Andrew Dice Clay | Through the Shattered Lens

What’s an Insomnia File? You know how some times you just can’t get any sleep and, at about three in the morning, you’ll find yourself watching whatever you can find on cable? This feature is all about those insomnia-inspired discoveries!

If you had insomnia at one in the morning, you could have turned over to Starz Comedy and watched the 1988 comedy, Casual Sex? That’s what I just did!

I have to admit that I’m a little bit surprised that this is the first insomnia file that I’ve written since last July. It’s not like I haven’t had insomnia between then and now. However, I guess I’ve been busy either going on vacation, writing about horror movies, writing about the Oscars, or, of course, writing about reality TV over at the Big Brother Blog and Reality TV Chat Blog. That said, I’ve always enjoyed writing these insomnia files and I’m happy to finally have the chance to do a new one.

I’m also happy to have the chance to write about a film called Casual Sex?, if just because I know that it will lead to the site getting a lot of hits from people doing google searches. They probably won’t actually be looking for a movie review but a hit is a hit!

Anyway, Casual Sex? is an 80s film. In fact, it’s such an 80s film that it probably spent the 90s recovering from an expensive coke habit. It’s a film about two best friends who have decided that they’re tired of being single. Stacy (Lea Thompson) is the promiscuous one, the one who has had many partners, has gotten involved in way too many needy relationships, and who is now freaking out over the spread of AIDS. Melissa (Victoria Jackson) is the sweet but ditzy one. Melissa has had boyfriends but she’s never had an orgasm. When Stacy tells her about an article she read about AIDS, Melissa replies that at least now she’s “not the only one who is afraid of sex.” Hoping to each find a permanent mate, Stacy and Melissa go to a health spa. Stacy immediately falls madly in love with Nick (Stephen Shellen), an aspiring musician. Melissa, meanwhile, meets the sensitive and sweet-natured Jamie (Jerry Levine), who works at the spa and gives a killer massage. Meanwhile, an annoying guy named Vinny (Andrew Dice Clay) pursues both of them and everyone else as well.

(Vinny leers at every woman that he sees and prefers to be known as the Vin Man. I know, I know. It’s hard to believe that he’s still single.)

Casual Sex? actually get off to a really good start. It opened with both Stacy and Melissa standing on an empty stage and discussing their sexual histories. Usually, I cringe whenever a movie opens with a character standing on a blank stage and talking directly to the audience. It usually feels like a lazy storytelling technique to me. (Can’t figure out a natural way to let the audience know a character’s backstory? Have them talk to directly to the audience! It’s easy and lazy!) But in Casual Sex?, this technique actually works. Lea Thompson and Victoria Jackson both give very natural and believable performances and the flashbacks to their previous experiences are all well-done and sometimes painfully relatable. Despite the fact that the film was made 30 years ago, their experiences and emotions felt timeless.

After that strong opening, the rest of the film was much more uneven. I have to admit that I had trouble telling how much of the film was meant to be satirical and how much of it was just a reflection of the time in which it was made. For instance, I wasn’t sure if I was supposed to be rolling my eyes at Nick, with his feathered hair and his overdramatic style of singing, or if that was just what was considered to be hot in the 80s. It was very confusing but, regardless of whether it was intentional or not, it was hard to take Nick seriously as anything more than a plot device. As a result, it was difficult to care about his relationship with Stacy. Melissa’s relationship with Jamie was far more interesting, largely because Jerry Levine was so likable in the role.

(Just in case anyone was wondering, Casual Sex? does feature a lot of sex but very little of it feels casual. Perhaps that’s why the title ends with a question mark. “Casual sex?” the film asks before answering, “No.”)

The film was ultimately too uneven to really be considered to be a success but I actually enjoyed it more than I thought I would. That was largely because of the performances of Lea Thompson, Victoria Jackson, and Jerry Levine. There’s a few scenes where Vinny drops his bluster and reveals a sensitive side and Andrew Dice Clay does well with these scenes but, ultimately, it’s hard to like anyone known as The Vin Man. I mean, he even has “Vin Man” written on the back of his jacket. Strangely, Clay’s performance here felt like an early version of his performance in Blue Jasmine, almost as if the Vin Man eventually changed his name to Augie and ended up marrying the sister-in-law of a Ponzi scheme manager.

Casual Sex? may not be great but it’s good enough for when you’re awake at one in the morning.

Previous Insomnia Files:

“Blane! That’s not a name, that’s a major appliance!” — Duckie (Jon Cryer) in Pretty In Pink (1986)

(SPOILERS!)

Blane or Duckie? Duckie or Blane? Which one should Andi have gone to the prom with?

That’s the question at the heart of the 1986 film Pretty In Pink. In Susannah Gora’s excellent book You Couldn’t Ignore Me If You Tried (which, incidentally, has been an important source of information for this entire Back to School series of reviews), a good deal of space and debate is devoted to whether or not Andi (played by Molly Ringwald) should have ended up going to the prom with either Duckie (Jon Cryer) or Blane (Andrew McCarthy). What’s interesting is just how passionate the arguments on both side of the debate get. Those in the pro-Duckie camp, like producer Lauren Shuler Donner and director Howard Deutch, frame the debate as almost being a moral one. Those on the pro-Blane side — people like John Hughes (who wrote the film’s script) and Andrew McCarthy — make a convincing argument that the audience wanted to see Andie with Blane.

Perhaps most importantly, Molly Ringwald — who not only played Andie but upon whom the character was largely based — makes little secret of which suitor she preferred. Molly Ringwald is pro-Blane all the way.

Myself — well, I’m going to hold off on saying which side I come down on.

Both Blane and Duckie have their flaws and their strengths. Blane, for instance, comes from a wealthy family and spends too much time worrying about what his loathsome friend Steff (James Spader, who gives a wonderfully evil performance that justifies why he is quoted in Gora’s book as saying, “I figure I got a lock on this whole teen asshole thing,”) thinks. But, at the same time, Blane is obviously more sensitive than the rest of his rich friends. There’s a soulful sincerity to McCarthy’s performance and, until he breaks Andi’s heart by giving into peer pressure, he truly is every girl’s dream boyfriend.

And then there’s Duckie. As played by Jon Cryer, Duckie is the type of best friend that we all hope we’re lucky enough to have. You never have any doubt that he’ll always be there for Andie and it just takes one look at how he’s dressed to understand that Duckie doesn’t care about peer pressure. Duckie may be an outcast but, unlike Steff and Blane, he’s confident in himself. And whereas Blane is always wrestling with doubt, Duckie knows that he loves Andie. And if your heart doesn’t hurt a little when he confesses that fact to Andi, then you probably don’t have one to begin with. Add to that, as cute and charming as Blane is, you know he’d never break out into a random dance routine. Blane is no Duckie but, at the same time, Duckie is also no Blane.

And who Andie should take with her to the prom (or if she should even go at all) is an important question because, if anyone deserves to have the perfect prom, it’s Andie. Not only does she work hard to support her alcoholic and depressed father (the great Harry Dean Stanton) but she has great taste in music (or, at least, she does for someone living in the 80s) and she makes her own clothes. One reason why we love Blane is because he discovers that, even if Andie isn’t rich, she’s still the most interesting girl in the entire school. One reason why we love Duckie is because he didn’t have to discover this. He already knew it.

The film, of course, originally ended with Blane giving into peer pressure and canceling his date with Andie. Andie is heart-broken but refuses to surrender. Wearing the pink dress that she specifically made for the event, Andie still goes to the prom and, as the film ends, she shares a dance with Duckie, the one who, all along, loved her unconditionally.

As is recounted in Gora’s book, test audiences loved the movie but hated that ending. And so, a new ending was shot. Blane shows up at the prom without a date. He apologizes to Andie. He shakes Duckie’s hand. He tells Andie that he always believed in her, he just didn’t believe in himself. (Watching at home, Lisa says, “Oh my God!” and wipes away a tear.) As he leaves, even Duckie realizes that Andie belongs with Blane. Andie and Blane are reunited in the parking lot and Duckie goes off with Kristy Swanson.

And you know what? That ending — that ending is perfect. Because yes, Duckie did love Andie but Andie loved Blane and the prom is a time to be with someone who you think you’ll love forever. (Little realizing, of course, that you’ll eventually only think of your former prom date as being that guy who keeps inviting you to play games on Facebook.) Pretty in Pink is one of the most romantic high school movies ever made and one reason it works is because the ending is all about celebrating that romance. It may not be realistic and yes, it might even be borderline immoral to allow Blane to be so easily redeemed after breaking Andie’s heart but who cares?

The wonderful thing about romance is that it doesn’t have to make sense.

It just has to be.