Retro Television Review: The Love Boat 5.15 “I Don’t Play Anymore/Gopher’s Roommate/Crazy For You”


Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Wednesdays, I will be reviewing the original Love Boat, which aired on ABC from 1977 to 1986!  The series can be streamed on Paramount Plus!

This week, Gopher thinks that he recognizes a passenger!

Episode 5.15 “I Don’t Play Anymore/Gopher’s Roommate/Crazy For You”

(Dir by Bob Sweeney, originally aired on January 23rd, 1982)

When Rachel (Mackenzie Phillips) boards the ship, Gopher is sure that they’ve met before.  Rachel tells Gopher that he must be mistaken and, in fact, she goes out of her way to avoid him.  Since no one on this ship has ever stopped to consider that getting the cruise line sued would be bad for their career, Gopher continues to follow Rachel around.  Rachel finally tells Gopher the truth.

She does know him.

In fact, they were once quite close.

In college, Rachel was Gopher’s roommate and she played for the football team.  However, after graduating college, she had gender-affirmation surgery and now, she goes by the name of Rachel.  Gopher is stunned and I know what you’re probably thinking.  You’re probably looking at the 1982 air date and assuming that the whole storyline becomes consumed with gay panic as Gopher grapples with having been attracted to his former roommate.  (Doc also hits on her but then again, Doc hits on anyone.)  Well, believe it or not, The Love Boat handles this storyline with a surprising amount of sensitivity.  Yes, Gopher is stunned at first.  But he soon comes to respect and support Rachel’s decision, even if he doesn’t fully understand it.  Physically, the rather slight Mackenzie Phillips is not particularly believable as a former football player but still, both she and Fred Grandy gave good performance in the story.  This week was a case of The Love Boat really taking me by surprise.

Meanwhile, psychiatrist Lisa Lessing (Joanna Cassidy) boards the boat to observe David Jackson (Dick Shawn), an exec who is asking for worker’s compensation because he claims to be mentally ill.  Lisa (hey!) is on board to check on David’s sanity.  Lisa comes to believe that David is not faking but — surprise! — David actually is faking and now he feels bad because he and Lisa have fallen in love.  Lisa decides to pretend to be crazy too.  Uhmmm, okay.

Pianist Paul Krakauer (James MacArthur) has retired from playing because of the crippling arthritis in his hands.  When he meets Irene (Donna Pescow), a maid on the ship, he falls in love and decides to give one last performance so that he can make a quick $25,000 and give it to Irene so she can get an operation to fix her ankle.  Turns out that Doc has some ‘medicine” that allows Paul to play the piano but it takes several hours to take it effect so Paul misses a date that he previously set up with Irene.  Irene is ready to dump David until she finds out why he stood her up.

So, this episode had one surprisingly sensitive and two kind of bland storylines.  (The pianist storyline was ultimately saved by Donna Pescow’s performance as Irene.)  And I’ve got a massive headache and a cold.  Bleh.  That said, this was actually an above-average cruise, featuring some good performances on the part of the passengers and the cruise.  This week’s trip on The Love Boat was worth it.

Late Night Retro Television Review: Pacific Blue 1.4 “Over The Edge”


Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Tuesdays, I will be reviewing Pacific Blue, a cop show that aired from 1996 to 2000 on the USA Network!  It’s currently streaming everywhere, though I’m watching it on Tubi.

There’s been a murder but don’t worry.  The bike patrol is here.

Episode 1.4 “Over the Edge”

(Dir by Cory Michael Eubanks, originally aired on March 23rd, 1996)

“I need some personal time!” TC announces to Lt. Palermo after TC’s childhood friend, Todd (Dave Oliver), washes up dead on the beach.  It turns out that Todd was killed in a skydiving incident and TC doesn’t think it was an accident.  Todd jumped out of 700 planes without dying so obviously something is up.

(Really?  700?  Did he just spend a year jumping out of plane after plane?  700 is a HUGE number, especially when it comes to risking your life.)

TC’s partner, Chris, is shocked to discover that TC had a friend because apparently, he never mentioned Todd in the past.  Well, Chris, this is only the fourth episode so it’s not like you two have been partners for that long.  This is a weird episode because it assume that the audience has an emotional investment in TC despite the fact that we know next to nothing about him.  We know that TC rides a bicycle.  We know that he comes from a rich family.  And we know he hardly ever smiles because being on the bicycle patrol is suuuuuuuuch an important responsibility.  Otherwise, TC is just kind of a boring guy.  I’m sorry his friend died because I’m sorry when anyone dies but other than that, I don’t really have any emotional connection to any of this.

Anyway, it turns out that Todd fell in with a bunch of Australian extreme athlete types and they shoved him out of an airplane without a properly working parachute.  I’m sure there was a reason why but, for the most part, this episode is just an excuse for TC to look grim while doing the whole extreme sports thing.  I remember that, when I was growing up, you’d always hear all this breathless talk about how someone was doing “extreme sports” but then it would just turn out they were riding a unicycle or rolling down a hill.  Remember bike jousting, where people would joust while slowly riding bicycles and it looked totally stupid but everyone would still go, “Whoa!” while watching?  That was dumb.

Speaking of dumb, I’m still having a hard time taking the idea of cops on bicycles seriously.  Did the people who made this show not realize how stupid the cast looks rolling up and down the boardwalk in their crisp white shirts and blue shorts?  Seriously, it’s hard to take them seriously.  Baywatch was a dumb show but at least those red swimsuits were visually effective.  The bicycle cops on Pacific Blue just look like idiots, no matter how fast they try to peddle.

This show just seems silly right now.  I’ve got over a 100 episodes left to review so I hope things will get better.

Retro Television Review: Fantasy Island 6.3 “The Perfect Gentleman/Legend”


Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Tuesdays, I will be reviewing the original Fantasy Island, which ran on ABC from 1977 to 1984.  Unfortunately, the show has been removed from most streaming sites.  Fortunately, I’ve got nearly every episode on my DVR.

Smiles, everyone!

Episode 6.3 “The Perfect Gentleman/Legend”

(Dir by Philip Leacock, originally aired on October 30th, 1982)

Jimmy Jordan (Paul Williams, who appeared on a lot of these type of shows) is a rock star who witnessed a mob hit at one of his concerts.  Jimmy did what anyone would do.  He called the police.  They offered to protect him if he testified but then they told him that they probably wouldn’t be able to continue to protect him afterwards.  (Uhmm …. hello?  Witness Protection Program?)  Jimmy decided to fake his own death and then go to Fantasy Island.  His fantasy?  To not get caught by the two mobsters who have been sent to make sure that he’s actually dead.

Uhmmm …. that’s weird.  Like all of that was going on Jimmy just decided to go to Fantasy Island?  And then he shows up on Fantasy Island wearing a trenchcoat over his rock star jump suit?  Weird.

Fortunately, Michelle (Leslie Easterbrook) is on the island and her fantasy is apparently to have a new butler!  Soon, Jimmy is calling himself Godfrey and helping Michelle and her family save their business while Tracer (John Davis Chandler) and Killer (Joseph Ruskin) search for him.  Needless to say, Jimmy and Michelle fall in love and leave the island together and, unless I missed something, it appears that Jimmy is planning on just being Godfrey for the rest of his life.  He even drives Michelle and her daughter to the docks so that they can all fly off to the mainland.  I guess the world is going to go on believing that Jimmy’s dead and….

This fantasy raised way too many unanswered questions and Paul Williams was convincing neither as a rock star or a butler.  This is a fantasy that called out for someone like …. oh, I don’t know.  Sonny Bono, maybe.

The other fantasy was a bit of an improvement, just because it featured the unlikely but surprisingly likable pairing of Michelle Phillips and Andy Griffith.  Phillips plays Andrea Barclay, who has a beautiful singing voice but who suffers from crippling stage fright.  Her fantasy is to successfully perform in front of the toughest crowd ever.

Really?  Roarke says, The toughest crowd?

By now, guests should realize that whenever Roarke says something like that, it means your fantasy is going to be interpreted in a bizarre way that you never expected.  Considering that, the last time that Michelle Phillips was on the show, her fantasy to be the most famous woman in the world somehow led to her becoming Lady Godiva, Andrea really should have known better.  Instead, Andrea is shocked when she finds herself in the Old West, where Judge Roy Bean (Andy Griffith) has promised the citizens of Langtry, Texas that his favorite actress and singer, Lillie Langtry (Madlyn Rhue), will be performing for them.  When Lillie leaves without singing, it’s time for Andrea to put on a mask and pretend to be Lillie as she performs in Judge Bean’s saloon.  Yeah, it’s a silly fantasy but Andy Griffith and Michelle Phillips both put their heart into their performances.  Andy Griffith does his folksy-but-intelligent routine while Michelle Phillips especially deserves a lot of credit for taking things seriously.

This episode had the same problem as last week’s.  Everything felt very familiar.  Last week, we had what seemed like the show’s hundredth boxing and dancing fantasy.  This week, we have what feels like the hundredth singing fantasy.  After five seasons, it’s obvious that the show’s writers had started to run out of ideas.

Next week …. Roddy McDowall returns to Fantasy Island!  Yay!

 

Late Night Retro Television Review: CHiPs 3.6 “Counterfeit”


Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Mondays, I will be reviewing CHiPs, which ran on NBC from 1977 to 1983.  The entire show is currently streaming on Prime!

Tonight’s episode is weird.

Episode 3.6 “Counterfeit”

(Dir by John Florea, originally aired on October 20th, 1979)

Ponch is shocked to discover that he’s carrying several counterfeit twenties.  He turns the money into the Treasure Department, hoping that it will mean receiving an monetary award.  Instead, he’s told that his reward is helping the government crack down  on the bad guys.  Ha!  Take that, Ponch!

That said, you better believe that Ponch is there to help arrest the counterfeiters, who turn out to be a bunch of phony preachers working out of a church.  I know that sounds like the sort of thing that could be interesting.  But, for the most part, these guys are still just generic CHiPs bad guys, even if one of them is played by veteran screen tough guy Ralph Meeker.

Meanwhile, Ponch goes on a date with a woman and is upset when it appears that she’s shallow and doesn’t want to talk about anything that is the least bit intellectual.  That’s our, Ponch!  He’s never shallow!  Fortunately, it turns out that his date isn’t shallow either.  She was just pretending to be shallow to test whether or not Ponch was shallow.  And now, it’s time to dance!  Wait, what?  That doesn’t make any sense.  Ponch — when are you going to settle down?  Disco isn’t going to last forever.

While that’s going on, architect James O’Hara (played by veteran dwarf actor Billy Barty) becomes frustrated with people assuming that he can’t drive because of his size.  He gets tired of all the dumb jokes and the condescending remarks.  As a result, he keeps getting into minor accident whenever he drives on the highway.  This was a strange storyline, largely because O’Hara’s scenes made up over half the episode despite the fact that he had never appeared on the show before and he barely interacted with the members of the Highway Patrol.  A part of me wonders if maybe this episode was meant to be a backdoor pilot for a series about James O’Hara.  The other weird thing about this episode is that O’Hara’s frustration over people making fun of his height was often played for laughs.  The whole thing just felt well-intentioned but oddly tone deaf.

If you’re keeping track, this episode had two Ponch storylines and a storyline about a guy we had never seen before.  Sorry, Baker!  If we had any doubts about who was the favored partner as far as this show goes, this episode erased them.

This whole episode just felt weird.  On the plus side, there was a lot of nice California scenery and there were quite a few accidents, which is the main reason why most people would have been watching the show in the first place.  But this episode really is an example of how a show can get bogged down with a character that we’ve never seen before and that we’ll probably never see again.  The episode just never comes together.

Retro Television Review: Miami Vice 3.15 “Duty and Honor”


Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Mondays, I will be reviewing Miami Vice, which ran on NBC from 1984 to 1989.  The entire show can be purchased on Prime!

This week, another figure from Castillo’s past comes to Miami.

Episode 3.15 “Duty And Honor”

(Dir by John Nicollela, originally aired on February 6th, 1987)

There is apparently some controversy over what this episode should be called.  When it originally aired in 1987, it was called The Savage, after the serial killer who is pursued by Castillo.  When the episode later turned up in syndication, the title was changed to Duty and Honor, a reflection of the fact that the episode links back to Castillo’s (and, to a lesser extent, Crockett’s) service in Vietnam.  Since the imdb has chosen to go with Duty and Honor, I’ve decided to do the same.

The episode opens in Saigon, in the early 70s.  A clean-shaved Castillo (with a pony tail!) investigates the ritualistic murder of a prostitute.  It’s one of several murders that have occurred over the past few days, with all of the victims being sex workers.  Jump forward to Miami in the 80s and prostitutes are now once again being murdered.  Castillo recognizes the M.O. and soon, Crockett and Tubbs are investigating the local VA.  The doctor (Gary Basaraba) refuses to compromise the confidentiality of what his patients have told him but he does allow Crockett and Tubbs to speak to some of them.  One of the patients talks about a mysterious man who was known as The Savage, who was used as an assassin by the CIA.  The Savage was obsessed with killing and hated women because one violent encounter led to him getting castrated.

Tranh (Haing S. Ngor), who investigated the Saigon murders with Castillo, comes to Miami and shows Castillo that, whenever an enemy or critic of the United States has been assassinated overseas, it’s always coincided with a serial killer targeting prostitutes.  Tranh believes The Savage has come to Miami to assassinate a South American activist who is in town to give a speech.  Tranh and Castillo’s investigation leads them to the Savage’s CIA handler, Jack Colman (Brad Sullivan).  Colman makes clear that he really doesn’t care what The Savage does on his own time.

And yes, The Savage (played by Michael Wright), is indeed in Miami and he is killing prostitutes.  As played by Wright, The Savage is one of the most frightening villains to show up on Miami Vice.  He’s a relentless and sadistic killer who has no control over his impulses.  The CIA turned him into a weapon of war and now that the war is over, he no longer has a place in the real world.  Instead, he’s a nightmare creature who exists to execute anyone who Colman considers to be a threat.

(Around the same time this episode aired, Michael Wright also played the high school gang lord in The Principal.)

Up until the final twist, this episode is Miami Vice at its best — dark, moody, thought-provoking, and morally ambiguous.  After spending most of the season staring at the floor, Edward James Olmos finally gets to be the center of the action.  Unfortunately, the film ends with Tranh revealing that he was actually a spy for North Vietnam and that he’s now a colonel in the Vietnamese army.  He leaves Castillo a note, saying that he hopes they can still be friends and promote the type of peaceful world where nations will not create men like The Savage.  And while I agree that the CIA should not be breeding assassins, I still have to say, what’s up with all the pro-commie crap this season, Miami Vice?

Anyway, other than that, this was a good episode.  I should mention that Helena Bonham Carter briefly appears as Sonny’s new girlfriend.  Apparently, she’ll be the center of next week’s episode.

Late Night Retro Television Review: Degrassi High 1.9 & 1.10 “Sixteen”


Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Sunday, I will be reviewing the Canadian series, Degrassi High, which aired on CBC and PBS from 1989 to 1991!  The series can be streamed on YouTube!

This week, we have a special one-hour episode of Degrassi High!

Episode 1.9 and 1.10 “Sixteen”

(Dir by Kit Hood, originally aired on January 9th, 1990)

Everyone’s turning sixteen at Degrassi High and they’re all dealing with in their own different ways.

Snake and Joey, for instance, are old enough now to take Driver’s Education.  Snake is nervous. Joey says that he’s been driving since he was twelve.  Both of them end up failing their driving test.  Don’t feel bad, guys!  It took me a few tries too!  Snake actually turns out to be an even worse driver than Joey and even takes out a cardboard family at one point.  Thanks to Joey and Snake’s bad driving, their poor driving instructor ends up with two black eyes and wearing a neck brace.  Nancy (Arlene Lott) finally get her first storyline in forever as she easily shows up Joey and Snake and gets her license on the first try.

(When I was learning how to drive, the instructor claimed that I had a lazy eye and yelled at me so much that I went home in tears.  My mom went to the driving school and raised Hell.  I never had to drive with that instructor again.)

Michelle, meanwhile, celebrates her birthday by moving out of her house.  Apparently, in Toronto, you only have to be sixteen to leave your parents and live on your own.  Michelle moves out because her racist father (Richard Krovsky) is upset with her for dating BLT.  Michelle gets her own apartment but she also has to take a job to pay the rent and she soon finds herself exhausted and sleeping through school.  Concerned with his physical and academic well-being, BLT sets aside his differences with Michelle’s father and tells him where to find her.  Michelle and her dad have a conversation.  Michelle is going to continue to live on her own but her father is going to help with the rent.  So …. okay.  I mean, Michelle left him because she didn’t want to live under her father’s rules and that was understandable because Michelle’s father really is a jerk.  But now that she’s on her own, Michelle’s father is going to pay her rent.  So, presumably, Michelle is once again in a position where her Dad can make the rules.  What if he tells her that he won’t pay her rent if she keeps seeing BLT?

While that’s going on, Lucy shoots a video for LD’s 16th birthday.  LD is still in the hospital, battling Leukemia.  LD doesn’t want anyone to know that she’s sick or that she’s lost all of her hair.  Still, Lucy does tell the Farrell twins about what’s going on.  Anyway, there’s a sweet scene in which Lucy, the twins, and Alexa visit LD in the hospital and bring her a birthday cake.  It was a nice scene and well-acted by Anais Granofsky (who plays Lucy) and Amanda Cook (who plays LD).  This episode was LD’s final appearance on Degrassi High which …. well, that’s kind of ominous, isn’t it?

Finally, Alexa can only watch helplessly as everyone announces that they will be missing her sweet sixteen birthday party.  Even her boyfriend, Simon, is going to be busy filming a commercial on Alexa’s birthday.  “Fine!” Alexa shouts, after cancelling her part, “I’ll be fifteen forever!”  In fact, the cake that Alexa brings to the hospital for LD was actually supposed to be for Alexa’s party.  “I’ll just have my mother bake another,” Alexa says.  Good for you, Alexa!

This was a bit of an uneven episode.  I actually preferred the driving class scenes to all of the birthday drama.  Of course, as a longtime Degrassi fan, I know that Joey is going to grow up to be a used car salesman.  Watching him struggle to drive made me smile.

Next week: Caitlin discovers that Claude is no good!  It’s about time!

Retro Television Review: Homicide: Life On The Street 3.1 “Nearer My God To Thee”


Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Sundays, I will be reviewing Homicide: Life On The Street, which aired from 1993 to 1999, on NBC!  It  can be viewed on Peacock.

This week, we begin the third season!

Episode 3.1 “Nearer My God To Thee”

(Dir by Tim Hunter, originally aired on October 14th, 1994)

The third season of Homicide opens with a disgusted Stan Bolander watching a relatively tame soap opera in the breakroom.  He’s offended by the fact that two of the show’s characters are shown in bed.  To Bolander, that’s the equivalent of pornography on network television.  Lewis points out that television execs force showrunners to add sex in order to bring in ratings.  Munch mentions that it’s strange that television is allowed to show sex but not nudity.  Munch then goes on to predict that there will soon be hundreds of channels, a channel for every interest.  There will be channels about animals and religion and politics and soon, anything you want to see will be at your finger tips and it will lead to people becoming dull and lazy.  John Munch, super prophet!

Hmmm …. do you think maybe Tom Fontana, who wrote this script and was one of Homicide’s executive producers, was maybe venting some of his own frustration over the demands that NBC was making in return for giving a third season to the critically acclaimed but low-rated Homicide?  Because the third season premiere of Homicide is a bit different from the previous two seasons.  For one thing, Jon Polito is no longer in the cast.  (Lewis mentions that Crosetti is on vacation in Atlantic City.)  Isabelle Hofman, who is certainly more attractive than anyone who has previously appeared on the show, has joined the cast as Lt. Megan Russert, the second shift commander.  And this episode features its share of nudity and sex.

At the same time, it’s still an excellent episode of Homicide.  Isabelle Hofman gives a tough and no-nonsense performance as Russert and, by the end of the episode, she seems as if she belongs in the ensemble as much as her less glamorous castmates.  And this episode has its share of sex and nudity but it’s all essential to the plot.  This episode lets us know that, for now, Homicide is a show that can adjust without losing its integrity.

The episode’s case is a red ball (which is a term used to indicate it’s a case that’s going to get media attention).  Katharine Goodrich, the 30 year-old founder of a shelter for battered women, has been found dead in a dumpster, nude except for a pair of long white cotton gloves, the type of gloves that you might expect to see at a royal procession but not at a crime scene.  Russert’s shift has picked up the case and, to everyone’s horror, the incompetent and racist Roger Gaffney (Walt MacPherson) is the primary detective.  The brass ask Giardello to keep an eye on Russert because they feel she’s too inexperienced to handle the investigation.  Giardello (and let’s take a moment to acknowledge just how wonderful Yaphet Kotto was in this role) calls in his own detectives to help out the second shift.  As you might have guessed, the two shifts do not have much respect for each other.  It’s chaos, especially when Gaffney and Pembleton nearly come to blows over Gaffney’s racism,  Russert defuses the situation and the scene, to be honest, is a bit overwritten.  From the first minute she appeared in the episode, Hofman has been credible as a detective and a lieutenant so writing one heavy-handed scene just so she can further prove herself feels almost an insult to the strength of her performance.  Hofman (and Russert) has already proven herself without having to dare Pembleton to shoot Gaffney and throw his life away.

That said, this was a strong episode.  Goodrich was a devout Catholic and Pembleton and Bayliss discuss their own views on religion.  Bayliss has tried out all the Protestant denominations (even the — *snort* — Unitarians) and is a bit of a cynic.  Pembleton was educated by Jesuits and says at one point that, “There are two types of Catholics.  Devout and fallen.  I fell.”  It’s a scene that could have been awkward but Andre Braugher and Kyle Secor pull it off wonderfully.  Secor, especially, has really come into his own.  Bayliss is no longer the awkward and earnest rookie from the first season.  In fact, Bayliss has so come into his own that he agrees to invest in a bar with Lewis and Munch.  They’re burying the Waterfront!

(Before Bayliss offers to invest, there’s a humorous scene where Much and Lewis try to convince Bolander to not only invest but to also be the bar’s mascot.  “A big man deserves a big meal,” Munch says.  Bolander — who I’m happy to say is far less whiny in this episode than he was during the previous two seasons — is not interested.  It’s kind of funny how Munch basically hero worships a guy who really seems like he wants nothing to do with him outside of work.)

Kay spends the episode taking calls from Felton’s wife, Beth (Mary B. Ward).  Beth recently kicked Felton out of the house because she thought Felton was cheating on her.  Felton admits to Kay that he is cheating on her.  When Kay isn’t running interference for her partner, she’s defending Russert when the other detectives insinuate that Russert must be slept her way to the top.  Kay lists all of Russert’s qualifications and commendations.  Yay, Kay!  You tell them!  Later, Russert sees Kay looking exhausted and snaps at her to get to work.  “Bitch,” Kay mutters.  Ouch!  Still, I laughed.

Felton breaks into his house to retrieve a suit, just to be confronted by Beth.  An obviously unstable Beth proceeds to take a pair of scissors to Felton’s jacket before then stripping down to her underwear, getting in bed, and asking Felton to leave so she can get some sleep.  (I’m going to guess that rather disturbing and deliberately anti-erotic scene was Fontana’s subversive answer to the NBC execs who asked him to sex up the show a little.)  Later, Russert finally goes home to get some rest and check in on her daughter.  Felton shows up at her front door and, after he tells her the one of his leads on the Goodrich murder went dry, she responds by passionately kissing him.  Now, we know where Felton has been going whenever Beth kicks him out.

As for the Goodrich murder, it turns out that, despite what everyone assumed, she was not raped.  After a nun tells Pembleton and Bayliss that Katherine never wore gloves, Pembleton deduces the gloves were put on her body after she was killed.  Gaffney insists that Katherine’s murderer was probably the boyfriend of one of the women at the shelter but Pembleton disagrees.  (This leads to the fight that I mentioned earlier.)  While Russert wants to keep the gloves out of the news, a smarmy reporter (Tony Todd) threatens to reveal their existence unless she agrees to come to him first with any developments.  As the episode ends, Pembleton and Bayliss are canvassing the crime scene and it’s hard not to notice that they are now the ones wearing white gloves, rubber in this case.  Bayliss says its pointless to keep canvassing the crime scene.  But then he and Pembleton spot a storage shed with a busted lock.  As they open the door, the end credits begin.

To be continued!

What a great way start to season 3.  Yes, I realize that this case is pretty much the exact opposite of the gritty, pointless murders that the first two seasons focused on but still, I am now very much wondering who killed Katherine Goodrich and why they put the gloves on her hands.  I hope this won’t be another unsolvable Adena Watson case.  Fortunately, I have total faith in Frank Pembleton.

I can’t wait to see what happens next week!

 

Late Night Retro Television Review: Check It Out! 3.5 “Not For Commercial Use”


Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Saturdays, I will be reviewing the Canadian sitcom, Check it Out, which ran in syndication from 1985 to 1988.  The entire show is currently streaming on Tubi!

This week, the news comes to Cobb’s!

Episode 3.5 “Not For Commercial Use”

(Dir by Alan Erlich, originally aired on October 18th, 1987)

The local news station is coming down to Cobb’s to do a story on how things have changed at the store now that the company is under new management.

Really?

Is it just a super slow news day or something?  The insinuation is that it’s actually going to be a 30-minute news special, all about an obscure grocery store in the suburbs of Ontario.  (In this episode, Check It Out! finally admits that the show is taking place in Canada.)  I mean, even if it is a slow news day, I just can’t imagine that a thirty-minute story about Cobb’s would be a huge ratings grabber.

Howard is excited about the idea of being on television.  He calls his Aunt Lil and promises to tug on his ear so that she’ll know that he’s thinking of her.  Howard imagines himself as a TV star.  There’s Howard hosting a talk show!  There’s Howard as a tough detective.  It’s all kind of silly but, in its way, kind of cute.  Howard is a lot more likable this season than he was during the previous two seasons.  And Don Adams, who can sometimes seem a bit indifferent when it comes to playing Howard, actually gave a lively performance in this episode.

TC Collingwood (Elizabeth Hanna), who I guess is supposed to be the liaison between the store and the corporate offices, does not want Howard to appear on TV.  She feels that Howard is a bit too …. I guess “dorky” would be the right term to use here.  She thinks that Howard is going to embarrass the store with his bad jokes and his Bogart impersonation.  TC would rather focus on employees like Leslie, who now wears a chef’s hat and who has apparently transferred from working as a cashier to working in the deli.

(One thing that I’ve noticed is that, during season 3, the show finally hired enough extras to make the store seem like a real place.  There are now employees and shoppers all over the place.  Marlene is no longer the only cashier and Leslie appears to have a good crew working with him at the deli)

As for Howard, he does manage to get on television.  He simply cannot be stopped!  He wanders in front of the camera.  He tells bad jokes.  He does even worse impersonations.  TC ends up locking him in a meat locker but it turns out that the CEO of the company really enjoyed Howard and his antics.  Good for Howard, I guess.

This episode continued this season’s pattern of being far better than the two that came before it.  For once, every member of the cast was allowed a chance to shine.  This episode was worth watching for Viker’s attempt to tell a knock knock joke alone.  Check It Out! was a deeply silly show but at least in the third season it’s finally got consistently funny.

Lisa Marie’s Week In Television: 1/19/25 — 1/25/25


Here are just a few (admittedly, very few) thoughts on what I watched this week!

Abbott Elementary (Wednesday Night, ABC)

Unlike the characters in Abbott Elementary, I’m not a fan of the American Labor Movement but I still enjoyed this week’s episode about a bus strike.  The remote learning stuff was definitely the highlight of the episodes.

Dark (Netflix)

Case and I are continuing to watch this German show on Netflix.  It’s a very intriguing saga of time travel and murder.

Hell’s Kitchen (Thursday Night, Fox)

Without Brandon in the competition, who cares?  It seems kind of obvious that Egypt’s going to win.

Kitchen Nightmares (Tuesday Night, Fox)

Chef Ramsay saved another restaurant in New Orleans.  That’s good and all but I still wouldn’t want to eat anywhere that’s been featured on Kitchen Nightmares.  Once a mess, always a mess.  At least, that’s the way that I view things as far as food preparation is concerned.

The Oscar Nominations (Thursday Morning, Hulu)

The nominations didn’t do much for me this year.  Honestly, I have to wonder how long it’s going to be until ABC dumps the Oscars and the ceremony is reduced to just streaming on Hulu.  It’s going to happen sooner or later.

The Presidential Inauguration (Monday, C-Span)

I’m thankful for C-Span.  I was able to watch the whole thing without any commentary for either side.

I also watched and reviewed:

  1. Check It Out
  2. CHiPs
  3. Fantasy Island
  4. Friday the 13th: The Series
  5. Highway to Heaven
  6. The Love Boat
  7. Malibu CA
  8. Miami Vice
  9. Monsters
  10. Pacific Blue
  11. St. Elsewhere
  12. Welcome Back Kotter

Retro Television Review: Welcome Back Kotter 4.15 “Barbarino’s Baby”


Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Saturdays, I will be reviewing Welcome Back Kotter, which ran on ABC  from 1975 to 1979.  The entire show can be purchased on Prime.

This week, a longtime Sweathog makes his final appearance.

Episode 4.15 “Barbarino’s Baby”

(Dir by Norman Abbott, originally aired on February 3rd, 1979)

This episode was John Travolta’s final appearance as Vinnie Barbarino.  That means no more visits to his ugly apartment, no more confusion as to whether or not Barbarino is actually still enrolled in high school, and no more of John Travolta trying his best to give a good performance while the rest of the cast sleep walk through their roles.  Seriously, you have to admire that Travolta was still trying to give a good performance even under the weird circumstances of the fourth season.  The studio audience was going to cheer no matter what Travolta did.  Travolta could have just shrugged off the entire show and character.  I’m sure the temptation to do so was there.  Instead, he did his best.

His final episode really isn’t worth the effort, though,  Barbarino wants to get promoted from scrubbing the floors of the hospital to working in the emergency room.  The head nurse says that there’s no way someone as dumb as Barbarino could be trusted in the ER.  Barbarino asks Mr. Woodman to write a letter.  Julie takes it upon herself to call the hospital and put in a good word for him.  As for Gabe …. he’s not in this episode.  Gabe does nothing!

Maybe Barbarino would get promoted if his idiot friends weren’t always hanging out at the hospital.  Seriously, does that group have nothing better to do than hang out in the world’s ugliest medical facility?  Couldn’t they go hang out on Christopher Street with Horshack or something?  Remember when the Sweathogs were an actual gang who committed crimes?  Epstein was once voted most likely to kill someone.  Freddie used to get accused of stealing every other week.  Beau showed up and they all got wimpy.

Anyway, Barbarino and the Sweathogs get on an elevator with a pregnant woman.  The elevator  stops between floors.  The woman goes into labor.  Time for Barbarino and the Sweathogs to deliver a baby …. *sigh*.  Seriously, there is nothing more stress-inducing than the idea of a bunch of 30 year-old high school students delivering a baby.  The important thing is that the head nurse is able to talk Barbarino through the delivery and Barbarino gets his promotion!  Barbarino is going to the ER!  That’s good news for Horshack because there’s no way he’s not going to end up getting his stomach pumped in the ER eventually.

And that’s John Travolta’s final episode of Welcome Back, Kotter.  It’s a bit of a let down, considering how important the character of Vinnie Barbarino was to the success of the show.  Imagine if The Office finale only allowed Michael Scott to appear for two minutes and only gave him one line of dialogue?  THAT WOULD BE INSANE!

I can only wonder what the rest of this show is going to be like without Kotter and Barbarino.  My fear is that it’s going to involve a lot of Horshack,  We’ll find out.  There’s only a few episodes left!