Guilty Horror Pleasure #87: The ‘Burbs (dir by Joe Dante)


1989’s The ‘Burbs takes place in …. well, it’s right there in the title.

Welcome to the suburbs!  It’s place with big houses, green lawns, and neighbors who often don’t have much to do other than watch each other and gossip.  Ray Peterson (Tom Hanks) lives with his wife, Carol (Carrie Fisher), and is friends with Art Weingartner (Rick Ducommun) and Mark Rumsfield (Bruce Dern).  Ricky Butler (Corey Feldman) is the local teenager.  It’s a nice neighborhood …. at least, until the Klopeks move in.

The Klopeks are viewed with suspicion from the minute they show up.  They’re from a different country, they always seem to be burying something in their backyard, and Dr. Werner Klopek (Henry Gibson) is oddly stand-offish.  When Walter Seznick (Gale Gordon) disappears and the the Klopeks are seen around Walter’s house and with Walter’s dog, Ray and his friends start to suspect that their new neighbors might be ritualistic murderers!

Oh, how I love The ‘Burbs.  The film’s portrait of the suburbs as being a hotbed of paranoia may be a familiar one but it doesn’t matter when you’ve got actors like Tom Hanks and Bruce Dern throwing themselves into their roles.  As always, Hanks is the glue that holds the film and its disparate parts together, giving a likable performance as a man who goes from being the voice of reason to being convinced that his neighbors are cannibals.  Bruce Dern gleefully sends up his own image as a paranoid Vietnam vet but there’s also a sweetness to Dern’s performance that really makes it stand out.  Dern’s character might be a little crazy but he does truly care about his neighbors.

Just as he did with Piranha and The Howling, Dante balances humor with suspense.  He does such a good job of telling the story and getting good performances from his cast, that even the film’s big twist works far better than one might expect.  It’s an 80s film so, of course, a few things explode towards the end of it.  The film’s character-based humor is replaced with some broader jokes but no matter.  The Burbs is an entertaining trip to the heart of suburban paranoia.

As the saying goes, just because you’re paranoid, that doesn’t mean that they aren’t out to get you.

Previous Guilty Pleasures

  1. Half-Baked
  2. Save The Last Dance
  3. Every Rose Has Its Thorns
  4. The Jeremy Kyle Show
  5. Invasion USA
  6. The Golden Child
  7. Final Destination 2
  8. Paparazzi
  9. The Principal
  10. The Substitute
  11. Terror In The Family
  12. Pandorum
  13. Lambada
  14. Fear
  15. Cocktail
  16. Keep Off The Grass
  17. Girls, Girls, Girls
  18. Class
  19. Tart
  20. King Kong vs. Godzilla
  21. Hawk the Slayer
  22. Battle Beyond the Stars
  23. Meridian
  24. Walk of Shame
  25. From Justin To Kelly
  26. Project Greenlight
  27. Sex Decoy: Love Stings
  28. Swimfan
  29. On the Line
  30. Wolfen
  31. Hail Caesar!
  32. It’s So Cold In The D
  33. In the Mix
  34. Healed By Grace
  35. Valley of the Dolls
  36. The Legend of Billie Jean
  37. Death Wish
  38. Shipping Wars
  39. Ghost Whisperer
  40. Parking Wars
  41. The Dead Are After Me
  42. Harper’s Island
  43. The Resurrection of Gavin Stone
  44. Paranormal State
  45. Utopia
  46. Bar Rescue
  47. The Powers of Matthew Star
  48. Spiker
  49. Heavenly Bodies
  50. Maid in Manhattan
  51. Rage and Honor
  52. Saved By The Bell 3. 21 “No Hope With Dope”
  53. Happy Gilmore
  54. Solarbabies
  55. The Dawn of Correction
  56. Once You Understand
  57. The Voyeurs 
  58. Robot Jox
  59. Teen Wolf
  60. The Running Man
  61. Double Dragon
  62. Backtrack
  63. Julie and Jack
  64. Karate Warrior
  65. Invaders From Mars
  66. Cloverfield
  67. Aerobicide 
  68. Blood Harvest
  69. Shocking Dark
  70. Face The Truth
  71. Submerged
  72. The Canyons
  73. Days of Thunder
  74. Van Helsing
  75. The Night Comes for Us
  76. Code of Silence
  77. Captain Ron
  78. Armageddon
  79. Kate’s Secret
  80. Point Break
  81. The Replacements
  82. The Shadow
  83. Meteor
  84. Last Action Hero
  85. Attack of the Killer Tomatoes
  86. The Horror At 37,000 Feet

Horror on TV: Halloween Is Grinch Night (dir by Gerard Baldwin)


So, we all know that the Grinch once tried to steal to Christmas and then his heart grew a few sizes but did you know that apparently, the Grinch also tried to steal Halloween?

Until about 9 years ago, I did not.  I was going through YouTube, searching for horror films that I could share here on the Shattered Lens, and guess what I came across?

A TV special from 1977 entitled Halloween is Grinch Night!

Unlike How The Grinch Stole Christmas, Halloween is Grinch Night apparently never became a holiday classic.  Perhaps that’s because Halloween is Grinch Night is not exactly the most heart-warming of holiday specials.  Whereas How The Grinch Stole Christmas tells us about how the Grinch learned the true meaning of Christmas, Halloween is Grinch Night gives us a Grinch who has no redeeming features.  There is no hope for this Grinch.  This Grinch will steal your soul and probably drink your blood.  This Grinch is pure Grinchy evil.

This is the Grinch of our nightmares.

Check out Halloween is Grinch Night below and hope the Grinch doesn’t capture you this Halloween….

Horror On TV: The Halloween That Almost Wasn’t (dir by Bruce Bilson)


Oh no!  Halloween might be canceled because people just aren’t scared of the old monsters!  Dracula (Judd Hirsch) calls all of the classic creatures to a meeting in his castle (where they all happen to be freeloading) and give them an ultimatum.  Be more scary!  It turns out to be easier said than done.

This originally aired in 1979 but, for people of a certain age, it achieved a certain immortality thanks to regular airings on the Disney Channel.  It’s a cute show.  It might seem a little bit corny today but that’s a large part of its appeal.  It’s a reminder of a more innocent time.

Warren the Werewolf, by the way, was named after Warren “Werewolves of London” Zevon.

The Unnominated #10: The Long Goodbye (dir by Robert Altman)


Though the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences claim that the Oscars honor the best of the year, we all know that there are always worthy films and performances that end up getting overlooked.  Sometimes, it’s because the competition too fierce.  Sometimes, it’s because the film itself was too controversial.  Often, it’s just a case of a film’s quality not being fully recognized until years after its initial released.  This series of reviews takes a look at the films and performances that should have been nominated but were, for whatever reason, overlooked.  These are the Unnominated.

Elliott Gould is Phillip Marlowe!

If I had to pick one sentence to describe the plot of 1973’s The Long Goodbye, that would be it.  Robert Altman’s adaptation of the Raymond Chandler detective novel loosely follows Chandler’s original plot, though Altman did definitely make a few important changes.  Altman moved the story from the 50s to the then-modern 70s, replacing Chandler’s hard-boiled Los Angeles with a satirical portrait of a self-obsessed California, populated by gurus and hippies.  And Altman did change the ending of the book, taking what one could argue is a firmer stand than Chandler did in the novel.  In the end, though, the film really is about the idea of Chandler’s tough detective being reimagined as Elliott Gould.

Rumpled, mumbling, and with a permanent five o’clock shadow, Gould plays Marlowe as being an outsider.  He lives in a shabby apartment.  His only companion is a cat who randomly abandons him (as cats tend to do).  With his wardrobe that seems to consist of only one dark suit, Marlowe seems out-of-place in the California of the 70s.  When Marlowe’s friend, Terry Lennox (Jim Bouton), asks Marlowe to drive him to Mexico, one gets the feeling that Lennox isn’t just asking because Marlowe’s a friend.  He’s asking because he suspects Marlowe would never be a good enough detective to figure out what he’s actually doing.

After Terry’s wife is murdered, Marlowe is informed that 1) Terry has committed suicide and 2) Marlowe is now a suspect.  Convinced that Terry would have never killed himself, Marlowe investigates on his own.  He meets Marty Augustine (Mark Rydell), a gangster who demands that Marlowe recover some money that he claims Terry stole.  Marty seems like an almost reasonable criminal until he smashes a coke bottle across his girlfriend’s face.  (One of Marty’s bodyguards is played by a silent Arnold Schwarzenegger.)  Meanwhile, Terry’s neighbors include an alcoholic writer named Roger Wade (Sterling Hayden) and his wife, Eileen (Nina van Pallandt).  Like Marlowe, Roger is a man out-of-time, a Hemingwayesque writer who has found himself in a world that he is not capable of understanding.  Henry Gibson, who would later memorably play Haven Hamilton in Altman’s Nashville, appears as Wade’s “doctor.”

Marlowe, with his shabby suits and a cigarette perpetually dangling from his mouth, gets next to no respect throughout the film.  No one takes him seriously but Marlowe proves himself to be far more clever than anyone realizes.  Elliott Gould gives one of his best performances as Marlowe, playing him as a man whose befuddled exterior hides a clear sense of right and wrong.  Gould convinces us that Marlowe is a man who can solve the most complex of mysteries, even if he can’t figure out where his cat goes to in the middle of the night.  His code makes him a hero but it also makes him an outsider in what was then the modern world.  The film asks if there’s still a place for a man like Phillip Marlowe in a changing world and it leaves it to us to determine the answer.

Frequently funny but ultimately very serious, The Long Goodbye is one of the best detective films ever made.  Just as Altman did with McCabe & Mrs. Miller, he uses the past to comment on what was then the present.  And, just as with McCabe & Mrs. Miller, The Long Goodbye is a film that was initially released to mixed reviews, though it would later be acclaimed by future viewers and critics.  Whereas McCabe & Mrs. Miller received an Oscar nomination for Julie Christie’s performance as Mrs. Miller, The Long Goodbye was thoroughly snubbed by the Academy.  Altman, Gould, Hayden, and the film itself were all worthy of consideration but none received a nomination.  Instead, that year, the Oscar for Best Picture went to The Sting, a far less cynical homage to the crime films of the past.

The Long Goodbye (1973, directed by Robert Altman)

Previous entries in The Unnominated:

  1. Auto Focus 
  2. Star 80
  3. Monty Python and The Holy Grail
  4. Johnny Got His Gun
  5. Saint Jack
  6. Office Space
  7. Play Misty For Me
  8. The Long Riders
  9. Mean Streets

Song of the Day: 200 Years by Henry Gibson


Today’s song of the day comes from the soundtrack of Robert Altman’s 1975 masterpiece, Nashville.

Written and performed by Henry Gibson (who played the role of Haven Hamilton in Altman’s film), 200 Years was meant to be a satire of patriotic country music.  But apparently, Gibson did such a good job capturing the feel of those songs that several patriotic singing groups actually added 200 Years to their repertoire.

Myself, I find the song to be just as heavy-handed in its satire as the song itself is meant to be heavy-handed in its patriotism.  But, perhaps that’s the point.  It’s definitely effective in its way and it certainly fits in with Altman’s stylized portrayal of American culture.  I guess this song is a real Rorschach test.  Some will see it as a commentary on jingoism.  Others will hear it and say, “He’s right, we must be doing something right.”

My mother’s people came by ship
And fought at Bunker Hill
My daddy lost a leg in France
I have his medal still
My brother served with Patton
I saw action in Algiers
Oh we must be doin’ somethin’ right
To last 200 years.‎

I pray my sons won’t go to war
But if they must, they must
I share our country’s motto
And in God I place my trust
We may have had our ups and downs
Our times of trials and fears
But we must be doin’ somethin’ right
To last 200 years.‎

I’ve lived through two depressions
And seven Dust Bowl droughts
Floods, locusts and tornadoes
But I don’t have any doubts
We’re all a part of history
Why Old Glory waves to show
How far along we’ve come ’til now
How far we’ve got to go.‎

It’s been hard work but every time
We get into a fix
Let’s think of what our children faced
In two – ought – seven – six
It’s up to us, to pave the way
With our blood and sweat and tears
For we must be doin’ somethin’ right
To last 200 years.‎

Lyrics: Henry Gibson

Bonus Horror On TV: The Halloween That Almost Wasn’t (dir by Bruce Bilson)


Oh no!  Halloween might be canceled because people just aren’t scared of the old monsters!  Dracula (Judd Hirsch) calls all of the classic creatures to a meeting in his castle (where they all happen to be freeloading) and give them an ultimatum.  Be more scary!  It turns out to be easier said than done.

This originally aired in 1979 but, for people of a certain age, it achieved a certain immortality thanks to regular airings on the Disney Channel.  It’s a cute show.  It might seem a little bit corny today but that’s a large part of its appeal.  It’s a reminder of a more innocent time.

Warren the Werewolf, by the way, was named after Warren “Werewolves of London” Zevon.

Bonus Horror on TV: Halloween Is Grinch Night (dir by Gerard Baldwin)


So, we all know that the Grinch once tried to steal to Christmas and then his heart grew a few sizes but did you know that apparently, the Grinch also tried to steal Halloween?

Until a few years ago, I did not.  I was going through YouTube, searching for horror films that I could share here on the Shattered Lens, and guess what I came across?

A TV special from 1977 entitled Halloween is Grinch Night!

Unlike How The Grinch Stole Christmas, Halloween is Grinch Night apparently never became a holiday classic.  Perhaps that’s because Halloween is Grinch Night is not exactly the most heart-warming of holiday specials.  Whereas How The Grinch Stole Christmas tells us about how the Grinch learned the true meaning of Christmas, Halloween is Grinch Night gives us a Grinch who has no redeeming features.  There is no hope for this Grinch.  This Grinch will steal your soul and probably drink your blood.  This Grinch is pure Grinchy evil.

This is the Grinch of our nightmares.

Check out Halloween is Grinch Night below and hope the Grinch doesn’t capture you this Halloween….

Scenes I Love: Julie Christie Meets Connie White In Nashville


In this scene from Robert Altman’s 1975 masterpiece, Nashville, Julie Christie plays herself as a famous visitor to the city for which the film is named.  She is introduced to Haven Hamilton (Henry Gibson), Haven’s lawyer, Delbert Reese (Ned Beatty), political advance man John Triplette (Michael Murphy), and country music star Connie White (Karen Black).  Julie Christie may be a star in Hollywood but Connie is the star of Nashville.

Karen Black, who was born on this date in 1939, improvised her dismissive line about Julie Christine not even being able to comb her hair.  It was a moment that reportedly shocked the rest of the cast and the crew but it was also a line that perfectly summed up both Connie as a character and Altman’s version of Nashville.

Retro Television Reviews: Half Nelson Episode 1.5 “Diplomatic Immunity”


Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a new feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Fridays, I will be reviewing Half Nelson, which ran on NBC from March to May of 1985. Almost all nine of the show’s episodes can be found on YouTube!

L.A. …. you belong to me….

Episode 1.5 “Diplomatic Immunity”

(Dir by Alan Cooke, Originally aired on April 12th, 1985)

Somebody is stealing luxury cars in Beverly Hills!  Detective Hamill (Gary Grubbs) is pretty sure that he’s caught the responsible party, a teenager who was seen near one of the cars when it was taken.  The teenager, who is in danger of losing his athletic scholarship, insists that he was just thinking about stealing the car but he didn’t actually do it.  Instead, the car was stolen by some guy who arrived on the scene via a limousine.  Why would a car thief be getting transported around in a limo?

That’s what Rocky Nelson (Joe Pesci) wants to find out!  Just as in the previous episodes, everyone tells Rocky to not get involved.  The police tell Rocky to stay out of the way.  Rocky’s boss, Chester (Fred Williamson), tells him that it’s not his concern.  Rocky’s landlord, Mr. Martin (Dean Martin), stops by the guesthouse to use Rocky’s phone and, though he doesn’t say not to get involved, it’s still pretty obvious that Dean Martin doesn’t care about the car thieves.

Only Rocky cares!  Actually, Kurt (Bubba Smith) and Beau (Dick Butkus) care as well.  In fact, in this episode, Kurt and Beau get almost as much screen time as Rocky.  They follow Rocky around, hoping to learn how to become better detectives.  As critical as I can sometimes be of Dick Butkus’s character on Hang Time, he was actually pretty funny on Half Nelson.  He and Bubba Smith made a good comedy team and they seem to be having so much fun together that it makes up for the fact that neither one of them had much range as an actor.  For instance, when Rocky goes to Beverly Hills High School to do some investigating, Kurt and Beau follow him.  Kurt and Beau claim to be two new teachers at the school.  “We got traded to this school from Harvard,” Beau says before Kurt explains that they got traded for another teacher and several draft picks.  It’s a dumb joke but Butkus and Smith sell it with their enthusiasm.

Eventually, Rocky figures out that the car theft ring is being led by a diplomat (John Saxon) from Central America.  Saxon pretends to be collecting money for charity but he’s actually just stealing cars and smuggling them out of the country.   Rocky’s investigative techniques are not particularly complex.  He “borrows” an expensive car from the studio and then hides in the trunk with his pitbull, Hunk.  When Saxon’s henchman (Lewis van Bergen) steals the car, Rocky and Hunk jump into action.  Hunk cripples the thief by biting his ankle and then Rocky and his dog run away as the car explodes.  “Run, Hunk, run!” Rocky yells.

Rocky, Kurt, and Beau manage to catch Saxon right before he boards a plane to leave the country.  The teenager is freed from jail.  As he leaves his cell, he complains about the incompetence of the cops.  Rocky yells at him for being disrespectful.  It’s the best scene in the show, just because it feels spontaneous.  It’s almost as if Pesci himself suddenly got mad and started yelling at the kid.

Rocky, Amanda (Victoria Jackson, who has been underused in every episode, with the exception of the pilot), and the rest of the Beverly Hills Security team throws a birthday party for Chester.  Dean Martin does not show up.  The end credits roll.

Half Nelson‘s main weakness is that, despite having an once-in-a-lifetime cast, the plots tend to feel somewhat generic.  It just doesn’t feel right to have actors like Joe Pesci, Fred Williamson, Dean Martin, and even Dick Butkus and Bubba Smith dealing with the type of boring cases that any 80s TV detective could have solved.  That said, compared to the previous episodes of Half Nelson that I’ve watched, this episode was okay.  Pesci got to show off his streetwise attitude and, as always, he seemed to be happiest when acting opposite Dean Martin.  John Saxon was stuck playing a one-note villain but it’s still always enjoyable to watch Saxon as he plots to do something bad.  This episode was enjoyable if not exactly memorable.

Horror On TV: The Halloween That Almost Wasn’t (dir by Bruce Bilson)


Oh no!  Halloween might be canceled because people just aren’t scared of the old monsters!  Dracula (Judd Hirsch) calls all of the classic creatures to a meeting in his castle (where they all happen to be freeloading) and give them an ultimatum.  Be more scary!  It turns out to be easier said than done.

This originally aired in 1979 but, for people of a certain age, it achieved a certain immortality thanks to regular airings on the Disney Channel.  It’s a cute show.  It might seem a little bit corny today but that’s a large part of its appeal.  It’s a reminder of a more innocent time.

Warren the Werewolf, by the way, was named after Warren “Werewolves of London” Zevon.