Tag Archives: review

Retro Television Review: Fantasy Island 5.4 “The Last Cowboy/The Lady and the Monster”

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Tuesdays, I will be reviewing the original Fantasy Island, which ran on ABC from 1977 to 1984.  Almost the entire show is currently streaming on Daily Motion, YouTube, Plex, and a host of other sites.

It’s time for another trip to the Island!

Episode 5.4 “The Last Cowboy/The Lady and the Monster”

(Dir by Don Chaffey, originally aired on October 31st, 1981)

For the second week in a row, Tattoo is notably absent in this episode.  He is seen in the stock footage that opens each episode of Fantasy Island.  Shortly afterwards, his pre-recorded voice is briefly heard when Mr. Roarke explains to Julie that Tattoo has been turned invisible so that he can help with the fantasy of another guest who is also invisible.  Seriously, that’s the excuse that the show goes with.  Tattoo is “there” but he can’t be seen.  I can only imagine what was going on behind-the-scenes with Herve Villechaize.  It’s easy to assume that Villechaize was holding out for more money but, to be honest, it’s almost too easy to assume that.  It’s also possible that Villechaize may have just asked for some time off to pursue his career as a singer.

As for the fantasies, the better of the two featured Lynda Day George as scientist Carla Frankenstein, who comes to the island because she wants to clear her ancestor’s reputation for being mad.  Fortunately, the castle of Baron Frankenstein just happens to be on the Island!  In the castle, Carla finds evidence that, rather than trying to bring the dead back to life, the Baron was instead working on ways to extend the average lifespan.  She also discovers that the Baron’s monster (played by veteran character actor William Smith) is still living in the castle!

The Monster is a dignified old soul who has been mistreated every time that he’s left the Castle.  Carla befriends him but again, the Monster is forced to confront the pettiness of the outside world when a corporate spy (Ken Swofford) tries to take both Carla and Julie hostage.  After Carla and Julia are rescued, the Monster retreats to the Castle but Carla promises that she will not only return to see him but that she will also continue her ancestor’s research.  In fact, her company is going to build a lab on the Island and presumably employ the one or two Islanders who aren’t already employed by Mr. Roarke.

This was a Halloween episode so a Frankenstein fantasy feels appropriate.  William Smith played the role of the Monster with a wounded dignity that was actually quite touching.  His lonely existence was quite sad and I was actually glad when Roarke suggested that he and Julie would, from now on, be joining the Monster for dinner.

As for the other fantasy, Joe Campbell (Stuart Whitman) is yet another city slicker who wants to be a cowboy.  Joe thinks that Roarke is going to send him to the old west, as he has done for so many other people with the exact same fantasy.  Instead, Roarke gets all technical and says that Joe’s specific fantasy was to be a cowboy and not to travel to the old west.  Joe finds himself working as a hired hand on a modern-day ranch.  Once Joe stops whining (and it takes a while), he falls in love with widow Margaret Blair (Diane Baker), becomes a surrogate father to Jimmy Blair (Jimmy Baio), and he chasess off an evil biker (Robert Tessier).  In the end, Joe asks for permission to remain at the ranch and Fantasy Island.  Roarke agrees, probably so Joe can potentially replace Julie if she ever asks for a raise like Tattoo did.

This fantasy felt a bit too familiar.  It’s always weird how Roarke will arbitrarily decide to be strict with some guests while letting others do whatever they want.

Anyway, here’s hoping Tattoo returns next week!

Late Night Retro Television Review: CHiPs 2.7 “High Flyer”

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Mondays, I will be reviewing CHiPs, which ran on NBC from 1977 to 1983.  The entire show is currently streaming on Freevee!

This week, it’s helicopter time!

Episode 2.7 “High Flyer”

(Dir by Gordon Hessler, originally aired on November 4th, 1978)

Ponch in the air?

Not if Ponch has anything to say about it!  All of the members of the Highway Patrol are apparently required to spend one day on helicopter patrol but Ponch is scared of heights.  First, he pretends to have a cold.  Then, he pretends to have an earache, just to discover that the helicopter has been grounded due to bad weather.  Finally, the day comes when Ponch has no more excuses and the weather is clear.  Ponch goes up in the air but, fortunately, being in the helicopter allows Ponch to spot the van that’s being driven by a bunch of car thieves that he and Baker have spent the entire episode chasing.  To give credit where credit is due, the scene where the helicopter chases a thief in a stolen car is genuinely well-shot and exciting to watch.  Fortunately, the thief managed to drive some place where no one else was around so the helicopter could then fly way too close to the ground and do a whole bunch of ludicrously dangerous stunts.  I’m kind of surprised no one died to be honest.

While Ponch dealt with his fear of flying, Baker dealt with Kim (Cynthia Bain), the teenage daughter of his neighbor, Carol (Mary Louise Weller).  After having a fight with her mother, Kim decided to just move into Baker’s apartment.  Realizing that Kim had a bit of a crush, Ponch and Baker recruited Sindy Cahill — the only female member of the Highway Patrol who has spent the entire season demanding to be taken seriously — to pretend to be Baker’s girlfriend.  Heart-broken, Kim returned home.  That was a really terrible ending for what, until that point, had actually been a well-acted look at teen angst and first crushes.  Weller, Bain, and Larry Wilcox were all giving sensitive performances so it’s a bit unfortunate that it was all just a set-up for another “Let’s-Demean-Cahill” moment.

So, this episode was not so great when it came to the human drama but it was redeemed by the helicopter action.  When in doubt, toss in a helicopter.

Retro Television Review: Miami Vice 2.17 “Florence Italy”

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Mondays, I will be reviewing Miami Vice, which ran on NBC from 1984 to 1989.  The entire show can be purchased on Prime!

This week, the Grand Prix comes to Miami!

Episode 2.17 “Florence Italy”

(Dir by John Nicolella, originally aired on February 14th, 1986)

An impromptu street race with a white Porsche leads to Crockett and Tubbs discovering the body of a young prostitute who was known as Florence Italy (Marilyn Romero).  Their chief suspect is the owner of the Porsche, a  racecar driver named Danny Tepper (Danny Sullivan).  However, while Tubbs is convinced that Danny is guilty, Crockett is a bit less convinced.  It soon becomes apparent that the murderer is either Danny or his father Frank (Stephen Joyce), a veteran racer who is scheduled to compete against his son in the up-and-coming Miami Grand Prix.

This was a bit of a throw-away episode.  It was shot during the actual Grand Prix and, as a result, the emphasis is less on the mystery and more on the cars and the racing and cheering people in the stands.  The majority of the racers (including Danny and Frank) are played by actual racers.  Indeed, if not for the brutal murder that starts things off and a sensitively-handled scene where Sonny tries to talk to a racing groupie who has been the victim of abuse, this episode could pass for a infomercial about everything that’s fun about Miami.  As it is, the mystery doesn’t amount to much.  There’s only two suspects and Tubbs is so convinced that Danny is guilty that it’s obvious that the twist is going to be that he isn’t.  That only leaves Frank.

On the plus side, the direction was stylish and neon-filled and the tragic Charles Rocket was entertaining in a small role as a sleazy race sponsor.  (I had to laugh when Crockett decided that the best way to solve the murder would be to go undercover of Sonny Burnett, racing sponsor.)  This episode did a good job of making Miami look like the ultimate playground, where even the prostitutes get to wear cute outfits and where Crockett might let a drug dealer go if he’s willingly eat his marijuana while Crockett and Tubbs watch.  Tubbs is full of righteous fury in this episode but Crockett just goes with the flow.

This was a fairly nonessential episode but …. hey, I like fast cars.

Lisa Marie’s Week In Television: 6/16/24 — 6/22/24

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

I started out this week thinking that I was going to caught up with everything that I needed to watch and that I would be able to do a full set of Retro Television Reviews.  Unfortunately, my Dad is currently having some health issues and, needless to say, most of my week ended up being consumed with that.  Hopefully, next week will be better!  Don’t worry — the site will be back to normal soon!  The Power of Twonky compels us….

I ended up watching a lot of Degrassi which, as I’ve made clear, is my go-to comfort programming and I also watched perhaps a bit too much Dr. Phil.  I watched both shows via Pluto TV and they largely served as background noise while I spent this week stressing out.  The unfortunate thing about Dr. Phil on Pluto is that the episodes are somewhat randomly selected so it wasn’t uncommon for a “part one” to not be followed by “part two” or for “part two” to air without “part one.”  I’m a completist so stuff like that drives me crazy.

I watched and reviewed episodes of CHiPs, Fantasy Island, Baywatch Nights, The Love Boat, and Monsters.  I also watched an episode of Malibu, CA but it was so bad that I didn’t have the strength to review it.  I’ll do so next week.

Finally, via Paramount Plus, I watched an old episode of the first Star Trek series on Wednesday.  A creepy kid named Charlie came on the Enterprise and kept making people vanish.  It was kind of easy to laugh at some of the acting of the crew members but Robert Walker, Jr. did a really good job as the bratty and neurotic Charlie.

Late Night Retro Television Review: Monsters 2.10 “The Mandrake Root”

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Wednesdays, I will be reviewing Monsters, which aired in syndication from 1988 to 1991. The entire series is streaming on YouTube.

This week, on Monsters, a root leads to temptation!

Episode 2.10 “The Mandrake Root” 

(Dir by Brian Thomas Jones, originally aired on December 10th, 1989)

While cleaning out her recently deceased grandmother’s basement, Angela (Melba Moore) discovers a Mandrake root that is not only sprouting though the floor but which also appear to be “wearing” her grandmother’s ring.  She grabs the ring but pricks her finger as she does so, allowing her blood to drip down onto the root.

The next day, the root has been replaced by a shirtless, handsome man (Byron Minns), who promises Angela a world of sensual pleasure on the condition that she provide the blood that he needs to live.  At first, Angela resists but the Root is persistent and he certainly seems to care more about her than her inattentive (if well-meaning) husband (Frankie Faison).

This episode was full of atmosphere, it had an intriguing premise, and it featured good performances from Melba Moore and Frankie Faison.  (It’s always interesting to see Faison playing someone other than a cop or a military officer.)  Unfortunately, Byron Minns was fairly bland in the role of Angela’s tempter.  He was handsome but he didn’t have the screen presence necessary to believable as a centuries-old tempter.  As a result, this episode is good without quite being the classic that it could have been.

Retro Television Review: The Love Boat 4.18 “Aquaphobiac/Humpty Dumpty/The Starmaker”

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Wednesdays, I will be reviewing the original Love Boat, which aired on ABC from 1977 to 1986!  The series can be streamed on Paramount Plus!

This week …. it’s one of the best episodes of The Love Boat ever!

Episode 4.18 “Aquaphobiac/Humpty Dumpty/The Starmaker”

(Dir by Roger Duchowny, originally aired on February 7th, 1981)

David Hasselhoff boards The Love Boat, for the second time!

This time around, the Hoff is playing Brian Kiley.  Brian and Julie went to college together.  Brian was the star quarterback and, as he explains it, he and Julie were a pretty serious couple at the time.  But, in the end, Brian ended up marrying Julie’s roommate and his own playing days came to a premature end when he broke his arm.  Now, he’s on the Love Boat and he wants to not only get back together with Julie but he also wants to make a comeback in the NFL!

Julie is tempted.  How couldn’t she be tempted by the Hoff?  But watching Brian talk about his glory days on the football field, she realizes that he’s living in the past and, to an extent, so is she.  Brian is, at first, upset by Julie’s feelings but then he realizes that she’s right.  He makes peace with his years as a famous quarterback and he leaves the boat not as Julie’s lover but as her good friend….

MY GOD, JULIE — IT’S THE HOFF IN HIS GLORY DAYS!  WHO CARES IF HE TALKS ABOUT FOOTBALL!?  CHASE AFTER HIM!

The Pointer Sisters also board the ship, this time as employees of the cruise.  Isaac want to impress a talent agent (Jeff Cooper) so he recruits the sisters to serve as his backing vocalists.  After seeing them perform, the talent agent is impressed but only by the sisters.  They get a recording contract while Isaac …. well, Isaac goes back to pouring drinks.  POOR ISAAC!  But give credit to Ted Lange, who brought a lot of sincere feeling to what could have been a throwaway storyline.

Finally, Glenn Dobson (Louis Nye) and his fiancée, Vanessa (Audra Lindley), board the boat so that they can get to know each other before the wedding.  Glenn has severe aquaphobia and cannot bring himself to take off his inflatable life jacket.  Vanessa tries to help him conquer his fear but nothing helps.  Glenn fears all the other passengers are laughing at him.  So, the crew and the passengers all put on their own life jackets to show Glenn that he has nothing to be ashamed of.

“Tonight,” Stubing announces, “we are truly a boat of love.”

Awwwwww!  Seriously, who would have guessed that The Love Boat would make me cry?  This was such a sweet story and both Louis Nye and Audra Lindley really seemed to be invested in their characters.  When Glenn finally removed his life vest and took a few stumbling steps into the pool, I wanted to cheer.

What a great cruise this turned out to be!