2017 in Review: The Best of Lifetime

Posted on January 17, 2018 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Today, I continue my look back at the previous year with my picks for the best of Lifetime in 2017! Below, you’ll find my nominations for the best Lifetime films and performances of 2017! Winners are starred and listed in bold!

(As a guide, I used the credits for the imdb. If anyone has been miscredited or let out, please feel free to let me know and I’ll fix the error both here and, if I can, on the imdb as well.)

Best Picture

Drink Slay Love, produced by Tina Pehme, Kim Roberts, Sheri Singer, Bella Thorne

From Straight A’s to XXX, produced by Austin Andrews, John Bolton, Anne-Marie Hess, Tina Pehme, Kim Roberts, Sheri Singer

Four Christmases and a Wedding

New York Prison Break: The Seduction of Joyce Mitchell, produced by Deen Dioria, David Manzanares, Ron Schmidt, Judith Verno, Frank von Zerneck.

The Rachels, produced by Paige Lauren Billot, Margaret H. Huddleston, Maggie McFarren, Hannah Pillemer, Rebecca G. Stone.

Running Away, produced by Dureyshevar, Jeff Faehnle, Jack Nasser, Jacob Nasser, Joseph Nasser, Bri Noble.

Sea Change. Produced by Sharon Bordas, Alec Chorches, Adam Fratto, Steven Gilder, David MacLeod, A.J. Mendez, Shawn Piller, Lloyd Segan, Stephanie Slack, Fernando Szew

Secrets in Suburbia, produced by Kristopher McNeeley, Jacobo Rispa, Damian Romay, Stephanie Slack, Fernando Szew.

The Watcher in the Woods, produced by Simon Barnes, Alexandra Bentley, Andrew Gernhard, Jennifer Handorf, Paula Hart.

* Web Cam Girls, produced by Tom Berry, Pierre David, Hank Grover, Sheri Reeves, Ken Sanders, Noel Zanitsch*

Best Director

* Doug Campbell for Web Cam Girls

Michael Civille for The Rachels

Vanessa Parise for From Straight A’s to XXX

Damian Romay for Secrets in Suburbia

Brian Skiba for Running Away

Stephen Tolkin for New York Prison Break: The Seduction of Joyce Mitchell

Best Actor

James Franco in High School Lover

Zack Gold in Psycho Brother-in-Law

Stephen Graybill in Web Cam Girls

Timothy Granderos in The Twin

Ted McGinley in Fatherly Obsession

* Ryan Patrick Shanahan in Sinister Minister

Best Actress

Barbie Castro in Boyfriend Killer

Holly Deveaux in Running Away

Sedonna Legge in Web Cam Girls

* Penelope Ann Miller in New York Prison Break: The Seduction of Joyce Mitchell

Heather Morris in Psycho Wedding Crasher

Haley Pullos in From Straight A’s to XXX

Best Supporting Actor

Francois Arnaud in High School Lover

Joe Hackett in Web Cam Girls’

William McNamara in Running Away

Patrick Muldoon in Boyfriend Killer

Judd Nelson in From Straight A’s to XXX

* Daniel Roebuck in New York Prison Break: The Seduction of Joyce Mitchell

Best Supporting Actress

Madison Iseman in The Rachels

Anjelica Huston in The Watcher in the Woods

* Tonya Kay in Web Cam Girls

Paula Trickey in Running Away

Ashley Wood in Wicked Mom’s Club

Lorynn York in Web Cam Girs

Best Screenplay

From Straight A’s to XXX. Anne-Marie Hess.

New York Prison Break: The Seduction of Joyce Mitchell. Stephen Tolkin.

The Rachels. Ellen Huggins.

* Running Away. Sheri McGuinn.

Secrets in Suburbia. Damian Romay.

Web Cam Girls. Stephen Romano.

Best Cinematography

Drink Slay Love. Vic Sarin.

Four Christmases and a Wedding. Mike Kam.

Off the Rails. Denis Maloney.

Running Away. Patrice Lucien Cochet.

* Sea Change. Jackson Parrell.

Ten: Murder Island. Richard Clabaugh.

Best Costuming

* Drink Slay Love. Liene Dobraja.

From Straight A’s to XXX. Liene Dobraja.

The Lost Wife of Robert Durst. Tina Fiorda.

New York Prison Break: The Seduction of Joyce Mitchell. Maria Bentfield.

The Rachels. Courtney Stern.

Stage Fright. Monique Hyman.

Best Editing

* From Straight A’s to XXX. Rob Grant.

Four Christmases and a Wedding. Paul Ziller.

New York Prison Break: The Seduction of Joyce Mitchell. Mark Stevens.

The Rachels. Brett Solem.

Sea Change. Matthew Anas.

Web Cam Girls. Jordan Jensen.

Best Makeup and Hairstyling

Drink Slay Love. Jessica Green, Catherine Long, Alysha McLoughlin, Sahar Sharelo.

The Lost Wife of Robert Durst. Lorna Bravo, Kelly Grange, Shelly Jensen, Mary Renvall, Melissa Sahlstrom.

* New York Prison Break: The Seduction of Joyce Mitchell. Claudia Breckenridge, Daniel Casillas, Nicole Gabaldon, Pepper J. Gallegos, Madeline McCue, L. Taylor Roberts

The Rachels. Taylor Bennett, Austin Cuccia.

Secrets in Suburbia. Andrea Ahl, Trevor Thompson

The Watcher in the Woods. Chloe Edwards.

Best Score

Drink Slay Love. Justin R. Durban

Fatherly Obsession. Aiko Fukushima.

Sea Change. Shawn Pierce.

* Story of a Girl. Travis Bacon.

Ten: Murder Island. Ceiri Torjussen.

The Watcher in the Woods. Felix Bird.

Best Production Design

New York Prison Break: The Seduction of Joyce Mitchell. Will Albarz, Anthony Medina.

Running Away. Vincent Albo, Rose Beltran

Secrets in Suburbia. Brendan Turrill.

Ten: Murder Island. Eric Whitney, Caley Bisson.

Tiny House of Terror

* Web Cam Girls. Catch Henson, James W. Thompson Jr., Katherine Bulovic, Valerie Munguia

Best Sound

Britney Ever After

Drink Slay Love

From Straight A’s to XXX

Sea Change.

Under the Bed

* The Watcher in the Woods

Best Visual Effects

The Watcher in the Woods

And there you have it! Those are my picks for the best of Lifetime in 2017! Thank you for your indulgence! On Friday, I’ll be concluding my look back at 2017 with my picks for the 26 best films of the year!

Previous entries in the TSL’s Look Back at 2017:

Cleaning Out The DVR: Sea Change (dir by Chris Grismer)

Posted on January 17, 2018 by Lisa Marie Bowman

(Hi there! So, as you may know because I’ve been talking about it on this site all year, I have got way too much stuff on my DVR. Seriously, I currently have 162 things recorded! I’ve decided that, on February 15th, I am going to erase everything on the DVR, regardless of whether I’ve watched it or not. So, that means that I’ve now have only have a month to clean out the DVR! Will I make it? Keep checking this site to find out! I recorded Sea Change off of Lifetime on September 17th, 2017! Incidentally, Sea Change was the final 2017 Lifetime movie that I had sitting on my DVR. I have now watched and reviewed all of the Lifetime films that I recorded in 2017!)

Based on the novel by Aimee Friedman, Sea Change tells the story of Miranda and T.J.

Miranda (Emily Rudd) is a fiercely intelligent and independent teenager who, having lost her father, is spending the summer on an island with the mother (Maria Drizzia) that she barely knows. It’s a beautiful island, one that is very popular with rich vacationers, the majority of whom have spoiled children. It’s a struggle for Miranda to fit in. She has deeper interests than just popularity and money. Add to that, she doesn’t swim. With everyone on the island obsessed with getting in the water, Mirana is stuck on the land.

T.J. (Keenan Tracy) lives on the island year-round. His family is not rich. T.J. works for a living and he’s not going to let anyone push him around just because they happen to have more money than he does. When Miranda first sees T.J. she notices his scars. When she sees him a second time, the scars have disappeared. When Miranda falls into the water, T.J. saves her from drowning. T.J. claims that he just dived after her but Miranda gets the feeling that there’s something more to it, almost as if he was already in the water when she fell in. When he grabbed her underwater and led her back to the surface, there was something different about his eyes…

Could it have anything to do with the legendary Seawalkers? The Seawalkers are said to be half-human and half-fish. Everyone knows the story has to be a myth but, after T.J. rescues her, Miranda isn’t quite sure. Could the Seawalkers be real and could they be connected to the secrets that Miranda believes her mother to be hiding from her?

You’ve probably already guesses the answers to all of those questions but that’s okay. Sea Change won’t win many points for originality. If you’ve seen any other film adaptation of a YA novel, you’ll be able to guess almost everything that happens in Sea Change before it happens. But, again, that doesn’t matter. Sea Change is a well-made and likable film, one that is full of gorgeous imagery. (The film really makes excellent use of that island setting.) Keenan Tracy and Emily Rudd are both talented actors and they have a nice chemistry. Underneath all of the talk of Seawalkers, there’s a very real and sincere sweetness to their relationship. You find yourself hoping that things work out for them and really, in order to work, that’s pretty much the only thing that a film like this has to accomplish.

Sea Change ends with the possibility of a sequel. Personally, if they did make a sequel, I’d watch it.

Cleaning Out The DVR: The Watcher In The Woods (dir by Melissa Joan Hart)

Posted on January 16, 2018 by Lisa Marie Bowman

(Hi there! So, as you may know because I’ve been talking about it on this site all year, I have got way too much stuff on my DVR. Seriously, I currently have 163 things recorded! I’ve decided that, on February 15th, I am going to erase everything on the DVR, regardless of whether I’ve watched it or not. So, that means that I’ve now have only have a month to clean out the DVR! Will I make it? Keep checking this site to find out! I recorded The Watcher In The Woods off of Lifetime on October 21st, 2017!)

There’s something watching in the woods.

At the very least, that’s what Jan (Tallulah Evans) believes. Jan and her family are spending the summer in Wales, at the Aylwood Manor. From the minute that they move in, Jan starts to suspect that something is strange about the place. Sometimes, she thinks that she can hear whispers coming from the nearby woods. Her younger sister starts to act strangely. Their parents are convinced that Jan is just playing tricks and trying to frighten them. When Jan tries to find out more information about both the woods and her new home, she discovers that most of the people in the village don’t want to talk about it. Those that do speak to her tend to say things like, “Soon, you’ll be gone too.”

(Other than some shots of the beautiful countryside, I doubt this film will do much for Welsh tourism.)

And then there’s Mrs. Aylwood (Anjelica Huston), the mysterious and stand-offish owner of Aylwood Manor. Thirty years ago, her daughter disappeared in the woods. Most people in the village believe that Mrs. Aylwood murdered her own daughter. At first, Jan suspects that she’s a witch and that she not only sacrificed her daughter but now wants to sacrifice Jan’s sister as well!

Of course, the truth might be something altogether different. It’s not always so easy to tell who is a witch and who is just a grieving mother. The only thing that Jan knows for sure is that there’s something in the woods and it’s watching…

I have to admit that the main reason I wanted to see The Watcher In The Woods was because it was directed by Melissa Joan Hart and she’ll always be Sabrina, the Teenage Witch to me. (Don’t start yelling at me about God’s Not Dead 2. Actors have bills to pay and Melissa gave about as good a performance as anyone could with that script.) Hart does a pretty good job directing The Watcher In The Woods. It’s not particularly scary but, for all the talk of witches and demons, it’s not really meant to be a horror film. Instead, it’s a coming-of-age story with paranormal elements. Jan not only learns about what’s watching in the woods but she also learns an important lesson about assuming that people are witches. And, even if it’s not really a scary movie, it does have some appropriately creepy scenes. The woods are a great location and there’s a scene where Jan nearly downs that’s especially well-handled. The film is also well-acted, with a natural and believable performance from Tallulah Evans and an enjoyably stylized one from Anjelica Huston.

All in all, The Watcher in The Woods was an enjoyable October treat.

Cleaning Out The DVR: Story of a Girl (dir by Kyra Sedgwick)

Posted on January 15, 2018 by Lisa Marie Bowman

(Hi there! So, as you may know because I’ve been talking about it on this site all year, I have got way too much stuff on my DVR. Seriously, I currently have 163 things recorded! I’ve decided that, on February 15th, I am going to erase everything on the DVR, regardless of whether I’ve watched it or not. So, that means that I’ve now have only have a month to clean out the DVR! Will I make it? Keep checking this site to find out! I recorded Story of a Girl off of Lifetime on July 23rd, 2017!)

Michael (Kevin Bacon) owns a pizza place in a small town. He’s just hired 16 year-old Deanna Lambert (Ryann Shane) to work for him over summer. Deanna shows up for her first day of work. Deanna apologizes for being late. Michael points out that he has no costumers so it doesn’t matter. Michael then introduces Deanna to his other employee, Tommy (Tyler Johnston). Deanna looks shocked. Tommy looks shocked.

“You two know each other?” Michael asks.

“In the biblical sense,” Tommy replies.

And so it goes from there…

Seriously, what was I doing on July 23rd that kept me from watching Story of a Girl? Was I watching a shark movie on SyFy? I do remember that Story of a Girl was very aggressively advertised in the days leading up to its premiere and I did actually mean to watch it. I’ve read the Sara Zarr penned book on which it was based and the commercials made it look fairly good. Add to that, it was directed by Kyra Sedgwick and co-starred Kevin Bacon and they seem like such a nice couple that I was naturally hoping it would be a good movie.

Three years ago, a sex video featuring 13 year-old Deanna and 17 year-old Tommy went viral. While Tommy (who, as Michael points out, was committing a felony) suffers not a single bit for taking advantage of his best friend’s younger sister, Deanna is branded a slut and sent into social exile. Her father, Ray (Jon Tenney), refuses to forgive her. Tensions at home are exasperated by the presence of Deanna’s brother, Darren (Iain Belcher), his girlfriend, Stacey (Sosie Bacon), and their baby. Darren and Stacey are planning on moving into a place of their own and Deanna is planning on going with them.

Though it may not be obvious from that plot description, Story a Girl is not a typical Lifetime film. It takes place in a thoroughly blue-collar milieu and the Lamberts live in perhaps the ugliest, most cluttered house that I’ve ever seen. Between that house and Ray acting like an asshole 24/7, it’s easy to understand why Deanna wants to get away from these people. The problem, however, is that, after only a few minutes, most viewers will be desperate to get out of there as well. And, unlike Deanna, viewers actually have a way of doing that. They can just change the channel. The film does have a good and important message but the characters are all so off-putting that a good deal of the audience probably won’t stick around to hear it.

Story of a Girl is a disappointingly superficial film. The Juno influence is obvious but Story of a Girl never comes to life in the same way that Juno did. Kevin Bacon is solid as Michael and Ryann Shane does a passable Ellen Page impersonation but everyone else is trapped in a film that’s long on plot but short on depth. I really wanted to like Story of a Girl but I just didn’t.

Cleaning Out The DVR: Fatherly Obsession (dir by Daniel Ringey)

Posted on January 15, 2018 by Lisa Marie Bowman

(Hi there! So, as you may know because I’ve been talking about it on this site all year, I have got way too much stuff on my DVR. Seriously, I currently have 166 things recorded! I’ve decided that, on February 15th, I am going to erase everything on the DVR, regardless of whether I’ve watched it or not. So, that means that I’ve now have only have a month to clean out the DVR! Will I make it? Keep checking this site to find out! I recorded Fatherly Obsession off of the Lifetime Movie Network on December 26th, 2017!)

Alyssa Haroldosn (Molly McCook) is a stand-up comedian who has recently moved from Jackson Hole, Wyoming to Los Angeles.

That makes sense, doesn’t it? I mean, I’ve never been to Wyoming, though I did once live in Colorado and I imagine that’s kind of like being in Wyoming. Still, I imagine that there’s probably more opportunities for a comedian in L.A. than in Jackson Hole. Then again, it also seems like there would be considerably less competition in Wyoming than in California. Actually, if Alyssa really wanted to go some place with no competition, she should have moved to Colorado. Nobody’s funny in Colorado…

But, to get back to the movie, it turns out that Alyssa didn’t just move for her career. She also moved because 1) her family was way too clingy and 2) she had a stalker. When we first meet her, she’s living in a cheap motel room and calling 911 nearly every night. But then she’s lucky enough to meet a handsome realtor named Oliver (Jack Turner). Oliver not only appreciates a good fish taco but he also knows of a good, empty apartment!

There’s only three issues with the apartment:

It’s in Oliver’s building and, if you live near Oliver, that means that you’re somehow obligated to share a fish taco with him. Seriously, Oliver never shuts up about his love for fish tacos.
The apartment is empty because the previous tenant — who looked just like Alyssa — was found dead in her bathtub.
The landlord, Robert (Ted McGinley), is a mentally unbalanced stalker who is desperately looking for someone to take the place of his daughter!

You can probably already guess what happens but Fatherly Obsession does add a few new elements to the typical Lifetime stalking formula. When Robert — like all Lifetime stalkers — spies on Alyssa’s apartment, he doesn’t just watch her on his computer. No, Robert uses virtual reality glasses! What that means is that, at random moments, Robert materializes in Alyssa’s apartment and watches her go about her day. It’s a nicely creepy twist to the usual Lifetime formula.

The biggest problem with Fatherly Obsession is that Alyssa’s a comedian and, as a result, the dialogue is often excessively quippy. I spent the first half of the movie worried that Alyssa was going to spend the whole movie almost exclusively speaking in one liners. Then Oliver started talking about fish tacos and I was just like, “Oh my God! MAKE IT STOP!”

But the film got better as it went along. Though her character sometimes drove me crazy, Molly McCook did a good job of capturing both the pain of being a stalked and the difficult of recovery. Ted McGinley was also incredibly creepy as Robert. Fatherly Obsession was a typical Lifetime stalking film but it had enough interesting moments to make it worthwhile for fans of the genre.

Cleaning Out The DVR: Wicked Mom’s Club (dir by Lane Shefter Bishop)

Posted on January 8, 2018 by Lisa Marie Bowman

(Hi there! So, as you may know because I’ve been talking about it on this site all year, I have got way too much stuff on my DVR. Seriously, I currently have 178 things recorded! I’ve decided that, on February 1st, I am going to erase everything on the DVR, regardless of whether I’ve watched it or not. So, that means that I’ve now have only have a month to clean out the DVR! Will I make it? Keep checking this site to find out! I recorded Wicked Mom’s Club, off of the Lifetime Movie Network on October 7th, 2017!)

“You know girls. Friends one day. Enemies the next.”

— Olivia (Ashley Wood) in Wicked Mom’s Club (2017)

To be honest, before I actually sat down and watched this film, I assumed it was going to be comedy.

I mean check out the name: Wicked Mom’s Club. Doesn’t that just bring to mind snarky comments shared over wine and dark secrets?

And then I read the plot description, which basically said that the film was about a single mother who had to defeat the evil moms on the PTA. That sound like a comedy, doesn’t it?

But then I actually started the movie and it begain with a woman sobbing as she committed suicide in her suburban garage. At that point, it was obvious that Wicked Mom’s Club was not going to be a comedy.

Instead, it’s another “based-on-a-true-story” Lifetime film about all of the sordid secrets of the suburbs. It starts with Mandy (Jessica Blakemore) and her teenage daughter Riley (Virginia Tucker) moving into a new house. They’re looking to start a new life. Mandy is freshly divorced from a husband who used to cheat on her. Riley is a talented gymnast who got suspended from her previous school when she tested positive for drugs. It’s time for a new beginning! Not only do they have a new house but Mandy has a great job and an amazingly popular “mommy blog.”

Mandy meets Olivia (Ashley Wood). Olivia is the leader of the Gym Moms, a group of mothers whose daughters are all into gymnastics. At first, Olivia appears to be the nicest person in town. She talks about how much she loves Mandy’s blog. Riley becomes best friend’s with Olivia’s daughter, Chelsea (Bekka Walker). Mandy even confides in Olivia about Riley’s drug problems…

Uhmm, maybe she shouldn’t have done that.

From the beginning, there are hints that Olivia might not be as friendly as she seems. For instance, she deliberately knocks over a bag in order to distract Riley in the middle of her routine. Olivia always seems to be ordering the other Gym Moms around. Plus, a former Gym Mom approaches Mandy and warns her not to trust Olivia….

When Riley turns out to be a better gymnast than Chelsea, strange things start to happen. For instance, when Mandy tries to get a sponsor for her blog, she is shocked to discover that someone else has started a blog about what a terrible mother Mandy is. Since the entire town is obsessed with not only Mandy’s blog but also the random comments that are left on it, everyone starts to turn against Mandy. No one wants anything to do with you when you’re a bad blogger.

But, it doesn’t stop there. For instance, Mandy ends up getting arrested for drug possession. She starts to hear strange noises around her house. She grows paranoid, wondering if maybe Riley actually is blogging about her. Is Mandy being set up? And is this the end of the world’s most important mommy blog?

Wicked Mom’s Club may sound melodramatic but, honestly, I think everyone has had to deal with someone like Olivia at some point in their life. They may not all be as clever as Olivia is at destroying people’s lives but they’re out there, grown up bullies who live vicariously through their children. I grew up dancing and I’ve always been so thankful that my mom never put me under the type of pressure that the majority of my friends had to deal with. Ashley Wood did a good job bringing Olivia to villainous life and Jessica Blakemore and Virginia Tucker were believable as mother and daughter. Their difficult but loving relationship felt real.

I have to admit, though, that I was a little amused by how the entire world of Wicked Mom’s Club pretty much revolved around blogs and bloggers. I had no idea we were so powerful!

Cleaning Out The DVR: Deadly Exchange (dir by Tom Shell)

Posted on January 6, 2018 by Lisa Marie Bowman

(Hi there! So, as you may know because I’ve been talking about it on this site all year, I have got way too much stuff on my DVR. Seriously, I currently have 181 things recorded! I’ve decided that, on February 1st, I am going to erase everything on the DVR, regardless of whether I’ve watched it or not. So, that means that I’ve now have only have a month to clean out the DVR! Will I make it? Keep checking this site to find out! I recorded Deadly Exchange off of the Lifetime Movie Network on December 6th, 2017!)

Thinking about opening up your home to a foreign exchange student?

Personally, I think that’s a great idea. During my junior year of high school, I took an English class with a South African exchange student named Sean. He was a swimmer with a charming accent and a killer smile and needless to say, nearly everyone in the school was in love with him. He once approached my at a party, looked down at the diamond heart pendant that fell right above my cleavage, and said, “I like those,” before winking and moving on. With his accent, he could get away with it. He left after a semester, leaving many a broken heart behind.

So, I say open up your home to those foreign exchange students. However, Deadly Exchange says, “Not so fast!”

Deadly Exchange is an example of a “Be Careful Who You Let Into Your House” Lifetime film. Samantha (Lindsay Hartley) thinks it’ll be good idea to serve as host to a foreign exchange student. Both her husband and her oldest daughter have died and her other daughter, Blake (Victoria Konefal), is still struggling to deal with the loss. When Chloe (Valentina Novakovic) arrives from the UK, she almost seems too go to be true. She’s nice, polite, and, like me, she has red hair. Chloe is soon encouraging Blake to break out of her shell and hang out with more people than just her geeky friend, Jack (Rhys Matthew Bond). With the help of Chloe, Blake even becomes a cheerleader!

However, there are a few drawbacks to having Chloe in the house. For instance, Chloe has a habit of stealing people’s phones, drugging their drinks, flirting with their boyfriends, and drowning their other friends. Whenever Samantha starts to get too concerned about Chloe and her influence on her daughter, an email shows up from Chloe’s parents, suggesting that Samantha throw Chloe a birthday party or do something else that would generally cheer Chloe up. Of course, what Samantha doesn’t realize is that those emails are being sent by Chloe herself…

I really liked Deadly Exchange, largely because it was a good, old-fashioned Lifetime melodrama, one that didn’t take itself too seriously and wasn’t worried about going totally over the top. Chloe may have been a little bit disturbed and she did kill a few people but she did it with so much style that it was fun to watch. When Chloe wasn’t busy with murder and email, she was subtly but cleverly driving a wedge between Samantha, Blake, and everyone they knew. Any experienced Lifetime viewer knew exactly what Chloe was doing and what would probably happen as a result but, largely thanks to Valentina Novakovic’s cheerfully evil performance, it was still a lot of fun to watch. Of course, with a film like this, the villain is always the most interesting character but, as her unwitting victims, Linday Hartley, Victoria Konefal, Jason-Shane Scott, and Rhys Matthew Bond were all sympathetic and made a good impression as well.

(That said, I was definitely Team Chloe for most of the film.)

Deadly Exchange premiered during the days leading up to New Year’s Eve so I imagine a lot of people missed it when it originally aired. But, since Lifetime repeats all of their movies about a hundred times a month, it’ll probably air again soon. Keep an eye out for it!

Cleaning Out The DVR: Tiny House of Terror (dir by Paul Shapiro)

Posted on January 6, 2018 by Lisa Marie Bowman

(Hi there! So, as you may know because I’ve been talking about it on this site all year, I have got way too much stuff on my DVR. Seriously, I currently have 181 things recorded! I’ve decided that, on February 1st, I am going to erase everything on the DVR, regardless of whether I’ve watched it or not. So, that means that I’ve now have only have a month to clean out the DVR! Will I make it? Keep checking this site to find out! I recorded Tiny House of Terror off of Lifetime on June 29th, 2017!)

Before I start this review, I have to admit that, when it comes to the tiny house movement, I lost interest as soon as I saw the words “tiny” and “house.” I mean, I understand that they’re supposed to be better for the environment and easier to take care of. And I get that right now, a lot of people are pretending that they don’t care about material possessions and all that stuff. But, honestly, the only reason I would want a tiny house would be so I could keep it in the backyard of a bigger house.

That said, despite my lack of interest in the tiny house movement, I was a bit intrigued by the idea of a Lifetime movie set in a tiny house. After all, one of the great things about Lifetime films is that everyone, regardless of how poor or criminal they may be, usually lives in a large and tastefully furnished house. How, I wondered, would Lifetime handle setting a film in the type of house that is largely favored by retirees, hippies, and displaced persons?

Well, I’m glad to say that Lifetime handled it pretty well. Of course, they were clever enough not to set the entire film in a tiny house. There are several scenes that take place in a technologically advanced mansion and there are also several scenes that take place in Gravity Hill, a lovely little town where a magnetic field regularly plays havoc with electricity, cars, and cell phone reception. Tiny House of Terror was a surprisingly lovely film to look at. The small town was lovely. The scenes set in the big city were properly dark and menacing. The finale made great use of creepy shadow and light. Credited with cinematography is Jon Joffin and he certainly did a great job.

The film itself tells the story of Samantha (Francia Raisa), who was married to a tech billionaire named Kyle (Jesse Hutch). When Kyle disappears while climbing a mountain, Samantha is left distraught. Even worse, she finds herself a prisoner of her technologically advanced mansion, which was apparently designed to only recognize Kyle’s voice commands. (Imagine if Alexa suddenly got a passive aggressive attitude and you’ll understand what Samantha is going through.) It turns out that Kyle was planning on opening up a tiny house community in Gravity Hill. He was going to allow Samantha to do the landscaping. Only one tiny house has been built and Samantha decides to move out there, both for her own sanity and to complete Kyle’s final project.

Of course, things are never simple in Gravity Hill. It turns out that some people in town don’t want a tiny house community. No sooner has Samantha moved into her tiny house then strange things start to happen. Is it the magnetic field that’s making things (like kitchen knives) fly at Samantha or is something more sinister happening? Is Samantha being targeted and does it have anything to do with Kyle’s mysterious disappearance?

I liked Tiny House of Terror far more than I thought I would. Because it’s structured as a whodunit and there are a few flashbacks and time jumps, the film require a bit more concentration than the typical Lifetime film but that’s okay. It pays off in the end. Francia Raisa did a good job in the lead role, as did Nanzeen Contractor in the role of her sister. I may not care much about the tiny house movement but Tiny House of Terror not only held my interest but rewarded it as well.

What Lisa Watched Last Night #173: Blood, Sweat, and Lies (dir by Lane Shefter Bishop)

Posted on January 6, 2018 by Lisa Marie Bowman

On Friday night, I watched the first Lifetime film of 2018, Blood, Sweat, and Lies!

Why Was I Watching It?

I just told you. It was the first Lifetime film of 2018. There was no way I couldn’t watch it.

Of course, there was a slight conflict in that Blood, Sweat, and Lies premiered at the exact same time as the U.S. Figure Skating Championship. So, while Blood, Sweat, and Lies was originally airing, I was busy yelling at the judges for the way they treated Ashley Wagner. (Whatever controversy she may find herself in, I will always be on the side of Ashley Wagner.) However, as soon as the I finished yelling, I switched over to the DVR and I watched Blood, Sweat, and Lies.

What Was It About?

Once upon a time, Mel (Hannah Barefoot) was a college track star. In fact, she was such a committed athlete that she decided to major in something easy so she would have more time to run track. Apparently, in the weird, alternative universe that this film takes place in, art history is an easy major. However, Mel quickly fell in love with art and, when she graduated from college, she gave up athletics to become a curator. (“That’s all you can do with an art history degree,” she said with a laugh while I, the proud recipient of a degree in art history, tried to resist the temptation to throw a show at the TV.)

So now, Mel is a successful curator but she misses being an athlete. When she breaks up with her boyfriend, she decides to start a new chapter in her life. She joins the local gym. She gets a personal trainer named Trey (Adam Huber). Since this is a Lifetime movie, it takes Trey about 60 minutes to go from being a supportive nice guy to a full-on psycho stalker. When Mel starts dating a muscular art collector named Adam (Matt Cedeño), Trey is not happy…

What Worked?

I think the biggest mistake that anyone could make with Blood, Sweat, and Lie would be to take any of it too seriously. If you take the movie seriously, then you’ll probably complain that it was predictable, the plot was full of holes, and Mel should have known better than to have trusted Trey in the first place.

However, if you’re like me, you’ll assume that this film was meant to be at least a little bit satirical and you’ll find a lot to be amused by. For instance, consider the opening scene in which Mel is seen holding a knife and smearing what appears to be blood on her face. At first, we assume that she’s just a typical Lifetime movie psycho but it’s soon revealed that she’s actually just trying to make a cake.

Or how about the scene where Trey and Adam meet at the gym and proceed to exchange passive aggressive insults. That was like Overage Dudebros Gone Wild.

Or there’s Mel’s best friend, Leslie (Briana Lane), who is not only a brilliant hacker but who also apparently shares every single thought that pops into her head. Often times, I got the feeling that Leslie understood that she was just a character in a movie and she was actually pretty okay with that.

And, of course, there’s the scene where, while Mel and Adam make love, Trey sits in his office and monitors Mel’s heart rate. It was strange, wrong, weird, and hilarious all at the same time. And really, that’s pretty much a perfect description of the entire film. It was just so melodramatic and full of over the top emoting that it was hard not to find something about it to enjoy.

(Plus, while I was watching the movie, I came up with a drinking game where you take a drink every time Adam or Trey calls someone “bro.”)

What Did Not Work?

Art history is not an easy major! (Admittedly, it was easy for me but I understand that there were others who definitely found it a little bit difficult.)

And you can do a lot of stuff with an art history degree … well, maybe not a lot of stuff but definitely some stuff… Actually, I guess the film kind of has a point as far as that’s concerned. But still…!

“OMG! JUST LIKE ME!” Moments

Despite the fact that Mel and I were both art history majors, I actually found myself relating more to Leslie. This was largely because both Leslie and I tend to say, “O. M. G” in politic conversation.

Lessons Learned

Art history majors never get the respect they deserve.

Cleaning Out The DVR: The Bachelor Next Door (dir by Michael Feifer)

Posted on January 5, 2018 by Lisa Marie Bowman

(Hi there! So, as you may know because I’ve been talking about it on this site all year, I have got way too much stuff on my DVR. Seriously, I currently have 182 things recorded! I’ve decided that, on January 15th, I am going to erase everything on the DVR, regardless of whether I’ve watched it or not. So, that means that I’ve now have only have a month to clean out the DVR! Will I make it? Keep checking this site to find out! I recorded The Bachelor Next Door off of Lifetime Move Network on December 2nd, 2017!)

It’s time for yet another Lifetime film featuring Haylie Duff as a woman being menaced by a neighbor!

In this one, Haylie plays Alex. Alex is a painter who lives with her boyfriend, Gavin (Stephen Bruns). Alex hasn’t found much success as a painter but, fortunately, Gavin has one of those financial jobs where he spends all of his time talking about when the markets in London close. So, even though Alex hasn’t sold a painting in forever, she still gets to live in a really big and pretty house.

But then one day, that house nearly burns down! Fortunately, the new neighbor, Donnie (Michael Welch), just happens to notice that a fire has broken out in the kitchen so he runs over and he saves the day. Or, at the very least, Donnie claims that he just happened to notice the fire. Donnie seems to have some issues. He’s way too nice and way too quick to want to help out around Gavin and Alex’s house. Plus, sometimes he goes back to his own house and he throws a screaming fit. Again, Donnie would appear to have some issues. Still, Alex goes ahead and sets Donnie up with her sister, Sage (Brittany Underwood).

And for a while, it seems like everything’s just perfect. Sage and Donnie make for a really cute couple. Or at least they do until Donnie accidentally calls Sage by her sister’s name. Uh oh!

Meanwhile, Gavin keeps asking Alex to marry him and Alex keeps saying no. Alex says that she’s worried that, if she gets married, she’ll become complacent and boring and she’ll lose her edge as an artist. I have to say that this part of the movie was handled very well. Alex and Gavin seemed like a “real” couple and Haylie did a good job capturing all of Alex’s fears about commitment. I could relate to Alex and, as a result, I was more emotionally invested in her story than I am in the typical Lifetime movie.

Anyway, Gavin refuses to give up. He keeps asking her to marry him and when Alex finally says yes, everyone’s overjoyed. Except for Donnie…

And why should Donnie care? It all goes back to something that happened years ago. Donnie is not as much of a stranger as everyone initially thinks that he is…

The Bachelor Next Door was actually pretty good. I’ve gotten to the point where I really look forward to these Haylie-Duff-In-Danger Lifetime films. Haylie always does a really good job in these movies and, in The Bachelor Next Door, she ably supported by Michael Welch, Steve Bruns, and Brittany Underwood. The Bachelor Next Door has suspense, flashbacks, a great ending, and two great houses. What more could you ask for?