The Eric Roberts Collection: The Rebels of PT-218 (dir by Nick Lyon)

Posted on May 8, 2024 by Lisa Marie Bowman

The 2021 film, The Rebels of PT-218, takes place in 1943.

At the height of World War II, the Allies are on the verge of invading Italy and moving into Europe. General Omar Bradley (played by William Baldwin, who looks like Alec but sounds like Stephen) orders the SS Lawton, a small torpedo boat to help secure the port of Solano. It won’t be easy. The Atlantic Ocean is full of German U-boats and the Lawton is built to move cargo, not fight battles. But the Lawton is still the most powerful boat in the area and General Bradley believes in the abilities of the Lawton’s commander, Lt. William Snow (Eric Roberts).

However, Snow is eager to get into combat and defeat the Germans. In fact, he’s so gung ho to fight that some of Bradley’s assistants feel that Lt. Snow’s judgment can’t be trusted. Commander Barnes (Noah Blake) tells Ensign Kenneth Ford (Geoff Meed) to keep an eye on Snow and do everything he can to keep Lt. Snow on track.

The men of the SS Lawton, meanwhile, just want to man the guns, launch the torpedoes, and stop the Germans. They’re from all over the United States but they’ll be familiar to anyone who has ever seen a war film. Some of them are naive. Some of them are cocky and streetwise. One of them is played by Danny Trejo! Trejo plays Cookie, a former gunner turned cook. He delights in serving chorizos for dinner. Cookie has a mustache and a pony tail, which definitely do not feel like they would be within Navy regulations. After Cookie is wounded in action, a crewman tosses Cookie a machete and Trejo smiles like a man who has waited his entire life for that exact moment.

Historical accuracy? Who needs historical accuracy when you’ve got Danny Trejo and Eric Roberts in the same movie? Obviously, both Roberts and Trejo are a bit too old for their roles. Cookie would have probably retired from the Navy long before the bombing of Pearl Harbor. As for Roberts, one has to worry about any officer who is clearly in his 70s and still hasn’t achieved a rank higher than lieutenant. When Snow expresses his ambition to be promoted, you have to wonder if he’s hoping to be the world’s oldest admiral.

This film is an attempt to do an epic war story on a budget and it doesn’t quite work. One never feels that any of the characters are waking up everyday with the knowledge that this could be the day that they die. The ship and all of the characters are remarkably clean and fresh-faced throughout the film, with none of the grime nor grit that would have given the story a realistic edge. That said, Danny Trejo gets a few good lines and it’s always fun to watch Eric Roberts play an authority figure. In the end, the important thing is that America won.

Previous Eric Roberts Films That We Have Reviewed:

Maniac Cop 2 (1990, directed by William Lustig)

Posted on October 28, 2023 by Jedadiah Leland

Maniac Cop 2 picks up where the first Maniac Cop ended.

The NYPD thinks that the undead maniac cop Matt Cordell (Robert Z’Dar) has been destroyed but he is actually still alive and killing civilians and cops in New York. He has even teamed up with a serial killer named Steven Turkell (Leo Rossi, ranting and raving like a pro). Jack Forrest (Bruce Campbell) and Theresa Malloy (Laurene Landon) both return from the first film but both of them are killed by Cordell before the movie is even halfway over. Maniac Cop 2 is not playing around.

With Jack and Theresa gone, it falls to Detective Sean McKinney (Robert Davi) and Officer Susan Riley (Claudia Christian) to discover what the rest of the audience already knows, that Cordell is seeking revenge against the system that abandoned him in prison. The new police commissioner, Ed Doyle (Michael Lerner), is determined to cover up what happened but Cordell is even more determined to have his vengeance. Working with Turkell, Cordell heads to the prison where he was unjustly incarcerated and murdered.

Maniac Cop 2 is a marked improvement on the first film. Cordell is no longer a lumbering and slow monster. He is now a ruthless, Terminator-style executioner who, in the film’s best-known scene, wipes out an entire police precinct in a matter of minutes. Cordell is so ruthless that he won’t even stop when he’s on fire. His partnership with Turkell adds a new twist to the Maniac Cop saga. Turkell views Cordell as his partner-in-crime but Cordell is only interested in getting his revenge. (Turkell was originally meant to be Frank Zito, the main character from Lustig’s Maniac. When Maniac star Joe Spinell died before shooting began, the role was changed to Leo Rossi’s Steven Turkell.)

Stepping into the shoes of the main investigation, Robert Davi gives one of his best performances. As opposed to the boring heroes of the first film (sorry, Bruce!), Davi’s Sean McKinney is just as obsessive and ruthless as Cordell. Cordell sets fire and McKinney uses those fires to light his cigarettes.

William Lustig has described Maniac Cop 2 as being his best film and he’s probably right. It is definitely the best of the Maniac Cop films and the only one to fully take advantage of its premise.

2021 In Review: Lisa Marie’s 10 Top Non-Fiction Books

Posted on January 31, 2022 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Be sure to check out my previous picks for 2020, 2019, 2018, 2017, 2016, 2015, 2014, and 2013!

Come Fly The World: The Jet-Age Story of the Women of Pan Am by Julia Cooke
The Babysitter: My Summers With A Serial Killer by Liza Rodman and Jennifer Jordan
Trejo: My Life of Crime, Redemption, and Hollywood by Danny Trejo
Brat by Andrew McCarthy
Shooting Midnight Cowboy by Glenn Frankel
Mike Nichols: A Life by Mark Harris
The Case of the Murderous Dr. Cream: The Hunt For A Victorian-Era Serial Killer by Dean Jobb
Dress Codes: How The Laws of Fashion Made History by Richard Thompson Ford
Hollywood Eden by Joel Selvin
Rock Me on the Water: 1974-The Year Los Angeles Transformed Movies, Music, Television, and Politics by Ronald Brownstein

Lisa Marie’s 2021 In Review:

Bully (2018, directed by Santino Campanelli)

Posted on January 7, 2022 by Jedadiah Leland

Sixteen year-old Jimmy Mulligan (Tucker Albrizzi) is a nice kid with a big problem. His high school is ruled by a gang led by a bully named Miles (Jack DiFalco) and the overweight and quiet Jimmy has become the gang’s number one target.

Miles has decided that Jimmy owes him a hundred dollars. Even though Jimmy has never borrowed any money from Miles and is obviously not from a family that would have a hundred dollars to just toss around, Miles insists that Jimmy is in his debt. When Jimmy refuses to pay, Miles beats the poor kid while he’s walking home from school. However, the beating is observed by a retired boxer named Clarence “Action” Jackson (Ron Canada). Action runs off Miles and then he makes Jimmy an offer. He’ll help Jimmy learn how to box as long as Jimmy agrees to only use his skills for self-defense. At first Jimmy and his parents are reluctant but, after he gets beaten up for a second time, it’s time to go to Manny’s Gym!

Manny (Danny Trejo!), who is a legendary trainer, takes Jimmy under his wing and teaches him how to throw a punch and avoid a jab. Soon, Jimmy is losing weight, gaining confidence, and even going out on a date with a supercool goth girl named Adrian (Elanna White). But Miles still wants his money and eventually, Jimmy is going to have to put his training to use.

In many ways, Bully is every bullied kid’s dream. Not only does Jimmy learn how to throw a punch and get a girlfriend but he also gets to hang out with Danny Trejo! Manny is a tough but funny guy with a rough past but a good heart and he is using his skills to try to make the world a better place. The same can be said for Danny Trejo himself, so he’s the perfect choice to play Manny. Ron Canada is also good as Action Jackson, bringing a lot of quiet dignity to the part. Tucker Albrizzi does a good job of going from being insecure to being confident.

It’s just too bad that the film itself isn’t better. Bully has good intentions but the execution is lacking. The movie kept suggesting that there would be a scene where Jimmy had to chose between using his new skills for revenge or just for self-defense but it never happened. There were too many scenes that did not seem to go anywhere and, for all of the build-up, the final fight between Jimmy and Miles was anti-climatic and confusingly filmed. During the final 15 minutes, several new characters show up and suddenly become central to the story. Somehow, the Mafia finds out about the fight and takes an interest in whether or not Jimmy is going to be able to beat up Miles. On the one hand, it’s cool because Vincent Pastore is one of the gangsters but on the other hand, what’s going on? Why are they there?

Danny Trejo’s cool, though. That counts for a lot.

The TSL’s Grindhouse: Dead in Tombstone (dir by Roel Reine)

Posted on October 16, 2021 by Lisa Marie Bowman

In the 2013 film, Dead in Tombstone, Danny Trejo plays Guerrero De La Cruz, an old west outlaw who is loyal to his family, who has no problem robbing banks, but who also is not a fan of unnecessary bloodshed. Even though the film opens with Guerrero and his gang gunning down a posse of men, that’s just because they were saving the life of Red (Anthony Michael Hall), who just happens to be Guerrero’s half-brother. No sooner than you can say, “In what world could Danny Trejo and Anthony Michael Hall possibly be related?,” Red is asking Guerrero to help him pull off a daring robbery.

Guerrero helps Red because Guerrero is all about family. Unfortunately, Red is all about money and, not wanting to share the loot after the robbery, he promptly guns Guerrero down. Not only does Red shoot Guerrero but he insists that each member of the gang shoot him as well, implicating all of them in the crime.

Guerrero dies and promptly goes to Hell, where he’s met by Lucifer (Mickey Rourke). Guerrero doesn’t want to go to to Hell. He wants to get revenge. He offers to send a lot more souls down to Hell if Lucifer gives him a chance to return to the world of the living so that he can kill Red and the former members of his gang. Amused, Lucifer agrees but with a condition: Guerrero only has 24 hours to kill all six of his killers and Guerrero has to do all of the killing himself. He can’t hire someone else to do it or ask anyone for help. Guerrero agrees.

Unfortunately, as Guerrero soon discovers, he’s not the only one who wants Red dead. He’s going to have to move quickly if he’s going to kill all the members of the gang before Calathea (Dina Meyer), the wife of a sheriff killed by Red, gets a chance to do it herself!

Dead In Tombstone is one of those films that sounds a lot more interesting than it is. The concept behind the film is actually a pretty neat one and I like the idea of Guerrero actually having competition. This isn’t one of those westerns where everyone patiently waits their turn to go after the bad guys. The entire world wants these guys dead! Plus, who wouldn’t be excited about the idea of watching Danny Trejo and Mickey Rouke act opposite each other? With his weathered features and stoic demeanor, Danny Trejo is the perfect choice to play an outlaw and, for that matter, Rourke’s gravelly whisper and permanent smirk are put to good use in the role of the Devil. And while Anthony Michael Hall might seem like an odd choice to play Danny Trejo’s half-brother, he’s still properly villainous and loathsome in the role of Red.

And yet, the overall film itself is a bit uneven. The film looks good (especially for a straight-to-video project) but it never really seems to develop any sort of narrative momentum and there’s more than a few slow spots. At times, the film seems to be unsure of just how seiously it wants to take itself and, as a result, the story exists in a kind of limbo between being a straight western with supernatural elements and send-up of the whole genre. The end result is pretty uneven but the dream combination of Rourke and Trejo still makes it worth watching.

Book Review: Trejo: My Life of Crime, Redemption, and Hollywood by Danny Trejo

Posted on October 2, 2021 by Lisa Marie Bowman

As I sit here, preparing to write a few words about Danny Trejo’s autobiography, I find myself tempted to refer to him as being a “horror star.”

That’s just because it’s October and I’m in a horror mood. The truth of the matter is that Danny Trejo has appeared in all sorts of films. He’s done comedy. He’s done action. He’s done drama. Not surprisingly, given his background, he’s appeared in a ton of crime films. He guest-starred on two episodes of Baywatch. On King of the Hill, he lent his voice to the character of Enrique. He starred as Machete in two movies. And yes, he’s done his share of horror. He was killed by a giant snake in Anaconda. He was killed by Michael Myers (or “Mikey” as Danny’s character called him) in Rob Zombie’s Halloween. He battled both a multi-headed shark and a murderous ghost for SyFy. Danny Trejo has appeared in all sorts of films, to the extent that you never really know where or when he’s going to show up.

That’s something Trejo addresses in his autobiography, which is itself simply called Trejo. He writes about getting asked whether or not he minds appearing in so many B-movie and his reply is that even a B-movie will give people jobs, put food on the table, and perhaps provide some joy to someone who watches it. In another passage, he points out that one bad day on a movie set is still better than the best day in prison. He makes a good point. A lot of movie snobs could learn a lot from Danny Trejo’s attitude.

As for the book, it’s as straight-forward as the actor himself. Trejo talks about his early life of crime, the time he spent in prison, his struggle to get off drugs, his career as a no-nonsense drug counselor, and finally, his current status as a pop cultural icon. Trejo doesn’t hold much back, discussing not only the crimes that he committed when he was young and incarcerated (A lot of the people who love Danny Trejo the character actor would have been terrified of Danny Treo the violent criminal, including myself) but also his subsequent struggles to be a good and responsible father. Maturing is a theme that run through the entire book and Trejo admits that, even as he closes in on his 80th birthday, he’s still learning and growing. What makes the book truly effective is that Trejo never avoids responsibility for his mistakes nor does he attempt to deflect blame. He’s as honest about his sins as he is about his subsequent redemption and it’s that honesty that makes his story so inspiring.

If you’re hoping for a lot of Hollywood gossip, this book might disappoint you. With a few notable exceptions involving Edward James Olmos’s attempts to make a movie about the Mexican Mafia, Trejo focuses on the positive when he discusses his film career. One gets the feeling that he loves his life and he loves his unique place in the entertainment universe. There’s nothing wrong with that. Trejo takes a great deal of joy out of the fact that he’s survived and it’s hard not to share that joy. It’s also hard not to be touched by Trejo’s efforts to keep others from making the same mistakes that he made.

Trejo is a good and inspiring read. Check it out and give thanks for Danny Trejo. He’s a survivor and the world is better for it.

Horror Film Review: American Nightmares (dir by Darin Scott and Rusty Cundieff)

Posted on October 16, 2020 by Lisa Marie Bowman

I’m always a little bit cautious about anthology films. There’s been a few that I’ve liked. (I recently enjoyed Tales From Parts Unknown, for instance.) But most of the time, horror anthology films tend to leave me feeling rather disappointed. The good segments always seem as if they’re too short while the bad segments seem to go on forever and it’s hard not to feel that the only reason the film was made was because the filmmakers couldn’t be bothered to come up with a full-length story. Plus, there’s always some wrap-around segment and, more often than not, it’s usually kind of stupid and it leaves you feeling as if the film wasted the talents of whoever it was they hired to host the film.

And that brings us to American Nightmares.

In American Nightmares, two dorky guys who might as well have millennial tattooed on their foreheads, find their perusal of internet porn interrupted by the appearance of Mr. Malevolent (Danny Trejo), who proceeds to introduce not one, not two, not three, but SEVEN stories about terrible Americans getting their just deserts. The two dorky guys are rather blase about it all, being more concerned with watching twerking videos than really considering Mr. Malevolent’s stories about hypocritical people getting what they deserve.

Some of the stories are okay but there’s seven of them so it’s hard not to feel that the film is overstuffed. Plus, when you’ve got seven stories in one film, it just takes one or two clunkers to make the whole thing feel pointless. For instance, the first story — which deals with the perfect man and what he turns out to be — is okay and the second story — about a D.A. getting bitten by karma — is cartoonish but crudely effective. But then you hit the third story — which is about racists going to a fantasy world where “no blacks” are allowed — and the story is so heavy-handed, poorly acted, and slow that you kind of tune out. You end up ignoring several of the stories that come after because that third one was so dumb and poorly executed.

Danny Trejo is not a bad choice to play the host of a horror anthology. As is always the case with Danny Trejo, he brings a lot of energy to the role and he seems to be having a great time. His co-host is Nicelle Nichols, of Star Trek fame. She doesn’t get to do much other than nod approvingly as Trejo introduces each story. The stories themselves are full of familiar faces, though the film could hardly be called “all-star.” Instead, it’s more like, “Here’s a bunch of people who you might recognize and who needed the money.” In other words, the film is full of people like Jay Mohr, Chris Kattan, Vivica A. Fox, and Brendan Sexton III. Most of them give rather broad performances, as if they want to make sure you know that they’re just appearing in this movie as a favor to someone and not because they were desperate for work. It’s a bit like Movie 43, just with a less prestigious cast and more dead babies.

Anyway. American Nightmares is not particularly good. It’s overstuffed with stories and none of the stories are really as clever as the film seems to think that they are. Danny Trejo, though, is a badass.

Wedlock (1991, directed by Lewis Teague)

Posted on September 8, 2020 by Jedadiah Leland

This HBO film opens with a shot of an urban skyline and a title card that reads “somewhere in the future.” However, the city looks like a present-day city and the cars don’t fly and all of the clothing is 90s fashionable and the people in the movie use pay phones. Since Wedlock was made in 1991, I guess the movie takes place in … 1992? Maybe 1993.

Frank (Rutger Hauer), Noelle (John Chen), and Sam (James Remar) are professional thieves who have just managed to make a big score. They’ve stolen several million dollars worth of diamonds. Unfortunately, Sam tripped an alarm during the theft so Frank had to make off with the diamonds. After he hides them, Frank goes to the rendezvous point to meet up with Sam and Noelle. His partners betray him, shooting Frank and, after discovering that he doesn’t have the diamonds him, leaving him for dead.

However, Frank survives. He ends up getting sent to Camp Holliday, a prison run by Warden Holliday (Stephen Tobolowsky, who you’ll recognize as Ned Ryerson from Groundhog Day). The Warden explains that his prison is more progressive than most. Not only is the prison co-ed but prisoners are allowed more freedom to move around. The only catch is that all the prisoners wear an explosive dog collar. Each prisoner has a randomly selected mate, someone to whom they are wedlocked, if you will. Move more than 100 yards away from your partner and boom! Both collars go off and two prisoners end up losing their heads.

The Warden wants to know where the diamonds are hidden so he sets about torturing Frank (who has been given the prison name of Magneta) but he soon discovers that it won’t be easy to break Frank Warren. Even after Frank gets locked in a sensory deprivation tank, he just laughs and says the diamonds are with Santa at the North Pole. Another prisoner, Ivory (Mimi Rogers) approaches Frank and says that she’s figured out that she’s his partner. She wants to escape and she needs Frank to come with her. But can Frank trust her and, if she’s wrong, won’t both of their heads explode? Then again, who in the near future of the 1990s would turn down a chance to run off with Mimi Rogers? Meanwhile, Frank’s partners are waiting for him to escape from the prison so that they can follow him to wherever the diamonds are located.

Though the plot may be ludicrous, Wedlock works because it has a good cast (even Danny Trejo has a small role) and it was directed by Lewis Teague, who started his directorial career under Roger Corman and who has always understood how to put together a good B-movie. The prison scenes are more interesting than the scenes that take place in the outside world but the exploding head effects are cool and Rutger Hauer, James Remar, and Mimi Rogers are always enjoyable to watch no matter what they’re doing.

Cinemax Friday: The Last Hour (1991, directed by William Sachs)

Posted on June 26, 2020 by Jedadiah Leland

Because Eric (William Sachs) is a wealthy stockbroker who has just stolen five million dollars from the mafia, mob boss Lombardi (Bobby Di Cicco) sends a group of his enforcers to get both Eric and the moeny. However, when they arrive at Eric’s home, they discover that he’s not there but his wife, Susan (Shannon Tweed), is! After they kidnap Susan, they take her to an abandoned skyscraper and they wait for Eric to show up with the money. However, Susan’s ex-husband, Jeff (Michael Pare), is a tough cop who is not going to let anyone get away with holding his ex-wife hostage. After reluctantly teaming up with Eric, Jeff infiltrates the skyscraper and takes on the kidnappers, one-by-one.

What do we have with this movie? We’ve got an abandoned skyscraper. We’ve got a group of flamboyant hostage takers. We’ve got a beautiful woman being held prisoner. We’ve got a hero who is a tough cop and who loses his shirt early in the movie. You probably think this is a Die Hard rip-off but consider this! In Die Hard, the main bad guy was a European terrorist. In The Last Hour, he’s an American mafioso. Otherwise, this is totally a Die Hard rip-off. It’s Die Hard with a much lower budget and with a wooden Michael Pare serving as an unconvincing stand-in for Bruce Willis.

However, The Last Hour does have two things that Die Hard could have used. First off, it’s got Danny Trejo as one of the hostage takers. Any movie with Danny Trejo is going to automatically be cooler than any movie without Danny Trejo. Of course, this movie asks us to pretend that Michael Pare vs Danny Trejo would be a fair fight but we all know that, in the real world, Danny would totally win that battle. The other thing that this movie has that Die Hard doesn’t is Shannon Tweed. Shannon doesn’t get to do a lot. If you want to see a Die Hard rip-off where Shannon really gets to show what she can do, watch No Contest. Still, just as with Danny Trejo, any film with Shannon Tweed is automatically better than any film without her.

The Last Hour is no Die Hard, no matter how much it tries. But if brings together Danny Trejo and Shannon Tweed and for that, late night Cinemax viewers everywhere give thanks.

Music Video of the Day: Angel in Blue Jeans by Train (2014, dir by Brendan Walter and Mel Soria) (Happy Birthday, Danny Trejo!)

Posted on May 16, 2020 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Happy birthday, Danny Trejo!

Today’s music video of the day features Danny Trejo riding a motorcycle through the desert and doing other badass, Danny Trejo-type things. I know that a lot of people will watch this video and think to themselves, “My God, he can sing too!” However, believe it or not, Trejo is just lip-syncing. I know. I was shocked to find that out, too. That said, Trejo does a pretty good job lip-syncing and it’s possible that he may have been singing during the filming.

Seriously, who doesn’t love Danny Trejo? Not only is he a good actor who appears to sincerely want to improve the lives of other people but he’s got a pretty inspiring personal story too. So today, we happily wish the best of birthdays and we invite you to….

Enjoy!