Film Review: Anonymous 616 (dir by Mike Boss)


Anonymous 616 opens with the camera panning over a fairly upscale living room.  It’s tastefully decorated, with a nice white couch and a coffee table and even a painting of the house’s owner.  Unfortunately, all of the furniture and decorations are now splattered with blood.

It doesn’t take long to realize that we’re looking at the aftermath of something terrible.  There are four people in the room.  One is lying naked on the couch.  One is slumped in a chair.  Another has literally been nailed to the wall.  One person wanders through the scene, in an apparent daze.  Is that person a survivor or was that person the perpetrator?

The film flashes back to the hours before the massacre happened.  The room is now clean and happy.  Four friends are having a reunion.  The owner of the house is Eric (David Abramsky), who is very proud of his possessions and his money.  (The fact that Eric is so open and honest about his materialism makes him far more likable than you might originally expect.)  Eric’s girlfriend is an artist named Monica (Lena Roma).  She’s the one who painted the picture of Eric that decorates the living room.  And then there’s Jason (Daniel Felix de Weldon) and his girlfriend, Jenna (Jessica Boss).  Jason is in the Army and will soon be going to Iraq for his third tour of duty.  Jason is proud of his service.  He also proudly states that, unlike so many others, he’s never suffered from PTSD.

The reunion starts out friendly enough, though there’s an undercurrent of tension from the beginning.  Whenever a group of characters all claim to be happy with their lives, you know that something bad is going to happen.  While Monica’s 12 year-old daughter (Bella Shepard) relaxes in her room, the four adults talk.  There are hints of dark secrets lurking in the past and flashes of paranoia.  After passing around a joint, Eric explains that there’s a new drug, one that’s described as being like DMT with “an extra kick.”  Everyone gives it a try.

And the reunion continues.  One person steps into an office and finds an anonymous message waiting on a computer.  “i’m the one who knows everything about u,” the message reads before suggesting that it’s time for the person to finally do what they truly want to do.  “B like God!” the message reads.  “Don’t deny your impulses for the next 4 minutes.”

Anoynmous 616 is a low-budget but effective horror film, one that will keep you guessing whether the messages are real or fake, supernatural or just a reflection of a drug-addled psychosis.  The violence is bloody and disturbing but, at the same time, it’s not just violence for the sake of violence.  There’s a lot of going on underneath the surface, much of which I can’t reveal without running the risk of spoiling the film.  In the end, Anonymous 616 is about more than just blood.  It’s about guilt, anger, repression, and betrayal.  It’s a film that invites you to wonder how well you know your best friends.  Well-directed and acted, It’s not always easy to watch (I had to avert my eyes during a scene involving a mallet) but it definitely makes an impression.

Anoynmous 616 is currently available from Amazon.

 

Bond Is Back!: FROM RUSSIA WITH LOVE (United Artists 1963)


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The Cold War got really hot when James Bond returned to the screen in FROM RUSSIA WITH LOVE, second in the film series starring Sean Connery as Ian Fleming’s Secret Agent 007. Picking up where DR. NO left off, the film is popular with Bond fans for its more realistic depiction of the spy game, though there’s still plenty of action, romance, and quick quips, along with the introduction of several elements soon to be integral to the series.

FROM RUSSIA WITH LOVE has Bond falling for Soviet defector Tatiana Romanova (Daniela Bianchi), who’s willing to help steal a Russian Lektor decoding machine for Her Majesty’s Secret Service. But both she and Bond are just pawns in a larger game, with the international crime cartel SPECTRE making all the moves. Their goal is to not only posses the decoder and ransom it back to the Russians, but to eliminate 007…

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My (extremely late) Black Panther Review


What I loved: The film was a successful genre mashup IMO: it was a super hero flick infused with spy film and Shakespearean drama element. Shuri served as T’Challa’s Q supplying him with advanced technology.  T’Chaka’s slaying of his brother and abandonment of his nephew felt like Hamlet with N’Jadaka serving as the title character.  Loved that the significance of Klaue and shades of N’Jadaka’s and M’Jobu’s connection to him were preserved  in the MCU.  Wakanda and its people were a wonder to behold with the Afrofuture aesthetics! I loved how seeming primitive items like a spear & the border tribe’s cloth were quite advanced.  Those war rhinos stole the show during the final battle scene! Can you get more epic than riding a war rhino into battle (maybe a cyborg raptor riding a rocket rhino)?  Also loved how elements from Priest & Texeira’s run (the Dora Milaje), Hudlin & Romita Jr’s run (Shuri), Coates & Sprouse’s run (Djalia) and Coates & Stelfreeze’s run (kinetic energy redistributed through the Panther suit and the technologically advanced beads) were seamless incorporated into the film.
What I didn’t dig: The death of Klaue & N’Jadaka because that they were such great villains and their absence created a void.  In the same manner that Cottonmouth’s death in the Luke Cage series created a void in the sense such a rich and complex character was snuffed out too quickly.  I rather Klaue or N’Jadaka get the Wilson Fisk treatment in imprisonment and rebuilding a base of power.  Imagine if N’Jadaka was sent to a Wakandan prison and rallied his prisoners (W’Kabi in that number) and possibly prison officials to his cause.  This could build up to the recent Nation Under Our Feet arc on film.  Revealing Wakanda’s true status to the globe would put a massive target on the nation.  It would make the super powers suspicious of them and probably institute plans to destabilize their nation (using men with training similar to Killmonger to accomplish it).   I also don’t believe that sharing Wakandan technology with the world will improve it, especially in nations where a huge divide between poverty & prosperity exist.  The rich would be the only ones that benefited and would probably try to make more money from their ingenuity.  On the flip side, unstable & warlike nations would more than likely try to weaponize those innovations as well.
Where can you get: Your local BestBuy/Walmart/Where ever DVD or Blu-rays are sold

James Bond Begins!: Sean Connery as 007 in DR. NO (United Artists 1962)


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Ian Fleming’s secret agent 007, James Bond, was introduced in the 1953 novel Casino Royale, and was a smashing success, leading to a long-running series of books starring MI-6’s “licensed to kill” super spy. No less than President John F. Kennedy was a huge fan of Fleming’s books, and since the early 60’s were all about “Camelot”, producers Albert Broccoli and Harry Saltzman decided to cash in and bring James Bond to the big screen (the character had appeared in the person of Barry Nelson in an adaptation of CASINO ROYALE for a 1954 episode of TV’s CLIMAX!, with Peter Lorre as the villain Le Chiffre).

DR. NO was the first Bond movie, and the producers wanted Patrick McGoohan, star of the British TV series SECRET AGENT, to play the suave, ruthless Bond. McGoohan declined, and Richard Johnson was considered. He also turned them down, leading Broccoli and Saltzman…

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Cleaning Out The DVR: Party Mom (dir by Michael Feifer)


(I recorded Party Mom off of the Lifetime Movie Network on March 30th.)

Party Mom tells the story of two moms who live in Los Angeles.

Jackie (Krista Allen) is a party mom!  She has a nice house in Beverly Hills, where the party never ends.  She’s always quick to point out that she looks young enough that she could pass for being Ashley’s sister instead of her mother.  For her part, Ashley (Amber Frank) kinda wishes that her mother would be a little more traditional.  Of course, Jackie’s usually too busy trying to get Ashley’s friends drunk to really worry about what her daughter wants.

Caroline (Megan Ward) is definitely not a party mom.  Instead, she’s a hard-working, no-nonsense mom who lives in the Valley with her husband, Gary (Brian Krause), and her two daughters, Brittany (Elise Luthman) and Emma (Savannah Judy).  Caroline just can’t understand today’s teenagers, with their social media and their iPhones and their lack of interest in hanging out with their boring parents.  In Caroline’s day, teens would have loved a chance to spend a night watching TV and eating popcorn with mom and dad!  Now, they just want to sneak out of the house and take selfies.

Brittany thinks that Jackie is the best, though Caroline isn’t quite sure that she wants her daughter hanging out in a mansion where all of the adults are just as stoned and drunk as the kids.  Caroline even attempts to put her foot down and ground her daughter.  Of course, that doesn’t really work.  Instead, Brittany simply sneaks out of her bedroom window and heads for Beverly Hills!

Of course, since this is a Lifetime film, it all leads to the usual combination of underage drinking and tragedy.  When Brittany and a group of drunk friends leave the mansion, a terrible car accident leaves only one survivor.  Jackie finds herself on trial for involuntary manslaughter.  Caroline and Gary are determined to see Jackie pay for being a party mom but Jackie’s rich enough to afford a slick attorney.  In fact, Jackie doesn’t even seem to feel that bad about the car accident or almost anything that happens afterward.  As she explains it, all of the tragedy is due to people from the Valley coming into Beverly Hills, where they don’t belong.  It all leads to murder, arrests, and one final confrontation.

I liked Party Mom, largely because, in high school, my best friend’s mom was a party mom and watching this movie brought back a lot of memories.  At the time, it was always fun going over to my friend’s house and literally getting to do anything that I wanted to do.  Looking back now, of course, it’s easy to say that my friend’s mom was incredibly irresponsible and probably should have been forced to go on Dr. Phil or something.  But, at the time, I was a lot like Brittany.  I just thought it was cool that there was an adult around who refused to care what was being done in her house.

Krista Allen does a really good job in the role of Jackie, tearing through the film like an irresponsible, perpetually drunk tornado.  She especially does well towards the end of the film, when Jackie really goes off the deep end.  Like all good Lifetime film, the melodrama in Party Mom is over-the-top and we’re all the better for it.

Cleaning Out the DVR #19: Things To Watch When You Have Flumonia!


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So I’ve been laid up with the flu/early stage pneumonia/whateverthehellitis for the past few days, which seemed like a  good excuse to clean out the DVR by watching a bunch of random movies:

Bette Davis & Jimmy Cagney in “Jimmy the Gent”

JIMMY THE GENT (Warner Brothers 1934; D: Michael Curtiz ) –  Fast paced James Cagney vehicle has Jimmy as the head of a shady “missing heir” racket, with Bette Davis as his ex-girl, now working for his classy (but grabby!) rival Alan Dinehart. Allen Jenkins returns once again as Cagney’s sidekick, and Alice White is a riot as Jenkins’s ditzy dame. Some funny dialog by Bertram Milhauser in this one, coming in at the tail-end of the Pre-Code era. Cagney’s always worth watching, even in minor fare like this one. Fun Fact: Cagney’s battles with boss Jack Warner over better roles were legendary, and the actor went out…

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What Lisa Watched Last Night #180: Mommy Be Mine (dir by Sean Olson)


On Friday night, I watched the latest Lifetime premiere, Mommy Be Mine!

Why Was I Watching It?

Finally, I’m healthy again!  After spending two freaking weeks getting my ass kicked by allergy season, I finally feel as if I can start writing about and reviewing movies again.  Obviously, after being knocked out for two weeks, I’ve got a lot to get caught up on so I decided what better way to start than to watch the Friday premiere of the latest Lifetime film, Mommy Be Mine?

What Was It About?

It’s Cara’s (Sierra Pond) first day at school and she already has a friend!  In fact, Cara has decided that Summer (Ava Locklear) is her best friend, despite the fact that 1) Cara has only known her for a day and 2) Summer already has a best friend, the wonderfully sarcastic Tori (Megan McGown).

Still, Cara is determined to not only make Summer like her but to also become a surrogate daughter to Cara’s mother, Lianne (Arianne Zucker).  In fact, Cara even starts to call Lianne “mom.”  Everyone agrees that’s kind of creepy but Cara seems like such a nice girl.  I mean, it’s not like she’s actually a psychotic killer who has killed in the past and who is planning on killing again…

Or is she!?

What Worked?

Sierra Pond did a good job as the scheming psycho.  It was obvious that she was having fun playing the role and, as a result, it was fun to watch her perform.  As well, Arianne Zucker was sympathetic as the overprotective mother.  When she finally snapped and told off Cara, it was a great moment.

What Did Not Work?

Usually, I have little trouble suspending my disbelief when it comes to a Lifetime film.  Lifetime films are specifically designed to be melodramatic and just a little bit silly.  That’s what makes them so much fun.  If the characters didn’t always do the stupidest possible thing, the viewer would miss out on the fun of yelling, “Oh my God, you’re so stupid!”

That said, even by the standards of Lifetime, Cara was a bit too obviously insane.  That’s not to say that Seirra Pond didn’t do a good job playing the role.  She appeared to be having a lot of fun with the role.  But, as a character, Cara was so obviously messed up that it was hard to sympathize with anyone who would actually be stupid enough to allow her into their house.  The minute she started calling Lianne “mom” should have been the minute that both Lianne and Summer announced, “Okay, time for you to go away now!”

As good as the rest of the cast was, Ava Locklear sometimes seemed to be lost in the role of Summer.  This was her first leading role and, in some scenes, her inexperience definitely showed.

“Oh my God!  Just like me!” Moments

As always, I totally related to the sarcastic (if obviously doomed) best friend.  From the minute that she first met Cara, Tori not only knew that she was up to no good but she had no hesitation about sharing that opinion.  Unfortunately, characters in Lifetime films never seem to listen to their sarcastic best friend until it’s too late.  Sarcastic best friends always end up dying a little after the one hour mark and it’s a shame.

Lessons Learned

Seriously, if your oldest friend in the world says your newest friend is a psycho bitch, don’t question the conclusion.  Trust the voice of experience.

Pre Code Confidential #19: Marlene Dietrich in SHANGHAI EXPRESS (Paramount 1932)


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Marlene Dietrich is TCM’S Star of the Month for May, and “Shanghai Express” airs tonight at 12:00 midnight EST. 

A train ride from Peking to Shanghai is fraught with danger and romance in Josef von Sternberg’s SHANGHAI EXPRESS, a whirlwind of a movie starring that Teutonic whirlwind herself, Marlene Dietrich. This was the fourth of their seven collaborations together, and their biggest hit, nominated for three Oscars and winning for Lee Garmes’s striking black and white cinematography.

The Director and his Muse

Dietrich became a huge sensation as the sultry seductress Lola Lola in Sternberg’s 1930 German film THE BLUE ANGEL, and the pair headed to America to work for Paramount. Marlene became the autocratic director’s muse, as he molded her screen image into a glamorous object of lust and desire. Sternberg’s Expressionistic painting of light and shadows, aided by Dietrich’s innate sexuality, turned the former chorus girl and cabaret…

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Far Out, Man!: CHEECH & CHONG’S UP IN SMOKE (Paramount 1978)


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Hey Man, if you dig crude, vulgar stoner comedy… wait, what was I saying? Oh yeah, Cheech and Chong, man. These two dudes were, like, really cool dudes, and made a lot of records and stuff, and… wait, what was I saying, man? OK, so Cheech and Chong were hippie culture’s answer to Abbott & Costello , and so popular they starred in a series of doper-themed movies, the first being UP IN SMOKE, a film basically about nothing except two burnouts trying to score some weed. C&C play their familiar personas of Pedro and Man, a pair of L.A. hippies floating their way through the world in a perpetual marijuana haze. . Sure, it’s uncouth, sophomoric, and defiantly non-PC, but had me laughing out loud forty years later!

The supporting cast features Stacy Keach as Sgt. Stedenko, a super-narc trying to stamp out drug use, and he’s a straight-edge riot…

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Drive-In Saturday Night: DR. GOLDFOOT AND THE BIKINI MACHINE (AIP 1965) & DR. GOLDFOOT AND THE GIRL BOMBS (AIP 1966)


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American-International Pictures, never ones to shy away from jumping on a trend, released a pair of secret agent spoofs starring the one and only Vincent Price as the evil supervillain Dr. Goldfoot. AIP president James H. Nicholson himself allegedly came up with the story, wanting to use the film as a showcase for wife Susan Hart, a beautiful woman of limited talent. The first was DR. GOLDFOOT AND THE BIKINI MACHINE, an endearingly goofy little movie co-starring SKI PARTY’s Frankie Avalon and Dwayne Hickman. The two even use the same character names from that previous film, Tod Armstrong and Craig Gamble – only reversed, with Frankie as Craig and Dwayne as Tod!

Mad scientist Goldfoot, an obvious cross between James Bond nemeses Dr. No and Goldfinger, is Price at his campy best, carving up large slices of ham as the malevolent meanie. His fiendish plot is creating an army of…

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