Retro Television Reviews: City Guys 2.11 “A Nobel Profession” and 2.12 “Party of Three”


Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Thursdays, I will be reviewing City Guys, which ran on NBC from 1997 to 2001.  The entire show is currently streaming on Tubi!

What’s happening with the neat guys?  Let’s find out.

Episode 2.11 “A Nobel Profession”

(Dir by Frank Bonner, originally aired on November 21st, 1998)

Welcome to Manny High!  Check out how convoluted this mess is.

Homecoming is approaching and Ms. Nobel tells her students that she will not be happy if she catches any of them playing a prank against Manny’s rival, George Washington High.  Chris and Jamal decide that this means that they can pull a prank as long as Ms. Nobel doesn’t notice.  So, somehow, they steal a gigantic, heavy, stone statue of George Washington from Washington High and they bring it to Manny High.  Now, setting aside the issue of how they managed to steal the statue, why would they bring it back to Manny High?  I mean, the whole idea is to keep Ms. Nobel from finding out about the prank.

Anyway, Ms. Nobel sees the statue and cancels the Homecoming dance and announces that no Manny High students, outside of the football team, will be allowed to attend the Homecoming game.  On their radio show, Chris and Jamal announce that everyone is going to skip class and go up to the roof and play football.  (How do they still have this show?  Are school-sponsored radio shows allowed to promote skipping class?)  Nobel is so upset to see everyone on the roof that she quits.  As she explains it, she has never — in her 15 years of being the sole authority figure at a tough inner city school — been treated disrespectfully before.

Meanwhile, because this is a Thanksgiving episode, Cassidy and Dawn build a big paper-mache turkey for homecoming.  But then L-Train and Al accidentally break off the turkey’s head.  Rather than admit that it was their fault, they allow Cassidy and Dawn to fight over who was responsible.  This is the sort of thing that Ms. Nobel would usually handle but Ms. Nobel is gone now and the new principal, Mr. Brown, doesn’t care.

Mr. Brown, by the way, is played by …. FRED WILLARD!

Yes, that Fred Willard.  I guess Christopher Guest wasn’t making a movie at the time so Fred was free to hop over to the City Guys set and play Mr. Brown.  Mr. Brown is supposed to be a clueless and insensitive buffoon who doesn’t really care about the students but he’s played by Fred Willard so it’s impossible to dislike him.  When Ms. Nobel eventually changes her mind and tells Mr. Brown to get off her campus, the audience applauds but the viewers are like, “No!  We like Fred Willard!”

That said, I do have to wonder how Ms. Nobel could quit her job and then just change her mind a few days later without it being a big deal.  She just walks into the school, announces that she’s back, and she tells Mr. Brown to leave.  Does the School Board have any say in this?

On the one hand, this was a dumb episode.

On the other hand …. Fred Willard!

Episode 2.12 “Party of Three”

(Dir by Frank Bonner, originally aired on November 28th, 1998)

Despite using the broadcast to promote civil unrest, Chris and Jamal still have their radio show.  When they get a call from a girl who asks whether or not she should dump her boyfriend, Jamal says sure.  Uh-oh, the boyfriend was Al!  And now, his ex-girlfriend wants to date Jamal!  “You broke the code!” Ms. Nobel announces, showing that even she understands dude clichés.

Meanwhile, Dawn wants to throw a comet watching party on the school’s roof.  L-Train ruins it by trying to get the attention of the aliens but accidentally getting the attention of the police instead.

This was a dumb episode but I did find it funny that Al, who usually portrayed as being a goofy sidekick, was apparently planning on killing his ex’s new boyfriend at one point and he even had a group of informants who were willing to help him out with his plans.  This show could never quite decide just how dangerous Manny High was actually supposed to be.

Retro Television Reviews: The Love Boat 1.11 “Lonely at the Top/Silent Night/Divorce Me, Please”


Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Wednesdays, I will be reviewing the original Love Boat, which aired on ABC from 1977 to 1986!  The series can be streamed on Paramount Plus!

It’s time to spend the holidays on the big seas!

Episode 1.11 “Lonely at the Top/Silent Night/Divorce Me, Please”

(Dir by Alan Baron, originally aired on December 10th, 1977)

Yay!  It’s a Christmas cruise!

Every season, The Love Boat did a special Christmas episode.  Last year, MeTV presented a marathon on Love Boat Christmases and what I discovered is that every Christmas episode featured the crew working through the holidays and missing their families.  Nearly every Christmas episode also featured someone dressing up as Santa Claus and at least one veteran of the Golden Age of Hollywood.

The very first Christmas episode opens with the Julie, Isaac, Gopher, and Doc talking about how much they miss their families.  We find out that Gopher’s family lives on a farm.  Julie is from Oregon.  Doc is from Las Vegas.  (The show always tried to portray Doc as being some sort of Sinatra-style swinger, despite the fact that he was played by the very even-tempered Bernie Kopell.)  Their conversation is interrupted by Captain Stubing who explains that 1) he’s divorced and 2) he’s a middle-aged man who doesn’t get along with his stepmother.  Not only does he not have a family but the sea is his home and he has more to worry about than everyone’s holiday spirit.

Much as with Doc being a swinger, Captain Stubing being a stern taskmaster was a recurring theme during the first season of The Love Boat.  The crew was always talking about how Stubing had a reputation for demanding perfection for those working under him and being quick to fire anyone who failed to live up to his standards.  And yet, we never really see anything that would back up Stubing’s fearsome reputation.  Just as how Bernie Kopell was a bit too even-tempered to be believable as a legendary playboy, Gavin MacLeod was a bit too naturally pleasant to be believable as someone who would strike fear in the hearts of his crew.  While I have no idea what Gavin MacLeod was like offscreen, when he’s onscreen he comes across as being likable and friendly.  Whenever Captain Stubing is meant to be upset or disappointed with his crew, he comes across as being more petulant than fearsome.  That’s certainly the case in this episode.  Captain Stubing may say that he’s not into the holidays but you never believe him.

Of course, that works to this episode’s advantage.  Realizing that he’s failing to bond with his crew and that his lack of holiday spirit is rubbing everyone the wrong way, Stubing turns to Father Mike (Dick Sargent) for advice.  Father Mike is escorting a group of children to an orphanage in Mexico but he still takes time to give Stubing some counseling.  Let the crew know that you care about them, Father Mike says.  Stubing attempts to do so but his attempts at small talk are so awkward that the crew just becomes more frightened of him.  Finally, Stubing resorts to dressing up like Santa Claus.  The crew may be scared of him but Father Mike’s orphans love him.  Anyway, it all works out in the end and believe it or not, I actually did find myself getting invested in this very silly storyline.  Gavin MacLeod may not have been believable as a stern captain but he was likable enough that it’s hard not to feel bad about him having a bad holiday.

While this is going on, Dan Barton (John Gavin) and his wife, Lila (Donna Mills), attempt to enjoy the holiday cruise.  The only problem is that Dan has just been released from prison and he is struggling to adjust to being on the outside.  No soon has Dan boarded the ship then he spots his former law partner, Walter (Dean Santoro).  Walter committed the crime that Dan went to prison for and Dan becomes obsessed with getting revenge on him.  Lila, meanwhile, wonders if Dan will ever give up his anger.  There’s something a bit jarring about going from Captain Stubing dressing up like Santa Claus to Dan Barton plotting to murder someone.  John Gavin gave a good performance but the shift in tone between his story and the rest of the episode was almost too extreme.  It’d be like if they had made an episode of The Office where Pam suddenly found herself tempted to cheat on Jim with a member of the documentary crew.  Tonally, it just felt out of place.

Finally, everyone thinks that Paul (Shecky Greene) and Audrey Baynes (Florence Henderson) are the perfect couple but actually, they’re both sick of each other and they spend most of their time thinking about getting a divorce.  The gimmick here is that we hear their thoughts.  So, Paul will tell Audrey how much he loves her and then we’ll hear him think something like, “Yeah, I’d love to toss you overboard.”  It’s a one joke premise that gets old pretty quickly.  Also, needless to say, this is The Love Boat and not The Divorce Boat.  Things work out.

My reaction to this episode was a bit mixed but, to be honest, I like Christmas shows.  Even if they’re not perfect, I still like them.  And it was hard for me not to smile at the Christmas tree in the ship’s lounge or at all the decorations hanging on the ship’s walls.  The Captain’s story had a lot of Christmas spirit and I enjoyed that.  If you can’t spend the holidays at home, The Love Boat seems like a good substitute.

Retro Television Reviews: Fantasy Island 1.10 “The Over-The-Hill-Gang/Poof, You’re A Movie Star!”


Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Tuesdays, I will be reviewing the original Fantasy Island, which ran on ABC from 1977 to 1986.  The entire show is currently streaming on Tubi!

Smiles, everyone!  Smiles!

Episode 1.10 “The Over-The-Hill-Gang/Poof, You’re A Movie Star!”

(Dir by Earl Bellamy, originally aired on April 15th, 1978)

Uh-oh, Tattoo has a new money-making scheme!  It involves a parrot.  While the exact details of Tattoo’s schemes are a bit vague, it all involves teaching the parrot how to speak.  Again, I’m not sure how exactly that’s going to make Tattoo a lot of money but whatever.  I like parrots.

Still, it’s hard not to notice that Tattoo seems to spend a lot of time trying to figure out ways to make extra money.  Tattoo is the second-in-command at the world’s most prestigious resort so you have to wonder why he always seems to be so desperate to bring in some extra cash.  It’s not like Tattoo is paying rent or even buying his own food.  That’s all provided by Mr. Roarke and the island.  Add to that, it has been implied that Tattoo is in charge of the island’s finances and that’s not a job that you give to someone who can’t handle his own money.  Maybe Tattoo isn’t looking to make money for himself.  Maybe Fantasy Island is on the verge of bankruptcy due to Roarke’s habit of giving people free fantasies.  Maybe the talking parrot is Tattoo’s latest scheme to save the Island.  If that’s the case, then Tattoo really is the secret hero of this series.

I actually wish this episode has spent more time with the parrot because that little throw-away story was still more interesting than the two main stories.  Don’t get me wrong.  This isn’t a bad episode.  It’s just a bit bland.

Shirley Russell (Barbi Benton) comes to the Island with dreams of becoming a movie star.  Mr. Roarke simply snaps his fingers and suddenly, Shirley has not only an agent but also hundreds of fans following her everywhere that she goes.  She also has a role in a big movie that will be filming on the Island!  When the film’s producer (played by a veteran sleazy guy Herb Edelman) tells Shirley that she’ll have to film a nude scene for the movie, Shirley abandons her fantasy and happily reunites with her earnest fiancé.  Barbi Benton was likable as Shirley but the fantasy itself was predictable and on the blah side.  Shirley’s shock over the proposed nude scene made me wonder if she had actually watched any movies other than The Sound of Music.

The other fantasy dealt with Spencer Randolph (Ray Bolger), an aging bank robber who wanted to pull off one last job with his old gang before marrying a wealthy businesswoman.  Bolger’s old gang was made up of familiar Hollywood character actors like Tom Ewell, Foster Brooks, and Phil Foster.  Along with getting the old gang back together again, Spencer was also able to foil a blackmail scheme.  Again, the storyline was a bit bland but the chemistry between all of the Hollywood veterans was enjoyable.  Ray Bolger was just as spry and likable here as he was when he played the Scarecrow in The Wizard of Oz.  Interestingly enough, 39 years passed between The Wizard of Oz and this episode of Fantasy Island and Bolger was still younger than Joe Biden is today when he played Spencer Randolph, the leader of the over-the-hill gang.

Retro Television Review: Hang Time 2.7 “Fake ID-Ology” and 2.8 “When Loss Is Gain”


Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Mondays, I will be reviewing Hang Time, which ran on NBC from 1995 to 2000.  The entire show is currently streaming on YouTube!

This week, we have one of Hang Time’s best episodes followed by one of its worse!  Let’s jump into it!

Episode 2.7 “Fake ID-Ology”

(Directed by Patrick Maloney, originally aired on October 19th, 1996)

As the episode begins, Coach Fuller is giving his usual pep talk.  Yes, the other team is big and they’re good but the Tornadoes have been playing solid basketball!  Get out and do your best!  Woo hoo!

Except, what’s this?  A bunch of Tornadoes that we’ve never seen before run out onto the court while Julie, Josh, Vince, Danny, and Teddy sit on the bench!  Mary Beth is sitting in the stands, instead of helping Fuller coach.  Amy is sitting next to her and is not in her cheerleading uniform!  Oh my God, what’s going on!?

As we find out via flashback, the good players (along with Mary Beth and Amy) all got fake IDs so they could go to a 21 Only Club.  (If only they lived in Florida instead of Indiana, they could have gone to Miami’s “hottest under 21 club,” The Warehouse.)   Unfortunately, things didn’t go well at the club.  Vince didn’t have a fake ID so he wasn’t allowed to enter but then he kept calling Danny until Danny went outside and handed over his fake ID.  Vince used that ID to get in the club but, because a new bouncer was on duty, now Danny couldn’t get in.  Meanwhile, Josh won a round of free beers and got drunk.  (He had such a hangover, he tells us,  On a TNBC show, even drinking one beer always leads to the worst hangover ever!)  Mary Beth and Amy attracted the attention of some scuzzy weirdos who demanded that they kiss them in return for the free beers that they sent over to the table.  The resulting brawl led to everyone getting grounded and Fuller benching all of them….

….which is kind of weird since it’s not like their Fuller’s kids.  Teddy is Fuller’s godson so it makes sense that Fuller would punish him but I’m not really sure why he cares what the rest of the team does when they’re not on the court.  As well, it seems like Fuller is actually punishing the other players on the team by revealing how bad they are to the rest of the world.  The Tornadoes lose the game and not by a small margin.  Basically, Fuller just announced, “My team sucks except for Julie and Josh.”

Still, there’s a wonderfully overacted moment in which one of the bad players announces that, “I don’t want to let the team down!” while glaring at the players sitting on the bench.  And there’s a funny gag about the bouncers at the club and their reading materials.  One reads The Gulag Archipelago while the other reads the Collected Works of Shakespeare and complains that Danny is so annoying that he can’t even make it through Hamlet.  This is actually one of the best episodes of Hang Time because of the way it skillfully mixes broad comedy and heavy-handed moralizing.

That said, I still think Coach Fuller should have minded his own business.  The Tornadoes are supposed to win games, not learn lessons!

Episode 2.8 “When Loss Is Gain”

(Directed by Patrick Maloney, originally aired on October 26th, 1996)

Because Coach Fuller is giving up getting angry for charity (?), everyone on the team agrees to give up something that they love for a few days.  Julie gives up basketball.  Josh gives up kissing.  Teddy gives up desert.  Vince gives up flirting.  Amy gives up cheerleading.  Danny gives up caring.  How does any of that help the poor?

Mary Beth is supposed to give up shopping and, when she goes to the mall and shops instead, everyone gets all judgmental.  So, Mary Beth goes down to a homeless camp and starts giving out money, which leads to her getting mugged.  Mary Beth says she’s never going to forgive the people who attacked her.

“I’m sorry you got mugged and I’m glad you’re okay,” Josh announces, “but your attitude stinks!”

You know what, Josh?  Go to Hell, you prick.

Anyway, it turns out that Josh is poor along with being condescending but you know what?  Fuck him and his self-righteous attitude.  Seriously, when Josh first appeared on this show, his whole thing was that he wouldn’t play basketball because he felt the team was too focused on winning.  Now, he’s bitching because Mary Beth is upset over being mugged.  What a jerk.

Bleh!

Monday Live Tweet Alert: Join Us For Midnight Ride and Escape From Alcatraz!


As some of our regular readers undoubtedly know, I am involved in hosting a few weekly live tweets on twitter.  I host #FridayNightFlix every Friday, I co-host #ScarySocial on Saturday, and I am one of the five hosts of #MondayActionMovie!  Every week, we get together.  We watch a movie.  We tweet our way through it.

 

Tonight, for #MondayActionMovie, the film will be 1990’s Midnight Ride!  Selected and hosted by RevMagdalen, this movie asks what would happen if someone remade The Hitcher with Michael “The Dude” Dudikoff, Mark Hamill, and Robert Mitchum!  The movie starts at 8 pm et and can be found on YouTube!

 

Following #MondayActionMovie, Brad and Sierra will be hosting the #MondayMuggers live tweet.  We will be watching 1979’s Escape From Alactraz!  This classic Clint Eastwood prison flick can be found on Prime!

It should make for a night of fun viewing and I invite all of you to join in.  If you want to join the live tweets, just hop onto twitter, start Midnight Ride at 8 pm et, and use the #MondayActionMovie hashtag!  Then, at 10 pm et, start Escape From Alcatraz, and use the #MondayMuggers hashtag!  The live tweet community is a friendly group and welcoming of newcomers so don’t be shy.   

 

Film Review: My Dinner With Eric (dir by Eliza Roberts and Darryl Marshak)


One day, in Hollywood, actor Eric Roberts has dinner with Rico Simonini, who is both a fellow actor and a cardiologist to the stars.  They proceed to have a long and somewhat meandering conversation about …. well, just about everything.

Eric asks Rico how he balances being both an observant Catholic and, as a doctor, a man science.  Rico asks if Eric ever met Marlon Brando, which leads to an amusing story about the morning that Eric mistook Brando for being Jack Nicholson’s gardener.  They discuss how the movies have changed over the years, with Eric announcing that, with the exception of Leonardo DiCaprio and Brad Pitt, there are no more movie stars left.  Eric talks about how movies today are made quickly and cheaply and how the fact that we can now watch a movie anywhere has effectively ended the idea of movies being big events.  Rico talks about seeing Frank Sinatra being brought to the hospital for the final time.  They talk about their mutual love of Harry Dean Stanton and Burt Young.  Eric says that, before he became a star, Bruce Willis was the best bartender New York had ever seen.  Eric also talks about getting high with actor Sterling Hayden.

Oddly enough, the film skips around in time.  We seem some snippets of conversation that were apparently shot at a different dinner between the two men.  It’s during this second dinner that Eric is approached by a woman named Sandra who excitedly tells him that she loves his sister.  “Your sister blows my panties off!” she exclaims before walking away.  “Wow,” Rico says as an “OMG” thought balloon suddenly appears over Eric’s head.

The film sets itself up to make us believe that we’ll be eavesdropping on a casual, everyday conversation between the two men but, throughout the film, the men also acknowledge that they are being filmed.  Two women who interrupt the conversation to ask for an autograph also smile straight at the camera.  Are we watching a documentary or are we watching a fictionalized portrait of Eric and Rico’s friendship?  On the one hand, the film’s opening credits specifically credits Rico and Eric Roberts as co-writing the screenplay, which would seem to suggest that we’re watching a scripted conversation.  At the same time, Eric also gets a few details mixed up when he’s telling his stories.  For instance, he says that Jack Nicholson was Oscar-nominated for Terms of Endearment the same year that Eric was nominated for Runaway Train.  Actually, that year, Nicholson was nominated for Ironweed.  It’s not a huge mistake and, indeed, there’s actually something undeniably charming about the fact that Roberts has been doing this for so long that he occasionally has a difficult time keeping his dates straight.  But it’s the type of mistake that one makes while speaking off-the-top of one’s head as opposed to reciting lines from a script.  Are we watching a true conversation or are we watching a recreation of a conversation?  The film leaves it up to us to decide, a reminder that films can reflect reality while also being totally fictional.

When My Dinner With Eric started, the image was grainy and the hand-held camerawork was distracting.  However, as soon as Eric complains that most films made today look like they were shot on someone’s phone, the image suddenly becomes crisper, the camerawork settles down, and even the film’s soundtrack becomes significantly less muddy.  It’s as if, by calling out the poor visuals and sound quality of most low-budget films, Eric Roberts magically fixed this film.  When Eric complains about the service at the restaurant, we get a De Palma-style split screen.  When Eric talks about Rod Steiger, the film slips in a clip from On The Waterfront.  Later, the film finds time to feature a clip from Kubrick’s The Killing.  Even as we listen to the conversation between the two men, the directors make sure that we know that we’re watching a movie, once again tasking us with determining what is real and what is just being said for the cameras.

And yes, it’s all a bit self-indulgent and one could probably argue that this film is a vanity project for both Eric Roberts and Rico Simonini.  But I have to admit that, after a rough start, I actually grew to like this film.  Eric Roberts is a good conversationalist and, as you might expect from someone who has been working in the movies since the late 70s, he’s got a story for every occasion.  There’s an unexpected and earnest sincerity to Eric Roberts in this film and, even more importantly, an undeniable love of acting.  When the film starts, Eric seems awkward and a bit nervous.  But once he starts talking about his technique and the roles that he loved and the ones that he lost out on, he seems to come alive and, before our eyes, he transforms into the quirky performer who has appeared in everything from tough crime films to straight-to-video thrillers to Lifetime melodramas to micro-budget faith movies.  It’s interesting to watch and he and Rico seem to be having a good time talking to each other.  Though Rico may not be as a famous as his friend, he still manages to hold his own in their conversation.

Do I recommend this film?  If you’re a fan of Eric Roberts and if you have the patience necessary to stick with the film despite a somewhat rough beginning, then yes.  It’s currently on Tubi.

Lisa Marie’s Week In Review: 11/7/22 — 11/13/22


I am a year older and on vacation until the end of next week.  It’s currently 42 degrees outside and, with a storm on the way, next week is expected to bring freezing temperatures.  At the same time, I am feeling peaceful and relaxed as we head towards the end of 2022.

Here’s what I watched and listened to this week.

Films I Watched:

  1. All Quiet On The Western Front (2022)
  2. The Automat (2022)
  3. Bitterbrush (2022)
  4. The Bodyguard From Beijing (1994)
  5. Final Justice: Rifftrax Edition (2017)
  6. Frankenstein Reborn (2005)
  7. Girl In the Picture (2022)
  8. Lady in a Corner (1989)
  9. Laserblast (1978)
  10. Man on Fire (2004)
  11. Montana Story (2022)
  12. My Dinner With Eric (2022)
  13. Policewoman Centerfold (1983)
  14. Project Skyquake (2022)
  15. Swimsuit (1989)
  16. Tales From The Darkside: The Movie (1990)
  17. Top Gun (1986)
  18. Top Gun Maverick (2022)
  19. White Elephant (2022)

Television Shows I Watched:

  1. Amazing Race
  2. Atlanta
  3. California Dreams
  4. City Guys
  5. Fantasy Island
  6. Ghosts
  7. Hell’s Kitchen
  8. Law & Order
  9. Love Boat
  10. Survivor

Music To Which I Listened:

  1. Adi Ulmansky
  2. Avril Lavigne
  3. Britney Spears
  4. Carrie Underwood
  5. The Chemical Brothers
  6. ELO
  7. Haim
  8. Katy Perry
  9. Kedr Livanskiy
  10. Kid Rock
  11. Lynard Skynard
  12. Moby
  13. Muse
  14. Rich White
  15. Selena Gomez
  16. Taylor Swift
  17. Yvonne Elliman

Live Tweets:

  1. The Bodyguard From Beijing 
  2. Man On Fire
  3. Laserblast
  4. Tales From The Darkside: The Movie

Trailers:

  1. John Wick 4

News From Last Week:

  1. Actor Kevin Conroy Dies At 66
  2. Guitarist Keith Levene Dies at 65
  3. Watermelon smasher and Marijuana Activist Gallagher dies at 76
  4. Black Panther: Wakanda Forever Wow At The Box Office

Links From Last Week:

  1. Cinematic Medical Malpractice! Check In To “The Hospital!” So “Where Does It Hurt?” These 70’s Movies Have The Diagnosis!
  2. The World’s Common Tater’s Week in Books, Movies, and TV 11/11/22

Links From The Site:

  1. Leonard shared the trailer for John Wick 4!
  2. Jeff shared a music video from Sheena Easton!
  3. I shared music videos from Avril Lavigne and Adi Ulmansky!
  4. I reviewed Project Skyquake and Swimsuit!
  5. I wished everyone a happy election day and shared a statement from Jerry Springer!  I also shared my week in television!
  6. I reviewed Hang Time, Fantasy Island, Love Boat, City Guys, One World, and California Dreams!
  7. Erin shared music videos from Shakira, Bill Gentry, Backstreet Boys, and 98 Degrees!
  8. Erin shared pictures of a fog-shrouded neighborhood!
  9. Erin shared Call Me A Cab, The Strange Trio, Legacy, Loveliest of Friends, Redhead, Detective Tales, and Paris Nights!

More From Us:

  1. At her photography site, Erin shared Overgrown, Swing in Black-and-White, The Backyard on a Foggy Morning, Foggy Morning, Foggy Morning 2, Foggy Morning 3, and Foggy Morning 4!
  2. For Reality TV Chat Blog, I reviewed the latest episodes of The Amazing Race and Survivor!
  3. At my music site, I shared songs from Carrie Underwood, Selena Gomez, Britney Spears, Moby, Rich White, ELO, and Adi Ulmansky!

Want to see what I did last week?  Click here!

Retro Television Reviews: Swimsuit (dir by Chris Thomson)


Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Sundays, I will be reviewing the made-for-television movies that used to be a primetime mainstay.  Today’s film is 1989’s Swimsuit.  It  can be viewed on Tubi!

Mrs. Allison (Cyd Charisse, in what is basically an extended cameo) is determined to make Saltare Swimsuit Company the most popular swimsuit brand in the world.  And, as we all know, the key to popularity is picking the right models.  She assigns her second-in-command, Brian Rutledge (William Katt, giving off a pure Malibu vibe), to find the most beautiful women and men on the beach.  Joining Brian on this mission is his goofy assistant, Willard Thurm (Tom Villard).

Brian and Willard quickly manage to gather a group of potential models, all of whom will now compete for the chance to represent Saltare.  Among the hopefuls:

Maria (Nia Peeples) is hoping that she will not only become the body of Saltare but that she’ll also be able to launch an acting career.  Complicating matters is that she used to be married to Brian and he tends to get upset whenever an audition causes her to be late to a photoshoot.

Jade (Catherine Oxenberg) wants to be famous and rich and she’s already living a wealthy lifestyle.  Everything about Jade suggests that she’s probably doing massive amounts of cocaine but, since this is a made-for-TV movie, we don’t get to see any of that.  Instead, she ends up having a very unlikely romance with Willard.

Romella (Ally Walker) is Hungarian and speaks mangled English, which this film plays for cringey laughs.  She befriends a male model named Scott (Paul Johansson) and schemes to make money.

Finally, Rosy (Cheryl Pollak) is an innocent and naïve waitress who, like all good Americans, has always dreamed of being a model.  As she competes, she finds herself torn between two potential suitors.  Chris Cutty (Billy Warlock, showing off the blue  collar beach style that landed him the role of the troubled lifeguard on Baywatch) is working class but honest and he has big plans of opening up his own business.  Hart Chadway (Jack Wagner) is slick and wealthy and older.  Gee, I wonder who Rosy will end up with?

You know all the horror stories that you hear about the modeling industry?  The sexual harassment?  The eating disorders?  The constant pressure to be perfect?  The drug addiction and the depression and the stalkers and the cancel crowd watching your every move?  Well, absolutely none of that is present in Swimsuit, which basically portrays modeling as perhaps the most earnest and wholesome industry to be found in the United States.  Mrs, Allison wants the best for all of her models and Brian and Willard are complete gentlemen.  You’ll be able to guess, from the minute she first appears onscreen, who is ultimately going to be the winner of the model search but, in the end, everyone gets something to be happy about.  This is a film without any real conflict, beyond Rosy trying to decide whether to date a working class hunk or a slightly more wealthy hunk.

You may have guessed that there’s not a huge amount of depth to Swimsuit.  It’s a movie about good looking people posing in swimsuits.  It’s the type of film that you can play in the background while you do other things.  Whenever someone starts singing a song on the soundtrack or you hear the sound of waves hitting the beach, you know that it’s time to look at the screen.  No one in the film makes a huge impression, though Cyd Charisse is properly eloquent as Mrs. Allison and William Katt is likable as Brian.  Tom Villard and Catherine Oxenberg make for an unexpectedly cute couple, which just goes to show that it’s never a bad idea to temper beauty with goofiness and vice versa.  Otherwise, this is an inoffensive but slightly forgettable fantasy of what it’s like to be a model.

Lisa Marie’s Week In Television: 11/6/22 — 11/12/22


It’s my birthday and I’m up at Lake Texoma so, needless to say, I haven’t been watching much television.  That said, we just got hit by the first cold front of the season and both freezing temperatures and rain are on the way so, for the upcoming week, I may not be doing much other than staying inside and watching old TV shows.

Anyway, here’s a few thoughts on what I watched this week:

The Amazing Race (Wednesday Night, CBS)

With Quinton and Mattie getting eliminated, we are now down to five teams!  To be honest, I get the feeling that Aubrey and David are going to come out of nowhere and somehow manage to win the final leg.  That said, as a Big Brother watcher, I am rooting for Claire and Derek and, as a dancer, I’m rooting for Luis and Michelle.  I wrote about this week’s episode at the Reality TV Chat Blog!

Atlanta (Thursday Night, FX)

Atlanta came to a conclusion this week with an episode that somehow managed to wrap up the show’s themes while also feeling just like another episode of Atlanta.  The show ended with a celebration of the relationships between the main characters and a hint that we might all just be in a sensory deprivation tank.  It was a great ending for a good show.

California Dreams (YouTube)

I wrote about California Dreams here!

City Guys (Tubi)

I wrote about City Guys here!

Fantasy Island (Tubi)

I wrote about Fantasy Island here!

Ghosts (Thursday Night, CBS)

Poor Pete!  A trashy reality show called “Dumb Deaths” wanted to shoot an episode about his dumb death.  Fortunately, a series of weird events led to them actually doing a show about the hippie’s death.  Compared to the first season, the second season has been a bit uneven but last night’s episode did make me laugh.

Hell’s Kitchen (Thursday Night, FOX)

It seems like Trenton should have known better than to have his wedding reception at Hell’s Kitchen.  Needless to say, things did not go well.  Chef Ramsey kicked both teams out of the kitchen and then sent home two chefs.  And really, the two teams were so incompetent that night that they left Chef Ramsey with no other option.  I will never eat another scallop.

Law & Order (Thursday, Night, NBC)

Price and Mouron humiliated a prominent activist attorney in order to get a murder conviction.  We knew the attorney was powerful because, in her office, there was a really photoshop of her standing next to Nancy Pelosi.  I’ve finally gotten to the point where I kind of like Detective Cosgrove and Jeffrey Donavon’s performance has definitely improved over last season’s one-note characterization.  That said, there’s still a self-righteousness to Price that just makes me want to throw something at the screen whenever he launched into one of his sermons.

The Love Boat (Paramount Plus)

I wrote about The Love Boat here.

Mid-Term Coverage (All Week, All Over The Place)

Come on, Arizona …. HURRY UP!  I swear, we knew who won in Texas on election night and this state is a hundred times bigger and more populated than Arizona and Nevada combined.  If you really want to fight against the conspiracy theories, a good first step would be to not be totally incompetent at your job.

Survivor (Wednesday Night, CBS)

This week, Jeanine become the first member of the jury.  That was not a shock at all.  I wrote about this week’s episode at the Reality TV Chat Blog!

Live Tweet Alert: Watch Tales From The Darkside with #ScarySocial


As some of our regular readers undoubtedly know, I am involved in a few weekly live tweets on twitter.  I host #FridayNightFlix every Friday, I co-host #ScarySocial on Saturday, and I am one of the five hosts of #MondayActionMovie!  Every week, we get together.  We watch a movie.  We tweet our way through it.

Tonight, for #ScarySocial, Tim Buntley will be hosting 1990’s Tales From The Darkside!

If you want to join us on Saturday night, just hop onto twitter, start the film at 9 pm et, and use the #ScarySocial hashtag!  The film is available on Prime.  I’ll probably be there and I imagine some other members of the TSL Crew will be there as well.  It’s a friendly group and welcoming of newcomers so don’t be shy.