Hottie of the Day: Simone Simons


SIMONE SIMONS

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I’ve always wanted to profile a singer for latest “Hottie of the Day” but wasn’t willing to settle for the pop diva of the moment. Then it hit me. Metal is not all about angry frontmen. There’s some very fine ladies who front metal bands of all kinds. One of them is the latest “Hottie of the Day” in the form of the lovely Simone Simons.

Simone Simons is the frontwoman for the symphonic metal band Epica. This lovely redhead is a Dutch mezzo-soprano whose vocal range will surprise the uninitiated to the metal scene for being quite vast. She can sing circles around any of the pop divas doing shows during Super Bowl halftimes and whatnots. Some singers like to bale themselves with an alternate persona named Sasha Fierce, but they have nothing on the level of fierceness that Simone can bring to her performances on stage in addition to more subdued and emotional introspection.

Simone Simons is definitely a worthy and lovely addition.

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PAST HOTTIES

What Lisa and Evelyn Watched Last Night #68: California Dreams S3E17 “Tiffani’s Gold” (dir by Patrick Maloney)


On Wednesday night, my BFF Evelyn and I watched (via YouTube) an episode of the 90s sitcom California Dreams.  The name of this episode was Tiffani’s Gold and, needless to say, it’s a very special episode.

Why Were We Watching It?

As I wrote back in December, I was introduced to this show over Christmas by my sister Megan.  Ever since then, I’ll be regularly watching old episodes of California Dreams on YouTube.  I’ve seen the members of the Dreams deal with racism, eating disorders, gang violence, body issues, and environmental panic.  When I discovered that the episode Tiffani’s Gold dealt with drug abuse — well, how couldn’t I watch?

As for Evelyn, she insists that I make clear that the only reason she was watching it was because I insisted.

What Was It About?

Tiffani is stressed about making the national volleyball team so she starts taking steroids.  Tiffani makes the team but she also starts to snap at people, beat up her friends, and smash plates at the local hang-out.

Meanwhile, in a totally unrelated subplot, Mark, Sly, and Tony compete for the title of Mr. Stud and Jake continues to insist on wearing a heavy leather jacket to the beach.

What Worked?

As well-intentioned as it most certainly was, this episode had a definite Reefer Madness type of appeal to it.  California Dreams, much like my beloved Degrassi, presents us with a world where not only can the worst happen but the worst will end up happening within the next 10 minutes.  Seriously, how can you not be impressed by the fact that, after a week of taking steroids, Tiffani is literally picking Sly up and throwing him against a locker?

That said, I could relate to Tiffani’s anger in several scenes.  Seriously, sometimes, a girl just needs to be left alone!

Evelyn says the main thing that worked about this episode is that the California Dreams never actually performed.

What Did Not Work?

Evelyn and I totally disagreed with the results of the Mr. Stud contest.  Seriously, Mark looked good in that tuxedo and I didn’t believe Jake for a second when he claimed to have gotten choked up at the movies.  (Oh, and by the way, it’s okay for a guy to cry but he should never sob.  That’s the important thing.)

“OH MY GOD!  Just like me!” Moments

I have now been told, by five different people, that the character of Lorena reminds them of me and since two of these people were my sister and BFF, I’ll take their word for it.  Still, I have a hard time imagining that Lorena would ever have been a fan of Italian horror.

Lessons Learned

Well, duh!  Don’t do steroids!  Though, actually, it seems like the steroids accomplished their purpose.  I mean, Tiffani did make the national team and all.  In fact, it seems like Tiffani’s main problem is that people put too much pressure on her so I guess the real lesson here is that you shouldn’t put too much pressure on your friends when they’re using steroids.

Trailer: Fast and Furious 6 (Extended First Look)


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During this year’s Super Bowl XLVII one of the films whose trailers were premiered was the latest and upcoming entry to the Fast and the Furious series. Since that day a new and much more extended look and version of that trailer has been released by Universal Pictures for everyone to look over.

When I say extended first look I mean extended. This trailer is over 3 minutes long and pretty much acts like a major sizzle reel that’s usually reserved for special screenings at conventions or trade shows. I was mistaken from the earlier post when I said the film has an M-1 tank in it to ramp up the epicness. It looks more like the newest French main battle tank, the Leclerc. I shall keep my opinion about the French Leclerc to myself….

Now, enjoy the extended first look of Fast and Furious 6.

Guilty Pleasure No. 3: Every Rose Has Its Thorns


Time for a new guilty pleasure and this time around we hit the music scene with a song that everyone seems to make fun of but whcih they also secretly love to sing-a-long to.

“Every Rose Has Its Thorns” by the hair metal group Poison has to be the cheesiest of all power ballad that came out during the 80’s hair metal era. The group were so intent on making it stand out from the rest of their hair metal brethren’s own power ballads that they decided to go all acoustic guitar to start things to give it that extra deep thoughts-theme. I will admit that I listened to this song like it was going out of style when it first came out.

What can I say? I was a sophomore in high school and the hormones were kicking in hard.

For someone whose own love of metal ranges from thrash, speed, power, Viking to black it’s such a rose amongst the bramble that this hair metal power ballad will still get me to sing along to this day. Though I usually try to make sure I’m alone….XD

Every Rose Has Its Thorns

We both lie silently still
in the dead of the night
Although we both lie close together
We feel miles apart inside

Was it something I said or something I did
Did my words not come out right
Though I tried not to hurt you
Though I tried
But I guess that’s why they say

Chorus:
Every rose has its thorn
Just like every night has its dawn
Just like every cowboy sings his sad, sad song
Every rose has its thorn

Yeah it does

I listen to her favorite song
playing on the radio
Hear the DJ say loves a game of easy come and
easy go
But I wonder does he know
Has he ever felt like this
And I know that you’d be here right now
If I could have let you know somehow
I guess

Chorus

Though it’s been a while now
I can still feel so much pain
Like the knife that cuts you the wound heals
but the scar, that scar remains

Solo

I know I could have saved our love that night
If I’d known what to say
Instead of makin’ love
We both made our separate ways

But now I hear you found somebody new
and that I never meant that much to you
To hear that tears me up inside
And to see you cuts me like a knife
I guess

Chorus

Song of the Day: These Dreams (by Heart)


The latest “Song of the Day” comes courtesy of one of my favorite bands of the 80’s. It’s the sister rock duo Heart, Nancy and Ann Wilson, and their chart-topping power ballad from their self-titled album released in 1985. The song itself was released in 1986 and soon rose up the charts in both Billboard’s Mainstream, Rock, Pop and Adult Contemporary Charts. The song I speak of is “These Dreams”.

I was 13 when I first heard this song and saw the video make it’s rounds on MTV (yes, MTV used to show music videos, shocking isn’t it). I wasn’t sheltered muscially enough not to have been introduced to female rockers (Jett, Benatar, Slick being some of the ones I listened to courtesy of my Dad and older cousins), but with “These Dreams” I was finally introduced to the pioneers who gave young girls someone to look up to and dream of becoming rock stars as well. Heart, by the time I discovered them in 1986, were more in tune with that eras soft rock and adult contemporary sound. It was later on when I listened to their earlier albums that I finally heard them as hard rock musicians.

“These Dreams” was a favorite power ballad growing up and it rivals Led Zeppelin’s own fantasy-themed power ballad, “Stairway to Heaven”, as a power ballad I listen to constantly. It also had a music video that was so very 80’s MTV with both Wilson sisters sporting the overly teased, big hair that was glam/hair metal of the day. It didn’t matter since both then and now I still carry quite the crush and torch for Nancy Wilson. She, as Wayne and Garth would say, is a babe then and now.

Now, just sit back, relax and listen to one of my favorite songs of my youth.

These Dreams

Spare a little candle
Save some light for me
Figures up ahead
Moving in the trees
White skin in linen
Perfume on my wrist
And the full moon that hangs over
These dreams in the mist

These dreams go on when I close my eyes
Every second of the night I live another life
These dreams that sleep when it’s cold outside
Every moment I’m awake the further I’m away

Is it cloak n dagger
Could it be spring or fall
I walk without a cut
Through a stained glass wall
Weaker in my eyesight
The candle in my grip
And words that have no form
Are falling from my lips

These dreams go on when I close my eyes
Every second of the night I live another life
These dreams that sleep when it’s cold outside
Every moment I’m awake the further I’m away

There’s something out there
I can’t resist
I need to hide away from the pain
There’s something out there
I can’t resist

The sweetest song is silence
That I’ve ever heard
Funny how your feet
In dreams never touch the earth
In a wood full of princes
Freedom is a kiss
But the prince hides his face
From dreams in the mist

These dreams go on when I close my eyes
Every second of the night I live another life
These dreams that sleep when it’s cold outside
Every moment I’m awake the further I’m away

These dreams go on when I close my eyes
Every second of the night I live another life
These dreams that sleep when it’s cold outside
Every moment I’m awake the further I’m away

Trailer: Big Ass Spider


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How can you not be excited about a film called Big Ass Spider?  The film, from director Mike Mendez, will be playing at the South By Southwest Film Festival and, to judge from the trailer, it looks like it’s going to be a lot of fun.  You have to love any film that features Greg Grunberg saying, “This is a big ass spider.”

Lisa Reviews The Oscar Winners: Disraeli (dir by Alfred E. Green)


One reason that I love February is because it’s during this month that TCM broadcasts 31 Days of Oscar.  Over the course of this month, TCM is devoting itself to showing Oscar-nominated films.  While this means that they are showing a lot of my favorite films, it also means that they’re showing some obscure films that I might otherwise never have had a chance to see.

Disraeli is one of those previously obscure films.  Released in 1929, Disraeli was an early sound film that starred a distinguished stage actor named George Arliss. Recreating a role that he had previously played on stage and in a silent film, Arliss was the first British actor to ever win the Academy Award for Best Actor.  Disraeli itself picked up a nomination for best picture but lost to All Quiet On The Western Front.

Disraeli tells the story of British Prime Minister Benjamin Disraeli (played, in a likable if overly theatrical performance, by Arliss).  Disraeli was the first (and, to date, only) person of Jewish descent to serve as prime minister.  A favorite of Queen Victoria, Disraeli held the office of prime minister several times during the late 19th century and remains one of the most influential leaders in British history.

Reflecting the fact that it was initially made at a time when its title character was still a well-known historical figure, Disraeli spends next to no time explaining how Benjamin Disraeli reached the office of prime minister or why he believed the things that he believed.  Indeed, the film tells us remarkably little about just what exactly Disraeli, as leader, did believe in.  Instead, it takes for granted that the audience will know who Benjamin Disraeli was and why he was important.  The film, focuses on one aspect of Disraeli’s career — his efforts to purchase the Suez Canal and allow Victoria to add “Empress of India” to her list of titles.  Along the way, he finds the time to encourage a tepid romance between his aide (Anthony Bushnell) and the young Lady Clarissa (played by Joan Bennett, who — nearly 50 years later — would play the sinister Madam Blanc in Dario Argento”s Suspiria).  While this approach may have worked for audiences in 1929, modern viewers will probably wonder just what exactly everyone’s going on about.

If you didn’t know that Disraeli was based on a stage play, you would be able to guess it from watching the movie.  It’s not just that this is an extremely talky film.  It’s also a very stagey film, a reminder that the initial introduction of sound resulted in American cinema taking a step back artistically.  Whereas silent films were free to experiment both visually and narratively, a film like Disraeli had to be shot in order to accommodate the limitations of the early sound era.  As a result, the camera rarely moves and scenes are made up of static shots of groups of people standing close together and delivering lengthy passages of exposition.  While this may not have been an issue for audiences who were still amazed by the very existence of talking pictures, modern audiences will probably find the film to be pretty dull.

Disraeli is a difficult film to recommend for a modern audience but it is interesting to watch from a historical point of view.   As I watched Disraeli, I was reminded of a current Oscar contender.  Much like Lincoln, Disraeli attempts to humanize a famous politician and is structured around the lead performance of an acclaimed British thespian.  Much like Disraeli, Lincoln is a fictionalized account of how a powerful and controversial leader manipulated a reluctant government into making history.  That Lincoln deals with the struggle to end American slavery while Disraeli celebrates British imperialism says a lot about the difference between 1929 and 2013.

Trailer: Olympus Has Fallen


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I’ve always wondered why Gerard Butler hasn’t been tapped to be an action hero star since his turn as Leonidas in 300. He definitely has the looks and physicality to pull off such films and do so without being snarky about it. He has instead been stuck doing romantic comedies and the brooding anti-hero roles. This pattern may just change depending on how well his next film does.

Olympus Has Fallen is the next film from Antoine Fuqua (Training Day, King Arthur, Shooter) and looks like a new take on the Die Hard template of “one against many” that’s worked well with some films and turned out bad with others. This time around the film looks to be “Die Hard in the White House” type of story with Gerard Butler in the role of Bruce Willis. Though from some of the dialogue shown in the trailer it also sounds like a version of Under Siege (one of the better Die Hard clones)

The White House used as a setting for a siege has rarely been used (though the tv series 24 did it in it’s later seasons). The trailer show’s a bit of back story to Butler’s Secret Service character and what brings him back to the fold after a tragedy in his professional past puts him on ice.

Olympus Has Fallen is set for a March 22, 2013 release date.

6 Trailers From 2 Tired Trailer Kitties


The trailer kitties were still pretty tired from the Super Bowl (they got a little bit too hyper when all the lights went out in the stadium) but I still sent them out to gather six more trailers for this week’s edition of Lisa Marie’s Favorite Grindhouse and Exploitation Film Trailers.  Here’s what they returned with.

One quick note: As much as I love the trailer kitties, they occasionally bring me trailers for films that weren’t really grindhouse films.  However, the trailer for Pinocchio’s Birthday Party was just weird and creepy enough that I decided to include it anyway.

1) Pinocchio’s Birthday Party (1974)

2) Can I Do It … Til I Need Glasses (1979)

3) Karzan, Master of the Jungle (1972)

4) The Penthouse (1967)

5) Hog Wild (1980)

6) From Noon Til Three (1976)

What do you think, Trailer Kitties?

Trailer Kitty Bath

Lisa Marie’s 6 Favorite Super Bowl Commercials


Only one of these commercials made Lisa’s top six.

Yes, I did watch the Super Bowl this year.  I don’t really know much about football but my boyfriend’s from Baltimore so I cheered for Baltimore during tonight’s game and I made sure to wear my favorite purple bra and thong.  (Of course, I was  wearing more clothes than just those two items but apparently, the important thing was that I was wearing at least a little purple.)    However, I have to admit that I was mainly watching the game for the commercials!

Super Bowl commercials have become something of an American tradition, beyond the fact that most of them tend to be overproduced and kinda sucky.  But every year, after the game has been played, people spends weeks debating which commercial was the best.

With that in mind, here are my 6 favorite commercials of Super Bowl XLVII.

6) Samsung Mobile USA — The Next Big Thing

It goes on a little long but I still liked it.

5) E-Trade — Baby Gone Wild

I don’t care what anybody says, I like the E-Trade Baby.

4) Mercedes-Benz — Willem DaFoe is Satan.

It’s really not that much of a shock.

3) M&Ms — I Would Do Anything For Love

I love how upset the M&Ms get over the prospect of being eaten.  They’ve got a point, to be honest.

2) Budweiser — “Brotherhood”

This commercial made me cry.

1) Calvin Klein — “Concept”

You probably already knew this was going to be number one.  This commercial was the perfect antidote to years of creepy GoDaddy commercials.