a pregnancy test and guess who is expecting?

Edna tries to keep the news from Howard until he’s in a better mood but then she discovers that she’ll have to get an x-ray at the physical and, when she tells Howard why she can’t do that, Howard is not particularly enthused about the prospect of being a father. Edna gets upset and leaves Canada for Florida!

How will all of this get resolved?

Well, the mystery of the cans is solved when Murray gets them ex-rayed. I’m not sure if it’s a good idea to sell people food that was just zapped with radiation but whatever.

Edna leaving is temporarily resolved when Marlene, who is the best character on the show, become Howard’s new secretary. Marlene turns out to be so bad at her job that I was cringing at my own memories of my first day as an administrative assistant. Fortunately, Edna returns and takes her old job back.

She also tearfully tells Howard that the test was incorrect and she’s not pregnant. Edna sits down at her desk, opens the desk drawer, and discovers the stuffed Panda bear that Howard bought while she was gone. “Awwwwwww!” the studio audience said. And, I’ll be honest, I said it too.

The first half of this episode really didn’t work for me, largely because both Don Adams and Dinah Christie (in the roles of Howard and Edna, respectively) had a tendency to go BIG in their performances and that pretty much made it impossible for me to really get emotionally involved with their story. It was a bit too obvious that they weren’t lovers but that they were instead just two actors reciting their lines. The second half of the episode was a marked improvement, when both Adams and Christie dialing back their performances and actually talking like real human beings. Shaky start aside, the episode did kind of earn that “awwww” from the audience.

Next week, a contest goes wrong!

V/H/S/85 (dir. by Various Artists)

Posted on October 28, 2023 by Leonard Wilson

The full list of directors for Shudder’s V/H/S/85 includes David Bruckner (The Night House), Gigi Saul Guerrero (Bingo Hell), Scott Derrickson (The Black Phone), Natasha Kermani (The Imitation Girl), and Mike P. Nelson (2021’s Wrong Turn).

I’m not completely familiar with the V/H/S series. I stopped after the very first one, with the “I Like You” segment rattling me enough to never want to delve into that found footage mayhem again. It only caught my interest because Scott Derrickson (and by extension C. Robert Cargill and Gigi Saul Guerrero were involved. Cargill and Derrickson have worked together since Sinister (as far as I know). Guerrero’s Bingo Hell was a fun watch, as horror films go. While the found footage format still bothers me when used in large doses, the effect here really makes sense. You’re working in the 80s, pre-cell phones and most major technology. Home movies were common back then as well.

The format for the film is similar to most horror anthologies (like Tales From the Darkside), where there are 4 or 5 mini tales and another that you see in between those. David Bruckner covers the main story with “Total Copy”, where a strange specimen in a lab is kept under close study. Of all the stories in the group, this one really didn’t hold me very well, though it does work well as filler between the other, stronger tales.

Mike Nelson’s “No Wake” starts us off with a camping trip to a nearby lake. Despite discovering No Trespassing signs, the crew of young adults set out for a nice time in the water. This ends up becoming rather treacherous and the result leaves them wanting to take revenge on their perpetrators. It was a strange and refreshing take on a familiar tale that I liked, though it was somewhat short.

We move on to Gigi Saul Guerrero’s “God of Death”, which I enjoyed. This tale follows a cameraman during an earthquake in Mexico, as a rescue crew tries to evacuate a collapsing building. Guerrero is in this piece as the reporter, Gabriella, and if you watch close enough, you’ll see a picture of her father on one the walls, looking like the Mayor of the town. I thought that was sweet. There’s quite a bit of blood and gore, as much as Shudder likes to give.

Natasha Kermani’s “TKNOGOD” was the only one in the series that I didn’t care for. Not that I was bothered about the argument of God vs. Technology, but it felt more like those slam poetry sessions you find in Manhattan. I understand what it was trying to convey, and it does get somewhat chilling. Still, I kind of glossed over it and waited for the next entry. It was filmed well, at least. That I will give it.

“Ambrosia” brings us to a family reunion and celebration, though the family itself might not have the best intentions at heart. This one surprised me a bit and I liked the connection to earlier events.

And finally, we have a Sinister reunion of sorts with Director Scott Derrickson, writer C. Robert Cargill, and actor James Ransome (Deputy So & So himself) in “Dreamkill”. Working in a similar vein to Sinister, Dreamkill focuses on some deadly murders occurring in a town that also happen to be recorded on home video before the events take place. A detective (Freddy Rodriguez, Grindhouse’s Planet Terror) tries to piece together the clues before more victims are lost. This was the best of the bunch, by far, I felt.

Overall, if you can handle the shaky cam of the V/H/S films, 85 is a treat. While I personally wished some these weren’t using the cam, the film finds a way to keep the floating camera in the picture. It’s an interesting set of scares if you have the time to watch.

Lisa Marie’s Week In Televison: 10/22/23 — 10/28/23

Posted on October 28, 2023 by Lisa Marie Bowman

I’ve got so much stuff piling up on the DVR. I’ll get caught up on it all in November!

Big Brother (24/7, CBS and Paramount Plus)

I wrote about this stupid show over at the Reality TV Chat Blog! I will be so happy when this season is over. Every day, I pray for the cancellation of this show.

Check It Out! (Tubi)

I watched the fourth episode of Check It Out! on Friday. My review will drop in a few hours.

Degrassi Junior High (YouTube)

I wrote about Degrassi Junior High here!

Dragnet (Weekday Morning, MeTV)

I woke up early enough on Monday that, when I turned on television, I found myself watching the episode of Dragnet where Joe Friday served on a review board that was investigating whether a police officer had failed to properly identity himself. It was not one of the more interesting episodes of Dragnet.

Dr. Phil (YouTube)

On Sunday, I watched an episode of Dr. Phil in which Phil interviewed a woman who shaved her head and faked having cancer. The woman said that she felt very guilty. Dr. Phil didn’t buy it.

On Tuesday morning, I watched Dr. Phil talk to a woman who was in an abusive marriage with a total jerk. Dr. Phil called the jerk a “loud-mouthed bully” but it didn’t really seem to do much good. Later, on Tuesday evening, I watched an episode about an out-of-control teen named Taylor. Phil yelled at the parents but he didn’t seem to do much good for Taylor.

On Saturday night, I watched an episode about a disastrous wedding that was still tearing a family apart. Seriously, it was a really bad wedding. I think the only solution was for the wife to get a divorce. “Wow,” Dr. Phil said, in his condescending way.

Gun (Tubi)

I wrote about Gun here.

Highway to Heaven (Tubi)

I wrote about Highway to Heaven here!

The Hitchhiker (YouTube)

I watched several episodes of The Hitchhiker this week, while choosing which ones to feature on the site. It was a bit of an uneven show but, when it worked, it worked. I loved Page Fletcher’s super-judgmental monologues.

It’s The Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown (Apple TV+)

Erin and I watched this classic on Thursday. Read Erin’s’ thoughts on it here!

Jennifer Slept Here (YouTube)

I wrote about Jennifer Slept Here here!

The Love Boat (Paramount Plus)

I wrote about The Love Boat here!

Nightmare Café (YouTube)

I wrote about Nightmare Café here!

T and T (Tubi)

I wrote about T and T here!

Toy Story Of Terror (Disney Plus)

Erin and I watched this on Thursday, after we watched It’s The Great Pumpkin Charlie Brown. I love the toys! This isn’t their best adventure but it’s still nice to see and hear everyone again.

The Vanishing Shadow (Night Flight Plus)

I watched Chapter Three of this serial on Friday night. In this episode, the invisibility ray was used.

Welcome Back Kotter (Tubi)

I reviewed Welcome Back Kotter here!

Yes Prime Minister (Monday Morning, PBS)

A member of Jim’s cabinet had a plan that he felt would help the economy and reduce unemployment. Sir Humphrey felt that the cabinet member was a pointless radical and encouraged Jim to ignore him. This episode featured one of my favorite sources of humor on this show, Jim’s tendency to just agree with whoever last spoke to him. It feels like a very realistic portrait of the way governments work.

Horror on the Lens: At Midnight I’ll Take Your Soul (dir. by Jose Mojica Marins)

Posted on October 28, 2023 by Leonard Wilson

There isn’t a whole lot I can say about 1964’s At Midnight I’ll Take Your Soul.

It was something I caught on AMC or TCM about a decade ago very late at night. I was on the phone with a close friend when I saw this guy walking around a town in Brazil beating people with a cane. The film and it’s sequel, This Night I’ll Possess Your Corpse were played back to back. I lost the name of the movie over time and searched what I could remember (“spanish movie man with cane”) to no avail. I found it again about a year ago via Youtube. It was one of those movies you wouldn’t really recommend to anyone, but you also couldn’t (or at least I couldn’t at the time) keep yourself from looking away. I low scored it because It’s not something I’d see myself running back to, but it was just weird.

The story focuses on Ze do Caixao, or Coffin Joe (Jose Mojica Marins), who is looking for the right girl to give him a “superior child”. Joe is clearly not a nice individual nor is he the hero of this story. He has a love of his own, but he soon takes an interest in one of the town girls, Terezinha. How can Joe get rid of his wife, Lenita (Valéria Vasquez) and get close to Terezinha (Magda Mei), despite the fact that she’s currently in a relationship with the town doctor? Apparently, it’s nothing a tarantula can’t fix in a particularly creepy scene.

The movie does get very dark, even by 1960s standards. There’s torture, random beatings, a possible rape and murders. Coffin Joe manages to continue his streak of bad deeds and finally does get to Terezinha by way of removing the doctor (Ilídio Martins Simões) from the equation. It all backfires on Joe, however, when a witch in the woods warns that by Midnight, his soul will be claimed. Not believing in the mystical or religious, Joe scoffs at this at first. He soon finds out that there’s a balance to things, leading to an ending that I particularly enjoyed.

A sequel to the film was made to the film in 1967 called This Night I’ll Possess Your Corpse, which is mostly the same, though it does offer some great use of color midway. The first film is currently available to watch on YouTube.

The Rangers Do Not Win Game 2 Of The World Series

Posted on October 28, 2023 by Dazzling Erin

I don’t want to talk about it.

Congratulations to the Diamondbacks, though. They clapped back tonight and let all of us Rangers fans know that they’re going to be tough and worthy opponents. The World Series is now tied up and moving to Arizona for the next three games. No matter how it ends, I hope the final game is played in Arlington.

Go Rangers!

Horror on TV: The Hitchhiker 6.15 “Living a Lie” (dir by Bruno Gantillon)

Posted on October 28, 2023 by Lisa Marie Bowman

When a bartender steals one of his customer’s credit cards, he learns that credit fraud can lead to …. HORROR! Let that be a lesson to everyone.

This episode originally aired on January 18th, 1991.

Garfield’s Halloween Adventure (dir. by Phil Roman)

Posted on October 28, 2023 by Leonard Wilson

Remembering Halloween as a kid, there were two animated staples that marked the season. It’s the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown is indeed the one to never miss, but there was also Garfield’s Halloween Adventure. I was a Garfield fan growing up, and even had my own miniature plush Garfield named Nermal (which matched my older brother’s larger version, named Garfield, of course). Directed by Phil Roman and written by Garfield’s creator Jim Davis, it was a 30 minute special originally released under the name Garfield in Disguise, based off the comic version with the same title. I remember the skull and crossbones on Garfield’s pirate hat taking on different expressions in each frame – when Garfield was scared, it was too. I have to see if there’s any way to track down the original book. It was the one I always tried to catch, since it also included spooky pirates (much like John Carpenter’s The Fog). The Halloween Special can be found on NBC/Universal/Comcast’s Peacock streaming service, along with the Garfield & Friends channel on YouTube at the time of this writing.

We open on Halloween morning, with Garfield being lazy as usual. When he’s awakened by Binky the Clown’s morning broadcast, it’s business as usual – turn it off and go to sleep. Catching the word “candy” reminds him of the reason Halloween is so special. Garfield comes up with a plan to go trick or treating and bring home as much candy as he can. The idea is improved upon when Odie, the house’s ever faithful canine companion, is brought into the mix. Double the candy, all for Garfield.

Their first job is to find some costumes, and thankfully, everything they need is in the attic. Jon Arbuckle, the pets’ designated Human, kept boxes of clothes. Garfield and Odie manage to come up with OrangeBeard the Pirate and his first mate, Odie the Stupid.

The two begin to have their Trick or Treat, with some spooky (and musical) moments throughout, until Garfield has the idea to across the river for more candy treasure. Like true pirates, they find a boat and sail off until they find an old house. Inside, a old man tells of them of an ancient treasure that was buried on the island and a group of pirates who would return in 100 years on Halloween Night to reclaim it. Shortly after the old man finishes his tale, he disappears, stealing Garfield & Odie’s boat and leaving them to deal with the pirate ghosts.

One element missing from the show (but kept in the book) had the pair actually finding the treasure and stealing part of it in the form of a ring. In the animated piece, Garfield & Odie are chased by the pirates, and swim for their lives. Thankfully, they make it ashore to their side of town, discovering their stolen boat and the candy bags still on board. They finally arrive home and as thanks for saving his life, Garfield awards Odie with one of the candy bags. In the book, the pirates follow Garfield back home, where he gives them the ring. Either way, all is well, and it’s a Happy Halloween for all.

Again, the show is a fun watch for anyone of any age.

Maniac Cop 2 (1990, directed by William Lustig)

Posted on October 28, 2023 by Jedadiah Leland

Maniac Cop 2 picks up where the first Maniac Cop ended.

The NYPD thinks that the undead maniac cop Matt Cordell (Robert Z’Dar) has been destroyed but he is actually still alive and killing civilians and cops in New York. He has even teamed up with a serial killer named Steven Turkell (Leo Rossi, ranting and raving like a pro). Jack Forrest (Bruce Campbell) and Theresa Malloy (Laurene Landon) both return from the first film but both of them are killed by Cordell before the movie is even halfway over. Maniac Cop 2 is not playing around.

With Jack and Theresa gone, it falls to Detective Sean McKinney (Robert Davi) and Officer Susan Riley (Claudia Christian) to discover what the rest of the audience already knows, that Cordell is seeking revenge against the system that abandoned him in prison. The new police commissioner, Ed Doyle (Michael Lerner), is determined to cover up what happened but Cordell is even more determined to have his vengeance. Working with Turkell, Cordell heads to the prison where he was unjustly incarcerated and murdered.

Maniac Cop 2 is a marked improvement on the first film. Cordell is no longer a lumbering and slow monster. He is now a ruthless, Terminator-style executioner who, in the film’s best-known scene, wipes out an entire police precinct in a matter of minutes. Cordell is so ruthless that he won’t even stop when he’s on fire. His partnership with Turkell adds a new twist to the Maniac Cop saga. Turkell views Cordell as his partner-in-crime but Cordell is only interested in getting his revenge. (Turkell was originally meant to be Frank Zito, the main character from Lustig’s Maniac. When Maniac star Joe Spinell died before shooting began, the role was changed to Leo Rossi’s Steven Turkell.)

Stepping into the shoes of the main investigation, Robert Davi gives one of his best performances. As opposed to the boring heroes of the first film (sorry, Bruce!), Davi’s Sean McKinney is just as obsessive and ruthless as Cordell. Cordell sets fire and McKinney uses those fires to light his cigarettes.

William Lustig has described Maniac Cop 2 as being his best film and he’s probably right. It is definitely the best of the Maniac Cop films and the only one to fully take advantage of its premise.

Retro Television Reviews: Welcome Back Kotter 2.17 “Chicken a la Kotter”

Posted on October 28, 2023 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Saturdays, I will be reviewing Welcome Back Kotter, which ran on ABC from 1975 to 1979. The entire show is currently streaming on Tubi!

This week, Gabe needs surgery!

Episode 2.17 “Chicken a la Kotter”

(Dir by Bob LaHendro, originally aired on January 27th, 1977)

At the apartment, Gabe tells Julie about his Uncle Socrates Kotter. Uncle Socrates had a best friend named Euripides but they drifted apart when Socrates moved to Chicago and opened up his own dry cleaning place. One day, a guy who looked just like Euripides walked into the business.

“Euripedes!” Socrates shouted.

“Yeah,” the guy replied as he handed over his pants, “you menda these?”

Plato was not available for comment.

After the opening credits, we find ourselves back at the apartment. Gabe comes home from the dentist and tells Julie that he has three abscesses. (Good Lord, Gabe!) Gabe says that a root canal will cost thousands. Having the teeth pulled will cost hundreds. Or maybe he can just convince someone to knock out all of his teeth for free.

Julie says that she’s gotten a part-time job stuffing envelopes but that’s probably not going to pay for Gabe’s dental surgery. She suggests that he call one of the personal loan places that advertise on television. Gabe is reluctant because he hates their commercials but, at Julie’s insistence, he calls and asks for $12,000. The guy on the other end of the line asks Gabe what he does for a living.

“I’m a teacher,” Gabe replies.

“What’s he saying?” Julie asks.

“I’ll tell you after he stops laughing.”

Eventually, the guy asks Gabe about his assets. “I’m a fun guy,” Gabe says, “I’ve got a good sense of humor….” The loan guy tells Gabe that, if he takes out a loan with them, he’ll have to pay $110 a month for a year and that he would have to put up his first born son as collateral.

(Today, I should add, I spent $110 on Halloween candy.)

The next day, at school, the Sweathogs are confused as to why Gabe is slurring his speech when he calls roll. After Freddie asks if he’s okay, Gabe explains that he has to get dental surgery but he doesn’t have any way to pay for it. Freddie suggests that Gabe join the Marines. Epstein offers to go into business with him. Barbarino volunteers to be the prize at a raffle. Horshack offers to sell his body to science.

After class ends, Gabe sits at his desk and reads the classifieds. (“Wanted, hearse driver. Must not mind riding alone …. sort of.”) Woodman wanders into the classroom and reminds Gabe that he’s not allowed to “moonlight.” Gabe asks Woodman how he manages to make ends meet.

“My ends never meet, Kotter!” Woodman declares.

Gabe bemoans never being able to have fun on his salary.

“There’s more to life than fun, Kotter,” Woodman says, “There’s hard work, sacrifice, and REVENGE!”

After Woodman leaves, Barbarino, Freddie, Horshack, and Epstein return to the classroom and announce that they’ve pooled together their life savings to help out Mr. Kotter. They then hand him five dollars and 72 cents. “Stay mellow, fellow,” Freddie says.

Several nights later, at the apartment, Gabe tells Julie that he has to go to his second job as a “public relations expert at a restaurant.” Julie accuses Gabe of cheating on her. Uhmm, Julie — remember how you all talked about how Gabe would need to get a second job to pay for his root canal? It wasn’t that long ago….

Part of the reason why Julie is suspicious is because Gabe always takes a suitcase with him to work. What’s in the suitcase? Gabe’s work costume! Yes, I said costume. Gabe’s public relations job involves dressing up like a chicken and going to the grand opening of every new Mr. Chicken restaurant.

Guess who walks into the restaurant?

It’s Barbarino, Freddie, Horshack, and Epstein! Horshack, not recognizing Captain Chicken as his teacher, demands an autograph. However, the other Sweathogs quickly recognize him and, no longer as sympathetic as they were a few days ago, they proceed to make fun of Gabe and his costume. Unfortunately, because Gabe is on the clock, he still has to take their orders. They order the Gluten’s Gorge.

While Gabe relays the order to the kitchen, Woodman comes in and sees that the restaurant is having a contest where, if you guess the number of chicken bones in a container, you’ll win a free meal. Gabe has his back to him but he still clearly hears as Woodman announces, “460, Captain Chicken!” Gabe is forced to turn around and reveal that Woodman is “a few bones short.” Woodman tells Gabe to watch out for roosters and then laughs loudly as he leaves.

Gabe is then forced, by the restaurant manager, to do a dance with a cane and a top hat in order to celebrate the Sweathogs ordering a Gluten’s Gorge. The Sweathogs applaud and congratulate Gabe for being a “good sport.” Gabe explains that he took this demeaning job because he couldn’t get a day job because it would mean abandoning his Sweathogs. The restaurant manager then orders Gabe to get his “delinquents” students out of the place.

“Up your gizzard with a rubber lizard,” Freddie replies.

Rather than betray his students, Gabe quits his job. They all leave to get Chinese food. Yay! I love Chinese food.

Back at the apartment, Gabe tells Julie a joke about his Aunt Sophie, who always used to sleep with her mouth open and….

Wait a minute …. did Gabe ever get his dental surgery? It seems like that whole part of the story kind of got pushed to the side. This was an incredibly silly episode and it didn’t quite work for me because, as annoying as Julie can be, her whole assumption that Gabe was having an affair never made sense. She knew why he had to get a night job. Still, at least Mr. Woodman got a few good lines and it’s always touching when the Sweathogs reveal that they really do care about their teacher and themselves.

Seriously, though — three abscesses!? Here’s hoping Gabe takes better care of himself in the future!