As some of our regular readers undoubtedly know, I am involved in hosting a few weekly live tweets on twitter and occasionally Mastodon. I host #FridayNightFlix every Friday, I co-host #ScarySocial on Saturday, and I am one of the five hosts of Mastodon’s #MondayActionMovie! Every week, we get together. We watch a movie. We snark our way through it.
Tonight, for #MondayActionMovie, the film will be 2011’s Killer Elite! Selected and hosted by Sweet Emmy Cat, this movie features an all-star cast and failed to make back its budget so you know it has to be good!
Following #MondayActionMovie, Brad and Sierra will be hosting the #MondayMuggers live tweet. We will be watching 1987’s The Untouchables! The film, which features a look at why Chicago is the worst city ever, is on Prime!
For those of you keeping track, that’s two De Niro films in one night!
It should make for a night of fun viewing and I invite all of you to join in. If you want to join the live tweets, just hop onto Mastodon, pull up Killer Elite on YouTube, start the movie at 8 pm et, and use the #MondayActionMovie hashtag! Then, at 10 pm et, switch over to Twitter and Prime, start TheUntouchables, and use the #MondayMuggers hashtag! The live tweet community is a friendly group and welcoming of newcomers so don’t be shy.
It’s been a busy week for those of us who follow entertainment. Not only did we have the Emmy nominations but we also had SAG-AFTRA going on strike, joining the Writer’s Guild and effectively shutting down Hollywood. It’ll be interesting to see how this plays out. I don’t want to say too much because, honestly, what do I know about labor negotiations? But I will say that, with the era of AI approaching, I’m on the side of whoever is going to continue to give us films that are written by, directed by, and star human beings.
(As a sidenote, I usually don’t write anything about what’s been going on over at the AV Club because I’m acquainted with a few people who have written for the site and I don’t want to make things awkward for them. But there is just something so unbelievably depressing about the news that the AV Club will be one of the sites experimenting with AI-generated articles.)
I watched a lot of true crime this week, in preparation for our October horrorthon. Watching and reviewing 31 true crime films sounds like a good idea until you discover how depressing they are to sit through, one after another.
Here’s what I watched, read, and listened to this week!
Films I Watched:
Andrea’s Story — A Hitchhiker’s Tragedy (1983)
Barbie Dance Club! (1989)
The Case of the Hillside Strangler (1989)
The Day My Kid Went Punk (1987)
The Drug Knot (1986)
The Fourth Man (1990)
Goodnight Sweet Wife: A Murder in Boston (1990)
Happy Face Killer (2014)
The Hunt for the I-5 Killer (2011)
It’s Only Rock n Roll (1991)
Men In Black (1997)
Murder in New Hampshire: The Pamela Smart Story (1991)
Crooked: The Roaring ’20s Tale of a Corrupt Attorney General, a Crusading Senator, and the Birth of the American Political Scandal (2023) by Nathan Masters
Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Sundays, I will be reviewing the made-for-television movies that used to be a primetime mainstay. Today’s film is 1974’s Can Ellen Be Saved! It can be viewed on YouTube!
Ellen Lindsey (Katharine Cannon) is an intelligent but depressed teenager who feels that she just doesn’t belong anywhere in the world. She’s not interested in the money and class-obsessed lifestyle of her parents, Arnold (Leslie Nielsen, back in his serious actor days) and Bea (Louise Fletcher). At the same time, she’s also not interested in the silly lives of her friends, who spend all of their time chasing boys and talking about celebrities. Ellen is looking for something deeper and she thinks that she may have found it when she attends a religious retreat led by a charismatic man named Joseph (Michaele Parks).
Everyone at the retreat is very friendly and very dedicated and very concerned with finding more to life than just surface pleasures. They spend hours listening to sermons. They spend even longer singing hymns. The leaders of the retreat emphasize that anyone can leave whenever they want but, if they do, they’ll still be making the biggest mistake of their life. Ellen is happy because she’s finally found a group of friends who seem to feel the same way that she does about society and materialism. Joseph is happy because he’s brainwashed another member of his cult who he can now send out to panhandle for him and the compound.
Arnold and Bea are not happy when Ellen runs away to join Joseph’s commune. When Arnold visits the commune, he discovers a secretive world where outsiders are not welcome. He also discover that Ellen no longer seems to be capable of thinking for herself. With the police unwilling to help, Arnold and Bea turn to an enigmatic deprogrammer named James Hallbeck (John Saxon). Hallbeck specializes in grabbing kids that have joined cults and bringing them back to their parents. Of course, it’s hard not to notice that neither Joseph nor Arnold seems to be giving much thought to what Ellen actually wants from her life.
Can Ellen Be Saved? is a well-made TV movie that has a lot in common with later films like Split Image and Ticket To Heaven. As in both those movies, the first half of the film details how cults initially brainwash their members while the second half deals with the sometimes harsh process of reversing that brainwashing. And, just as in those two later films, Can Ellen Be Saved? features parents who mistakenly assume that their child can be returned to them exactly as she was before. Though all three of the films feature cults that are definitely sinister, they also feature main characters who were lost before they joined the cult and all three of them end on an ambiguous note, leaving us to wonder if the characters have regained their free will or if they’ve just traded one brainwashing for another.
Along with being a well-written and well-acted film, Can Ellen Be Saved features one of those once-in-a-lifetime casts. Popping up in small roles are familiar faces like William Katt, Rutanya Alda, and Kathleen Quinlan. Michael Parks and John Saxon are both convincing as two morally ambiguous characters whose own motives are left enigmatic. Katherine Cannon is sympathetic as Ellen, whose need to be a part of something leaves her vulnerable to manipulation. Finally, it must be said that Leslie Nielsen — despite his reputation for having been a dull dramatic actor — is actually very effective as Ellen’s confused but well-meaning father. Usually, when I watch Neilsen in a dramatic film, I find myself expecting him to wink at the camera or deliver a silly line in a deliberately flat and unemotional tone. But, in this film, I actually forgot I was watching Leslie Nielsen. Instead, he just become a suburban dad, trying to understand why his daughter was so dissatisfied with the life that he had worked so hard to give her.
I wasn’t expecting much from Can Ellen Be Saved? but it turned out to be surprisingly effective.
I devoted most of this week to movies so I didn’t really watch a lot of television. But here’s some thoughts on what I did watch!
All You Need Is Love (Nightflight Plus)
On Saturday morning, I watched the 2nd episode of this 70s docuseries about the history of rock and roll music. For the most part, the episode took place in Africa and featured interviews with African musicians who discussed how their traditional music was later transformed into both the blues and rock and roll. It was an interesting documentary. Needless to say, there was a lot of good music.
The Ashley Madison Affair (Hulu)
I watched this enjoyably tawdry docuseries on Monday morning. It was a bit too heavy on the talking heads. I mean, I’m not sure that I really needed to hear every single thought Sunny Hostin ever had on the Ashley Madison hack. But the visuals were often so over-the-top and literal-minded that it was impossible not to smile at how overwrought it all was.
Early Sunday morning, I watched a special episode of this 80s sitcom on YouTube. Arnold and his adopted sister Kimberly were kidnapped by a weirdo who tied-up Arnold and threatened to kill Kimberly. That was pretty creepy but what really made it bad was that this was a sitcom so there was a laugh track that just felt totally wrong for the episode. It reminded me a bit of David Lynch’s Rabbits.
Fantasy Island (YouTube)
Fantasy Island has been removed from Tubi! Fortunately, quite a few episodes are available on YouTube but it still bothers me that I’m probably not going to be able to review every single episode for Retro Television Reviews now. Read my thoughts here!
Geraldo (YouTube)
I came across an episode of this 90s talk show on Saturday. In 1993, Geraldo Rivera interviewed “Girls In Hate Groups.” The girls were dating skinheads and Klansmen. The audience was full of people wearing Klan robes and National Socialist uniforms. It was thoroughly icky. Geraldo, I got the feeling, was more concerned with bringing in ratings than actually battling the forces of hate.
Gimme A Break (YouTube)
After he read this week’s review of Hang Time, my friend Mark suggested that I watch an episode of this 80s sitcom. The episode was called “Joey’s Hero” and it featured a 10 year-old Joey Lawrence discovering that his hero — a television host named Captain Jerk (played by Paul Williams) — was not only a real-life jerk but an outright racist as well! It was very 80s but I did smile at the fact that all of the co-stars of the Captain Jerk Show still wore their television costumes even when they went to visit Captain Jerk in the hospital.
Jenny Jones (YouTube)
On this 90s talk show, Jenny Jones gave polygraph tests to self-declared playas.
Lifestories: Families in Crisis
I watched an episode of the 90s HBO anthology show on Thursday. A young Ben Affleck played a high school football player who get hooked on steroids and went crazy.
I watched an episode of this 90s musical anthology show on Friday. Host Tom Juarez took a look at “eclectic female singers.” I was happy because they showed a video from Souixsie and the Banshees.
Pretty Baby: Brooke Shields (Hulu)
I watched this two-part docuseries on Sunday. The first part, which focused on the young Brooke Shields as a symbol and explored how the culture sexually objectifies women while also expecting us to remain chaste and innocent, was far more interesting than the second part, which got bogged down in people insisting that Shields was a better actress than she actually seems to be.
Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Saturdays, I will be reviewing Welcome Back Kotter, which ran on ABC from 1975 to 1979. The entire show is currently streaming on Tubi!
This week, Horshack gets promoted and Julie finally leaves Gabe!
Episode 1.13 “Arrivederci, Arnold”
(Directed by Bob LaHendro, originally aired on December 16th, 1975)
In their tiny apartment, Gabe tells Julie about his uncle, Malcolm Kotter. Malcolm was a traveling salesman who left an umbrella in his hotel room. When he went to retrieve the umbrella, he discovered the room was now occupied by a couple on their honeymoon. Listening to their coital exchange from out in the hallway, Malcolm shouted, “Listen, when you get to the little umbrella, it’s mine!” For once, Julie laughs at the joke.
At school, Mr. Woodman interrupts Gabe’s lesson on Thomas Edison to announce that Arnold Horshack has been doing so well in Gabe’s class that he is now eligible to attend regular classes. Gabe is excited because not only does he now feel like a good teacher but he also sees Horshack as a symbol that proves that even the most difficult of students can be taught. As for the other Sweathogs, they’re just confused.
Horshack, meanwhile, is miserable about going to a class without his friends and he’s even more upset when Gabe tells him that he should try to make new friends and fit in with the regular students. Horshack is so upset that he goes to Kotter’s apartment building and turns down the heat so that Gabe will leave the apartment to complain. With Gabe gone, Horshack slips in through the window and begs Julie (who seriously has the patience of a saint in this episode) to convince Gabe to “like me again.”
Awwwwwwwww!
Seriously, Horshack is a character about whom I usually have mixed feelings. Of all the Sweathogs, he’s always come across as being the most cartoonish. In fact, one could even say that Horshack’s a bit annoying. But, in this episode, Ron Pallilo really broke my heart with how he played Horshack’s desperation to return to his old class. He breaks Julie’s heart too and, after Horshack says that he’ll jump off the highest building in Brooklyn if he’s not returned to his old class (yikes!), Julie makes Gabe see the error of his ways.
How can the Sweathogs convince Mr. Woodman to put Horshack back in Kotter’s class? They put on a play for him, in which they all talk about how important Horshack is to them. Gabe plays the role of Horshack, just for the real thing to wander into the classroom and announce, “I don’t have a mustache.”
Woodman agrees to let Horshack be a Sweathog again. For the most part, I think Mr. Woodman just wanted to escape Gabe’s classroom and return to the safety of his office. I don’t blame him!
Back at the apartment, Gabe tells Julie about the parrot that his cousin bought for his aunt. His aunt ate the parrot.
I felt bad for the parrot but otherwise, this was a sweet episode. I’m glad Horshack returned to where he belonged.
Episode 1.14 “The Longest Weekend”
(Directed by Bob LaHendro, originally aired on January 6th, 1976)
At the apartment, Gabe tells Julie about his aunt Esther, who has always dreamed of getting a singing telegram.
Because she feels like her life has gotten boring, Julie goes to Vermont for a weekend ski vacation. Gabe says that he’s not worried about her being away from him but then he has a conversation with Mr. Woodman in which Woodman tells Gabe about how his fiancée went to Vermont on a ski trip and never returned because she fell in love with a German ski instructor. Woodman says that, as far as he knows, his ex is currently living in the Alps with her husband, who is now pretending to be Swiss. So Mr. Woodman’s fiancée left him for a Nazi war criminal? No wonder Mr. Woodman seems to have so little faith in humanity!
Feeling lonely, Gabe invites the Sweathogs over to his apartment so that they can play poker. However, even the Sweathogs realize that this is a strange thing for a teacher to do with his students and they leave after playing just a few hands. Just as Gabe is about to go up to Vermont himself, Julie comes home early. Apparently, her friend Candy Lieberman was getting on her nerves by talking too much.
With Julie back from Vermont, Gabe tells her about his Uncle Sanford the lumberjack.
This was an odd episode. This show works best when it focuses on the school and not Gabe’s homelife. Other than giving the great John Sylvester White a chance to reveal a little more of just how damaged a person Mr. Woodman truly is, this episode was fairly forgettable.
Next week: The Sweathogs protest the new cafeteria menu! It’s time for a sit-in!
As some of our regular readers undoubtedly know, I am involved in a few weekly live tweets on twitter. I host #FridayNightFlix every Friday, I co-host #ScarySocial on Saturday, and I am one of the five hosts of #MondayActionMovie! Every week, we get together. We watch a movie. We tweet our way through it.
Tonight, for #ScarySocial, Tim Buntley will be hosting 2020’s Blood Vessel!
If you want to join us on Saturday night, just hop onto twitter, start the film at 9 pm et, and use the #ScarySocial hashtag! The film is available on Prime. I’ll probably be there and I imagine some other members of the TSL Crew will be there as well. It’s a friendly group and welcoming of newcomers so don’t be shy.
Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a new feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Fridays, I will be reviewing The Master, which ran on NBC from January to August of 1984. The show can be found on Tubi!
This week, the action moves off the mainland!
Episode 1.10 “The Java Tiger”
(Dir by Bruce Kessler, originally aired on April 13th, 1984)
Max and McAllister go to Hawaii!
I have to admit that I was really excited about this episode, precisely because it did feature Max and McAllister heading to Hawaii. I love Hawaii. Some of my favorite memories come from the summer that me, my sisters and our mom spent in Hawaii. It doesn’t matter how bad a show or a movie may sound, I’ll give it a chance if it features the promise of Hawaii.
Unfortunately, this episode of The Master never really takes advantage of the beauty of the islands. In fact, other than for a few generic shots of Honolulu, it appears that this episode was filmed in California. About the only thing that says Hawaii about this episode are the shirts worn by the bad guys and the lei hanging around Max’s neck when he and McAllister check into their hotel.
Max and McAllister are in Hawaii because McAllister has received a letter from an old friend of his, a private investigator/treasure hunter named Leo Fairchild (Dick O’Neill). Just as with last week, one has to wonder how McAllister got the letter when he doesn’t have a fixed address and he’s supposedly been laying low in America to avoid getting track down by the ninjas who want him dead. As well, how does McAllister have all of these old friends in the United States and how do they all know that he’s a ninja? When the series started, the whole idea was that McAllister had been Japan since the end of World War II and that he had spent the majority of that time either being trained or training others. And yet, as of last week’s episode, McAllister is now suddenly a minor celebrity.
When Max and McAllister arrive in Japan, they meet Leo’s daughter, Shelly (Cynthia Cypert). Shelly tells Max and McAllister that her father was killed while searching for the location of a priceless statue, the fabled Java Tiger. Leo, she explains, was the only person in Hawaii to have a map leading to the tiger’s location. However, whoever killed Leo, stole half of the map. Now, if she’s going to fulfill her father’s dream, she needs to get that half of the map back. She’s pretty sure that Kruger (Kabir Bedi), a notorious and greedy practitioner of the martial arts, has the missing half. So, once again, it’s time for McAllister to put on his black uniform and break into a compound with Max! When things don’t go as well as Max and McAllister might have hoped, they’re saved by an old friend of McAllister’s….
As you may have guessed, Leo isn’t actually dead. He faked his own death so that McAllister would agree to help him find the Java Tiger. As Leo explains it, he needs McAllister to enter the cave where the Tiger is hidden because the cave is full of booby traps and McAllister, being a ninja, is the only man alive who can dodge falling rocks and darts. And, of course, time is of the essence because the cave is on an island that is also home to a volcano that is about to erupt.
This is what the volcano looks like:
To be honest, there’s something oddly charming about how fake the volcano looks. I was pretty annoyed that the episode didn’t have any pretty shot of Hawaii but, as soon as I saw that miniature, plaster volcano spewing smoke, I couldn’t help but smile.
McAllister, Max, Leo, and Shelly arrive at the island with Kruger’s men closely behind. With the volcano erupting all around them, they find the cave and eventually McAllister grabs the Java Tiger. But, when it appears that Kruger might be killed by a booby trap, McAllister drops the statue and saves the life of his enemy because McAllister is a man of honor. As a result, no one gets the tiger but McAllister stays true to his ideals.
To be honest, this episode was so silly that it was almost charming. Unfortunately, the usually reliable character actor Dick O’Neill gives an annoyingly mannered performance as Leo Fairchild, hamming it up and chewing every piece of scenery in sight. Leo is one of those characters who never stops talking and it’s hard not to get annoyed both the character and the actor playing him. In fact, so much time is devoted to Leo talking and talking that the episode almost feels like a pilot for a Leo Fairchild show. Who knows? Maybe it was. All I know is that the episode needed more Hawaii and less Leo.
This was a underwhelming week for The Master. There’s only three episodes left and Max and McAllister don’t seem to be any closer to finding Teri than when they started. Get to work, guys! You’re running out of time!
As some of our regular readers undoubtedly know, I am involved in a few weekly live tweets on twitter and I hope to continue to be until the site finally becomes unusable. (It’s going to happen eventually so enjoy it while you can!) I host #FridayNightFlix every Friday, I co-host #ScarySocial on Saturday, and I am one of the five hosts of #MondayActionMovie! Every week, we get together. We watch a movie. We tweet our way through it.
Tonight, at 10 pm et, #FridayNightFlix has got 1986’s The Wraith! This film stars Charlie Sheen, Sherilyn Fenn, Nick Cassavetes, Randy Quaid, and Clint Howard! Remember …. “if you lose the race, you lose your car!”
If you want to join us this Friday, just hop onto twitter, start the movie at 10 pm et, and use the #FridayNightFlix hashtag! It’s a friendly group and welcoming of newcomers so don’t be shy.
The Wraith is available on Prime and Tubi! See you there!
Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Thursdays, I will be reviewing City Guys, which ran on NBC from 1997 to 2001. Almost the entire show is currently streaming on YouTube!
This week, it’s a trip to the rec center with a stop off at the Manhattan Diner. There’s only a few more episodes left and this show cannot end soon enough.
Episode 5.13 “Weight on Jamal”
(Dir by Frank Bonner, originally aired on October 27th, 2001)
Here’s the plot description, according to Wikipedia:
Jamal wants to get into USC, but his coach tells him that he isn’t in shape enough to be considered for the team. He starts working out and is offered steroids at the health club. Meanwhile Dawn, Cassidy, Chris and Al have to deal with a cruel pottery teacher. Ms. Hotz scares the students and they eventually fight back. She reveals that she is only mean because most people take her class due to her sexy looks.
Seriously, the pottery teacher is named Ms. Hotz? Considering that L-Train apparently didn’t take the pottery class, I’m going to guess that he was busy convincing Jamal to give up the steroids. Since when has Jamal wanted to go to USC? Plus, didn’t he already get a baseball scholarship?
Eh, who cares? I’m glad this episode isn’t on YouTube.
Episode 5.14 “Basket Case”
(Dir by Frank Bonner, originally aired on October 27th, 2001)
God, this episode is stupid.
Jamal’s father is out-of-town and he’s left Jamal with a big responsibility. Jamal has to run the diner, hire some new waitresses, and impress a food critic. Here’s my problem with this. Why is the food critic wasting her time with a generic hamburger place that seems to be exclusively used by the students of Manny High? With all the restaurants in New York, why review that one? As well, how irresponsible and stupid is Jamal’s father to leave Jamal in charge of the diner when something this important is about to happen? When has Jamal ever shown that he can handle that type of responsibility?
Anyway, to the surprise of no one, Jamal screws everything up, misidentifies a friend of Ms. Noble’s as the food critics, and can only watch in horror as the actual food critics leaves in a huff due to not even getting a glass of water while waiting for someone to take her order. Desperate to get the food critic to give the diner a second chance, Chris calls the food critic and pretends to be Jamal’s father. (It’s just as cringey as it sounds as Chris lowers his voice and laughs heartily at his own jokes.) The food critics agrees to give them a second chance. As soon as Chris hangs up, Ms. Noble wanders by and informs Chris, Jamal, and Cassidy that the food critic is in her tango class and that she loves to dance.
This leads to perhaps the stupidest moment ever in the history of this show and that’s saying something.
The food critic returns to the diner. She has a bowl of soup as Jamal and Cassidy watch. She tells them that the diner’s food is some of the best that she had ever had. Now, at this point, Jamal and Cassidy should be happy because the food critic has just told them that she loves the food. There’s no need to do anything else, right? Instead of just taking the victory when they can, they decide bring out “the chef.” The chef turns out to be Chris, wearing a fake mustache. Chris says that he loves to tango and then spins the food critic right out of the diner. WHY!? SHE WAS ALREADY GIVING THE PLACE A GOOD REVIEW! HOW STUPID ARE THESE PEOPLE!? Anyway, Ms. Noble then enters the diner and says that actually, the food critic was not in her tango class but in her Bible study class. WHAT!?
Anyway, the food critic still gives the diner a good review. She recommends that anyone who likes to tango ask for the chef. Except, of course, Chris isn’t actually the chef so anyone who asks is going to be massively disappointed.
GOD, THAT WAS STUPID! And it was only the B-plot!
The A-plot dealt with a rec center, which we’ve never seen before despite the fact that everyone on the show acts as if it’s a huge part of their lives. Dawn has a crush on the 50 year-old head of the center and when he says that the Rec Center may have to close down due to lack of money, Dawn decides to hold a fund raiser. Her plans involves a basketball shoot out and apparently, it’s imperative that both L-Train and his new girlfriend, Kianna, compete. (I’m not sure why.) However, L-Train worries that competing against his girlfriend will lead to them breaking up. Kianna reluctantly agrees not to take part in the shoot out but then, at the last minute, L-Train realizes he’s being a jerk and asks her to compete. And, of course, she wins.
Why did L-Train have a change of heart? I have no idea but the important thing is that the Rec Center stays open.
This was a dumb episode, all-around. Graduation cannot come soon enough!
Today’s scene that I love features Harrison Ford in one of his more unexpected roles. In Francis Ford Coppola’s Apocalypse Now, he played one of the three men who ordered Martin Sheen to go upriver and assassinate Marlon Brando. It’s a small role, especially when one considers that Ford had appeared as Han Solo just two years before. Given the lengthy shooting of Apocalypse Now, there’s some debate as to whether Ford was actually cast in the role before he was selected for Star Wars. Giving credence to that theory is that Ford played a similar role for director Francis Ford Coppola in The Conversation. However, it’s hard not to notice that Ford plays Col. G. Lucas, which would suggest that his casting was a bit of an inside joke. Speaking of inside jokes, G.D. Spradlin plays General R. Corman, no doubt named for the man who gave Coppola his start in the business.
(Interesting enough, both Spradlin and Corman played U.S. Senators in The Godfather Part II.)
In this scene, Ford shows off the nerdy intensity that was actually kind of his acting trademark before Star Wars changed his screen persona. This scene, along with his work in The Conversation, serves as a reminder that Harrison Ford is a pretty good character actor along with being one of the last great movie stars.
Through the Shattered Lens 