6 Trailers For a Mistaken Weekend

Posted on May 22, 2016 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Here’s a little story.

So yesterday, I told my sister that I was going to go ahead and hop in my car and make the 45-minute drive to our uncle’s place. She said, “Uhmmm….okay, Lisa Marie,” and, at the time, I was confused as to why she sounded confused. After all, we go out to our uncle’s place every Memorial Day weekend. He has a big house. He has a big back yard and a pool that’s great for laying out and working on your tan. Celebrating Memorial Day weekend at our uncle’s is a Bowman-Marchi Family tradition!

And so, I drove out there. And when I arrived at the house, I thought it was weird that none of my cousins had arrived yet. Both my aunt and my uncle seemed surprised to see me but I figured they were just wondering where my cousins were as well. I mentioned to them that I was early and then, instead of sticking around to have a conversation, I ducked into the guest room and I changed into my favorite black bikini and then I went outside and I lay out by the pool.

And I have to admit that I was a little bit frustrated. Unlike all of my sisters and most of my cousins, I am pretty much incapable of getting a decent tan and it didn’t help that the sky was full of clouds. But I was even more frustrated by the fact that nobody else had shown up yet. Didn’t they know it was Memorial Day weekend?

Except, of course, it wasn’t Memorial Day weekend. Memorial Day weekend is next week and somehow, I managed to get my dates confused. Both my uncle and my aunt were very understanding about my mistake and they were kind enough to both feed me and invite me to stay the weekend. I thanked them for their kindness, told them that I couldn’t wait to come back next weekend, and then — with my face almost as red as my hair — I went home.

Shut up, Jimmy Brooks! I’m almost done and my name’s not Ellie! Anyway, my point is that I was planning on making the latest edition of Lisa Marie’s Favorite Grindhouse and Exploitation Film Trailers a Memorial Day edition. And, next weekend, it will be. However, for this weekend, enjoy these 6 randomly and hastily selected replacement trailers, none of which have much to do with each other…

Tender Flesh (1974)

Empire of the Ants (1977)

Prophecy (1979)

Final Exam (1981)

Aenigma (1987)

Trauma (1993)

What do you think, Manny Santos?

Uhmmm, you’re welcome…

Everyone have a great Memorial Day weekend!

Here’s the 2nd Trailer for Star Trek Beyond!

Posted on May 20, 2016 by Lisa Marie Bowman

I honestly don’t know much about Star Trek but I have seen both Fast Five and Fast & Furious 6 and, if I didn’t already know that Justin Lin was the director of the latest Star Trek film, I could have guessed from watching the 2nd trailer for Stark Trek Beyond.

(I’m also guessing that Star Trek Beyond is in no way related to Lucio Fulci’s The Beyond, which is a shame really.)

Seriously, judging from this trailer, Star Trek Beyond looks exciting and that should make for a nice change from the last Star Trek film. It also appears that the Enterprise gets destroyed during Star Trek Beyond so I guess this must be the last movie….

(I’m totally kidding, calm down.)

One final note: somebody needs to make a movie starring Simon Pegg and Karl Urban as two cops who may break all the rules but who … GET RESULTS!

Anyway, until that happens, we can watch Simon and Karl in the trailer for Star Trek Beyond!

Here’s The Second Trailer for The Purge: Election Year!

Posted on May 20, 2016 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Here’s the 2nd trailer for The Purge: Election Year!

Will this movie be more like the first Purge film or the second Purge film? It’s an important question because the first Purge had an intriguing premise but only so-so execution. Whereas the second Purge film should have been nominated for all sorts of Oscars…

One good sign: Frank Grillo is back! Then again, it’s not like they could have brought anyone back from the first Purge film because the first Purge film ended with almost everyone dead. Between the first Purge and Sinister, Ethan Hawke briefly managed to corner the market on unstable father figures who end up dead by the end of the movie.

(Whoops, was that a spoiler or was that two spoilers? Sorry, I hope you can still love me…)

Anyway, here’s the trailer for The Purge: Election Year! Feel free to watch it and leave your own comments comparing the Purge to either the Donald Trump campaign or the Hillary Clinton campaign.

(By the way, since this is an election year, I’m planning on doing a twitter poll in October. I’m going to ask who my 8,000 plus followers think I should vote for. I will then vote the exact opposite because the world needs a red-headed contrarian.)

(On another note, someone on YouTube mentioned that “It must be a bitch to clean up all the graffiti every year,” and I think he’s right! I would not want that job!)

(Also, if there was a real-life annual Purge, I would not murder anyone but I probably would do a little shoplifting. But that’s just me. You spend your purge the way that you want to…)

Scenes That I Love: The Classroom Scene From Dario Argento’s Inferno

Posted on May 20, 2016 by Lisa Marie Bowman

So, as I mentioned earlier, I was in the mood for some late night horror and I decided to rewatch Dario Argento’s Three Mothers trilogy. I started watching Suspiria at midnight and, after that, I moved on to Argento’s 1980 follow-up, Inferno.

Having just finished watching Inferno, I now realize that it’s almost time for me to start getting ready for my day, which means that I may have to hold off on watching the third film in the trilogy, The Mother of Tears. That’s really quite frustrating because I think I may be the only person in the world who thinks that Mother of Tears is actually a good film.

Oh well! Such is life, right?

But before I hop in the shower and get dressed and all that good stuff, I did want to share a scene that I love from Inferno.

Of course, the most famous scene from Inferno is the scene that opens the film, Irene Miracle’s underwater swim. In fact, it’s such a famous scene that I have already shared it.

So, instead, I’ll share a scene that comes shortly after Irene’s famous swim. In the scene below, Irene’s brother, a music student who is played by a somewhat forgettable actor named Leigh McCloskey (reportedly, Argento wanted to cast a young James Woods in the role and he would have been awesome, too), is sitting in class and attempting to read a letter from his troubled sister.

And that’s when he finds himself being subtly menaced by the Mother of Tears.

The Mother of Tears is played by the beautiful Ania Pieroni, who lovers of Italian horror will immediately recognize as both the mysterious housekeeper in Lucio Fulci’s House By The Cemetery and the doomed shoplifter from Argento’s Tenebrae.

To me, this scene is Argento at his best. Not much happens in the scene. McCloskey attempts to read a letter and finds himself unnerved by Pieroni’s intense stare. And yet, it’s a scene that’s full of menace and atmosphere. It’s a scene that leaves the viewer with no doubt about the power of the Three Mothers.

Watch the scene below. And then, if you haven’t, be sure to watch Inferno because it’s a wonderful and underrated horror film, one that I would argue is even better than Suspiria. And, while you’re watching the scene and considering the wonders of Italian horror cinema, I’ll be busy getting ready for my Friday!

(Unless, of course, you’re reading this on a day other than today and at a time other than 4:35 am.)

Enjoy!

Scenes I Love: “Names that Start With S” from Suspiria

Posted on May 19, 2016 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Hi there! I’m in the mood for some late night horror so I’m currently watching Dario Argento’s Three Mothers Trilogy! I just finished Suspiria and, before I started Inferno, I figured I would devote a hundred or so words to sharing one of my favorite scenes from Suspiria.

As you probably guessed from the title of this post, that scene is the famous “Names that start with S” scene. This is the scene in which dance student Suzy Banyon’s new roommate explains that names that start with S are often the names of snakes! Suzy’s new BFF, Sarah, disagrees.

When I first saw Suspiria, this was a scene to which I, as a dance student, could immediately relate. As odd as the dialogue may have sounded and as silly as the two students may have appeared to be, it actually felt very authentic. By nature, dancers are competitive and we are dramatic. If anyone is going to accuse you of having the name of a snake, it’s probably going to be dancer.

Admittedly, no one ever told me that I had the name of the snake. But there was the girl who told me that I was “soooooo pretty,” or at least I would be pretty if I got the nose job that I obviously required if I ever had any hope of being happy or successful. “But,” she added as she turned away from me, “I guess you’d have to figure out how you could possibly pay for it.” Of course, she was also quick to explain that she was only telling me the truth and that she had the best of intentions. I had about the same reaction to her advise as Sarah has to be calling a snake.

(Sarah stuck out her tongue. I may have said something about her boyfriend not having any issue with the size of my nose when he was hitting on me the night before. But basically, it was pretty much the same reaction…)

This scene made such an impression on me that, in the months after I first saw Suspiria, I would often randomly launch into the name of snakes monologue. Unfortunately, I had failed to take into account that I was literally the only student at my high school who would actually take the time to watch an Italian horror film from the 1970s. As such, no one knew what I was talking about and I lost a few friends named Susan and Sarah as a result.

Oh well!

Anyway, you can watch the scene below! Pay special attention to the way Jessica Harper reacts to being caught in the middle of the conversation. Dario Argento will probably never be known as a great director of actors but Jessica Harper is great in Suspiria!

Here’s the 2nd Trailer for Ghostbusters! Wake me when it’s over … actually, it’s not that bad…

Posted on May 18, 2016 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Here’s the 2nd trailer for Ghostbusters, which is a marked improvement on the first trailer. The jokes still feel weak but the ghosts are certainly effective!

I guess I should say more about this remake and the angry men who are upset about it and the pressure that I’m feeling, as a woman who loves movies, to give this film a chance but … bleh. I’m already bored with writing about the Ghostbusters remake.

Here’s the thing:

Just because many of the remake’s critics are a bunch of misogynists, that doesn’t mean that the first trailer looked particularly good.

Just because the first trailer didn’t look particularly good, that doesn’t mean that the misogynists are any less idiotic, disgusting, tedious, or annoying.

I’ll see the film when it’s released in July. If it’s good, I’ll give it a good review. If it’s bad, I’ll give it a bad review. And if I have anything else that I’d rather do that weekend, I’ll probably desperately beg someone else here at the Shattered Lens to watch and review the film so that I don’t have to.

And no matter what happens, I’ll end the night dancing.

But until then, here’s the 2nd trailer for Ghostbusters, which is better than the first (though you still have to wonder why the only black woman in the film couldn’t be a scientist as well)…

The Big Friendly Giant Is All Over This Trailer For Steven Spielberg’s The BFG!

Posted on May 16, 2016 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Despite getting mixed reviews at Cannes, Steven Spielberg’s The BFG is still one of the most anticipated films of the summer. I have to admit that, for the longest time, I assumed that the title was an acronym for Big F*cking German but no, apparently BFG stands for Big Friendly Giant.

And the just released second trailer for the film features a good deal of the Big Friendly Giant! The Big Friendly Giant is played by Mark Rylance. Mark Rylance is a good actor but I still think Sylvester Stallone should have won that Oscar.

Anyway, here’s the trailer! I always want to be skeptical of Spielberg because he’s such a mainstream filmmaker and my natural tendency is always to embrace outsiders. But dammit, The BFG looks like it might, at the very least, be a very enjoyable and very big film.

—–

* It’s family film, hence the asterisk.

4 Shots From 4 Films: An American Hippie in Israel, Ciao! Manhattan, David Holzman’s Diary, Eggshells

Posted on May 16, 2016 by Lisa Marie Bowman

4 Shots From 4 Films is just what it says it is, 4 shots from 4 of our favorite films. As opposed to the reviews and recaps that we usually post, 4 Shots From 4 Films is all about letting the visuals do the talking.

Let’s hop in the cinematic time machine and take a trip to the distant past with these 4 shots from 4 independent films!

4 Shots From 4 Films

An American Hippie In Israel (1972, dir by Amos Sefer)

Ciao! Manhattan (1972, dir by John Palmer and David Weisman)

David Holzman’s Diary (1967, dir by Jim McBride)

Eggshells (1969, dir by Tobe Hooper)

Film Review: Money Monster (dir by Jodie Foster)

Posted on May 15, 2016 by Lisa Marie Bowman

In a perfect world, the new film Money Monster would feature a monster that was literally made out of money. Its name would be Monblar and it would shamble down Wall Street and breathe coins made of fire.

Or, if not featuring a literal Money Monster, the film would at least open with the angry spirit of Andrew Jackson springing out of a twenty and seeking vengeance over being replaced by Harriet Tubman. In order to defeat the bitter old president, it would be necessary to summon the spirits of both Tubman and currency hottie Alexander Hamilton. Seriously, that would be a great movie!

Unfortunately, Money Monster is just another boring recession thriller. I’ve lost track of how many bad movies have been released since 2008, all featuring saintly blue collar workers who are forced to resort to extreme measures as a result of losing all of their money due to corporate greed. While they seek revenge by either pulling off a tower heist or an assault on wall street, villainous CEOs sit in their offices, smoke cigars, and laugh at the evil of it all. In between the inevitable gunshots and the collapsing families and the evictions, there’s always time for a didactic speech or two. And don’t get me wrong. I’m not fan of Wall Street but I’m also not a fan of preachy movies.

George Clooney plays Lee Gates, who has a show called Money Monster where he tells people where they should invest their money. Lee is charming. Lee is glib. Lee’s show features backup dancers, clips from old movies, and a rap theme song that is just so 2002. At the start of the show, Lee even dances as Money Monster tries to convince us that Lee’s a hyperactive showman despite the fact that he’s being played one of the most laid back actors of all time. Lee is totally unaware and/or unconcerned about the people who have occasionally lost their life savings due to his advice.

One of those people is a deliveryman named Kyle Budwell (Jack O’Connell) and we know he’s a good, honest guy because his name is Kyle Budwell as opposed to Kyle Evilguy. Kyle follows Lee’s advice to invest his family’s savings in IBIS Global Capital. (At first, I thought that the company was called ISIS Global Capital and I was like, “Hey, you betray your country, you pay the consequences…”) One week later, the IBIS stock crashes, Kyle is suddenly dead broke, The Big Short only manages to win one Oscar, and Hillary Clinton defeats Bernie Sanders in the New York primary. What other choice does Kyle have other than to go on Lee’s show, force Lee to wear a bomb vest, and demand answers!

Yawn.

There’s not a single surprising moment in Money Monster. I was going to say that you immediately know that IBIS’s CEO is evil because he’s played by Dominic West but actually, you know he’s evil because he’s a CEO and he’s appearing in a movie called Money Monster. Meanwhile, you know that Kyle isn’t really a bad guy because he looks like likable, clean-cut, and handsome Jack O’Connell. If Money Monster had any guts, it would have cast some fat 60 year-old slob with bad teeth in the role of Kyle Budwell. Money Monster ends with a twist that you’ll guess within the first few minutes of film. It’s an annoying twist, if just because it seems to assume that the audiences can’t handle moral ambiguity.

(Then again, there’s really no reason to assume that audiences can handle moral ambiguity so maybe Money Monster has a point…)

I suppose I should mention that Julia Roberts is also in the movie but there’s really no reason for her to be there. She plays Lee’s producer, Patty, and there’s nothing about the role that demands it be played by a star. There is a subplot about how, up until the Kyle takes Lee hostage, Patty had been planning on quitting her job but … well, who cares? Whenever Patty and Lee talked, I found myself cringing and thinking, “Do we really have to sit through this conversation?”

(In all fairness to Money Monster, that’s actually my reaction to most conversations…)

Money Monster was directed by Jodie Foster. It’s funny how we always assume that just because someone is a good actor that they’ll also be a good director. For instance, Angelina Jolie has directed three mediocre films and yet, with the announcement of each new Jolie-directed movie, we still continue to assume that she’s eventually going to win an Oscar for her work behind the camera. (Remember when Unbroken and By The Sea were being touted as guaranteed Oscar nominees?) George Clooney has directed five films and none of them are really that good. (Confessions of a Dangerous Mind only works because of Sam Rockwell’s performance. Goodnight and Good Luck is overrated. Leatherheads is boring. The Ides of March is tedious and The Monuments Men is one of the worst movies that I’ve ever seen.) Money Monster is Foster’s fourth film as a director and it’s almost as much of a tonal mess as The Beaver. Then again, The Beaver was at least weird. Money Monster was just boring. Foster is an incredibly compelling actress and an incredibly blah director.

That said, you would think that Foster would at least be able to get good performances out of the cast. As good as they often are, both George Clooney and Julia Roberts have actorly tics that they tend to fall back on whenever they’re working in the absence of a strong directorial vision and let’s just say that this is a very tic-filled film. Meanwhile, poor Jack O’Connell is running the risk of turning into Taylor Kitsch.

Amazingly enough, Money Monster was this week’s “big” release. Personally, I would recommend seeing Captain America: Civil War for a second or third time. Now that was a good movie!