The TSL’s Horror Grindhouse: Attack of the Giant Leeches (dir by Bernard Kowalski)

Posted on October 13, 2022 by Lisa Marie Bowman

It’s time for nonstop drama in the bayous!

Shopkeeper Dave Walker (Bruno VeSota) knows that his wife, Liz (Yvette Vickers), is cheating on him with his best friend, Cal (Michael Emmett)! Dave is determined to catch them in the act and force them to walk out into the middle of the swamp at the end of his shotgun. That would be bad enough but what makes the swamp even more dangerous is the fact that there are two giant leeches living in the water, grabbing whoever they can get and dragging them back to their underground cave! Agck! While Dave plots to get revenge on his cheating wife, game warden Steve Benton (Ken Clark) tries to convince everyone that something really needs to be done about those giant leeches.

Filmed and released in 1959 and produced by Roger Corman, Attack of the Giant Leeches is not a particularly complicated film. The leeches live in the swamp. For various reasons, people keep wandering into the swamp. The leeches keep feeding until eventually, the authorities decide to do something about it. The simplicity of it all is why the film works. Why are there giant leeches in the swamp? How did the leeches become giants in the first place? Who cares? What’s important is that they’re there and they’re hungry for blood. At this point, why doesn’t matter. What matter is what is going to be done about them.

Clocking in at barely an hour and filmed by TV director Bernard L. Kowalski, Attack of the Giant Leeches is an enjoyably overhearted slice of Southern melodrama, full of humid atmosphere and sultry dialogue. The film does a wonderful job of capturing the overheated feeling of being stuck in the country and not having anything better to do than cause some trouble. I mean, it’s very easy for people to say what other should or shouldn’t do in their spare time. But, when you’re actually living in a swamp, you do what you have to do in order to pass the time. At its best, Attack of the Giant Leeches is like Roger Corman meets Tennessee Williams. It’s Southern Gothic, with even bigger leeches than usual. Flannery O’Connor would have been proud.

Yvette Vickers plays the role of Liz with a wonderfully defiant attitude. She’s going to do what she wants when she wants to and if that means running the risk of being forced to walk into the swamp, so be it. If she’s stuck in the bayous, she might as well have a good time. Liz may be frustrated but can you blame her? Meanwhile, VeSota turns Dave into a rather tragic buffoon. Even when he finally thinks that he’s about get his revenge, it turns out that the universe has other plans in store for him. In the end, Dave is fortune’s fool. No wonder stiff but earnest Ken Clark really can’t compete with either of them when it comes to capturing the audience’s attention.

Attack of the Giant Leeches is short but enjoyable and, because the copyright wasn’t renewed, it’s in the public domain and it’s very easy to watch for free. Watch it this Halloween and definitely stay out of the swamp!

Retro Television Review: City Guys 2.1 “Men Behind Bars” and 2.2 “Shock Jock”

Posted on October 13, 2022 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Thursdays, I will be reviewing City Guys, which ran on NBC from 1997 to 2001. The entire show is currently streaming on Tubi!

It’s time for another school year at Manny High! The second season of City Guys opened with the video yearbook in the past and the school radio station in the future. It also featured Chris with the first of many unflattering haircuts. (It’s fully on display in the cast picture above.)

So, without further ado, let’s do it….

Episode 2.1 “Men Behind Bars”

(Directed by Frank Bonner, originally aired on September 12th, 1998)

It’s time for a new school year at Manny High and it’s also time for City Guys to do a “fake ID” show! Apparently, in the 90s, fake IDs were the number one social problem amongst teenagers and, as a result, every single TNBC show did an episode about all the terrible things that can happen when you use a fake ID. The basketball players on Hang Time got suspended for using fake IDs. Zach Morris got yelled at by his mother for using a fake ID. I’m sure something terrible happened to the California Dreams as well, though I can’t remember what it was off the top of my head. Fortunately, I’m reviewing the show on Saturdays so I guess I’ll find out eventually.

On City Guys, Chris and Jamal end up going to jail.

Chris and Jamal just wanted to use the fake IDs to get into a fund-raiser with Tyra Banks. But, when they got caught with them, they were thrown behind bars. Not wanting to call their parents, Chris and Jamal called Al and El-Train to bail them out. Of course, the show had already gone out of its way to establish that Al and El-Train were petty criminals so guess who got arrested when they show up at the jail? (El-Train pretended to be a lawyer, which was too stupid to be believed but at least it allowed for some Steve Daniel humor.) Needless to say, Chris’s new pageboy haircut made him very popular in jail.

Meanwhile, at a school auction, a tutoring session with Dawn and Cassidy is purchased by Bed-Stuy’s Vinnie and Rocco. The show acts as if this is a fate worse than death but do you know who didn’t end up in jail because of their fake IDs? Vinnie and Rocco, that’s who!

“Trying to meet Tyra Banks wasn’t worth all this!” Jamal declares in his prison cell, guaranteeing that he will never be invited to guest judge America’s Next Top Model.

Anyway, don’t touch the fake ID, kids. They’re just not worth the trouble and, if you’ve got the right attitude and if you know how to turn on the charm, you can usually talk people into not checking your ID in the first place. A friendly smile is worth a hundred fake IDs.

Episode 2.2 “Shock Jock”

(Directed by Frank Bonner, originally aired on September 19th, 1998)

Manny High Radio is back on the air!

That’s right, Manny High had its own radio station. So did Bayside on Saved By The Bell. So did the high school from California Dreams. I bet Hang Time had its own radio station as well. In the 90s, dusty high school radio stations were as familiar a sight on Sunday morning television as teens trying to get into a club with a fake ID. Seriously, how do these students have time to run a radio station and go to class?

Anyway, Chris and Jamal become the station’s new DJs, presumably because last season’s video yearbook collaboration went so well. However, Chris and Jamal do not bother to learn all of the broadcast regulations, which leads to them playing a forbidden rap song about how much school sucks. The school board tries to shut the radio station down so, just as happened on Saved By The Bell and California Dreams, the students get dressed up, attend a school board meeting, and save the radio station! Of course, before that, Chris and Jamal try to start a pirate radio station, broadcasting as “The Voice.” Amazingly, no one realizes that Chris and Jamal are “The Voice,” despite the fact that they were the two DJs who caused Manny High Radio to get shut down in the first place.

The main problem with this episode is that it was hard to imagine anyone getting excited over Chris and Jamal’s radio program. Maybe teenagers in 1998 really were as impressed with Good Morning Vietnam call-outs as Peter Engel seemed to believe. Who knows? But, to me, I think most people would change the station or turn down the volume as soon as they heard that, “Good moooooooooorning, Manny High!”

Horror Scenes That I Love: The Hospital Battle from Zombi 2

Posted on October 13, 2022 by Lisa Marie Bowman

In this scene from 1979’s Zombi 2, a group of humans try to destroy the zombies that are invading a small hospital on an isolated island. Director Lucio Fulci later pointed out, in many interviews, that he used the same clips of Al Cliver throwing a Molotov cocktail and firing a shotgun multiple times in the scene.

Two things to note about this scene:

First off, it captures what is truly scary about zombies. They are relentless. They do not stop coming. No matter how many you destroy, there’s always another one following behind it.

Secondly, Italian zombies actually looked like decaying walking corpses that are on the verge of falling apart. That was one huge difference between the Italian zombie films and many of the ones that were made in America.

6 Shots From 6 Horror Films: 1979

Posted on October 13, 2022 by Lisa Marie Bowman

4 Or More Shots From 4 Or More Films is just what it says it is, 4 shots from 4 of our favorite films. As opposed to the reviews and recaps that we usually post, 4 Shots From 4 Films lets the visuals do the talking!

This October, I’m going to be doing something a little bit different with my contribution to 4 (or more) Shots From 4 (or more) Films. I’m going to be taking a little chronological tour of the history of horror cinema, moving from decade to decade.

Today, we take a look at a very important year: 1979.

6 Shots From 6 Horror Films: 1979

Fascination (1979, dir by Jean Rollin)

The Brood (1979, dir by David Cronenberg, DP: Mark Irwin)

Alien (1979, dir by Ridley Scott, DP: Derek Vanlint)

Beyond the Darkness (1979, dir by Joe D’Amato, DP: Joe D’Amato)

Nosferatu The Vampyre (1979, dir by Werner Herzog, DP: Jörg Schmidt-Reitwein)

Zombi 2 (1979, dir. Lucio Fulci, DP: Sergio Salvati)

Horror Film Review: The Little Girl Who Lives Down The Lane (dir by Nicolas Gessner)

Posted on October 13, 2022 by Lisa Marie Bowman

First released in 1976, The Little Girl Who Lives Down The Lane tells the story of Ryann Jacobs (played by Jodie Foster, who was thirteen years old when she made this film).

Rynn lives in a small New England town, in a house that her father has leased for three years. It’s been a while since anyone has seen Rynn’s father. Rynn always tells everyone that he’s either out of town or that he’s busy in his study and can’t be disturbed. When the friendly local policeman (Mort Schuman) expresses some doubt about Rynn’s claim that her father is working, Rynn says that her father is a drug addict, like all of the great poets.

Rynn’s main problem is with the Halletts. Cora Hallett (Alexis Smith) owns the house in which Rynn is living. Cora drops by regularly, haughtily demanding to see Rynn’s father. Her creepy son, Frank (Martin Sheen), also makes a habit of visiting. He’s not interested in Cora’s father. Instead, he’s interested in Cora. Everyone in the town knows that Frank is a perv but no one is willing to do anything about it. He’s protected by his mother’s money.

One day, when Cora drops by, she insists on going into the basement. She says she has something down there that she needs to retrieve. Rynn tells her not to go down there but Cora refuses to listen, which turns out to be a huge mistake. Cora screams at what she sees down there and then falls to her death. With the help of her only friend, Mario (Scott Jacoby) an aspiring magician who walks with a limp, Rynn covers up the murder.

Mario turns out to be a very good friend, indeed. Not only does he tell people that he’s seen Rynn’s father but he even stands up to Frank when he shows up at the house, searching for his mother. However, as it soon becomes clear, Frank isn’t one to give up so easily….

The Little Girl Who Lives Down The Lane is an interesting hybrid of a film. It definitely does have elements of horror. The running theme throughout the film is that Rynn might kill people but it’s all the adults in her life who are truly monstrous. Frank is truly a monster and Martin Sheen gives a remarkably intense and creepy performance in the role. Frank is the type who will say that worst things imaginable and then smirk afterward, confident that he’ll never have to face any sort of justice for his crimes.

At the same time, the film is also a coming-of-age-story and a teen romance. Rynn and Mario are two outsiders who find each other. You like both of them and you want things to work out for them, even though you spend almost the entire film worried that Rynn might end up poisoning Mario. Foster and Jacoby share some genuinely sweet scenes. Things would be just fine, the film seems to be saying, if all of these stupid adults would just mind their own business.

The Little Girl Who Lives Down The Lane is an effectively creepy and sometimes even sweet little film about a girl who occasionally has to kill people. Keep an eye out for it!

Horror on the Lens: Bride of the Gorilla (dir by Curt Siodmak)

Posted on October 13, 2022 by Lisa Marie Bowman

In the 1951 film, Bride of the Gorilla, Raymond Burr plays a plantation manager who commits a murder. Unfortunately, for him, the murder is observed by a witch who promptly puts a curse of Burr. Now, every time the sun goes down, Burr transforms into a gorilla and goes wild in the jungle.

Basically, it’s kind of like The Wolf Man, just with a less sympathetic protagonist and a gorilla instead of a werewolf. Just in case we missed the similarities, Lon Chaney, Jr. plays the film’s nominal hero, a police commissioner who suspects that something weird might be happening with Burr. Apparently, the plan was originally for Chaney to play the gorilla and for Burr to play the policeman but, because Chaney was dealing with a serious alcohol problem at the time, the roles were reversed.

Also in the cast, playing the role of Dina, is Barbara Payton, the tragic actress who is best known for being at the center of a love triangle involving actors Tom Neal and Franchot Tone. In 195000, Neal attacked Tone and beat him so severely that Tone spent 18 hours in a coma. Tone was notably shaky onscreen for the rest of his film career while Neal spent a few years in prison. After the incident between Tone and Neal, Payton could only get roles in B-movies like this one. Tragically, she would pass away, in 1967, of heart and live failure. She was only 39 years old.

October Positivity: Time Changer (dir by Rich Christiano)

Posted on October 12, 2022 by Lisa Marie Bowman

The 2002 movie, Time Changer, tells the story of Russell Carlisle (D. David Morin). Russell is a bible professor who has written a book called The Changing Times. The Changing Times encourages everyone to live a good, moral life but it doesn’t specifically state that they should live a good, moral life because Jesus says so. Dr. Norris Anderson (Gavin MacLeod) argues that the book will actually not lead people to become better but will instead lead them away from Christianity by convincing them that all they have to do is be nice. Carlisle disagrees.

Luckily, Anderson just happens to have a time machine in his basement! When Russell comes over to discuss the book, Anderson suggests that Russell go into the future and see just how changed the world has become. Mostly to humor Anderson, Russell agrees and steps into the machine.

And suddenly, Russell Calirlise is in the year 2002!

What does Russell discover? He learns that even movies about good people still feature things that he finds objectionable. He discovers that even people who go to church don’t always live a perfect life. In 1890, Russell was shocked to learn that the divorce rate was 5% so you can only imagine how he reacts when he goes to 2002 and continually runs into people who talk about their ex-wives. Russell also gets upset when he hears some teenage girls talking about sneaking out of the house and going on an unchaperoned date. The horrors!

To be honest, there’s been a lot of movies that have told similar stories to Time Changer. Someone from the past comes to the “present,” and is shocked to discover how much the world has changed. Time Changer is unique that it’s totally on Russell’s side and essentially argues that we would all be better off if we still embraced the culture of the 1890s. If that sounds a bit preachy, that’s because it is a bit preachy. Interestingly enough, the film has no trouble having Russell explain how he, as someone from 1890, feels about dating, entertainment, and honesty but it leaves out how an 1890 man like Russell would have viewed women or people of color. Russell is shocked by the casual use of bad language but, conveniently for the film’s efforts to make him a sympathetic character, he doesn’t raise an eyebrow at suddenly finding himself in a multiracial society. It’s easy to argue for a return to 1890 morality when you ignore everything that was bad about the 1890s.

That said, the film has a few intentionally amusing moments, even if they’re exactly the type of moments that you would expect to see in a film about time travel. (For example, Russell finds himself fascinated by a light switch.) D. David Morin gives a likable performance Russell and the scene where Anderson hurriedly explains how time travel works as a nice little satire of the genre. It’s far too preachy to really be effective but Time Changer is not a total waste of time. That said, I would far rather live in 2022 than 1890.

Horror on TV: Ghost Story 1.12 “Creature of the Canyon” (dir by Walter Doniger)

Posted on October 12, 2022 by Lisa Marie Bowman

On tonight’s episode of Ghost Story, Angie Dickinson plays a widow who is haunted by the ghost of her late husband’s Doberman. Agck! I’m scared enough of real Dobermans without having to deal with one that is undead!

This episode originally aired on December 15th, 1972.

The TSL’s Horror Grindhouse: Revealer (dir by Luke Boyce)

Posted on October 12, 2022 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Taking place in 1980s Chicago, Revealer tells the story of two seemingly different women.

Angie (Caito Aase) is a stripper who spend most of her day in an incredibly sleazy peep show booth. The men that she dances for are a collection of grotesque pervs. (Keep an eye out and you’ll notice a sign warning that “wet dollar bills” will not be accepted. Ewww!) Angie is under no illusions about where she’s working or who is paying to watch her but she needs the money. She’s putting up with a lot of crap in order to giver her nephew the type of stable life that she’s never had and, understandably, she doesn’t have much patience for anyone who would judge her for it.

Sally (Shaina Schrooten) is someone who spends almost all of her time judging. For weeks, she has been leading protests in front of Angie’s place of employment. As soon as Angie shows up for an extra shift, she is confronted by Sally. Sally claims that Angie is “a harlot” who is leading people down the path of sin and damnation. Angie says that Sally is just jealous because she’s never truly live her life.

Together …. they solve crimes!

No, actually, they don’t. Instead, they find themselves forced to deal with some theological issues when a horned demon unleashes an army of snakes on the world. Angie is trapped in her peep show booth, with no way to get out. Sally, fleeing from the demons, ends up outside the same booth. Sally is convinced that the apocalypse has begun. Angie just wants to get back to her nephew. Despite their differing views and their initially antagonistic relationship, Angie and Sally are going to have to work together in order to survive. Along the way, hidden truths are revealed. Angie and Sally learn that they’re not so different and they even start to become friends. But does that matter, considering that the world apparently ended in 1987?

I had a mixed reaction to Revealer. On the one hand, there’s something wonderfully subversive about setting a film about the end of the world in the distant past. If nothing else, it keeps the viewer off-balance. (I was reminded a bit of how 2001’s Donnie Darko predicted that the world would end in 1988.) As well, the two leads both did a good job with their characters, adding depth and nuance to two roles that could have easily become clichés. In the role of Sally, Shaina Schrooten gave an especially good performance. I wasn’t particularly shocked when Sally revealed her big secret but Schrooten’s performance still made the scene effective.

On the negative side, the snakes were frightening but the demon who controlled them obviously fell prey to the film’s low budget and looked a bit less impressive. As well, the script itself was often overwritten. Sally and Angie’s constant debate over religion felt more than a little heavy-handed. (I mean, it’s easy to win an argument when the screenwriter is on your side.) Even more importantly, they tended to disrupt the flow of the film. Too many scenes stopped dead in their tracks so that Sally could quote the Bible and Angie could get upset about it. Since neither had anything to say about their beliefs that hadn’t already been said in a hundred other movies, their arguments were occasionally a bit dull, despite the best efforts of Caito Aase and Shaina Schrooten.

Revealer was uneven, though the ending was certainly effective and both of the lead actresses did a good job bringing their characters to life. Watching the film, I wondered if maybe the world did end in 1987 and the rest of us just haven’t noticed yet.

Retro Television Reviews: The Love Boat 1.6 “The Joker Is Mild / Take My Granddaughter, Please / First Time Out”

Posted on October 12, 2022 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Wednesdays, I will be reviewing the original Love Boat, which aired on ABC from 1977 to 1986! The series can be streamed on Paramount Plus!

Come aboard, we’re expecting you….

The Love Boat 1.5 “The Joker Is Mild / Take My Granddaughter, Please / First Time Out”

(Dir by Richard Kinon and Alan Rafkin, originally aired on October 29th, 1977)

This week’s cruise is all about remaining true to yourself!

For instance, Julie makes what appears to be a big mistake when she agrees to let a washed-up comic named Barry Keys (Phil Foster) do a show in the ship’s lounge. Throughout the cruise, Barry gets on everyone’s nerves with his old-fashioned jokes and his vaudeville stylings. Captain Stubing gives Julie an annoyed look whenever Barry starts to speak. Julie knows that her career is on the line but she made a promise. And Barry, it turns out, know what he’s doing. When it comes time for his performance, he asks for a stool so that he can sit in the middle of the stage and talk about the generation gap. (“Let’s rap, as the kids say,” Barry says.) Hooray! Barry has revived his career and Julie still has a job.

Meanwhile, Mrs. Warner (Ruth Gordon) is determined to find a husband for her granddaughter, Shirley (Patty Duke, who spends the entire episode looking as if she’s wondering how she could go from winning an Oscar to this). Shirley would like to hook up with the pleasantly bland Dave King (played by Tab Hunter). Mrs. Warner wants her to go out with Dr. Bricker! In the end, Shirley stands up for herself, as any single 30 year-old should. (To be honest, I thought Patty Duke’s character was closer to 40 but that’s mostly the fault of whoever in the costume department decided to make her wear some of the least flattering outfits available.) It’s all for the best. Dave is a nice guy and Doc has an exam room full of pornographic magazines to take care of.

Finally, a group of college students board the ship with one mission in mind. They want their friend Dan (Robert Hegyes, who has a truly impressive head of hair) to lose his virginity. Dan, it turns out, is not only shy but he also has no idea how to talk to women. Fortunately, her runs into Marcia Brady (Maureen McCormick) and it turns out that Marica likes shy, socially awkward guys with a lot of hair. Okay, technically Maureen is playing Barbara Holmes but seriously, we all know that Barbara was actually Marcia.

This was a majorly uneven episode. Barry’s revised act didn’t seem any funnier than his old stuff and it was kind of hard to sympathize with Shirley and her inability to make her own decisions. That said, Maureen McCormick and Robert Hegyes made for a cute couple and their storyline was the most satisfying of the episode. Personally, I think this episode would have worked better if Ruth Gordon had played Maureen McCormick’s grandmother as opposed to Patty Duke’s. McCormick was young enough that it would have been a bit less pathetic for her to be bossed around by her grandmother and one can imagine how Ruth Gordon would have reacted to McCormick picking hairy Dan over a doctor.

Oh well! The important thing is that everything worked out in the end and love won’t hurt anymore.