“I’ll show you a pair of Golden Globes!”


The Golden Globes nominations were announced today and, as usual, they were a strange combination of the expected nominees and a few that seem to have literally come out of thin air.  (Check out that Best Picture nomination for The Tourist.)  The Golden Globes are awarded by the Hollywood Foreign Press Association, an organization that seems to be about as shadowy and obscure as an Illumnati splinter group.  That said, I’ve always wanted to be nominated for Golden Globe just so I could get in front of a tv camera, thrust out my boobs, and say, “I’ll show you a pair of Golden Globes!” 

Anyway, as I looked over the nominations earlier today, three things came to mind.

First off, the Walking Dead was nominated for Best Dramatic Television Series.  Yay!

Secondly, I was kinda hoping that Noomi Rapace might be able to sneak in as one of the Best Actress nominees.  There is a small campaign going on to win her an Oscar nomination for The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo and she was nominated for best actress by yet another shadowy group, the Broadcast Film Critics.  Unfortunately, a Golden Globe nod was not to be. 

Third, I was a little bit surprised to discover that Toy Story 3 was not nominated for Best Picture (Comedy).  In the past, the Hollywood Foreign Press has been far more willing than the Academy to nominate animated films and Toy Story 3 seemed like a far more likely choice than The Tourist.  In fact, not even the film’s theme song picked up a nomination.  Of course, Toy Story 3 did pick up a nomination for best animated film but I still wonder if maybe this could be evidence of a Toy Story 3 backlash.  Up until a week ago, I would have said that Toy Story 3 is guaranteed an Oscar nomination for best picture.  Now, I’m starting to have my doubts.

Anyway, here’s the nominees (taken from the Hollywood Foreign Press Association web site):

  • BEST MOTION PICTURE – DRAMA
    1. BLACK SWAN
      Protozoa Pictures & Cross Creek Pictures & Phoenix; Fox Searchlight Pictures
    2. THE FIGHTER
      Paramount Pictures and Relativity Media; Paramount Pictures and Relativity Media
    3. INCEPTION
      Warner Bros. Pictures UK LTD.; Warner Bros. Pictures
    4. THE KING’S SPEECH
      See-Saw Films and Bedlam Productions; The Weinstein Company
    5. THE SOCIAL NETWORK
      Columbia Pictures; Sony Pictures Releasing
  • BEST PERFORMANCE BY AN ACTRESS IN A MOTION PICTURE – DRAMA
    1. HALLE BERRY FRANKIE AND ALICE
    2. NICOLE KIDMAN RABBIT HOLE
    3. JENNIFER LAWRENCE WINTER’S BONE
    4. NATALIE PORTMAN BLACK SWAN
    5. MICHELLE WILLIAMS BLUE VALENTINE
  • BEST PERFORMANCE BY AN ACTOR IN A MOTION PICTURE – DRAMA
    1. JESSE EISENBERG THE SOCIAL NETWORK
    2. COLIN FIRTH THE KING’S SPEECH
    3. JAMES FRANCO 127 HOURS
    4. RYAN GOSLING BLUE VALENTINE
    5. MARK WAHLBERG THE FIGHTER
  • BEST MOTION PICTURE – COMEDY OR MUSICAL
    1. ALICE IN WONDERLAND
      Walt Disney Pictures; Walt Disney Studios Motion Pictures
    2. BURLESQUE
      Screen Gems; Sony Pictures Releasing
    3. THE KIDS ARE ALL RIGHT
      Antidote Films, Mandalay Vision, Gilbert Films; Focus Features
    4. RED
      di Bonaventura Pictures; Summit Entertainment
    5. THE TOURIST
      GK Films; Sony Pictures Releasing
  • BEST PERFORMANCE BY AN ACTRESS IN A MOTION PICTURE – COMEDY OR MUSICAL
    1. ANNETTE BENING THE KIDS ARE ALL RIGHT
    2. ANNE HATHAWAY LOVE AND OTHER DRUGS
    3. ANGELINA JOLIE THE TOURIST
    4. JULIANNE MOORE THE KIDS ARE ALL RIGHT
    5. EMMA STONE EASY A
  • BEST PERFORMANCE BY AN ACTOR IN A MOTION PICTURE – COMEDY OR MUSICAL
    1. JOHNNY DEPP ALICE IN WONDERLAND
    2. JOHNNY DEPP THE TOURIST
    3. PAUL GIAMATTI BARNEY’S VERSION
    4. JAKE GYLLENHAAL LOVE AND OTHER DRUGS
    5. KEVIN SPACEY CASINO JACK
  • BEST ANIMATED FEATURE FILM
    1. DESPICABLE ME
      Universal Pictures, Illumination Entertainment; Universal Pictures
    2. HOW TO TRAIN YOUR DRAGON
      DreamWorks Animation; Paramount Pictures
    3. THE ILLUSIONIST
      Django Films, Ciné B and France 3 Cinéma; Sony Pictures Classics
    4. TANGLED
      Walt Disney Animation Studios; Walt Disney Studios Motion Pictures
    5. TOY STORY 3
      Disney * Pixar; Walt Disney Studios Motion Pictures
  • BEST FOREIGN LANGUAGE FILM
    1. BIUTIFUL (MEXICO/SPAIN)

      Menageatroz, Focus Features International; Roadside Attractions

    2. THE CONCERT (FRANCE)

      An Oï Oï Oï Productions, Les Productions Du Tresor, France 3 Cinema, Europacorp, Castel Films, Panache Productions, RTBF (Belgian Television), BIM Distrubuzione Co., Canal +, Cinecinema and France 3; The Weinstein Company

    3. THE EDGE (Kpaй) (RUSSIA)

      Teleshow/Rock Films; Central Partnership (Russia)

    4. I AM LOVE (IO SONO L’AMORE) (ITALY)

      First Sun; Magnolia Pictures

    5. IN A BETTER WORLD (Hævnen) (DENMARK)

      Zentropa Entertainment; Sony Pictures Classics

  • BEST PERFORMANCE BY AN ACTRESS IN A SUPPORTING ROLE IN A MOTION PICTURE
    1. AMY ADAMS THE FIGHTER
    2. HELENA BONHAM CARTER THE KING’S SPEECH
    3. MILA KUNIS BLACK SWAN
    4. MELISSA LEO THE FIGHTER
    5. JACKI WEAVER ANIMAL KINGDOM
  • BEST PERFORMANCE BY AN ACTOR IN A SUPPORTING ROLE IN A MOTION PICTURE
    1. CHRISTIAN BALE THE FIGHTER
    2. MICHAEL DOUGLAS WALL STREET: MONEY NEVER SLEEPS
    3. ANDREW GARFIELD THE SOCIAL NETWORK
    4. JEREMY RENNER THE TOWN
    5. GEOFFREY RUSH THE KING’S SPEECH
  • BEST DIRECTOR – MOTION PICTURE
    1. DARREN ARONOFSKY BLACK SWAN
    2. DAVID FINCHER THE SOCIAL NETWORK
    3. TOM HOOPER THE KING’S SPEECH
    4. CHRISTOPHER NOLAN INCEPTION
    5. DAVID O. RUSSELL THE FIGHTER
  • BEST SCREENPLAY – MOTION PICTURE
    1. DANNY BOYLE, SIMON BEAUFOY 127 HOURS
    2. LISA CHOLODENKO, STUART BLUMBERG THE KIDS ARE ALL RIGHT
    3. CHRISTOPHER NOLAN INCEPTION
    4. DAVID SEIDLER THE KING’S SPEECH
    5. AARON SORKIN THE SOCIAL NETWORK
  • BEST ORIGINAL SCORE – MOTION PICTURE
    1. ALEXANDRE DESPLAT THE KING’S SPEECH
    2. DANNY ELFMAN ALICE IN WONDERLAND
    3. A.R. RAHMAN 127 HOURS
    4. TRENT REZNOR, ATTICUS ROSS THE SOCIAL NETWORK
    5. HANS ZIMMER INCEPTION
  • BEST ORIGINAL SONG – MOTION PICTURE
    1. “BOUND TO YOU” — BURLESQUE
      Music by: Samuel Dixon
      Lyrics by: Christina Aguilera, Sia Furler
    2. “COMING HOME” — COUNTRY STRONG
      Music & Lyrics by: Bob DiPiero, Tom Douglas, Hillary Lindsey, Troy Verges
    3. “I SEE THE LIGHT” — TANGLED
      Music by: Alan Menken
      Lyrics by: Glenn Slater
    4. “THERE’S A PLACE FOR US” — CHRONICLES OF NARNIA: THE VOYAGE OF THE DAWN TREADER
      Music & Lyrics by: Carrie Underwood, David Hodges, Hillary Lindsey
    5. “YOU HAVEN’T SEEN THE LAST OF ME” — BURLESQUE
      Music & Lyrics by: Diane Warren
  • BEST TELEVISION SERIES – DRAMA
    1. OARDWALK EMPIRE (HBO)
      Leverage, Closest to the Hole Productions, Sikelia Productions and Cold Front Productions, HBO Entertainment
    2. DEXTER (SHOWTIME)
      Showtime, John Goldwyn Productions, The Colleton Company
    3. THE GOOD WIFE (CBS)
      CBS Television Studios
    4. MAD MEN (AMC)
      Lionsgate Television
    5. THE WALKING DEAD (AMC)
      AMC
  • BEST PERFORMANCE BY AN ACTRESS IN A TELEVISION SERIES – DRAMA
    1. JULIANNA MARGULIES THE GOOD WIFE
    2. ELISABETH MOSS MAD MEN
    3. PIPER PERABO COVERT AFFAIRS
    4. KATEY SAGAL SONS OF ANARCHY
    5. KYRA SEDGWICK THE Closer
  • BEST PERFORMANCE BY AN ACTOR IN A TELEVISION SERIES – DRAMA
    1. STEVE BUSCEMI BOARDWALK EMPIRE
    2. BRYAN CRANSTON BREAKING BAD
    3. MICHAEL C. HALL DEXTER
    4. JON HAMM MAD MEN
    5. HUGH LAURIE HOUSE
  • BEST TELEVISION SERIES – COMEDY OR MUSICAL
    1. 30 ROCK (NBC)
      Universal Media Studios in association with Broadway Video and Little
      Stranger Inc.
    2. THE BIG BANG THEORY (CBS)
      Warner Bros. Television
    3. THE BIG C (SHOWTIME)
      Showtime, Sony Pictures Television, Perkins Street Productions, Farm Kid, Original Film
    4. GLEE (FOX)
      Ryan Murphy Television, Twentieth Century Fox Television
    5. MODERN FAMILY (ABC)
      Twentieth Century Fox Television
    6. NURSE JACKIE (SHOWTIME)
      Showtime, Lionsgate Television, Jackson Group Entertainment, Madison Grain Elevator, Inc. & Delong Lumber, Caryn Mandabach Productions
  • EST PERFORMANCE BY AN ACTRESS IN A TELEVISION SERIES –COMEDY OR MUSICAL
    1. TONI COLLETTE UNITED STATES OF TARA
    2. EDIE FALCO NURSE JACKIE
    3. TINA FEY 30 ROCK
    4. LAURA LINNEY THE BIG C
    5. LEA MICHELE GLEE
  • BEST PERFORMANCE BY AN ACTOR IN A TELEVISION SERIES – COMEDY OR MUSICAL
    1. ALEC BALDWIN 30 ROCK
    2. STEVE CARELL THE OFFICE
    3. THOMAS JANE HUNG
    4. MATTHEW MORRISON GLEE
    5. JIM PARSONS THE BIG BANG THEORY
  • BEST MINI-SERIES OR MOTION PICTURE MADE FOR TELEVISION
    1. CARLOS (SUNDANCE CHANNEL)
      Film En Stock and Egoli Tossell Film, Sundance Channel
    2. THE PACIFIC (HBO)
      Playtone and DreamWorks in association with HBO Films
    3. PILLARS OF THE EARTH (STARZ)
      Starz, Tandem Communications, Muse Entertainment Scott Free Films
    4. TEMPLE GRANDIN (HBO)
      A Ruby Films, Gerson Saines Production, HBO Films
    5. YOU DON’T KNOW JACK (HBO)
      Bee Holder, Cine Mosaic and Levinson/Fontana Productions, HBO Films
  • BEST PERFORMANCE BY AN ACTRESS IN A MINI-SERIES OR MOTION PICTURE MADE FOR TELEVISION
    1. HAYLEY ATWELL PILLARS OF THE EARTH
    2. CLAIRE DANES TEMPLE GRANDIN
    3. JUDI DENCH RETURN TO CRANFORD
    4. ROMOLA GARAI EMMA
    5. JENNIFER LOVE HEWITT THE CLIENT LIST
  • BEST PERFORMANCE BY AN ACTOR IN A MINI-SERIES OR MOTION PICTURE MADE FOR TELEVISION
    1. IDRIS ELBA LUTHER
    2. IAN MCSHANE PILLARS OF THE EARTH
    3. AL PACINO YOU DON’T KNOW JACK
    4. DENNIS QUAID THE SPECIAL RELATIONSHIP
    5. EDGAR RAMIREZ CARLOS
  • BEST PERFORMANCE BY AN ACTRESS IN A SUPPORTING ROLE IN A SERIES, MINI-SERIES OR MOTION PICTURE MADE FOR TELEVISION
    1. HOPE DAVIS THE SPECIAL RELATIONSHIP
    2. JANE LYNCH GLEE
    3. KELLY MACDONALD BOARDWALK EMPIRE
    4. JULIA STILES DEXTER
    5. SOFIA VERGARA MODERN FAMILY
  • BEST PERFORMANCE BY AN ACTOR IN A SUPPORTING ROLE IN A SERIES, MINI-SERIES OR MOTION PICTURE MADE FOR TELEVISION
    1. SCOTT CAAN HAWAII FIVE-O
    2. CHRIS COLFER GLEE
    3. CHRIS NOTH THE GOOD WIFE
    4. ERIC STONESTREET MODERN FAMILY
    5. DAVID STRATHAIRN TEMPLE GRANDIN
  • The New York Toadsuckers Have Spoken


    As I mentioned in my last post, the New York Film Critics Circle voted on and announced their picks for the best films of the year today.  Looking over the winners, all I can say is — YAWN!

    Best Film:
    The Social Network

    Best Director:
    David Fincher, The Social Network

    Best Screenplay:
    The Kids Are All Right

    Best Actress:
    Annette Bening, The Kids Are All Right

    Best Actor:
    Colin Firth, The King’s Speech

    Best Supporting Actress:
    Melissa Leo, The Fighter

    Best Supporting Actor:
    Mark Ruffalo, The Kids Are All Right

    Best Cinematography:
    Black Swan

    Best Animated Film:
    The Illusionist

    Best Non-fiction Film:
    Inside Job

    Best Foreign Language Film:
    Carlos

    Best First Feature:
    Animal Kingdom

    Over on Awardsdaily.com, the response to the New York Critics was: “NO ONE  wrote a better screenplay than Aaron Sorkin this year.” 

    (And yes, they specifically put that statement in bold print with NO ONE capitalized, just to make sure that the point came through.)

    Really?  NO ONE?  It’s time to admit the truth — The Social Network has gone from being a movie to being a cult.  Apparently, even suggesting that any other movie might deserve an honor or two this year is an act of heresy.  Sorry, New York Film Critics.  Prepare yourself to be eaten by lions while the Sorkinites watch and cheer.

    That said, the screenplay for The Kids Are All Right had all the depth of a sitcom.  And Mark Ruffalo’s supporting performance was good but nothing that couldn’t have been done by just about any other scruffy actor in Hollywood.  And while Annette Bening did a good job with her role, this is the year of Natalie Portman in Black Swan, Noomi Rapace in The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo, Katie Jarvis in Fish Tank, and Jennifer Lawrence in Winter’s Bone.  This was a year in which so many actresses gave unique, unexpected performances in roles that redefined the stereotypical cinematic female lead.  Annette Bening was good but so many were great.

    It’s also interesting to note that The Illusionist (which I haven’t seen and know very little about) was named best animated feature as opposed to the presumed favorite, Toy Story 3.  Just a few months ago, the general assumption seemed to be that Toy Story 3 would easily pick up a best picture nod but it seems like that storyline’s been forgotten in all the hype surrounding The Social Network.

    10 Things To Be Thankful For In 2010


    It’s the Thanksgiving season, that time when bloggers everywhere come up with lists of things that they are thankful for.  Here’s just 10 of the many things that I’ve been thankful for in 2010.

    1) The fifth season of Dexter

    I have to be honest.  I’ve been a fan of Dexter since the show’s 1st season but I wasn’t sure if the show would be able to survive after the fourth season ended with Rita (Julie Benz) dead in a bloody bathtub.  However, season 5 has been a triumph.  Yes, a little too much time has been devoted to the domestic troubles of LaGuerta and Batista (Lauren Velez and the always intriguing David Zayas) but Michael C. Hall (as Dexter) and Jennifer Carpenter (as Deb) have done some of their best work this season.  Even better, this season has featured two brilliant performances from guest stars Peter Weller and, especially, Julia Stiles (who really deserves her own spin-off).  Still, you have to wonder if any murder has ever actually been solved in Miami…

    2) Noomi Rapace as Lisbeth Salander. 

    In three films — The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo, The Girl Who Played With Fire, and The Girl Who Kicked The Hornet’s Nest, Rapace created one of the first truly iconic film characters of the 21st century and that’s an accomplishment that will stand regardless of any attempts by the Hollywood mainstream to steal her accomplishment through any unnecessary remakes. 

    3) Lost

    As more time has passed, the more I’ve come to admit just how dissatisfied I was with how the creators of Lost decided to end their show.  Still, that doesn’t change the fact that, for several years, I scheduled my life around when the next episode of Lost was going to air.  I may not be thankful for a series finale that left way too many questions unanswered (why couldn’t children be born on the island?  What was the sickness?) but even the final season featured some of the show’s best moments.

    4) The Walking Dead

    I’m not a huge fan of Frank Darabont (sorry, but The Shawshank Redemption sucks) but I’m happy to say that he didn’t fuck up The Walking Dead.

    5) Kathryn Bigelow broke the glass ceiling.

    I’m still not a huge fan of The Hurt Locker but I am definitely a fan of Kathryn Bigelow.  As bad as this year’s Oscar ceremony was, it was worth watching just to see Bigelow become the first woman to ever win an Oscar for best director.  In many ways, it almost felt like a fantasy come to life — not only did Bigelow win a historic victory but she did it by beating her ex, James Cameron (who, to judge from his films, has never met a woman to whom he wouldn’t condescend).  The fact that she then gave one of the only genuine acceptance speeches of the entire ceremony was a wonderful bonus.

    6) Blue Valentine was rated NC-17.

    The upcoming film Blue Valentine (which I have yet to see) was reportedly given an NC-17 rating on account of scenes featuring Ryan Gosling and Michelle Williams having sex.  That the film would feature characters played Gosling and Williams having sex makes sense when you consider that the movie is specifically about their marriage.  However, despite this, Blue Valentine was rated NC-17 while films like The Expendables, A Nightmare on Elm Street, the Saw films — in which thousands of people are graphically killed and tortured on-screen — are given an R rating as a matter of routine.  If Blue Valentine had been about Ryan Gosling murdering Michelle Williams (as opposed to fucking her), the film probably would have an R rating and would be considered appropriate viewing in malls across America.  I’m thankful for this rating because it serves as a reminder that it’s okay to show a woman being humiliated, tortured, or killed just as long as you don’t show her actually enjoying an orgasm.

    7) Exit Through The Gift Shop

    The rest of you mainstreamers can talk about how much you love the Social Network for the rest of eternity, if you want.  Exit Through The Gift Shop is still the best movie of 2010.

    8 ) Lisa Marie finally figured out how to work her DVR.

    Yes, yes, I know.  DVR has been around like forever and it’s all old news and I’m sure there’s something even better than DVR that everyone but me is raving about and using right now but — look, shut up, okay?  Yes, I’ve had DVR forever but I just figured out how to actually make it work a few months ago.  And I love it!  Now, if I want to sit down in the living room at 3 in the morning and watch old episodes of Project Runway, there’s no way anyone can stop me.

    9) Joseph Gordon-Levitt floating through a dream hallway in Inception

    Inception was a film full of excellent set pieces and memorable images but whenever I think about the movie, I will always see Joseph Gordon-Levitt floating through that hallway in a suit and looking rather adorable as he does it.

    10) Cthulhu on South Park

    Well, of course.

    That’s just ten things I’m thankful for and I didn’t even start to talk about Scott Caan on Hawaii 5-0, James Franco in 127 Hours, or movies like Fish Tank, Winter’s Bone, and Never Let Me Go.  What are you thankful for?  Leave a comment, let the world know.  The best comment wins a renewed sense of peace and a happy new year.  (Please note that this is not a legally binding document.)

    For Your Oscar Consideration


    It’s November and that means that we have now officially entered Oscar season.  For the next two months, movies specifically designed to win awards will be released in theaters across America.  Movies like Fair Game, The King’s Speech, True Grit, For Colored Girls, Another Year, and 127 Hours will be presented for “your consideration,” as they always put it in the Oscar ads.  Don’t get me wrong, I’m looking forward to seeing quite a few of those films.  Fair Game looks like its going to be a bit of a pain (seriously, Sean Penn, it’s great you were right about Iraq and all but get over yourself)  and For Colored Girls seems like it’ll be one of those films that people are scared to admit disliking.  However, The King’s Speech looks like it might be a funny and sweet little movie and  127 Hours looks like it might be the film that proves that James Franco is a major hottie who could use and abuse me in any way he…uhmm, sorry, where was I?  Oh yeah — Oscar season!

    The unfortunate thing about Oscar season is that often it seems that movies that were released before the end of the year are either totally forgotten or only given a few sympathy nods.  So, here’s my personal list of a few contenders that, though released pre-Oscar season, I think are just as deserving of consideration as Fair Game.

    1) Best Picture — Exit Through The Gift Shop

    People either love this film or they hate it.  I love it.  I think it’s a great mindfuck and, as of now, it’s my favorite film of 2010.  In a perfect world, it would not only be the first documentary to be nominated for best picture but the first one to win as well.  Unfortunately, the Mainstream hates having its mind fucked.  Which is why I say — Grindhouse Victory for Exit Through The Gift Shop!

    2) Best Picture — Animal Kingdom

    This grim yet compelling Australian crime thriller plays like an unromanticized version of The Town, which is probably why it will be no where to be seen once the nominations are announced.  Animal Kingdom also features award worthy work from actors Jacki Weaver, Ben Mendelsohn, Guy Pearce, and director David Michod.

    3) Best Picture — Scott Pilgrim Vs. The World

    Yes, it crashed and burned at the box office and it’s been the victim of an anti-Michael Cera backlash but Scott Pilgrim Vs. The World was one of the best and most original films of the summer.  If the best movies succeed by creating their own unique worlds, then Scott Pilgrim Vs. The World deserves to be recognized as one of the best.

    4) Best Picture — Never Let Me Go

    Mark Romanek’s low-key but affecting adaption of Kazou Ishiguro’s award-winning novel takes a familiar Sci-Fi plot — clones are raised in seclusion so that their organs can eventually be harvested — and turns it into a haunting meditation on life, death, love, and fate.  Carey Mulligan, who deserved the Oscar last year for An Education, holds the film together with quiet strength while Kiera Knightley and Andrew Garfield make the most of the more showy supporting roles.

    5) Best Actor — Patrick Fabian, The Last Exorcism

    Yes, Fabian will never be nominated because The Last Exorcism was a box office flop, a horror film, and it had an ending that generated a lot of negative word of mouth.  However, I believe that Fabian gave the best performance of the year (so far) in this film.  One reason why that over-the-top ending upset so many viewers was because Fabian had kept the film so grounded in reality that the sudden appearance of the supernatural almost felt like a betrayal.  Incidentally, I think that Fabian’s performance was meant to be an homage to former child evangelist Marjoe Gortner.  (And yes, I realize that’s like the 100th time I’ve casually mentioned Marjoe Gortner on this site.  It doesn’t mean anything.  Or does it?)

    6) Best Actress — Noomi Rapace, The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo

    The Mainstream has pretty much already declared Annette Bening to be the winner for her work in The Kids Are All Right but the Grindhouse knows that 2010 was the year of The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo.

    7) Best Actress — Katie Jarvis, Fish Tank

    Fish Tank probably played too early in the year to be properly remembered by the Academy but that doesn’t change the fact that it’s one of the best films of the year.  Playing an angry but naive British teen, Katie Jarvis gives a fearlessly vulnerable performance.  Just consider the harrowing scene where, after kidnapping her older lover’s daughter, she realizes what a mistake she’s made.

    8 ) Best Supporting Actor — John Hawkes, Winter’s Bone

    While I hope Winter’s Bone, at the very least, receives nominations for best picture, best actress for Jennifer Lawrence, and a best director nod for Debra Granik, I fear that John Hawkes will be forgotten.  That’s a shame because Hawkes, arguably, gives the strongest performance in the film.  As Lawrence’s drug addicted uncle, Hawkes is both scary and heroic.  If Lawrence represents hope for the future, Hawkes epitomizes the doom of the present.

    9) Best Supporting Actress — Chloe Grace Moretz, Kick-Ass

    If Moretz is nominated, it’ll probably be for her performance in Let Me In.  However, good as she was in that film, I think her performance in Kick-Ass is even better.  Playing the controversial character of Hit-Girl, Moretz was the film’s foul-mouthed, borderline-psychotic heart.

    10) Best Cinematography — Twelve

    Yes, Twelve is a dire film that manages to turn a good book into a silly melodrama but the movie is gorgeous to look at.

    11) Best Original Score — Machete

    As performed by the band Chingon (which features the film’s director, Robert Rodriguez, on guitar), Machete’s score was much like the film itself: over-the-top, shameless, and a lot of fun.   In much the same way that Hans Zimmer’s score made you believe in the world of Inception, Machete’s score literally forces the viewer into the proper Grindhouse mindset.

    12) Best Original Song — “Pimps Don’t Cry” from The Other Guys

    Oh, why not?

    13) Best Feature-Length Documentary — Best Worst Movie

    A charming documentary about the making of that infamous film, Troll 2, Best Worst Movie is also a look at how a movie can be so amazingly bad that it eventually becomes a beloved classic.

    14) Best Animated Feature — A Town Called Panic 

    This surreal, French, stop-motion film only played for a week down here in Dallas and I nearly didn’t get to see it.  I’m glad I did because, seriously, this movie — oh my God.  The best description I’ve heard of it comes from Empire Magazine where it was referred to as being “Toy Story on absinthe.”  Of course, since apparently California can’t even handle legalized weed, it’s probably hoping too much that they’ll be willing to drink the absinthe.

    As just a sidenote, isn’t the poster for A Town Called Panic just adorable?  I swear, just looking at it makes me feel happy.

    Rooney Mara as Lisbeth Salander?


    It’s official.  The role of Lisbeth Salander in the thoroughly unnecessary and borderline insulting American remake of The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo will be played by Rooney Mara.

    It’s hard for me to say how I feel about this casting.  When I first heard about it, my initial thought was, “Who’s that and how could she be better suited for the role than Jena Malone?”  However, after talking to Arleigh, I realized that I actually do know Rooney Mara.  She was the lead in another remake, this year’s Nightmare on Elm Street.  In that movie, Mara was a likable presence but she was no Lisbeth.  Then again, woman like Lisbeth Salander — independent women who refuse to be solely defined as either a good virgin or a bad whore — don’t appear in slasher films.  What is important is that Mara has proven she can carry a film.  She hasn’t proven that she can carry The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo.

    Then again, considering just how iconic a figure as Lisbeth has become (both in the original novel and in the original film) it’s probably for the best that director David Fincher went with an unknown.  Rooney appears to be a talented young actress but she’s got a very difficult job ahead of her.

    It’s probably not a coincidence that Rooney also has a small role in Fincher’s upcoming film, The Social Network (which is going to suck, by the way).  It’s possible that Fincher saw something in Rooney that she hasn’t been allowed to show the rest of the world.  Me, I’m just happy that if there is going to be an American version of Lisbeth Salander, at least she’s going to be played by an Irish-American.  At heart, Lisbeth is as Irish as a Swede can get.

    (Though again, the ideal Irish-American to play Lisbeth would have been and still is Jena Malone.)

    As I’ve stated before, I have mixed feelings about the remake of the Girl With The Dragon Tattoo.  (And yes, it is a remake regardless of what they’re saying over at Awardsdaily.com.)  On the one hand, the entire literary Millenium Trilogy (of which The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo was the 1st part) is one of the best recent works of pop cultural fiction.  Lisbeth Salander is destined to be an iconic noir figure.  On a personal note, even though she’s ultimately just a fictional character, she is a fictional character who has provided a great deal of strength and hope to abuse survivors (such as myself).  When we read about her and her refusal to allow herself to be victimized or to be dependent on even as well-meaning a man as Mikael Blomkvist, the book’s nominal hero, Lisbeth Salander becomes the vehicle for our own wish-fulfillment fantasies.  She is a character who transcends the page to become a role model in real life as well.  In many ways, she is the 21st century version of Scarlett O’Hara.  Scarlett gave hope to aging Southern belles.  Lisbeth gives hope to bipolar neurotics like me.  And much as everyone couldn’t wait to see Scarlett on-screen, a lot of us couldn’t wait to see Lisbeth on-screen.

    And that is the biggest hurdle that director David Fincher and Rooney Mara are going to face with this much-hyped remake of The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo.  We’ve already seen Libseth onscreen and, in our mind’s eye, she’s not Rooney Mara.  Instead, she’s Noomi Rapace.  Both Fincher and Mara have a difficult task ahead of them.  Not only do they have to meet the expectations of the people who have read the original novel, they have to exceed the expectations of the people who have seen the original Swedish film.

    And that, to me, is the issue that is being avoided, the proverbial Elephant in the room.  For all the wannabe, internet-based film critics who are currently gleefully devouring any crumbs of information concerning Fincher’s production, nobody has yet to answer the question as to why this film needs to be made at all?  (Beyond the obvious fact that there’s money to be made…) 

    I found it interesting that, at the end of the EW article concerning Mara’s casting, it is mentioned that the film is set to begin filming in Sweden.  Why exactly?  Hasn’t a film about a girl with a dragon tattoo who helps a smug journalist investigate a disappearance in Sweden already been made?  It would seem that the “American version” has little to offer beyond offering up a fantasy Sweden where everyone speaks English and those viewing the film are freed from having to try to read subtitles and rattle their jumbo tubs of popcorn at the same time.  Or are we just sending David Fincher over to Sweden because we think we’ve got a thing or two to teach the nation that gave us Ingmar Bergman?

    It’s easy to find a lot of people trying to convince themselves that this film is a guaranteed classic.  (“I’m so happy they cast Robin Wright!” they exclaim.  “I usually hate remakes but with David Fincher aboard, I’m looking forward to this,” another one will say.  And, of course, my favorite: “This movie is not a remake!”)  But nobody seems to be willing to address just why exactly we would need a new Lisbeth Salander when she’s already been created to perfection by Noomi Rapace.

    Seriously, both Rapace and Lisbeth deserves better.

    For that matter, so does Rooney Mara.

    A Few Thoughts On The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo Remake


    Have I mentioned how much I loved The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo?  Have I suggested that the late Stieg Larsson, in the Millenium Trilogy, did for Europe what James Ellroy did for America with the American Tabloid trilogy?  Have I gone into the fact I think Noomi Rapace’s performance as Lisbeth in both the original film and its sequels will probably be remembered as one of the greatest film performances of all time?  Have I explained that I think, even beyond Rapace’s performance, Lisbeth herself is one of the best characters in the history of film?  For that matter, have I talked about the hours that I’ve spent standing with my back to a mirror and looking over my shoulder and debating on which shoulder-blade a dragon would look most appropriate?  Personally, I think my left shoulder-blade is a bit nicer than my right but last night, my friend Jeff was telling me that…

    Sorry, I’m losing focus here.  Okay, getting the ADD under control.  Anyway, the point of the matter is that I love The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo. 

    That’s why I feel a lot of caution about the upcoming, David Fincher-helmed remake.  First off, quite frankly, I really don’t see what can be improved on the original films.  It’s not as if the original film version of the Girl With The Dragon Tattoo failed to do justice to the book (if anything, the book fails to do justice to the film that eventually made from it).  I suppose a remake would give people who can’t handle subtitles the chance to see the story but honestly, who cares about those losers?  Speaking of the story, the rumors I hear seem to indicate that this remake is going to be an “Americanized” version of The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo, which I’m not really sure can be done as the entire book is basically meant to act as a metaphor for Swedish society.  Of course, it is possible that the remake is going to be set in Sweden as well but if that’s the case, what’s the point of the remake?

    I know the usual argument to these concerns is that, as a director, Fincher will not allow the film to be Hollywoodized.  At one point that may have been true but, judging from The Curious Case of Benjamin Button, Fincher’s got more Hollywood in him than most people want to admit.  The fact that he’s also teamed up with Aaron Sorkin (an establishment figure if there ever was one) to direct a movie about Facebook doesn’t exactly fill me with confidence but I’ll hold off on judging until the Social Network actually shows up in theaters.

    However, I am encouraged by the news (announced yesterday) that Fincher has cast Daniel Craig as the male lead, Mikael Blomkvist (or whatever his name is going to be in the Hollywood version).  Craig’s name had been mentioned for the role ever since the remake was first announced but there were also reports that the role would go to Brad Pitt (who, of course, has already made 3 films with Fincher).  Nothing against Brad Pitt (who I think is a truly underrated actor) but it’s hard to think of a worst choice for the role of Mikael.  Mikael’s defining characteristic is just how ineffectual he is.  He’s the ultimate well-meaning intellectual, the type of guy who wants to fight injustice but is to insulated from the harsh realities of life to effectively do so.  (That’s why he needs Lisbeth, she represents everything he wishes he could do but can’t.)  In short, Mikael is a hero by default and casting an actor like Brad Pitt would throw the entire movie off-balance.

    Mikael is not a role for a star.  Mikael is a role for a character actor and, James Bond aside, that’s exactly what Daniel Craig is.  (That’s one reason why Craig’s Bond is dull, regardless of how good a performance Craig gives in the role.)  Not only is Craig the right age, he projects just the right amount of idealistic weariness for the role.  Admittedly, it helps that Craig bears a passable physical resemblance to the original Mikael, Michael Nyqvist which, if nothing else, will make it easier for fans of the original film — like me — to accept him.

    (For the record, my personal choice for Mikael would have been Tim Roth.)

    Of course, the question now is who will win the role of Lisbeth and why would they want it?  For me, Noomi Rapace is Lisbeth.  She is the girl with dragon tattoo.  It’s hard to think of single mainstream actress in her 20s or early 30s who could hope to match Rapace’s performance.  (Perhaps a young Angelina Jolie could have though physically, Jolie is all wrong for the part.)  However, even beyond what Rapace did with the character, Lisbeth is one of the most vivid and memorable characters in recent literary history.  Even without having to worry about the shadow of Rapace’s previous performance, the role is not an easy one.

    Originally, rumor had it that Kristen Stewart was a lock for the role.  At the risk of being burned at the stake as a heretic, I’m going to say that I think Stewart could have been an adequate (though not a great) Lisbeth except for the fact that she’s about ten years too young.  (While Lisbeth is described as looking like a teenager, she also projects a worldliness of someone much older.  Physical appearance can be faked but life experience can not.)  Carey Mulligan, star of An Education (the best film of 2009, by the way), was another actress who was frequently mentioned.

    Well, according to Entertainment Weekly, neither Stewart nor Mulligan will play Lisbeth Salander.  Neither will Natalie Portman who, according to EW, was offered the role but turned it down.  The offer to Portman makes sense as she’s physcially right for the role and she’s an undeniably talented actress.  However, much as Pitt could never have been convincing as Mikael, Portman would have been miscast as Lisbeth.  Portman may be a talented actress but she’s also a rather passive one.  Even in her previous “action” roles (Leon, V For Vendetta), Portman essentially played a lost, damaged character (much like Lisbeth) who needed an older male figure to serve as her mentor (which, needless to say, is nothing like Lisbeth).

    Again, according to EW, the role of Lisbeth has been narrowed down to four actresses: Rooney Mara, Lea Seydoux, Sarah Snook, and Sophie Lowe.  It’s probably a good sign that none of these actresses are household names exactly.  Competing with the shadow of Noomi Rapace’s Lisbeth is going to be difficult enough without also having to deal with the shadow of their own previous performances.  (For instance, even if Stewart gave a brilliant performance as Lisbeth, it would still be impossible for me to get through the remake without making at least one Twilight joke.)

    For me, the real question is not who is going to be cast as Libseth but if Fincher and his producers are going to give us the real Lisbeth — this would be the unapologetically lesbian Lisbeth who can only befriend Mikael once she’s sure that she doesn’t any sort of sexual attraction towards him — or if we’re going to get a more mainstream, Hollywood version of Lisbeth.  Are we going to get the real Lisbeth who needs no one or are we going to get another version of what Hollywood claims to be a strong woman, one who can fight up until the final 30 minutes of the film at which point she’s suddenly rendered helpless by the demands of Mainstream Filmmaking 101.

    More than anything, that will be the test that Fincher’s Girl With The Dragon Tattoo will have to pass if it wants to be anything more than an unneeded imitation of the original.

    (Incidentally, the perfect Lisebth Salander would be Jena Malone.  End of story.)

    2010: The Year In Film So Far


    Everyone views history in their own individual way.  Some people remember past years by what they saw on the evening news (hence, 2004 becomes “the year Bush was reelected”) but I define them by what was playing at the nearest movie theater.  Ask me when I was born and I won’t tell you, “1985.”  Instead, I’ll tell you that I was born the same year that Terry Gilliam’s Brazil was butchered by Sid Shienberg.  For me, the quality of a year is determined by the quality of the movies that were released during those twelve months.  You may have hated 2009 because of the economy.  I hated it because it was the year of the overrated movie, the year in which otherwise sensible people ignored great films like An Education, A Serious Man, District 9, and Inglorious Basterds (which, praised as it was, deserved considerably more) in favor of Avatar and The Hurt Locker.

    2010, however, is shaping up to be a far better year.  Though a final judgment can’t be passed on 2010 until 2011, here’s a few thoughts on the year so far.

    Best Film (so far): Exit Through The Gift Shop, a quasi-documentary that might just be one of the most perfectly executed mindfucks in modern history.  Runners-up: The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo, Fish Tank, Please Give, Winter’s Bone, A Prophet, Toy Story 3, and Inception.

    Best Male Performance of the year so far: John Hawkes, in Winter’s Bone.  Hawkes has been overshadowed by Jennifer Lawrence but he dominates every scene that he appears in.  Just consider the scene where he “talks” his way out of a traffic stop. Runners-ups: John C. Reilly in Cyrus, Ben Stiller in Greenberg, Leonardo DiCaprio in Inception and Shutter Island, and Sam Rockwell in Iron Man 2.

    Best Female Performance of the year so far: Noomi Rapace as the Girl With The Dragon Tattoo and The Girl Who Played With Fire.  Rapace is my new role model, a Ms. 45 for the 21st century.  Runners-up: Jennifer Lawrence in Winter’s Bone, Katie Jarvis for Fish Tank, Rebecca Hall in Please Give, Greta Gerwig in Greenberg, and Chloe Grace Moretz in Kick-Ass.

    Best Ending: The final shot of Inception.

    Best Horror Film: The Wolf Man, which should have been oh so bad but instead turned out to be oh so good with Anthony Hopkins and Hugo Weaving both giving brilliant supporting performances. 

    Best Bad Movie: Sex and the City 2.  Yes, if I’m going to be honest, it was a horrible movie.  But it was fun. the clothes were to die for, and the film managed to bring new depths of shallowness to the examination of the oppression of women in the Middle East.

    Worst Film Of The Year (so far): Chloe.  Oh, Atom Egoyan, poor baby, what have you done, sweetheart?  You made a trashy, campy softcore movie and then you forgot that these things are supposed to be fun!  Runner-up: Robin Hood, because the entire freaking movie was a lie.  However, it did feature Oscar Isaac screaming, “Outlawwwwww!” and that saves it from being named the worst.

    Worst Horror Film So Far: The Black Waters On Echo’s Pond.  So.  Fucking.  Bad.

    The Get-Over-It-Award For The First Half Of 2010: The makers of Prince of Persia, who just had to try to turn an otherwise entertainingly mindless action film into yet another half-assed cinematic allegory for the Invasion of Iraq.  Ben Kingsley will probably be playing thinly disguised versions of Dick Cheney for the rest of his life.  I was against the Invasion of Iraq from the start but seriously, I’m so bored with every movie released using it as a way to try to fool the audience into thinking that they’re seeing something more worthwhile than they are.

    The Read-The-Freaking-Book-Instead Award: The Killer Inside Me.  A lot of viewers are disturbed by the violent way that the main character deals with the women in his life.  I’m more disturbed by the fact that all the women in his life are presented as being simpering idiots.  The original novel is by Jim Thompson and it is a classic.

    The worst ending of 2010 so far: Splice with the Killer Inside Me as a strong runner-up.

    Future Film I’m Not Looking Forward To: Roland Emmerich’s Gusher, an ecological thriller based on the BP oil spill, starring Will Smith as the President, Dev Patel as the governor of Louisiana, Paul Bettany as the head of the evil oil company, and Ben Kingsley as Dick Cheney who will be seen cackling as oil-drenched doves wash up on the shores of California.  (How did the oil get to California?  Emmerich magic.)  Of course, the nominal star of the movie will be Jake Gyllenhaal as the young engineer who says stuff like, “This well is going to blow!” and who is trying to reconcile with his estranged wife (played by — does it really matter?  Let’s just say Emily Blunt gets the role this time around).  And let’s not forget Robert Duvall, who will play a grizzled old-timer who says a lot of grizzled old-timer stuff.  Look for it in 2012.

    My prediction for which film will be the most overrated of 2010: The Social Network, which has not opened yet but Sasha Stone at awardsdaily.com seems to think that it’s a slam dunk for greatness which is usually a pretty good indication that the end result is going to be a predictable, bourgeois crapfest.

    So, that’s 2010 so far.  It’s shaping up to be a good year.  I’m still looking forward to the release of Blue Valentine, Animal Kingdom, Get Low, The Disappearance of Alice Creed, The Last Exorcism, Wall Street, and the rerelease of Godard’s classic Breathless, which is one of my favorite movies and now I’m going to get a chance to see it in a theater!  Life is good.