I Watched Blood, Sweat and Cheer (2023, Dir. by Traci Hayes)


Divorcee Renee (Tammin Sursok) is so upset when her teenage daughter Cherie (Monroe Cline) moves in with her father that, despite being nearly 40, Renee enrolls in high school and becomes a cheerleader.

PARENTS!  DO NOT DO THIS!

This was based on a true story.  A 30 year-old mother imitated her 13 year-old daughter, enrolled in a middle school and spent a day there, posting to social media.  She was eventually arrested for trespassing and tampering with government records.  She said she was doing it to make a point about school’s not being secure enough and she certainly did that.  But, even if the real mother did make her point, I repeat:

PARENTS!  DO NOT DO THIS!

DO NOT EVER EVER DO THIS!

Your children will never forgive you if you do.  High school is not your place.  Your place is drinking wine and talking to your girlfriends about how much you love Andy Cohen.

In this film, Renee looks a lot older than 30 and she also manages to stay enrolled in the school for nearly an entire semester.  She becomes a cheerleader!  She dates a student!  A teacher get uncomfortable when she flirts with him because she’s too young.  She kills people to hide her secret because she’s having so much fun in school.  But she looks like she’s closer to 50 than 40.  It takes more than getting bangs to erase those age lines.  Is everyone at the school blind?

It’s not a very plausible movie but, when I was a cheerleader in high school, there were a lot of cheer moms who would have loved to have enrolled in the school and taken their daughter’s place on the squad.  None of them were crazy enough to try it, though.  Instead, they would just sit in on practice and make everyone uncomfortable.

Luckily, this movie is a comedy and it made me laugh enough for me recommend it.  Renee just went to such extremes to try to reclaim her high school years.  Cheer moms are crazy.  You have to laugh.

Cleaning Out The DVR, Again #29: You May Now Kill The Bride (dir by Kohl Glass)


(Lisa is currently in the process of trying to clean out her DVR by watching and reviewing all 40 of the movies that she recorded from the start of March to the end of June.  She’s trying to get it all done by July 11th!  Will she make it!?  Keep visiting the site to find out!)

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The 29th film on my DVR was You May Now Kill The Bride!  You May Now Kill The Bride originally aired on Lifetime on June 4th, during which time I took part in one of the most epic live tweets ever.  This was one of those films that brought out the best in everyone!

First off, You May Now Kill The Bride wins points for having one of the most brilliant titles of all time.  Not only does it tell you exactly what the film is about (i.e., weddings and killings) but it sets the tone perfectly.  When you see a title like You May Now Kill The Bride, you know that there’s no need to even try to take what you’re about to see seriously.  You May Now Kill The Bride says “Sit back and have fun.”

You May Now Kill The Bride tells the story of Nicole (Ashley Newbrough), a 30-s0mething teacher who has yet to get married or have children.  Almost everyone has given up on the idea of Nicole ever finding true love.  And, really, that’s okay because Nicole has a fun-loving best friend named Celine (Aubrey Reynolds), who is always available to come over to the house and get drunk.

However, to everyone’s shock, Nicole meets and falls in love with the handsome and sensitive Mark (Rocky Myers).  Mark asks Nicole to marry him and it’s really great because Mark is not only nice to look at but he owns a really nice house as well.  He also has a stepsister named Audrey (Tammin Sursok) and here’s where things start to get a little bit complicated.

Y’see, Audrey isn’t quite sane.  Not only is she obsessed with her stepbrother but she’s also interested in being Nicole’s best friend at well.  Even though Celine immediately decides that Audrey is crazy, Nicole insists on making Audrey a bridesmaid.

Why not maid of honor?

Well, Celine already has that job.  Or, at least, Celine has that job until she mysteriously ends up getting tossed over the ledge of a parking garage…

Now, it may sound like Audrey is really dangerous but actually, I think she was only trying to help out her new sister-in-law.  During an earlier scene, Nicole announced that she was going to wear perhaps the least flattering wedding dress that I have ever seen in a Lifetime movie.  Celine supported Ncole’s decision.  Audrey, however, immediately started to plot to destroy the dress.

Sometimes, a bridesmaid just has to do what a bridesmaid has to do.

It is true that, plotwise, You May Now Kill The Bride may be a perfectly standard Lifetime story.  But the cast throws themselves into their roles, the dialogue is full of snarkiness, and Tammin Sursok fully commits to playing obsessive Audrey.  This is a film that lives up to the crazy promise of its name.