Guilty Pleasure No. 44: Paranormal State

Posted on October 22, 2019 by Lisa Marie Bowman

“We are students…..we are seekers…..and sometimes we are warriors. And each time we help someone, I feel like I’m one step closer to finding the truth…”

The words opened up all 86 episodes of Paranormal State, a “reality” show that ran on A&E from 2007 to 2011. They were delivered by Ryan Buell, who was the head of the Pennsylvania State University Paranormal Research Society. Buell also narrated every episode of Paranormal State and perhaps the most memorable thing about the show was the strangely robotic sound of his narration. Buell delivered his lines in a memorably flat monotone, one that rarely betrayed a hint of emotion while talking about the spirits that the Team supposedly dealt with in each and every episode. Even when Buell talked about the demon that had supposedly been stalking him since childhood, he did so with all the emotion of Alexa confirming a grocery list.

Paranormal State was one of those shows where people would around in a dark house with an infrared camera while randomly saying stuff like, “Did you feel that? I felt a suddenly cold wind in this room. You’ll just have to take my word for it.” Occasionally, a light would get knocked over or a door would close on its own. Along with asking each other if they had felt anything, the members of the Paranormal Research Society were also fond of asking, “Did you hear that?” and “Oh my God, did you just see that?” I always liked it when they would review the film in slow-motion and point at a barely visible smudge on the image and say, “There it is. There’s the spirit.” Ultimately, it would usually lead to a medium being called in and wandering around the house and going, “It’s time for you to move on, spirit. Whisper something if you’re here. Oh my God, did you hear that?”

It was all pretty obviously staged and kind of dumb but I still enjoyed the show because I liked the idea of a bunch of college students skipping class so that they could spend the night in a deserted barn while waiting for the ghost of a angry farmer to push over a pitchfork or something. I mean, if my college had given credit for ghost hunting, I totally would have done it! The show may have been fake but it was fun to pretend that it was real.

After the show ended, Ryan Buell had his personal difficulties, which I’m not going to dwell on. As for the show, it actually lives on. I recently came across reruns on the FYI network and I’ve lost track of the number of people I’ve met who, like me, can recite that opening narration by heart. Seriously, it just gets in your head.

Previous Guilty Pleasures

Horror Film Review: The Guardian (dir by William Friedkin)

Posted on October 22, 2019 by Lisa Marie Bowman

OH MY GOD! THAT TREE IS EATING PEOPLE!

“You mean the tree played by Kevin Costner?”

No, no. You’re thinking of the wrong Guardian, my imaginary friend. This Guardian is from 1990 and it’s the killer tree film that was directed by William Friedkin.

“William Friedkin directed a killer tree film?”

Apparently so.

“What’s it about?”

It’s kind of hard to say. Camilla (Jenny Seagrove) is hired as a nanny and proceeds to not only claim the baby as her own but also tries to seduce the baby’s father away from his wife.

“I think it’s cute the way that you always mention the actor’s name is parenthesis….”

Well, that’s what we’re taught to do. But back to The Guardian. The Guardian could also be a movie about a druid who steals babies so that she can sacrifice them to a tree God.

“You mean like that big talking tree from the from Lord of the Rings?”

I guess. Or maybe Camilla is a reincarnation of Lillith, the demon who kidnaps babies in the night.

“Poor Lillith, so misunderstood.”

Or maybe Camilla is a witch who can make wolves and tress do her bidding!

“Like Sabrina?”

I don’t want to talk about fcking Sabrina.

“Did you mean to spell the f-word that way?”

I try to keep my actual cursing to minimum. That way, it means something.

“That’s sweet.”

Whatever. Back to The Guardian! It’s also possible that Camilla actually is a tree that’s come to life and is now doing evil tree stuff!

“So, what you’re saying is that the film is unclear about just what exactly Camilla’s deal is?”

That’s it, exactly! The Guardian is a notorious mess and it’s probably significant that this is one of two films that William Friedkin doesn’t even acknowledge in his otherwise tell-all autobiography, Friedkin Confidential. Reportedly, there were problems on the set. From what little I’ve found online, it would appear that Friedkin originally wanted the movie to be about a mentally deranged woman who thought she was a druid. But the producers wanted a horror film about a woman who actually was a druid. Somehow, this eventually led to The Guardian becoming a movie about a woman who is actually a tree. What’s funny is that the film itself feels like a typical crazy nanny Lifetime film, up until the moment that one of Camilla’s employers attempts to take a chainsaw to that tree.

“Trees don’t like chainsaws.”

Yeah, no joke. Anyway, before all that happens, Camilla is killing people left and right but yet no one seems to notice. She doesn’t make any secret of the fact that she’s trying to seduce Phil (Dwier Brown) but Phil’s wife, Kate (Carey Lowell), doesn’t seem to care. Instead, Phil and Kate attempt to set Camilla up with their friend, goofy Ned (Brad Hall). It doesn’t take long for Ned to get devoured by a bunch of wolves. That’s what happens when you walk in on a druid nanny turning into a tree, I guess.

“Isn’t Brad Hall married to Julia Louis-Dreyfus?”

Indeed, he is! And you don’t see him in any movies nowadays so I guess getting eaten by wolves was kind of the last straw. But the movie gets even weirder! There’s also an odd scene in which three gang members just happen to be walking through the woods when they come across Camilla and the baby. They kind of pop up out of nowhere and they immediately turn out to be some pretty bad guys. Luckily, a tree pops up and kills the all. Is the tree Camilla or is the tree someone else? Who knows?

“Gang members in the woods? You mean like in Friday the 13th Part 3?”

Strangely enough, yes. Even stranger is the fact that no one notices anything strange about Camilla. To be honest, there are times that Camilla might as well be wearing a sign that reads, “Druid” but no one seems to notice. Then again, it’s debatable whether or not she was actually a druid. She might actually be a tree and I guess it’s understandable that something like that wouldn’t naturally occur to anyone. I mean, I think we’ve all probably met a druid or two but someone who is actually a tree? Well, that’s unusual.

“Very unusual!”

Anyway, The Guardian is a messy film and I’m afraid that I’m probably making it sound more fun than it actually is. If you do watch it, please be sure to chime in with your thoughts on whether or not Camilla is actually a tree. I look forward to hearing your opinion!

“Don’t you want to hear my opinion?”

No.

Yes, this an actual scene from The Guardian.

Horror on the Lens: Hands of a Stranger (dir by Newt Arnold)

Posted on October 22, 2019 by Lisa Marie Bowman

After concert pianist Vernon Paris (James Stapleton) loses his hands in an auto accident, he is the recipient of a double hand transplant. Unfortunately, Vernon isn’t happy with having a stranger’s hands and he fears that he’ll never be able to play the piano again. Even worse, he soon becomes convinced that the hands are evil and are trying to force him to commit murders.

But is it the hands or Vernon’s own unstable mind that’s responsible his actions?

This 1962 horror film was the fourth adaptation of the Maurice Renard’s The Hands of Orlac. As opposed to other film adaptations of Renard’s novel, Hands of Stranger plays up the ambiguity of whether the recipient of the hands is truly possessed or if he’s just using the hands as an excuse to indulge in his dark side.

Enjoy!

Music Video of the Day: Black River Killer by Blitzen Trapper (2009, dir by Daniel Elkayam)

Posted on October 22, 2019 by Lisa Marie Bowman

If Cormac McCarthy was writing and directing music videos, the end result would probably be a lot like this brilliant video for Blitzen Trapper’s Black River Killer.

The song may be about a man who is thrown in jail on a whim and charged with the murder of a woman that was found on the Sunset Strip but, as soon becomes obvious, sometimes whims turn out to be correct. The song’s narrator is a murderer, one who kills randomly and without giving it much of a second thought. According to an interview Eric Earley gave to Rainn Wilson, the killer is actually a supernatural force that possesses one individual after another. So, even if the current Black River Killer ceases his activities, a new one will take his place.

Enjoy!

Horror on TV: Suspense 1.7 “A Night At The Inn” (dir by Robert Stevens)

Posted on October 21, 2019 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Suspense was an anthology series that aired from 1949 to 1953. As you can probably guess from the show’s title, each episode was a thriller of some sort. Occasionally, the episodes were also horror-themed. Suspense was also a live production, with each episode essentially functioning as a 30-minute play.

Tonight’s episode of Suspense originally aired on April 26th, 1949 and it features Boris Karloff. It deals with four thieves hiding out in a British Inn, after having stolen a ruby eye from a holy statue in India. Needless to say, that was not a particularly wise decision.

Enjoy!

Horror on the Lens: Curse of the Swamp Creature (dir by Larry Buchanan)

Posted on October 21, 2019 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Today’s horror on the lens is 1966’s Curse of the Swamp Creature!

Probably the best thing about Curse of the Swamp Creature is that it was filmed in the town of Uncertain, Texas, which is right near the Texas/Louisiana border. Uncertain, which sits on the shores of Caddo Lake, was incorporated in 1961. Reportedly, when filling out the paperwork, the town’s founders wrote “Uncertain” in the blank for the name because they genuinely hadn’t come up with a name. And …. well, you know what happens when you try to make a joke on an official document.

Anyway, this film was directed by Larry Buchanan and that’s really all you need to know about it. Buchanan specialized in making low-budget remakes of other films, though he always claimed that Curse of the Swamp Creature was a totally original idea on his part. The film is about a mad scientist who lives in the swamp and is trying to reverse evolution. Things don’t always work out the way that they should and occasionally, the mad scientist has to feed his alligators. John Agar’s in the movie, of course.

Enjoy!

Music Video of the Day: American Horror by Speedy Ortiz (2014, dir by Peter Binswanger)

Posted on October 21, 2019 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Needless to say, the part with the dancer being controlled and then transformed into something else totally freaked me out, mostly because I’ve had nightmares like that.

And then, of course, you have the tentacles and the graffiti, which feels like something that H.P. Lovecraft would have come up with if he had lived in New York City in the 1970s and had to travel on the subway everyday. It’s easy to imagine old Howard Lovecraft, heading to an accounting job while staring at the graffiti all around him and wondering what type of monster was responsible for it. Cthulhu tags his territory.

As for the wizard with the eyes — well, glowing eyes are always freaky.

Enjoy!

The TSL’s Horror Grindhouse: The Flesh and Blood Show (dir by Pete Walker)

Posted on October 20, 2019 by Lisa Marie Bowman

I had a few reasons for watching the 1972 slasher film, The Flesh and Blood Show.

First off, the film was directed by Pete Walker. Though Pete Walker may not be as well-known as some of his contemporaries and his overall cinematic output is dreadfully uneven, he was still responsible for enough memorable films that I will always give him a chance.

Secondly, it’s a British film and the British were responsible for some of the best horror films of the late 60s and early 70s.

Third, speaking as a horror fan, that title is just irresistible. The Flesh and Blood Show? Well, there’s nothing subtle about that! Looking at that title, you find yourself wondering, “How much flesh and how much blood is actually in this film?”

Well, having watched the film, I can tell you that there’s very little blood and a good deal of flesh. The Flesh and Blood Show was Walker’s first horror film. Before moving into the horror genre, Walker specialized in making sexploitation movies and it’s kind of obvious that, when he directed this film, he was still more comfortable asking people to undress than asking them to play dead. As opposed to other slasher films, the majority of the young cast survives and the almost all of the murders occur off-screen. Every couple of minutes or so, someone else is getting undressed. The constant nudity actually starts to get pretty funny after a while. One could very easily use The Flesh and Blood Show to construct a drinking game.

As for the film’s plot, it deals with a group of actors who receive invitations to an abandoned theater. An unseen producer apparently wants them all to perform an infamous play, perhaps the same play that is rumored to have led to tragedy back in 1945. If it seems rather odd that the film’s characters would willingly go to an abandoned theater in the middle of nowhere and perform a possibly cursed play, no one is ever going to accuse anyone in this film of being smart. Why ask why when there’s so much dancing and undressing to do?

There’s also an elderly major (Patrick Barr) hanging out around the theater. He was actually one of my favorite characters in the movie because he approached everything with this very British, very stiff upper lip attitude. Of course, the major himself has a secret. That said, the secret isn’t that surprising. I figured it out as soon as he showed up.

Naturally, all the murders at the theater are linked back to a tragedy in the past. The final 15 minutes of the movie are made up of an extensive flashback to that tragedy and I will say this: it’s the best part of the film. The flashback was originally filmed in 3-D and Walker uses this as an excuse to indulge in some surreal flourishes.

There are a few positive things to be said about The Flesh and Blood Show. Pete Walker was a talented director and that talent comes through in even his weaker films. There are a few scenes where Walker manages to maintain a properly ominous atmosphere and the movie’s score is so melodramatic and over the top that it’s kind of hard not to love it.

But, for the most part, The Flesh and Blood Show is a rather forgettable film. If you want to see a good Pete Walker film, track down Frightmare.

Book Review: The Vampyre by John William Polidori

Posted on October 20, 2019 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Though The Vampyre was often erroneously attributed to Lord Byron, it was written by John William Polidori

First written way back in 1816, The Vampyre is a story about an amazingly naive young gentleman named Aubrey who becomes friends with the mysterious Lord Ruthven.

Everything about the enigmatic Lord Ruthven would seem to suggest that he’s a vampire but Aubrey never figures that out while he and the nobleman travel across Europe. Even after an inkeeper’s daughter dies of a vampire attack shortly after telling Aubrey about vampires (and, also, immediately after the sudden arrival of Ruthven), it still doesn’t occur to Aubrey that there might be something strange about Lord Ruthven. When Lord Ruthven is mortally wounded by bandits, he makes Aubrey swear an oath that he will not tell anyone about Ruthven’s death for a year and a day. Aubrey promises to keep the oath.

Now, apparently, back in the 19th century, people took those oaths very seriously because, even after Lord Ruthven shows up alive once again and now claiming to be the Earl of Marsden, Aubrey can’t tell anyone that he saw Ruthven die. Even after Ruthven starts to court Aubrey’s sister with the obvious intention of draining her blood, Aubrey still cannot bring himself to break his oath. Is it because oaths were really that important or is it that Aubrey himself is as in thrall of Ruthven as his sister?

John William Polidori was a physician and a writer, as well as a contemporary and friend to Mary Shelley, Lord Byron, and Percy Shelley. The Vampyre was conceived and written as a part of the same contest that saw Mary Shelley write Frankenstein. Though Polidori’s story is understandably overshadowed by Mary Shelley’s (and, it must be said, Polidori was nowhere near as good a writer as his famous friends), it’s still historically significant as the first “romantic” vampire tale. It’s the story from which so many others have sprung.

Many have also speculated that the story was based on Polidori’s friendship with Lord Byron, with Polidori represented by the unstable Aubrey while the self-centered but charismatic Lord Ruthven was perhaps meant to be a stand-in for Byron himself. This may be true or it may not. (When it comes to Byron, the Shelleys, and Polidori, it’s always perhaps a bit too tempting to read too much between the lines.)

The Vampyre is a historically important piece of work so, if you’re a fan of vampires, you have to read it. Flaws and all, we owe much to Lord Ruthven and John William Polidori.

International Horror Film Review: The Nude Vampire (dir by Jean Rollin)

Posted on October 20, 2019 by Lisa Marie Bowman

In the middle of the night, a woman (Christine François), wearing an orange nightgown walks down a dark, Paris street.

She is followed by three men, all of whom are wearing strange, bird-like masks.

The woman turns a corner and runs into Pierre (Olivier Rollin). Pierre and the woman stare at each other, without saying a word. Though it may be their first time to meet each other, both their attraction and their bond is instantaneous.

Both Pierre and the woman run down the street. The men in the marks follow them.

Finally, in a deserted alley, the men corner the woman and Pierre. Though Pierre escapes, the woman is shot by one of the men and promptly collapses.

The men pick up the woman’s body and carry her to a nearby, gated building. A bearded doorman lets them through. Several other people, all wearing tuxedos and fancy gowns, come to the gate and, after showing the doorman their invitation, are allowed to pass through. Pierre tries to follow but is told that he cannot enter because he has not been invited.

And so begins Jean Rollin’s 1970 film, The Nude Vampire. This was Rollin’s second film, following the controversial Le Viol du Vampire. The Nude Vampire, while once again featuring all of Rollin’s pet obsessions, is still a far more assured piece of filmmaking than Rollin’s first film. It’s interesting to watch The Nude Vampire directly after Le Viol du Vampire because you can can truly see Rollin developing as a director. Once again, Rollin is telling an odd story about a frequently disrobed vampire and once again, all of the action leads to the beach. However, the plot is far easier to follow in The Nude Vampire than in Le Viol du Vampire. If the first film often seemed to be too indulgent for its own good, The Nude Vampire is just indulgent enough to work. Of course, as with any Rollin film, your mileage may vary. What seems rather coherent and almost tame to a Rollin fan may seem like the exact opposite to someone who has never seen a Rollin film before.

As for Pierre, he is determined to figure out what happened to the woman, even though his own father says that it is sometimes best to just leave well enough alone. After punching out a partygoer and stealing his invitation, Pierre gets into the building and discovers that, despite having been shot in front of him, the woman in the orange nightgown is not dead. In fact, she doesn’t even appear to be injured. Instead, she drinks the blood of a party guest who has just committed suicide. It turns out that the party is actually a cult and they worship the woman.

As if that’s not shocking enough, Pierre discovers that his own father is in charge of the cult! His father explains that the woman is actually a vampire but that there might be a cure for her condition. But, in order to cure her, she must be kept safe from the vampires who are trying to capture her….

And that’s not all! But I won’t share any more of the plot. I only have limited space here, after all. The film plays out like a serial, with twists and turns and a lot of scenes involving people being chased from one location to another. As I mentioned before, it all leads to the beach because this is a Rollin film and Rollin’s vampiric visions always ended with the beach.

As one should always expect from a Jean Rollin film, The Nude Vampire plays out at its own deliberate, dream-like pace. As a director, Rollin was such a strong visualist that somehow even his film’s lapses in coherence seemed to make a strange sort of sense. If every movie is a dream then who are we to complain when they employ dream logic? As with any Rollin film, The Nude Vampire is not for everyone but fans of Rollin’s unique aesthetic will definitely find much to enjoy.