“Don’t trust your neighbor,” proclaims the tagline for The Wrong Boy Next Door and that’s certainly true when it comes to Lifetime films.
Seriously, in a Lifetime movie, your neighbor is either going to be a seemingly nice woman who is going to end up trying to steal your baby or else a really hot guy who never wears a shirt and who is secretly plotting to kill you and your friends. In the case of The Wrong Boy Next Door, we get the hot psycho who is always wandering outside without a shirt on. John (Travis Burns) may be intriguing but he’s also dangerous. It might be fun to watch him while he’s out in his garage but if he starts watching you back …. look out!
The Wrong Boy Next Door really does capture an essential truth. Bad boys are sexy and the more dangerous the better. While watching the film, it was easy for me to yell that Katie (played by Calli Taylor) was making a huge mistake by trusting John but, honestly, I probably would have made the same mistake back when I was in high school. First off, there’s the fantasy of being the one girl who can reform a bad boy. Secondly, there’s the fact that, when you’re a teenager, you do stupid things because you think you’re smarter than you actually are. I mean, really, that’s the whole appeal of being young. It’s the only time in your life that you can get away with being totally dumb and irresponsible. That’s why there are people in their 30s who are already feeling nostalgic for high school.
Having watched the film, I can say that Katie is one of the greatest Lifetime heroines ever. From the minute the movie starts, she’s getting in trouble. First, she gets caught vaping at school and this leads to her being suspended for a few days. It’s during that time that she first spots John walking around outside. She invites him inside and, two minutes later, they’re kissing. Then, when Katie returns to school, one of her teachers spots her checking her phone in class. When the teacher demands the phone, Katie throws it at her and literally knocks the teacher to the ground! (The school’s principal later says that the teacher looks like she got hit in the face by a baseball.) Go Katie!
So now, Katie’s under house arrest! That means that she has to wear one of those ankle bracelets that beeps if you leave your front yard. The detective in charge of Katie’s house arrest is played by none other than Vivica A. Fox so you know that if Katie breaks the rules, she’s going to be in a lot of trouble. Unfortunately, being stuck in her house is kind of a problem because Katie suspects that John might be as good a guy as he’s pretending to be. But how can she investigate without going outside!?
The Wrong Boy Next Door was a hell of a lot of fun, largely due to Calli Taylor’s energetic and sympathetic performance as Katie and Travis Burns’s menacing turn as John. As is typical of Lifetime’s “Wrong” films, director David DeCoteau kept the action moving at a brisk pace and Vivica A. Fox brought her usual flair to yet another no-nonsense authority figure. All in all, The Wrong Boy Next Door is one for which to keep an eye out.
First released way back in 1972, Payday tells the story of Maury Dann (played by the late, great Texas actor, Rip Torn).
Maury is a country singer. He sings songs about wholesome values and good country girls. His music isn’t exactly ground-breaking but his fans still love him and it’s easy to see why. The movie opens with Maury performing in a small, country club and his charisma is undeniable. He has a good singing voice and he easily dominates the stage. Between songs, he flashes a friendly but slightly mischievous smile. After his performance, he is perfectly charming when he meets his older fans. And, when he meets a younger fan, he takes her outside and has sex with her in the backseat of his Cadillac. He does this while her boyfriend is wandering around the parking lot looking for her.
Maury is a man who is in control when he’s on stage. However, when he’s off-stage, the real Muary comes out. When he’s not singing and basking in the applause of his fans, Maury is …. well, he’s a total mess. Actually, mess doesn’t quite do justice to just how screwed up Maury Dann is. He cheats on his girlfriend. He pops pills constantly. He treats the members of his band with a casual cruelty. When Maury’s off-stage, that charming smile changes into a rather demented smirk. Just when you think Maury’s done the worst possible thing that he could do, he does something even worse.
Payday follows Maury as he is driven through the South, singing songs and ruining lives. Along the way, he gets into a fight with his mother and then a fight with his ex-wife and eventually, a fight with the boyfriend of that younger fan from the start of the movie. We watch as Maury drinks, bribes DJs, and frames his employees for all sorts of crimes. It’s an episodic film about a man who seems to understand that he’s destined to self-destruct no matter what he does.
Payday is very much a film of the early 70s. Though the film may be about a self-destructive country star, it’s hard not to suspect that — as with most of the films from that era — Maury and his adventures were meant to be a metaphor for America itself. Country Western is a uniquely American genre and by showcasing the damage that Maury does to everyone around him, the film seems to be suggesting that Maury’s sins are also America’s sins. The people who idolize Maury and make him a star despite all of his flaws are the same people who reelected Richard Nixon and supported sending young men to die in Vietnam.
It’s all a bit much for one film to carry on its shoulders and spending two hours with Maury Dann is not exactly a pleasant experience but the film works because of the performance of Rip Torn. When Torn died earlier this week, there was a lot of discussion about which performance was his best. Quite a few people on twitter cited his roles in Defending Your Life and The Larry Sanders Show. I personally mentioned The Man Who Fell To Earth and Maidstone. But if you really want to see what made Rip Torn such a great actor, you simply must watch Payday. Maury is a jerk with little in the way of redeeming qualities but Torn gives such a fearless and cheerfully demented performance that it’s impossible not to get caught up in his story. As much as you want to look away, you can’t because Rip Torn keeps you so off-balance that you cannot stop watching. Torn is smart enough to play Maury with just enough self-awareness that the character becomes fascinatingly corrupt as opposed to just being a self-centered jerk.
Finally, Payday simply feels authentic. The film was made way before my time but I’m a Southern girl who has spent enough time in the country to know that the backroads of rural America haven’t changed that much over the past few decades. At times, while watching Payday, I felt like I was back on my granduncle’s farm in Arkansas, walking through high grass and listening to the cicadas while watching the sun go down.
Payday is definitely a film that’s worth the trouble to track down. Watch it and appreciate the fearless genius of the great Rip Torn.
Today’s music video of the day is dedicated to Marianne Williamson. I don’t endorse political candidates. I learned my lesson from all the angry messages that I got after I said I was planning on voting for Gary Johnson in 2016. My outlook is more libertarian than liberal but who knows? Marianne might get my primary vote.
Before anyone says anything, I know that Moby is now officially on the creepy list but I still like his music, especially from the 18 and Play eras. So, you know, why not?
She’s a former high school outcast who can now legally carry a gun. How much of an outcast was Penny? She was such an outcast that she was humiliated at a school dance by a bunch of popular kids who tied her down to a chair, made her up to look like a pig, and then displayed her in front of the entire class. Seriously, how do teenage bullies come up with stuff? I mean, I was never one to take part in bullying but, even if I was, my ADD would make it impossible for me to pull off most of the elaborate schemes that always seem to take place in movies like this.
Anyway, Penny was traumatized by the whole incident but she still managed to graduate and eventually become a cop. That’s right. Penny is upholding the law and she’s got an entire department to back her up in case she happens to shoot anyone and …. well, can you see why this might be a problem for her former high school classmates?
One night, Penny is called out to investigate a home invasion. After Penny shoots the home invader dead, she meets with the home’s owner and it turns out to be a former classmate, Tara (Kaitlyn Black)! Tara, who seems to have no memory of Penny’s life being destroyed in high school, is soon hanging out with her old classmate. She invites her to a party. She and Penny go out to the desert for target practice. The whole time, of course, Penny keeps imagining that she’s surrounded by the taunting laughter of her former classmates. Penny’s going to get her revenge, even if it means coming up with a scheme that’s even more ludicrously elaborate as the one that embittered her in the first place.
Hometown Killer is a classic Lifetime film, one that full embraces every melodramatic possibility of its storyline. Penny may be a dishonest murderer but you still feel sorry for her because of what she went through in high school. This is one of those films that makes you think, “Y’know, she probably she shouldn’t be doing this but maybe she should.” Director Jeff Hare adds enough little quirky touches to distinguish Hometown Killer from other, similar films. I especially liked the way the he took us in and out of Penny’s mind, always keeping us off-balance as to whether or not we were seeing what was really happening or if we were instead seeing what Penny thought was reality. It kept the audience off-balance and, as a result, Hometown Killer generated a lot more suspense than the average Lifetime film.
The success of a film like this pretty much hinges on the actress playing the killer and Ashley Gallegos did a great job of making Penny both sympathetic and frightening. Perhaps her greatest moment in the film is when she simply watches the chaos that she’s created and allows herself a slightly satisfied smirk. It’s a small moment but it tells us everything that we need to know about what’s going on in her head. Also impressive was Kelly Marcus, who was wonderfully obnoxious as the prototypical high school bully who never adjusted to life in the real world.
Hometown Killer aired on Lifetime and, Lifetime being Lifetime, it will undoubtedly air again. Keep an eye out for it!
Actually, Maddie (Cindy Busby) is not a mother, though she would like to be. She not even a stepmother, despite what the title says. Instead, she’s just dating the recently widowed Michael (Corin Nemec). If she does end up marrying Michael, Maddie will become a stepmother — perhaps even a WRONG stepmother — to his two daughters, Lilly (Calli Taylor) and Nicole (McKinley Blehm).
It doesn’t take Lilly long to realize that there’s something off about Maddie. For one thing, she catches Maddie trying to check her social media. Then she overhears Maddie claiming to be her mother. And finally, Maddie changes up Lilly’s college admission essay. See, Lilly wrote about how much her late mother influenced her. Maddie, however, changes it into an essay about how much Lilly loves her future stepmother.
Yes, Maddie has some issues. As we discover at the start of the film, she has a history of stalking people. About halfway through the film, she murders two people. Whenever you’re watching a film on Lifetime, you know someone’s going to get murdered at exactly halfway through the film. You can set the time by it.
As with all of Lifetime’s “Wrong” films, Vivica A. Fox has a small role. In this one, she plays Ms. Price, the high school guidance counselor who is extremely unimpressed by Lilly’s college admissions essay. When Ms. Price confronts Lilly about how unimpressive her essay was, Fox delivers the lines with such subtle fury and annoyance that it brought back a lot of high school memories for me. As played by Fox, Ms. Price is the type of high school counselor who scares you to death but who also changes your life for the better. If Ms. Price had been my counselor, I definitely wouldn’t have spent so much time skipping class and shoplifting makeup at Target.
Anyway, the main complaint that you always hear about Lifetime films is that they’re all exactly the same but that’s actually their appeal. They’re fun to watch, precisely because 1) they’re predictable and 2) the viewer is always going to be smarter than the people in the movie. I mean, we can take one look at Maddie and say, “Okay, don’t let her in the house.” However, Michael’s not that smart and, if he was, we really wouldn’t have a movie. Sometimes, you just have to stop crying about plausibility and enjoy what you’re watching.
The Wrong Stepmother gets a big boost from the casting of the always likable Corin Nemec as Michael. I mean, it’s pretty much impossible not to root for a character played by Corin Nemec, even if that character is way too trusting of someone who he met on a dating app. Meanwhile, Cindy Busby is properly psychotic as Maddie and, of course, you’ve got Vivica A. Fox changing lives as Ms. Price.
The Wrong Stepmother is an entertaining Lifetime film. Watch it with your snarkiest friends.
According to the good people at Checkiday, the proper way to celebrate National Bikini Day is to put on a bikini and head to the beach! Unfortunately, I don’t live anywhere near the beach so instead, I’ve just been cleaning the house and taking out a wasp nest while wearing a bikini, which is an experience that’s both frightening and empowering at the same time.
(Seriously, we had a huge wasp nest that showed up overnight over the front door. I went outside and sprayed the nest, which resulted in the porch getting covered with dying and angry wasps. Of course, that’s when I realized that, because of the whole bikini thing, I had put on a t-shirt but I’d forgotten to put on shoes so I was barefoot, the backdoor was locked, and I didn’t have my keys on me, again because of the whole bikini thing. Rather than walking in bare feet across a porch covered by angry wasps, I literally crawled through a window to get back in the house, at which point I put on my shoes, went outside, and swept up all the wasps and the nest. It’s been quite a day!)
Anyway, as we often do here at the Shattered Lens, we’re going to recognize both this holiday and four of our favorite movies! Here, in honor of National Bikini Day, are….
So, usually, whenever a holiday rolls around, Doc, the ennui-afflicted TSL Cat, writes a celebratory post. Every year, I get people asking me how Doc, with his big paws and his lack of a formal education, can handle typing out a 500-word post. And every year, I say the same thing: “Doc can do anything he puts his mind to!”
That said, I wanted to write today’s holiday post because I do have a very important message that I want to share with anyone who might be reading this. I share this every year but, judging by the thunderous explosions and crackling bangs that kept me away last night, it needs to be said again.
First off, it’s great that you have fireworks but you know what? You don’t need to shoot them off in your back yard! GET OUT OF THE SUBURBS IF YOU’RE GOING TO SHOOT THOSE THINGS OFF! Go out to the country and drink your beer and blow your hands off out there. A few years ago, we actually had some drunken idiots who tried to shoot off fireworks in the middle of the street and it’s the closest I’ve ever come to calling the police on anyone.
Seriously, fireworks are fun and America’s great. But neither one of those is an excuse for being a dick.
Secondly, remember that most animals aren’t going to be aware that today is Independence Day. What we think of as being a celebration is going to sound like the end of the world to them. Take care of your pets and make sure they’re safely inside tonight. Doc’s probably going to spend tonight under my bed, as he often seems to do during the noisy holidays. Fortunately, after about an hour, he forgets why he’s hiding and instead concentrates on trying to play tag whenever he sees my ankles.
Finally, the sounds of this holiday can bring back terrible memories for some people. Please keep our veterans in mind before you try to make your neighborhood sound like a war zone.
So, I guess my 4th of July message is this: Be kind. Be considerate. Let’s be the best that we can be.
The other night, I watched 2018’s The House That Jack Built on Showtime and I have to say that, sitting here the morning afterwards, I kind of wish that I hadn’t. It’s a well-made film and there’s a bit more going on underneath the surface that some other reviews might lead you to suspect but, at the same time, it’s also deeply unsettling and, even by the standards of Lars von Trier, disturbing. It’s not a film to watch right before you go to bed, nor is it a film to watch at the beginning of a long week. I’m still feeling the after effects of having watched this movie and I imagine I’ll probably be jumpy for the next few days.
The title character, Jack (Matt Dillon), is someone who loves to talk about himself. He’s an engineer but he wishes he was an architect. He thinks of himself as being an artist and an intellectual and he has no hesitation about informing you that he’s smarter than just about everyone else on the planet. He’s annoyed that he’s not better-known. He feels that his work is underappreciated.
The House that Jack Built runs two and a half hours and, as a result, we spent a lot of time listening to Jack talk. One thing that quickly becomes apparent is that Jack knows a lot but he understand very little. He spends a lot of time talking about Glenn Gould, Goethe, and Nazi architecture but his thoughts on them are rather shallow and predictable. When we see flashbacks to Jack’s youth, we don’t see any signs of the intelligence that he claims to possess as an adult. Instead, we just see a scowling country boy who used to abuse animals. Jack may insist on calling himself “Mr. Sophistication” but there’s really nothing sophisticated about him and one gets the feeling that his faux intellectualism is something that he developed to justify the fact that he’s a sociopath and a serial killer. Jack claims to have murdered at least 60 people and he also says that each murder was a work of art. If art reflects the time and place in which it was made than how can we condemn Jack for reflecting the soullessness and cruelty of the real world in his own creations? The answer, of course, is that we can very easily condemn Jack. Jack uses the state of the world to justify his actions but that doesn’t mean we have to buy what he’s selling.
The House That Jack Built is built around a lengthy conversation between Jack and an enigmatic character named Verge (Bruno Ganz). Jack shows Verge the “five incidents” that, over the course of 12 years, have defined who Jack is as a person and a serial killer. The five incidents feature Jack killing everyone from a stranded motorist (Uma Thurman) and a grieving widow (Siobhan Fallon Hogan) to a terrified mother and her two sons. Jack has a brief and toxic relationship with one of his victims (heart-breakingly played by Riley Keough) and it leads to an act of violence that’s so disturbing that I don’t even want to relive it long enough to write about it. Throughout it all, Jack tries to justify himself while Verge continually calls him out on his bullshit. Watching the film, I found myself very thankful for Verge. The film would have been unbearable if it has just been Jack bragging on himself, unchallenged. Verge not only calls out Jack but also anyone who would idolize someone like Jack. At times, the film itself seems to be ridiculing the whole idea of the Hannibal Lecter-style serial killer. There’s nothing suave or witty about Jack. He’s just a loser with no soul.
Even though I was watching the R-rated version (as opposed to the unrated director’s cut), the murders were still disturbingly graphic. But what really made the film unsettling was its peek into Jack’s nihilistic worldview. As much as he may try to convince you otherwise, it soon becomes clear that there’s nothing going on inside of Jack’s head. When Jack isn’t suffering from delusions of grandeur, he’s mired in self-pity. (Listening to Jack, one is reminded of the infamous BTK Killer, who spent hours in court describing his murders without a hit of emotion but who later broke into tears when informed that he would be spending the rest of his life in prison.) Unlike most movie serial killers, Jack doesn’t have a flamboyant origin story or any sort of trauma-related motive for his crimes. He kills because he wants to. Jack is capable of being superficially charming. As a sociopath, he’s learned how to put people at ease. But there’s nothing behind that charm. When he performs some post-mortem surgery to give one of his victims a permanent smile, the results are grotesque because Jack has no idea what a real emotion looks like. (Jack weakly waves at the body, as if he’s trying to teach himself how to act like a normal person.)
Throughout the film, we get a lot of stock footage. (It’s justified by the fact that Jack is talking about art and history, two subjects about which he only has a surface knowledge.) Interestingly enough, we also get several clips that were lifted from Von Trier’s previous films. At one point, Jack passes a cabin that some viewers will recognize from Antichrist. While Jack tries to dispose of a body, David Bowie’s Fame plays on the soundtrack and it’s hard not to be reminded of how Bowie’s Young Americans played over the closing credits of both Dogville and Manderlay. We’re left to wonder if Jack is meant to be, in some way, a stand-in for Von Trier. Much like Jack, Von Trier is often accused of using his own artistic pretensions to justify a nihilistic and misogynistic worldview. It’s easy to imagine Verge as a stand-in for some of Von Trier’s fiercest critics. What then are we to make of the fact that the film also portrays Verge as being correct and Jack as being (literally) bound for Hell? Is Von Trier telling us that, as much as some people may dislike him and his work, at least he’s not a serial killer like Jack? Is Von Trier attacking himself? Or is Von Trier perhaps satirizing his own controversial persona? Perhaps all three are correct.
By the film’s end, Jack is in Hell. Interestingly enough, the portal to Hell is found in a house that’s made up of the bodies of Jack’s many victims. Verge — short for Virgil, of course — gives him a tour. When Jack sees a broken bridge, Virgil informs him that it once led to Heaven but it can’t be crossed now. However, Jack is convinced that he can climb over a cliff and make his way to Heaven. Virgil assures Jack that many have tried but none have succeeded. Jack, of course, tries and, needless to say, he doesn’t make it. In the end, redemption is impossible and yet you wonder how, in a world with Heaven and, one assumes, God, Jack even came to exist in the first place. If Jack had channeled his sociopathic nature into something more productive than murder, would he have been allowed into Heaven?
As I said, it’s a well-made film but it’s also deeply unsettling. I’m probably going to be jumping at my own shadow for at least a week or two. At the very least, I’m not answering the door for anyone….
