For today’s music video of the day, we have the latest from Fallout Boy. This song has a very surreal, otherworldly feel to it and, as such, it is ideal for a day like February 29th, a day that only exists every four years.
Enjoy!
Tag Archives: Lisa Marie Bowman
Late Night Retro Television Review: Monsters 1.22 “Satan In The Suburbs”
Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Wednesdays, I will be reviewing Monsters, which aired in syndication from 1988 to 1991. The entire show is streaming on Tubi.
Odd episode, this week.
Episode 1.22 “Satan In The Suburbs”
(Dir by Warner Shook, originally aired on May 13th, 1989)
Despite having graduated from Yale (and having the sweatshirt to prove it), Xantipe Finch (Deborah Strang) is struggling. Unable to interest any publishers in any of her books and raising her son, Marty (Danny Gerard), alone, Xantipe is forced to make extra money through baking and selling cookies. The bill collectors keep calling and threatening to turn off her electricity and to kick her and Marty out onto the streets.
Then a mysterious man (played by a young Chris Noth) materializes in her kitchen. The man says that he’s come from Hell. Because he won a football bet with Satan, the man has been allowed to come to Earth and to recruit Xantipe to write his autobiography. If the book is published, the man will continue to be a happy demon. If the book fails, he’ll be either demoted or turned into a low-level angel. Huh? What? I don’t know. It didn’t make any sense while the man was explaining it and it doesn’t make any sense now that I’m typing it up.
Reluctantly, Xantipe helps the man. The man, for his part, deals with the bill collectors and also starts to corrupt both Xantipe and her son. The book gets written and published but Xantipe rejects the devil’s influence, even though it means returning to a life of struggling to pay the bills. The episode ends with Xantipe back in her kitchen, baking cookies. The man is also there but he now has tiny angel wings on his back.
Yeah, I don’t know what any of it means either. It makes even less sense when you watch it.
This was not a great episode. It was never really explained why the book has to be written, why Xantipe had to be the one to help write it, or why the man turned into an angel. The episode ended with a suggestion that Xantipe and the man were now in love but there was nothing in the 20 minutes that preceded it that would have set the audience up for that ending. Chris Noth was adequate as the demon and Deborah Strang was likable as Xantipe but otherwise, this episode felt like filler.
Retro Television Review: The Love Boat 4.5 and 4.6 “The Mallory Quest/Julie, the Vamp/The Offer”
Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Wednesdays, I will be reviewing the original Love Boat, which aired on ABC from 1977 to 1986! The series can be streamed on Paramount Plus!
This week, it’s a special two-hour episode of The Love Boat!
Episodes 4.5 and 4.6 “The Mallory Quest/Julie, The Vamp/The Offer”
(Dir by Richard Kinon, originally aired on November 15th, 1980)
This week, The Love Boat heads off on a two-week cruise that will take the ship, its crew, and its passengers through the Panama Canal. There will also be stops at all the various islands on the way. This is important because this is one of the episodes that was actually filmed on location. Instead of the usual sets, we get to watch the action play out on an actual cruise ship.
Unfortunately, the actual cruise ship is kind of …. well, tacky. Seriously, it’s hard not to notice that the hallways and the front lobby all look considerably more cramped and weathered than they have in other episodes of The Love Boat. It’s also hard not to notice that the extras (who were apparently actual passengers) are all considerably older than the usual Love Boat background actors.
In fact, with the ship in such disrepair, it is any shocked that Captain Stubing is thinking of leaving? When his old friend, Charlie (Dick Van Patten), boards the ship, he brings him a job offer. If Stubing accepts the offer, he’ll be living in New York, he’ll be making three times the money, and Vicki will get to have a normal life. Stubing loves the sea but he also wants Vicki to have a good future. Vicki — in a scene that was well-acted by both Jill Whelan and Gavin MacLeod — tells him not to worry about her and that he needs to do what makes him happy. And so, the Captain stays with the boat and I presume Vicki will continue to be taught by the tutor that we occasionally hear about but never actually see.
Meanwhile, Julie McCoy has been accused of being a vamp! Maude Victor (Lani O’Grady) is convinced that Julie is trying to steal her fiancé, Roger (Bart Braverman). Eventually, Roger himself become confused and Julie pretends to be interested in Roger just to get Roger and Maude back together again. This was a dumb story and I don’t want to waste any more time on it.
Indeed, for all the Stubing drama and Julie silliness, this two-hour episode was dominated by one story. Arrogant novelist Brian Mallory (Pernell Roberts) boards the boat with his long-suffering wife, Janet (Gayle Hunnicutt). Brian has secretly bought tickets for three other passengers. Peter (Skip Stephenson) is an insurance agent who is due to donate a kidney to his brother. Marvin (Jimmie Walker) owns a bookstore. Marcia Rand (Connie Stevens) brings along her fitness-obsessed boyfriend, Dave Porter (Peter Lupus). Mallory reveals that Peter, Marvin, Marcia, and Gopher were the last four people to see his nephew, Tom. Mallory has never met his nephew but he wants to track him down and apparently, Tom is living on one of the islands that the cruise is scheduled to visit. Brian wants the four of them to help him look for Tom and he offers a $10,000 reward to make things interesting. Why does Brian want to find his nephew? Eventually, it is revealed that Tom is in possession of a family heirloom that Brian feels is rightfully his. Sinister Lucius Kergo (Sorrell Brooke) is also on the cruise and he is determined to get the heirloom for himself.
Janet grows so tired of Brian’s arrogance and his obsession with finding his nephew that she declares that she’s leaving him. Since the cruise is booked up, she ends up staying with Doc Bricker. Doc falls for Janet but he realizes that she truly loves Brian and, when Brian starts to show some humility and some remorse for the way that he’s treated her, Doc encourages her to go back to him …. which she does because this is The Love Boat, not The Divorce Boat.
Anyway, Tom Mallory is eventually tracked down to a monastery in Puerto Rico. Tom gives Brian the heirloom but the newly kind Brian gives it back to him so that he can sell it and use the money to build a free clinic. Good for Brian!
Disheveled cruise ship aside and ignoring that terrible Julie plot, this was a fun episode. The island scenery was gorgeous and the mystery of Tom’s location actually turned out to be a lot more intriguing than I was expecting it would. Watching this episode made me want to take a cruise, even if it is a tacky one.
Late Night Retro Television Review: Baywatch Nights 1.16 “The Curator”
Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Tuesdays, I will be reviewing Baywatch Nights, a detective show that ran in Syndication from 1995 to 1997. The entire show is currently streaming on Youtube!
Yep, it’s another late review. Sorry, I was exhausted last night.
Episode 1.16 “The Curator”
(Dir by Georg Fenady, originally aired on March 9th, 1996)
When Garth Youngblood (Steven Culp) threatens to shoot himself in her lifeguard tower, Caroline Holdren (Yasmine Bleeth) begs him not to and tells him that he not only has a lot to live but his name isn’t half as stupid as he thinks that it is. Deciding that Caroline is in love with him, Garth turns into a full-on psycho, the type of guy who chases Caroline across the beach, puts Lifeguard Newman (Michael Newman) in the hospital, flirts with Donna, and ultimately ends up locking Caroline in a cage made to resemble an apartment, much as what happened to Billy Pilgrim in Slaughter-House Five.
Caroline turns to Mitch and his detective agency for protection. Of course, as head lifeguard, Mitch is already Caroline’s boss so he already should be looking out for her. Unfortunately, even after Garth is arrested, he’s released after he explains that he forgot to take his Prozac. (That’s the actual excuse that they give! Never mind that everyone’s favorite lifeguard, Newmie!, is in the hospital because Garth smashed his head through a window.) Garth is given a restraining but, because Caroline works on the beach, it’s easy for Garth to watch her while standing 100 feet away.
Now, on the plus side, Steven Culp was believably creepy as Garth and this episode had no fear of embracing the storyline for all of the macabre melodrama that it could. Yasmine Bleeth also does a good job portraying Caroline’s growing fear as Garth grows more and more unstable. As an actress on Baywatch, I’m sure she had to deal with a lot of real-life Garths and, speaking as someone who has been stalked, I appreciated that both Bleeth and the show itself took her fears seriously. The scene in which Caroline runs across the beach with Garth in pursuit was far more effective and scary than you would ever expect to find on an episode of Baywatch Nights.
That said, this episode highlighted one of the big problems with the second half of Baywatch Night‘s debut season. This was essentially just an episode of Baywatch, with the extra addition of Angie Harmon flirting with Mitch and Eddie Cibrian’s Griff standing the background. (I guess Griff is a part of the detective agency now.) Baywatch Nights originally started as a show about Mitch spending his nights as a private investigator but this episode took place largely during the day and featured Mitch as a lifeguard. Baywatch Nights without the nights is just Baywatch.
Fear not, though! We’re just a few episodes away from one of the most radical reboots in television history!
Music Video of the Day: Obsession by Joywave (2019, dir by Laura Gorun, Cooper Roussel and Dimitri Basil)
We all have our obsessions. Right now, my obsession is trying to wake up and get back on my usual posting schedule. Perhaps this song and music video will help.
Enjoy!
Retro Television: Fantasy Island 4.15 “Loving Strangers/Something Borrowed, Something Blue”
Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Tuesdays, I will be reviewing the original Fantasy Island, which ran on ABC from 1977 to 1984. Almost the entire show is currently streaming on Daily Motion.
Sorry for running late with the review today. Are you prepared for some romance?
Episode 4.15 “Loving Strangers/Something Borrowed, Something Blue”
(Dir by Cliff Bole, originally aired on February 14th, 1981)
It’s a special Valentine’s Day episode of Fantasy Island!
Now, I have to admit that my first reaction to this was to think that I would be pretty depressed if I spent a Valentine’s Day at home, watching Fantasy Island. But then I realized that’s pretty much what happened to me this year. I had the excuse of a sprained ankle, though. Add to that, I was watching The Love Boat instead of Fantasy Island and Jeff and I still had a romantic time, even if I was stuck on the couch for most of the day.
(For the record, my ankle is doing much better. It only hurts with every 20th step now.)
Anyway, both of this episode’s fantasies are about falling in love.
Tom (Peter Marshall) and Margaret Wilkerson (Jane Powell) have been married for 25 years. It’s been a happy marriage but they’re both curious whether they would still fall in love if they met each other as the way they are now. Their fantasy is to meet again for the very first time. Mr. Roarke warns them that this might not be a good idea but Tom and Margaret still choose to walk through the Door of Forgetfulness and immediately forget that they know each other or that they’re married. Uh-oh — Tom’s flirting with a younger woman! And Margaret just met international man of mystery, Cesar Romero. Well, that marriage is doomed. Or is it?
No, of course, it’s not doomed. This is Fantasy Island and it’s Valentine’s Day. Still, you do have to wonder why Roarke grants fantasies that could so easily go terribly wrong. What if Tom and Margaret hadn’t eventually found each other again? How would that be explained to the members of their family in Indiana? Does Mr. Roarke ever worry about getting sued?
As for the other fantasy, Jack Foster (John Gavin) wants to marry Pamela Archer (Shelley Smith) on the Island. The wedding is being planned. Tattoo is calling people to order the cake and the plates and the silverware and it’s actually kind of neat to see Tattoo do something other than glare at Mr. Roarke. However, Pamela has not told Jack the truth about her trampy past and she fears that, if the truth comes out, it will destroy Jack’s campaign to be governor of Illinois. (I don’t know what she’s worried about. It’s not like Illinois has a reputation for being run by ruthless political machine or anything.) Pamela wants to marry Jack but …. OH NO, IT’S MARJOE GORTNER!
Marjoe plays Nick Corbin, who was apparently Pamela’s pimp in her previous life. He’s come to Fantasy Island to drag Pamela away from Jack and Pamela feels that she has to go with him in order to protect Jack. Jack reveals that he knows about her past and he doesn’t care. He then confronts Nick, who pulls a knife on him. OH NO! Fortunately, Mr. Roarke appears and literally tosses Nick 20 feet into the air. I’m not kidding, either. MARJOE GORTNER GOES FLYING!
With Nick taken care of, Jack and Pamela have an incredibly tacky wedding. Mr. Roarke walks Pamela down the aisle because apparently, Pamela has no family. That’s kind of sad.
But the important thing is that everything worked out. To be honest, neither fantasy was that interesting but I’m always happy to see Marjoe Gortner. No one glowered quite like Marjoe!
Song of the Day: Ring Of Fire by Johnny Cash
I meant to share this yesterday for Johnny Cash’s birthday but I was pretty tired when we got home from the lake and I missed my chance to do so. But the voice of Johnny Cash was so strong that it can justify a song of the day even after his birthday.
So, with a belated happy birthday to the spirit of Johnny Cash, here is today’s song of the day!
Scenes That I Love: Elizabeth Taylor Enters Rome In Cleopatra
Today would have been the 92nd birthday of one of the greatest film stars of all time, Elizabeth Taylor!
Today’s scene that I love comes from 1963’s Cleopatra. Cleopatra is often dismissed as the film that nearly bankrupted a studio but it’s enjoyable if you’re in the right mood and you’ve got four hours of free time. Elizabeth Taylor may not have been a historically accurate Cleopatra but who cares? It seems appropriate that the most glamorous woman of what was then the modern world played the most glamorous woman of the ancient world.
In this scene, Cleopatra arrives in Rome with all of the fanfare befitting the world’s most beautiful and powerful woman. Keep in mind that this scene was done in the days before CGI and — *shudder* — AI. Every costume was real. Every extra was real. Everything about this scene was real.
Music Video of the Day: Love On by Selena Gomez (2024, dir by Gregory Ohrel)
For today’s music video of the day, we have the latest from Texas’s own Selena Gomez!
Enjoy!
Late Night Retro Television Reviews: CHiPs 1.16 “Vintage ’54”
Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Mondays, I will be reviewing CHiPs, which ran on NBC from 1977 to 1983. The entire show is currently streaming on Freevee!
This week, the key words on the highway of California are “team work!”
Episode 1.16 “Vintage ’54”
(Dir by Barry Crane, originally aired on January 26th, 1978)
It’s a three-day weekend and that means the California Highway Patrol even more mayhem to deal with than usual!
For instance, two car thieves are driving up and down the highway, searching for classic cars. One stolen car belongs to 85 year-old Margaret Downey (Marjorie Bennett), who proceeds to go down to the station and personally demand that Sgt. Getraer find her car. The thieves are eventually caught, thanks to the entire Highway Patrol working as a team and keeping an eye out for stolen cars. The emphasis here was on teamwork, which Ponch and Baker just doing their part as opposed to be singled out.
It’s also teamwork that reunites a baby with the family that accidentally left her behind at a rest stop. Ponch and Baker are the ones who take the baby to the station and they’re the ones who nickname the baby “Princess” and buy her toys but, in the end, it’s the entire Highway Patrol working together that eventually brings the baby back to her grateful parents.
Baker and Ponch do get a moment in the spotlight when a skydiver ends up getting tangled up and hanging from a highway overpass. Baker is the one who grabs hold of her legs to keep her from falling while Ponch is the one who recruits a crane to help rescue her. But again, Baker and Ponch are not working alone. Instead, there are other motorists who help out, some by holding onto Baker and another by allowing Ponch to use his crane.
My point is that this episode was all about people working together to make the world a better and a safer place. That’s not a bad message and the show delivers it with a good deal of sincerity. With the exception of the scenery-chewing Marjorie Bennett, everyone is on their best behavior with this episode, with even Erik Estrada toning down his usual overacting. And, of course, there’s two exciting motorcycle chases, both of which are very well-filmed. There was nothing particularly amazing about this episode. It was pretty much a typical hour of CHiPs but it was still very well-done.
Next week, Ponch and Baker have an important lesson to teach about hitchhiking!
Through the Shattered Lens 