Today’s song of the day comes from the score to Nicholas Ray’s 1961 Biblical epic, King of Kings.
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Music Video Of The Day: My Own Summer by Deftones (1997, dir by Dean Karr)
In this video, the Deftones perform while standing on shark cages. Which … I don’t know. That, honestly, is something that I would never do. It just seems like you’re inviting trouble and, to prove my point, Chino Moreno does fall into the water while performing. Apparently, Chino survived being attacked by the shark because he’s still around. Maybe he’s like Felix Leiter in the original James Bond novels and he’s bionic now.
Enjoy!
Late Night Retro Television Review: 1st & Ten 1.4 “The Slump”
Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Wednesdays, I will be reviewing 1st and Ten, which aired in syndication from 1984 to 1991. The entire series is streaming on Tubi.
This week, cocaine comes to the locker room. Actually, cocaine was probably already there. Now, there’s more cocaine. Football, right?
Anyway….
Episode 1.4 “The Slump”
(Dir by Bruce Seth Green, originally aired on December 16th, 1984)
This week’s episode starts off with some full front nudity as wide receiver Mace Petty (Marshall R. Teague) takes a shower with a blonde woman. Suddenly, a bearded man steps into the shower, accuses Mace of seducing his wife, and points a gun at him. OH MY GOD, IS MACE GOING TO DIE!? (And who is Mace, anyway?)
Oh wait, it’s a prop gun. Ha ha, it’s practical joke. Those crazy Bulls.
With the required HBO nudity out of the way, the plot kicks off. The Bulls are in a slump. They’ve lost their past two games! In order to turn things around, Diane makes a trade for a talented wide receiver. (Ha! TAKE THAT, MACE!) Butch Cassidy (Michael Toland) may be a good athlete but guess who has a cocaine addiction!? Butch is soon snorting in the men’s room. When he has to take a drug test, he uses a groupie’s urine instead. When the results come back, it’s announced that Butch is pregnant. Butch is kicked off the team. Maybe the Sundance Kid can take his place….
The good news is that The Bulls still win their next game, breaking the slump. And Bob Dorsey earns Diana’s trust by telling her that Butch has a drug problem. And the Arcola Brothers attempt to keep the Bulls from serving beer at the stadium is thwarted when Diana has a bunch of helicopter fly in the beer. (That way, no one has to cross the picket line that the Arcolas have set up outside the stadium.) Finally, Carl Witherspoon gets a new contract and the rest of the team gets jealous because Carl is now a “millionaire” but then Carl points out that he’s a terrible negotiator and he actually got screwed over on the contract. He then agrees to take the team to Hawaii. No wonder they won that game!
This episode was actually better than the previous three. That doesn’t mean it was particularly good but still it wasn’t terrible. (And that’s what we mean by “damning by faint praise.”) If nothing else, Michael Toland gave a good performance as the cocky but self-destructive Butch Cassidy. I also kind of like the chemistry between Geoffrey Scott and Delta Burke. They’re good together. As far as episodes of bad shows go, this was a good one.
Retro Television Review: The Love Boat 6.11 “The Tomorrow Lady/Father, Dear Father/Still Life”
Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Wednesdays, I will be reviewing the original Love Boat, which aired on ABC from 1977 to 1986! The series can be streamed on Paramount Plus!
This week, a man tells a terrible lie, Greer Garson can see the future, and Isaac is losing his hearing! Come aboard, we’re expecting you….
Episode 6.11 “The Tomorrow Lady/Father, Dear Father/Still Life”
(Dir by Richard A. Wells, originally aired on December 4th, 1992)
This episode of The Love Boat features one of the worst stories ever. Ken Miller (Lawrence Pressman) wants to date Sarah Curtis (Kim Darby). However, Sarah is on the cruise as a member of the Single Parents Group and, when Sarah first sees Ken, she assumes that Ken is a single father because he’s standing with Libby McDonald (played by the one-named Louanne), who is the daughter of Ken’s friend, Tom (Jim Stafford). So, Ken just decides to lie about being a father.
Eventually, Sarah finds out. When she notices that Libby is spending all of her time with Tom, the gig is up. Sarah, however, FORGIVES Ken and accepts his marriage proposal! (“Looks like I won’t be a member of Single Parents anymore….”) Lady, he lied to you about having a daughter! He recruited a little girl to pretend to be his daughter! THIS IS NOT THE WAY TO START A MARRIAGE!
The other two stories were better. One featured Greer Garson (in her final screen performance before retiring) as a woman who was a self-described “good guesser.” She met a struggling businessman (Howard Duff) who wanted to use her power to play the stock market but eventually, he fell in love with her for her and not her powers. Howard Duff’s character was not particularly likable but Greer Garson seemed to be having fun.
The other story featured Isaac struggling with a double ear infection and fearing that he would permanently lose his hearing. He didn’t, which is good considering that he’s the ship’s head bartender and he’s the guy who everyone comes to with their problems. (It always amuses me how a passenger will just automatically start talking to Isaac as if they’re best friends when they’ve only been on the boat for a couple of hours.) What made this story work, though, was the performance of Ted Lange. He was so believably scared of losing his hearing that you just wanted someone to hug him and reassure him that it would all be okay. When his hearing finally came back, I breathed a sigh of relief. Obviously, playing Isaac was probably not the most challenging roll of Ted Lange’s career. I mean, the man has played Othello! Still, Lange gave a really good and honest performance in this episode. He didn’t use the fact that he was acting on The Love Boat as an excuse to just coast.
This cruise …. it was kind of forgettable. Still, at least Ted Lange got a chance to shine!
Song of the Day: Andy Warhol from David Bowie
Today’s song of the day comes from David Bowie and it’s about Bowie’s fascination with Andy Warhol. Warhol himself apparently didn’t care for this song but Bowie meant it as a tribute.
This song came out in 1971. 25 years later, Bowie would play Andy Warhol in Basquiat.
Music Video Of The Day: Summer 09 by Vancouver Sleep Clinic (2019, dir by Max Galassi)
Today’s music video of the day is this haunting and rather sad video for Summer ’09, the second single to be released from Vancouver Sleep Clinic’s second album, Onwards to Zion.
The song itself was inspired by the passing of a friend of Tom Bettison’s. (Bettison is the artist behind Vancouver Sleep Clinic.) Bettison’s friend passed away in 2017 and this song was Bettison’s way of dealing with the pain of his loss. It’s not surprising, then, that both the song and the video are both nostalgic and sad, a song of regret that also celebrates the time that these two friends were able to share with one another.
Enjoy!
Late Night Retro Television Review: Pacific Blue 2.14 “One Kiss Goodnight”
Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Tuesdays, I will be reviewing Pacific Blue, a cop show that aired from 1996 to 2000 on the USA Network! It’s currently streaming everywhere, though I’m watching it on Tubi.
This week, Cory helps a man who can’t remember how lame this show is.
Episode 2.14 “One Kiss Goodnight”
(Dir by Sara Rose, originally aired on December 15th, 1996)
Alec Cooper (Markus Flanagan) gets amnesia after he falls off the balcony of his hotel room while trying to escape some mysterious men with guns. Cory tries to help Alec figure out who he actually is and she starts to fall in love with him in the process. Alec admits that there seems to be something familiar about Cory.
Well, that means there are only two possibilities.
Cory and Alec are either meant to be together
or
Alec is married to someone who looks just like Cory!
It turns out the latter is true. Alec eventually get his memory back and Cory meets his wife, who indeed looks a lot like her. Cory goes back to being single. Interestingly, Chris spends this entire episode telling Cory that she needs to date more but she doesn’t approve of Cory dating someone who has amnesia. Then again, Chris doesn’t really approve of anyone doing anything.
Meanwhile, TC’s girlfriend makes the decision to leave Santa Monica so that she can attend a graduate program and become a counselor for rape victims. This is the sort of storyline that would have been touching if TC has any personality or if he and his girlfriend had any sort of chemistry. But they don’t.
It probably sound like I hated this episode. Actually, I think it’s one of the better episodes of season 2, if just because the bike riding was kept to a minimum. The bikes would have made this awful. Without all of the bike nonsense, it was merely forgettable. That’s progress!
Song of the Day: The Main Title Track From The Maltese Falcon by Adolph Deutsch
Today’s song of the day comes from John Huston’s directorial debut, 1941’s The Maltese Falcon.
Music Video of the Day: Summers in Vegas by Lolo Zouaï (2019, dir by Lolo Zouaï and Tommy Nowels)
This is a nicely evocative video. Las Vegas is the quintessential American city, a celebration of commerce and hospitality that happens to be sitting out in the middle of an inhospitable desert. Vegas could only have been founded in America and it’s only in America that it could have thrived to become the iconic city that it is today.
Of course, I should also mention that, whenever I see any clips of the Las Vegas strip, I automatically think about the movie Casino and the Ace Rothstein Dancers. If I ever go to Vegas, I’m going to let Commissioner Pat Webb know that Sam “Ace” Rothstein has nothing to hide.
Enjoy!
Late Night Retro Television Review: CHiPs 4.7 “Satan’s Angels”
Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Mondays, I will be reviewing CHiPs, which ran on NBC from 1977 to 1983. The entire show is currently streaming on Prime!
This week, Bonnie is taken hostage! It’s good thing Ponch exists because you know no one else on this show is going to able to rescue her.
Episode 4.7 “Satan’s Angels”
(Dir by Phil Bondelli, originally aired on December 14th, 1980)
When confronting a group of outlaw bikers who are harrassing a teenager (Heather Locklear, in her screen debut), Bonnie is kidnapped! Reno (John Quade) manages to snap her own handcuffs on her wrists and then drags her to a cabin owned by Stan (William Smith) and his wife (Candice Azzara).
Can the Highway Patrol find the cabin? The cabin is in the mountains it might not be easy to locate. It’s a good thing that Ponch and Jon just happen have those motorized hang gliders! It’s California living to the rescue! Needless to say, Ponch and Jon (but mostly Ponch) are able to swoop in for the rescue.
This episode didn’t do much for me but then again, episodes about hostage situations rarely do. Once a character is taken hostage, it pretty much causes the action to slow down to a crawl. There’s only so many times you can listen to someone being told not to even think about escaping before it gets kind of boring. This episode did feature the great villainous character actor, William Smith. It had that going for it. But, otherwise, the episode itself moved very slowly and it didn’t help that Bonnie herself was required to make a lot of very stupid mistakes so that she could be kidnapped in the first place. When a show’s storyline depends on a previous competent person suddenly being amazing incompetent, it’s an issue.
This episode’s b-plot featured Getraer’s very pregnant wife continually going the hospital, just to discover it was a false alarm. Getraer’s wife was played Gwynne Gilford who was (and is) married to Robert Pine. Their son, Chris Pine, was born a few months before this episode aired.
Through the Shattered Lens 