Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Saturdays, I will be reviewing Welcome Back Kotter, which ran on ABC  from 1975 to 1979.  The entire show is currently streaming on Tubi!

This week, Gabe teaches the Sweathogs how to fight the man!

Episode 1.15 “The Sit-In”

(Dir by Bob LaHendro, originally aired on January 13th, 1976)

As this episode begins, Gabe is running late but he still takes the time to tell Julie about his Uncle Bernie.  Apparently, Uncle Bernie was always late because he was always fighting with his wife.  Aunt Helene always said Bernie was going to be late to his own funeral.  Bernie replied that he was going to be buried at sea.  I didn’t get it either but at least Gabe got to tell his joke.  That seems to be important to him.

You know what isn’t a joke?  Food fights at school!  Mr. Woodman shows up in Gabe’s classroom, wearing a raincoat and a hat because he says that he’s heard that the Sweathogs are going to start a food fight in the cafeteria.  Gabe argues that the Sweathogs would not start a food fight in the cafeteria without protecting themselves, just for the Sweathogs to all show up for class wearing costumes that range from a football helmet to a fireman’s uniform to a doctor’s mask to a garbage bag.  (Not surprisingly, Horshack is the one who went with the garbage bag.)

“They’re not people, Kotter, they’re not people!” Woodman announces.

“Why didn’t you tell me today was going to be dress-up day?” Gabe asks, “I could have spray-painted my suit and came as a subway train.”

It turns out that the Sweathogs are planning a food fight as a protest against the cafeteria serving liver for lunch.  Kotter encourages the Sweathogs to work through the system and put together a petition.  When he tells this to Woodman, Woodman replies, “What system, Kotter?  There’s only one system here!  You’re free to do as you’re told! …. We all have to eat this swill and if I die, I’m taking all of you with me.”

(Woodman, to my surprise, is quickly becoming my favorite character on this show.  John Sylvester White’s portrayal, with its suggestion that Woodman is slowly losing his mind, never fails to make me smile.)

Realizing that the petition isn’t going to do the job, Gabe encourages his students to stage a sit-in.  For some reason, they all sit down in the classroom instead of the cafeteria.  After several hours, Woodman steps into the classroom and discovers the sit-in.  Gabe tells Woodman that they’re committed.  “If you’re not committed, you should be,” Woodman says, before madly laughing.

Though the Sweathogs want to go home, Gabe demands that they stay in the room and protest.  (One gets the feeling that Gabe is once again forcing the Sweathogs to take part in his own midlife crisis.)  The Sweathogs agree to continue to the sit-in.

That night, Gabe and Epstein keep everyone amused by doing their imitations of Groucho and Chico Marx.

Unfortunately, it didn’t occur to anyone to bring food into the classroom and the Sweathogs, suffering from hunger pains, once again start to abandon the protest.  Gabe tells them that they can’t leave but the Sweathogs are starving!  Suddenly, Julie shows up with a picnic basket and announces that she has brought everyone “my famous tuna casserole.”  The Sweathogs decide to starve.  Gabe tells Julie that not even famine victims would eat her tuna casserole.  Ouch!  Honestly, if I was Julie, I would leave at that point and just let everyone starve but Julie announces that she used to organize sit-ins in college and she’s staying and she’s even brought pillows and blankets.

Gabe announces that it’s time for everyone to get some sleep for the night.  Barbarino tells Gabe that he always sleeps in the nude.  “Go ahead,” Gabe says and the audience goes crazy because seriously, young John Travolta was insanely hot.  Barbarino disappoints everyone by saying that it’s too cold for him to sleep in the nude.  Boooo!

Gabe turns out of the lights.  Horshack starts to cry because he doesn’t have his teddy.  “You can’t have your teddy,” Gabe replies.  “How about Mrs. Kotter?” Horshack asks.  “You can’t have my teddy either,” Gabe replies.  Meanwhile, Barbarino says his prayers and Epstein says, “Send my regards.”  This leads to the Sweathogs debating what God is like.  Epstein thinks he sounds like John Wayne.  Washington thinks that God has a jazz band.  Julie says that God is love and “that if God was here, he would love my tuna casserole.”

And you know what?  This is actually a surprisingly sweet scene but I still have no idea how doing a sleepover in a classroom, something that the Drama Club did on a nearly weekly basis when I was in high school, is going to get the liver out of the cafeteria.

The next morning, Woodman comes by the classroom and discovers that everyone spent the night.  Woodman says that it doesn’t make a difference because no one cares if the Sweathogs spent the night in the classroom but then a bunch of regular students show up and say they’re joining the sit-in.

“Down with liver!” everyone starts to chant.

Woodman announces that there will no longer be any liver in the cafeteria because “the real students don’t like it either.”  So, basically, the Sweathogs still don’t matter.  They got what they wanted but not because they wanted it.  That’s kind of sad really.

Back at the apartment, Gabe tells Julie a story about his Uncle Jack and how his wife fell out of an airplane.  Does it concern Julie that all of Gabe’s jokes are about husbands killing their wives?  I mean, I would be careful about bringing up the tuna casserole around him.

Anyway, this was actually a pretty likable episode and an example of what a talented cast can do with an otherwise middling story.  During the firsts season, at least, this show was very good about giving every member of the cast a chance to shine.

Next week, we have a two-part episode in which Vinnie Barbarino drops out of high school!