Late Night Retro Television Review: Baywatch Nights 1.13 “Payback”


Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Tuesdays, I will be reviewing Baywatch Nights, a detective show that ran in Syndication from 1995 to 1997.  The entire show is currently streaming on Youtube!

This week …. eh, I don’t know.  This is a messy episode.  Geraldo Rivera is in it for some reason.

Episode 1.13 “Payback”

(Dir by Reza Badiyi, originally aired on February 17th, 1996)

This episode was a mess.  It’s hard to know where to even start.

In a reminder that Baywatch Nights, during the second half of its first season, was trying to be more like the show it was spun off from, this episode begins with an extended sequence featuring a woman in a yellow bikini.  She swims.  She walks along the beach.  She washes the sand out of her hair in one of those beach showers.  And then an unseen person shoots her in the neck and the camera lingers on her body for an uncomfortable amount of time.  The mix of sex and violence doesn’t feel particularly appropriate for a show that, at its best, is essentially just a goofy detective show.

After this opening, we are presented with Ryan and Mitch at some sort of party.  Ryan has just come back from Catalina and, just as I would do, she took some Dramamine so she wouldn’t get car sick.  Unfortunately, she has a little bit too much champagne at the party and is soon in a daze.  Mitch takes her back to his place where Ryan demands to know why he’s never tried to “jump all over” her.  Ryan then strips down to her underwear and ends up in Mitch’s bed.

Mitch, it should be said, is a total gentleman and sleeps on the couch.  But, the next morning, he decides that it would be fun to keep Ryan in suspense as to whether or not they had sex the night before.

To any men reading: DO NOT DO THIS!

Seriously, this joke is totally out of character for Mitch.  For that matter, it’s a bit out of character for Ryan as well.  (Everything we’ve learned about Ryan would suggest that she would be smart enough to know better than to mix Dramamine and champagne.)  David Hasselhoff and Angie Harmon did have a likable chemistry.  It’s a shame that the show tried to rush things with stuff like this instead of letting it develop naturally.

As for the show’s plot, there are actually two cases.  The lesser of the two features Garner helping out a young photographer named Griff Walker (Eddie Cibrian).  Griff accidentally got a picture of a model’s murder and he’s worried that murderers are after him.  Garner confronts the model’s ex and tells him to back off on trying to intimidate Griff.  It’s a weird plotline that was obviously only included to introduce the character of Griff.  (This is the third episode to feature Cibrian in the opening credits but the first to actually feature his character.)

Meanwhile, a reporter named Albert Romero (Geraldo Rivera …. yes, the one and only) comes to Mitch after some mobsters kidnap his wife, Bobbie (Meilani Paul).  Bobbie was previously being used to smuggle drugs.  Now, they want to use her to smuggle a bomb.  Fortunately, the mobsters are pretty dumb and Mitch is easily able to thwart them.  Unfortunately, this storyline features a lot of Geraldo.  As anyone who has ever watched him do anything can tell you, Geraldo Rivera is a person who is incapable of sounding natural or sincere.  Everything about him is calculated and over-rehearsed and that certainly comes through in his performance here.  Only Geraldo Rivera could make overacting boring.

As I said, this was a messy and way too busy episode.  It’s also one that nearly sabotaged the most appealing part of the show, Ryan and Mitch’s friendship.  I can’t wait until the UFOs and the sea monsters and the Vikings show up during the second season.

Lisa Marie’s Week In Television: 1/28/24 — 2/3/24


This previous week …. bleh.  Let’s just take a look at what I watched.

The Bachelor (Monday Night, ABC)

Eh.  I’m pretty lukewarm on the new bachelor.  He seems like a nice guy but he’s kind of boring.

Baywatch Nights (YouTube)

I reviewed Baywatch Nights here!

Check it Out (Tubi)

I’m running behind but I’ll have a review of this week’s episode up sometime on Sunday.

CHiPs (Freevee)

I reviewed CHiPs here!

Degrassi Junior High (YouTube)

I reviewed Degrassi here!

Fantasy Island (YouTube)

I reviewed Fantasy Island here!

Football (Sunday)

Did I watched two football games on Sunday?  According to my notes, Jeff and I watched two playoff games but I’ll be darned if I can tell you a dang thing about either one of them.

Friday the 13th (YouTube)

I’m running behind but I’ll have a review of this week’s episode up sometime on Sunday.

Happy Hour (YouTube)

I watched an episode of this old 90s game show on Saturday morning.  Dweezil and Ahmet Zappa asked bizarre questions to celebrities.  Dweezil was cool but Ahmet was like the hyperactive cousin that no one wants to deal with at the family reunion.  Amongst the celebrities were Chuck Woolery, Alexandra Paul, Patton Oswalt, and that “Let’s Get Ready To Rumble” ring announcer dude.

Highway to Heaven (Freevee)

I wrote about this week’s episode here!

Judge Dad (YouTube)

On Sunday, I watched an episode in which Judge Dad dealt with a woman who claimed her Canadian husband only married her for a visa.  Judge Dad interrupted the show so he could do a commercial for some sort of special food delivery system.  I followed this episode with an episode in which Judge Dad admonished a man for slashing his ex’s tires.  Both episodes featured the same disclosure.  Judge Dad is not a lawyer and the cases are fiction.

Law & Order (Thursday Night, NBC)

I got caught up with the first three episodes of the new season this week.  I am really impressed by Reid Scott, who is this season’s newest cast member.  He and Mehcad Brooks are working well together and Brooks, for his part, is no longer quite as stiff as he was the previous season.  Sam Waterston, bless him, is obviously not in the best of health and I really hope he retires after this season and enjoys life.  So far, Nolan Price appears to have mellowed out, especially when compared to previous two seasons.  But what has happened to Maroun?  She was finally showing some sparks of having a personality at the end of the previous season but now, she’s back to being a humorless scold who wears too much lipstick.

The first three episodes of the new season were all fairly good.  I cringe whenever the blue collar cops on Law & Order start talking like MSNC pundits (and I still laugh whenever I remember last season’s “Did you all see Morning Joe?”).  Law & Order will probably never be the beacon of quality that it once was but this season is off to a good start.

The Love Boat (Paramount Plus)

I reviewed the third season finale here!

Miami Vice (Tubi)

I reviewed Miami Vice here!

Monsters (Tubi)

I wrote about Monsters here!

Sally Jessy Raphael (YouTube)

Sally talked to women who felt their marriage were in trouble.  All of the husband were total deadbeats.  One guy came out on stage wearing his uniform from McDonald’s.  I’m sure the bosses were really happy about that.

So Here’s What Happened (YouTube)

I wrote about this obscure pilot here!

Square Pegs (YouTube)

This was a sitcom from the early 80s, about two girls trying to be popular in high school.  I watched the pilot on Friday night and I smiled a few times.  Trying to fit in is a timeless subject.  One of the girls was played by Sarah Jessica Parker, who I love because, like me, she’s a part of the Big Nose Crew.  BNC FOREVER!

T and T (Tubi)

I wrote about T and T here!

Welcome Back, Kotter (Tubi)

I wrote about it here!

Late Night Retro Television Reviews: Baywatch Nights 1.12 “Thin Blood”


Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Tuesdays, I will be reviewing Baywatch Nights, an detective show that ran in Syndication from 1995 to 1997.  The entire show is currently streaming on Youtube!

You guys know the drill.  Thanks to the Vicodin I took earlier, I spent Tuesday in a bit of a daze.  So, I’m running late with my review of Baywatch Nights.  Fear not!  Here it is:

Episode 1.12 “Thin Blood”

(Dir by Georg Fenady, originally aired on February 10th, 1996)

Ryan’s sister has come to Los Angeles!

Charlie McBride (Laura Harring) claims that she’s just in town to see her sister but Ryan has her doubts.  Charlie has always been the irresponsible member of the family and Ryan can only watch helplessly as Charlie and Mitch pursue a tentative romance.  Since this is a Baywatch spin-off, that means that Charlie and Mitch spend a lot of time on jet skis.  It’s not true love unless you get on the jet skis.  Charlie also takes the time reveal that Ryan could have been a model and a pageant winner if she hadn’t abandoned everything to be a private eye.  To that, I say, “Well, yeah.  She’s Angie Harmon.”

However, it turns out that Ryan was correct.  Some New York criminals are in town, searching for the money that they claim Charlie stole from them.  They’re even willing to kidnap Ryan and hold her hostage until they get their money back.  Once again, it’s up to Mitch and Garner to do their thing and rescue Ryan.  Interestingly enough, they manage to do so pretty easily.  This is one of those episodes where the bad guys are so incompetent that they are pretty much doomed from the start.  David Hasselhoff may have captured them but Billy Warlock and Erika Eleniak probably could have done the job just as easily.  Hell, I bet Parker Stevenson could have done it.  Maybe even Kelly Ward.

Anyway, the emphasis here is on Ryan and her feelings of resentment towards her sister and her feelings for Mitch.  Though it was pretty much abandoned once the show became an X-Files rip-off during the second season, the first season of Baywatch Nights really tried to play up the will they or won’t they aspect of Ryan and Mitch’s relationship.  There really wasn’t much suspense about that.  Angie Harmon and David Hasselhoff had a likable chemistry but it was a brother/sister type of relationship.  There was nothing romantic about it, at least not in 49 of the 50 states.  Ryan liked Mitch but she also knew she could do better.  That was why Ryan was such a cool character.

This was a pretty forgettable episode, one that was really only interesting for a chance to see Laura Harring play the same type of role she would later play to far different effect in David Lynch’s Mulholland Drive.  It’s late so I’m going to leave it at that.  Baywatch Nights needs to hurry up and bring on the aliens and the vampires or the sea monsters!

Lisa Marie’s Week In Television: 1/21/24 — 1/27/24


Here’s some thoughts on what I watched this week!

Acting Sheriff (YouTube)

I wrote about Acting Sheriff here!

The Bachelor (Monday Night, ABC)

A new season of The Bachelor started this week.  After skipping the previous few installments of this franchise, I did watch the first episode of the latest season.  The new bachelor is kind of dull but I enjoyed seeing the mansion and all of the clothes.  Jesse is kind of a boring host.  The Bachelor hasn’t been fun since Chris Harrison was fired for upsetting the online horde.

Baywatch Nights (YouTube)

I wrote about Baywatch Nights here!

Check It Out (Tubi)

My review of Check It Out may be an hour or two late this week.  It’s been a busy day.

CHiPs (Freevee)

I wrote about CHiPs here!

Couples Court With The Cutlers (YouTube)

On Sunday, I watched an episode in which the Cutlers talked to a woman who was accused of cheating on her fiancée with her husband.  What?  Yes, it was confusing and silly and the fact that the fiancée had a high-pitched, cartoon character voice did not help matters.  This was one of those episodes where they brought in the “voice analysist” to determine who was lying.  Considering that everyone on the show had a terrible voice, I did not envy the analysist.  That said, I also have a hard time understanding how voice analysis can be used in the place of a polygraph.  Anyway, no one was cheating according to their voices.

I followed this up with an episode in which a husband accused his wife of cheating because of muddy footprints that he found in his home.  The wife was not cheating and the husband was a bit of a paranoid freak.

Later, I watched an episode in which a man felt that his wife was cheating on him because she was no longer wearing sexy underwear around him, despite the fact that he kept finding brand new thongs in the laundry.  The lie detector indicated that she was indeed cheating.  The wife, at one point, said that she felt like she was “starring in a romantic comedy with Will Smith.”

Then, tonight, I watched an episode in which a woman thought her much older husband was cheating on her with her best friend because she found her friend in their bed.  Fortunately, it turned out that the husband was faithful and the best friend was just a blackout drunk.

Degrassi Junior High (YouTube)

I wrote about Degrassi Junior High here!

Extended Family (Tuesday Night, NBC)

I had no interest in watching this show but I was watching Peacock on Wednesday night and I was too lazy to switch to another streaming service when the show automatically started.  Jon Cryer plays a divorced father in Boston who is still friends with his ex-wife and her new fiancé.  Why is everything always set in Boston?  Seriously, who care about freaking Boston?

Anyway, I was so lazy that I ended up watching the first two episodes and they were both pretty dire.  The “created by Mike O’Malley” credit card explained why.  Cryer, our beloved Duckie, is even more pathetic here than he was as wimpy Alan on Two and a Half Men.  (Disclaimer: I think I’ve seen like five episodes of Two and A Half Men, maybe six.)  It’s sad to think that NBC has gone from The Office to Night Court/Extended Family.

Fantasy Island (YouTube)

I wrote about Fantasy Island here!

Friday the 13th (YouTube)

I wrote about Friday the 13th here!

Hell’s Kitchen (Thursday Night, Fox)

I was so happy Ryan won!  This was one of Hell’s Kitchen’s best seasons.  While Big Brother, Survivor, and even The Amazing Race have struggled to remain relevant in our new, post-COVID age, Hell’s Kitchen succeeds by not messing with what works.

Highway to Heaven (Tubi)

I wrote about Highway to Heaven here!

Judge Dad (YouTube)

I watched two episodes of this courtroom show on Monday.  The very slow-talking judge heard a case about a woman who wanted another woman to pay for her $900 Prada dress.  The second case involved a woman who felt that her ex owed her some sort of compensation for giving her COVID.  The second case bothered me because the judge’s ruling didn’t seem to follow any sort of legal precedent.  I then noticed a disclaimer that stated that 1) Judge Dad was not a legal expert but just some guy making his own decisions and 2) the litigants were actors and the cases were all fictional.

On Tuesday, I watched an episode in which a tenant sued her landlord for setting up spy cameras in her apartment and “recording me in my lingerie.”  Judge Dad was particularly upset by this case.  “I feel like you are my daughter!” he thundered, “You must make better decision about where you live!”  The landlord was really, really sleazy and disgusting but again, the whole thing was fictional so …. yeah.

Judge Mom (YouTube)

On Wednesday, I watched an episode of Judge Dad‘s companion series, Judge Mom.  A young comic book artist accused an older artist of stealing his ideas.  Judge Mom found in favor of the younger artist.  Just as with Judge Dad, the episode ended with a disclaimed that “Judge Mom is not a legal expert” and the case was fictional.  The acting on Judge Mom was far less convincing than the acting on Judge Dad.

It was just bad enough that I had to watch a second episode.  This one featured a set of parents suing a little league team for “firing” their son from the team.  Judge Mom was offended by how petty all of the adults were.  Little league is supposed to be about the kids!  You tell ’em, Judge Mom!

The Love Boat (Paramount Plus)

I wrote about The Love Boat here!

Miami Vice (Tubi)

I wrote about Miami Vice here!

Monsters (Tubi)

I wrote about Monsters here!

Night Court (Tuesday Night, NBC)

It’s weird.  This is a badly conceived show that rarely even makes me smile and yet it’s something that I find myself watching on Peacock whenever I’m bored and I don’t have time to watch anything that runs longer than 21 minutes.  I don’t know why this is, because I really don’t care much for the show and it’s only gotten worse in its second season.  I think the problem is that Abby Stone is way too naive to be a judge and her nonstop enthusiasm can be a bit hard to take.  For instance, this week’s episode featured her still trying to get over breaking up with her boyfriend and obsessing over her inability to get a date.  That story had comedic potential but seriously, Abby’s a judge.  IN NEW YORK CITY!  Toughen up!

Paternity Court (YouTube)

I watched an episode on Monday.  Fortunately, the former army officer who had just returned from deployment was the father.

T and T (Tubi)

I wrote about T and T here!

Welcome Back, Kotter (Tubi)

I wrote about Welcome Back, Kotter here!

Late Night Retro Television Reviews: Baywatch Nights 1.11 “Takeover”


Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Tuesdays, I will be reviewing Baywatch Nights, an detective show that ran in Syndication from 1995 to 1997.  The entire show is currently streaming on Youtube!

This week, Baywatch Nights reboots for the first time and gets a brand new opening.

Episodes 1.11 “Takeover”

(Dir by Georg Fenady, originally aired on February 3rd, 1996)

This week’s episode opens with Mitch arriving at Nights early in the morning.  Ryan and Garner are waiting for him and so are all of the club’s waitresses.  Some expositional dialogue establishes that Lou Raymond has sold Nights to “D.M. Marco.”  The waitresses are waiting to see if they still have jobs.  Ryan, Garner, and Mitch are waiting so that they can re-sign a lease for their detective agency….

Eleven episodes into the first season and Baywatch Nights has already rebooted itself!  It’s usually not a good sign when a show drastically changes its format or starts writing out old characters and replacing them with new people.  Usually, when this happens, it’s because the show’s rating have suddenly declined and the producers are desperately trying to inject some new life into things.  It’s never a good sign when something like this happens before the first season is even halfway finished.

As Mitch waits, a blonde wearing a short but not particularly flattering blue dress steps into the club.  Mitch assumes that she’s a waitress and starts hitting on her.  Ha ha!  Joke’s on you, Mitch!  She’s Donna Marco (Donna D’Errico) and she’s your new landlord and a new regular on the show!  Mitch is stunned to discover that women can be successful in business.  This kind of goes against everything that the viewer has previously learned about Mitch but whatever.  It’s a reboot!  It’s a new world!  And now Mitch is apparently one of those guys who is left with his mouth agape over the idea of a woman being the boss.

As for this week’s case, it’s also about business.  Someone is targeting the executives of a company called Rancor.  Two of those executives went to high school with Mitch so he’s not going to let anyone kill them.  That said, a lot of executives who don’t have a previous Mitch connection do end up dying.  In fact, this episode has the highest body count of Baywatch Nights so far.  At first, Mitch assumes that the murders are being orchestrated by a corporate raider who wants to take over the business and who has apparently never learned how to buy stock.  But instead, the murderer turns out to be a blonde executive named Nicki (Sandra Hess), who blames the company for death of her father.  Despite her murderous ways, there are some sparks of romance between Nicki and Mitch but that comes to an end when Nicki blows herself up while trying to take out the final Rancor executive.

This was a weird episode, as the pacing felt off and the story was far more violent than any of the ones that came before it.  At one point, Mitch gets a favor from an IRS agent by promising him a date with Donna and that just felt really icky.  There’s another extended scene where both a businessman and the show’s cameraman spends several minutes leering at Ryan’s legs and again, it just felt off.  Previously, the show had never been shy about showing off Angie Harmon’s legs and, speaking as someone who enjoys showing off her own legs, there’s nothing wrong with that but, in this particular episode, it crosses the line from being appreciative to being tacky.  One could tell that the show’s producers brainstormed and couldn’t come up with anything better than, “Let’s make Baywatch Nights more like Baywatch!”

What’s sad is that Baywatch Nights really didn’t need a reboot.  The first ten episodes were, for the most part, fun and entertaining in their vapid way.  This episode, though, feels like it’s begging for attention and that’s never a good look.  Don’t worry, though.  Not all reboots are bad, as we’ll see in another 11 episodes.  That is when we will reach season 2 of Baywatch Nights.

Lisa Marie’s Week In Television: 1/14/24 — 1/20/24


I am typing this post on a new laptop.  Woo hoo!

Here’s a few thoughts on what I watched this week:

American Nightmare (Netflix)

This was a disturbing, 3-part docuseries about a woman who was kidnapped and raped and then put on trial by the police and the media, all of whom seemed to be determined to prove that she was a real life “gone girl.”  This series was just infuriating to watch and everyone who nearly allowed Matthew Muller to get away with his crimes should be ashamed of themselves.

Baywatch Nights (YouTube)

I wrote about Baywatch Nights here!

Check It Out (Tubi)

I need to write a review about this week’s episode so I guess I better get on that.

CHiPs (Freevee)

I wrote about CHiPs here!

Couples Court With The Cutlers (YouTube)

On Friday, I watched an episode in which a man was concerned that his much younger girlfriend was cheating on him with another woman.  She confessed, while being interrogated by a former military interrogator, that he was correct.  The Cutlers were there to help this couple through the drama.

On Saturday, I discovered an entire YouTube channel dedicated to Couples Court so I probably won’t get anything accomplished for the first half of 2024.

Fantasy Island (YouTube)

I wrote about Fantasy Island here!

Friday the 13th: The Series (YouTube)

I wrote about Friday the 13th here!

Hell’s Kitchen (Thursday Night, FOX)

On Monday morning, as I shivered in the living room, I got caught up on Hell’s Kitchen and watched the first Black Jacket Service.  What a disaster that turned out to be!  I felt bad for Jonathan, who did not react well to Chef Ramsay taunting him about how much he drank before dinner service.  Jonathan had a point, in that Ramsay really was kind of making it personal.  At this point, I think the final two will be Ryan and Sammi.  I’m Team Ryan all the way!

On Thursday, I cheered as Ryan and Sammi made it to the final three.  I probably would have kept Carmen and sent Jonathan home but I can understand Ramsay’s logic.  Jonathan had more experience than Carmen and Carmen did struggle early on in the season.

The Love Boat (Paramount Plus)

I wrote about The Love Boat here!

Miami Vice (Tubi)

I wrote about Miami Vice here!

Maury (YouTube)

On Sunday, I watched an episode with DNA results.  All of the episodes of Maury to blend together, which I guess is the appeal of them.  They demand very little on the part of the viewers.

Monsters (Tubi)

I wrote about Monsters here!

Night Court (Tuesday Night, NBC)

I was actually bored enough on Wednesday to watch the first four episodes of this show’s second season.  While the ensemble seems to be gelling a bit better than they did during the first season, Night Court just isn’t that funny.  Every joke sounds like it’s been sitting in some writer’s idea drawer since 2005.

Poochinski (YouTube)

I wrote about Poochinski here!

Steve Wilkos Show (YouTube)

On Sunday, I watched an episode in which Steve talked to a pregnant 17 year-old.  She thought her boyfriend was 25.  It turned out he was 38!  Needless to say, Steve kicked him off the stage while the audience chanted Steve’s name.

On Thursday, I watched an episode about threesomes that led to pregnancies.  The audience loved it but Steve seemed to be disappointed by everyone on his stage.

T and T (Tubi)

I wrote about T and T here!

Welcome Back, Kotter (Tubi)

I wrote about Welcome Back Kotter here!

Late Night Retro Television Reviews: Baywatch Nights 1.10 “Kind of a Drag”


Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Tuesdays, I will be reviewing Baywatch Nights, an detective show that ran in Syndication from 1995 to 1997.  The entire show is currently streaming on Youtube!

Episode 1.10 “Kind of a Drag”

(Dir by Bernard L. Kowalski, originally aired on December 2nd, 1995)

Someone is putting on a dress and a rubber Richard Nixon mask and attacking drag performers!  After one performer is pulled out of the ocean (“It’s a wig!” a lifeguard shouts after pulling off the performer’s blonde hair), Mitch, Garner, and Ryan are hired to discover what’s going on.

They suspect that the attacker could be Duncan Valentine (Stuart Fratkin), the son of a former sitcom star who is trying to put together a movie about her life.  (His mother’s catchphrase was, “Wait until your father comes home!”)  Needless to say, someone is going to have to go undercover as a drag performer to catch the killer.  Which means that it’s time for Ryan to give Mitch a makeover!

Garner also goes undercover as Whoopi Goldberg but we don’t really get to see much of him in his red dress and wig.

While Mitch is performing a song, the assailant in the Richard Nixon mask shoots him!  No worries.  Mitch is wearing a bullet-proof vest.  What does worry me is that the assailant then heads to the dressing room but no one bothers to call the police or follow him down there.  Are they trying to catch this guy or not?  Instead, everyone gathers around Mitch to make sure that he’s okay.  Eventually, Ryan does say, “Call 911,” but I’m not sure why you would wait so long to do that when there’s a gun-toting maniac in the same building as you.

Anyway, it turns out that Duncan is innocent.  Instead, the assailant is revealed to be a drag performer who is upset that he wasn’t cast as Duncan’s mother in the biopic.

This episode was …. actually, considering that it’s from the 90s, it could have been worse.  Yes, a good deal of the show is taken up with scenes of David Hasselhoff struggling to walk in heels and revealing that no one has ever taught him the right way to sit down while wearing a short skirt.  (Ryan really should have given him some advice as far as that’s concerned.)  And yes, Mitch’s girlfriend did happen walk in on Mitch while he was wearing a dress.  (Fortunately, she’s thrilled to discover that Mitch is getting in touch with his feminine side.)  And yes, the villain did turn out to be a deranged drag performer who apparently believed that he actually was Duncan Valentine’s mother.  However, for the most part, the show did treat the other drag performers with respect and it didn’t attempt to play the attacks on them for laughs.  Mitch, Garner, and Ryan treat them like they would any other clients.  In 1995, that was probably the best anyone could expect.

Next week, the show undergoes the first of many format changes!

Lisa Marie’s Week In Television: 1/7/24 — 1/13/24


I’m sitting here as a cold front rolls through my town.  The temperature is way below freezing and it will remain that way for at least the next three days.  So, I look forward to hiding underneath a lot of blankets and watching a lot of TV between now and Thursday morning.

Here’s some thoughts on what I watched this week:

Baywatch Nights (YouTube)

I wrote about Baywatch Nights here!

Check It Out (Tubi)

My review of Check It Out will be dropping later tonight.

CHiPs (Freevee)

I wrote about CHiPs here!

Degrassi Junior High (YouTube)

My review of Degrassi Junior High will (finally) post tomorrow!  Keep hope alive!

Dr. Phil (YouTube)

On Tuesday afternoon, I had a two-part episode of Dr. Phil on as background nose.  Dr. Phil was talking to people who felt their sons and daughters had been brainwashed by a cult in Louisiana.  And indeed, they had been.  Cults are weird.  I never know how to react to people who fall for that stuff.

Fantasy Island (YouTube)

I wrote about Fantasy Island here!

Friday the 13th (YouTube)

I wrote about Friday the 13th here!

Highway to Heaven (YouTube)

I wrote about Highway to Heaven here!

The Love Boat (Paramount Plus)

I wrote about The Love Boat here!

Maury (YouTube)

On Friday, I used two paternity tests episodes of Maury for background noise while I was watching.  I feel very disappointed in myself.  On Saturday, I disappointed myself even further by watching an episode of Maury that featured lie detector tests.

Miami Vice (Tubi)

I wrote about Miami Vice here!

Monsters (Tubi)

I wrote about Monsters here!

Night Flight (Night Flight Plus)

On Friday, I watched an episode of this show from the 90s.  It featured music video profiles of The Kinks and The Cure, along with a tour of Universal Studios.

Sally Jessy Raphael (YouTube)

I watched an episode of this ancient talk show on Thursday.  Sally talked to kids who were being bullied and then confronted the bullies on the air.  I felt bad for all of the bullied kids, except for the one who said being bulled made him hate America.  If that’s how you feel, move.

On Friday, I watched an episode about women who could not forgive their men for cheating.  I don’t blame them but I bet half of them ended up marrying the guy anyways.

Saved By The Bell (Sunday Morning, MeTV)

Casey Kasem hosted a dance contest and encouraged everyone to do the sprain.  Jessie freaked out because a short guy wanted to date her.  A new substitute teacher taught everyone to appreciate Shakespeare.  Wow, this was a dumb but addictive show.

The Steve Wilkos Show (YouTube)

On Tuesday afternoon, I put on an episode of Steve Wilkos for background noise.  Steve was screaming at a woman who he felt was an unfit mother.  And who knows?  Maybe she was an unfit mother.  But Steve definitely came across as being a bully and his chanting audience didn’t help matters.

On Saturday morning, I watched an episode in which Wilkos threw several chairs across the stage while the crowd chanted, “Steve!  Steve!  Steve!”

T and T (Tubi)

I wrote about T and T here!

Turn-On! (YouTube)

I wrote about the second episode of Turn-On! here!

TV 2000 (Night Flight Plus)

On Friday night, I watched an episode of this old music video show.  The episode was from 1985 and it featured a lot of good music, along with some slightly annoying hosts.

Welcome Back Kotter (Tubi)

I wrote about Welcome Back, Kotter here!

Late Night Retro Television Reviews: Baywatch Nights 1.9 “Blues Boys”


Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Tuesdays, I will be reviewing Baywatch Nights, an detective show that ran in Syndication from 1995 to 1997.  The entire show is currently streaming on Youtube!

This week, Mitch considers the blues!

Episode 1.9 “Blues Boy”

(Dir by Reza Badiyi, originally aired on November 25th, 1995)

Lyle Logan (Michael Preston) is a 13 year-old musical prodigy who plays a guitar on the Malibu Pier with his guardian, Ned Simon (Greg Wrangler).  Seven years earlier, Lyle witnessed the murder of his father by his Uncle Willie (Nathan Cavaleri).  Now, Uncle Willie has just been released from prison and he’s searching for Lyle because he believes that Lyle knows where his father stashed the money from a robbery.

Uncle Willie has his men abduct Ned, planning on using him for leverage to get to his nephew.  Lyle approaches Mitch and hires the detective agency to track Ned down.  However, Mitch, Ryan and Garner are more interested in learning the truth about Lyle’s background.  Though Lyle at first refuses to open up and even tries to run away when Mitch asks him about his background, Lyle eventually comes to trust the group.  Together, they save Lyle from Uncle Willie.  As for the stash of money, it’s in a first aid kit that breaks apart when it’s tossed into the ocean.  The money watches up on the beach, where everyone goes crazy trying to grab some for themselves.

This was a pretty simple episode.  In fact, it was a struggle to come up with 200 words to say about the plot.  There’s not a lot going on, beyond Lyle running up and down the pier and Uncle Willie-looking evil.  The only thing that kept this from being an episode of Baywatch was the presence of Angie Harmon and the lack of red bathing suits.  In many ways, this episode highlights one of the biggest problems for Baywatch Nights.  Far too often, the show just feels like a detective-themed episode of Baywatch (a show that actually did feature several detective-themed episodes both before and after the Baywatch Nights experiment).  This episode, for instance, barely features any scenes that take place at night.  Mitch does most of his investigating during the day, which is when he really should be working as a lifeguard.

The episode’s inability to escape the shadow of its parent show is exemplified by a scene that occurs about halfway through the episode.  We get an extended sequence in which Ryan, Garner, and Mitch listen to Lyle play his guitar and they all have flashbacks to their past.  Ryan’s memories deal with being the daughter of a navy officer.  Garner remembers tossing a football back and forth with his father.  And Mitch …. well, Mitch just has Baywatch flashbacks.  It’s one of those silly, overly earnest scenes that one expects to find any production starring David Hasselhoff.  (And the montage is, of course, scored by the Hoff singing a song.)  Still, it’s hard not to notice that, while Ryan and Garner both have a past, Mitch just has another television show.

The episode ends with Lyle meeting and playing with B.B. King.  Hopefully, B.B. adopted the kid.  Seriously, he had been through a lot.

Lisa Marie’s Week In Television: 12/31/23 — 1/6/24


Happy 2024!

Baywatch Nights (YouTube)

I wrote about Baywatch Nights here!

Check It Out! (Tubi)

My review of this week’s episode will be dropping soon.

CHiPs (Freevee)

I wrote about CHiPs here!

Dr. Phil (YouTube)

I watched way too much Dr. Phil this week.  Most of them were episodes that I had already seen before and, as I sit here writing this up just 30 minutes before deadline, I’m struggling to remember much about any of them.  I do remember that I rewatched the Truthfully Tricia episode.  That was a wild one.  As obnoxious as Tricia was, I do feel that Phil went out of his way to goad her into having a meltdown on his stage.  I mean, he really wanted her to do the dramatic walk-off.

Fantasy Island (YouTube)

I wrote about Fantasy Island here!

Forgive or Forget (YouTube)

“I can forgive but I will not forget!”

Uhmm, it sounds like someone needs to look at the name of the show that they’re on.  Pick one or the other!

Friday the 13th: The Series (YouTube)

I wrote about Friday the 13th here!

Hell’s Kitchen (Thursday Night, FOX)

I’m so glad Ryan got a black jacket!  I know that Chef Ramsay said that he saw a lot of improvement in Jason and maybe he did and it was just edited out.  Just from watching the show, it’s easy to get the feeling they kept Jason around for as long as they did because they needed a good villain.  But, at the same time, Chef Ramsay isn’t really one to throw around false praise, either.  His brand is being critical and angry so, when he’s not, that usually means something.

Highway to Heaven (Tubi)

I wrote about Highway to Heaven here!

The Love Boat (Paramount Plus)

I wrote about The Love Boat here!

Miami Vice (Tubi)

I wrote about Miami Vice here!

Monsters (Tubi)

I wrote about Monsters here!

Night Flight (Night Flight Plus)

On Friday night, I watched an episode that was all about songs from the 80s that were about working out and the human body.  I followed this with an episode about the best indie music videos of 2023.  Some of the videos were really good!

Password (Weekday afternoons, BUZZR)

I watched two episodes of this extremely frustrating old game show on Tuesday.  Like seriously, how hard was it to guess some of those passwords that they used on that show?

Tattletales (Weekday Mornings, BUZZR)

I watched two episodes of this old game show on Tuesday.  William Shatner and his then-wife were on one episode.  They didn’t do very well.

Turn-On (YouTube)

I wrote about Turn-On here.  I thought I was done with Turn-On but a friend in Australia informs me that it turns out that the unaired second episode is also on YouTube.  And, as we all know, I am a completist….

Twilight Zone (Monday, SyFy and H&I)

The New Year’s Twilight Zone marathon finished up on Monday.  What a great show!  I think The Monsters Are Due On Maple Street is one of the most perfect 30 minute programs ever aired.  I also love the episode where Dennis Weaver keeps having the same dream over and over again.

Welcome Back Kotter (Tubi)

I wrote about Welcome Back Kotter here!