Tag Archives: Film

Film Review: Resident Evil: Afterlife (Dir. by Paul W.S. Anderson)

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Last Friday, I saw the latest Resident Evil film — Resident Evil: Afterlife.

What can I say about Resident Evil: Afterlife?  I’ve been trying to figure that out for two days now.  For obvious reasons, this movie — like the other Resident Evil films — is just a video game put up on screen.  The film is a collection of set pieces that are all built around various characters having to complete tasks in a certain amount of time.  You can almost imagine various instructions popping up on the screen: “Clear the roof so that Alice can land her plane.”  “Swim through the basement to get the weapons cache.”  “Reach The Underground Tunnel Before The Building Explodes.”    In the lead role of Alice, Mila Jovovich still can’t act and director Paul W. S. Anderson still seems to believe that any cinematic weaknesses can be covered up by slow motion.

(By the way, there’s a chance that you might see the name Paul W. S. Anderson in the opening credits and you might say something like, “I guess he has to make movies like this so he can make movies like There Will Be Blood.”  Do not say this out loud because, while it’s totally understandable that you might be hyperactive and therefore, you sometimes say the first thing that pops into your head or maybe  you just sometimes get in a kinda ditzy state of mind and you might just happen to forget that Paul W. S. Anderson is not Paul Thomas Anderson, the people you saw the movie with will still be making fun of you at least two days later.)

This is the type of movie that critics hate and that , all things considered, I should probably hate too.  After all, I’ve devoted a lot of time and energy to criticizing Avatar for having a predictable plot.  So, how can I not hate a film, like Resident Evil: Afterlife, that doesn’t even have a plot to begin with?

Well, I didn’t hate Resident Evil: Afterlife.  I certainly didn’t love it and I think that it’s a total failure of as a zombie film (but then again, we all know the Resident Evil films aren’t really zombie films to begin with) but the movie is really the epitome of stupid fun.  The movie doesn’t pretend to be anything other than that. 

Sometimes, you just have to stop worrying and go with the flow.

I have to admit that I’ve never actually played the Resident Evil games before and whenever I’ve seen any of the movies, I’ve had to take my good friend Jeff with me so that he could explain what was going on.  To be honest, I’ve made him explain it to me several times and I still don’t quite get it all but he’s so cute when he tries.  I did try to watch him play one of the Resident Evil games once.  At one point, he started talking back to the imaginary people on the TV screen, saying, “No, how about you go down there and find them!?”  So, to be honest, that’s what I think about when I think about Resident Evil. 

(And, to be honest, I kind of wish that — at one point during the movie — either Alice or her sidekick Claire — played by Ali Larter — had said something along those lines instead of just blindly agreeing to run off alone into hordes of zombies.  It’s what I would have said.  “You want me to go swim through the flooded basement to retrieve those weapons?  Hey, fuck you, Mr.  Man.  You go do it if you want those freaking guns so much…”)

Anyway, I’ve been told that the big deal in this film is that Wentworth Miller shows up playing Claire’s brother, Chris.  Apparently, Chris is a big deal in the game.  He doesn’t really do much in this film but that’s okay.  Jovovich and Larter kick more than enough ass on their own.  Since I’m always a fan of any movie that features women fighting back (as opposed to just waiting to be rescued), that was fine with me.

Anyway, the demonic dogs and all the usual zombies all show up but, to be honest, their presence is almost an afterthought.  They don’t have much to do.  If I did really have any huge complaint with this unambitious film, it’s that you never really believe that the zombie apocalypse would be that hard to survive.  The zombies, quite frankly, are way too metrosexual.

But as I said before, this is a fun film as long as you don’t think about it.  It’s a movie to see with a group of friends so you can all take turns making silly comments.  On the plus side, the film’s opening — in which Tokyo is destroyed — is very well done and the film has an excellent musical score.  This is a movie that was designed to be played loud.

Oh — and the 3-D effects?  Actually, the 3-D effects were surprisingly good and Anderson actually makes good use of them.  Admittedly, they made me feel car sick but that’s on me.  Don’t blame the movie.

Here’s 6 More Trailers. Why? Because Lisa Loves You.

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Because I’m not real certain that I’ll be online this weekend (well, that plus the fact that I love you), I’m posting the latest installment of Lisa Marie’s favorite grindhouse and exploitation trailers a few days early.  Enjoy!

1) Scream and Scream Again — This is actually a pretty good British horror film from 1970.  It even has a political subtext for those of you who need your horror to mean something.  I love the whole “swinging” vibe of the trailer.

2) The Spook Who Sat By The Door — This 1973 film apparently used to be something of a legend because it was extremely difficult to see.  It was sold, obviously, as a blaxploitation film but quite a few people apparently saw it as being a blueprint for an actual revolution.  I’ve never seen this movie though, believe it or not, I did find a copy of the novel it was based on at Half-Priced books shortly after I first saw this trailer.  I bought the book but I haven’t read it yet.

3) The Black Gestapo — This is another one of those old school blaxploitation trailers that, to modern eyes, just seems so wrong.  I’ve actually seen this film.  It’s surprisingly dull, to be honest.

4) Sunset Cove — This one of the many trailers that I first came across on one of Synapse’s 42nd Street Forever compilations.  I’ve never seen the actual film and probably never will as apparently it’s like the uncut version of Greed — lost to the ages.  That’s okay because the film really does look really, really bad.  However, the trailer fascinates me because it has got such an oddly somber tone to it.  Just from the narration and one or two of the clips shown, you get the feeling that this movie ends with the National Guard gunning down a lot of teenagers while the tide comes in.  However, I think that might just be my own overactive imagination.  The film was apparently directed by Al Adamson who, in the mid-90s, was apparently murdered and buried in wet cement.

5) Autopsy — This 1975 Italian classic is one of my favorite examples of the giallo genre.  I can’t recommend it enough.  This is one of the most intense and disturbing films ever made.  The trailer’s pretty good too.

6) Visiting Hours — I don’t know much about this movie, other than it appears to be a slasher film from the early 80s.  I’m posting it here for one reason and one reason only — the skull.

Review: Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band (Dir. by Michael Shultz)

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

In 1978, just based on what I’ve read, everyone in America was regularly doing huge amounts of cocaine.  Whether you were in a disco or at a PTA meeting, you knew that eventually someone would produce a small mirror covered with white powder.  President Carter even snorted it during that year’s State of the Union speech.  Sure, some people used gold spoons and others had to make do with a one dollar bill but, in the end, cocaine brought all Americans together as a nation and helped the country heal after the trauma of Watergate. 

It also contributed to some the year’s best films.  Days of Heaven, Superman, The Deer Hunter, Coming Home, Grease, Animal House, Interiors, Halloween, Midnight Express, Convoy, Go Tell The Spartans, and An Unmarried Woman; these were all films fueled by the Peruvian Headache Powder. 

However, no discussion of 1978 cocaine-fueled films would be complete with mentioning Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band.  Featuring songs originally performed by the Beatles and starring the Bee Gees, Peter Frampton, and a whole bunch of other people that my mom liked, Sgt. Pepper’s is a film that, quite honestly, should just be retitled 1978.

Plotwise — oh God, do I really have to try to describe the plot?  Seriously, this could take forever.  I mean, the film isn’t quite two hours long but a lot of stuff happens and really the only connection between any of it is that these odd cover tunes of classic Beatles songs keep popping up in the weirdest places.  Okay, let me try to get this all into one paragraph —

There’s a small town called Heartland that is very small and simple but it’s also the home of the legendary Sgt. Pepper who, throughout history, has maintained world peace by playing his magic instruments.  But then Sgt. Pepper dies and apparently turns into a gold weather vane.  His magic instruments are given to the mayor of Heartland, Mr. Kite (George Burns, who also narrates the entire movie).  The world is in mourning.  But then one day, the Henderson Brothers (the Bee Gees) decide to form a new Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band and they invite Sgt. Pepper’s grandson, Billy Shears (played by Peter Frampton) to be their lead singer.  Heartland rejoices and George Burns has a surprisingly sweet scene where he sings  Fixing A Hole.

Anyway, the new band is such a hit that the owner of a record company invites them to come to Los Angeles and record an album.  Billy says goodbye to his girlfriend, Strawberry Fields (Sandy Farina) and then joins the Hendersons in a hot air balloon which promptly leaves for California.  En route, the balloon collides with an airplane but nobody is seriously injured. 

In Los Angeles, they meet the record company owner and it turns out that he’s played by Donald Pleasence.  (It’s interesting to think that Pleasence filmed this and Halloween around the same time.)  Pleasence proceeds to sing the creepiest version of I Want You ever heard.  I’d include a clip of the performance but Pleasence manages to go on for a good ten minutes, repeating “I want you,” in an odd little voice while staring at Peter Frampton.

The boys sign a contract with Pleasence.  Billy Shears is led astray by Lucy and her band, the Diamonds.  (Guess which song they get to sing.)  Somehow, this allows Mean Mr. Mustard to steal Sgt. Pepper’s magic instruments.  Mr. Mustard drives around in a yellow van and he’s assisted by two female robots who, at one point, sing She’s Leaving Home in their electronic, robot voices.

The band is informed that the instruments have been stolen.  Outraged, they jump back in their hot air balloon and quickly start a recovery operation.  It turns out that Mean Mr. Mustard has given the instruments to three separate villains.

The first villain is Dr. Maxwell Edison who uses his silver hammer to turn old people into boy scouts.  This may sound ludicrous and silly but fortunately, Maxwell is played by Steve Martin.  His cameo is one of the highlights of the film, if just because he seems to be one of the few people who actually enjoyed himself on set.

The second villain is the Reverend Sun.  He brainwashes people or something.  I’ve seen this movie a few times and I still can’t quite figure out what Reverend Sun’s deal is.  When I first saw this movie, I got excited because I thought that Tom Savini was playing Rev. Sun.  Then I forced my sister Erin to watch the movie and she told me I was stupid because Rev. Sun was obviously being played by Frank Zappa.  Well, I did some reasearch and discovered that we’re both stupid.  That’s neither Savini nor Zappa.  It’s Alice Cooper.

The final villains are played by a very young (and very, very hot!) Aerosmith.  Here, they are called the Future Villain Band and oh my God, Joe Perry…this film needed a lot more Joe Perry.  I mean, it’s understandable that Steve Tyler  gets most of the screen time and young Steve actually looks pretty good in a Mick Jagger sort of way but Joe Perry…Oh. My.  God.  Anyway, Aerosmith does a cover of Come Together and Joe Perry circa 1978 was just so freaking gorgeous, oh my God.  Eventually, Frampton and the Bee Gees come along and ruin things by getting into a fight with Steve Tyler which leads to the camera constantly cutting away from Joe Perry who is really, really, really hot and all kinds of sexy in this movie.  They should have just called this movie Joe Perry.  Oh.  My.  God.

Uhmm, where was I?  Oh yeah — so, anyway, eventually the weather vane comes to life and suddenly, Sgt. Pepper’s a black man who sings Get Back and ends up magically resetting the past and turning Mean Mr. Mustard into an altar boy or something like that.  Oh, and the Bee Gee who looks like a New Age healer ends up singing my favorite Beatles song, A Day in the Life. 

Finally, it appears that every single person on the planet shows up in the film’s final scene where a huge group of “stars” show up and sing the film’s title tune one last time.  In the end credits, these people are listed as being “Our Guests At Heartland.”  Doing some research (i.e., looking the thing up in Wikipedia), I’ve discovered that these folks were apparently all pop cultural icons in the 70s.  I didn’t recognize a single one of them but I’m sure they probably all snorted a lot of cocaine.

(And, by the way, Joe Perry does not get to return for the finale so bleh on you, movie.)

For some reason, this movie kept showing up on Starz last November and that’s where I first discovered it.  The first time I saw it, I came in right at the start of Steve Martin’s cameo and the film itself was so just plain weird that I had to jump on twitter and let the world know what I was watching.  (Actually, it doesn’t take much to make me jump on twitter and tell the world what I’m doing.)  As a result, I soon discovered that, apparently, I was the only person on the planet who didn’t know about this film.

Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band is really a pretty bad movie.  The plot tries way too hard, the pacing is terrible with some scenes lasting forever and others ending before they really start, and Frampton and the Bee Gees are all distinguished by an utter lack of charisma.  The youngest Bee Gee appears to be cheerfully stoned throughout the entire movie while the other two (and Frampton) are trying way too hard to act. 

And yet, the film fascinates me.  After I saw it the first time, I forced my sister to watch it with me a second time.  I then watched it again on my own.  Finally, I went down to the local Fry’s and nearly did a happy little dance when I found it on DVD.  I’ve watched it since several times.  Whenever I’m depressed, it always cheers me up.

 What’s the appeal?  Some of it is definitely the whole “so-bad-its-good” thing.  Actually, that’s probably most of it.  Another thing fascinating thing is how literally the filmmakers choose to interpret the Beatles lyrics.  Considering the fact that the Beatles themselves were rather open about the fact that a lot of their lyrics were simply nonsense and word games, it’s interesting to try to understand logic behind trying to force them into a coherent storyline.  (This is also the appeal of 2007’s Across The Universe, which is technically a better movie than Sgt. Pepper’s but isn’t half as fun to watch.)  For instance, Billy Shears isn’t in the film because he’s an interesting character.  Instead, he’s just here because — 10 years earlier — either John Lennon or Paul McCartney choose to toss the name into a song.  We’re never quite  sure what Mean Mr. Mustard’s dastardly motivation is beyond the fact that the filmmakers had the rights to his song.  If nothing else, the film is an interesting example of what happens when people try to create a novel out of somebody else’s short story.

However, I think the main appeal of Sgt. Pepper’s is the appeal of 1978.  Watching the movie, you feel almost as if you’re literally sitting beside the cast at Studio 54, watching as everyone snorts a line.  I think that, for future historians, this film may very well turn out to be a cinematic Rosetta Stone.

Then again, maybe it really is just so bad that it’s good.

6 Trailers For Labor Day

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Let’s celebrate Labor Day with the latest installment of Lisa Marie’s Favorite Exploitation Trailers.

1) Graveyard Shift — This is a Canadian film from 1986.  Ever since I first saw it on DVD last year, this has been one of my favorite vampire films.  It’s an atmospheric, strangely well-acted film that is just trashy enough to remain interesting.

2) Panorama Blue — I’ve never seen this movie and apparently, it’s a lost film of some sort.  The trailer can be found on one of the 42nd Street Forever compilation DVDs.  Apparently, this is some sort of pornographic epic.  I just enjoy the trailer even though I wouldn’t be caught dead on a roller coaster.  (They’re scary!)

3) Zombi 3 — This film is credited to Lucio Fulci but he actually only directed about 60% of it before he was fired and replaced by Bruno Mattei.  This trailer deserves some sort of award because it manages to make an amazingly boring film look exciting and almost fun. 

4) Rolling Thunder — Another film that I’ve never seen (and another trailer that I first found on a 42nd Street compilation).  This is an effectively moody trailer.  As a Texan, I also like the fact that Rolling Thunder apparently not only takes place in Texas but was also actually shot there with actual Texans in the cast.  And I love the ominous yet casual way that Tommy Lee Jones delivers the “I’ll get my gear,” line.

5) Angel — This is a trailer from the early 80s.  This is another one of those trailers that I love because it’s just so shamelessly sordid and trashy.

6) Hitch-Hike — Okay, quick warning — this trailer is explicit.  Not as explicit as many grindhouse trailers but it’s still explicit enough that some people might find it objectionable.  It’s certainly not safe for work though why are you visiting this site from work anyway? 

However, all that taken into account, it’s still a very good trailer for a very good movie, 1977’s Hitch-Hike.  Not only is it a nicely cynical little thriller, but it features not only another iconic psycho performance from David Hess but also a brilliant lead performance from Franco Nero.  I will also admit right now that if I ever got my hands on a time machine, the first thing I would do would be go back to 1977 and  give Franco Nero a hummer.  Seriously.

Okay, I’ve said too much.  Just watch the trailer and enjoy one of Ennio Morricone’s best scores. 

A Quickie with Lisa Marie: The American (Dir. by Anton Corbijn)

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Earlier today, I had the misfortune to sit through the just released movie The American.

The title character, as played by George Clooney (who also produced the film), is an aging assassin.  He’s done some bad, bad things and, as a result, he has some bad, bad people after him.  So, he hides out in an isolated, Italian village.  He makes friends with the local priest, engages in some shady business of some sort with a mysterious woman (Thekla Reuten), and of course falls in love with the proverbial hooker with a heart of gold (Violante Placido).  The whole time, the American is aware that his days are numbered and that he can trust no one.

And who really cares?

Director Anton Corbijn appears to be trying to do an homage to the noir-influenced French New Wave of the late 50s and 1960s but he seems to have forgotten that Jean-Luc Godard’s and Francois Truffaut’s films were usually as entertaining as they were intellectually stimulating.   (This, of course, is something that Godard forgot as well.)  As a result, The American often feels like a parody of an art film.  Every scene drips with great importance and all the actors play their roles like they’re in a passion play but, in the end, it’s just a lot of pretension that ultimately adds up to nothing.

As a movie, the American is pretty to look at but I lost interest in it fairly early.  Corbijn tries to create an atmosphere of ennui but the end result is simply dull.  Clooney attempts to give a restrained performance full of self-loathing and paranoia but he’s miscast in the part.  George Clooney the producer doesn’t seems to realize that Clooney’s essential shallowness is the key to his appeal.  George Clooney comes across as the perfect one-night stand, the epitome of fun-while-it-lasted but nothing to regret once he’s gone.  Whenever Clooney attempts to suggest anything suggesting any greater depth — like in this film — he simply seems lost.

Speaking of lost, so was I as I watched this dull, boring movie.  I’m sure some will embrace this film but for me, I’ll pass.

Scenes I Love: A Face In The Crowd

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Located below is the famous Vitajex advertising montage from Elia Kazan’s 1957 film, A Face In The Crowd.  Everytime I see this, I wonder if maybe American audiences in the 50s were smarter than we give them credit for. 

Then again, A Face in The Crowd was a notorious financial and critical failure when it was first released.  It’s actually one of the best and most influential movies ever made.  Certainly, it’s one of the few Kazan films that still seems artistically relevent today.  It should also be noted that A Face in the Crowd features Anthony Franciosa years before his starring turn in Dario Argento’s Tenebrae, Andy Griffith playing a villain, the film debut of Lee Remick, Walter Matthau as a tv writer, and Patricia Neal having a nervous breakdown.  Supposedly, a very young Rip Torn is somewhere in this film as well but I’ve never been able to spot him.

6 More Exploitation Trailers: The Late Edition

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Hi, Lisa Marie here.  I apologize for being a day late in continuing my series of posts devoted to some of my favorite exploitation and grindhouse film trailers.  Unfortunately, I got caught up having a fight with a troll over on my other blog and I ended up running behind.  The lesson here is that trolls are not worth the trouble.

But enough time wasted on dumbfugs and toadsuckers.  Let’s talk exploitation with six more of my favorite trailers.

1) The Candy Snatchers

Sadly, this DVD is now out-of-print and the people selling it on Amazon want you to pay something like $80.00 for it.  That’s a shame because The Candy Snatchers is, arguably, one of the greatest films ever made.  This is one of those movies that I desperately need to review but I’m still struggling to find the right words to express just how brilliant this movie is.

2) Django Kill

This trailer doesn’t really do justice to Django Kill which, quite frankly, is probably the strangest, most surreal western ever made.  Yes, this film is even stranger than El Topo.  However, I still like the pop art feel of this trailer.

3) The Raiders of Atlantis

This is one of Ruggero Deodato’s non-cannibal movies.  It’s actually surprisingly enjoyable in a very silly sort of way.

4) Burial Ground

Also known as The Nights of Terror, this is one of the more infamous examples of the Italian zombie genre.  To be honest, this is an amazingly trashy, stupid movie but once you start watching, you can not turn away.  This is another film I’ve been meaning to review for a while as I think it’s actually the most political of all the Italian zombie films.  People tend to get some caught up with the whole incest subplot that they miss the whole Marxist subtext.  And yes, the movie does include a title card that contains the word “profecy.”

5) The Teacher

I love this trailer.  It is such a relic that I almost feel like it should be put in a time capsule.  Plus, that whole “She corrupted the morals…” tag line is just so priceless.

6) Boss

When this 1975 movie was released on DVD, it was titled Boss.  Well, that’s only half of the original title.  I’ve never seen this movie (as the only westerns that interest me are Italian-made) but this trailer has always stuck with me because of the whole “Did I just hear that?” factor.  However, after I first saw this trailer, I did some research and discovered that the movie was actually written and produced by the film’s star, Fred Williamson.  So, that makes me a bit more comfortable with it.

10 Reasons Not To Sit In A Theater Full Of Old People

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

This is the most difficult post I’ve ever had to write.

This is largely because I wore my glasses (instead of my contacts) last night because I knew I was going to be sleeping over at Jeff’s place.  Now, it’s the morning and we can’t find my glasses.  So, while he continues to search, I am sitting here trying to write despite being blind.  Seriously, as I type this, my face is less than half-an-inch away from Jeff’s monitor.  If I squint real hard, I can kinda sorta make out the letter-shaped blobs that are blinking in front of me.

In other words, there might be some typos in this post.  Sorry — I’ll correct them once I can see again.

This post came to me last night as we were watching the new Robert Duvall film Get Low at the Regal Keystone Park 16 in Richardson, Texas.  Get Low is a good movie and Duvall gives a brilliant performance but, from the minute we first found our seats, I realized that I was literally the youngest person in the audience. 

I suppose I should define just what exactly this article’s definition of “old” is.  Originally, I was thinking of old as being anyone who is older than me (that is, anyone born before 1985).  However, that would include Jeff, all three of my sisters, and just about every other contributor to this site.  So, I revised my definition. 

From now on, old is anyone over the age of 40.

With that cleared up, on to this list:

1) Old people never show up for the movie on time.  Seriously, the first 20 minutes of Get Low were pretty much dominated by fat old people wandering around in the dark, searching for a seat.  Considering that movies never actually start when they’re supposed to and even then there’s about 15 minutes worth of commercials and trailers, there’s really no excuse for being that late.  Beyond, I guess, the arrogance that comes from being old.

2) Old people are mean.  It’s true!  And who wants to sit in the dark with a bunch of mean people?

3) Old people reek of buttery popcorn and stale nachos.  Listen, I like popcorn and I like butter on my popcorn.  And I like nachos too though I prefer the real thing as opposed to the lukewarm American version.  And, sometimes, I’ll get some popcorn to eat during the movie.  That, in itself, is not a sin.  That’s just being American.  However, I don’t use popcorn as a substitute for any of the major food groups.  But my God — what is the deal with old people who come waddling into the theater late and, of course, they’ve got a giant tub of popcorn in one hand and a giant tray of nachos in the other.  And since they waddle, what that means is that every step they take means that popcorn is going to be flying everywhere.  And then, once they do find a seat, they seem to feel the need to shake their giant tub of popcorn every few minutes as if to remind the rest of us that they’ve got a giant tub of popcorn and we don’t.  I mean, seriously, it’s time that the obese old people of the world accept the fact that not everything has to revolve around them.

4) Many old people are obese.  Before anyone says anything, I don’t feel good about writing that.  Obesity is a legitimate health concern and it’s often more the result of low self-esteem than anything else.  If I had enough money to get every obese old person liposuction, I would.  But I don’t and it doesn’t change the fact that obese old people make it difficult to enjoy a night out at the movies.  Whether it’s the fact that it takes them forever to find a seat and sit down or just the fact that they remind me of death, the grotesquely obese can be an issue.

5) Old people can’t drive.  This is less an issue when you’re watching the movie but definitely a concern when you’re trying to leave the theater afterward.  I mean, I understand that cars worked differently back in the Middle Ages but  seriously, we’ve reached a point where the engine’s not going to explode just because you tap the accelerator a little.

6) Old people can’t hear.  I love movies that are full of twists and turns.  What I can’t stand, however, is when I have to listen to the person behind me explaining all those twists and turns as they happen just because her companion is too freaking stubborn to get a hearing aid! 

7) Old people always want to do the whole Roger Ebert thing.  By this, I mean that after the movie ends, old people always want to sit there and go, “I didn’t like that…” or “The plot was too predictable.”  Okay, good for you, you’ve got an opinion.  So do I.  But I, at least, try to express my opinions in an interesting way.  “That plot was too predictable.”  Seriously, with all your years of life experience, you can be more witty than that.

8 ) Old people make weird noises.  Seriously, if you have to clear your throat that many times, you should probably be at the ER instead of the movies.

9) Old people don’t respect your privacy.  Seriously, what me and a friend choose to do while the movie is playing is our own business.  Keep your eyes on the screen, you old perverts.

10) Old people create awkward situations.  Seriously, no disrespect is meant by this but if someone in the audience dies while the movie’s playing, what is my obligation here beyond calling 911?  Is it acceptable for me to then watch the rest of the movie once I’ve called 911 or would that be considered a faux pas on my part?  I mean, what if it’s a really good movie?

Film Review: Winnebago Man (dir. by Ben Stienbauer)

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Yesterday, me and my sister Erin saw the documentary Winnebago Man at the Dallas Angelika.  The Angelika is absolutely my favorite theater in the entire world.  It’s also just about the only place in Dallas that you can see offbeat, out-of-the-mainstream movies like Winnebago Man.  Add to that, the Angelika is located right next to the Mockingbird DART rail station and it’s right next to the Townhouse Irish Pub.  There’s also a Virgin Megastore, an Urban Outfitters, and a Victoria’s Secret (among other stores) right next to the theater.  So, for me, a taking the train to see a movie at the Dallas Angelika is like a scaled-down version of one of those “shopping spree” montages that always seem to turn up in romantic comedies.  It’s like catch the train, shop for lingerie, see an art film, get drunk on Guinness, and then take the train back home.  What could be better?

Well, there is one problem with the Dallas Angelika and that is that it is located right next to Southern Methodist University.  For those of you who aren’t natives of Dallas, SMU is where the rich kids go to major in Business, Rohypnol, and youthful fascism.  Going to the Angelika means you’re always going to have the risk of having more than a few SMU toadsuckers and dumbfugs in the audience with you.  You can always spot them because they’re the ones who make it a point to laugh the loudest at the most obvious of jokes.  I guess it’s their way of trying to convince the rest of us that they actually are capable of semi-intelligent thought.

Quite a few of them were in the audience for Winnebago Man.  Erin and I were unlucky enough to attract the attention of two of them.  They sat down in front of us and, as we waited for the movie to begin, they turned around in their seats and asked us if 1) we lived nearby and 2) if we wanted to “hang out sometime.”  And while I’m certainly not a stranger to occasionally lowering my standards for the sake of a good time, I do have a problem with people who ask me if I want to “hang out,” as if I should just be so flattered to have the opportunity to be a part of their social circle.  So, I smiled and said, “No, but my sister’s available.”  Erin still hasn’t forgiven me.

Now, you may be wondering why these two idiots would have any interest in seeing a documentary not entitled Jackass or Girls Gone Wild.  Well, once the film started, it quickly became obvious that they (and most of the other SMU blackshirts in the audience) were fans of the original Winnebago Man video that inspired this documentary.  That video consists of outtakes of a man named Jack Rebney attempting to film a promotional video for Winnebago.  In the outtakes, Rebney continually forgets his lines, angrily curses, complains about the heat, and continually fights with an intern who, at one point, literally throws a towel at him.  An excerpt from the video can be found below:

Now, I have to be honest.  Up until I first saw the trailer for this documentary, I had never heard of the “Winnebago Man,” (also known as the Angriest Man In The World) and I’m almost as addicted to searching YouTube as I am to divulging TMI details of my life on twitter.  However, apparently, the Winnebago Man is one of the most popular videos on Youtube.  As director and narrator Ben Stienbauer explains in this documentary, a large part of the appeal of the Winnebago Man outtakes is that you’re literally seeing the worst day of Jack Rebney’s life.  Not only is he making a video promoting the Winnebago (or as I call them, Murdermobiles, because it’s impossible for me to imagine anyone other than a serial killer owning one) but he’s apparently doing it in the worst heat possible and getting attacked by flies as he does so.  It’s hard for the viewer not to relate his bad day to her own bad days.  However, what  really makes the video memorable is that Rebney doesn’t just quietly accept the heat, the flies, and the frustration.  Instead, he fights back in the only way he can — with constant variations on the “F” word.  Just watching the excerpts included in the documentary, I found myself wishing that I had simply told the two guys sitting in front of us, “Do me a kindness and fuck off.”

The documentary Winnebago Man beings with Ben Stienbauer telling us how he first saw the footage in the early 90s (in those pre-youtube days, it was apparently passed around on VHS tapes) and how the sight of angry, dehydrated Jack Rebney came to obsess both him and several other filmmakers.  Eventually, Steinbauer decides to try to track down Rebney (though he initially believes that there’s a good chance that Rebney’s dead) to find out what happened the day that infamous Winnebago video was filmed and whether or not Jack Rebney is indeed the angriest man in the world.

The first half of Stienbauer’s film is taken up with the search and for me, this is the best part of Winnebago Man.  Stienbauer makes for a likable protagonist and the aspiring detective in me loved watching as he explained, step-by-step, how he went about finding the elusive Jack Rebney. 

Even better, Stienbauer devotes a good deal of Winnebago’s Man first half examining why and how people become internet celebrities.  As Stienbauer correctly points out, most Internet celebrities are not known for being succesful.  Instead, they — like Jack Rebney — often become famous as a result of having something humiliating and degrading happen to them while being filmed.  One example that Stienbauer makes effective use of is the infamous “Star Wars” kid who became the most popular video on YouTube and ended up having a nervous breakdown as a result.  In many ways, Internet fame is the cruelest fame because not only is it a fame based on failure but the failure is usually very personal.   Stienbauer himself admits that there’s a certain morbidity behind his desire to find Jack Rebney.  He wants to see is Rebney has survived being known as the “Winnebago Man.”

Well, Stienbauer does find Jack Rebney and it turns out that Rebney has survived.  In his 80s, Rebney is nearly blind and lives an isolated existence in a cabin on a mountain.  Stienbauer finally visits his idol and discovers just who exactly the angriest man in the world really is.

For me, Winnebago Man is far less effective once Stienbauer actually finds Jack Rebney because it turns out that, in real life as opposed to in outtakes from a 20 year-old promotional video, Rebney is kind of a pain.  While Rebney first attempts to present himself as being a calm, rather mild man (in an attempt to counter his angry reputation), he soon starts to make regular phone calls to Stienbauer (all of which were, of course, recorded by the filmmaker) and gradually, he reveals his true self.

What is that true self?

Well, he’s kind of an asshole, to be honest.  He’s essentially an angry, incredibly boring old man who still can’t get over the fact that it’s not 1955 anymore.  When Stienbauer asks him what he wants to do with his Internet fame, Rebney says he wants to deliver a political message to everyone younger than him.  That message, by the way, is that Dick Cheney’s a crook.  Well, no shit.  Thanks for sharing.  Rebney doesn’t seem to get that my generation figured that out way before his generation did.  In the end, Jack Rebney just comes across as an angry old crank who wants to complain about the world being fucked up when he’s a part of the group that fucked it up in the first place. 

I mean, thanks for trying to tell me how to live my life but I think I’ll survive quite nicely without the advice.  Quite frankly, I don’t have much use for the Jack Rebneys of the world.

Winnebago Man is an interesting documentary that examines just what exactly it means to be famous in today’s world.  Though Jack Rebney himself eventually proves to be unworthy of such interest, the story of how Ben Stienbauer tracked him down and the “relationship” (it’s never exactly a friendship) that is created as a result is fascinating and thought-provoking.  I remained interested in Jack Rebney’s story even as I found myself wanting to ask him to do me a kindness and shut the fuck up.

Scenes I Love: Inferno

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Inferno is Dario Argento’s 1980 sequel to Suspiria.  Inferno seems to bring out the extreme reactions in Argentonians — it’s either loved or hated.  I happen to love it.

Below is one of the film’s best known sequences, the one where Irene Miracle ends up taking a surreal swim through a basement.  To me, this sequence is almost Fulciesque in it’s dream-like approach (punctuated, of course, by one sudden grotesque shock at the end).  Lucio Fulci’s The Beyond, which is often compared to Inferno, featured a similarly flooded basement. 

Words of warning: This scene lasts 6 and a half minutes.  Also, the first few minutes are nearly ruined by Keith Emerson’s bombastic score.  Fortunately, once Miracle takes her fateful dive, Mr. Emerson is silenced.