Melanie Gutteridge | Through the Shattered Lens

(Hi there! So, as you may know because I’ve been talking about it on this site all year, I have got way too much stuff on my DVR. Seriously, I currently have 163 things recorded! I’ve decided that, on February 15th, I am going to erase everything on the DVR, regardless of whether I’ve watched it or not. So, that means that I’ve now have only have a month to clean out the DVR! Will I make it? Keep checking this site to find out! I recorded The Watcher In The Woods off of Lifetime on October 21st, 2017!)

There’s something watching in the woods.

At the very least, that’s what Jan (Tallulah Evans) believes. Jan and her family are spending the summer in Wales, at the Aylwood Manor. From the minute that they move in, Jan starts to suspect that something is strange about the place. Sometimes, she thinks that she can hear whispers coming from the nearby woods. Her younger sister starts to act strangely. Their parents are convinced that Jan is just playing tricks and trying to frighten them. When Jan tries to find out more information about both the woods and her new home, she discovers that most of the people in the village don’t want to talk about it. Those that do speak to her tend to say things like, “Soon, you’ll be gone too.”

(Other than some shots of the beautiful countryside, I doubt this film will do much for Welsh tourism.)

And then there’s Mrs. Aylwood (Anjelica Huston), the mysterious and stand-offish owner of Aylwood Manor. Thirty years ago, her daughter disappeared in the woods. Most people in the village believe that Mrs. Aylwood murdered her own daughter. At first, Jan suspects that she’s a witch and that she not only sacrificed her daughter but now wants to sacrifice Jan’s sister as well!

Of course, the truth might be something altogether different. It’s not always so easy to tell who is a witch and who is just a grieving mother. The only thing that Jan knows for sure is that there’s something in the woods and it’s watching…

I have to admit that the main reason I wanted to see The Watcher In The Woods was because it was directed by Melissa Joan Hart and she’ll always be Sabrina, the Teenage Witch to me. (Don’t start yelling at me about God’s Not Dead 2. Actors have bills to pay and Melissa gave about as good a performance as anyone could with that script.) Hart does a pretty good job directing The Watcher In The Woods. It’s not particularly scary but, for all the talk of witches and demons, it’s not really meant to be a horror film. Instead, it’s a coming-of-age story with paranormal elements. Jan not only learns about what’s watching in the woods but she also learns an important lesson about assuming that people are witches. And, even if it’s not really a scary movie, it does have some appropriately creepy scenes. The woods are a great location and there’s a scene where Jan nearly downs that’s especially well-handled. The film is also well-acted, with a natural and believable performance from Tallulah Evans and an enjoyably stylized one from Anjelica Huston.

All in all, The Watcher in The Woods was an enjoyable October treat.

Am I the only person in the world who likes the 2002 British horror film, Long Time Dead?

I sometimes think that I may be. Whenever I mention the film to anyone, they either say they’ve never heard of it or they kind of roll their eyes. I have yet to read a positive review online. Long Time Dead has only got a 4.9 rating at the imdb, which is saying something because usually even the worst of films can still manage to score at least a 6.0.

So, I guess it’s true. I guess only I like Long Time Dead.

Now, I should clarify that, just because I like a movie, that doesn’t necessarily mean that it’s very good. Long Time Dead is definitely a flawed film. This is one of those films where an evil spirit — in this case, a fire demon known as a djinn — pursues a group of friends, killing them one-by-one. There are eight friends, which seems to be a bit excessive for a 94 minute film. We’re never quite sure how all of these characters got to know each other in the first place. Some of them appear to be college students. Four of them share a flat. Another one lives on a boat. And as for the other three, they appear to all live in the same building but still, you’re never really sure how everyone is related.

What’s odd is that we only really get to know five of the eight characters, which again leads the viewer to wonder why we needed the other three. We know that Spencer (James Hillier) is perpetually stoned and that all of this is kind of his fault because he’s the one who suggested that the group should use a Ouija board to try to contact a spirit. We know that his girlfriend, Lucy (Marsha Thomason), knows about the supernatural and, for some reason, lives on a boat. We know that Liam (Alec Newman) was traumatized when his father murdered his mother. We know that Liam’s girlfriend, Annie (Melanie Gutteridge), has asthma. We know that Rob (Joe Absolom) appears to be a nice guy. And then there’s Webster (Lukas Haas), Stella (Lara Belmont), and Joe (Mel Raido), who don’t really have any reason for being in the movie.

(Seriously, what is respected Texas character actor and friend-of-Leonardo-DiCaprio Lukas Haas doing in a low-budget British horror film?)

At first, we’re led to believe that the djinn is killing people because it’s upset that it was dragged out of its world by the Ouija board. But, as the film progresses, we learn that the djinn has a personal score to settle with one of his potential victims. We also learn that someone may or may not be possessed by the djinn. It’s all a bit too much to keep track of. I’ve read rumors that Long Time Dead was a difficult production and the fact that the film has seven credited writers might provide a clue as to why the film is such a narrative mess.

And yet, despite all of that, I still like Long Time Dead.

Why?

The reason is very simple.

The movie scared me.

Maybe it was because I was watching it late at night and I had the lights out or maybe it was because, as an asthmatic, I related to poor Annie but Long Time Dead scared the Hell out of me the first time I saw it. Not only is the film full of effective jump scenes but the djinn is a terrifying monster. He’s relentless, ruthless, and merciless. I think what truly scared me is that the djinn would attack anyone anywhere. There was literally nowhere that you could hide from it.

Long Time Dead is no classic but it still made me scream.