Once again, I just enjoyed the end of the world vibe. If existence is going to end in the blink of an eye, you might as well go down fighting.
Enjoy!
Tag Archives: review
Lifetime Film Review: Victoria Gotti: My Father’s Daughter (dir by Catherine Cyran)
I have to admit that, for some reason, I’ve always had a weakness of Mafia movies.
For whatever reason, I just find them to be fascinating, as well as terrifically entertaining. And when I say that I love mafia movies, I’m not just talking about the ones that everyone else loves, either. I mean, sure, I love The Godfather films and Goodfellas and all of that. I can’t wait for the Sopranos prequel to come out next year and I’m eagerly counting down the days until The Irishman drops on Netflix. However, I also love the Mafia movies that everyone else seems to hate. Some day, I’m going to get around to writing a stirring defense of Gotti. Just you wait!
I’m half-Irish and fourth-Italian. As far as I know, I don’t have any relatives involved with organized crime and, to be honest, I should probably be offended by all of the Mafia stereotypes that I’m exposed too whenever I turn on the television. But, I have to be honest. If my father had been in the Mafia, I totally would have used it to my advantage. I would have been like, “You think you’re some sort of big shot, like Frankie Valli or somebody? Do you know who my faddah is? You want me to call him down here right now?”
The Lifetime film Victoria Gotti: My Father’s Daughter is all about being the daughter of a very powerful man. Victoria Gotti herself even narrates the film and appears in cut-away scenes to discuss what it was like to grow up as the daughter of notorious mob boss, John Gotti. At the same time, Chelsea Frei plays Victoria in dramatized scenes, showing her talking to her father (Maurice Benard) and dealing with her good-for-nothing husband, Carmine (Elijah Silva). Because the film is told entirely from Victoria’s point of view, we only see John Gotti through her eyes. In this film, John Gotti is a loving father who is often away from his wife and daughters because he’s either in jail or hiding out from the authorities. He’s fond of saying stuff like, “Nothing’s more important than family.” Despite the fact that Maurice Benard gives a convincing performance as Gotti, you’re never quite sure what’s actually going on in his head. Is he a ruthless murderer or is he just a blue collar guy looking out for his family? The film isn’t sure but then again, Victoria seems to be unsure as well. Undoubtedly, someone like John Gotti had to keep a lot of himself hidden away from even those closest to him.
Because of the film’s Victoria-centric structure, we don’t actually get to see any of the standard mafia action. We hear about people getting taken out by the mob but we don’t actually see any of it happen. Those hoping for a big mafia epic will undoubtedly be disappointed. (The film is nearly over before John Gotti even takes over the Gambino Family.) Instead, the film focuses on Victoria dealing with people judging her because of who her father is and her subsequent marriage to the worthless Carmine. To be absolutely honest, there’s really not much going on in the movie, as most of the major action occurs off-screen. However, Chelsea Frei gives a good performance as Victoria and the film occasionally does a good job of contrasting Gotti family life with Gotti crime life. It’s not a classic mob film but it does provide just enough Cosa Nostra swagger to keep the viewer occupied until the release of The Irishman.
Film Review: The King (dir by David Michod)
Imagine a version of Shakespeare’s Henry V where Prince Hal is a lot less regal but a lot more whiny. Also imagine a version where Falstaff is never publicly rejected by Henry but instead becomes one of his leading generals. Furthermore, imagine that Robert Pattinson shows ups and does his best imitation of the obnoxious Frenchmen from Monty Python and The Holy Grail. Also, finally, imagine a film that’s based on three of Shakespeare’s most popular plays but which does’t include any lines from those plays. Imagine all of that and you’ve got The King.
Yes, The King is an odd film indeed. It’s also a very long film. You might expect that from a film based on three Shakespearean plays but, then again, since the film actually doesn’t feature any of Shakespeare’s celebrated language, you have to kind of wonder if it can actually claim to be a Shakespearean adaptation. For instance, if I made a film about a sullen prince named Hamlet but totally leave out “To be or not to be” or the part where he sees his father’s ghost, am I truly adapting Shakespeare or am I just making a film about a guy named Hamlet? Interestingly enough, while The King isn’t faithful to Shakespeare, it’s also not faithful to actual historical records. It’s not Shakespeare and, despite using the name of actual kings and nobles from the 15th Century, it’s not really historical. It could just as easily be about King Kevin and his struggle to lead the Land of Homily to victory over Possum Kingdom. It’s hard to really understand what the point of this film is.
Timothee Chalamet plays Prince Hal, who will eventually become King Henry V. Considering just how acclaimed Chalamet’s previous work has been (including receiving an Oscar nomination for Call Me By Your Name and probably coming close to getting a second one for Beautiful Boy as well), it’s a bit strange just how dull Chalamet is in this film. As played by Chalamet, the future King of England is alternatively petulant and whiny. He’s not happy about becoming king. He’s even less happy about having to behead those who have been accused of conspiring against him. He hopes to avoid war, even after the King of France taunts him by giving him a ball as an coronation present. Chalamet wanders through the film with an eternally glum expression on his face. When he has to rally the troops, he is unpleasantly shrill in a way that will remind viewers of one of Leonardo DiCaprio’s lesser performances.
Joel Edgerton, who also co-wrote the script, is a bit more convincing in the role of Falstaff. Instead of the cowardly (but wise) buffoon who appeared in Shakespeare’s plays, The King portrays Falstaff as being a great warrior who merely likes to drink too much. This, of course, means that Hal doesn’t have to publicly rebuke Falstaff or any of his friends but it also makes Falstaff a bit of a pointless character. In Shakespeare’s plays, both the rebuke of Falstaff and the subsequent hanging of Bardolph were meant to show that the once irresponsible Hal was now placing his role of king above all else. By removing that aspect of the tale, The King also removes the entire heart of the narrative. That said, Edgerton is at least convincing as a warrior.
As usually happens when it comes to British historical epics, the film leads up to an eventual battle between the British and the French. Robert Pattinson plays The Dauphin and gives one of the most brilliantly strange performances of 2019. Wearing a blonde wig and speaking in an exaggerated French accent, Pattison gets all of the dirtiest lines and he has fun with them. (“You have zee big balls,” The Dauphin says at one point, “and zee little cock!”) In fact, Robert Pattinson seems to be the only person in the film having any fun whatsoever. Chalamet looks miserable. Edgerton comes across like a professional. But Pattinson appears to be having the time of his life and you’re happy to see him if just because he provides a (too brief) respite from the film’s otherwise dour atmosphere.
As I said, The King is a strange film. I’m not really sure what the point of it was. The battle scenes are effectively bloody and the sets are all convincingly 15th century. But otherwise, this movie is too pointless and too long. Just because it’s about the 100 Years War doesn’t mean that film has to feel like a 100 hours.
What Lisa Watched This Morning #204: Your Family Or Your Life (a.k.a. April’s Flowers) (dir by Tom Shell)
The morning, I watched the latest Lifetime Movie Network premiere, Your Family Or Your Life!
Why Was I Watching It?
Your Family or Your Life premiered last night on the Lifetime Movie Network but, because it was All Saints’ Day, I spent yesterday with my sisters, singing Shakira songs, not watching anything on television, and basically staying completely offline. However, I did set the DVR because a non-Christmas related Lifetime premiere is going to be a rarity from now through December.
When I got home this morning, I promptly watched Your Family Or Your Life.
What Was It About?
David Meyer (Alexander Carroll) is a former alcoholic who is now a successful attorney. His work has led him to discover some illegal shenanigans concerning Erica Hearns (Angelica Bridges). Hoping to say out of prison, Erica sends Ed (Eric Michael Cole), the world’s most incompetent hitman, to kill David. Ed manages to make David’s death look like a suicide but David’s widow, Kathy (Jennie Garth) is not convinced. For that matter, neither is David’s stepdaughter, April (Luca Bella). Kathy’s best friend, Michelle (Alexandra LeMosle) has some suspicions as well! Like I said, Ed’s not very good at this.
So now, Ed and Erica have to figure out a way to silence all of the people who don’t think that David committed suicide. Fortunately, for them, they’ve got an inside player. Little does April suspect that her boyfriend, Damon (David Gridely), is actually one of Erica’s relatives!
What Worked?
Jennie Garth is just the greatest! Depending on how old you are, you either know her primarily from Beverly Hills 90210 or What I Like About You. This film had a 90210-style plot with a What I Like About You attitude and it was fun to watch Garth do things like beat up a burglar with a baseball bat. Garth brought a lot of energy to her roll.
Angelica Bridges was entertaining as the villain. Her frustration with Ed was wonderfully performed. When she realized that Ed had basically screwed up a very simple murder, I think anyone who has ever been a supervisor could relate to her frustration.
The mother-daughter relationship between Kathy and April felt very realistic, especially when it came to Kathy’s immediate dislike of Damon. That might be because Luca Bella actually is Jennie Garth’s daughter.
What Did Not Work?
I regret that the film made it clear, from the start, that David had been murdered. I would have preferred a more ambiguous approach, one that left you wondering if David actually had been murdered or if maybe Kathy really was just seeing what she wanted to see.
I also regret that the film did NOT feature the following dialogue:
“Your family or your life!”
“I’m thinking about it!”
“Oh my God! Just Like Me!” Moments
I also keep a baseball bat near my bedroom door, just in case I ever have to use it. I don’t think I could wield it as decisively as Jennie Garth does, though.
Lessons Learned
If you’re going to hire a hitman, spend a little extra and get one who is actually good at his job. Otherwise, things just get too complicated.
Music Video of the Day: Illegal by Shakira feat. Santana (2006, dir by Jaume De Laiguana)
And this, my dears, is why you don’t date a boxer. They always end up breaking your heart just as surely as they’ll break the jaws of the opponents. Of course, it’s even worse if you’re dating a boxer who is always losing his fights. For one thing, you can’t go out with him in public because his face is constantly going to be a puffy mess and number two, you don’t ever get invited to kiss him in the ring after his victory.
Though, I have to say, my favorite part of any boxing movie is always seeing what people are wearing to the big fight. Like I remember watching The Fighter and thinking to myself, “She could probably do better than Mickey Ward but Amy Adams’s fight clothes are totally to die for.”
Anyway, in this video, a boxer dates Shakira but he cheats on her with another woman. And then he invites the other woman to come watch him box, which just makes no sense to me. I mean, even if Shakira hadn’t shown up, did he really think it wouldn’t get back to her that he had invited another woman to celebrate with him in the ring? What was he thinking?
Last night, all of the Bowman sisters were gathered together and we may or may not have spent hours singing along to Hips Don’t Lie. So, naturally, today’s music video of the day had to come from Shakira.
Enjoy!
Horror on TV: The Twilight Zone 3.24 “To Serve Man” (dir by Richard L. Bare)
“It’s a cookbook!”
During the month of October, we like to share classic episodes of horror-themed television. That was easier to do when we first started doing our annual October horrorthon here at the Shattered Lens because every single episode of the original, black-and-white Twilight Zone was available on YouTube. Sadly, that’s no longer the case. In fact, there is exactly one episode of the original Twilight Zone on YouTube.
Fortunately, that episode is a classic. In 1962’s To Serve Man, an alien (Richard Kiel) comes to Earth and invites people to return to his home planet with him. He leaves behind a book. When everyone learns that the title of the book is To Serve Man, they excitedly decide that the book must be an instruction manual on how to help mankind. The truth, as we learn in the episode’s classic finale, is something a little bit different.
Here’s the episode! Watch it before YouTube yanks it down.
(This episode originally aired on October 2nd, 1962. It was directed by Richard L. Bare from a script by Rod Serling. It was based on a short story by Damon Knight.)
Enjoy!
International Horror Film Review: Haxan (dir by Benjamin Christensen)
It’s always interesting to watch Haxan with someone who has never seen it before.
Because this Swedish film was made in 1920 and released in 1922, it’s a silent film. Because it’s sold as being a documentary, it can be a bit of a hard sell among people who 1) hate to read subtitles and 2) instantly recoil at the idea of watching anything might be a educational. Even the fact that the film is subtitled “Witchcraft Through The Ages” might not be enough to get some people to set aside their prejudices.
So, what you do is you beg. You offer to give them popcorn and a Coke if they watch the movie. You stretch out on the couch, arch an eyebrow and suggest that there might be another reward waiting for them at the end of the film. You do whatever you have to do and you get them to watch.
Now admittedly, the first part of Haxan does come across as being a bit slow. The intertitles, which explain that this film was made to examine witchcraft throughout the ages, can come across as being a bit dry. The numerous scenes about how people used to think that the universe revolved around the Earth and that stars were merely lights hanging in the sky goes on for quite some time. Personally, I like these scenes. I enjoy the fact that director Benjamin Christensen actually uses a pointer, as if he’s a lecturer at a university. But they’re not for everyone.
But here’s the thing, skeptical viewers: KEEP WATCHING!
Because eventually, the film moves on from discussing ancient and medieval astronomy and it starts to discussing why people used to believe in witches and how witchcraft used to be punished and suddenly …. OH MY GOD, IS THAT THE DEVIL BURSTING UP OUT OF NOWHERE!? Yes, it is. And yes, that woman is buying a love potion and that monk has become possessed and that witch is flying through the air!
Haxan is an interestingly constructed film. At the start of the film, it proudly declares itself to be the work of a skeptic. Haxan is a film that, in its own scholarly way, ridicules superstition. Those who once believed in witchcraft are compared to those who once believed that the world was flat and that the stars revolved around the Earth. And yet, the film’s greatest moments are the ones that feature scenes of witches and the devil. I don’t think this is accidental. Instead, I think that Benjamin Christensen understood what D.W. Griffith, Ceceil B. DeMille, and Roger Corman understood. Audiences may want to pat themselves on the back for being pure or rational or whatever but, at the same time, they also want that taste of sin and the indulgence of superstition. Haxan makes the argument for science but not before indulging in some old time religion.
And it’s a lot of fun. Haxan is such a visually striking film with it’s taunting devils and its flying witches that one can hardly be shocked that it was initially banned in many countries and, even when it was released, it was often in a heavily censored form. Watching the film, you can also understand why it influenced future horror directors. The images are frequently the stuff of nightmares and the fact that the images are silent just makes them all the more ominous.
Haxan is definitely a film that every horror fan needs to see. Luckily, there’s a Criterion edition for that! Oh Criterion. What would we do without you?
Horror Film Review: Cujo (dir by Lewis Teague)
Cujo is a such a depressing movie that I can barely stand to watch it.
Cujo, of course, is the 1983 film adaptation of the book by Stephen King. The book is about a dog that not only gets bit by a rabid bat but also gets possessed by the spirit of Frank Dodd, the serial killer who played a major role in The Dead Zone. The film abandons the subplot about Frank Dodd and, instead, it just deals with a rabid dog that kills a lot of people and who eventually traps Donna Trentonn (Dee Wallace) and her young son, Tad (Danny Pintauro), is a car for several days.
I have to admit that I’m really not the sort of person who should be watching a film like Cujo in the first place. When I was growing up, I was terrified of dogs. According to my family, I was bitten by one when I was just three years old, not that I have any memory of that actually happening. So, up until I was 18, I couldn’t handle being around them. Whenever I would walk home from school, I would run across the street if I heard a dog barking at me from behind a fence. If I was out with my family and I saw a dog approaching, I would hide behind the nearest big person.
I did have one good experience with a big dog when I was about ten years old. My family was up at the lake and this big, black dog started following us around and it was so friendly that I couldn’t help but relax around it. My mom was like, “See, Lisa Marie, not all dogs are bad.” We went to get lunch, leaving the dog behind. When we returned, the dog was there. He was excited to see my mom. He was excited to my aunt. He was excited to see my sisters. Then, he took one look at me and started to growl. I was frozen in fear, just standing there as the dog slowly stood up. My mom immediately stood in front of me, trying to block the dog’s view while I ran back to car. Of course, that didn’t work. The dog started barking and then took off running after me. His owners then showed up and grabbed the dog just as it was about to lunge at me and then they didn’t even bother to apologize! Instead, they told some story about how some other girl had thrown a rock at the dog and, as a result, the dog always growled at “little girls.” They acted like it was no big deal. (My aunt later told me that she had to grab my mom’s hand to keep her from slapping the dog’s owner when they tried to blame me for what happened.) For months afterwards, I had nightmares about that dog.
Fortunately, enough time has passed that I’m no longer petrified in fear of dogs though they still make pretty damn nervous. That said, Cujo, with its growling and killer dog, is exactly the type of film that’s designed to prey on my deepest fears. And yes, the movie does scare me but I have to admit that I don’t really care much about the people who get killed by Cujo. Instead …. I feel bad for Cujo. Yes, even though Cujo scares me to death and I’m not a dog person in general, this movie depresses me specifically because of what happens to the dog.
When we first see him, Cujo is happily chasing a rabbit. When he gets bitten by a rabid bat, he whimpers a little and I have to say that it breaks my heart to hear it. I mean, Cujo is just such a cute dog! And, to be honest, he seems like the type of big dog who maybe could have convinced me that not all dogs are bad. (There’s a part of me that really wishes that I could relax and love dogs as much as everyone else does.) But then he gets bitten by that bat and poor Cujo! Rabies is a terrible disease.
Cujo is a good, straight-forward horror film, one that gets the job done without all of the padding and blather that you sometimes have to deal with when it comes to Stephen King film adaptations. (Thankfully, nobody casually talks about Shawshank Prison or taking a trip to Derry or any of that other nonsense that seems to come up in most King films.) Dee Wallace gives a good performance as Donna Trenton, who is trapped in the car and desperate to save her child. King has said that he felt Wallace deserved an Oscar nomination for her performance and he’s probably right
But my God, I just cannot watch this movie without crying afterwards. I just feel so bad for that dog.
Horror on the Lens: Night of the Living Dead (dir by George Romero)
Happy Halloween everyone!
Well, as another horrorthon draws to a close, it’s time for another Shattered Lens tradition! Every Halloween, we share one of the greatest and most iconic horror films ever made. For your Halloween enjoyment, here is George Romero’s Night of the Living Dead!
(Be sure to read Arleigh’s equally famous review!)
Cleaning Out The DVR: Get Over It (dir by Tommy O’Haver)
“I wouldn’t play with that, Kelly,” Berke Landers (Ben Foster) says as Kelly Woods (Kirsten Dunst) playfully aims a crossbow at him.
Kelly laughs and tells him that it’s just a prop.
Berke suggests again that she should probably stop aiming it at him.
Kelly laughs and proceeds to fire an arrow straight into Berke’s arm.
The next scene, of course, is Berke in the back of an ambulance, groaning in terrible pain while Kelly apologizes and a paramedic repeatedly warns Berke not to look at his arm. In most movies, that would seem like a pretty dramatic plot development and, at the very least, you would expect that Berke would try to avoid Kelly and perhaps have his arm in a sling for the rest of the film. In the 2001 film, Get Over it, Berke recovers rather quickly, he and Kelly fall in love, and the film ends with Kelly making a joke about how she thought the crossbow was a prop.
That’s just the type of film that Get Over It is. This is a film from the age when all teen comedies were very loosely based on Shakespeare and they usually had a three word name like She’s All That or Drive Me Crazy or …. well, Get Over It. Ben Foster has the type of role that would usually go to Freddie Prinze, Jr. Sisqo has the Usher rule of the supercool sidekick who raps over the end credits. Shane West speaks with a British accent and steps into the Matthew Lillard role of the obnoxious teen celebrity. Melissa Sagemiller is the girl who the main guy thinks he’s in love with while Martin Short plays the eccentric and overdramatic theater teacher. And finally, Kirsten Dunst gets to play another version of her Bring It On role as the quirky and perky girl who wants to do the right thing. Meanwhile, Zoe Saldana, Mila Kunis, Colin Hanks, Swoosie Kurtz, and Ed Begley, Jr. all have small parts. It’s a good cast, if nothing else.
Get Over It centers around a high school production of a musical version of A Midsummer’s Night Dream. Basketball star Berke auditions for the play because he thinks that it will convince his ex-girlfriend, Alison (Sagemiller) to take him back. Instead, Alison ends up falling for the duplicitous Striker Scrumfeld (West), who has the exact type of personality that you would expect someone named Striker Scrumfeld to have. Meanwhile, Berke is falling in love with Kelly, who is the sister of his friend, Felix (Colin Hanks).
It’s all very predictable but, at the same time, the cast is absolutely charming and there’s enough quirky humor to make it memorable. I’ve watched Get Over It several times and, every time that I rewatch it, I’m always a little bit surprised to rediscover just how funny it actually is. For instance, as Berke leaves Alison’s house after being dumped by her, Vitamin C and a marching band suddenly appear behind him and start to perform Love Will Keep Us Together until Berke finally loses it and starts screaming. The musical production of A Midsummer’s Night Dream is the perfect parody of every pretentious high school play ever produced and Martin Short cheerfully throws himself into being the director for Hell. Ben Foster is a bit too intense to be a romantic or, for that matter, comedic leading man but the rest of the cast is enjoyably laid back and fully embrace their quirky roles.
Get Over It may not be a classic but it is a fun 90 minutes.
Through the Shattered Lens 