What Lisa And Evelyn Watched Last Night #70: California Dreams S3E5 “Yoko Oh No!” (dir by Kevin Sullivan)

Posted on February 23, 2013 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Last night, my BFF Evelyn and I watched yet another episode of the old 90s sitcom California Dreams.

Why Were We Watching It?

Believe me, I would have much rather have been watching an old episode of Saved By The Bell: The New Class but. unfortunately, YouTube has yanked down nearly every episode of SBTB:TNC that’s ever been uploaded. However, every episode of California Dreams is available on YouTube. Why exactly it’s okay to violate California Dreams‘ copyright but not Saved By The Bell’s is a question for which there is no easy answer.

That said, ever since my sister Megan first introduced me to the show last December, I’ve grown to appreciate California Dreams. For a terrible sitcom, it wasn’t that bad.

What Was It About?

So, in this episode, there’s yet another battle of the bands taking place at Sharky’s. (I have to admit that there’s still a lot of episodes of California Dreams that I haven’t seen but, seriously, it seems that Sharky’s had a vattle of the bands every other week or so.) Anyway, the Dreams are looking to win the Battle of the Bands for the 2nd time in a row but they’re going to have to beat Total Defiance, a rap group that’s edgy in a mid-90s, Saturday morning sitcom sort of way.

When Total Defiance’s manager, Rosie, calls Lorena “a groupie,” Lorena (played by Diana Uribe) asks to be allowed to sing with the Dreams. At this point in the series, Lorena was dating Jake (Jay Anthony Franke), the leader of the Dreams. So, of course, Lorena is allowed to join the group despite being totally tone deaf.

What Worked?

Though it probably wasn’t meant to be, Rosie’s dismissive description of the California Dreams and their music is actually pretty spot on.

This is a pretty good episode for both the character of Lorena and for the actress who played her. Though everyone on YouTube seems to disagree with me, I actually think the Jake and Lorena were a good couple and I prefer the episode where she and Jake are together to the ones where Jake is dating Tiffani (Kelly Packard) and Lorena is going out with Sly (Michael Cade).

So, I’ve made my sisters, my boyfriend, my best friend, and my Australian friend watch an episode or two of California Dreams and they’ve all said the same thing: Lorena reminds them of me. Despite the fact that I doubt that Lorena would ever be a fan of Italian horror, I can see their point.

What Did Not Work?

“Suuuuuuurf dudes with attitude … kinda groovy …. feeling mellow….” Again, Rosie was right.

“OH MY GOD! Just like me!” Moments

Like Lorena, I’m a good dancer but I can’t sing to save my life. In fact, my sisters claim that I’m tone deaf but I prefer the term “musically challenged.”

Unlike Lorena, I would never have faked laryngitis to get out of singing. I would have gotten up on stage and screeched my little heart out.

Lessons Learned

If you want to sing despite having no talent, date a guy in a band.

Review: The Walking Dead S3E10 “Home”

Posted on February 17, 2013 by Arleigh

“Running is not an option.” — Glenn Rhee

[some spoilers within]

The series returned from it’s two month hiatus with even bigger numbers that still continues to surprise many tv pundits. The Walking Dead seems to be the show that no behind-the-scenes problems or storytelling and characterization problems can kill like other shows that has similar problems. The show is not on the same level as HBO’s Boardwalk Empire and Game of Thrones, FX’s Justified and Sons of Anarchy or even AMC stablemates Breaking Bad and Mad Men, but it’s a show that looks to have become must-see tv because of the very things tv pundits and critics have been complaining about.

Tonight’s episode, “Home”, was a microcosm of why the show has been such a frustration to hardcore fans of the comic book and the zombie genre, but also why the show still continues to bring in huge viewing numbers. Numbers that has begun to rival shows on the major networks and not just shows on cable. It was an episode that made me wonder if the season’s trip to redemption from season 2’s wildly uneven tone was suddenly being wasted. Then the second half of the episode arrived like a bullet to the head and we’re reminded why the show has gained such a huge following.

“Home” opens up with Rick still in the grips of the psychotic break we saw and experienced to end the previous episode. This part of tonight’s narrative is beginning to look like one of this season’s weaker ones. While I thought it was good to show the source of Rick’s growing mental instability the way the writers have gone about it makes Rick such a wildly uneven character when the “crazies” hit him. We understand that the burden of leadership has cost the poor man since he rejoined his family but whenever he begins to hallucinate it’s quite a glaring change. The same could be said about Glenn’s sudden rage-fueled need to avenge himself on the Governor for what he thinks was done to Maggie. We’ve seen leadership qualities in Glenn throughout the series’ run, but this need for vengeance for something that didn’t happen to him looks so out of character for Glenn. He’s almost channeling his inner-Shane and, despite what fans of TV Shane’s character might think, that’s never a good thing.

Tonight’s episode was all about the concept of the word “home” what it means to people surviving in a world where no place is safe. The prison and Woodbury are homes for two different survivors. On the one hand, we have Rick and his band of survivors who have survived some of the worst this zombie apocalypse has thrown their way and learned the hard way to survive. On the other side we have Woodbury where most of it’s population never learned to survive but relied on those in power to keep them safe. People in power who really do not have their well-being in mind, but just a resource to dominate and use when it suits them. One home has been invaded and it’s illusion of safety shattered by Rick and his people. Tonight we see the Governor repay that action in his own way.

Home is now a concept that doesn’t seem like a logical thing in this new world order and tonight’s episode went too talky about whether it was safe to remain in the prison or whether it was their best chance of survival. It didn’t help that Rick was on his crazytown jaunt through the woods outside the prison, Glenn was going all Shane on everyone and Hershel was starting to sound very Dale-like. Not very good combinations considering the writers on this show could never handle the quieter and philosophical moments on the show.

Where the episode was saved was when the bolts, bullets and blood flew in abundance in the second half. This first begun with Daryl doing something that Merle would never see himself doing on his own and that’s helping a band of strangers cornered by a large group of zombies. We see how much Daryl’s time with Rick away from the influence of his more volatile big brother Merle has made Daryl a better man without taking away his inherent badassness (yes that is a made up word that should be used more often).

The Governor’s payback against Rick and his people becomes a bookend to the midseason finale where Rick attacked Woodbury. The prison’s illusion of safety has been destroyed and with it one of their own who seemed to be finding his role. Axel was beginning to become a character of note then the Governor and his bullet happened and we’re once more left with the the core group which entered the prison.

If there’s one thing this show has done well since it first began two years ago it’s action and gore. I think it’s what this show does well that keeps people from tuning in for new episodes. There’s a chaotic feel to the action that makes them such a fun thing to watch. These people are not action heroes and not trained professionals in killing but it doesn’t keep them from trying to be both which goes to one of the core tenets of the zombie apocalypse genre. These people should be working together but the inherent mistrusts people have when put into extreme situations keeps that from happening. It’s why things got out of hand and things fell apart for everyone. It looks like it’s happening again but in a much more smaller scale with this war between Rick and the Governor.

With the season now putting the showdown between the two groups front and center it should keep things basic and that’s a good for this show. Basic and simple narratives keep the show moving at a fast-pace. It’s when everyone has some downtime to reflect on the nature of things that the show falters. Here’s to hoping that the first half of this episode was something that had to be done to set things up for the rest of the second half of this season. If it’s not then maybe there was reason why Glen Mazzara will not be returning as showrunner for season 4.

Notes

Tonight’s episode of was directed by series newcomer Seith Mann and written by series regular Nichole Beattie.
We have ourselves another cameo of a series regular killed off with Sarah Wayne Callies appearing as a figment of Rick’s fractured mind during the episode’s cold opening.
Interesting how this sequence is musically scored by the same music theme from way back in the series’ pilot. At first, I thought the return to this motif in the cold opening was announcing the announced return of Lennie James’ Morgan Jones character from the pilot.
Glenn trying to make up for Rick’s latest bout of craziness as leader of the group is both refreshing and, at the same time, funny as he’s clearly trying to overcompensate for what happened to him and Maggie during their time in Woodbury.
We may be starting to see one of the reasons why Glen Mazzara was replaced as showrunner for the upcoming season. Only two episodes into the second half of season 3 and we’re starting to see the bad habit of the show spinning it’s wheels as it rehashes some philosophical questions about survival and leadership.
Andrea being put in charge of Woodbury while the Governor “pulls himself together” would be a much more interesting turn of events if Andrea wasn’t such a broken character played by a performer who can’t seem to find that fine line between cocky and annoying that her character seems to be written as.
The best performance of this second half of the season seems to consistently be from Lauran Cohan as Maggie Greene. She has another fine performance tonight as Maggie as she pretty much puts Glenn in his place.
Good to see the writers resisted the temptation to revert Carol back to being an emotional mess once she found out about Daryl choosing to leave the group.
Speaking of the Dixon Brothers: it looks like Daryl really regrets choosing blood over his new family as Merle continues to be Merle. His attitude towards the Latino family besieged by walkers on the creek bridge is so hilariously racist yet something that continues to stay in character. It definitely helps in making the question of whether Daryl stays with Merle or goes back to the group not become a protracted affair as we see at the end of the sequence.
The first half of the episode was quite a bore that highlighted the very flaws this show has had throughout it’s current broadcast life, but the second half saved it by showing just why people continue to return to watch each new episode every Sunday.
Axel, we hardly knew you but at least you lasted longer than Oscar. I must say that his death mirrored very well the way he died in the comics.
It would seem that it’s easier to headshot zombies when they’re stumbling towards Rick and his people than to actually hit the Governor and his shooters when they’re standing still.
Zombie Kill Count of tonight’s episode: 35 (at least 15 more off-screen).

Past Season 3 Episode Review

Guilty Pleasure No. 4: The Jeremy Kyle Show

Posted on February 13, 2013 by Lisa Marie Bowman

I’ll just be honest about this.

I do not like Jeremy Kyle.

Jeremy Kyle is an English talk show host. He hosts shows in both the United Kingdom and, since 2011, in the USA. On both shows, he deals with the usual daytime television topics: infidelity, out-of-control teenagers, interventions, DNA tests, and lie detectors. He is also perhaps the most unpleasant person that I have ever seen on television.

As opposed to other talk show hosts who pretend to be impartial, Jeremy Kyle is always quick to let us know that he hates his guests even more than we do. When someone confesses to cheating on his or her spouse, Jeremy reacts as if he was the one being cheated on. With a permanent scowl on his face and speaking in a tone of voice that reeks of manufactured contempt, Jeremy Kyle repeatedly tells us that his main concern is the children and that he has no respect for anyone who he feels has put their own selfish desires first.

“In the UK,” he’ll find an excuse to shout during every episode, “we have a saying — keep it in your trousers, mate!”

In many cases, Kyle’s guests deserve to be yelled at but that doesn’t make Jeremy Kyle any less annoying. For all of his shouting and his moral outrage, Jeremy Kyle is far too obvious a showman to be taken seriously as a sincere crusader for family values. He’s made a career out of exploiting that which he claims to condemn and the fact that he seems so totally humorless about that fact makes him just as bad as the people he has on his show. He’s a bully but he’s also a surprisingly ineffective one. The main image that one retains from the Jeremy Kyle Show is the sight of a husband and wife screaming at each other while Jeremy impotently demands that they both be quiet. The only time that Jeremy really has any control over his stage is when he has his ever present security team standing a few feet in front of him.

When I told my British friends that Jeremy Kyle now had a show in the States, they all had the same reaction. They apologized. As for me, I refused to sign that petition to deport Piers Morgan but if anyone starts a petition to deport Jeremy Kyle, I’ll be more than happy to put down my signature.

So, you may be asking, where does the pleasure from this guilty pleasure come from?

It comes from knowing that there’s always a possibility that one of Jeremy Kyle’s guests might lose it and punch Jeremy out. Every time I’ve seen the Jeremy Kyle Show, I’ve always been struck by just how much everyone on the stage appears to hate Jeremy. When I do watch this show, it’s because I’m waiting for those priceless moments when somebody will tell Jeremy to shut up and his face will briefly turn red. I doubt that I’m alone in laughing whenever a guest unexpectedly jumps to his feet and Jeremy reacts by scurrying behind a security guard. In those moments, Jeremy Kyle’s superior mask falls away and he’s revealed for the pathetic little martinet that he is.

On those rare occasions that I waste my time watching the Jeremy Kyle Show, I’m watching because something like this could happen:

That’s the real pleasure of The Jeremy Kyle Show.

Previous Guilty Pleasures:

Review: The Walking Dead S3E09 “The Suicide King”

Posted on February 10, 2013 by Arleigh

“You came through like always.” — Hershel Green

[some spoilers within]

It’s been months of waiting since the exciting mid-season finale of The Walking Dead‘s third season. This season has been quite a revelation in that it put some of the lost faith fans of the show had after the very uneven 2nd season under the split caretakers of Frank Darabont (fired after the first half of season 2) and Glen Mazzara (took over after Darabont’s departure). Under Mazzara’s guidance as the show’s showrunner the show has done a great job at fixing some of the major issues the show had been criticized about throughout season 2.

Season 3 has been faster-paced and didn’t rely too much on the use of exposition info-dumps to explain what was going on in the show. The action during the first half of season 3 wasn’t just for the thrill that fans wanted more of, but also allowed the show to show rather than tell the episodes. This was something that had been a major problem under Darabont’s guidance. Mazzara realized the problems and did some major course-correcting on the show’s narrative that even major detractors of the series had to concede that the show had breathed new life to what had become something that stagnated.

The Walking Dead broke for it’s mid-season winter hiatus with the excellent “Made to Suffer” episode. With two months of waiting to go through some things occurred behind-the-scenes on the show that could affect the series going forward with the second half of season 3 and the show’s future, in general. First, AMC announced that a fourth season of the show was being greenlit (worst kept secret), but the second news was more of a downer as the network announced that showrunner Glen Mazzara was leaving the show. Rumors as to why he was leaving has been flying since the announcement with creative differences between Mazzara and the show’s executive producer and comic book creator Robert Kirkman. We may never know the full details on what occurred behind-the-scenes, but it looks like The Walking Dead as a series may go through another course-correction that may help of hurt the show. Time will tell and hopefully incoming showrunner Scott Gimple (also one of the series’ veteran writers) will keep the show going on the positive end of the ledger.

“The Suicide Kings” marks the second half of season 3 and we pick up pretty much where the mid-season left-off with the Governor pitting the Dixon brothers against each other to appease the Woodbury mob who has just been violently woken up from their “idyllic” existence inside the walls of the town. The scene itself was milked for tension as we’re not sure (once the deathmatch began) whether Merle was actually going to kill Daryl in order to prove his loyalty to the Governor. Fortunately, this doesn’t last too long as the two brothers soon fight back-to-back against the Woodbury guards leading shackled walkers towards them. But it was the timely intervention of Team Rick and his well-trained “commandos” who finally broke the Dixon brothers out of the precarious situation and also shatter whatever illusion of safety the Woodbury residents had been holding onto even after the initial raid by Team Rick.

The bulk of the episode showed the two opposing groups having to deal with the effects of the raid and rescue by Rick’s group against the Governor and the town of Woodbury.

For a cold opening this one is pretty up there in setting the tone for a show’s return. We see how much Rick values Daryl as a member of his group that he would be willing to return to a place that hates him right now in order to rescue his right-hand man. It also helped showed how much the events that took place prior to this episode was affecting the Governor. With tear gas spreading and chaos reigning he calmly walks through it all with no care as to the safety of the people he declared himself as their protector or even as to his own safety. We see in these early moments a man who has lost everything he has cared about and just want blood from those he blames for his loss. The Governor during the rest of the episode looks to be setting himself up for a war and one he intends to win. He’s not out to rule over a grateful flock. In fact, he seems relieved to not having to pretend to be a benevolent leader anymore.

Rick, on the other hand, continues to crack under the weight of leadership. His decision concerning the Dixon brothers has begun to cause dissension amongst his own people not to mention that whatever psychological toll the death of Lori during the first half of the season really has gone away but has gotten worst. Andrew Lincoln’s performance as he becomes unhinged at the end of the episode was quite telling as it helps the viewers look at him less and less as a badass leader, but one with concern that he might be as big a danger to the group as the Governor. Even his own son Carl looks to be setting himself as a better leader of the group than his own father. Carl still mourns and worries about what he had to do to Lori, but at the same time we can see that he’s able to move on from such a traumatic event to help protect the group.

Will Carl be able to go against Rick when the time comes and a decision has to be made as to who should lead the group? We shall see if the writers will explore this aspect of the father-son dynamic as the season rolls onto it’s season finale.

As for the rest of the cast we get to know a bit more of Tyrese and his people. One, Tyrese seems like a genuinely good person just looking for a safe place for his sister Sasha and the rest of what had been a group of 25 people. Two, we learn that Allen and his son Ben of Team Tyrese are setting themselves up for a rude awakening if they think Carl and Carol will be easy to overpower for their guns thus take over the prison for themselves. If these two only knew what Carl has had to do since the end of season 2 they’d be backing away in fear of the original Lil’ Asskicker.

There’s also the interesting subplot developing between Glenn and Maggie. The two lovebirds look to be going through a personal crisis since their escape from Woodbury and the attentions of the Governor. Where Maggie seems to be holding up quite well considering the near-rape she had to go through with the Governor, Glenn on the other hand looks to be playing up the role of the furious significant other who wants revenge on the Governor and Woodbury for what they put his lover through. Maggie, as we can see from her reaction to Glenn’s behavior throughout the episode is none too grateful for being treated like she’s helpless. It looks like there’s some interesting times in store for the show’s resident couple.

“The Suicide Kings” is an apt title for tonight’s episode as we see the opposing kings of the show looking like they’re heading down a path of suicide to punish those they think has caused them heartache and loss but also to finally end the suffering they’re going through. The Governor wants war while Rick just wants and end to everything as a way to get away from the demons and heartache he’s currently going through this season. Time to see which king will finally get their wish by season’s end.

Notes

Tonight’s episode was written by series regular Evan Reilly and directed by newcomer Lesli Linka Glatter.
While he comes off as quite the mad scientist during the early episode of the season it looks like Milton (played by Dallas Roberts) doesn’t seem to be quite sure of the Governor as a leader to follow especially during the “fight club” sequence in the beginning of the episode.
Nice to see Merle being Merle (funny and great performance by Michael Rooker) by rewarding Rick and his group rescuing him from Woodbury by mouthing off. Seeing Rick pistolwhip Merle then seeing the look of silent thanks from Daryl was a great moment. Daryl may be sticking with Merle because of their shared blood, but Daryl understands how much more of a big brother Rick has been to him. This makes his reluctant choice to side with Merle in the end to be so bittersweet. Daryl knows his true place is with Rick, but blood calls much stronger.
Glenn, Glenn, Glenn….why are you being such a dumbass. Just goes to show that when it comes to man trying to stand up for their woman (or man) sometimes they let their balls do the thinking instead of their brain.
When it looked like Carol was about to revert back to being useless, catatonic Carol when she found out about Daryl’s decision to leave the group she surprised me (and probably many) by taking things in stride after having a cry over the initial news. I do hope that the season continues to explore the unique relationship and bond which seem to have grown between Carol and fan-favorite Daryl Dixon.
Chandler Riggs continues to improve as an actor this season though at times hints pop up just how much of a newbie he is to the craft. Yet, when it comes to being the silent, badass type he does seem to pull off the type well.
When Rick was holding baby Judith in his arms once he got back to the prison there was a moment, just moment, when the look on his face made it seem like he didn’t like what he was seeing when looking down at her and wanted to bash her wee baby head against the wall. Maybe he thought he saw some Shane in her or maybe he thought it would be better off if she never grew up in a world as uncaring and horrific as the world this show has created.
Andrea is a character that seems like the writers continually on the cusp of finding the role for, but always comes off as unforgivably stupid or just irritatingly cocksure of herself despite always making the worst decisions each and every time she’s confronted by hard choices. Maybe it’s not the character but the actor Laurie Holden’s performance that’s hampering what should’ve been one of the show’s bedrock, badass characters. Instead, it looks like she’s just a character that’s now on borrowed time with the show’s writers just looking to find a way to give her the proper exit.
Rick, my man, looks to be unraveling before our eyes, not to mention in front of the rest of the group, with his hallucination of what could only be Lori’s ghost in the end of the episode as he’s contemplating the decision to whether let Tyrese and his people stay or leave.
Zombie Kill Count of tonight’s episode: 13 seen (possibly 8 more off-screen)

Past Season 3 Episode Review

What Lisa and Evelyn Watched Last Night #68: California Dreams S3E17 “Tiffani’s Gold” (dir by Patrick Maloney)

Posted on February 8, 2013 by Lisa Marie Bowman

On Wednesday night, my BFF Evelyn and I watched (via YouTube) an episode of the 90s sitcom California Dreams. The name of this episode was Tiffani’s Gold and, needless to say, it’s a very special episode.

Why Were We Watching It?

As I wrote back in December, I was introduced to this show over Christmas by my sister Megan. Ever since then, I’ll be regularly watching old episodes of California Dreams on YouTube. I’ve seen the members of the Dreams deal with racism, eating disorders, gang violence, body issues, and environmental panic. When I discovered that the episode Tiffani’s Gold dealt with drug abuse — well, how couldn’t I watch?

As for Evelyn, she insists that I make clear that the only reason she was watching it was because I insisted.

What Was It About?

Tiffani is stressed about making the national volleyball team so she starts taking steroids. Tiffani makes the team but she also starts to snap at people, beat up her friends, and smash plates at the local hang-out.

Meanwhile, in a totally unrelated subplot, Mark, Sly, and Tony compete for the title of Mr. Stud and Jake continues to insist on wearing a heavy leather jacket to the beach.

What Worked?

As well-intentioned as it most certainly was, this episode had a definite Reefer Madness type of appeal to it. California Dreams, much like my beloved Degrassi, presents us with a world where not only can the worst happen but the worst will end up happening within the next 10 minutes. Seriously, how can you not be impressed by the fact that, after a week of taking steroids, Tiffani is literally picking Sly up and throwing him against a locker?

That said, I could relate to Tiffani’s anger in several scenes. Seriously, sometimes, a girl just needs to be left alone!

Evelyn says the main thing that worked about this episode is that the California Dreams never actually performed.

What Did Not Work?

Evelyn and I totally disagreed with the results of the Mr. Stud contest. Seriously, Mark looked good in that tuxedo and I didn’t believe Jake for a second when he claimed to have gotten choked up at the movies. (Oh, and by the way, it’s okay for a guy to cry but he should never sob. That’s the important thing.)

“OH MY GOD! Just like me!” Moments

I have now been told, by five different people, that the character of Lorena reminds them of me and since two of these people were my sister and BFF, I’ll take their word for it. Still, I have a hard time imagining that Lorena would ever have been a fan of Italian horror.

Lessons Learned

Well, duh! Don’t do steroids! Though, actually, it seems like the steroids accomplished their purpose. I mean, Tiffani did make the national team and all. In fact, it seems like Tiffani’s main problem is that people put too much pressure on her so I guess the real lesson here is that you shouldn’t put too much pressure on your friends when they’re using steroids.

What Lisa Marie Watched Last Night #64: The 70th Annual Golden Globes

Posted on January 14, 2013 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Last night, I watched the 70th Annual Golden Globe awards. Judging from twitter, so did a lot of other people. All I can say is that I hope my golden globes are as popular as this show when they’re 70 years old.

Why Was I Watching It?

I have to admit that I nearly didn’t watch it because I was in kind of a crappy mood on Sunday night. Seriously,that night, my twitter timeline was a testament to just how annoyed this little redheaded Irish girl can get. But, in the end, I decided that I had to watch the Golden Globes because, even though I don’t care much for rich celebrities, I do love movies, I love TV, and I love award shows. Add to that, I knew that if I didn’t watch the Golden Globes that would mean missing out on a chance to make countless references to my boobs and I just couldn’t do that to my followers on twitter.

What Was It About?

It was about celebrities getting drunk and winning awards and getting bleeped while delivering their acceptance speeches. It was about the fact that the members of the Hollywood Foreign Press Association will do anything to get George Clooney to come hang out with them. It was about Tommy Lee Jones glaring, Jodie Foster rambling, and Quentin Tarantino using the n-word backstage. It was about Ben Affleck winning Best Director and Argo beating Lincoln for best film. It was about star fucking and star mocking. It was the best of award shows and it was the worst of award shows. In short, it was the Golden Globes.

What Worked?

To be honest, the 70th annual Golden Globes were a lot of fun. The show moved quickly and most of the jokes were actually funny. The assembled stars started drinking early and I think that helped out a lot.

Among those who won Golden Globes, the best acceptance speeches were given by Lena Dunham, Christoph Waltz, Ben Affleck, and Daniel Day-Lewis. A lot of people were critical of Anne Hathaway’s acceptance speech but I thought it was sweet and genuine.

My favorite winner was Jennifer Lawrence, mostly because she specifically started her speech by mentioning that she had beaten “Meryl.” Some people on twitter felt that was a bit rude but, quite frankly, I’ve grown tired of Meryl Streep showing up at every awards ceremony looking like grandma in a prom dress.

(Meryl, incidentally, was not at the Golden Globes last night because she had the flu.)

I thought Will Ferrell and Kristen Wiig were funny when they did their little introduction for the Best Actress (Comedy/Musical) award but I thought Tommy Lee Jones’ annoyed glare was even funnier.

Tina Fey (who looked great) and Amy Poehler (who did not) were both great hosts and I loved Poelher’s joke about how torturous it must have been for Kathryn Bigelow to be married to James Cameron. That’s one of the great things about the Golden Globes. Unlike at the Oscars, people are willing to make jokes about James Cameron.

Unlike a lot of people, I found Jodie Foster’s “coming out” speech to be funny and wonderfully human. That said, I wasn’t aware that Jodie Foster was ever in the closet. Seriously, worst kept secret ever.

It was a genuinely exciting and nice moment when Argo was announced as the winner for Best Motion Picture (Drama), defeating the heavily favored Lincoln. While I liked both of those films, there is a definite backlash brewing against the seeming inevitability of Lincoln’s victory.

Finally, Sacha Baron Cohen was pretty annoying but, on the plus side, he did take the time to insult Russell Crowe’s singing. As anyone who has ever watched South Park knows, this means that Crowe is going to jump in his tug boat and head off on a quest for vengeance.

And that’s the way things should be.

What Did Not Work?

A lot of people on twitter were really excited when Bill Clinton came out on stage to introduce the clip for Lincoln. Myself, I hit mute as soon as I saw him. I don’t watch awards shows to see redneck politicians. Add to that, having Bill Clinton introduce Lincoln was yet another example of the nonstop hype that has led to people resenting both Steven Spielberg and his latest film.

The Golden Globes used to be a fun precursor to the actual Oscar nominations so it was hard not to be disappointed that, under this new schedule, the Golden Globes were awarded after the Oscar nominations had been announced.

“OMG! Just like me!” Moment

“I’ll show you some Golden Globes!”

Lessons Learned

None. I was too stubborn last night to learn any lessons.

10 Good Things That Lisa Marie Saw On TV In 2012

Posted on January 3, 2013 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Someday, I want to have my own tv network. I’ll call it Lisa Marie Television (or LMTV for short) and it’ll be like Lifetime but with the Lisa Marie difference. What’s the Lisa Marie difference? Sweetheart, if you have to ask, you’ll never know. El. Oh. El.

Anyway, as I wait for that day to come, I’m going to continue my series of posts on my favorites of 2012 by telling you about some of the best things that I saw on television over the course of the previous year:

1) SyFy Movies On Saturday

For me, one of the highlights of 2012 has been meeting and getting to know the Snarkalecs on twitter. Who are the Snarkalecs? We’re just a group of very witty people who are capable of appreciating films like Two-Headed Shark Attack and Arachnoquake. Every Saturday night, we watch and live tweet whatever’s playing on the SyFy network. It’s the perfect way to end the week. My favorite SyFy film of 2012? Jersey Shore Shark Attack.

2) The Basic Lupine Urology episode of Community

A great crime has occurred at Greendale Community College. A yam has been callously destroyed and the study group is going to find out who was responsible and make sure the perpetrator is punished to the full extent of the law. This spot-on perfect parody of Law and Order was one of the highlights of Community’s third season. Donald Glover and Danny Pudi were simply adorable playing good cop/bad cop.

3) Joe Manganiello and Alexander Skarsgard on True Blood

The latest season of True Blood may have been uneven but whenever Alexander Skarsgard or Joe Manganiello showed up on-screen, the show was perfect (especially if they happened to be naked at the time).

4) South Park

As always. This year highlights have included the classic anti-bullying episode and the annual Halloween episode.

5) Survivor: Philippines

The previous season of Survivor was one of the best, featuring truly interesting competitors like Jonathan Penner, Lisa Whelchel, Abi-Marie, and Malcolm. Perhaps best of all, the season ended with the most deserving survivor winning the million bucks.

6) Clint Eastwood’s Chair Speech

A lot of very snide comments have been made about Eastwood’s speech at the Republican National Convention but, personally, I think it was brilliant political theater. Even better, his two main points — that the President is essentially an empty suit and the Vice President is a jackass — are looking more and more true with each passing day.

7) The Joe Biden/Paul Ryan Vice Presidential Debate

Speaking of great political theater…. The 2012 Presidential election was dominated by debates but there’s only one that was truly memorable and it was the Vice Presidential debate between Joe Biden and Paul Ryan. While Paul Ryan talked about disaster in his overly serious grad student way, Joe Biden grinned like an aging serial killer deep in the throes of senility. This was less a political debate and more a case of performance art.

8) The London Olympics

I loved watching the London Olympics this year and not just because of the Fab Five, either. The Danny Boyle-directed opening ceremonies were amazing to watch and I had fun going on twitter to ridicule NBC’s hilariously bad coverage of the games.

9) Liz & Dick on Lifetime

Oh, c’mon — it was fun!

10) The Office Made A Comeback…Sorta

After one of the worst seasons in the history of primetime television, The Office has redeemed itself slightly with its current (and final) season. Even Catherine Tate has become tolerable.

Tomorrow, I’ll continue my look back at the past year with a list of my 10 favorite novels of 2012.

What Lisa and Megan Watched Last Night #62: California Dreams S3E3 “Budget Cuts” (dir. by Patrick Maloney)

Posted on December 28, 2012 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Last night, my sister Megan and I continued to bond over episodes of bad sitcoms from the 1990s. Among those episodes was “Budget Cuts,” from the third season of California Dreams.

Why Were We Watching It?

I’ve been spending this holiday week visiting my wonderful sister Megan in Ft. Worth and, for the past few days, we’ve been bonding over the fact that she has almost every single episode of Saved By The Bell: The New Class and California Dreams on DVD.

(Personally, SBTB: TNC has a lot of nostalgia value for me but Megan claims that California Dreams was a “thousand times better” than either the original Saved By The Bell or The New Class.)

Last night, we watched several randomly selected episodes of both SBTB: TNC and California Dreams and, out of all of them, “Budget Cuts” is the one that really stood out.

What Was It About?

Much like the “Belding’s Prank” episode of SBTB: TNC, “Budget Cuts” is an episode that seems to take place in a high school that has an absurdly powerful student body. The school also has its very own radio station that broadcasts nonstop over the course of the entire day. I’m not really sure how this would work, since it seems like this would interfere with things like students going to and concentrating in class but maybe that’s just the way things were in California during the mid-90s.

Anyway, sleazy Sly Winkle (played by Michael Cade) is given control of the radio station and he promptly gives shows to all of his friends. Mark (Aaron Jackson) is a bitchy critic in the style of Addison DeWitt. Sam (Jennie Kwan) gives love advice to a caller who, in the opinion of both me and Megan, was just a guy wearing an ugly wig. Lorena (Diana Uribe) has a show that’s all about fashion. (Yay!) And Jake (Jay Anthony Franke) has a show where he tells people to “Shut up and listen!”

Anyway, the school board is making budget cuts and it appears that the radio station is going to be closed down! After being pressured by Jake, Lorena ends up locking herself in the studio and refusing to come out until the school board agrees to hear the student demands.

Somehow, this works and then, fortunately, Jake shows up at the school board meeting and OH MY GOD! JAKE’S WEARING A SUIT! The live studio audience goes crazy at the sight of Jake all dressed up and with good reason. The boy cleans up well.

But will it be enough to save the radio station?

What Worked?

Every teen sitcom has to have at least one episode where the show’s resident rebel makes an appearance wearing a suit as opposed to his leather jacket. This, of course, is because we all know that the most important thing about a rebel is that he should be able to clean up well. In this episode, Jay Anthony Franke cleans up very well.

What Did Not Work?

Four words: “Absurdly powerful student body.” Seriously. Between California Dreams and Saved By The Bell, California appears to be a state where teenagers are given the equivalent of diplomatic immunity.

“OH MY GOD! JUST LIKE US!” Moments

Both Megan and I agreed that we both identified with the character of Lorena, both because of her temper and her sense of fashion.

Though this episode of California Dreams didn’t actually feature the band performing, Megan and I still decided that we should start a band of our own. We’re going to call ourselves the Cleavage Sisters and we’re going to hire David Foster to write aggressively bland songs for us. Megan will sing them while I dance around the stage. It’ll be fun!

Lessons Learned

Sometimes, people don’t like to be told to “shut up and listen.”

What Lisa And Megan Watched Last Night #61: Saved By The Bell: The New Class S2E9 “Belding’s Prank” (dir by Don Barnhart)

Posted on December 26, 2012 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Last night, as Christmas came to a close, my sister Megan and I continued to celebrate the holiday week by bonding over yet another episode of a bad (yet oddly addictive) 90s sitcom. Last night, we watched “Belding’s Prank,” an episode from the 2nd season of Saved By The Bell: The New Class.

Why Were We Watching It?

You can read the full details here but, long story short, I’m spending my holiday week in Ft. Worth with my sister Megan and Megan (because she’s the best) has every episode of Saved By The Bell: The New Class on DVD. When I learned this, I naturally became super excited because, when I was too young to know any better, I used to watch SBTB: TNC every Saturday morning. Anyway, for the past few days, Megan and I have been bonding over bad sitcoms from the 90s.

(For the record, Megan claims that, if she ever saw a single first-run episode of SBTB, it was just because she was waiting for California Dreams to come on.)

Last night, we watched several episodes of SBTB: The New Class but the one that made the biggest impression on me was the 9th episode of the 2nd season, Belding’s Prank.

(Before anyone asks, yes — we both would have rather been watching Django Unchained or Les Miserables but yesterday, it snowed! Needless to say, we were all excited to look out the window and see snow falling on Christmas. We had fun playing in the snow but there was no way that any of us we were planning on trying to drive in it. Seriously, we live in Texas, where 80 degrees is considered to be a cold front. We don’t know the first thing about driving in the snow.)

What Was It About?

SBTB: TNC was infamous for changing its cast of characters almost every season. When I first saw the show, the main character was Ryan (played by the adorable Richard Lee Jackson) but what I didn’t realize was that Ryan was actually the third main character. He was preceded by a guy named Scott and another guy named Brian Keller. Belding’s Prank is a Brian episode. When we first started watching this episode, I was worried that I wouldn’t be able to follow the episode because I didn’t know much about Brian (played by Christian Oliver) as a character. However, I quickly discovered that Brian had absolutely the exact same personality as Ryan (and, I assume, Scott) and therefore, it really didn’t matter.

Anyway, in Belding’s Plot, it’s prank week at Bayside! Brian is encouraging everyone to engage in increasingly elaborate pranks. Bayside’s principal, Mr. Belding (Dennis Haskins), thinks that it’s all a lot of fun. However, Belding’s assistant, Screech (Dustin Diamond) is concerned because there’s a new district superintendent and he could drop by the school at any minute. It appears that Mr. Belding has yet to meet (or even see) the new superintendent (which is kinda odd when you think about it) and when the superintendent does show up, Belding assumes that it’s a prank. The superintendent, meanwhile, sees that Bayside is in chaos and he promptly fires Mr. Belding.

This is where things get weird. The superintendent holds a school assembly to introduce the new principal. Since this is Saved By The Bell, there’s only about 20 students at the assembly. Anyway, before the superintendent can announce the new principal, Brian stands up and shouts, “We don’t want a new principal! We want Mr. Belding back!” Now, instead of suspending Brian for disrupting a school assembly, the superintendent replies that the students should have respected their principal if they liked him so much.

“Here’s your new principal,” the superintendent announces, “Mr. Richard Belding!”

Mr. Belding steps out on stage. The 20 students at the assembly go wild. So, was Mr. Belding really fired or was he just playing a prank on the students? Or did Brian’s words sway the superintendent?

Seriously, what the Hell’s going on?

What Worked?

Say what you will about this episode overall, it’s here that Dennis Haskins gave perhaps his best performance in the role of Mr. Belding. When Belding came out of his office and told the assembled student, “I’ve been fired,” you truly felt both the man’s pain and the disappointment he felt towards the entitled students who had just ruined his life. I may be wrong but I’m pretty sure that Haskins even had tears in his eyes as he delivered the line.

What Did Not Work?

Okay, let’s ignore the obvious flaws. I won’t go into the odd logic of the film’s plot. I won’t mention the fact that the student body at Bayside High appears to be abnormally powerful and influential for a bunch of public school students. I won’t even talk about the fact that Dustin Diamond is in this episode.

However, I am going to point out one of the most glaring continuity flaws in the history of this show.

As you may remember, in the original Saved By The Bell, Belding’s office was this tiny and depressing room with ugly wood paneling and a window that was never opened. Starting with the second season of The New Class, Belding got a new cheerful office. This office was much larger, much more colorful, and it had large windows that showed off the green campus of Bayside High. A good deal of this episode took place in Belding’s “new” office and, watching it, I couldn’t help but think about how much more cheerful Belding seemed to be now that his office was less oppressive.

However, if you’ll remember, there was a flash forward episode of the original Saved By The Bell that took place in 2003. This was the episode where a bunch of students gathered in the principal’s office so that they could watch a video time capsule left behind for them by Zach, Slater, and Screech. In this episode, it’s established that Mr. Belding is still principal of Bayside in 2003…

AND HE’S BACK IN HIS OLD OFFICE!

But that’s not all! When SBTB: TNC ended in 2000 (3 years before the time capsule episode), it was established that Belding was leaving Bayside so that he could take a job as dean of a college in Tennessee. It was also suggested that Screech (despite never having graduated from college) would be his replacement as principal…

So, what happened during those 3 years that led to Belding returning to Bayside and moving back into his old office? And why did Belding pretend like he barely remembered Screech while watching that time capsule video?

Seriously, this was really bugging me last night. Fortunately, it turned out that it was really bugging Megan as well. We spent about half an hour trying to figure out what had happened and we came up several possible scenarios, all of which concluded with Belding returning to California and murdering Screech in one grisly way or another.

Seriously, we had a lot of fun with it.

“OH MY GOD! Just like me!” Moments

None. Everyone in this episode was just too stupid.

Lessons Learned

It’s fun to come up with grisly ways to kill off an annoying character.

What Lisa (and Megan) Watched Last Night #60: California Dreams 4.15 “Dancing Isn’t Everything”

Posted on December 24, 2012 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Hi, everyone and Happy Holidays! I am currently writing to you from Ft. Worth, Texas where the Bowman sisters have gathered to celebrate Christmas. That’s right, world! The Bowman girls are back together again!

Last night, after a long day of looking at presents and arguing about whether cats are better than dogs (and, by the way, they so are!), my sister Megan and I bonded over some old 90s sitcoms. And that is how we came to spend 21 minutes last night watching the “Dancing Isn’t Everything” episode of California Dreams.

Why Were We Watching This?

A few weeks ago, I was really excited because I discovered that there was a YouTube account that was solely devoted to posting old episodes of Saved By The Bell: The New Class. When I was a little girl, I loved SBTB: TNC (though I always hated Screech) so naturally, I was excited to have the chance to indulge in a little nostalgia. For two days straight, I watched SBTB: TNC on YouTube and then suddenly, all the episodes were gone and replaced with a message saying that the account had been suspended for “multiple reports of copyright violation.”

Oh my God! I was so devastated! And, to tell the truth, I’m still upset about it and I imagine I will be for the rest of my life. Seriously, who cares if the SBTB: TNC copyright was violated? Whoever was responsible for those “multiple reports” better hope that they never meet me because if they do, the claws will come out!

Now, I can hear you asking, “Lisa, what does this have to do with an old episode of California Dreams?” I’m getting there, dammit!

Last night, after everyone else had gone to bed, Megan and I were staying up late and talking about how different the world was now than when we were little. This, of course, led to me telling her the sad story of how SBTB: TNC no longer has a home on YouTube. That was when Megan revealed to me why she is the best big sister in the entire history of big sisters. Megan owns not only every episode of SBTB and SBTB: TNC on DVD, she also owns the first four seasons of the show that came on right after Saved By The Bell, California Dreams!

Now, I have to admit that I don’t remember much about California Dreams. I may have seen an episode or two when I first started watching SBTB: TNC
and later on, I remember that reruns of California Dreams used to show up in syndication along with episodes of the original Saved By The Bell. The show, however, never really made much of an impression on me. Megan, however, claims that California Dreams was “a thousand times” better than Saved By The Bell and since Megan is the best, I’ll give the show the benefit of the doubt.

Anyway, long story short: along with watching several episodes of SBTB: TNC, we also watched an episode of California Dreams. Megan allowed me to select the episode that we would watch and when I selected “Dancing Isn’t Everything,” Megan said, “Let me guess — because there’s dancing, right?”

Exactly.

What Was It About?

The California Dreams are a rock group who sings songs about “surf dudes with attitude.” Their groupie, Lorena (Diane Uribe), wants to win a dance contest at the local hangout. Their manager, Sly (Michael Cade), wants Lorena and enters the dance contest with her even though he’s a terrible dancer. Meanwhile, the California Dreams sing a song that features the keyboardist chanting, “He’s so funky!”

What Worked?

The show was all about dancing so it all worked!

Seriously though, watching this episode was like opening up a time capsule. Just check out the guy using a pay phone at the start of the episode!

Megan and I quickly agreed that Sly and Lorena made a cute couple and the scene where Sly continually breaks out into disco moves whenever the judge’s back is turned was comedic genius. We also enjoyed the look on Sly’s face as he read Lorena’s subtitles.

Finally, how can you not enjoy a show that features a song with a “He’s so funky!” chorus.

What Did Not Work?

Regardless of the episode’s title, dancing is everything.

“OMG! Just like me!” Moments

Needless to say, I totally and completely identified with Lorena during this entire episode.

Lessons Learned

Everything’s better when you do it with someone that you love.