Retro Television Review: Homicide: Life On The Street 4.13 “I’ve Got A Secret”


Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Sundays, I will be reviewing Homicide: Life On The Street, which aired from 1993 to 1999, on NBC!  It  can be viewed on Peacock.

Ring ring.  “Homicide.”

Episode 4.13 “I’ve Got A Secret”

(Dir by Gwen Arner, originally aired on February 2nd, 1996)

This week, almost everyone has a secret.

For example, when Pembleton and Bayliss are called in about a man found dead in his car, they discover that, earlier in the day, he went to a local ER after being shot.  The gunshot wound, which was accidental, didn’t kill him.  Instead, it was the internal bleeding that the doctor either missed or intentionally ignored.  Dr. Kate Wystan (Mimi Kennedy) may come across as being a selfless doctor who has dedicated her life to helping the residents of Baltimore’s most crime-ridden neighborhood but Pembleton and eventually Bayliss come to suspect that her secret is that, because the victim was black and a known criminal, she didn’t give him the same standard of care that she gives to her other patients.  Pembleton considers this to be murder, though it sounds more like a case of malpractice than anything else.

Munch spots Kay kissing a man outside of police headquarters and he becomes obsessed with trying to figure out who the man is.  He’s always believed that Kay is happy being single and alone.  (Uhm, hello?  Munch?  Remember when she dated Ed Danvers?)  Kay’s secret is that apparently she has a life outside of Homicide.

Finally, Lewis and Kellerman spend the entre episode chasing a burly man who is wanted for killing both of his parents.  At first, this entire storyline feels almost like a parody of NBC’s request that the series start featuring more action.  Lewis and Kellerman spend the entire first half of the episode chasing this guy through allies and pool halls and every time, they fail to catch him.  There’s none of the badass heroics that we’ve come to expect from cop shows.  Eventually, Lewis reveals that his brother is in a mental institution.  When Lewis tries to visit his brother, he’s just turned away.  Lewis’s secret is that he actually cares about his brother.

This was an okay episode.  By this point in the series, Homicide had reached the point where it could do an episode where the true enjoyment came less from the storyline and more from just listening to the characters talk to each other.  I really didn’t care much about the crimes that they were investigating.  Instead, I just enjoyed listening to Pembleton and Bayliss talk and bounce ideas off of each other.  They’ve come along way since the day that Bayliss objected to Pembleton’s interrogation technique and Pembleton shouted that he would never have a partner.  By the same token, Kellerman and Lewis have their own unique chemistry that is fun to experience.  They’re like the sensitive frat cops.  As for Munch and Kay, they should just hook up already.  It’s obvious to everyone that they’re in love!

Maybe that’s their secret?

Scene That I Love: Harold Lloyd Climbs The Side Of A Building In Safety Last


For today’s scene that I love, here’s Harold Lloyd in 1923’s Safety Last, climbing the side of a building and nearly getting killed by an untrustworthy clock.  Lloyd performed all of his stunts in this scene so it wasn’t just the character holding on for dear life.  It was also Lloyd himself.

Song of the Day: Changes by David Bowie


Here’s David Bowie with Changes!

Still don’t know what I was waiting for
And my time was running wild, a million dead-end streets and
Every time I thought I’d got it made
It seemed the taste was not so sweet

So I turned myself to face me
But I’ve never caught a glimpse
Of how the others must see the faker
I’m much too fast to take that test

Ch-ch-changes
(Turn and face the strain)
Ch-ch-changes
(Don’t want to be a richer man)

Ch-ch-changes
(Turn and face the strain)
Ch-ch-changes
(Just gonna have to be a different man)

Time may change me
But I can’t trace time

I watch the ripples change their size
But never leave the stream of warm impermanence and
So the days float through my eyes
But still the days seem the same

And these children that you spit on
As they try to change their worlds
Are immune to your consultations
They’re quite aware of what they’re going through

Ch-ch-changes
(Turn and face the strain)
Ch-ch-changes
(Don’t tell them to grow up and out of it)

Ch-ch-changes
(Turn and face the strain)
Ch-ch-changes
(Where’s your shame, you’ve left us up to our necks in it)

Time may change me
But you can’t trace time

Strange fascination, fascinating me
Ah changes are taking the pace I’m going through

Ch-ch-changes
(Turn and face the strain)
Ch-ch-changes
(Oh, look out you rock ‘n rollers)

Ch-ch-changes
(Turn and face the strain)
Ch-ch-changes
(Pretty soon now you’re gonna get older)

Time may change me
But I can’t trace time

I said that time may change me
But I can’t trace time

Songwriters: David Bowie

4 Shots From 4 Films: Special Luchino Visconti Edition


4 Shots From 4 Films is just what it says it is, 4 shots from 4 of our favorite films. As opposed to the reviews and recaps that we usually post, 4 Shots From 4 Films lets the visuals do the talking!

The great Italian director Luchino Visconti was born 119 years ago today.  It’s time for….

4 Shots From 4 Luchino Visconti Films

Le Notti Bianche (1957, dir by Luchino Visconti, DP: Giuseppe Rotunno)

The Leopard (1963, dir by Luchino Visconti, DP: Giuseppe Rotunno)

The Damned (1969, dir by Luchino Visconti, DP: Armando Nannuzzi and Pasqualino De Santis)

Death in Venice (1971, dir by Luchino Visconti, DP: Pasqualino De Santis)

 

Late Night Retro Television Review: Saved By The Bell 1.3 “The Gift”


Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Saturdays, I will be reviewing Saved By The Bell, which ran on NBC from 1989 to 1993.  The entire show is currently streaming on Prime and Tubi!

This week, Zack exploits his best friend.

Episode 1.3 “The Gift”

(Dir by Dennis Erdman, originally aired on September 8th, 1989)

Screech gets stuck by lightning!

Wow, I guess he’s dead now.  Oh wait, this is Saved By The Bell.  People get struck by lightning all the time.  Screech isn’t dead.  Instead, he can now see into the future.  Zack is thrilled that his friend has a power that he can exploit and Screech is thrilled to be exploited.  (That’s actually kind of sad.)  It’s all fun and games when Zack uses Screech’s powers to trick Slater into losing his bomber jacket.  But then, when Zack attempts to use Screech to pass Terrible Testaverde’s history midterm, things fall apart.

Terrible George Testaverde (John Moschitta, Jr.) is supposed to be the most fearsome teacher at Bayside.  Everyone fears his superhard midterms.  From what we see of his class, he actually appears to be a surprisingly easy teacher, albeit one who talks extremely fast.  His midterm questions also don’t seem that tough.  Essentially, Zack and the Bayside crew are freaking out because they’re going to have write an essay on three basic questions about the American Revolution.  What a bunch of wimps.  Seriously, I could pass Testaverde’s midterm with my eyes closed.

Screech loses his powers after Zack accidentally spills a drink on him but still comes up with three questions that Testaverde might ask.  Zack sets up a study date with Kelly, one that is crashed by Jessie, Lisa, and Slater.  Zack assures them that he knows what the three questions will be.  Jessie says, “You would never lie to Kelly, would you, Zack?”

Screech later says that he’s seeing three different questions, which means that it’s time for another wacky plot!  Zack pretends to be Mr. Belding and calls Testaverde and tells him that the school is flooded.  Then, he pretends to be Testaverde and calls Belding and says that he has laryngitis and he needs Belding to administer his midterm.  Neither Belding nor Testaverde apparently notice that the person calling them sounds like he’s 14.

The plan nearly works.  Belding gives the class the three questions that Zack called him with.  But then Testaverde shows up, dress like a plumber.  “My school needs me!” he says.  Testaverde and Belding eventually figure out what happened.  (These aren’t the smarter public educators in the world.)  Testaverde administers the real midterm….

Jessie gets a C and faints.  Slater doesn’t seem to care about his grade, mostly because Slater’s a bad ass.  Zack gets an “F minus, for scamming.”  He also has to be Slater’s slave for a month.  (Slater has Zack order a pizza.  Zack asks for one with the “hottest peppers you can find.”)  Screech passes because he actually studied so Zack makes fun of him and the audiences goes wild….

Watching this episode, I realized that the appeal of Saved By The Bell was how incredibly amoral it was.  There was no right or wrong and there were no consequences.  Zack fails a midterm.  He lies to both a principal and a teacher.  He reacts to Screech getting struck by lightning by taking advantage of him (as opposed to calling an ambulance).  And, other than having to order a pizza for Slater, nothing bad really happens to him.  Most shows would make a big deal about the importance of getting good grades and caring about your friends.  Not Saved By The Bell!  Saved By The Bell takes place in a world where, even when Zack loses, he somehow wins.  I can understand why that would appeal to many viewers.

Next week, Kelly convinces Zack that she’s going to kill him.

Lisa Marie’s Week In Television: 10/26/25 — 11/1/25


This week was all about horror movies but here’s a few thoughts on what little of episodic television that I watched this week.

Abbott Elementary (Wednesday Night, ABC)

Why would they take the kids camping?  This episode made no sense to me.  I’m a little tired of hearing about Gregory’s “goofballs.”

Dragnet (YouTube)

I watched the “Night School” episode and the “Talk Show” episode.  They both made me smile.  I’ve seen them so many times that watching them automatically relaxes me.

Hell’s Kitchen (Thursday Night, F0x)

Will the Blue Team ever get it together?  I assume they will eventually.  The men always seem to start out weak before becoming unbeatable towards the end of the season.  Still, right now, I wouldn’t want any of these people making me anything to eat.

Law & Order (Thursday Night, NBC)

For the second week in a row, Maroun did not appear.  I don’t really have a problem with that, as Maroun was (is?) kind of an annoying character but it’s hard not to notice that now, neither Reid Scott nor Hugh Dancy are working with a partner.  I also noticed this week that Reid Scott, Hugh Dancy, and Tony Goldwyn all look way too similar.  Suddenly, Law & Order is dominated by sickly-looking white guys.

Retro Television Review: Baywatch 1.4 “Message In A Bottle”


Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Saturdays, I will be reviewing Baywatch, which ran on NBC and then in syndication from 1989 to 2001.  The entire show can be viewed on Tubi.

Save me!

Episode 1.4 “Message In A Bottle”

(Dir by Kim Manners, originally aired on October 20th, 1989)

Hobie’s such a dumbass.

For the second time in like four episodes (and that’s not counting the pilot), the entire Baywatch team is mobilized to search for him after he goes missing.  This time, Hobie overhears Mitch and his ex-wife arguing over who should have custody of him so Hobie and two of his stupid little friends head off to an island that’s also being used by a couple of murderous modern-day pirates.

Seriously, Hobie — stuff like this isn’t going to look good when Craig is in court and trying to argue that you should stay in California with your Dad.  So far, Hobie has nearly been killed by a collapsing pier, he’s ended up getting chased by a murderer on a jet ski and, in this episode, he’s menaced by two other murderers.  It’s time to send Hobie to Indiana or some place else where there’s no ocean.

In other news, Shauni accidentally drives over Eddie’s foot so Mitch orders them to work the 24-hour shift together so that they can learn how to work as a team.  Truth be told, Eddie is  a bit of whiny punk and he definitely needs to learn how to work with other people.  That said, I think Mitch is overlo0king the fact that Shauni, a trained lifeguard, drove over someone’s foot.  (Shauni was apparently backing out and didn’t realize Eddie was behind her, which is even worse.)  Mitch finds the whole thing to be amusing and, later, Shauni has a good laugh when she nearly runs over Eddie a second time.  I don’t think any of these people should be anywhere near anyone who needs help.  Sometimes, people really should just stand in the darkness.

This episode was supposed to make me appreciate the efforts of the Baywatch lifeguards to protect the beach and to find missing kids like Hobie.  Instead, it just made everyone look incompetent and irresponsible.  Halfway through this episode, I wanted someone to get attacked by a shark.  It hasn’t happened yet but at least the show has given me something to which to look forward.

Live Tweet Alert: Watch The Howling With #ScarySocial!


As some of our regular readers undoubtedly know, I am involved in a few weekly live tweets on twitter.  I host #FridayNightFlix every Friday, I co-host #ScarySocial on Saturday, and I am one of the five hosts of #MondayActionMovie!  Every week, we get together.  We watch a movie.  We tweet our way through it.

Tonight, for #ScarySocial, I will be hosting a true classic, The Howling!

If you want to join us on Saturday night, just hop onto twitter, start the film at 9 pm et, and use the #ScarySocial hashtag!  The film is available on Prime!  I’ll be there co-hosting and I imagine some other members of the TSL Crew will be there as well.  It’s a friendly group and welcoming of newcomers so don’t be shy!