Late Night Retro Television Review: Check it Out! 3.12 “Howard Hemingway”

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Saturdays, I will be reviewing the Canadian sitcom, Check it Out, which ran in syndication from 1985 to 1988.  The entire show is currently streaming on Tubi and Peacock!

This week’s episode makes even less sense than usual.

Episode 3.12 “Howard Hemingway”

(Dir by Alan Erlich, originally aired on November 22nd, 1987)

Weird episode.

Howard Bannister notices how many of the store’s customers are also buying trashy romance paperbacks.  He also notices how much Marlene and Edna enjoy reading them.  Howard decides that he should write a book of his own and become a millionaire!

(Heh heh …. go tell any working writer about the idea of becoming a millionaire off of one book and see how they react.)

Howard struggles.  He sits in his office and tries to write a book about a safari.  Because this episode aired in the 80s, he uses a typewriter.  Because I’ve worked as an administrative assistant, I immediately noticed that Howard was a terrible typist.  Soon, the floor of his office is covered in crumpled papers.  He just can’t find the right hook for his story.  Edna points out that he’s never been on safari.  All Howard knows about is running a grocery store.

And so Passion Aisle is born!

Howard writes a book based on Cobb’s and the people that he works with.  Since he only appears to work with five other people, I’m a little bit surprised that the book appeared to be as long as it was.  Somehow, Howard is able to talk a publisher into publishing his book.  Howard doesn’t even have an agent so I’m curious how he pulled that off but anyway….

No one wants to buy the book!  Howard finally ends up giving copies away at the store.  Some of the customers read it and immediately figure out that the trampy cashier “Arlene” is based on Marlene.  The employees at Cobb’s decide that, since the book is based on them, they deserve some of the money that Howard is making off of it.  Howard agrees even though there’s absolutely no reason for Howard to have done so.  Howard wrote the thing.  The employees really didn’t do anything.  Still, they get a 50/50 split….

Seriously, I don’t want to overanalyze this but it really bothers me that Howard finally managed to accomplish something on his own and his employees, rather than accepting that, immediately demanded that they be rewarded for his hard work.  Just because you inspired someone to write a book or paint of picture or do anything else doesn’t mean that your entitled to financial compensation.  Not even Canada has gone that communist yet.  Howard should have stood his ground.

But, he didn’t.  Everyone got a little bit of money and I assume that Howard is never going to write another book.  That’s kind of sad.  Howard’s been looking for an escape from Cobb’s since the show began.  He finally got one and was immediately punished for his initiative.  Poor Howard!

The Rangers Win Their Third Series Of The Season!

Posted on by Dazzling Erin

I don’t want to jinx anything and the season is not even a month old but right now, my rangers are 7-2 and I’m feeling pretty good.  Yesterday, they beat the Rays 5-2 and today, they beat them 6-4.  I just hope the Rangers can keep winning like this for the entire season because there is a long way to go!

Here are the highlights of yesterday’s game against the Rays!

Roger Corman directed MACHINE GUN KELLY (1958), Charles Bronson’s first starring role!

Posted on by Bradley Crain

I’ve always appreciated the legendary Roger Corman, who was born on this day in 1926, because he gave Charles Bronson his first starring role in MACHINE GUN KELLY. I’ve heard Quentin Tarantino himself say that It’s the best movie that Corman ever directed. It was such an important movie for Bronson because it directly led to a HUGE break 10 years later when Alain Delon wanted him for his co-star in FAREWELL, FRIEND (1968). Delon wanted Bronson because he admired his performance as George Kelly.

Happy Birthday in heaven, Mr. Corman! Thanks for giving Charles Bronson, and so many greats, the break of a lifetime!

Love On The Shattered Lens: At First Sight (dir by Irwin Winkler)

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

1999’s At First Sight tells the story of Amy (Mira Sorvino) and her boyfriend, Virgil (Val Kilmer).

Virgil seems to be just about perfect.  He’s intelligent.  He’s sensitive.  He knows just what to say when Amy’s crying.  He’s a masseuse and who doesn’t want to come home to a nice massage?  He loves hockey.  He’s a great guy to go for a walk with and he’s someone who always has his own individual way of interpreting the world.  However, Virgil is blind.  He’s been blind since he was three years old.  When Amy comes across an article about a doctor named Charles Aaron (Bruce Davison), who has developed an operation that could restore Virgil’s sight, Amy pushes Virgil to get operation.  In fact, Amy pushes him maybe just a bit too much.  Virgil regains his sight but struggles to adjust to being able to see the world around him.

For instance, he has no idea how to read Amy’s facial expressions.  He struggles with his depth perception and, at one point, even walks into a glass door.  He’s seeing the world for the first time and a lot of the things that amaze him are things that Amy takes for granted.  Virgil getting back his sight totally changes the dynamic of his relationship with Amy and soon, despite their best efforts, the two of them find themselves drifting apart.  Amy is even tempted by her ex (Steven Weber).  Meanwhile, Dr. Aaron suggests that Virgil talk to a therapist who can help him adjust to his new life.  Seize every experience, Phil Webster (Nathan Lane) suggests.  Really?  That’s the great advice?  I could have come up with that!

However, Virgil has a secret that he has been keeping from Amy.  There were no guarantees when it came to the operation and now, Virgil’s sight is starting to grow dim.  He’s just gained the ability to see the world but now, he’s about to lose it again.  Will he make it to one final hockey game before he loses his eyesight?  Will he finally discover what “fluffy” thing he was looking at before he went blind at the age of three?  And will Amy ever realize that it was kind of wrong for her to push him into getting an experimental operation that he didn’t even want?

At First Sight has its flaws, as you may have guessed.  The plot is often predictable.  The message of “seizing the day” and “enjoying every moment” has been delivered by countless other films.  (The movie seems to think we won’t notice the message is a cliche as long as it’s delivered by Nathan Lane.)  As directed by Irwin Winkler (who was better-known as a producer than as a director), the film moves at a slow pace and the two-hour plus running time feels excessive.  But it almost doesn’t matter when you’ve got stars as attractive and charismatic as Val Kilmer and Mira Sorvino.  Whatever other flaws the film may have, it doesn’t lack chemistry between the two leads and I actually found myself very much caring about these characters and their relationship.  When it comes to romance, good chemistry can make up for a lot!

It was hard not to feel a bit sad while watching the film’s stars act opposite each other.  After the film was released, Mira Sorvino was blacklisted by Harvey Weinstein and her career has yet to really recover.  With his health struggles and his own reputation for being eccentric, Val Kilmer struggled to get good roles during the latter half of his career.  It was nice, though, to see them in At First Sight, looking young and happy and hopeful.  That’s one wonderful thing about the movies.  They save the moment.

Gamera Review: Gamera vs Barugon (dir by Shigeo Tanaka)

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

1966’s Gamera vs Barugon opens six months after the end of Gamera, The Giant Monster.

Everyone’s favorite atomic turtle has been exiled into space, sent on a rocket to a distant planet and ordered to never attack Japan again.  However, when a meteorite collides with the rocket, Gamera is set free.  He promptly returns to Earth and attacks Japan again.  Seriously, Japan really can’t catch a break!  While it’s true that Gamera and Godzilla don’t exist in the same cinematic universe, it’s still hard not to wonder why Japan is the only country that ever seems to get attacked by the giant monsters.

(The obvious answer, of course, is that both Gamera and Godzilla, with their fiery breath and their relentless need to destroy everything in their path, are metaphors for the atomic bombs that were dropped on Hiroshima and Nagasaki.  Blame Truman.)

However, Gamera is not Japan’s only problem.  They’re also having to deal with Barugon, a monster who hatches out of an opal that a group of bumbling adventurers have recently retrieved from New Guinea.  Barugon is a lizard, one that grows from being tiny to gigantic in just a manner of days.  Barugon creates rainbows that not only serve as a shield for him but which also destroy just about anything that they touch.  Gamera, though perhaps not intentionally, becomes the champion of the same humans that previously tired to exile him into space.

There’s an interesting subtext to Gamera vs Barugon.  The opal was originally discovered by a soldier during World War II.  He hid the opal in New Guinea, not realizing that it was actually an egg.  Years later, he’s the one who hires the men who retrieve the opal.  In its way, the opal is a symbol of the past, of what Japan was before the American occupation and what Japan could have been if it had been victorious in the war.  Of course, bringing the opal to Japan and allowing it to open leads to the deaths of hundreds of innocent people and it nearly destroys the country.  If the opal had remained where it had been abandoned and if the old soldier had been willing to move on from the past, Barugon would never have been born.  Then again, if Barugon hadn’t been born then Gamera wouldn’t have had a chance to redeem himself in the eyes of the public.  For every bad thing (like Barugon) that happens, there’s also a good thing to consider.  Then again, maybe I’m reading too much into it.

Quickly paced and featuring enough giant monster action to hold the interest of even the most jaded of viewers, Gamera vs Barugon is a lot of fun.  With its colorful visuals, cute but angry monsters, and random rainbows, it’s definitely a work of pop art.  Seriously, how can you not love a giant turtle that spins around and shoots fire?  And how can you not love a lizard like Barugon, with his rainbow destruction and his cheerful facial expressions?  One thing I enjoy about the Gamera films is that Gamera always seems to be doing his best.  He’s determined to win!  Sometimes, Godzilla can seem like he’s just phoning it in.  But Gamera always gives 110%!  Yay, Gamera!

Previous Gamera Reviews:

  1. Gamera, The Giant Monster (1965)
  2. Gamera vs. Jiger (1970)

AMV Of The Day: Don’t Stop Believing (Various)

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

An AMV set to Journey?  How can I not share it?

Song: Don’t Stop Believing by Journey

Anime: -Dance in the Vampire Bund, -Spice and Wolf ,-Fullmetal Alchemist Brotherhood, -Durarara, -Toradora, -Attack on Titan, -Soul Eater ,-A Certain Scientific Railgun S, -Vampire Knight, -Higurashi When They Cry, -Deadman Wonderland, -Bleach, -Death Note, -Shuffle, -Maid Sama, -Free!, -B Gata H Kei, -Black Butler, -Nana, -Rosario Vampire -,demon king daimao, -yoko you’re my star

Creator: Katherine Dickinson (KatiePandas)

Past AMVs of the Day

Choke Canyon (1986, directed by Chuck Bail)

Posted on by Jedadiah Leland

Evil businessman John Pilgrim (Nicholas Pryor) and his assistant Brooke Alistair (Lance Henriksen) want to turn Utah’s Choke Canyon into a dumping ground for toxic waste.  The only problem is that Dr. David Lowell (Stephen Collins), a cowboy scientist, has signed a 99-year lease and is using the canyon as a place to conduct experiments that are designed to turn the soundwaves from Halley’s Comet into an alternative energy source.  Pilgrim sends pilot Oliver Parkside (Bo Svenson) to get Lowell out of the canyon by any means necessary.  However, Pilgrim’s rebellious daughter, Vanessa (Janet Julian), has also gone to the canyon because she finds Dr. Lowell to be intriguing.  Lowell’s reaction is to kidnap Vanessa and hold her hostage but, of course, they fall in love while trying to fly a giant ball of toxic waste out of the canyon.

Directed by the legendary stuntman Charles Bail, Choke Canyon is at its best when it focuses on Parkisde using his plane to chase Lowell’s helicopter.  Some of the aerial sequences are really exciting, even if they don’t make much sense.  (Surely, someone as powerful and rich as John Pilgrim could have afforded to send more than three guys and a cropduster to take care of Lowell.)  Stephen Collins, years before his career would collapse after he admitted to inappropriately touching three minor-aged girls, is as personable and bland here as he was in the first Star Trek movie.  The idea of a cowboy scientist is interesting but Collins really didn’t have the screen presence to pull it off.  It doesn’t help that Collins was having to act opposite a certifiable badass like Bo Svenson.  This is one of the rare movies where I wanted the bad guys to win because they were just so much cooler than the hero.

Some of the stunts are impressive, as they should be with Chuck Bail behind the camera.  Stephen Collins is boring and Janet Julian feels miscast.  (She would give a much better performance as Christopher Walken’s lawyer and girlfriend in King of New York.)  I don’t understand how a power source based on Halley’s Comet would work.  It might have worked for a few months in 1986 but what are they going to for energy until 2061 rolls around?

Retro Television Review: Welcome Back, Kotter 4.22 “I’m Okay, But You’re Not”

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Saturdays, I will be reviewing Welcome Back Kotter, which ran on ABC  from 1975 to 1979.  The entire show can be purchased on Prime.

We’re nearly done.

Episode 4.22 “I’m Okay, But You’re Not”

(Dir by Norman Abbott, originally aired on June 1st, 1979)

The next-to-last episode of Welcome Back, Kotter centers on Beau, the Southern transfer who was introduced as a replacement for Barbarino.  This is only the second episode to focus on Beau and it aired right as the show was about to end.  Judging from some of the comments made in the episode and the fact that no mentions that Horshack is now married, I’m going to guess that this episode was probably originally meant to air earlier in the season.

Anyway, the Sweathogs read their student evaluations when Julie, for some reason, leaves Arnold in charge of the office while she goes to another classroom to get a skirt that’s been hemmed for her by the Home Economics teacher.  Why Julie couldn’t have just gotten the skirt after the students had left for the day isn’t really clear.  The Sweathogs are not happy to discover that Woodman hates all of them except for Beau.  Beau, looking to prove that he’s not Woodman’s favorite, steals Woodman’s pants (Woodman is asleep at his desk) and runs them up a flagpole.  He also rings the fire alarm.  Woodman is forced to put on Julie’s skirt before leaving his office.

(What about Gabe?  Gabe is nowhere to be seen.  Gabe became assistant principal and then stopped hanging out at the school.)

Beau confesses that he was behind the prank.  Woodman says that it’s honorable for Beau to take the blame but he knows that Epstein, Washington, and Horshack are to blame.  Woodman gives the three “bad” Sweathogs detention.  There’s something inherently weird about watching three actors in their 30s complain about getting detention.  So, Beau again says that he was solely responsible and then insults Woodman until Woodman snaps, gives Beau three weeks detention, and promises that he’ll be keeping on eye on everything Beau does.

Good luck with that, Woodman.  The show’s nearly over!

Poor Stephen Shortridge.  He wasn’t a bad actor but the character of Beau was never that clearly defined and, even worse, Shortridge was brought in to replace Travolta’s Barbarino.  The show never figured out what to do with Beau and he ended up as something of a footnote in the show’s history.

This episode was just dumb.  It’s the type of episode that the show did well when it first started, back when the Sweathogs were still plausible as being high school students and when Travolta and Gabe Kaplan were still willing to appear on the show.  But, by the time the fourth season rolled around, the cast was too old to be playing high school pranks and neither Barbarino nor Gabe were around anymore.

Next week, the show finally ends!