Happy Halloween everyone!
Well, as another horrorthon draws to a close, it’s time for another Shattered Lens tradition! Every Halloween, we share one of the greatest and most iconic horror films ever made. For your Halloween enjoyment, here is George Romero’s Night of the Living Dead!
(Be sure to read Arleigh’s equally famous review!)
On October 1st, Case reviewed Moon. What better way to celebrate October 31st than taking a trip to the moon with classic film that came out 120 years ago?
Directed and written by Georges Melies, A Trip to The Moon is often cited as the first sci-fi film and the image of the capsule crashing into the eye of the man in the moon is one of the most iconic in film history. Seen today, the film seems both charmingly innocent and remarkably ahead of its time.
For me, it always takes a minute or two to adjust to the aesthetic of early films. We’ve grown so used to all the editing tricks that modern filmmakers use to tell their stories that these old silent films, with their lack of dramatic camera movement and obvious theatrical origins, often take some effort to get used to. Still, the effort is often worth it.
Here then is Georges Melies’s 1902 science fiction epic, A Trip To The Moon.
In the 2015 film, God’s Club, Stephen Baldwin stars as Michael Evens.
Michael is a teacher at the local high school. His wife is also a teacher and it is quickly established that she is quite a bit more religious than her husband. In fact, she’s the sponsor of the after-school Christian club. This club is very controversial because God’s Club is one of those films that takes place in a community where everyone is not only an atheist but also a total jerk about it. It’s like everyone learned how to be an atheist by watching Richard Dawkins YouTube videos. At a school board meeting, parents shout about separation of church and state and warn that they are not going to sit by while their children are brainwashed. Principal Max Graves (Corbin Bernsen, giving the film’s best performance as the sole voice of reason at the high school) explains that no one is being forced to attend the club. Michael, for his part, remains quiet. Later, as they’re driving home, Michael and his wife are in a serious accident. Michael survives. His wife asks him to pray with her and then promptly dies.
Weeks later, a guilt-stricken Michael returns to school. It turns out that most of the students are just as jerky as their parents. When Michael opens his class with a moment of silence for his dead wife, one of his students reports him for praying in class. This leads to the parents demanding that Michael be fired. Spencer Rivers (played by Lorenzo Lamas) is especially adamant that Michael should not be allowed to teach and he even goes so far as to insult the memory of Michael’s dead wife. Making things even more tense is Michael’s decision to restart God’s Club himself. Needless to say, this leads to even more controversy but it also gives Michael a chance to make peace with both himself and his guilt over his wife’s death.
Christian teachers being persecuted by atheist parents and mindless government enforcers is a recurring theme when it comes to faith-based films. Perhaps the best-known example of this is God’s Not Dead 2, in which Ray Wise literally cackles with delight as he thinks about ruining Melissa Joan Hart’s life. (“We are going to prove that God is dead,” Wise explains to his legal team, none of whom point out that it would be smarter to just settle the case and move on.) The debate over whether or not religion should be allowed in schools is a legitimate one but films like God’s Club (and God’s Not Dead 2) tend to approach the subject in such a melodramatic that it’s difficult to really pay much attention to their arguments. It’s not enough that the parents in God’s Club are perhaps being a little bit paranoid in their belief that their children are going to be preached to. Instead, the parents are portrayed as being so evil that they can’t even show the least bit of kindness to a man who has just lost his wife in a sudden tragedy. One thing that all of these films have in common is that they take place in world in which there are no polite atheists.
Stephen Baldwin, who is usually the only lively thing about the films in which appears, gives a rather stilted performance as Michael. According to the film’s IMDb page, Baldwin was dealing with some health issues while filming God’s Club and perhaps that’s why he seems to be so disinterested in the film. Baldwin seems to be just as depressed when his wife is alive as he is after the car accident. At the end of the film, everyone seems to be excited about God’s Club except for him. It’s hard not to think that maybe Michael would be better off just retiring and maybe moving to Florida. By the end of the film, he’s earned some time on the beach.
Because it’s nearly Halloween, here’s a special bonus television episode!
After I reviewed I Was A Teenage Werewolf, this episode was recommended to me by Mark, one of our regular readers in Australia. Highway to Heaven was a TV show about an angel and a human who traveled across the country and helped people out. It aired for 5 seasons in the 80s and it’s pretty much achieved immortality via syndication and streaming. It starred Michael Landon who also starred in I Was A Teenage Werewolf. As you call from this episode, he obviously had sense of humor about his early film career.
This originally aired on October 28th, 1987. The series was a bit silly but this episode is kind of fun.
Happy Halloween!
Oh no! Halloween might be canceled because people just aren’t scared of the old monsters! Dracula (Judd Hirsch) calls all of the classic creatures to a meeting in his castle (where they all happen to be freeloading) and give them an ultimatum. Be more scary! It turns out to be easier said than done.
This originally aired in 1979 but, for people of a certain age, it achieved a certain immortality thanks to regular airings on the Disney Channel. It’s a cute show. It might seem a little bit corny today but that’s a large part of its appeal. It’s a reminder of a more innocent time.
Warren the Werewolf, by the way, was named after Warren “Werewolves of London” Zevon.
A group of cultists who worship Death are threatening to destroy the world so a mysterious operative named Alice (Christina Licciardi) assembles a group of fairy tale villains and heroes to help defeat them. Unfortunately, getting The Big Bad Wolf, Goldilocks, the Mad Hatter, Bluebeard, and a host of others to work together isn’t as easy as it should be. Complicating things is the evil Rumpelstiltskin (Johnny Rey Diaz), who is imprisoned with a mask over his face to keep him from convincing anyone to say his name. Just as he is responsible for smashing the magic mirror that unleashed Death and his evil followers on the world, he also might be the only one who can stop the cult. But at what price?
I watched the 2016 film, Sinister Squad, last night. I have to admit that I had a pretty difficult time following the plot. Produced by the Asylum, Sinister Squad is a sequel to Avengers Grimm. Avengers Grimm was a mockbuster of The Avengers, in which all of the heroes were fairly tale characters. Sinister Squad is a mockbuster of Suicide Squad, in which a group of fairy tale villains are recruited to save the world. Avengers Grimm was a surprisingly fun movie but Sinister Squad gets bogged down by its own low budget, with nearly the entire film taking place in one location. It’s kind of hard to make an epic action film when you can’t afford more than one set.
That set is a warehouse, where the members of the Sinister Squad are imprisoned. It’s also where Alice is storing Death’s scythe. Death wants his scythe back so he sends his followers to retrieve it and it leads to a bit of a one-sided battle. Indeed, none of the members of the Sinister Squad seem to be that effective when it comes to defending the world and it’s hard not to feel that Alice should have made more of an effort to recruit some of Death’s followers. Probably the most impressive of Death’s acolytes is Bluebeard (Trae Ireland), who can throw knives in slow motion and steal the souls of those he kills. (He calls them his “wives” because he’s Bluebeard.) Still, as impressive a bad guy as Bluebeard might be, it’s hard not to wonder why he’s there because it’s not as if Bluebeard is a fairy tale character. It seems like a waste to have Goldilocks face off against Bluebeard as opposed to three bears.
As I said, the plot of this one is not always easy to follow. If you haven’t seen Avengers Grimm, you’ll be totally lost. I have seen Avengers Grimm and I still wasn’t always sure what everyone in Sinister Squad was going on about. On the plus side, some of the costumes are nicely done. Bluebeard was properly intimidating. I sympathized with the Big Bad Wolf, who was apparently just misunderstood. I respected Alice and her refusal to surrender. For the most part, though, Sinister Squad was more underwhelming than sinister.
Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Sundays, I will be reviewing the made-for-television movies that used to be a primetime mainstay. Today’s film is 1984’s Invitation to Hell. It can be viewed on YouTube!
There’s one rule in life that should never be forgotten.
Any movie that opens with Susan Lucci casting a hex that causes a man’s head to explode is going to be worth watching.
That’s certainly the case with Invitation to Hell, a 1984 made-for-TV movie that casts Lucci as Jessica Jones, an insurance agent who lives and works in an upper class suburb in Southern California. Jessica not only sells insurance but she also runs the ultra-exclusive Steaming Springs Country Club! Anyone who is anyone in town is a member of Steaming Springs! Of course, joining Steaming Springs requires going through a strange ceremony in which you walk into a mist-filled room. Jessica says that the room is called “the Spring” and that it contains everything that someone would need to be happy. However, one need only consider that the film is called Invitation to Hell to guess that Jessica might not be completely honest.
Matt Winslow (Robert Urich) and his family have just moved into the suburbs. Matt’s an engineer whose job involves designing a state-of-the-art space suit. Matt is a little bit annoyed when Jessica starts pressuring him and his family to join the country club. He’s even more perturbed when his wife (Joanna Cassidy), upon returning from the mist-filled room, starts acting and dressing just like Jessica. Matt soon comes to suspect that something strange might be happening, especially after his own daughter attacks him! Fortunately, Matt’s spacesuit comes with a flame thrower, a laser, and a built-in computer that can determine whether or not someone is actually a human being. (Wearing the space helmet means viewing the world like you’re the Terminator.) Soon, it’s science vs. magic as Matt dons the suit and tries to rescue his family from country club living!
Invitation to Hell is totally ludicrous but also a lot of fun. Robert Urich is properly stolid as the hero while the film itself is, not surprisingly, stolen by Susan Lucci. Lucci is totally and wonderfully over-the-top as Jessica, playing the role with the same cheerfully unapologetic intensity that made her a daytime television star. This is a film that has a little bit for everyone — familiar television actors, flamethrowers, space suits, demonic possession, exploding cars, and even a little bit of social satire as the film suggests that living in the suburbs is a terror even without weird country clubs and chic spell casters.
Interestingly enough, this made-for-television film was directed by none other than Wes Craven! The same year that this film was broadcast, Craven directed a little film called A Nightmare on Elm Street. While Invitation to Hell might not be in the same league as that classic shocker, it’s still an enjoyably campy horror flick.
Tired of being used as a test subject by a mad scientist and feeling guilty about an accident that caused the death of two of her friends, telekinetic Felicia Fletcher has run away! After using her powers to escape from the pervy dude who gave her a ride, Felecia ends up in Shadyside. She not only get a job as a house sitter on Fear Street but she also enrolls in high school and gets a job at the Burger Basket…
Wait, what?
Now, the whole telekinetic thing is pretty cool and I cheered a little when she caused the pervy guy’s car to crash. I mean, if you’ve got the power to do that, why not? But who runs away from home just so they can enroll in high school and get a job working at a fast food restaurant? I mean, it just seems like there’s more that she could do, especially considering that she has super powers. Along with going to school and finding a low-paying job, Felecia also develops a crush on her classmate and co-worker, Nick. Unfortunately, Nick is dating Zan. Zan doesn’t appreciate the new girl trying to move in on her man. Felecia’s main concern, though, is making sure that no one discovers that she’s a runaway. SO WHY DID YOU ENROLL IN HIGH SCHOOL AND GET A JOB UNDER YOUR REAL NAME, FELECIA!?
Seriously, Felecia might have telekinesis but she obviously has no common sense.
Soo, Felecia is getting strange letters from someone who claims to know who she is. Someone also breaks into her house, a crime that Felecia can’t report without running the risk of being discovered. Felecia tries to control her powers while also discovering who is stalking her.
Even by the standards of R.L. Stine, the plot is fairly incoherent but the fact that Felecia has psychic powers (and, with the exception of Nick, pretty much zero friends) adds a new wrinkle to all of the usual Stine melodrama. Felecia has a lot to deal with, from avoiding the police to avoiding her crush’s girlfriend to avoiding the people searching for her to avoiding her Fear Street stalker. In fact, Felecia has so much to deal with that it’s impossible not to like and root for her. I might not have telekinesis but I could still relate to Felecia’s desire to just have one normal, relaxing day in her life. I liked that Felecia was trying to regain control of her life and there’s a pretty cool scene where The Burger Basket basically explodes. This was definitely one of the better Stine books that I’ve read this month.
Jill, Andrea, Diane, Max, and Nick want get out of taking a superhard Geography test. What can they possibly do, since apparently into not an option to study or to track down someone who has a copy of the test from last year?
If you said accidentally start a fire in the school library so that the test gets cancelled, congratulations! You could be the star of an R.L. Stine novel!
The day after the fire, school is still a bore. Our group of friends, who are all gymnasts for some reason, want to get out of class so that they can hang out with Gabe, the supercool new kid who has an odd fascination with burning things. What’s the best way to get out of school? How about blowing up the boy’s bathroom? Not only does that cause classes to get canceled but everyone now gets to hang out on Fear Island!
R.L. Stine’s 1991 book, The Fire Game, is all about people like to set fires. Admittedly, the book doesn’t really go into the reasons why these people are so obsessed with fire. For the most part, it’s just something that they do because they’re not imaginative to come up with any other way to skip school. (Has no one ever heard of faking not feeling well? When I was in high school, all I had to do was say the word “cramps” and the gym teacher would practically escort me off campus and tell me not to come back for a week. It’s not that difficult.) Anyway, eventually a house burns down on Fear Street and all the members of the Fire Club are like, “Wait! We didn’t do that!” It looks like someone is trying to frame the arsonists!
The main problem with this book is found in the last sentence of this paragraph. Yes, the Fire Club is, more or less, innocent of burning down that house and killing the homeless man who was living inside. But, they’re still a group of people who DELIBERATELY SET FIRES! It’s like, “Okay, it sucks you’re being framed for that one fire but how about all the ones you actually started?” Not a single lesson is learned and usually, I’m in favor of that but in this case, our heroes are actually doing something that could kill someone or something.
Still, even if there’s absolutely no one to really root for in this book, it’s hard not to be a little impressed by the fact that R.L. Stine felt that gymnastics and pyromania would be a natural combination. Though the majority of the book is Stine on autopilot, arsonist gymnasts is at least an interesting concept. Plus, Arsonist Gymnasts sounds like it would be a great band name.
What’s an Insomnia File? You know how some times you just can’t get any sleep and, at about three in the morning, you’ll find yourself watching whatever you can find on cable or Netflix? This feature is all about those insomnia-inspired discoveries!
If you were having trouble getting to sleep last night, you could have gotten on YouTube and watched 1995’s The Haunting of Helen Walker!
What’s it about? Read on but stop me if this sounds familiar.
In Victorian-era England, a somewhat neurotic young woman is hired to serve as the governess for two children who live in a foreboding estate. Once the governess arrives, she discovers that the children — especially little Miles — can be a handful. She also discovers that there was a governess hired before her, a governess who died under mysterious circumstances. At night, the new governess hears strange noises and soon, she becomes convinced that she’s seen the ghosts of both her predecessor and the old governess’s lover, Peter Quint. Everyone else may think that the new governess has allowed the isolation of the estate to get to her but she’s convinced that the ghosts have possessed the children! She becomes determined to save the children, even at the risk of their own lives….
If that sounds familiar, then you’ve either read Henry James’ Turn of the Screw or you’ve seen one of the several movies that were based on his novella. The Haunting of Helen Walker, which was made-for-television and initially broadcast in 1995, reimagines James’s unnamed governess as Helen Walker, an American woman played by Valerie Bertinelli. The Haunting of Helen Walker also differs from its source material in that it leaves little doubt about the fact that the ghosts are real and the children have been possessed. While the novella is deliberately unclear about whether the governess is correct or if she’s just hallucinating, The Haunting of Helen Walker has little use for such ambiguity.
Still, if you can accept the changes to the source material, The Haunting of Helen Walker is an entertaining and atmospheric ghost story. Director Tom McLoughlin doesn’t waste any time getting to the action and Christopher Guard makes for an appropriately brooding and dangerous Peter Quint. At first, it’s a bit jarring to hear Valerie Bertenelli’s American accent in what is essentially the epitome of a British ghost story but she gets better as the film progresses and she does an especially good job during the film’s dramatic climax. Finally, Diana Rigg does a great job playing the estate’s intimidating housekeeper, Mrs. Grose. She’s skeptical of Helen from the minute she arrives and the fact that Helen says she can see ghosts doesn’t do much to improve Mrs. Grose’s opinion.
In the end, this is an entertaining, if hardly definitive, take on Henry James’s novella. Having been made for 90s television, it actually has to be rather restrained in its shocks but that actually works to the film’s advantage, forcing the movie to rely on atmosphere over jump scares. The Haunting of Helen Walker is currently on YouTube and it’s fine viewing for a rainy night.
Previous Insomnia Files:
Through the Shattered Lens 