What Lisa Watched Last Night: The Golden Globe Awards

Posted on January 17, 2011 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Last night, I watched the annual Golden Globe Awards show.

Why Was I Watching It?

Well, I wasn’t watching it because I was expecting to see the best films and tv shows of the last year recognized. The Golden Globes are notorious for being odd and anyone who takes them too seriously needs to relax a little. The appeal of the Golden Globes is that 1) it recognizes both television and film in the same ceremony which means you get to see unexpected sights like Jim Parsons, Robert De Niro, Johnny Depp, and the cast of Glee all in the same auditorium, 2) drinks are served throughout the ceremony which means that everyone’s pretty drunk by the end of it, and 3) you can make fun of what everyone’s wearing.

What’s It About?

As the show’s host, Ricky Gervais pointed out while commenting on the odd nomination of The Tourist for Best Picture (Comedy), the show is mostly about the shadowy members of the Hollywood Foreign Press Association getting a chance to hang out with people like Angelina Jolie and Johnny Depp. And who can blame them, really? Quite honestly, if it meant I might get a chance to spend a night with Johnny Depp (or, I’ll admit it, Angelia Jolie), I’m more than willing to love The Tourist too.

What Worked

Oh my God, it was such an odd three hours. While the winners were kinda predictable and boring (how excited can you get — at this point — to see The Social Network win awards) and showed the typical tendency towards embracing the safe over the unpredictable, Ricky Gervais kept things lively. He hosted with an attitude that basically said, “My career doesn’t need your approval so fuck off, Hollywood.” It also pretty much guaranteed that Gervais will never host the Oscars. My favorite Gervais moment came early when he made the comment about secretly gay Scientologists (an obvious reference to Tom Cruise and maybe John Travolta). The way the audience gasped pretty much told you all you needed to know as far as the truth behind the joke was concerned.

Robert De Niro won the DeMille Award and gave a speech that revealed that he’s actually a human being and apparently, a somewhat bitter one at that. Also, I simply have to mention that Robert De Niro is aging really well. As opposed to…oh, I don’t know…Al Pacino, maybe?

Melissa Leo is one of my favorites actresses and it was nice to see her rewarded for The Fighter but her speech did go on and on and the only thing that saved the moment was that some genius in the control booth decided to cut to Helena Bonham Carter who had the coolest “What the fuck?” look on her face.

Angelina Jolie’s green dress was quite simply to die for and I want it because it’s the same color as my right eye. So, I’ll repeat the offer that I made earlier on twitter: whoever gets me this dress (by whatever means) can watch while I try it on and take it off. (That’s a joke, by the way! Seriously though, I so want that dress. Except, of course, I’d want to have Hello Kitty on it somewhere…)

Natalie Portman won best actress in a drama and, out of all the awards given last night, that’s really the only one I agreed with. When Portman’s name was announced, my twitter friend Jason Tarwater asked if I was doing cartwheels. Well, I didn’t do cartwheels but I did attempt to do a pirouette and wow, that was a mistake because I so twisted my ankle the wrong way and ended up in really intense pain. So, I missed Natalie’s speech but I bet it was great.

I do like the way that the Golden Globes divide their awards into a drama and a comedy section. It’s a smart idea, I think.

What Didn’t Work?

I’m not going to complain about The Social Network winning most of the awards. It’s not a bad film, at all. It’s just not the great movie that so many critics are insisting that it is. At this point, I’m not so much anti-Social Network as much as I’m just bored with it.

Al Pacino’s a great actor but seriously, I hit mute any time he wins an award. And, seriously, would it kill him to wash his hair or something before he shows up for an awards ceremony?

Justin Bieber came out and gave an award or something and I’m sorry — he’s creepy. I mean, like David Archuletta creepy. Plus, I always have to go to Wikipedia to find out whether the i or the e comes first whenever I’m trying to type out the name “Bieber”. I mean, I’m only 25 and this little punk and his fans are making me feel like an old woman complaining about “kids today.” NOT COOL, BIEBER!

Aaron Sorkin won for his overrated screenplay and I guess he’s aware that he’s got an image problem because he tried so hard to be gracious but it was kinda like when James Cameron tried to be gracious while promoting Avatar. It just didn’t work. The more humble Sorkin tried to be, the more he came across like a prick. The final insult came when he thanked the best actress nominees for being “smart” women as if that’s such an unusual thing to be. I’m assuming this was Sorkin’s attempt to show that he’s not a sexist pig but it just came across as condescending and fake. It’s interesting to contrast Sorkin’s speech with David Fincher’s speech. Fincher was far more gracious and, quite frankly, the only reason that Sorkin’s screenplay came close to working was because, as a director, Fincher kept things visually interesting so you didn’t really spend too much time thinking about how every single character in the entire freakin’ movie sounded exactly like Aaron Sorkin. Seriously, does Sorkin know anyone who doesn’t talk like him?

Was it just me or did producer Scott Rudin — while accepting best picture for The Social Network — almost seem as if he had to be reminded to thank Fincher? It’s interesting that, for all the acclaim Social Network and Sorkin have gotten, Fincher has often come close to being forgotten. Could it be because Sorkin is a card-carrying member of the Hollywood establishment while Fincher, much like Fighter’s David O. Russell and Black Swan’s Darren Aronofsky, is not?

Finally, the first winner of the night was Christian Bale. Was he deliberately trying to channel Colin Farrell last night or was it just an accident? Regardless, when it comes Colin Farrell, I prefer the real thing.

“Oh my God! Just Like Me” Moment

: “I’ll show you a pair of golden globes!”

Lessons Learned

As excited as I’ll be if Natalie Portman wins an Oscar for best actress, I will force myself not to dance.

A Quickie With Lisa Marie: The King’s Speech (directed by Tom Hooper)

Posted on December 20, 2010 by Lisa Marie Bowman

So, I was talking to a friend of mine about the movie The King’s Speech and I told him that the movie was very good but that it managed to “raccoon eye me.” He found this comment to be very humorous. In fact, he could not stop laughing at me. Finally, I got him to stop giggling long enough to explain to me what exactly was so funny about me crying for 2 hour and 13 minutes. At that point, he explained to me what “raccoon eyes” means to him and apparently every other boy on the planet and all I can say is “ewwwwww!” Seriously, I’m open to just about anything but….uhmm, no. Sorry, no.

Anyway, when I say that The King’s Speech left me all “raccoon-eyed,” I’m referring to the fact that I started crying about 3 minutes into the film — basically from the first minute that a frightened-looking Colin Firth tried to speak into a microphone — and I didn’t stop until the movie was over.

Why was I crying? A lot of it is because (and I know I say this about almost every movie I see but so what?) I related to the film’s subject matter. Colin Firth plays the future King George VI (father of the current Queen of England). Like millions of others (myself included), George VI spoke with a stutter. Ordinarily this wouldn’t have been a problem (as royalty wasn’t necessarily meant to be seen or heard) but George VI just happens to become king at a time when almost every household has a radio and everyone expects to hear the king’s voice. In short, the people expect the king to not only speak for them but to speak with them as well and George VI finds himself unable to even speak for himself, much less his nation. As a result, his wife (Helena Bonham Carter) secretly arranges for the king to receive help from an eccentric, self-trained speech therapist named Lionel Logue (Geoffrey Rush). The film details the King and Logue’s often contentious friendship, following their relationship up until George VI finds himself, in the days after the start of World War II, required to give the most important speech of his life.

To a certain extent, you’re going to have to take it on faith that The King’s Speech is a very intelligent, very funny, and very entertaining film because there’s no way to describe the film’s general plot without making it sound like one of those really tedious, boring films that always come out in December. However, director Tom Hooper takes material that might otherwise have been dry and predictable and he films it with a surprising flair so that even the most predictable of scenes (i.e., the King and Logue get inebriated together and the King talks about the loneliness of being royal) feel fresh and surprising. This a film that is both interesting to look at and listen to. Hooper recreates an often foggy, pre-World War II London using a palette of grays and faded primaries. As a result, the film somehow manages to be both melancholy and nostalgic at the same time. You marvel at the recreation of the past even with the knowledge that everything’s going to be destroyed in another few years by the onslaught of world war.

Hooper gets uniformly excellent performances from his entire cast. Rush is eccentric without being overly flamboyant and a result, his performance never descends into the cutesy tricks that have marred so many of his recent onscreen turns. Bonham Carter, as well, gives one of her most sympathetic performances, suggesting the class of royalty with just enough hint of the off-center persona that made her the perfect Marla Singer.

However, the film ultimately belongs to Colin Firth. After years of playing upper class idiots and tragically repressed company men, Firth finally gets to play a human being. It’s a tribute to his talent that he manages to be believable as both “Bertie,” the insecure Duke of York and as the man Bertie will eventually become, King George VI. The reason I cried through this film is not just because I used to (and occasionally still do) stutter. The reason was because Firth captured the essence of having so much to say but not feeling as if you’ll ever be allowed to say it. Everything Firth does in this film — whether he’s losing his temper over Lionel’s attempts to get him to open up or sadly trying to tell his daughters a joke or joyfully shouting out every piece of profanity he can think of because he doesn’t stutter while being profane — is perfection. I hate to say that any one was born to play a role (because I think it tends to devalue just how much effort goes into good acting) but it’s hard to escape the feeling that everything Firth has ever done on-screen was simply preparing both him and us for his triumphant performance here.

At the same time, I should add that The King’s Speech is probably the most English (as opposed to British) that I have ever seen. Lionel may question why George VI’s royal duties lead him to suffer but he never once questions whether or not those royal duties are actually necessary. Furthermore, the film also tells the tale of Edward VIII (a wonderfully narcissistic turn from Guy Pearce) and his famous abdication from the British throne so that he could be with “the woman I love,” American Wallis Simpson (played by Nurse Jackie’s Eve Best with a permanent scowl). The film presents Edward and Simpson with absolutely zero sympathy and leaves little doubt that the last thing a member of the British Royal Family should ever do is fall in love with a divorced American.

(That said, the film is probably correct when it suggests that Simpson and Edward were sympathetic to the Nazi cause.)

It says something about the three lead performances and the strength of Hooper’s direction that even I — proud as I am of my roots in Catholic Northern Ireland — still loved this film despite its obvious pro-English bias.

After the movie ended and I had finally managed to stop crying and clean my face, I found myself reflecting on the fact that I feel as if I know so much about the British Royal Family and yet everything I know about them comes from going to the movies. As far as the cinematic family history is concerned, The King’s Speech is the best chapter yet.

Hey SAG! Where’s Jacki?

Posted on December 16, 2010 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Is there any organization out there right now that isn’t handing out either awards or nominations? Earlier today, The members of the Screen Actors Guild became the latest organization to join in the fun when they announced their nominations for the best film performances of 2010.

Here’s the nominees. I apologize, in advance, for the lack of sarcastic commentary but I have a headache and, as a result, my wit is sleeping on the couch for now.

Ensemble:
Black Swan
The Fighter
The Kids Are All Right
The King’s Speech
The Social Network

Actress, Lead:
Annette Bening, The Kids Are All Right
Nicole Kidman, Rabbit Hole
Jennifer Lawrence, Winter’s Bone
Natalie Portman, Black Swan
Hilary Swank, Conviction

Actor, Motion Picture
Jeff Bridges, True Grit
Robert Duvall, Get Low
Jesse Eisenberg, The Social Network
Colin Firth, The King’s Speech
James Franco, 127 Hours

Supporting Actor
Christian Bale, The Fighter
John Hawkes, Winter’s Bone
Jeremy Renner, The Town
Mark Ruffalo, The Kids Are All Right
Geoffrey Rush, The King’s Speech

Actress, Supporting
Amy Adams, The Fighter
Helena Bonham Carter, The King’s Speech
Mila Kunis, Black Swan
Melissa Leo, The Fighter
Hailee Steinfeld, True Grit

Well, okay, maybe I’ll make a few comments along the lines of “Yay for the love shown to Natalie Portman, John Hawkes, James Franco, Jennifer Lawrence, and Mila Kunis!”

But seriously, SAG, where’s Animal Kingdom’s Jacki Weaver? I mean, I can understand why Noomi Rapace was snubbed. The Mainstream doesn’t want to remind people that there was a perfect Lisbeth Salander before Rooney Mara. That’s how the game is played. That’s why the people over at awardsdaily.com are already trying to claim David Fincher’s remake of The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo as the film to beat for best picture next year.

But nobody’s remaking Animal Kingdom. There’s nothing wrong with admitting that, in a year of excellent female performances, few were as a note perfect and unexpected as Jacki Weaver’s.