Craig Schaefer | Through the Shattered Lens

Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Wednesdays, I will be reviewing 1st and Ten, which aired in syndication from 1984 to 1991. The entire series is streaming on Tubi.

Things aren’t looking too good for the Bulls!

Episode 3.7 “A Mutiny on the Bull Team”

(Dir by Stan Lathan, originally aired on October 7th, 1987)

After a terrible start to the season (back-to-back losses!), TD tells Coach Grier that he needs to do something to get the team back into championship shape. Coach Grier launches an intensive training regimen and he posts a list of rules in the locker room — no beer in the locker room, players must shave for game day, and a bunch of other things. The players rebel and, during the next game, they stop running the plays that Grier wants. TD confronts Grier and demands to know what’s going on. Grier says that he just did what TD told him to do. TD says that he didn’t tell Grier to become a dictator even though that is kind of what TD told him to do.

Really, “reign of terror?” Coach Grier is like in his 60s and he’s fat and out of shape. The football players are …. well, football players. What exactly is TD Parker saying? It’s hard to say. OJ Simpson delivers all of his lines in the same amiable and bland manner that he used when he said he would devote his life to searching for the real killers. It’s hard to know what TD is thinking.

Anyway, Grier realizes the errors of his ways and the Bulls win the game! So, TD doesn’t have to cut anyone from the team. He can put away his knife for now. Everyone in the locker room should be breathing a sigh of relief.

Meanwhile, Yinessa and new owner Jill Schrader struggle with their feelings for each other. In the end, Yinessa kisses Jill in the stadium parking lot so I guess they decided to forget about the whole “We have to maintain a professional separation” thing.

One final note: Last week’s episode featured Delta Burke swearing that she was going to reclaim ownership of the Bulls. But, with this episode, Burke is no longer listed in the opening credits so I guess that storyline is over with. Jill is now the owner. Good! Maybe the Bulls will finally win a championship.

This week, OJ Simpson argues with his wife.

Episode 3.3 “A Loaded Gun”

(Dir by Stan Lathan, originally aired on August 19th, 1987)

With Yinessa continuing to hold out for more money, Teddy thinks that he’s come up with a solution. He tells Yinessa that he will personally take out an insurance policy on him so that Yinessa can work out with the team, despite not having a contract. Yinessa agrees. TD Parker tells all of the defenders not to touch Yinessa because they cannot risk him getting hurt.

“Anyone who touches Yinessa is going to wind up in Buffalo!” Parker tells them.

Unfortunately, John Manzak has been taken too many steroids. As a result, the first thing he does is sack Yinessa. Yinessa is injured. As he’s rushed to the hospital, Diane tells Teddy, “Thank God you got that insurance policy.” Teddy looks worried — uh oh, it looks like someone didn’t get that insurance policy!

At the hospital, a doctor tells Diane that Yinessa has a detached retina and he’ll probably never play football again.

Meanwhile, TD is having trouble in his marriage. He forgets his wife’s birthday but TD’s secretary (Leah Ayres) sends flowers and buys a gift. Unfortunately, TD’s wife sees through the entire ruse. She and TD argue. And because TD Parker is played by OJ Simpson, it’s hard not to worry whenever anyone argues with him.

Hey, that’s a good point, OJ! Let’s move on!

Also, in this episode, Bubba goes to therapy because he hasn’t been able to make love to his wife since she gave birth. Jethro goes with him and pretends to have a shoe fetish. This led to another patient hiding his shoes. 1st and Ten is a comedy that rarely makes me laugh but I have to admit that I did chuckle when Jethro started talking about how much he loved shoes.

Other than the therapy scene, this was a pretty serious episode. Yinessa might never play again. John Manzak is going crazy due to the steroid abuse. (Is he going to be sent to Buffalo? I don’t know how he’s going to handle that!) The kicker is still looking for a wife so he won’t get deported. And Diane has no idea what’s going on with her team.

How will the Bulls ever make it to the championship game!?

I guess I’ll have to keep watching to find out.