“G.I. Joe is the code name for America’s daring, highly trained special mission force. Its purpose: to defend human freedom against Cobra, a ruthless terrorist organization determined to rule the world!”
With their numerous victories over Cobra, the Joes have been getting pretty cocky. When they’re nearly defeated in a surprise Cobra attack, General Hawk brings in Sgt. Slaughter to whip them into shape. Sgt. Slaughter, the wrestler? More or less. He’s never identified as being a wrestler. Instead, he’s supposed to be a real, tough-as-nails drill sergeant. But he’s voiced by the wrestler, and he looks just like the wrestler so he is the wrestler whether he admits it or not.
Meanwhile, some members of Cobra think that it might be time for a change in management, seeing as how Cobra Commander has yet to launch a single successful operation. Dr. Mindbender decides to steal DNA from the tombs of the world’s greatest conquerors and use it to create a Cobra Emperor. Since this is the ’80s, it requires a full-scale military operation to get DNA. The Joes can’t stop Cobra from getting the DNA of Napoleon, King Tut, and Rasputin, but they do keep them from getting Sun Tzu’s. The new Cobra Emperor has determination, strength, and whatever Rasputin was supposed to provide, but he doesn’t have Sun Tzu’s patience. He still manages to briefly take over Washington, D.C., which indicates that Sgt. Slaughter was right about G.I. Joe needing to shape up.
G.I. Joe is being commanded by a pro wrestler, and Cobra has perfected human cloning? What the hell is going on? It’s a cartoon about soldiers and battles where no one ever gets injured or killed. I guess they can get away with the Cobra Emperor. I liked that, even though the Cobra Emperor was loud and determined, he didn’t know the basics, like how to keep from running out of fuel and weapons in the middle of a battle. It turns out Cobra Commander was more on top of things than anyone noticed.
Who joins Cobra anyway? There are always hundreds of them, even though they never win a battle. This episode features Zartan recruiting new members. Cobra must have a good dental plan.
