Monthly Archives: August 2010

Probicus Parley 002

Posted on by necromoonyeti

Probicus Parley
A Starcraft 2 Daily

002

I said before I’d try to put the meat of my daily up front. Instead, just read what’s bolded if you’re in a rush.

This morning I played 4 1v1c, a 3v3 win, and a 1v1 loss. The outcome of the last game transitions well into my topic:
Techniques in Bronze league that you should stop using. Specifically:

Small but continuous attacks.
Cannon rushing/surrendering when an opponent successfully cannon rushes.

Approaching the latter first, because it is fresh on my mind and my nerd rage has subsided:

My 1v1 went like this. Toss on Toss, and the guy was at least Gold league because he was fully Favored. I built two gateways and noticed a cannon start to warp in near my extractor. I pulled most of my probes to deal with it, no problem. One more started to warp in, same deal. Three more, and my zealots came out, but I couldn’t handle all three before one finished. At that point I lost a zealot, and with yet another three cannons warping I called him a fag and quit.

It wasn’t until I got to the recap screen that I realized how stupid I was. Check out this build order:
Probe, probe, pylon, probe, probe, probe, forge, probe, probe, pylon, photon cannon, photon cannon, photon cannon, photon cannon, photon cannon, photon cannon, photon cannon, photon cannon, photon cannon.
I could have easily had 400 minerals by the time he reached my nexus and a half dozen zealots by the time he reached by gateways. That provides a pretty simple solution. Move to an expansion, take out his defenseless drones, set up a scenario where I have all the time and resources in the world and he has, oh boy oh boy, about twenty photon cannons. Even if he established himself in my old base all turtled up with his cannons, I would hold such a unit advantage that I could render expanding on his part impossible and just mine him out.

So lesson one of the day: Never forget that in early game scenarios your opponent can’t collect resources any faster than you can. I tend to instinctively think “well he’s got at least a gateway and three zealots at this point, even with all these cannons. Any decent player would make at least a basic defense.” No. A gateway and three zealots, that’s 450 minerals – three cannons. There’s no possible way he could support that and still warp in eight inside my main this early on.

If you’re up against a Toss player who feels obligated to cannon rush to win, he’s a) probably not very good in a conventional fight, and b) flat broke. He at best has a single gateway, maybe one zealot. Get enough minerals to expand and let your base fall, taking out his in the process. Don’t try and prevent a cannon rush if you don’t notice it before the first cannon is warping in unless you have ample units. Expand immediately and attack his main with what you’ve got. If he’s a bit more clever at it and starts at your ramp instead of inside your main so your base units can’t get out, it will take him longer to reach you. Tech up so you can transport out.

Some further ideas that I haven’t had a chance to actually employ yet:

The minute you hit his main he’s going to probably warp in every cannon he can right around you and continue to every time he hits 150 minerals. If you have a small force, say three or four zealots, that might be a losing battle. Try to take out his probes first. If they run off, they aren’t mining, so he’s not going to build more cannons. If they run down the ramp, forget about his base and just move your units into a held position so they can never get back up it. (If he has to start building probes from scratch then you should have a nice advantage, and there’s a decent chance he doesn’t even have the 50 minerals for that.) If they just start running around, you’ve got marines, and his cannons aren’t close enough to hit you from behind his minerals, just hold position back there. Only attack his cannons as a last resort; focus on shattering his economy to sub-start game conditions and then just start a new base and wipe him out. You should still have all your workers. When that base finishes it should just feel like a minor setback.

That being said, most higher league players probably know all this, and they have more to lose point-wise from surrendering. Pure cannon rushing should not realistically ever work beyond Bronze/Silver league, so if that’s your strategy, stop.

Secondly, my original intent, small but continuous attacks.

I have won a ton of Bronze league games by rushing early and then just setting my rally point to the heart of the other guy’s base. This works really well in Bronze because the other guy is probably going to just throw every unit he produces straight into the fight. Even if all you manage to do is take out his force and a supply depot or pylon, maybe two or three workers, per push, you’ll win in Bronze. This has backfired for me tremendously against higher league players.

Even if you win the opening assault (which is a lot harder against a pro who’s going to employ chrono boost judiciously/not go for an immediate barracks reactor/etc), the minute that first wave’s dead and they see units marching in by one and two they’re going to just withdraw their guys from the fight for a bit. It only takes a handful of extra units to put a quick stop to it, and then they’ll have an immediate counterattack advantage. I have a lot less to say about this one. Just remember that small but relentless/continuous assaults on an enemy base early on is a good way to get counterattacked and lose. It works really well in Bronze league, but quit doing it.

Aaaand…. right before posting this I decided to play one last 1v1, Toss on Toss. We both went stalker and immortal, both lost all of our probes at one point, but I won because I expanded and he didn’t. I basically treated him exactly how I would treat Very Hard AI, with the exception of having to make some observers at one point. When the match ended I got promoted straight from Bronze to 5th place in a Gold league division. So much for relating to complete noob scenarios. I guess I’m somewhere in the middle now.

And so much for easy wins. :\

Song of the Day: We Are One (by Kelly Sweet)

Posted on by Arleigh

I think it’s time to slow things down a bit after several choices of rock and metal for Song of the Day. Thus, my pick for the latest Song of the Day is the song “We Are One” by Kelly Sweet.

Yes, I have a soft spot for adult contemporary singers like Kelly Sweet whose sound of modern jazz and classical leanings make for fine easy listening. Life can’t be all rock and metal. Got to have something relaxing and soothing once in awhile. Ms. Sweet is one of the hidden gems of the last couple years whose career is still doing a sow burn, but her debut album, also titled We Are One, has gained her quite a loyal following. The ballad chosen for the song of the day is one of her original songs in the album full of covers. While she does a great job doing both original and cover work, this paticular song is my favorite out of the bunch.

Her classical and jazz training gives her voice an almost ethereal quality during this song. It’s not too catchy and pop like her more successful contemporaries. Her songs are something both the younger and older generations can get into. This song will definitely not be something to inspire the casual booty call, but it is one that is definitely one to light up that slow burn romance that’s harder to create and even harder to keep.

We Are One

Didn’t need to ask
Don’t know the reason
Everything that I believe
Is right here

Not thinkin’ bout tomorrow
Couldn’t catch it if I tried
World is spinning too fast
So I’ll wait ’til it comes to me

I am you
You are me
We are one
Take me in your arms
And flow through me
I’ll flow through you

Steal my breath away
Cause I’m so moved by you
Deeper than I ever thought
Was possible, was possible, it’s everything, oh

Difference between me and you
It’s all in where your heart lies
And every day’s another chance
So let’s get it right

I am you
You are me
We are one
Take me in your arms
And flow through me
I’ll flow through you

Did you lose yourself out there
Did you lose faith and give up
Don’t turn away and hide yourself

Cause there’s a friend to make along the way
We are the heartbeat and our souls speak
And all the beauty I have ever dreamed
Is right here in front of me, oh

Is right here in front of me, oh

I am you
And you are me
We are one
Take me in your arms
And flow through me
I’ll flow through you…

Review: The Hills Have Eyes (dir. by Alexandre Aja)

Posted on by Arleigh

Many people have issues about remakes and reboots. They see it as unnecessary and a proof that the film industry has run out of ideas. I can’t say that either points have no validity to them, but I disagree with both.While all genres of film have had it’s share of remakes and reboots its the horror section of the film aisle which has seen the most. This shouldn’t come as a shock since horror has always been ripe for remakes. The stories in horror films have always been quite simple and producers take advantage of this by remaking them for a new generation. Take the simple set-up, change the time and setting with a new cast of cheap, unknown actors and you got yourself a horror flick which should make back its budget and make its filmmakers a profit.

While most horror remakes usually range from average to truly dreadful there comes a time when one comes out of the horror remake heap to actually show promise and quality not seen in its remake brethren. One such film is in the Alexandre Aja directed and Wes Craven produced The Hills Have Eyes. Aja’s The Hills Have Eyes is the rare horror remake in that its more than a match to Wes Craven’s original and, at times, surpasses it.

Alexandre Aja first burst onto the horror-cinema scene with his ambitious and grisly homage to grindhouse horror: Haute Tension. Haute Tension was one nasty piece of horror filmmaking which brought to mind 70’s and early 80’s horror exploitation and grindhouse mentality. Aja’s directorial debut was a no-hold-s-barred punch and kick to the stomach that was overtly violent and sublimely painful for the audience to watch. Aja was soon tapped by Wes Craven to lead the remake project of his own The Hills Have Eyes and to Aja’s growing reputation as a rising star of horror, he grew as a filmmaker and more than earned this reputation.

Aja’s The Hills Have Eyes follows pretty much the very same story and characters as the original. This remake has abit more of a political sense to its storytelling in that it doesn’t just pit the basic premise of civilized humans versus the primal inbred, mutant hill dweller, but also the different demographics of red state versus blue state. This theme was hammered through to the audience through the subsurface conflict between Big Bob Carter’s (well-played by industry veteran Ted Levine) red state gung-ho ex-detective and his son-in-law Doug’s (X2‘s Aaron Stafford) pacifist mentality. I think this new wrinkle in the original’s sparse and tight story was unnecessary and unsubtly done. I really didn’t want to know what political leanings and motivations the Carter family members followed. What I did care about was how they would react to the outside forces that was soon to menace and attack them.

The first half of the film was very deliberate in its set-up as it slowly built up the tension and dread as the Carter family’s journey through a supposedly short-cut through the desert put them closer and closer to the dangerous people who dwelt amongst the hills bordering the desert road. Once the family becomes stranded in the middle of nowhere the fun begins for horror-aficionados. For those who have seen the original this remake doesn’t deviate from the main story. The hill people who, up until now have only been glimpsed through quick shadowy movements across the screen, were the true cause of the family’s predicament attack in a brutal and grisly fashion. None of the Carter family members were spared from this attack. From Big Bob Carter, his wife Ethel, their three children, son-in-law and young granddaughter they all suffer in one form or another. The night attack on the camper is the main highlight of the film and shows that Aja hasn’t lost his touch for creating a horror setpiece that doesn’t hold back. From the brutal rape of the Carter’s youngest daughter Brenda to the sudden deaths of several Carter family members. This sequence was both fast-paced and chaotic in nature. It also helped push the definition of what constitute a very hard R-rating. Just like Zombie’s The Devil’s Rejects and Roth’s Hostel, The Hills Have Eyes pushed the limits and boundaries of what the MPAA has allowed so far in terms of on-screen violence when it was first released in 2006. I’m very surprised that some of the violence and deaths in this film made the final cut. This film definitely brings back the 70’s style horror.

The cast for this remake was one high point that the original didn’t have. Where Craven had a very inexperienced cast for the original film. Aja had the luxury of a bigger budget to hire a more competent and able group of actors. A cast that was led by Ted Levine who shined in his role as the patriarch of the civilized Carters. Kathleen Quinlan as the mother of the bunch soldiers on even though its almost predestined in films such as this that she would be one of the doomed. The two daughters as played by Vinessa Shaw and Lost’s Emilie De Ravin were quite good in roles that involved some very graphic rape sequences. Much kudos must go to De Ravin for having to perform through her scene during the trailer-camper attack. But the two actors who excelled in the film has to be pacifist turned avenging angel Doug as played by Aaron Stafford. We see in his character Doug the lengths a civilized human being would go through to survive and protect those he cares for. Even if this means resorting to becoming more brutal and primal than the inbred, mutant hill dwellers. It’s in Doug’s character where the basic premise of the clash of the modern with the primitive comes close to matching the same theme in the original. To a smaller degree this was also echoed in the Carter’s teenage son Bobby. Dan Byrd of Entourage plays Bobby Carter and its in him we see the level-headedness of the family. Despite all the horror and carnage he has seen the hill dwellers have inflicted on his family, Bobby remains somewhat calm and even-keeled to protect what is left of his family. The only drawback as to the cast itself was that the opposing family seemed to have been shortchanged. In the original we actually got to understand some of the motivations that drove the hill dwellers to prey on unsuspecting travelers through their area. In this remake the hill dwellers seem more like superhuman monsters and boogeymen. It didn’t bother me as much, but then it also lessened the impact of the story’s basic premise of civilization versus primitives.

Lastly, the look of the film helps add to the grindhouse nature of Aja’s remake. The film has an oversaturated look and feel that took advantage of the desert location and the high-sun overhead. This oversaturation of the film’s look also lends some credence to its grindhouse sensibilities. It looked, felt and acted like something made during the late 70’s and early 80’s. For most fans of horror it would really come down to the special-effects used to show the death and violence’s impact on the audience. Once again, Greg Nicotero and his crew at KNB EFX house show that they’re the premiere effects house. The make-up used to show the mutant effects on the survivors of the original inhabitants of the hills was excellently done. The same goes for the gags used to show the many brutal and messy deaths of both families.

There’s no denying that The Hills Have Eyes was all about pain when boiled down to its most basic denominator. This film is all about pushing the boundaries and piling on violence upon violence. The Hills Have Eyes is not a film that tells us violence solves nothing. Here it does solve the problem for the Carter clan and is also the only avenue of survival of the remaining Carters. The same goes for the nuclear survivors and their offspring who stayed in the irradiated zones that was their home. This film is all about survival and the levels and heights individuals would take to achieve it.

The Hills Have Eyes might not be the original second helping some have expected from Aja after his brilliant, if somewhat flawed first major film with Haute Tension, but it does show his growth as a filmmaker and his clean grasp of what makes horror cinema truly terrifying and uncomfortable. Two ingredients that makes for making a genre exploitation fare into something of a classic. I’m sure that outside of the horror-aficionado circles this film will either be met with indifference or disgust, but for those who revel in this type of filmmaking then it’s a glorious continuation of the grindhouse horror revival that began with Aja’s own Haute Tension, continued by Zombie’s The Devil’s Rejects, Roth’s Hostel  and continues to live each and every year with the many direct-to-video releases of cheap, but very good horror films. It truly is a great time to be a fan of horror and Aja’s The Hills Have Eyes more than holds its own against Craven’s original.

Probicus Parley 001

Posted on by necromoonyeti

Probicus Parley
A Starcraft 2 Daily

001

I would like to start writing a short daily article on Starcraft 2. I will try to play at least one game, maybe a ladder match, maybe a co-op, maybe a custom, every day, and if I learn something new in that match I will write about it. My advantage: I am not very good yet. I will occasionally watch replays, play UMS maps, and seek tutorials, and if they are entertaining or informative I will pass them along. I am not particularly active in any Starcraft 2 communities, so I won’t be choosing the best of the best. I will be choosing what I find useful.

I’m mainly doing this for kicks/to track my own progress, but hopefully this should serve as a tool for players who take the game at least somewhat seriously but are by no means experts – players who have probably heard of Team Liquid but feel a little overwhelmed and subsequently discouraged when they go there. If I write about something that makes you roll your eyes and go “everyone knows that”, good. If I write about something that should make you roll your eyes etc. but doesn’t, better. I will try to throw the meat of my post out early and save my rambling for the unnecessary paragraphs that may follow.

About me: As of this post I am ranked 1st in a lowly Bronze league division, playing only enough to hold onto my lead and training against the computer for a while before I make a move to advance. I currently hold a 22-16 1v1 record, with 10 of those losses coming in my first 12 games. I am in a Platinum league 2v2 team, but have not done much since placing there. I played Brood War obsessively, but seldom competitively.

So without further ado, today’s topic: Training on Very Hard: Don’t Outsmart the AI

Playing against Very Hard AI seems like an excellent way to start preparing yourself to be at least a Gold league level player. You don’t wrack up 1v1 losses and you can learn to break out of your stalker (or in my case void ray)/marine/hydra shell at your own pace. Two key points here:

Stalker/marine/hydra massing will win most Bronze league games, but only because your opponent is playing beyond their means or trying to cheese. If you want to have any chance of winning later on, it’s a good idea to start diversifying now. Don’t spam your way to a higher league and then go oh shit, what do I do now, my opponent actually knows how to micro sentries.

The computer at Very Hard AI can force you to improve, but only if you let it. Play 1v1c custom games, and lots of them, but resist the urge to outsmart the AI when it’s beating you outright. The minute you start tricking it you’re learning nothing. Oh cool I can make it rally all of its marauders to my void ray army. A total waste of time. If you reach a point where you can’t win conventionally, lose and try again. If you feel like you can win without taking at least one expansion, expand anyway. If you know that zerg AI always goes roaches/hydras and you just saw an overlord, scout their base anyway. Maintain map vision coverage even though their expansion order and attack routes are predictable. Force yourself to go through all of the precautions necessary against humans that you wouldn’t take against the computer until you can do so and win consistently in a conventional manner. Only play on ladder maps and always set the computer to Random.

I have only won I think seven Very Hard matches, so if this article was useful we’re probably still in the same boat. The first thing you’re going to catch on to is that you need to pump out units early. A closing point:

Don’t be satisfied with your defense of the Very Hard AI’s opening rush until you can defend it with most of your units still standing. Whether this is directly applicable in high league ladder matches or not is irrelevant. The skills you develop in managing your base quickly early on and microing against the rush effectively without tricking/confusing the AI should be beneficial at all stages of the competitive game.

For tomorrow’s topic I’m kicking around the idea of highlighting techniques that work in Bronze league that you should stop using. The focus: If it doesn’t work against Very Hard AI it’s probably not going to work against higher league human players.

If you have any questions there are probably better people to ask than me, but I would be thrilled to attempt to answer them. Comment away.

Review: Piranha 3-D (directed by Alexandre Aja)

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Yesterday, I had two concerns about going to see the new horror film, Piranha 3-D.

First off, I know that 3-D has been hailed as “the future of movies” and that apparently, Webster’s is considering whether to recognize 3Dgasm (which is the response that certain film goers have to 3-D regardless of whether the movie itself is actually good or if it’s just Avatar) for inclusion in the next edition of the dictionary.  However, 3-D often makes me sick to my stomach and I mean that literally.  3-D makes me feel car sick.  Considering that I love movies, if 3-D is the “future” than I’m probably being punished for something.  That’s right.  Avatar was just a result of my bad karma. 

As for the second concern, I can’t swim and I am terrified of being underwater.  Hanging onto the edge while wading in the shallow side of my uncle’s swimming pool is about as submerged as I can get without having a major freak out.  It’s not just drowning that scares me.   When I was 17, my family spent the summer in Hawaii and my sisters (being the meanies that they are) had a lot of fun with the fact that I’d spend hours lying out on the beach but I refused to even step into the ocean.  It made sense to me.  There were jellyfish and sharks and those weird little black coil things just floating around in the ocean.  Thanks to seeing Piranha 3-D, I now know that there are also cute little fish that will eat you.

I dealt with my fear of the water by asking my sister Erin (who can actually swim because she’s cool and I’m not) to see the movie with me and to keep me calm if I started to have a panic attack.  She agreed and she did an admirable job.  She also helped me deal with my fear of 3-D when, during the coming attractions, she said, “Why don’t you take a Dramamine?”  Now, according to Erin, the only reason she said this was because apparently I was “going on and on” about it.  That’s not how I remember it but I just happened to have some Dramamine in my purse and I quickly popped a few.

If you’ve ever taken Dramamine then you know the way that it works is by basically kicking your ass until you pass out for a few hours.  (I occasionally resort to using it whenever I’m getting hit with insomnia.)  Within minutes of taking it, the Dramamine was saying, “Sleep, Lisa…”  “But I want to see the movie,” I replied.  “That wasn’t a request,” the pill responded.  “Dammit, will you two shut up!?” Erin snapped.  (That may have not actually happened.) 

The point of all this is that I stayed awake through the entire movie, despite having taken the most powerful sleeping pill in existence.  True, my mind did go a little bit goofy (Erin says I was “babbling” through the entire film) but it never shut down.  That’s the type of movie Piranha 3-D is.  The story moves so quickly and the mayhem is so over-the-top and excessive that the brain never gets a chance to relax enough to check out.

Piranha 3-D begins with an earthquake in Arizona.  The earthquake opens up a passageway to an underground lake.  As look would have it, the underground lake is full of a bunch of prehistoric piranha.  These piranha quickly move up to an above-ground lake where they promptly eat Richard Dreyfuss.  Having gotten a taste of Dreyfuss, they apparently decide to eat every other human being they come across and who can blame them?

Actually, the bloody and graphic demise of Richard Dreyfuss was the first clue I had that this film was going to work.  Needless to say, Dreyfuss is the last surviving star of the original killer fish movie, Jaws.  In Jaws, Dreyfuss is plays a character named Matt Hooper.  In Piranha, he’s just named Matt.  By introducing him and then promptly killing him off, Piranha lets us know that it understands the legacy of previous horror blockbusters (like Jaws) but that it has no intention of respecting it.  In other words, this scene lets us know early on that the film is on the side of the fish.

Anyway, it turns out that its spring break and as a result, Lake Victoria, Arizona is full of stupid, drunken college students who are determined to hang out in the water no matter how many people get eaten.  Sheriff Julie Forrester (Elisabeth Shue) struggles to maintain order on the streets with the help of her loyal deputy (a very likeable Ving Rhames).  Julie is also a single mother and, the morning after ol’ Richard Dreyfuss gets devoured, her oldest son Jake (Steven R. McQueen, grandson of the star of Enemy of the People) blows off his baby-sitting duties and agrees to help sleazy Derrick Jones (Jerry O’Connell) film the latest installment of Girls Gone Wild on the lake.  Sleazy, speedo-clad Derrick (and the fact that O’Connell looks really good in it doesn’t make that red speedo any less ludicrous) attempts to initiate Kelly (Jessica Szhor), the “good” girl who Jake likes into the world of straight-to-video, jailbait porn.  Kelly, by the way, kinda has a boyfriend, a guy named Todd who will eventually end up killing a lot of people with a motorboat.  Even before this, we know he’s a bad guy because he’s named Todd.  Nobody named Todd or Tad is ever good in a horror movie.

Director Alexandre Aja doesn’t take much time introducing his cast of characters and he takes even less time in letting the fish devour them.  So, no, the characters aren’t exactly all that developed.  But it doesn’t matter really.  With what little they have to work with, the cast works wonders.  They know exactly what type of film that they’re in and they know why they are there and they embrace their roles as piranha fodder with an impressive sense of commitment.  Best of all is O’Connell who turns sleazy, coke-fueled egomania into some sort of art form.

The real star of the film, of course, is director Alexandra Aja who takes a mainstream genre piece and who, much like his fellow French director, Jean Rollin, transforms it into a piece of pure grindhouse exploitation.  Aja may use the clichés of the genre but he never blindly embraces them.  Instead, he uses them to comment on both the genre and the audiences expectations of what those cliches mean.  Aja takes everything we’ve come to expect — the blood and gore, the standard plot device of Shue’s children being stranded out on the lake, and the sudden death of nameless extras — and he then pushes them just a little further than the audience is expecting,  As a result, he not only comments on those expectations but he forces the audience to question them as well.

This is never more apparent than in the film’s climatic piranha attack.  This is when the piranha finally get around to attacking all of the swimmers at once.  This is the scene that we all know is coming and that we’ve all been expecting and Aja does not disappoint.  Things start out as you might expect.  Close-up of bikinis.  Drunk idiots in the water.  A wet t-shirt contest.  Rhamas and Shue come up in a boat and start yelling, “Everybody out of the water!”  Because they’re a bunch of drunk dumbfugs, everyone responds by jumping into the water.  Cut to an ominous piranha point-of-view shot.  Suddenly, one woman — floating out in an inntertube — shouts, “Something bit me!”  And suddenly, all Hell breaks loose.

This is the scene you knew was coming and you’ve seen it a hundred times before.  What makes it memorable here is just how far director Aja takes things.  These fish don’t just bite their victims.  They literally devour them while the camera lingers over every piece of flesh that floats through the ocean.  As everyone struggles to get out of the water, they get their skulls split open by passing boats.  In the background, we see various feet, hands, and other body parts randomly floating in the water.  One older man pulls his friend’s torso onto the beach and cradles it while screaming, “I love you, man!  I love you!”  As Shue tries to pull people out of the water, we see a teenager that’s already on the boat start to shake as his life expires.  As I mentioned before, Todd tries to escape by forcing his motorboat through the crowd of terrified swimmers and graphically dismembers a lot of people in the process.  It’s an incredibly graphic sequence, one that starts out as fun but which just keeps going and going,  Director Aja understands that the audiences is expecting — probably even looking forward to — seeing a little blood.  So, instead he assaults us with a lot of blood and he does so in such a way that the audience is forced to question why a little blood is fun but a lot of blood is disturbing.  It’s as if Aja is saying, “You wanted to see people die, well — here they are, dead.  You feel better now?”

As for the 3-D, Aja proves himself to be one of the few filmmakers to understand that 3-D is not the future of movies.  It’s just another gimmick to be exploited and exploit it he does.  However, he does so brilliantly and he is so shameless about it that watching Piranha 3-D simply serves to reiterate just how silly the whole 3-D craze really is.  Every short is a tracking shot.  The CGI piranha float across the screen, stopping momentarily to stare straight out at the audience and almost wink.  The men in the audience seemed to be especially happy about all the boobs that literally seem to swing out of the screen and across the theater but they were a bit less enthused when a disembodied penis came floating out of the screen.  By not only fully embracing the ludicrous possibilities of 3-D but by also doing so without any shamefaced attempts to justify its use, Piranha 3-D is perhaps the greatest 3-D movie ever made.

Ambieber

Posted on by necromoonyeti


I will hold my incredible taste and not my complete lack of social contacts to “blame” for having never before heard of the supposed pop sensation Justin Bieber. But I remember NSync, the Backstreet Boys, and similar disasters: These unforgivable icons who severed unscrupulously from the first rule of popstar trash ethics. (If you suck horribly as a musician, you must compensate with nice tits.) It would appear however, as recently discovered by ambient artist Shamantis, that this Bieber fellow has had you all fooled. Those vile record producers took his 35 minute Sigur Rós-esque ambient masterpiece U Smile and sped it up into some five minute trashy pop single.

Or maybe the moral of Shamantis’s experiment is that sound is all relative. The worst garbage on the market can speak in tongues. The complete version of U Smile 800% slower can be found and downloaded below. An abbreviated youtube version follows:

http://soundcloud.com/shamantis/j-biebz-u-smile-800-slower

A Quickie Review: The Expendables (dir. by Sylvester Stallone)

Posted on by Arleigh

Lisa Marie has already done a wonderful job of reviewing Sylvester Stallone’s latest action vehicle, The Expendables. I’ll keep my review to a quickie format since her review went into detail and my thoughts ran at a similar path.

To start things I will say that despite the obvious gigantic leaps in logic one may have to take to buy into Stallone’s latest once that leap has been taken then The Expendables becomes a piece of mind-numbingly loud, fun and entertaining piece of popcorn cinema. Yes, this film is not going to break any new grounds in cinematic history (though in terms of piecing together a cast so manly and testosterone-fueled it may). Stallone will not have found his inner-Bergman or even his closeted-McTiernan. What The Expendables has shown would be how Stallone knows exactly what his core audience wants to see.

His film is quite lean to the level of anorexic when one has to describe it’s plot and characters. The film’s main plot involves Stallone and his band of expert mercenaries (using the film’s title as their name) being hired by a Mr. Church (Bruce Willis in an uncredited cameo) who wants them to overthrow a certain dictator-general who rules a small South American island nation called Vilena. Stallone and his writers try to add some complexities to this set-up of past CIA dealings with the general and rogue agents (sounds like rogue CIA agents are the villains of the season for 2010 with The Losers and The A-Team also having their own rogue agent) and daddy issues. But all that was just gristle that could’ve been taken out of the porterhouse that this film ended up being.

The Expendables works best when bought into it as being a throwback, meat and potatoes type of action flick. It definitely owes much to the many action flicks that got churned out for film and direct-to-video in the hundreds during the 80’s. Even the casting brings to mind the typical casting list of 80’s action. Take the most recognizable (then move down the tiers) action stars of the day, put them together, add guns and explosions and you got yourself an actioner. And boy does this flick have tons of explosions and a veritable buffet table of weapons on-hand. My favorite has to be the AA-12 assault shotgun carried by Terry Crews’ character Caesar. A character who seemed written just someone will come into an action scene firing this most awesome of weapons. When Crews’ Caesar does put the AA-12 into use the theater I was in erupted in cheers (yeah, cheering nameless soldiers getting shotgunned off their feet seems tackless, but oh so fun!).

I really don’t need to go too much into the plot in detail. What I had mentioned earlier and what Lisa Marie has already written pretty much explains everything. The film’s cast of past and current action stars have chemistry together. Though I will say that the chemistry may be just due to the fact that they all are in on the joke while making the film. They seem to know not to take the screenplay seriously and just go with the flow of the action. We’re not watching a film about Stallone’s character interacting with Statham’s or Rourke’s or Li’s. We’re watching Stallone shooting the shit with the others and there just happened to be cameras around them rolling. The only thing missing from the non-action scenes between the cast members were stripper poles, dancers and a few Hell’s Angels bikers doing boucner duties (maybe the director’s cut edition of the dvd/blu-ray will put those back in).

Now, what would a Stallone flick be without talking about the action. While the action scenes are not revolutionary and not even stylisticly different the way the action in The Losers and The A-Team were shot again Stallone stuck to 80’s meat-and-potatoes. The action scenes were reminiscent of scenes from Commando, Rambo: First Blood Part II and Die Hard. It was a by-the-numbers, point a to point b style of filming an action scene that audiences will accept with a nostalgic smile or dismiss as being boring and been-there-done-that. The one thing Stallone added to these scenes which made them feel somewhat fresh and new was the brutal and gory way people reactedwhen their clumsiness made them get in the way of the thousands of bullets, shotgun shells and explosions. Stallone first showed this in its over-the-top glory in his previous film, Rambo, and he uses the same style in a slightly more subdued way in this film.

I will like to point out one particular action sequence which was brief but done with a certain panache that convinced me that Stallone should just crank out action flicks for the rest of his career. I’m talking about a point in the middle section of the flick when Stallone and Statham use their team seaplane to strafe then firebomb the waterfront docks in Vilena. Part of me knew what was going to happen when they began their run but by the time it ended I was smiling like a goofy 8-year old kid watching his first rated-R action movie. Yeah, The Expendables definitely plucked the nostalgia strings in this film-fan’s heart.

One other way to look at this flick is to compare it to Stallone’s Rambo which also had a mercenary team who unwittingly becomes sidekick to Rambo by the film’s end. I, and more than a few other reviewers, where actually interested in seeing a film with Rambo and said mercenary team in a film together. While such a film would’ve been one of the most violent if not the stadard bearer if ever made we’ll just have to settle for a more tame version with The Expendables. Maybe this flick will make that particular spin-off happen down the line.

I would like to say that The Expendables had more to offer than the guns, explosions and overwhelming aura of testosterone, but I’d lying if I did. That’s all one needed to know going into the theater to watch this flick. To expect anymore, even a decent dialogue, would be asking for sauteed mushrooms and artichokes when all that’s needed is that porterhouse cooked just above rare and a six-pack of brews. Just think of The Expendables as that kind of meal and one will enjoy the bloody fun being had by all on the big-screen.


Review: The Walking Dead Volume 2 (by Robert Kirkman)

Posted on by Arleigh

[Some Spoilers Within]

Robert Kirkman’s The Walking Dead Vol.2 – Miles Behind Us puts together issues 7 through 12 into one collection. The first six issues introduce the reader to the main character of Rick Grimes and his discovery of a world turned upside-down and inside-out as the legions of undead walk and prowl the streets, fields and by-ways. The rest of that first volume reunites Rick with his wife and son and a ragtag bunch of other survivors just looking for a safe place to stay. I loved how Kirkman used the backdrop on a world of the undead to tell a story of survival and how extreme situations can have surprising and lasting effects on those left behind.

In Miles Behind Us, Robert Kirkman’s story has a new artist in Charlie Adlard. Adlard’s style has a different look to that of previous artist Tony Moore. Where Moore’s pages and panels had a smoother and more cinematic feel to them, Adlard’s rougher, sketchy style actually fits the mood and feel of the story Kirkman is writing. I love Moore’s work and the gory detail he put in the first issues, but Adlard’s just seems to resonate a bit more with the subject matter of survival and doing what it takes to survive. There’s certain scenes in Miles Behind Us where its hard to tell the difference between the survivors and the zombies. I like this technique in how it shows that the zombies and the survivors may have alot more in common after all in relation to the title of the story.

Kirkman introduces in this volume quite a bit of new characters to the group Rick is leading as they leave the campground at the outskirts of Atlanta. They’ve lost three of their numbers in the previous volume. Two of them to the predations of the undead who stumbled into their campground and another to the stress and jealousy that weighed on the mind of one of their own.

Miles Behind Us brings in two groups of survivors. One is a father, his daughter and the girl’s boyfriend. Tyrese is an interesting character right from the get-go and hints of problems with the daughter and boyfriend are gradually doled out to help bring in new conflicts to the group dynamic. The other group is a farmer and his children and some neighbors from down the road. The introduction of Herschel and his family helps in showing how not everyone reacted the same way to the undead crisis. To say that Herschel’s reaction and temporary solution to how to handle the undead crisis was a bad idea all-around was an understatement. Hershel’s actions helps lead to the biggest sequence event in this volume and how far-reaching its ramifications are. While new characters are introduced some of the people in Rick’s group fall by the wayside as their search for a safe place to stay in becomes more and more dangerous and people are lost and/or nearly lost along the way.

I agree with the assertion that The Walking Dead is really not all about the zombies and the gore (it helps that it has them in abundance), but that its about the effects of extreme events and situations on the personality, psyche and behavior of those left behind trying to survive. From the Dale (the oldest) all the way down to Carl (one of the youngest), the survivors are affected right down to their bones with all that has happened to them. Sometimes the result makes each individual stronger and at times it just leads to conflicts and brings out the baser nature of man as an individual.

Miles Behind Us continued to impress me in how well Kirkman has taken the zombie apocalypse theme and ran with it. It’s a testament to his storytelling and imagination that I consider The Walking Dead series as equal to anything Romero has done. I think from fans of zombie and apocalyptic stories that’s high praise indeed.

The Walking Dead – 5 New Pics from AMC

Posted on by Arleigh

The parade of new promo materials from AMC in regards to their upcoming zombie apocalypse tv series, The Walking Dead, continues with the release of 5 new production photos from the pilot episode (directed by series producer and showrunner, Frank Darabont).

From what I could gather from these five new production photos these shots were taken probably close to the end of the pilot as Rick makes his way into Atlanta in search of Lori and Carl, his wife and son. There’s no denying that I’m very hyped for this show to air. The comic book has been an obsession of mine for over 5 years now and going onto its 6th year.

If we’re to believe what Darabont, Kirkman and Hurd have mentioned before, during and after San Diego Comic-Con then AMC have been very hands-off about how to handle the violence and gore in The Walking Dead as a tv adaptation. While these photos doesn’t show much gore outside of the numerous zombie make-up effects there’s the 4th pic that shows what could be the series’ very first gore money-shot. The angle is all wrong in the shot, but if they sot it from a higher angle as well then here’s to hoping they show some of it. It definitely will show some sort of gutmunching.

One thing which was mentioned during the Q&A at the panel for The Walking Dead at Comic-Con was a possibility of the first season being shown as B&W just like Darabon’t B&W version of his own apocalptic-horror, The Mist. The series won’t be shown in B&W when it premieres, but Darabont is hoping that when the first season dvd comes out that a B&W version may just be included. Here’s to hoping that he does do what he’s hoping for.

Below are the same 5 pics from above but treated as if taken from a B&W airing.

Source: AMC – The Walking Dead Gallery

Black Swan Teaser Trailer (dir. Darren Aronofsky)

Posted on by Arleigh

The first official trailer for Darren Aronofsky’s next film has been released.

Black Swan stars Natalie Portman, Mila Kunis, Vincent Cassel, Barbara Hershey and Winona Ryder. It’s a psychological thriller based on the script by Mark Heyman and sets the film in the competitive world of ballet. The film will have its premiere at the 67th Venice Film Festival this coming September 2010 with another screening soon after in the same month at the 35th Toronto International Film Festival. The film will open to limited release in early December to qualify it for the award season for 2010.

The trailer definitely has been getting much buzz since it’s release on August 17th, 2010. Some have called it Fight Club for women just from the series of clips and images which made up the teaser trailer. While I won’t say that these individuals are right or wrong, to try and determine what the film is about in just a 2-minute trailer is idiotic. The film definitely plays on the psychological aspect of the story with Natalie Portman’s character the main focus of all the happenings going on around her.

Ms. Portman’s career should get another boost from this role as she continues to move away from her half a decade spent on the Star Wars universe. She has definitely made a concerted effort to pick roles as diverse as possible to avoid being typecase in any one particular role. Already an Oscar nominee for her work in Closer there’s a good chance that she may get another for her work on Black Swan. We will see if the buzz on that rumor will have weight come September 2010 when the film premieres n the Fall Film Festival season.