Retro Television Review: Miami Vice 5.6 “Line of Fire”

Posted on November 17, 2025 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Mondays, I will be reviewing Miami Vice, which ran on NBC from 1984 to 1989. The entire show can be purchased on Prime!

This week, Crockett and Tubbs are assigned to protect a witness.

Episode 5.6 “Line Of Fire”

(Dir by Richard Compton, originally aired on December 16th, 1988)

Carlos Cantero (Aharon Ipalé) is on trial for murdering Ian Sims, one of Crockett’s confidential informants. Crockett is the number one witness against him, which is a problem because Crockett just spent the last few months under the impression that he was Sonny Burnett, one of Miami’s biggest drug dealers. Cantero’s defense attorney dismantles Crockett’s testimony by pointing out that Crockett had a “psychotic breakdown.”

(And you know what? The attorney is actually very correct about that. Crockett acts shocked when his mental health history is brought up but why wouldn’t it be?)

Luckily, there is an eyewitness to the murder of Ian Sims. The FBI asks Crockett and Tubbs to keep an eye on Keith (Justin Lazard), a heavy metal fan who is willing to testify against Cantero.

I have to admit that I nearly gave up on this episode because my first impression of Keith was that he was the most annoying character to ever appear on a television show. However, I’m glad that I didn’t because this episode actually introduced a very clever twist. Keith is not actually Keith. Instead, he’s DEA agent Joey Hardin, who has been assigned to pretend to be Keith to keep Cantero from going after the real Keith. It turns out that FBI Agent Bates (Kevyn Major Howard, the “Do you believe in Jesus?” guy from Death Wish II) is crooked and he’s giving information to Cantero.

Unfortunately, Crockett doesn’t find out the truth until Joey has already been shot multiple times by Bates. (Tubbs and Crockett proceed to gun down Bates.) Joey nearly dies while the prosecutor chortles about how all of this is actually going to help him get a conviction. It turns out that the prosecutor doesn’t know what he’s talking about. The real Keith is now too terrified to testify against Cantero, leading to Cantero going free. Joey does recover from being shot but, at the end of this episode, it’s hard not to feel that it was all for nothing.

This is one cynical episode! But that’s okay. Miami Vice was always at its best when it was being cynical and this episode is a throwback to old school Vice, back when the emphasis was on how no one could trust anyone and the government was often its own worst enemy. Miami Vice was definitely a left-wing show but occasionally, it did reveal a libertarian streak. That was certainly the case with this episode, in which the war on drugs is portrayed as being unwinnable because the government is naturally incompetent. Young idealists like Joey Hardin are sent off to battle and are ultimately abandoned once they’re no longer needed.

This was a good episode. I’m still having a hard time buying that Crockett could just go back to being a cop after being Miami’s top drug lord but whatever. It’s the final season. I’ll suspend my disbelief a little.

Retro Television Review: Baywatch: Panic At Malibu Pier

Posted on October 4, 2025 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Saturdays, I will be reviewing Baywatch, which ran on NBC and then in syndication from 1989 to 2001. The entire show can be purchased on Tubi.

Today, I start a new series of reviews. Since I already did Baywatch Nights, it just made sense to go ahead and do Baywatch. All together, this show ran for 11 and a movie so it should only take 241 weeks to finish up the series….

“Baywatch: Panic At Malibu Pier”

(Dir by Richard Compton, originally aired on April 29th, 1989)

It’s not easy being a lifeguard.

That would seem to be the main theme running through Panic at Malibu Pier, the two-hour movie that also served as a pilot for Baywatch. Consider the drama:

Mitch Buchanan (David Hasselhoff) loves the beach and he loves getting in the water but it’s cost him his marriage and now, his ex-wife (Wendie Malick) is suing for sole custody of their young son, Hobie (Brandon Call). Hobie doesn’t like going to school. He doesn’t understand why he can’t just spend all day on the beach like his father. Mitch, meanwhile, has been promoted to lieutenant of Baywatch and he’s now no longer supposed to do rescues. He’s just supposed to supervise the other lifeguard. His boss, Captain Thorpe (Monte Markham), is very insistent on that. Mitch explains that he doesn’t even like wearing socks. Ewwww. You have to wear socks, Mitch!

Eddie Kramer (Billy Warlock) is a rookie lifeguard. He finished at the top of his class but he’s also a tough kid from Philadelphia who grew up in the foster system. Shauni (Erika Eleniak) is another rookie lifeguard who freezes up when she has to provide CPR to a drowned girl. Her mentor, Jill (Shawn Weatherly), tells Shauni that it happens to every lifeguard. I bet it’s never happened to Mitch. Shauni seems to have a crush on Eddie and Eddie seems to be driven to prove himself. Eddie has guts because he wears a Philadelphia t-shirt in California.

Al Gibson (Richard Jaeckel) is the veteran lifeguard who is reaching retirement age and who dies at the end of the episode and gets a big lifeguard funeral on the beach.

Trevor (Peter Phelps) is the Australian lifeguard who calls everyone “mate.”

Finally, Craig Pomeroy (Parker Stevenson) is the attorney who prefers to spend his time in his lifeguard tower. Even when he should be at the office and working for his clients, Craig just hangs out at his tower. He saves the life of a disturbed teenager named Laurie (Madchen Amick). Laurie subsequently becomes obsessed with him. When the married Craig tells her to stay out of his lifeguard tower and stop taking off all of her clothes, she accuses Craig of assaulting her. Later, she tries to murder Craig’s wife (Gina Hecht). This all could have been avoided if Craig had just gone to his office like he was supposed to.

This pilot film for Baywatch has everything that the show would make famous — stiff line deliveries from the supporting cast, red swimsuits, David Hasselhoff’s earnestly goofy sincerity, slow motion, and plenty of musical montages. Amongst the guest cast, Madchen Amick stands out at the obsessive Laurie, showing an ability for handling melodrama that would be put to good use on Twin Peaks. Take a drink every time Mitch says, “Rescue can,” and see how long you can go before passing out. Unlike a lot of pilots that don’t really resemble the eventual show, Panic at Malibu Pier is unmistakably Baywatch.

And, watching it, you can see why the show eventually became a success. The beach scenery is nice. The men are athletic, the women are pretty, and the slow motion is cool the first time you see it. Of course, the most important thing about the pilot — and the show itself — is that it doesn’t require a good deal of attention. It’s one of those things where you can step away from the screen for a few minutes and then come back without having worry about having missed anything important.

Panic at Malibu Pier was a ratings hit. Baywatch followed. We’ll get into that next week.

Retro Television Review: Miami Vice 4.22 “Mirror Image”

Posted on September 29, 2025 by Lisa Marie Bowman

This week, season 4 comes to a close.

Episode 4.22 “Mirror Image”

(Dir by Richard Compton, originally aired on May 6th, 1988)

Trying to recover from the assassination of his wife, Sonny Crockett throws himself back into his Sonny Burnett persona. As this episode starts, Sonny has managed to get close to a ruthless drug dealer named Gutierrez (Antonio Fargas). When Guiterrez blows up a boat that is full of rival drug dealers, the Vice Squad assumes that Gutierrez died in the explosion. They also assume that Sonny was lost as well.

They are incorrect. Gutierrez got off the boat before the bomb went off and somehow, Sonny was able to survive being blown up without suffering any sort of physical injuries. However, mentally, he wakes up with amnesia. When Gutierrez’s doctor tells Sonny that he’s a drug dealer and this his last name is “Burnett,” Sonny believes him.

In Ft. Lauderdale, Sonny quickly moves up in the organization of drug lord Miguel Manolo (Tony Azito). Now believing himself to be a criminal, Sonny has no hesitation about murdering anyone who he views as being a threat. He kills Gutierrez in cold blood about halfway through the episode. At the end of the episode, he shoots a corrupt detective (Chris Cooper) in cold blood. Tubbs, who has been investigating Manolo, witnesses that final murder. “SONNY!” he yells as Sonny escapes in a speedboat and season 4 comes to an end.

Season 4 was truly uneven, featuring some terrible episodes and also some episodes that were good but not particularly memorable. Before I started this season, I read that it was considered to be the worst of Miami Vice‘s five seasons and, having now watched every episode, I can see why. Sonny marrying Caitlin never made any sense. Most of the villains were either generic or ludicrous. Most of the episodes just didn’t have the style that made the first three seasons so memorable. Even worse than the boring episodes were the ones that tried too hard to be quirky. Trudy going into space was definitely not a great idea. With all that in mind, this final episode was great. The action was stylish, Don Johnson actually seemed invested in the story for once, and Phillip Michael Thomas got to show off his own skills as an actor. If only the entire season had been this good!

As well, I should mention that, along with Chris Cooper as a bad cop, this episode also featured Julia Roberts as Manolo’s girlfriend. Roberts didn’t really get to do much but, even in a small role, her screen presence was obvious. It’s not a surprise she became a star.

Next week …. we’ll start the final season of Miami Vice!

Retro Television Review: Miami Vice 4.18 “Badge of Dishonor”

Posted on September 1, 2025 by Lisa Marie Bowman

This week, Crockett and Tubbs battle some corrupt cops.

Episode 4.18 “Badge of Dishonor”

(Dir by Richard Compton, originally aired on March 18th, 1988)

Badge of Dishonor opens with Underworld’s Glory, Glory playing on the soundtrack. It’s an early electronic tune, one that isn’t quite EDM but still definitely shows hints of what Underworld and a lot of other synth-pop bands would eventually become. Usually, that would be pretty cool but, unfortunately, the song also has a gospel music feel and I personally gospel music to be excruciatingly dull.

That’s certainly the case here, where the music is played over the opening teaser and the gospel sounds robs it of whatever momentum it might have had. The episode opens with a drug deal gone wrong. Tubbs is working undercover when he and his contacts are suddenly busted by four cops, who kill the real dealers and then steal the drugs and the money. Tubbs barely manages to escape with his life. It should have been an exciting opening but it had a “been there, done that” sort of feel to it. This isn’t the first Miami Vice episode to feature an drug deal gone wrong and it’s not even the first to feature corrupt cops.

The cops in question are all originally from Cuba. Back in Castro’s Hellhole, they were all members of the same street gang. After coming to Miami and building up lengthy juvenile records, the four men were subsequently hired after a race riot (a real-life event that Castillo discusses in his terse manner) led to demands for a more racially-balanced police force. Because the force desperately needed some non-redneck cops, no one bothered to do an extensive background check on the four men when they applied to be cops. Tubbs comments that the corrupt cops are setting “minority hiring back 400 years.”

Crockett and Tubbs’s investigation at first centers on a lieutenant (Reni Santoni) who they think is crooked because he lives on a yacht. The lieutenant explains that he married well and that he suspects the same four cops as Crockett and Tubbs. The lieutenant is subsequently murdered by the cops. It turns out that the corrupt cops are getting their information from an undercover detective named Madison Stone (Michele Shay). Stone has spent the past few years deep undercover, living in a homeless community on the riverfront. Stone is not herself corrupt. She’s just been manipulated and is now in an impossible situation. At least, that’s the way Tubbs views it. Myself, I just felt that Madison Stone appeared to be as bad at working undercover as Sonny Crockett.

Technically, this was a well-made episode. The main problem is that the plot itself just felt so familiar and the four corrupt cops were not particularly interesting. Compared to the usual flamboyant Miami Vice criminals, the cops were pretty bland. In typical Miami Vice fashion, it ended on a dark note. The corrupt cops were defeated but both Madison Stone and their lieutenant were dead. There’s no happy endings in Miami.

4 Shots From 4 Films: Special David Hasselhoff Edition

Posted on July 17, 2025 by Lisa Marie Bowman

4 Shots From 4 Films is just what it says it is, 4 shots from 4 of our favorite films. As opposed to the reviews and recaps that we usually post, 4 Shots From 4 Films lets the visuals do the talking.

It’s the Hoff’s birthday! That means that it is time for….

4 Shots From 4 David Hasselhoff Films

Starcrash (1978, dir by Luigi Cozzi, DP: Paul Beeson and Roberto D’Ettorre Piazzoli)

Witchery (1988, dir by Fabrizio Laurenti, DP: Gianlorenzo Battaglia)

Panic At Malibu Pier (1989, dir by Richard Compton, DP: John McPherson)

Nick Fury: Agent of SHIELD (1998, dir by Rod Hardy, DP: James Bartle)

Retro Television Review: Miami Vice 4.4 “The Big Thaw”

Posted on May 12, 2025 by Lisa Marie Bowman

I don’t even know how to describe this episode.

Episode 4.4 “The Big Thaw”

(Dir by Richard Compton, originally aired on October 23rd, 1987)

The Vice Squad raids a decrepit building, expecting to find drugs. Instead, they find a container that holds the frozen body of a dead reggae singer. Robillard Nevin died after eating a poisoned fish but his body was frozen so it could be thawed out once a cure had been found. Several different groups of people — including Nevin’s widow and, for some reason, Izzy — all want the body.

Wait …. what?

This is a Miami Vice episode? Miami Vice, as you may remember, is supposed to be a stylish and cynical show about two detective fighting a losing war against the Miami drug underworld. Miami Vice is the show that often ends with Crockett and Tubbs looking on in anger as they realize that all of their efforts have been for nothing. This is the show that often ends with a sympathetic character either getting shot or shooting someone else. This is the show in which there are no happy endings and every episode — at least in the past — seemed to conclude at the cost of Sonny Crockett’s soul ….

Well, you get my point.

What the Hell is this?

The fourth season of Miami Vice is off to an uneven start. That’s not a surprise. After four seasons, not every episode is going to be a winner. It happens to the best of shows. But, seriously, how did we go from Crockett and Tubbs driving in the middle of the night while Phil Collins sings In The Air Tonight to Crockett and Tubbs trying to protect a cryogenically frozen corpse? I guess the show was trying to keep things fresh by trying something new but this episode was just too ridiculous to work. Not even Tubbs bringing out his fake Caribbean accent could save this episode.

By the way, cryogenics and all that …. it doesn’t work! It’s waste of money! But, hey, whatever. Do what you want. It’s your life.

Retro Television Review: Miami Vice 3.23 “Everybody’s In Show Business”

Posted on April 7, 2025 by Lisa Marie Bowman

This week, Crockett and Tubbs get involved in a theft and a theatrical troupe.

Episode 3.23 “Everybody’s In Show Business”

(Dir by Richard Compton, originally aired on May 1st, 1987)

The theft of a valuable briefcase that belonged to drug lord Don Gallego (Paul Calderon) leads the Vice Squad to Mikey (Michael Carmine), an ex-con who is now a published poet and runs his own theater group specifically for people who have just gotten out of prison. Unfortunately, Mikey has once again started using drugs (“Once a junkie, always a junkie,” Tubbs scornfully says) and he desperately needs the money that he can make by selling the briefcase back to Gallego. Gallego, for his part, will do anything to get that briefcase back.

This episode had a few good things going for it. Paul Calderon gave a strong performance as Don Gallego, a ruthless drug lord who dispenses threats and violence with style. (Calderon was also in King of New York as the untrustworthy Joey D. and he played the bartender, English Bob, in Pulp Fiction. Reportedly, Calderon was the second choice for the role of Jules Winnfield.) Mikey’s young brother is played by Benicio Del Toro and, while Del Toro doesn’t really get to do much in this episode, his appearance continues Miami Vice‘s tradition of featuring future stars amongst its supporting cast.

That said, Michael Carmine’s performance as Mikey didn’t really work for me. Mikey was meant to be wild, charismatic, and touched with a hint of genius but Carmine overacts to such an extent that it becomes impossible to take Mikey seriously as any of those three things. A scene where he portrays his version of Elvis is meant to be a showstopper but it just left me cringing. Sonny, somewhat uncharacteristically, is portrayed as being an admirer of Mikey’s poetry. (I thought Tubbs was supposed to be the sensitive one.) Unfortunately, the poetry that we hear doesn’t sound that impressive. Sonny has been portrayed as being such a cynic in the past that it’s hard to buy the idea that he would be so moved by Mikey. If anything, it almost feels as if Sonny and Tubbs have switched roles in this episode. Usually, Tubbs is the one who isn’t cynical enough.

The episode ends on something of an off-note, with Mikey apparently being near death but somehow managing to escape the hospital after he’s visited by Crockett and Tubbs. This is the sort of thing that would perhaps have worked if Mikey was a recurring character. If they had brought back Noogie and had him as the poetry-writing junkie in over his head, this episode probably would have worked. But we don’t really know Mikey and, from what we see of him, he comes across as being a bit of a jerk. So, what do we care if he gets in trouble?

Next week, season 3 comes to an end!

Welcome Home, Soldier Boys (1971, directed by Richard Compton)

Posted on February 12, 2025 by Jedadiah Leland

Talk about embarrassing! When Lisa told me that today was Joe Don Baker’s birthday, I decided that I would review Speedtrap, as 1977 car theft movie that Lisa and I watched last week. But, when I took a look at the imdb to double check the name of the character that Baker played in Speedtrap, I discovered that I had already reviewed it!

Instead of talking about Speedtrap a second time, I’m going to recommend one of Joe Don Baker’s early films. In Welcome Home, Soldier Boys, Baker stars as Danny, the leader of a group of Green Berets who have just returned from Vietnam and can no longer find a place in society. Danny, Kid (Alan Vint), Shooter (Paul Koslo), and Fatback (Elliott Street) go on a cross-country road trip. After they kill a prostitute (Jennifer Billingsley) who demanded more money than they were willing to pay, they visit many sites from their youth. They go to a high school basketball team. They spend some time in a sleazy motel. (Geoffrey Lewis plays the desk clerk.) They get into a fight with a mechanic (Timothy Scott) over the price of some auto repairs. After being cheated by one too many people and realizing that no one cares about the sacrifices that they made for their country, they put on their uniforms and violently take over a small town, leading the National Guard to show up to take them all out.

Welcome Home, Soldier Boys is a pretty ham-fisted anti-war allegory and the plot sometimes meanders too much for its own good. With its road trip violence, its a dry run for director Richard Compton’s far more cohesive Macon County Line. The movie still packs a punch, due to the efforts of the cast and the violent ending. The movie is full of familiar characters actors, who are all convincing in their roles but it really is dominated by Joe Don Baker’s hulking intensity. Danny is the dark side of the amiable country boys that Joe Don Baker would play in so many other movies. Danny is angry but, as a stranger in a strange land, he’s sometimes sympathetic. Ultimately, Danny wants the respect that was given to the returning soldiers of the previous generation. Instead, he comes back to country that doesn’t want much to do with him or his friends. Returning from serving overseas and still trying to deal with the things that he saw in overseas, Danny feels lost in and rejected by his home country. It’s one of Baker’s best performances.

Retro Television Review: Miami Vice 3.13 “Down For The Count: Part Two”

Posted on January 13, 2025 by Lisa Marie Bowman

This week is all about justice for Zito!

Episode 3.13 “Down For The Count: Part Two”

(Dir by Richard Compton, originally aired on January 16th, 1987)

Picking up where last week’s episode ended, Down For The Count: Part Two finds almost the entire Vice Squad mourning the death of Larry Zito. I say “almost” because, as usual, Castillo refuses to show any emotion or even look anyone in the eye. When he first appeared, Castillo’s stoicism made him an interesting character but I have to admit that I’m starting to get a bored with the character and his refusal to speak in anything more than terse growls. ZITO’S DEAD! WAKE UP, CASTILLO!

Switek, needless to say, is heart-broken. Trudy tells Gina that she had a totally meaningless one night stand with some guy she met at a club because she was depressed. (“Did it make you feel better?” Gina asks. “No!” Trudy wails.) Crockett is determined to take down crooked boxing promoter Oswaldo Guzman (Pepe Serna) and prove that Zito was not a junkie but that he was instead murdered by Guzman’s goons. As for Tubbs, he makes a few jokes. WHAT’S WRONG WITH YOU, TUBBS!? ZITO’S DEAD!

Crockett and Tubbs go undercover as Burnett and Cooper and, once again, I find myself wondering how they can keep successfully doing that when their cover has gotten blown over a dozen times over the course of the series. Do criminals in Miami not talk to each other? This time, Crockett pretends to be involved with a cable sports network that wants to make a deal to air the fights that Guzman sponsors. When a Las Vegas gangster named Guilinni (former Warhol superstar Joe Dallesandro) shows up looking to kill Guzman, Crockett and Tubbs effortlessly manipulate both sides. It turns out that criminals aren’t that smart.

Meanwhile, Trudy and Gina meet one of Crockett’s associates from the Vietnam War. His name is Danny Allred (Chris Elliott) and he’s a former CIA agent who now lives in an abandoned airplane. Danny is a codebreaker and he helps them to figure out the code that Guzman was using to keep track of all of his crooked fights. Danny is a fun character and I hope he shows up in more episodes. He added some moments of levity to what was otherwise a pretty grim episode.

This episode had plenty of good moments. The scene where Crockett and Tubbs visited Zito’s apartment was both poignant and nicely-acted by both Don Johnson and Philip Michael Thomas. The final shoot-out was violent even by the standards of Miami Vice. That said, I’m a bit surprised that the episode didn’t revolve around Switek. Switek gets to express his anger and argue with Internal Affairs at the start of the episode and gets to repeatedly shoot Guzman at the end of the episode but he’s largely absent for the middle part of the story. As Switek was both Zito’s partner and his best friend, it really does seem like he should have been at the center of the entire episode.

Still, I was glad that Zito’s name was cleared and that Guzman ended up getting shot multiple times until he fell out a window. The show’s final credits featured still shots of John Diehl as Zito. I’m going to miss Larry.

Retro Television Review: Miami Vice 3.12 “Down For The Count: Part One”

Posted on January 6, 2025 by Lisa Marie Bowman

This week, Miami Vice says goodbye to a friend.

Episode 3.12 “Down For The Count: Part One”

(Dir by Richard Compton, originally aired on January 9th, 1987)

Larry Zito finally gets his own episode!

Played by John Diehl, Larry Zito was a part of the show from the very beginning. Occasionally, it’s easy to forget that Diehl was a part of the ensemble because his character was rarely given anything to do and we rarely learned that much about Zito. He was Switek’s partner and he seemed to have a quirky sense of humor. Occasionally, he had long hair and a beard and he seemed to enjoy wearing elaborate disguises while working undercover. That said, Zito was always a bit of an enigma. Even the rare episodes that centered on the Switek/Zito partnership seemed to feature Zito mostly in the background.

In this episode, though, we finally learn a bit about Zito. We learn that he has a background as a boxer and he’s good at training other fighters. We learn that he takes it seriously whenever he hears about a crooked promoter manipulating a boxer. We learn that Zito is a recovering alcoholic. In this episode, we learn that Zito is more than just goofy comic relief. He’s got a heart as gold. When the Vice Squad investigates a crooked promoter named Guzman (Pepe Serna), Zito takes it upon himself to train an up-and-coming boxer named Bobby Sykes (Mark Breland). Bobby’s previous trainer (played by Randall “Tex” Cobb) was a friend of Zito’s and was murdered by Guzman. For Zito, this case is personal. He even helps Bobby win a championship. Yay, Zito! That’s not bad for a supporting character!

Unfortunately, this also leads to Zito dying. After the fight, Zito is confronted by Guzman and his men. Switek later finds Zito’s body in the gym with a hypodermic needle sticking out of his arm. Guzman gave Zito a fatal overdose of heroin.

This really depressed me! I mean, Zito finally gets a chance to handle a serious case and, even more importantly, John Diehl finally gets a chance to show off the fact that he’s a very good actor and then, at the end of the episode, Zito’s dead! Poor Zito!

(From what I’ve read, John Diehl wanted off the show because he felt his role was underwritten and he also preferred doing theater to weekly television. That’s understandable. At least he got one turn in the spotlight before he was written off the show.)

Needless to say, this episode is dominated by the death of Zito. The scene with a tearful Switek cradling Zito’s dead body makes such an impression that it’s easy to forget that this episode also featured the odd spectacle of Don King playing Mr. Cash, an ex-con turned honest fight promoter who disapproves of Guzman’s tactics. Somehow, Don King being the voice of integrity makes sense in the topsy-turvy world of Miami Vice. King says that Guzman is in Miami because it’s a brand new territory and a place where anyone can make it rich. That’s been one of the recurring themes of this show since it began. Anything can happen in Miami. Including Larry Zito dying….

Give me a moment to wipe away the tears. Seriously, the end of this episode really depressed me!

Next week, Switek is out for revenge. I hope he gets it!