Retro Television Review: Fantasy Island 5.14 “Daddy’s Little Girl/The Whistle”


Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Tuesdays, I will be reviewing the original Fantasy Island, which ran on ABC from 1977 to 1984.  Unfortunately, the show has been removed from most streaming sites.  Fortunately, I’ve got nearly every episode on my DVR.

This week, the stars align and John Carradine shows up on Fantasy Island.

Episode 5.14 “Daddy’s Little Girl/The Whistle”

(Dir by Don Chaffey and Don Weis, originally aired on January 30th, 1982)

The plane is landing and Mr. Roarke and Julie are getting ready to meet their guests for the weekend.  But wait a minute — where’s Tattoo!?  Roarke explains that Tattoo has volunteered to spend the weekend learning how to do CPR.  When a voluptuous nurse walks by, Julie rolls her eyes and says that Tattoo only cares about learning “mouth-to-mouth.”

“Julie!” Mr. Roarke snaps, even though Julie is probably correct.

Anyway, any episode without Tattoo feels strange and that’s certainly true of this episode.  There are two fantasies, one of which was dramatically better than the other.  The lesser of the two fantasies involves Christa Ackland (Genie Francis) and her efforts to find out the identity of her father.  All she knows is that her mother (Carolyn Jones) knew her father in the Philippines during World War II.  Christa is going to be married on Fantasy Island and she wants her real father to give her away.

Three men, all of whom served in the Air Force together, step forward and claim, one after the other, to be Christa’s father.  When Christa finally confronts her mother, she learns that her father is not Gene (John Ericson), Al (Alan Hale, Jr.), or Bert (Gene Nelson).  Instead, he was a guy named …. well, Guy.  Guy was shot down while on a mission.  Gene, Al, and Bert all explain that the stepped forward and claimed to be her father out of loyalty to Guy and because they didn’t want Christa to learn on her wedding say that her father was dead.  (Apparently, they felt that information would be better received after the honeymoon.)  Christa is surprisingly forgiving.  She realizes that her stepfather (William Windom) has more than earned the right to give her away.  Christa marries George Stickney (James Daughton, the head of the evil frat in Animal House) and Julie cries at the wedding.  Awwww!

The main problem with this storyline was that Genie Francis gave a surprisingly bad performance as Christa.  Instead of coming across as someone who truly wanted to know about her real father, she instead came across as being petulant and more than a little self-righteous.  Carolyn Jones, William Windom, and the three potential fathers were all likable but none could make up for the unsympathetic lead character.

The other fantasy was a bit more fun, even if was impossible to follow the story.  Iconologist Adrian Brilles (Edward Winters) dreams of making a great discovery that will bring him fame and prove his theories about ancient hieroglyphics to be correct.  Mr. Roarke sends him to a ghost town that is also the home of a museum of ancient artifacts.  Working with curator Leila Proctor (Ann Turkel), Adrian discovers what he describes as being “the Rosetta Stone of hieroglyphics.”  He also discovers an ancient whistle that will grant him three wishes.

There are a few townspeople, all of whom take a lot of interest in Adrian’s work.  Their leader is the town’s mortician and he’s played by — YES! — JOHN CARRADINE!  And though Carradine doesn’t get to do much and was obviously physically frail when he filmed this episode, his famous voice and his piercing stare combine to make the Mortician a memorable character.  There’s also a fairly ridiculous scene where the townspeople reveal their true selves, which means dancing around while wearing rubber demon masks.  It’s silly but it’s effective.

It’s never quite clear what’s happening at the ghost town, beyond the three wishes being a set up to bring the demonic townspeople into the world and to cost Adrian his soul.  Fortunately, Mr. Roarke pops up and gives Adrian some cryptic advice about the third wish being the most important.  For his first wish, Adrian wishes for the townspeople to be their true selves.  (Cue the demon dance.)  For his second wish, he goes for fame and adulation.  For his third wish, he cancels the first two wishes and this somehow set free not only his soul but Leila’s as well.

Yep, it doesn’t make much sense but it’s got John Carradine and a bunch of horror imagery so it’s fun.  That’s all I really ask for when it comes to Fantasy Island.  The whistle fantasy makes up for the wedding fantasy and the lack of Tattoo.  This was a worthwhile trip to the Island.

Retro Television Review: Fantasy Island 4.14 “The Chateau/White Lightning”


Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Tuesdays, I will be reviewing the original Fantasy Island, which ran on ABC from 1977 to 1984.  Almost the entire show is currently streaming on Daily Motion.

This week, we get a bad fantasy and a good fantasy.  Smiles, everyone!

Episode 4.14 “The Chateau/White Lightning”

(Dir by Leslie H. Martinson, originally aired on February 7th, 1981)

The first of this week’s fantasies involves the McAllister clan and the Scroggins clan, two feuding families from Appalachia who both come to Fantasy Island with the same fantasy.  They want to find the formula for a legendary type of moonshine called White Lightning.  The McAllisters are led by Clora (Carolyn Jones) and include her children, Ruth Ann (Wendy Schaal), Amos (Ed Begley, Jr.), and Otis (Richard Lineback).  The Scroggins are led by Norris (George Lindsey) and include his sons, R.J. (Randy Powell) and Bobby Joe (Ernie Lively).

Since both families have the same fantasy and they both want the recipe for themselves….

What?  Yes, this the bad fantasy.

Anyway, Mr. Roarke gives them a map that will lead them to White Lightning still on Fantasy Island.  The two families race to be the first to reach the still, not realizing that the still is guarded by an old man with a rifle and that old man is Mr. Roarke in a fake beard.

You will probably not be surprised to learn that Mr. Roarke pretending to be a moonshiner is the best part of this fantasy.  Seriously, I hope everyone involved with this series appreciated the dedication that Ricardo Montalban brought to bringing even the most ridiculous of scenes to life.

This was a dumb fantasy and, from the minute the two families stepped off the plane, it was obvious that they’re going to end up setting aside their differences and working together.  The hillbilly stuff just felt out of place on Fantasy Island.  Let’s move on and let’s do so quickly.

The other fantasy is a bit more fun.  Vicky Lee (Pamela Franklin) is writing a book about her grandmother, a silent screen actress who died under mysterious circumstances.  Her fantasy is to interview her grandmother’s former co-star, Claude Duncan, who lives in seclusion in a Fantasy Island chateau.  Mr. Roarke tries to dissuade her from entering the chateau and warns her that her fantasy might be dangerous in ways that she could never imagine.  Vicky says that she can take care of herself.

In the chateau, she meets Karl Dixon (David Hedison), who looks exactly like Claude Duncan!  She assumes that Karl must be Claude’s grandson but the audience knows better.  For one thing, we’ve noticed the statue of Pan in the chateau’s courtyard and we’ve also noticed that its eyes glow whenever something strange happens.  It turns out that Claude Duncan and Karl Dixon are one in the same!  Claude has remained young by offering up sacrifices to Pan.  And it appears that he’s planning on making Vicky his latest sacrifice.

Vickey Lee’s fantasy was silly but entertaining, in the way that the best episodes of Fantasy Island often are.  I always prefer the fantasies that have an element of the supernatural and that’s certainly the case with this one.  At one point, Duncan even claims that Mr. Roarke has no power in the Chateau, which leads me to once again wonder about who truly rules Fantasy Island.  If Mr. Roarke was truly in control of Fantasy Island, why would he allow Claude Duncan to live there?  In an interview, Ricardo Montalban suggested that Fantasy Island was a form of Purgatory and that Mr. Roarke was more of a caretaker than a ruler.  This fantasy would certainly suggest that to be true.

(The fantasy also features a charmingly weird scene where Mr. Roarke suddenly appears on a television screen in the chateau so he can tell Vicky that she’s in danger.  Strange Mr. Roarke is the best Mr. Roarke.)

So, this week gave us one bad fantasy and one good fantasy.  Fortunately, the good fantasy was really, really good.

Retro Television Reviews: Fantasy Island 4.6 “With Affection, Jack the Ripper/Gigolo”


Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Tuesdays, I will be reviewing the original Fantasy Island, which ran on ABC from 1977 to 1986.  Almost the entire show is currently streaming is on Youtube, Daily Motion, and a few other sites.

This week, Fantasy Island is full of gigolos and harlots!

Episode 4.6 “With Affection, Jack The Ripper/Gigolo”

(Dir by Michael Vejar, originally aired on November 29th, 1980)

“Here comes a real wimp!” Tattoo declares as Stanley Hocker (Ken Berry) stumbles off of the airplane.

Roarke rolls his eyes at Tattoo’s rudeness but then goes on to admit that most people would consider Stanley to be a bit of a wimp.  Stanley is shy and awkward and he wears dorky clothes and he’s never had much success with romance.  Stanley’s fantasy is to become a gigolo.

“Good luck!” Tattoo says.

Roarke doesn’t need luck when he can get just give Stanley a magical bracelet that once belonged to Don Juan.  As soon as the bracelet appears on Stanley’s wrist, Stanley is suddenly confident, cool, and much better dressed.

“I’m not a turkey anymore!” Stanley declares, “I’m a hunk!”

Soon, every woman on the Island is attracted to Stanley.  However, a trip to the Fantasy Island singles bar, leaves Stanley with a large bar tab.  It turns out that Roarke may have given Stanley the bracelet but he didn’t give him any extra money.  The bill is paid by another gigolo, Monty (Lyle Waggoner).  In return for his help, Monty requests that Stanley seduce the wealthy Jessie De Winter (Carolyn Jones) so that Monty can make a move on Jessie’s niece, Dina (Meredith McRae).

Of course, Stanley falls in love with Dina but she’s the only woman on the Island who is not impressed with his gigolo style.  Stanley finally agrees to remove the bracelet and sacrifice his fantasy so that he can approach Dina as his true self.

While this is going on, Jack the Ripper is stalking Fantasy Island!  Yikes!

It’s all the fault of Lorraine Peters (Lynda Day George).  Lorraine has developed a theory that Jack the Ripper was actually a surgeon named Dr. Albert Z. Fell (Victor Buono, rarely speaking but often dramatically rolling his eyes).  Lorraine’s fantasy is to go back to 1880s London to find proof of her theory.  Despite some reservations, Roarke gives Lorraine her fantasy.  Lorraine steps through a time door and finds herself in London.  She manages to find Dr. Fell’s office and a diary in which Fell has written about his hatred of “harlots.”  However, Dr. Fell also finds the time door, steps through it, and is soon on Fantasy Island!

Upon discovering that history’s most infamous murderer is now stalking the Island, Roarke sends Tattoo out to let everyone know that they need to stay inside.  Of all the people that Roarke could send, it’s interesting that Roarke selected the person least likely to survive if he was caught by Jack the Ripper.  Seriously, there are a lot of athletic guys on Fantasy Island and any one of them could have beaten up the rather portly and middle-aged Jack the Ripper.  Instead of asking one of them to look for the killer, Roarke sends Tattoo.  Even in a moment of crisis, Roarke is always looking for a way to get rid of his assitant.

Fortunately, Dr. Fell is too busy trying to kill Lorraine and her boyfriend, Robert (Alex Cord), to waste any time on Tattoo.  Dr. Fell chases Lorraine all across the island.  Lorraine leads Fell back through the time door and Fell is promptly run over by a carriage in London.  Lorraine returns to the present and tells Mr. Roarke that she’s decided not to reveal the truth about Dr. Fell because …. well, I don’t know why.

Despite some lapses in logic, the Jack the Ripper story was actually really entertaining.  There was nothing subtle about Victor Buono’s performance but it was still exactly what the story needed.  Lynda Day George was appearing in films like Pieces and Mortuary when she appeared in this episode and she puts that horror experience to good use.  The scenes in London were atmospheric and the idea of Jack the Ripper on Fantasy Island was intriguing, even if the episode didn’t do as much with the idea as it could have.  The superior Jack the Ripper fantasy and the silly but inoffensive gigolo fantasy combined to make this an enjoyable trip to Fantasy Island.

Retro Television Reviews: The Love Boat 3.8 “Play By Play/Cindy/What’s A Brother For?”


Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Wednesdays, I will be reviewing the original Love Boat, which aired on ABC from 1977 to 1986!  The series can be streamed on Paramount Plus!

It’s time for a Halloween cruise!

Episode 3.8 “Play by Play/Cindy/What’s A Brother For?”

(Dir by James Sheldon and George Tyne, originally aired on October 27th, 1979)

Yes, this episode does feature the Love Boat’s annual Halloween cruise but sadly, it doesn’t do much with the theme.  Last season’s Halloween cruise featured Vincent Price as an illusionist.  This season, there is a costume ball but it’s mostly just there so that the show can do a take off on Cinderella.

Cindy (Melissa Sue Anderson) is a shy girl who boards the ship with her wicked stepmother (Carolyn Jones) and her two less-than appealing step-sisters (Ronda Bates and Lila Kent).  While the stepmother tries to find an eligible bachelor for either one of her biological daughters, Cindy is expected to stay in the cabin and do the laundry.  However, Gopher hears Cindy singing Witchcraft and decides that Cindy simply has to sing for “the prince of pop,” Preston Maddox (Frank Sinatra, Jr., who looks like a cross between his father and Jerry Lewis).  However, how can Cindy escape from the cabin?  Gopher arranges for her to go to the costume ball and he even steals Julia’s Cinderella costume so Cindy can go incognito.  Cindy impresses Preston but, when Julie sees that Cindy is wearing her costume, Cindy makes a run for it.  She leaves behind one glass slipper and …. well, you know where this is going, right?  As everyone disembarks in Los Angeles, Preston has them try to on the slipper.  Cindy, however, doesn’t have to try on the slipper to prove her identity.  She just has to start singing Witchcraft.  By the end of the episode, you’ll wonder if Cindy knows any other songs.

While all that is going on, Bud Pomeroy (Christopher George) and Peggy Rossmore (Lynda Day George) are two sportscasters who work together but actually dislike each other.  Peggy thinks Bud is a chauvinist and Bud thinks that Peggy was only hired for her looks.  They decide to compete in a series of athletic events to determine who will stay at their station and who will quit.  Bud wins at arm wrestling.  Peggy wins a 5-mile race around the ship.  To determine their third event, Peggy randomly draws a piece of paper from Captain Stubing’s hat and discovers that the next competition will be weight-lifting!  When Bud throws his back out, it looks like Cindy is going to win but then Cindy asks Bud to stay and they discover that they actually love each other.  Yay!  Neither the story nor the characters were that interesting but Christopher George and Lynda Day George were married in real life and they made an attractive couple.

Finally, Tom Benton (Tom Hallick) has devoted his entire life to looking after his brother, Matt (Patrick Wayne), who uses crutches.  When Tom meets and falls in love with Kris (Joan Van Ark), Matt realizes that it is time for Tom to move on and find some happiness of his own.

For the most part, this was a typically pleasant episode of The Love Boat but, as a Halloween episode, it was a major disappointment.  They should have had some fun with season but, unfortunately, they didn’t.  This was like going on a Christmas cruise and not getting any presents.

Retro Television Reviews: Fantasy Island 3.8 “The Handyman/Tattoo’s Romance”


Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Tuesdays, I will be reviewing the original Fantasy Island, which ran on ABC from 1977 to 1986.  Almost entire show is currently streaming is on Youtube!

This week, on Fantasy Island, Tattoo falls in love!

Episode 3.8 “The Handyman/Tattoo’s Romance”

(Dir by Lawrence Dobkin, originally aired on November 10th, 1979)

Following the death of his wife last week, Mr. Roarke is once again back to being his usual cranky, Tattoo-hating self.  And this week, Mr. Roarke has a special reason to be annoyed with his assistant.  Tattoo has gone rogue!

As Mr. Roarke explains it, he has rejected the fantasy of Donna May Calloway (Audrey Landers) twice.  Donna May says that she wants to be a country-western superstar but Mr. Roarke doesn’t feel that she has the talent and he also feel that Donna May is being pushed into it by her aunt, Ellie Simpson (Carolyn Jones).  Ellie had to give up her own musical dreams when she was younger and now she’s forced them onto Donna May.  However, Tattoo takes it upon himself to bring Donna May to the Island and to get her an audition with country-western producer, Colonel Hank Sutton (Richard Paul).  Mr. Roarke correctly perceives that Tattoo is being blinded by his own crush on Donna May.

Col. Sutton is not impressed with Donna May’s audition.  (It doesn’t help that Ellie pressures Donna May to sing a corny song about losing her boyfriend to her best friend.)  Still, Ellie is convinced that Tattoo can somehow talk Col. Sutton into giving Donna May another chance.  Ellie tells Donna May to use Tattoo’s attraction towards her for own purposes.  Though reluctant, Donna May starts to flirt with Tattoo.

Tattoo may be in love but Mr. Roarke is enraged.  He confronts Ellie and Donna May in their cabin and tells them that he will not allow them to manipulate Tattoo.  (Much as with last week, Ricardo Montalban is obviously energized by having the chance to play Mr. Roarke as being something other than just an enigmatic host.)  Ellie goes to Tattoo and lies, claiming that Mr. Roarke told them that Tattoo is not good enough for Donna May.  What a bitch!

This leads to — and I’m not joking here — a sincerely touching scene between Mr. Roarke and Tattoo.  Tattoo tells Mr. Roarke what Ellie said.  Mr. Roarke replies that what worries him more than Ellie saying that is the thought that Tattoo might believe it.  Tattoo says that he doesn’t but that he loves Donna May and that he’s going to leave Fantasy Island to be with her.  By most accounts (including their own), Ricardo Montalban and Herve Villechaize did not get along on the set but you’d never guess it from this wonderfully performed scene.  Both of them deliver their lines with such sincerity and emotional vulnerability that it’s impossible not to be moved by their friendship.

Mr. Roarke confronts Donna May and Ellie in the Fantasy Island recording studio.  (Yes, Fantasy Island has its own recording studio.)  Donna May is stricken with guilt when she hears that Tattoo is giving up Fantasy Island for her.  She tells Ellie that she’s going to live her own life from now on.  After Ellie leaves in a huff, Donna May says that she must find Tattoo and apologize to him.

Suddenly, Tattoo reveals that he’s been in the recording the booth the whole time.  “Apologize to the boss, first,” Tattoo orders, revealing that his first allegiance will always be to Mr. Roarke.  Donna May and Tattoo then sing a country song together.  No, I’m not making that up.  It’s weird but kind of sweet.

As for the other fantasy, it’s far less interesting.  Holly Ryan (Future Congressman Sonny Bono, who was a bit of a regular on both this show and The Love Boat) is an accountant who witnessed a murder committed by a gangster named Spider Sloat (Joey Forman).  Holly’s fantasy is to hide out from Spider and, when Spider and his men suddenly show up on the Island, Holly ends up doing just that at an orphanage run by Emily Perkins (Shelley Fabares).  Holly falls in love with Emily, takes care of the orphans, and puts on a dress when Spider comes looking for him.  It’s a thoroughly lightweight fantasy that largely serves to remind us that no one nicknamed Spider can be convincingly intimidating.

As silly as the second fantasy may be, the first fantasy makes up for it.  Much as with last week’s episode, both Ricardo Montalban and Herve Villechaize give such strong performances that this silly little show actually brought a tear to my mismatched eyes.

Will next week be as good?  We’ll find out!

Rest In Peace to Lisa Loring, the original Wednesday Addams


Rest in peace to Lisa Loring, the original Wednesday Addams.  She passed away as the result of a stroke yesterday.  She was 64 years old.

Here she is, as Wednesday, teaching Lurch how not to be a square.

Horror on TV: Ghost Story 1.5 “The Summer House” (dir by Leo Penn)


On tonight’s episode of Ghost Story, Carolyn Jones and Steve Forrest play a couple who spend their summers in a vacation home that appears to be haunted as well.  This was one of Carolyn Jones’s final roles.

This episode originally aired on October 13th, 1972.  Director Leo Penn is perhaps best known as the father of actors Sean and Chris Penn.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WEue0tZJ2kg

Horror on TV: Kolchak 1.16 “Demon In Lace” (dir by Don Weis)


Tonight, on Kolchak….

Young college students are dying of heart attacks and Carl Kolchak is on the case!  Could it be just a coincidence?  Could it be drugs?  Could it be anything other than a Sumerian demon?  Well, if you know Kolchak, you already know the answer to that question!

This episode originally aired on February 7th, 1975.

Enjoy!

Lisa Reviews An Oscar Nominee: How The West Was Won (dir by Henry Hathaway, George Marshall, John Ford, and Richard Thorpe)


(With the Oscars scheduled to be awarded on March 4th, I have decided to review at least one Oscar-nominated film a day.  These films could be nominees or they could be winners.  They could be from this year’s Oscars or they could be a previous year’s nominee!  We’ll see how things play out.  Today, I take a look at the 1963 best picture nominee, How The West Was Won!)

How was the west won?

According to this film, the west was won by the brave men and women who set out in search of a better life.  Some of them were mountain men.  Some of them worked for the railroads.  Some of them rode in wagons.  Some of them gambled.  Some of them sang songs.  Some shot guns.  Some died in the Civil War.  The thing they all had in common was that they won the west and everyone had a familiar face.  How The West Was Won is the history of the west, told through the eyes of a collection of character actors and aging stars from Hollywood’s Golden Age.

In many ways, How The West Was Won was the Avatar of the early 60s.  It was a big, long, epic film that was designed to make viewers feel as if they were in the middle of the action.  Avatar used 3D while How The West Was Won used Cinerama.  Each scene was shot with three synchronized cameras and, when the film was projected onto a curved Cinerama screen, it was meant to create a truly immersive experience.  The film is full of tracking shots and, while watching it on TCM last night, I tried to imagine what it must have been like to see it in 1963 and to feel as if I was plunging straight into the world of the old west.  The film’s visuals were undoubtedly diminished by being viewed on a flat screen and yet, there were still a few breath-taking shots of the western landscape.

The other thing that How The West Was Won had in common with Avatar was a predictable storyline and some truly unfortunate dialogue.  I can understand why How The West Was Won was awarded two technical Oscars (for editing and sound) but, somehow, it also picked up the award for Best Writing, Screenplay or Story.  How The West Was Won is made up of five different parts, each one of which feels like a condensed version of a typical western B-movie.  There’s the mountain man helping the settlers get down the river story.  There’s the Civil War story.  There’s the railroad story and the outlaw story and, of course, the gold rush story.  None of it’s particularly original and the film is so poorly paced that some sections of the film feel rushed while others seem to go on forever.

Some of the film’s uneven consistency was undoubtedly due to the fact that it was directed by four different directors.  Henry Hathaway handled three sections while John Ford took care of the Civil War, George Marshall deal with the coming of the railroad, and an uncredited Richard Thorpe apparently shot a bunch of minor connecting scenes.

And yet, it’s hard not to like How The West Was Won.  Like a lot of the epic Hollywood films of the late 50s and early 60s, it has its own goofy charm.  The film is just so eager to please and remind the audience that they’re watching a story that could only be told on the big screen.  Every minute of the film feels like a raised middle finger to the threat of television.  “You’re not going to see this on your little idiot box!” the film seems to shout at every moment.  “Think you’re going to get Cinerama on NBC!?  THINK AGAIN!”

Then there’s the huge cast.  As opposed to Avatar, the cast of How The West Was Won is actually fun to watch.   Admittedly, a lot of them are either miscast or appear to simply be taking advantage of a quick payday but still, it’s interesting to see just how many iconic actors wander through this film.

For instance, the film starts and, within minutes, you’re like, “Hey!  That’s Jimmy Stewart playing a mountain man who is only supposed to be in his 20s!”

There’s Debbie Reynolds as a showgirl who inherits a gold claim!

Is that Gregory Peck as a cynical gambler?  And there’s Henry Fonda as a world-weary buffalo hunter!  And Richard Widmark as a tyrannical railroad employee and Lee J. Cobb as a town marshal and Eli Wallach as an outlaw!

See that stern-faced settler over there?  It’s Karl Malden!

What’s that?  The Civil War’s broken out?  Don’t worry, General John Wayne is here to save the day.  And there’s George Peppard fighting for the Union and Russ Tamblyn fighting for the Confederacy!  And there’s Agnes Moorehead and Thelma Ritter and Robert Preston and … wait a minute?  Is that Spencer Tracy providing narration?

When Eli Wallach’s gang shows up, keep an eye out for a 36 year-old Harry Dean Stanton.  And, earlier, when Walter Brennan’s family of river pirates menaces Karl Malden, be sure to look for an evil-looking pirate who, for about twenty seconds, stares straight at the camera.  When you see him, be sure to say, “Hey, it’s Lee Van Cleef!”

How The West Was Won is a big, long, thoroughly silly movie but, if you’re a fan of classic film stars, it’s worth watching.  It was a huge box office success and picked up 8 Oscar nominations.  It lost best picture to Tom Jones.

(By the way, in my ideal fantasy world, From Russia With Love secured a 1963 U.S. release, as opposed to having to wait until 1964, and became the first spy thriller to win the Oscar for Best Picture.)

Little Tin God: SHIELD FOR MURDER (United Artists 1954)


gary loggins's avatarcracked rear viewer

Edmond O’Brien  is big, burly, and brutal in 1954’s SHIELD FOR MURDER, a grim film noir about a killer cop trapped in that ol’ inevitable downward spiral. It’s a good (though not great) crime drama that gave the actor a seat in the director’s chair, sharing credit with another first timer, Howard W. Koch. The film, coming at the end of the first noir cycle, strives for realism, but almost blows it in the very first scene when the shadow of a boom mike appears on an alley fence! Chalk it up to first-timer’s jitters, and a budget that probably couldn’t afford retakes.

O’Brien, noted for such noir thrillers as THE KILLERS , WHITE HEAT, and DOA, stars as crooked cop Barney Nolan, who murders a bookie in that alley I just mentioned and rips him off for 25 grand. Apartently, this isn’t the first time Nolan’s killed, with the…

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