What Lisa Watched Last Night: The Golden Globe Awards

Posted on January 17, 2011 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Last night, I watched the annual Golden Globe Awards show.

Why Was I Watching It?

Well, I wasn’t watching it because I was expecting to see the best films and tv shows of the last year recognized. The Golden Globes are notorious for being odd and anyone who takes them too seriously needs to relax a little. The appeal of the Golden Globes is that 1) it recognizes both television and film in the same ceremony which means you get to see unexpected sights like Jim Parsons, Robert De Niro, Johnny Depp, and the cast of Glee all in the same auditorium, 2) drinks are served throughout the ceremony which means that everyone’s pretty drunk by the end of it, and 3) you can make fun of what everyone’s wearing.

What’s It About?

As the show’s host, Ricky Gervais pointed out while commenting on the odd nomination of The Tourist for Best Picture (Comedy), the show is mostly about the shadowy members of the Hollywood Foreign Press Association getting a chance to hang out with people like Angelina Jolie and Johnny Depp. And who can blame them, really? Quite honestly, if it meant I might get a chance to spend a night with Johnny Depp (or, I’ll admit it, Angelia Jolie), I’m more than willing to love The Tourist too.

What Worked

Oh my God, it was such an odd three hours. While the winners were kinda predictable and boring (how excited can you get — at this point — to see The Social Network win awards) and showed the typical tendency towards embracing the safe over the unpredictable, Ricky Gervais kept things lively. He hosted with an attitude that basically said, “My career doesn’t need your approval so fuck off, Hollywood.” It also pretty much guaranteed that Gervais will never host the Oscars. My favorite Gervais moment came early when he made the comment about secretly gay Scientologists (an obvious reference to Tom Cruise and maybe John Travolta). The way the audience gasped pretty much told you all you needed to know as far as the truth behind the joke was concerned.

Robert De Niro won the DeMille Award and gave a speech that revealed that he’s actually a human being and apparently, a somewhat bitter one at that. Also, I simply have to mention that Robert De Niro is aging really well. As opposed to…oh, I don’t know…Al Pacino, maybe?

Melissa Leo is one of my favorites actresses and it was nice to see her rewarded for The Fighter but her speech did go on and on and the only thing that saved the moment was that some genius in the control booth decided to cut to Helena Bonham Carter who had the coolest “What the fuck?” look on her face.

Angelina Jolie’s green dress was quite simply to die for and I want it because it’s the same color as my right eye. So, I’ll repeat the offer that I made earlier on twitter: whoever gets me this dress (by whatever means) can watch while I try it on and take it off. (That’s a joke, by the way! Seriously though, I so want that dress. Except, of course, I’d want to have Hello Kitty on it somewhere…)

Natalie Portman won best actress in a drama and, out of all the awards given last night, that’s really the only one I agreed with. When Portman’s name was announced, my twitter friend Jason Tarwater asked if I was doing cartwheels. Well, I didn’t do cartwheels but I did attempt to do a pirouette and wow, that was a mistake because I so twisted my ankle the wrong way and ended up in really intense pain. So, I missed Natalie’s speech but I bet it was great.

I do like the way that the Golden Globes divide their awards into a drama and a comedy section. It’s a smart idea, I think.

What Didn’t Work?

I’m not going to complain about The Social Network winning most of the awards. It’s not a bad film, at all. It’s just not the great movie that so many critics are insisting that it is. At this point, I’m not so much anti-Social Network as much as I’m just bored with it.

Al Pacino’s a great actor but seriously, I hit mute any time he wins an award. And, seriously, would it kill him to wash his hair or something before he shows up for an awards ceremony?

Justin Bieber came out and gave an award or something and I’m sorry — he’s creepy. I mean, like David Archuletta creepy. Plus, I always have to go to Wikipedia to find out whether the i or the e comes first whenever I’m trying to type out the name “Bieber”. I mean, I’m only 25 and this little punk and his fans are making me feel like an old woman complaining about “kids today.” NOT COOL, BIEBER!

Aaron Sorkin won for his overrated screenplay and I guess he’s aware that he’s got an image problem because he tried so hard to be gracious but it was kinda like when James Cameron tried to be gracious while promoting Avatar. It just didn’t work. The more humble Sorkin tried to be, the more he came across like a prick. The final insult came when he thanked the best actress nominees for being “smart” women as if that’s such an unusual thing to be. I’m assuming this was Sorkin’s attempt to show that he’s not a sexist pig but it just came across as condescending and fake. It’s interesting to contrast Sorkin’s speech with David Fincher’s speech. Fincher was far more gracious and, quite frankly, the only reason that Sorkin’s screenplay came close to working was because, as a director, Fincher kept things visually interesting so you didn’t really spend too much time thinking about how every single character in the entire freakin’ movie sounded exactly like Aaron Sorkin. Seriously, does Sorkin know anyone who doesn’t talk like him?

Was it just me or did producer Scott Rudin — while accepting best picture for The Social Network — almost seem as if he had to be reminded to thank Fincher? It’s interesting that, for all the acclaim Social Network and Sorkin have gotten, Fincher has often come close to being forgotten. Could it be because Sorkin is a card-carrying member of the Hollywood establishment while Fincher, much like Fighter’s David O. Russell and Black Swan’s Darren Aronofsky, is not?

Finally, the first winner of the night was Christian Bale. Was he deliberately trying to channel Colin Farrell last night or was it just an accident? Regardless, when it comes Colin Farrell, I prefer the real thing.

“Oh my God! Just Like Me” Moment

: “I’ll show you a pair of golden globes!”

Lessons Learned

As excited as I’ll be if Natalie Portman wins an Oscar for best actress, I will force myself not to dance.

Dallas Snubs Lisa Marie

Posted on December 17, 2010 by Lisa Marie Bowman

I’m now officially bored with groups of people voting for and handing out awards. However, I do have to mention one more film critics group that announced their “best-of-2010” selections earlier today.

The Dallas-Fort Worth Film Critics Association announced their picks and, while the winners are pretty much the same films and performances that everyone else has honored this year, I still find it fascinating that there is apparently a Dallas-Forth Worth Film Critics Association. I mean, I live in Dallas and I love my city but it’s not like we’re Los Angeles or New York. Dallas has two newspapers — the Dallas Morning News and the weekly Dallas Observer. Forth Worth has the Star Telegram and that’s about it. Of course, the towns surrounding the Dallas/Ft. Worth metroplex all have their own local papers but for the most part, everything is owned and published by the same company that puts out the Morning News. So, regardless of whether its political endorsements or film reviews, we’re not exactly dealing with a lot of editorial diversity.

And, of course, I haven’t even start to get into the main issue — which is that I’m not a member! I’m an opinionated, online film critic from North Texas! Where’s my freaking membership!? Is it because I’m a woman? That’s it, isn’t it? All you good old boys just don’t realize that the glass ceiling hasn’t just been cracked, it’s been shattered…

Oh, wait. I just visited the official site of the Dallas/Ft. Worth Film Critics Association and apparently, 11 of the 32 members are female. And apparently, once you join, you have to pay dues…

Never mind. 🙂

Plus, I noticed that Gary Cogill is a member and if you live in DFW then you know that Gary Cogill is just da man.

Anyway, here’s their list of winners:

TOP TEN:
1. The Social Network
2. The King`s Speech
3. Black Swan
4. 127 Hours
5. Winter`s Bone
6. Inception
7. The Fighter
8. True Grit
9. The Town
10. The Kids Are All Right

(Really? The Town and The Kids Are All Right make the top ten? I don’t know, maybe I should demand membership becaue it seems like they kinda need me…)

BEST PICTURE: The Social Network

BEST DIRECTOR: David Fincher, The Social Network

BEST ACTOR: James Franco, 127 Hours

BEST ACTRESS: Natalie Portman, Black Swan

BEST SUPPORTING ACTOR: Christian Bale, The Fighter

BEST SUPPORTING ACTRESS: Melissa Leo, The Fighter

BEST SCREENPLAY: The Social Network (Bleh, give a mainstream, elitist like Aaron Sorkin all the awards you want, he’s still going to hate on us for being from Texas…)

BEST FOREIGN FILM: Biutiful

BEST DOCUMENTARY: Waiting for Superman

BEST ANIMATED FILM: Toy Story 3

BEST CINEMATOGRAPHY: 127 Hours

RUSSEL SMITH AWARD: Winter`s Bone

The New York Toadsuckers Have Spoken

Posted on December 13, 2010 by Lisa Marie Bowman

As I mentioned in my last post, the New York Film Critics Circle voted on and announced their picks for the best films of the year today. Looking over the winners, all I can say is — YAWN!

Best Film:
The Social Network

Best Director:
David Fincher, The Social Network

Best Screenplay:
The Kids Are All Right

Best Actress:
Annette Bening, The Kids Are All Right

Best Actor:
Colin Firth, The King’s Speech

Best Supporting Actress:
Melissa Leo, The Fighter

Best Supporting Actor:
Mark Ruffalo, The Kids Are All Right

Best Cinematography:
Black Swan

Best Animated Film:
The Illusionist

Best Non-fiction Film:
Inside Job

Best Foreign Language Film:
Carlos

Best First Feature:
Animal Kingdom

Over on Awardsdaily.com, the response to the New York Critics was: “NO ONE wrote a better screenplay than Aaron Sorkin this year.”

(And yes, they specifically put that statement in bold print with NO ONE capitalized, just to make sure that the point came through.)

Really? NO ONE? It’s time to admit the truth — The Social Network has gone from being a movie to being a cult. Apparently, even suggesting that any other movie might deserve an honor or two this year is an act of heresy. Sorry, New York Film Critics. Prepare yourself to be eaten by lions while the Sorkinites watch and cheer.

That said, the screenplay for The Kids Are All Right had all the depth of a sitcom. And Mark Ruffalo’s supporting performance was good but nothing that couldn’t have been done by just about any other scruffy actor in Hollywood. And while Annette Bening did a good job with her role, this is the year of Natalie Portman in Black Swan, Noomi Rapace in The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo, Katie Jarvis in Fish Tank, and Jennifer Lawrence in Winter’s Bone. This was a year in which so many actresses gave unique, unexpected performances in roles that redefined the stereotypical cinematic female lead. Annette Bening was good but so many were great.

It’s also interesting to note that The Illusionist (which I haven’t seen and know very little about) was named best animated feature as opposed to the presumed favorite, Toy Story 3. Just a few months ago, the general assumption seemed to be that Toy Story 3 would easily pick up a best picture nod but it seems like that storyline’s been forgotten in all the hype surrounding The Social Network.

The L.A. Film Critics Have Spoken

Posted on December 13, 2010 by Lisa Marie Bowman

A whole lot of critics’ groups announced their picks for the best films and performances of the year today and the New York Film Critics are voting as I type. I’m on lunch from work right now so a full list will have to wait until later tonight. For now, I’m just going to share the choices made by the Los Angeles Film Critics. The L.A. Critics are one of the big three as far as critics groups are concerned.

As I’ve said before, I think professional film critics are overrated but I just love awards. And, of course, all of these December awards tend to serve as a precursor for who and what will receive Oscar nominations next year. At their best, these groups can remind Academy voters of films and performances that they might otherwise overlook. Certainly, if Jacki Weaver receives a deserved nomination for Animal Kingdom, it’ll be largely due to organizations like the National Board of Review and the L.A. Film Critics.

Anyway, since my time is limited, I’m going to simply post the winners and then add a few comments on my own.

PICTURE:

“The Social Network”
Runner-up: “Carlos”

DIRECTOR:

Olivier Assayas, “Carlos,” and David Fincher, “The Social Network” (tie)

ACTOR:

Colin Firth, “The King’s Speech”
Runner-up: Edgar Ramirez, “Carlos”

ACTRESS:

Kim Hye-ja, “Mother”
Runner-up: Jennifer Lawrence, “Winter’s Bone”

SUPPORTING ACTOR:

Niels Arestrup, “A Prophet”
Runner-up: Geoffrey Rush, “The King’s Speech”

SUPPORTING ACTRESS:

Jacki Weaver, “Animal Kingdom”
Runner-up: Olivia Williams, “The Ghost Writer”

SCREENPLAY:

Aaron Sorkin, “The Social Network”
Runner-up: David Seidler, “The King’s Speech”

FOREIGN LANGUAGE FILM:

“Carlos”
Runner-up: “Mother”

ANIMATION:

“Toy Story 3″
Runner-up: “The Illusionist”

DOCUMENTARY / NON-FICTION FILM:

“Last Train Home”
Runner-up: “Exit Through the Gift Shop”

CINEMATOGRAPHY:

Matthew Libatique, “Black Swan”
Runner-up: Roger Deakins, “True Grit”

MUSIC/SCORE:

Alexandre Desplat, “The Ghost Writer,” and Trent Reznor and Atticus Ross, “The Social Network” (tie)

PRODUCTION DESIGN:

Guy Hendrix Dyas, “Inception”
Runner-up: Eve Stewart, “The King’s Speech”

NEW GENERATION:

Lena Dunham, “Tiny Furniture”

DOUGLAS E. EDWARDS INDEPENDENT/EXPERIMENTAL FILM/VIDEO:

“Film Socialism”

LEGACY OF CINEMA AWARDS:

Serge Bromberg, “Henri-Georges Clouzot’s Inferno,” and the F.W. Murnau Foundation and Fernando Pena for the restoration of “Metropolis”

CAREER ACHIEVEMENT:

Paul Mazursky

The main news here, I guess, is just how well foreign language films did in the voting. I haven’t seen Carlos and seeing as how I’m basically in fly-over country, I doubt I’ll get a chance to see it before the Oscar nominations are announced. I do have Mother on DVD and I’m going to watch it sometime before the start of the new year. It’s also nice to see some attention being given to A Prophet.

Obviously, I’m disappointed not to see more love for Black Swan but I guess it’s to be expected as Black Swan is one of those films that people either love madly or hate with a passion. I think that’s why The Social Network will win big at the Oscars this year. It’s well-made and offensive only if you’re 1) female or 2) Mark Zuckerberg.

The National Board Of Review: I Give Up!

Posted on December 2, 2010 by Lisa Marie Bowman

The rather enigmatic National Board of Review announced their selections for the best films of 2010 today. The NBR is traditionally considered to be the first precursor to how the actual Oscar race will shape up. Typically, those honored by the NBR are, at the very least, nominated by the Academy. Strangely, nobody seems to be sure just who exactly makes up the membership of the NBR. As far as I can tell, it appears to be a collection of film professors and cable tv executives. It wouldn’t surprise me to discover that the NBR is actually some sort of Illuminati conspiracy or MK-Ultra experiment designed to keep American filmgoers from thinking for themselves.

Anyway, as I look over this year’s award winners, all I can say is that I give up. If my reaction to Avatar indicated to me that I’m totally out-of-step with mainstream opinion, then the current Pavlovian acclaim of the Social Network proves it. I will never be a part of the mainstream and it’s not by choice. It’s just I am apparently thoroughly incapable of understanding how the mainstream brain works.

So, that’s what the National Board of Review taught me today. I am destined to always be alone, railing against the dying of the light. Thank you for the insight, assholes.

Anyway, here’s this year’s award winners:

Best Picture: The Social Network (Don’t get me wrong, the Social Network is a good movie. It’s just not that good.)

Best Director: David Fincher, The Social Network

Best Actor: Jesse Eisenberg, The Social Network (I am so sick of hearing that this is Jesse’s “breakthrough” role. Jesse’s breakthrough was in Adventureland, long before the mainstream ever decided to embrace him.)

Best Actress: Lesley Manville, Another Year (Haven’t seen it yet)

Best Supporting Actor: Christian Bale, The Fighter (Another movie that I will see when it opens later this month. Still, Bale should have been nominated for American Psycho back in the day.)

Best Supporting Actress: Jacki Weaver for Animal Kingdom (Yay! This award gives me hope.)

Best Animated Feature: Toy Story 3 (yay!)

Best Documentary: Waiting For Superman (Yes, my favorite movie of the year —Exit Through The Gift Shop — was totally ignored.)

Best Ensemble Cast: The Town (Bleh. So I guess that would include Jon Hamm, who gave such an amazingly bad performance in this film?)

Breakthrough Performance: Jennifer Lawrence, Winter’s Bone (Another yay but you know all the mainstream is going to offer her is a role in a Twilight rip-off and maybe a Maxim cover shoot.)

Best Adapted Screenplay: Aaron Sorkin for The Social Network (Fuck Aaron Sorkin and his elitist, sexist, technophobic script.)

Best Original Screenplay: Chris Sparling for Buried (which I didn’t see, mostly because I’m claustrophobic and the movie is called Buried.)

Ten Best Films Of The Year (in alphabetical order):

Another Year

The Fighter

Hereafter (which sucked!)

Inception (yay!)

The King’s Speech (I’m actually really looking forward to seeing this)

Shutter Island (kinda bleh but enjoyable)

The Town

Toy Story 3

True Grit (another one I can’t wait to see)

Winter’s Bone (yay!)

Yep, you read that right. No awards for such presumed favorites as James Franco and 127 Hours, Black Swan, or The Kids Are All Right. But you better believe they found room to honor a shallow, pandering film like Hereafter.

Finally, here are the Top Ten Independent Films of 2010, according to the toadsuckers at the National Board of Review:

Animal Kingdom (yay!)

Buried (Now I guess I have to see it)

Fish Tank (yay!)

The Ghost Writer (yay — kinda)

Greenberg (bleh)

Let Me In (another kinda yay)

Monsters (shrug)

Please Give (yay!)

Somewhere (going to see it when it opens down here, Sofia Coppola is my role model)

Youth in Revolt (shrug, it’s neither bleh nor yay)

You can read the full list of winners at The Wrap.

Anyway, in order to show just how exactly I feel when confronted with mainstream thought and opinion, here’s an old picture of me with a tampon stuck up my nose.

A Quickie With Lisa Marie: The Social Network (dir. by David Fincher)

Posted on October 21, 2010 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Let’s keep this short.

The Social Network is not, as I originally feared, a terrible film.

At the same time, it’s not, as so many are rabidly insisting, a great film either.

It’s a good film that takes a lot of liberty with the truth and, in the process of telling the “story” about the founding of Facebook, reveals that screenwriter Aaron Sorkin doesn’t really get the whole Internet thing.

David Fincher directs like a man who still can’t believe he didn’t get an Oscar for The Curious Case of Benjamin Button. In other words, he doesn’t do anything that might be too far out of the mainstream. Face it, folks. The man who directed Fight Club has grown up. And, as they say, when you grow up, your heart dies.

The main problem with The Social Network is that it is essentially a very mainstream movie being made about a grindhouse topic. Hackers, like the best grindhouse directors, do what they do because 1) they can and 2) it’s a way of telling the rest of the mainstream world to fuck off. Unfortunately, both Sorkin and Fincher are members of that mainstream world so instead of celebrating Facebook and the Internet as a revolution, they instead try to convince us that the only reason Facebook exists is because the founder’s heart was broken by his ex-girlfriend.

That ex-girlfriend is portrayed by Rooney Mara, who will be playing Fincher’s version of the girl with the dragon tattoo. The film presents her as being a shallow bitch but then again, the film presents every woman in the world as being a shallow bitch. Then again, this is a mainstream movie and the mainstream hates women who actually think for themselves. Certainly, that’s been the case with everything else that Aaron Sorkin has ever written.

Still, Mara is presented as just being insensitive and not evil or crazy. If the movie has a villain, it’s Sean Parker (played by Justin Timberlake) who is presented as being the evil Iago-like figure who ruined Facebook. If anything, the film mostly seems to hate him because Parker co-founded Napster and therefore cost the mainstream media a good deal of money.

Admittedly, it’s a well-acted movie. Both Jesse Eisenberg and Andrew Garfield are excellent as the soon to be estranged founders of Facebook. Armie Hammer actually plays two characters — twin brothers — and he creates two unforgettable and unique characters. Justin Timberlake is a bit less convincing as Sean Parker but then again, by the film’s logic, Parker is less a human being and more a demon sent from Hell to keep David Geffen from getting another few thousand. Finally, Rooney Mara does what she can with a demeaning and insulting role. I didn’t see any signs of Lisbeth Salander in her performance but then again, this isn’t a film about strong women. It’s a movie about weak little boys.

Anyway, to return to my original point, the Social Network is a good film. It’s well-acted, it looks pretty, the story moves quickly, and Trent Reznor’s score is excellent. Unfortunately, the movie’s being presented to us as a great film and anyone who disagrees is running the risk of being lynched by the same obnoxious fascists who, last year, demanded that everyone bathe in their own cum while watching Avatar. The main reason these people are so over-the-moon about this movie is that it’s the epitome of the type of film that pats the viewer on the back for being so smart without actually requiring that viewer to prove it.

So, if you watch this movie, realize that you keep your mind open at your own risk.

Good luck.

A Few Thoughts Before Actually Seeing The Social Network

Posted on October 3, 2010 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Hi there. Lisa Marie here. I know that usually when I show up on this site, it’s too either toss up 6 more exploitation trailers or to present a review of a film that’s been unfairly dismissed (or foolishly overpraised) by the mainstream media. It’s what I love doing and I hope everyone gets at least a little occasional pleasure out of it. (If you don’t — well, please don’t tell me. I’m surprisingly sensitive.)

Last week, I expected that, at this time, I would have posted a review (probably negative) of the mainstream’s latest attempt to make an art film — David Fincher’s The Social Network.

Unfortunately, life in general — and my body in specific — had other plans. I’ve been sick since Wednesday and, for the first time in over a year, I did not spend my weekend at the movies. It’s enough to make a girl cry.

(That said, I did spend most of the weekend lounging about in various states of undress so maybe concentrating on that image will help to lessen the sting of no Social Network review…)

However, while I may not be able to give you my Social Network review, I do feel that I can give you my Social Network pre-viewing review.

Just based on the evidence presented to me so far, the Social Network sucks.

Consider the evidence:

1) Peter Travers of Rolling Stone says that the Social Network will make me “believe in film again.” Excuse me? Francios Truffaut coming back from the dead — or at least Jean-Luc Godard making one more vaguely entertaining movie before dying– will make me believe in film again. I refuse to join a religion based on a movie about fucking Facebook. Sorry, Mr. Travers.

2) Andrew O’Heir at Salon.com has compared The Social Network to — wait for it — Citizen Kane. Hopefully, when the zombie apocalypse comes, Zombie Orson Welles will eat Andrew O’Heir first.

3) According to Rotten Tomatoes — the web’s greatest resource of Mainstream Opinion — The Social Network is the best-reviewed film of 2010 so far. For a film to be that loved, it must be really needy. And what do needy things do? They manipulate, they lie, and they go out of their way to beg you to like them. A great film doesn’t give a fuck what you think.

4) The movie stars Jesse Eisenberg who has already been in 3 great movies — The Squid and the Whale, Adventureland, and Zombieland. Sorry, Jesse but only Giovanni Lombardo Radice is allowed to appear in four great films in just four years.

5) The movie is written by Aaron Sorkin. This movie is being advertised as the “defining” movie as my generation. Sorry, but the defining movie of my generation isn’t going to be written by some smug, 50 year-old, male, sexist, crackhead.

6) The movie is directed by David Fincher which normally would be a good sign except all the reviews are concentrating on Aaron Sorkin. So, is our Mr. Fincher so needy for an Oscar that he’s basically abandoned his own vision in the service of some smug, 50 year-old, male, sexist, crackhead?

7) Apparently, this movie celebrates rich kids getting richer. Just what America needs right now. Yes, let’s celebrate the dumbfug toadsuckers of the world while the guy flipping your burger over at McDonald’s loses his health insurance.

8 ) The Social Network is apparently number one at the box office after this weekend and apparently has gotten great word of mouth. You know who else got great word of mouth at one time? Adolf Hitler, that’s who. Up until it was no longer socially acceptable, the mainstream loved him too.

9) The Social Network has a really crappy, first draft title. Seriously, that’s the name of the movie?

10) Sasha Stone, over at Awardsdaily.com, loves this fucking movie and to me, that’s reason enough to assume it’s going to be an overrated piece of foolishness. Seriously, Awardsdaily.com is a great site if you want to keep up with all the Oscar buzz but — when it comes to reviews — Sasha Stone, Ryan Adams, and the rest of the site are all so middle class and predictable. (Of course, what do you expect from a site that regularly quotes William Goldman?)

So, that’s my pre-viewing review of The Social Network. Hopefully, I’ll see it next weekend and be able to post an actual review. Then we’ll be able to see if the film simply conformed to my own biases or if it truly is worthy of all the hype.

Until then, I’d love to hear your thoughts on The Social Network and the growing chorus of mainstreamers who insist that this is the greatest film of all time. Am I being too hard on it or is this yet another example of the mainstream emperor wearing no clothes?

A Few Thoughts On The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo Remake

Posted on July 28, 2010 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Have I mentioned how much I loved The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo? Have I suggested that the late Stieg Larsson, in the Millenium Trilogy, did for Europe what James Ellroy did for America with the American Tabloid trilogy? Have I gone into the fact I think Noomi Rapace’s performance as Lisbeth in both the original film and its sequels will probably be remembered as one of the greatest film performances of all time? Have I explained that I think, even beyond Rapace’s performance, Lisbeth herself is one of the best characters in the history of film? For that matter, have I talked about the hours that I’ve spent standing with my back to a mirror and looking over my shoulder and debating on which shoulder-blade a dragon would look most appropriate? Personally, I think my left shoulder-blade is a bit nicer than my right but last night, my friend Jeff was telling me that…

Sorry, I’m losing focus here. Okay, getting the ADD under control. Anyway, the point of the matter is that I love The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo.

That’s why I feel a lot of caution about the upcoming, David Fincher-helmed remake. First off, quite frankly, I really don’t see what can be improved on the original films. It’s not as if the original film version of the Girl With The Dragon Tattoo failed to do justice to the book (if anything, the book fails to do justice to the film that eventually made from it). I suppose a remake would give people who can’t handle subtitles the chance to see the story but honestly, who cares about those losers? Speaking of the story, the rumors I hear seem to indicate that this remake is going to be an “Americanized” version of The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo, which I’m not really sure can be done as the entire book is basically meant to act as a metaphor for Swedish society. Of course, it is possible that the remake is going to be set in Sweden as well but if that’s the case, what’s the point of the remake?

I know the usual argument to these concerns is that, as a director, Fincher will not allow the film to be Hollywoodized. At one point that may have been true but, judging from The Curious Case of Benjamin Button, Fincher’s got more Hollywood in him than most people want to admit. The fact that he’s also teamed up with Aaron Sorkin (an establishment figure if there ever was one) to direct a movie about Facebook doesn’t exactly fill me with confidence but I’ll hold off on judging until the Social Network actually shows up in theaters.

However, I am encouraged by the news (announced yesterday) that Fincher has cast Daniel Craig as the male lead, Mikael Blomkvist (or whatever his name is going to be in the Hollywood version). Craig’s name had been mentioned for the role ever since the remake was first announced but there were also reports that the role would go to Brad Pitt (who, of course, has already made 3 films with Fincher). Nothing against Brad Pitt (who I think is a truly underrated actor) but it’s hard to think of a worst choice for the role of Mikael. Mikael’s defining characteristic is just how ineffectual he is. He’s the ultimate well-meaning intellectual, the type of guy who wants to fight injustice but is to insulated from the harsh realities of life to effectively do so. (That’s why he needs Lisbeth, she represents everything he wishes he could do but can’t.) In short, Mikael is a hero by default and casting an actor like Brad Pitt would throw the entire movie off-balance.

Mikael is not a role for a star. Mikael is a role for a character actor and, James Bond aside, that’s exactly what Daniel Craig is. (That’s one reason why Craig’s Bond is dull, regardless of how good a performance Craig gives in the role.) Not only is Craig the right age, he projects just the right amount of idealistic weariness for the role. Admittedly, it helps that Craig bears a passable physical resemblance to the original Mikael, Michael Nyqvist which, if nothing else, will make it easier for fans of the original film — like me — to accept him.

(For the record, my personal choice for Mikael would have been Tim Roth.)

Of course, the question now is who will win the role of Lisbeth and why would they want it? For me, Noomi Rapace is Lisbeth. She is the girl with dragon tattoo. It’s hard to think of single mainstream actress in her 20s or early 30s who could hope to match Rapace’s performance. (Perhaps a young Angelina Jolie could have though physically, Jolie is all wrong for the part.) However, even beyond what Rapace did with the character, Lisbeth is one of the most vivid and memorable characters in recent literary history. Even without having to worry about the shadow of Rapace’s previous performance, the role is not an easy one.

Originally, rumor had it that Kristen Stewart was a lock for the role. At the risk of being burned at the stake as a heretic, I’m going to say that I think Stewart could have been an adequate (though not a great) Lisbeth except for the fact that she’s about ten years too young. (While Lisbeth is described as looking like a teenager, she also projects a worldliness of someone much older. Physical appearance can be faked but life experience can not.) Carey Mulligan, star of An Education (the best film of 2009, by the way), was another actress who was frequently mentioned.

Well, according to Entertainment Weekly, neither Stewart nor Mulligan will play Lisbeth Salander. Neither will Natalie Portman who, according to EW, was offered the role but turned it down. The offer to Portman makes sense as she’s physcially right for the role and she’s an undeniably talented actress. However, much as Pitt could never have been convincing as Mikael, Portman would have been miscast as Lisbeth. Portman may be a talented actress but she’s also a rather passive one. Even in her previous “action” roles (Leon, V For Vendetta), Portman essentially played a lost, damaged character (much like Lisbeth) who needed an older male figure to serve as her mentor (which, needless to say, is nothing like Lisbeth).

Again, according to EW, the role of Lisbeth has been narrowed down to four actresses: Rooney Mara, Lea Seydoux, Sarah Snook, and Sophie Lowe. It’s probably a good sign that none of these actresses are household names exactly. Competing with the shadow of Noomi Rapace’s Lisbeth is going to be difficult enough without also having to deal with the shadow of their own previous performances. (For instance, even if Stewart gave a brilliant performance as Lisbeth, it would still be impossible for me to get through the remake without making at least one Twilight joke.)

For me, the real question is not who is going to be cast as Libseth but if Fincher and his producers are going to give us the real Lisbeth — this would be the unapologetically lesbian Lisbeth who can only befriend Mikael once she’s sure that she doesn’t any sort of sexual attraction towards him — or if we’re going to get a more mainstream, Hollywood version of Lisbeth. Are we going to get the real Lisbeth who needs no one or are we going to get another version of what Hollywood claims to be a strong woman, one who can fight up until the final 30 minutes of the film at which point she’s suddenly rendered helpless by the demands of Mainstream Filmmaking 101.

More than anything, that will be the test that Fincher’s Girl With The Dragon Tattoo will have to pass if it wants to be anything more than an unneeded imitation of the original.

(Incidentally, the perfect Lisebth Salander would be Jena Malone. End of story.)

10 Movies I’m Looking Foward To and 5 That I Am Not And 1 That I’m Kinda Sorta Undecided On

Posted on May 6, 2010 by Lisa Marie Bowman

I had all six of my wisdom teeth extracted on Tuesday. Yes, you read that correctly. Not only where my all my wisdom teeth impacted but I had two extra ones as well. I was passed out during the operation and, to be honest, I wish I could be passed out for the recovery as well. I’m bruised, puffy, and it hurts to talk. In short, even with a healthy supply of Vicodin, I am miserable. Boo hoo.

However, one thing never fails to cheer me up and that’s watching, discussing, thinking about, and writing about film. Since Tuesday, I’ve had a lot of extra time to think about some of the films that are due to come out during this year. Below, I’ve listed 16 of them. Ten of them are movies that I’m looking forward to seeing, five are movies that I know I’m going to end up seeing and hating, and finally, one is a movie that I’m genuinely undecided on.

The Ten I’m Looking Forward To:

1) Iron Man 2 — Iron Man 2 is opening tomorrow and I’m exciting for several reasons. First off, I loved the first movie. Super hero adaptations usually bore me to tears but the first Iron Man was actually a lot of fun. Traditionally, sequels are disappointing but most of the people behind the 1st movie — director Jon Favreau, Robert Downey, Jr. and Gwynneth Paltrow — are returning. As well, you’ve got Mickey Rourke chewing the scenery and blowing things up, Sam Rockwell (who I love! love! love! — go and rent Moon if you haven’t seen it!) as a villain, and Scarlett Johansson (Lost in Translation is one of my all time favorite movies) kicking ass in black leather.

On a personal note, my friend Jeff once referred to me as “the Black Widow.” At first, I was a little taken back because I thought he was suggesting that I devoured my mates but fortunately for him, he then explained he was referring to a comic book character who, like me, has red hair. Anyway, for the longest time, that’s been an inside joke between the two of us. I’ve always been the Black Widow even though I have no idea who she actually is. So, imagine my delight when I found out that this is apparently the same character that Scarlett Johansson is playing in Iron Man 2! For that reason alone, I have to see this movie.

Finally, when I’m not obsessing on films, I work as a receptionist/secretary/file clerk/personal assistant and there are times when I’m sitting bored at my desk and I start to think about myself as if I were the character played by Gwynneth Paltrow. I’ll sit there and wonder if maybe my boss is secretly a costumed super hero. (I’m fairly sure that he’s not.) Strange as it may seem, Iron Man has become the fuel for my fantasies. (Release Date: May 7th, 2010 — T0morrow!)

2) Robin Hood — When it comes to English folklore, I tend to gravitate towards stories involving King Arthur accidentally sleeping with his half-sister and thousands of cocky knights vainly searching for the Holy Grail and getting killed in various macabre ways as a result. As a result, I really don’t know much about Robin Hood beyond the basics. I know that he was apparently some sort of socialist and that he liked to hang out in the forest with a bunch of “merry” men. To be honest, the whole idea of Robin Hood has always struck me as being childish and the character bores me. But I’m still looking forward to this latest Robin Hood film and I can explain it in 2 words: Russell Crowe. If anyone can make Robin Hood into an interesting — even compelling character — it would be Crowe. Director Ridley Scott also seems to be the ideal director for this movie and then toss in some speeches about taxation without representation and you’ve got the potential for the perfect Libertarian film. (Release Date: May 14th, 2010)

3) The Expendables — Yes, I am usually not a huge fan of action films and I’ve never quite understood how Sylvester Stallone ever became a star but I’m still looking forward to this movie. Why? Just judging from the trailer, every actor on the planet appears to have a role in the this film. I find Jason Stathan to be about as appealing as Sylvester Stallone but Jet Li and Mickey Rourke should both be fun to watch and who wouldn’t jump at the chance to see Eric Roberts play yet another villain? (Release Date: August 13th, 2010)

4) Splice — I nearly included Splice on my list of films that I’m not looking forward to because, I swear to God, the trailer for Splice is so dull that it could be used to torture prisoners at Gitmo. Add to that, I’ve never quite seen the appeal that Adrien Brody supposedly possesses as an actor. However, I’m willing to take a chance on Splice because 1) it also stars one of my personal role models, the wonderful actress, director, and activist Sarah Polley and 2) director Vincenzo Natali has promised to take a very European approach to the film’s horrors (i.e. lots of casual sex with the monster serving as a symbol for something deeper than just box office receipts). I’m looking forward to seeing if Splice can overcome Adrien Brody and live up to that promise. (Release date: June 4th, 2010)

5) Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, Part One — Okay, I admit it. I’m a fan. Don’t judge me. (Though I will also say that I think J.K. Rowling needs to get over herself in a major way.) It’ll be interesting to see what Daniel Radcliffe, Rupert Grint, and Emma Watson do with themselves now that their indentured servitude is done with. Radcliffe, in particular, is capable of playing a lot more than just Harry Potter. (Release Date: November 19th, 2010)

6) Howl — James Franco as the late poet Allen Ginsberg? Strangely enough, I think the idea might work. (Release Date: September 24th, 2010)

7) Machete — Robert Rodriguez finally makes a film for someone other than his kids. How can you not be excited about the chance to see Robert De Niro and Jeff Fahey on-screen together? Plus, Lindsay Lohan (who really should just be allowed to live her life) gets a chance to remake her image playing a socialite with a gun. My hope is that if Machete finds success at the box office, Eli Roth will make Thanksgiving. (Release Date: September 3rd, 2010)

8 ) My Soul To Take — Wes Craven has had an odd career and, to be honest, I struggle sometimes with whether he’s truly a great horror filmmaker or if he’s just a journeyman director who has occasionally gotten lucky. Looking at his career, it’s hard not to wonder how the same guy who made the original Last House on the Left and The Hills Have Eyes could also be responsible for something like Cursed? Regardless of how the actual film turns out, My Soul To Take will add another piece to the puzzle. This will be the first film to be both written and directed by Craven in 16 years. Hopefully, as in the majority of his better movies, Craven will be able to balance his commercial side with his sadistic side. (Release Date: October 29th, 2010)

9) Inception — My tastes usually run more towards horror than sci-fi but I find myself growing more excited about Inception with each passing day. Not only does the plot sound like it could have easily come from a long-lost book by Philip K. Dick (one of the few sci-fi writers that I enjoy reading, A Scanner Darkly being my personal favorite) but the film is being directed by Christopher Nolan who proved with Momento that he can make the surreal compelling. And just check out that cast — Leonardo DiCaprio, Cillian Murphy, Ellen Page, and Joseph Gordon-Levitt (who I’ve been crushing on ever since (500) Days of Summer). (Release date: July 16th, 2010.)

10) Salt — I love it when girls get to kick ass in the movies and, when she’s at her best, nobody kicks ass like Angelina Jolie. (Release Date: July 23rd, 2010)

One That I’m Kinda Looking Forward To But I’m Kinda Not

1) Sex and the City 2 — Why are they in the desert? How exactly can you have Sex without the City? (Release date: May 27th, 2010)

The Five I Am Not Looking Forward To

1) The A-Team — Yay! It’s an action movie based on a show I’ve never heard of. I love Liam Neeson and it’s good to see that Sharlto Copley’s underrated performance in District 9 has led to him getting more work but, sorry, I think I’ll pass. (Release Date: June 11th, 2010)

2) The Social Network — I know a lot of people are looking forward to this movie about the founding of Facebook and it is true that it’s being directed by David Fincher. However, there are a few things that lead me to fear that this is not going to be the movie that so many people think it will be. First off, it was written by Aaron Sorkin who is probably one of the most overrated screenwriters working today. He may be best known for The West Wing but most of Sorkin’s work resembles the heavy-handed sermonizing of Studio 60 On The Sunset Strip. Remember how Sorkin reacted when a few bloggers criticized his show? This is not a guy who is comfortable with the Internet. Secondly, the film is being produced by Kevin Spacey, another overrated talent who doesn’t so much act as much as he smugly pretends to act. Third, and most important, The Social Network has got to be one of the worst titles I’ve heard in a long time. Everything about this movie just screams “misfire.” (Release date: October 1st, 2010)

3) Paranormal Activity 2 — Because, you know, the first one was so good. (Release Date: October 22nd, 2010)

4) Twelve — I loved Nick McDonnell’s novel and I usually enjoy movies about decadent rich kids destroying themselves with lots of drugs and promiscuity. I mean, if you’re going to self-destruct, you should at least look good doing it. Unfortunately, Twelve is directed by the American Umberto Lenzi, Joel Schumacher. Schumacher’s films aren’t even enjoyably bad. They’re just bad. Interestingly enough, Joel Schumacher tends to turn up in just about every movie star biography and Hollywood history book that I own. He’s someone who has obviously been around for a very long time and who has cultivated a lot of friends. I imagine he must be very likable in person. But, seriously, isn’t it time to revoke his DGA membership? (Release Date: July 2, 2010)

5) Saw VII — Sorry, I got bored with the Jigsaw Killer about five movies ago. The film’s in 3D so I’m sure we’ll get to see a severed limb fly directly at the camera. (Release Date: October 22nd, 2010)