The original The House on Haunted Hill is a classic and one that we make it a point to share every Halloween. And since October is nearly over, now seems like the perfect time to do so!
Be sure to check out Gary’s review by clicking here!
Enjoy Vincent Price at his best!
First released in 1985, Teen Wolf is a bit of an odd film.
Michael J. Fox is Scott Howard, a 17 year-old high student in Nebraska. There’s nothing special about Scott. He plays on the school’s lousy basketball team. He has a crush on the most popular girl in school, even though she barely seems to know that he’s alive. He’s completely oblivious to the fact that his lifelong best friend, Boof (Susan Ursitti), is totally crushing on him. His parents are clueless to Scott’s angst. Maybe the only thing that Scott has going for him is that he is friends with the coolest kid in school, Stiles (Jerry Levine). How cool is Stiles? He’s so cool that his name is Stiles! Actually, to be hones, Stiles seems just as dorky as Scott but this is an 80s film so who am I to argue with the film’s argument that everyone wants to hang out with Stiles?
Then, one night, Scott discovers that he has inherited the family “curse.” He’s a werewolf! But, on the plus side, he’s a really popular werewolf. Everyone at school loves the werewolf. The popular girls want to date the werewolf. Everyone loves seeing the werewolf van surfing. And, even more importantly, the werewolf is really good at basketball! It’s weird because the Werewolf is just as short as Scott was but apparently, being a wolf makes you good at basketball. You have to wonder why the other teams wouldn’t protest having to play against a werewolf. I would be worried that the werewolf would get mad if it missed a shot and kill everyone on the court.
Anyway, Scott is popular but he soon learns that popularity is empty, regardless of whether you’re a werewolf or not. He also realizes the Boof is the girl that he should be going out with but Boof only wants to date Scott. She doesn’t want to date the werewolf. Will Scott find the courage to go to the school dance as himself?
This is a pretty stupid movie but Michael J. Fox brings a lot of heart to the role of Scott and his romance with Boof (who really needs a better nickname) is actually rather sweet. The highlight of the film are Scott’s interaction with his supportive but nerdy father (played by James Hampton). There are a lot jokes that fall flat and the plot never makes much sense but the film itself so amiably dumb that it’s hard not to kind of like it. That said, don’t ever try to surf on top of the van. Werewolf or not, that looks dangerous!
Previous Guilty Pleasures
For today’s blast from the past, we have another dream film from Georges Méliès. In this film, a man (played by the director) appears to dream of a mermaid. This film is from 1904 and, 118 years later, it’s still a charmingly surreal vignette. Georges Méliès reveals himself to be not only a dreamer but a pioneer of the type of special effects that we today take for granted.
What’s an Insomnia File? You know how some times you just can’t get any sleep and, at about three in the morning, you’ll find yourself watching whatever you can find on cable or Netflix? This feature is all about those insomnia-inspired discoveries!
Ah, the mystery of Boris Karloff.
On screen, Karloff was a horror icon. He brought Frankenstein’s Monster to life and influenced generations of actors and horror filmmakers. He was also the Mummy and the first actor to play Sax Rohmer’s international criminal, Fu Manchu and, of course, he won over a whole new generation as narrator of How The Grinch Stole Christmas. Over the course of his long career, Karloff appeared in movies both good and bad. He worked for Mario Bava and Roger Corman and James Whale and Peter Bogdanovich. He was also the host of Thriller, a much-beloved horror anthology series. At the height of his fame, he was often credited by just his last name. Everyone knew who Boris Karloff was.
Off screen, Boris Karloff was a quiet and rather dignified gentleman, one who was widely considered to be one of the kindest and most generous men in Hollywood. Born William Henry Pratt, Karloff’s father was a diplomat and his family assumed that he would follow their career. Instead, William Henry Pratt immigrated first to Canada and then to California and transformed himself into Boris Karloff.
Boris Karloff: The Man Behind The Monster is a documentary that both explores the mysteries of Karloff’s life and also pays tribute to him as an actor. It attempts to answer the question of how such a kindly man could also be responsible for some of the greatest moments in horror. Full of archival footage and interviews with those who worked with Karloff and also those who were influenced by his films (like Guillermo del Toro), the film presents a portrait of a talented actor who was as expressive onscreen as he was somewhat withdrawn in real life. For Karloff, his roles became a way to escape from the troubles of the real world. As the film makes clear, Karloff didn’t start his career planning to eventually become a horror actor and, occasionally, he did chafe a bit at being typecast. However, regardless of what role he was playing, Karloff always gave it his best. He may have appeared in some bad films but he never gave a bad performance. The film not only includes clips from his films but also an examination of what made his performances so special. The analysis of Frankenstein, The Mummy, The Terror, and Targets is especially interesting.
If you’re a fan of horror, this documentary is for you. It’s currently available on Shudder.
Previous Insomnia Files:
The 1983 film, The Healing, tells the story of Dr. John Lucas (played by Brian Jones).
Dr. Lucas has a bright future ahead of him. He’s a successful and popular doctor in Des Moines. He’s making a good deal of money. He’s socially well-connected. He enjoys playing golf every weekend. Unfortunately, he also tends to neglect his wife and son. His wife continually reminds Dr. Lucas that he was originally planning on becoming a doctor so that he could honor God. But now Lucas has gotten materialistic and callous. Lucas laughs off her concerns until, one day, Lucas is interrupted at the country club by a phone call informing him that his wife and son have both been killed in a car accident.
Sinking into despair, Dr. Lucas starts to drink. Soon, he’s such an alcoholic that he has lost his job and his place in society. With the exception of his fellow alcoholics, no one wants anything to do with Lucas. Lucas is prepared to drink the rest of his life away but then, he sees an elderly homeless man having a medical emergency. His natural instincts kick in and Dr. Lucas saves the man’s life and takes him down to the local shelter. At the shelter, Lucas agrees to act as a doctor on the condition that no one push any religious stuff on him. Following another tragedy, Lucas regains his faith. However, his new-found idealism is put to the test when a junkie shows up at the clinic, carrying a switchblade and demanding a fix….
The Healing is another low-budget faith-based film from director Russell Doughten, Jr. Doughten, who started out his film career working on 1958’s The Blob, directed several independent Christian films towards the end of his career. This month, we’ve previously taken a look at Nite Song, Face in the Mirror, and Brother Enemy. Like those films, The Healing was filmed on the streets of Des Moines, Iowa. If nothing else, Doughten’s films served as a reminder that “urban” problems were not just limited to cities like New York, Los Angeles, and Chicago. Instead, homelessness and crime were problems that afflicted every city, even the seemingly quite ones sitting in the middle of the country. Unfortunately, The Healing often portrays the homeless as being plot devices as opposed to actual human beings. In particular, one older gentleman’s only role in the film is to provide Lucas with some advice before promptly dying.
The Healing is achingly sincere in its desire to try to make the world a better, there’s no denying that. Unfortunately, the film’s execution doesn’t always match its high ideals. Brian Jones does a good of turning Dr. Lucas into a sympathetic character but the rest of the cast seems to the struggle with their underwritten characters. The scenes featuring Dr. Lucas and the junkie also feel a bit rushed, as if the film itself was in a hurry to wrap things up. As such, the conclusion of the junkie storyline never feels authentic and since the end of that storyline is also the end of the film, it casts a pall over the entire film.
Personally, as a history nerd, I’m glad that Doughten captured what Des Moines looked like in the early 80s. If I ever find myself in Des Moines, I’ll compare the modern city to the 1983 version. The film has its strengths but ultimately, it’s a bit too uneven to really work.
To be honest, tonight’s episode of HBO’s Tales From The Crypt isn’t really a traditional horror story. Instead, it’s a somewhat satiric homage to film noir. But I’m going to share it anyway. Halloween is about more than just ghouls and ghosts and goblins, right?
You, Murderer is an experiment that doesn’t quite work but is interesting all the same. This episode is basically one long POV shot. Whenever our protagonist sees his reflection, we see Humphrey Bogart staring back at us. Actual footage of Bogart was used in the show. Sometimes it work, sometimes it just looks strange. But it’s always interesting!
This episode originally aired on January 25th, 1995. Enjoy!
How do you make a monster?
According to this 1958 film, the man to ask is Pete Dumond!
As played by Robert H. Harris, Pete Dumond is the chief make-up artist at American International Pictures. He’s so good that he can easily transform handsome teen idols like Tony Mantell (Gary Conway) and Larry Drake (Gary Clarke) into convincing monsters. Everyone loves Pete but there’s a problem. As the new studio head explains it, horror just isn’t that popular anymore. Teenagers are no longer interested in seeing movies about werewolves and Frankenstein’s Monster. Instead, teens now only care about rock and roll. Elvis has killed horror!
(Actually, the film argues that a recording artist named John Ashley killed horror. At the time this movie was made, John Ashley was under contract to American International Pictures and the film even includes a dance number where Ashley performs his latest hit. Ashley wasn’t a bad singer but it’s still hard to believe that he could have killed horror. That said, the choreography is fun and every horror movie needs at least one random dance number.)
Sadly, Pete is about to be out of a job. However, what the studio heads don’t realize is that Pete is more than just a makeup artist! He’s also a master hypnotist! Soon, Pete is using a special foundation cream to hypnotize Tony and Larry. Once he has them under his control, he sends them, in full costume, on a mission to kill anyone who thinks that horror is dead!
There’s a lot of enjoyment to be found in How To Make A Monster. The film not only takes place at American International Pictures but it was produced by AIP as well, so the entire movie is basically full of in-jokes that would only be appreciated by B-movie fans. For instance, the makeup effects that Pete creates are the same ones that were used in I Was A Teenage Frankenstein and I Was A Teenage Werewolf. (Gary Conway wore the Frankenstein makeup in both Teenage Frankenstein and this film.) Towards the end of the film, when Larry and Tony confront Pete at his home, the walls are decorated with all of the monsters that Pete has created throughout the years and attentive viewers will recognize them as coming from such previous AIP films as The She-Creature, It Conquered The World, and Invasion of the Star Creatures. (Seriously, I loved seeing the big crab monster from It Conquered The World hanging on Pete’s wall. I’m sure horror and sci-fans in the 1950s felt the same way.) While the majority of the film is in black-and-white, the scenes in Pete’s home are in full and vibrant color, as if AIP was announcing, “This is what makes the movies fun!”
Needless to say, How To Make A Monster is not a film that was ever meant to be taken seriously. Instead, it’s a rather cheerful send-up of both the film business and AIP’s own status as a B-studio. (At times, I felt like the film could just as easily have been called Sam Arkoff’s The Player.) Watching the film, one gets the feeling that it was largely made as a lark, an inside joke amongst friends. As such, it’s impossible to dislike this energetic little film. Director Herbert L. Strock keep the action moving along and, in the lead role, Robert H. Harris gives exactly the type of over-the-top performance that this material needs.
If you’re a fan of 50s drive-in movies, How To Make A Monster is a film that you simply must see!
Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a new feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Fridays, I will be reviewing One World, which ran on NBC from 1998 to 2001. The entire show is currently streaming on Tubi!
The Cast of One World
One world, one world …. but will those brothers and sisters uptown ever stop living on the streets….
One World 2.4 “The Tangled Web”
(Directed by Mary Lou Belli, originally aired on October 9th, 1999)
Every TNBC show featured at least one episode about waiting in line for concert tickets. (On Saved By The Bell, it was all about getting U2 concerts at the mall.) Every TNBC show would also feature at least one or two episodes about sneaking out of the house late at night. Apparently, that was almost as big a problem in the 90s as teenage gambling. One World combined these two storylines by having Jane and Sui sneak out of the house to get concert tickets.
Meanwhile, at The Warehouse (a.k.a., Miami’s Hottest Under-21 Club), Ben wants to date the new waitress, Gina. Marci warns that Gina has just come out of a bad relationship and is very fragile. “She needs a certain type of man,” Marci says, “and that man is not you!”
“Awwwwww!’ the audience replies.
Anyway, Sui and Jane get busted by the cops for violating curfew. A social worker is sent to the house to determine whether or not the Blakes are adequate foster parents. For some reason, Sui and Jane decide that it’s a good idea to hire actors to pretend to be their parents. (You may remember Zach doing the same thing when Mr. Belding wanted to see his father.)
Meanwhile, Ben dates Gina but he tries to condition himself so that he won’t try to kiss her. He does this by having Neal and Cray administer electric shocks to him while he watches Baywatch….
Especially when compared to the first season’s episodes, it’s all a bit too cartoonish for its own good. Far too often, TNBC shows featured problems that could have easily been solved by the people on the show not acting like a bunch of idiots. This is one of those episodes. Let’s move on.
One World 2.5 “Playing the Field”
(Directed by Mary Lou Belli, originally aired on October 16th, 1999)
“No more rules for anyone!” Dave Blake announces, trying to teach his children why the house rules are important. Soon, the house descends into chaos.
Even more importantly, the coach of a rival school is sending Sui gifts in an effort to bribe her into switching schools! Isn’t that illegal? Sui also gets a new boyfriend but it turns out that it’s all a part of the plot to get her to transfer. Boooo! What an evil school.
Watching this episode, I found myself kind of wishing that I had played soccer in high school. Getting gifts from other coaches seems like it would be fun!
Anyway, this was a cool episode because it was a Sui episode but I do have to admit that I couldn’t stop cringing at the sight of that progressively messier house. We’re all living in one world. Keep it clean!
Twin Peaks: The Return was full of creepy characters but the Woodsmen may have been the creepiest.
“Gotta light?”
“What the Hell was that!?” I said, as I read the final line of Night Games.
First published in 1996, Night Games is another one of those R.L. Stine books in which a group of otherwise law-abiding, wholesome American teenagers decide to live every teenager’s fantasy and have some fun by harassing one of their teachers. (No, Lisa Marie, I loved all of my teachers! Yeah, I hear you but I don’t believe you.) Mr. Crowell seems like a nice enough guy but he’s constantly giving Lenny a hard time so all of Lenny’s friends decide that it’s time to play some “night games” with Mr. Crowell. At first, this is limited to breaking into Mr. Crowell’s house at night and moving stuff around and stealing an item or two. But then Mr, Crowell dies and our narrator, Diane, has to figure out if he was murdered by her ex-boyfriend or her current boyfriend. At no point does it ever seem to occur to Diane that, in an ideal world, she wouldn’t have a history of dating boys who are capable of murder.
Anyway, the only special thing about this book is the final twist and I’m going to reveal it because, otherwise, this is going to be a short review. So, consider this to be your SPOILER ALERT. (I have to admit that every time I type the words “spoiler alert,” I lose a little respect for myself and even more respect for the people who demand that such warnings be used even for a book that is 26 years old.) Anyway, it turns out that Lenny, despite his temper, is not the murderer. Instead, the murderer is Spencer and Spencer …. well, Spencer’s a ghost. He’s come back from the dead just to make Diane’s life difficult. He starts to strangle Diane but Diane hugs him and apologizes to him for not being a better friend. Spencer is conquered by love and his spirit is set free. Yay! All of Diane’s friends are happy but what they don’t realize is that Diane is now a ghost and now she’s plotting to get revenge on all of them!
That’s actually not a bad ending. Diane’s friends were really annoying so they deserve what’s coming to them. Still, it’s interesting that Diane automatically became an evil ghost as opposed to a mournful ghost or a philosophical ghost or a confused ghost. She died and she immediately embraced the dark side. Agck!
Now, that’s scary!
Through the Shattered Lens 